#so i've been ruminating over that and it just fuels my love for them

[sleepy-aletheas]

Tipsy rambling about Ratio

For someone who tried to catch Nous’ gaze, he really thinks less about the Genius Society. He seems like the person who thinks their smarts are wasted by being so selfish and self-absorbed about their ambitions that cost other people their well-being when they could achieve so much and help so many more people.

It’s interesting that his character stories are told through outsider perspectives. We don’t know what he truly thinks in those moments, in those moments in his life that seem to be so important that we are told about them. Sometimes I think about the story how he created the anti-planetary-weapon-thingy and how it’s told through the perspective of his assistant. He got a letter and let out a weary sigh. I wonder if that is where everyone got the idea that he wants to get into the genius society so badly, even till this day. Cause it could have been a sigh of someone disappointed in another’s disinterest. He is a doctor and someone who tries to help people (in his own ways, but ultimately not to seriously harm), so him building such a weapon could have been him testing the morality of others and be disappointed that even geniuses can be so fucking stupid like any other person. (Disillusionment of grandeur of someone you idolize can leave you questioning yourself for a long time)

I love his delivery of sentiments. It’s so harsh and sarcastic and demeaning, he sounds exactly like me when I try to get on others’ nerves to rise a reaction that they would usually avoid, so I could map them out better, except he does it earnestly. Which is so much funnier to me. Like yes, step over other’s feelings like a tipsy elephant, Veritas. This is a great character flaw to learn to navigate (not necessary fix, because there is a certain charm to it, and also I think, if monitored properly, it can be handled in a delicate manner; maybe I’m just projecting my own lack of societal takt, I don’t really care)

Him being caring with the sandpaper treatment is the funniest thing to me. Like, yes. Insult everyone and yet (im)patiently wait until they use their brains to think about something deeper than the surface. There is something about rough intelligent characters with a genuine hope for the better that make me go feral. Maybe it’s the juxtaposition, or maybe a projection on my part (again, I don’t care which one it is)

His love for rubber duckies is something I feel on a spiritual level. All hardass characters need to have a cute quirk. And a weird eating habit. And a “are you serious” type of sleeping position. And a silly side that makes them do ridiculous poses of statues with their own selves. (But that is once again a purely me thing)

I love how he insults Aventurine and yet it’s a thinly veiled compliment at moments. Best example is when you brute force the nightingale puzzle and along the lines he says Aventurine should join the Intelligentsia Guild. Which can be read as a joke (which probably was meant to be portrayed in-game for Sunday), but it’s not an insult all things considered. Veritas is in the Intelligentsia Guild. They would work for the same part of the IPC. If it was meant as an insult, then it would insult Veritas too, cause the sarcasm on the Genius Society was that if Veritas can’t get into the ranks, Aventurine absolutely couldn’t. And there was no specification on it being sarcasm either like the Genius Society bit.

Also I love him texting the Trailblazer, it’s so fun. Him asking if they want to pursue any schooling and in what major. Recommending them getting to learn more about debate. Wanting to unwind, so asking the Trailblazer to give him anything to think about and then be fascinated in the cutest way. He can be soft, but in the roughest way possible, and I respect that.

Even the whole playing-chess-with-himself bit is so goofy, why is he like this?? And him basically testing everyone to see what they would do, mainly the geniuses. He probably wanted to feel out the Trailblazer and in a sense also Asta (who is more of the keeper of the space station that Herta, imo), but it was a bigger test to see what Screwllum and Herta would do, and his disappointment just made me think maybe he doesn’t wanna even be in the Genius Society anymore, cause if being callous and selfish and self-absorbent is the genius quality that Nous is seeking, then he will rather be in the Intelligentsia Guild and call himself a Mundanite, cause he wants the whole universe to step up and move forward, not just a select few that leave others in the dust to die.

Simply put, he is the most infuriating character I wanna toss into the ocean whenever he opens his mouth, and I love him so dearly, my teeth itch to chew on him. The cute aggression is real with him around, and hoyo knows what they're doing. And I thank them for it.

#hsr ratio #veritas is very dear to me and i wanna make him suffer to see how he claws his way out of it #hoyo figured out the type of “genius” characters i fall for and they weaponize it against me daily (i'm not complaining) #the best character flaw for him is him being so rough and it backfiring eventually in the most heartbreaking way #just so he learns to balance it out. rationality without feeling is missing out half the equation and he should know better than that #if my english is bad or i made typos. i don't care. i'm not reading this over again #i realized to make the comparison between the devastating blondes and their buff bfs i would need to first address each individually #so i've been ruminating over that and it just fuels my love for them #i'll get to it eventually. rl is kinda a mess now to give this due diligence i feel this deserves

[bookwyrminspiration]

I don't remeber if I've already asked this so I'll do it again

I don't really like the whole Forkle twin deal. It's like Forkle 2 was there to replace Forkle 1, so what was the point of killing Forkle 1 in the first place? Forkle 1's death was a big deal, and it really affected Sophie. I feel like Forkle 2 just made everyone forget about Forkle 1, including Sophie. Instead of a twin, I would have liked to see Sophie angry. Someone close to her has died. Now she's not only fighting for what's right, she's fighting for revenge. I think this will be a motive in the upcoming books, she will think about Brielle, and Forkel, and her friends and family, and herself who the Neverseen have hurt.

Sorry this was so long, but I just had to rant

Don't worry about length; I agree with you! I think for me it's not necessarily that I'm upset Mr. Forkle turned out to actually be two people, but rather the way it was used.

Because we didn't feel the impact! The story didn't change for Sophie. We know that someone died and they planted the wanderling and everything, but aside from that, she still has a Forkle to look to and to ask questions of. He still can be a guiding/supportive figure and can still be cryptic and can still assume multiple identities. To the point that (for me at least) I have to be reminded that he died when I'm reading. Like yeah I'm aware it happened but I don't feel it--and I think that's part of why Shannon had those scenes where Mr. Forkle is now like "I am not what I once was :(" and "Things are so much harder without my brother now :(" because if she didn't keep bringing it up it'd be like it never happened!

I can understand the importance of him being a twin in the sense that it gives him a very intense personal reason to be in the Black Swan and working against their society. Because their situation is extreme in the fact they're two people living one life, and it impacted every aspect of who they were. There's no simple way for them to have been accepted into society, so they turned to other measure (the Black Swan). Sophie mentioned that at one point she thought of him as the Black Swan, and I think that's because he no longer has a life outside of it. Tiergan is a mentor and has a son, Livvy is also a doctor in real life with responsibilities, Juline has an entire family and is a mother. They all have lives outside of being in the Black Swan, but Mr. Forkle feels like he's in the Black Swan and sometimes lives other lives, if that makes sense.

but back to the topic, Mr. Forkle having a twin who could continue to be Forkle didn't (in my opinion) allow for his twin's death to have an impact beyond the confrontation scene. After the planting, it felt like nothing.

I think it would've been interesting to see her reaction to a death close to her, the permanence of it. I don't think she'd react like when her human parents were taken, because that was a situation where things could still happen to her parents and it was held over her. But with the person dead? Nothing worse can happen to them and she doesn't have to worry about them getting hurt if she does something.

There have been a few scenes (if I'm remembering correctly) where Sophie does something similar to the thinking about those dead. It might've been the inflicting scenes, where she thinks of all the people the Neverseen have hurt and it enrages her and fuels her inflicting. Don't quote me on that though i'm vaguely ruminating about what it was. My point is I don't think that's impossible! She's been getting angrier over the course of the series, and a huge shift happened in Unlocked when she went from defense to offense. So I think it's very possible that with that shift her mindset could shift from protect to avenge.

I think most of us would like to see Sophie...I don't know how to describe this. Go feral? Unleash herself? Abandon her previous attitude and let herself hurt people? To avenge those she loves who have been hurt? I think you kinda get the idea even if I'm forgetting the word right now.

But I do agree with you! I don't like how the twin thing was handled or how Mr. Forkle's death didn't feel impactful, so thanks for bringing it up!

#it's like she reminds us of it because we're going to forget. if you have to remind your readers that a major character is dead #then you're doing something wrong. we should feel it. we should remember it. #for someone like forkle we shouldn't be able to forget that he died #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #bluecookiesarebetter #mr. forkle

[mc-critical]

How do you think Şah Huban and Ibrahim's relationship really was? We've never been given insights about it and while I would have loved flashbacks, the way it is also fits well imo. Şah has an air of mystery around her, part of why I love her so, because I love unravelling ambiguous yet clear characters with hints but not insights to their backstory. I've always been drawn to them and Şah Huban is another one of them.

Personally, I can see why they would be drawn to each other at first. They are both shown as appreciative of art, very intelligent and pragmatic and have a similar personality, but in the long run I can't see them working as both prefer to be the dominant partner and Şah is very prideful and always maintains a power balance with those not from the family, whereas Ibrahim is quite insecure. They'd clash.

Even Hatice's reminder of his status hurt him so much that he started an affair with Nigar. According to him, it was a loss of innocence between them and for sure Hatice's innocence, purity, and nativity is what I think drew him to her, and I can see why. Among all the darkness of politics, power plays, his own insecurities and early loss of innocence, Hatice would have been the one ray of light to him..Their entire early interactions and love was so pure and free of darkness and I don't think he ever had that with Şah, who I don't think was ever innocent.

Şah also told Hürrem that Ibrahim is quite difficult to control and I thought that was maybe hinting at the past. It always seemed to me that she was the one who ended things with Ibrahim, judging by her and Ibrahim's interactions ( I really wish we had more of those ) and I have many theories why.

Also, my personal interpretation is that she did move on from Ibrahim and only had vestiges of her feelings for him, his memories to be more precise, left by the time we see her. Unlike many people, I don't think her unwillingness to be with Lütfi sexually or romantically has anything to do with Ibrahim. I just don't think she loves him or wants him and I can see why tbh. While he is a decent enough politician, he doesn't have much personality to be attracted to nor demeanor lmao. even the way he read her that piece of poetry was quite dry, and he is visibly much older than her.

What do you think?

{I also love Şah's character for much of the same reasons you do. Her lack of a backstory and more simplistic design that isn't put through a deconstruction for a character arc in the way Hatice's was during S02/3 bring us one of the most unique characters in the whole franchise. These aspects of her personality complement her motivation and I find her motivation to be the most fascinating element about her that makes for an interesting, contrasting duality in all her relationships. Revealing more backstory for her risks throwing all this out of the window, that's why I'm usually okay with that the show not delving deeper into her past.}

Still, in the case of Ibrahim, I agree that we could've seen a few more flashbacks. I feel Şah's distance and tiny resentment of Hatice stems from her previous feelings for Ibrahim and more flashbacks would put that distance and resentment into more context, which I don't think would harm her character all that much. It would actually help flesh out Şah's relationship with Hatice on a deeper level and that's always welcome for me, since I found their relationship to be the epitome of where Şah's character shines the most. All these delicious contrasts, the way her ambition goes with the care she has for the people she's closest to.... I love it! sorry for the blabbering

I also pretty much agree with your view on Şah and Ibrahim's relationship. They definetly wouldn't get on all that well - their ideals would clash right out of the gate and Şah isn't a person that would pull rank out of ignorance, it's not something she wants to detach from, no, she's living with her position and she's proud of it. Anytime Ibrahim would disagree with Şah, I feel she's going to pull rank instantly. And that's not something that Ibrahim would bear - Hatice did it one time and that one time was enough to make him doubt his whole relationship with her, I believe with Şah it's going to be an even more reccuring conflict and it's going to make things even worse.

I believe that in Manisa, in their past, Şah didn't have hopes for so long when it came to Ibrahim. Maybe she learned very quickly that he didn't have any feelings for her. Maybe Ibrahim didn't pay all that much attention to Şah and if she tried to give him subtle hints, he didn't catch on them at first. If Ibrahim and Hatice indeed had tiny crushes on each other that just hadn't had the chance to flourish yet in Manisa (as the flashback from E58 implied) and Şah became aware of this? All these factors could've contributed to Şah moving forward, along with her ambitious personality. Even her older self isn't a person who would fight what she views as a pointless battle (she didn't want to fight Mihrimah, she didn't get why Hürrem was such a problem at first, she could hold her part in the decisions SS made for Hatice off for so long) and her love for Hatice was apparently present even when they were kids (the whole horse situation), so these would be decent enough reasons for her to want to step out of it.

Her getting to know Ibrahim more personally after he could've gotten the hint is very likely, too. Her "he's difficult to control" line is definetly something to ruminate on: maybe she decided that they wouldn't get along despite of all, because yes, she would like to be on the more controlling side of the relationship. Not only is Ibrahim very insecure and wouldn't handle it when someone is pulling rank on him, this line could hint that a part of Ibrahim has had that ambitious side of him back in Manisa. Not as much in terms of power, but rather as in his sharp mind and dreams he had together with SS to conquer more than Alexander the Great and maybe Şah felt this aspect of his ambition whenever they've interacted. That means he could have exerted some amount of control in the relationship, and maybe Şah wouldn't be so okay. Both could be very dominating and that could very well show even earlier. There wouldn't be any innocence in their relationship, it would only result in clash of personalities and philosophies and probably both of them got aware of this. While with Hatice it was possible for both of them to get over their extremely idealistic delusions, because they both were able and willing to reason with one another deep down, you wouldn't get that with Şah. It's probable she would consider herself right and not realize what's wrong, especially in terms of pulling rank, because well, that's what the tradition and law stands on and for her, Ibrahim's only role is to fit the mold.

Yup, Şah definetly had some of her feelings for Ibrahim remaining, because that's what moved a lot of her conflict with Hatice. Maybe she felt some jealousy that Hatice succeeded to make this work and that could be also a part of why she wanted to stop Hatice from grieving and didn't tell her where Ibrahim's grave was, but on the other hand, she had accepted it to an extent, as seen by her reaction when she learned about the infidelity. One could argue that she got irritated because of her own feelings, but I feel she felt bad for Hatice, too, and was really surprised that he pulled something like this. Yet both circle back to her own feelings anyways. Another reason why I think she didn't get over her feelings for him completely is that (most of) what she does is driven by personal desire and attacks directed to her personal bonds and attachments. It's Hatice's suicide attempt that drove Şah to act against Hürrem, but it's also Ibrahim's death that made her at least think whether should she act, in my opinion, because of something so surprising happening to a personal attachment of hers, seemingly all of the sudden. (in E84, she also said in front of Ibrahim's grave that she wouldn't let his blood stay on the ground) Şah's actions are driven by feelings more than anything else, but she tries her best to mask these feelings and only use them as fuel to her more pragmatic plans, if that means letting go of them or discarding them completely. She puts mind over emotion not because she doesn't have emotion or vulnerability or feelings lingering from the past, it's more because she considers pragmatism and careful planning the better, more effective way to achieve her goals. Just like the dynastic views and the elitism, it's something engrained in her she's proud of, but in the case of her feelings, when she's alone or with Hatice she can open herself a bit more. But because she has gotten over Ibrahim, she would never admit outright she has something for him in front of him or Lïtfi later.

I also don't think Ibrahim has ever had feelings for Şah to begin with. I don't think he forgot their experiences and memories completely (the "did your love turn into hate?" line) , but he has definitely left them behind him, even more than Şah herself.

While I think the love for another (Ibrahim) was a part of Şah's distaste for Lütfi, especially because the first hint of conflict between them, as far as I recall, was him sorta shading on Ibrahim in E82, it's definetly not the only factor. He just isn't a guy she could fall in love with, no matter how much he seemed to love her (more like tough love, but still), I'm sure she has gotten to know the more shadier aspects of his character, since they've lived together for so long. (even though the situation around the prostitute surprised her, since she hasn't ever seen such amount of disrespect, Şah may have seen other skeletons in his closet. He seemed to be very authoritarian in the relationship. She also said in E101 that the divorce was a long time coming and I don't think it all originated from the show, the situations there were simply the peak of previous issues.) It being a forced marriage made things even worse, no one would like a forced marriage. I actually admire Şah for keeping up with this marriage for so long and finding advantage in it, being as composed as possible. (when she is) Their daughter is most probably what kept them together all these years, on a personal level outside of Şah's ambition.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #sah sultan #ibrahim pasha #ask #illusorybeing #i know I detracted from the topic quite a bit more than usual here and I'm sorry #but Şah is just so interesting

[strawberry-milktea]

I have struggled with self esteem problems the majority of my life, but this past year as I've gotten closer to God, I've learned to love myself. Earlier though, I had a bad breakdown after realizing I've gained some weight. Everything came back and it's like all my growth was undone in a moment. I see ugly again. Why is it so hard to get over this hurdle in my life? Why can't I see the beauty everybody else says they see instead of feeling like I'm just pretending? Advice and prayer please?

I’ve struggled with the same problem from a very young age, too.. So I understand how emotionally crippling and miserable it is to deal with. I’m sorry that you face this same painful struggle.For myself, it’s similar to you - after I was born again, my problems with my body image got much better. Compared to now, it was terrible in the past for me. I would get so negative about myself that it would put me in really bad, down moods and it would make me feel like I didn’t even want to go out at times. I didn’t let it get to the point that it would hinder me from going to work or school, but it still feels miserable to force yourself to go out when you’re in a bad mood about yourself. What made it so lonely was that family and friends didn’t see what I perceived as horrible flaws and sometimes they would lose patience with me because they saw me suffering and didn’t know how to make me feel better since complimenting me and telling me that what I saw wasn’t what they saw didn’t help much. I mean, it is always nice to be reassured that someone thinks you look nice and I would thank them for that - but when you are convinced in your mind that you have these terrible flaws, the pain is still there even if someone tells you what you’re feeling isn’t true. I would say what I dealt with was a form of body dysmorphic disorder and I’m thankful I didn’t let my fixation on my weight lead to an actual eating disorder. It’s messed up, but I think one of the main reasons I didn’t starve myself was because I was afraid not eating right would make my hair fall out and how grossed out I am by vomiting stopped me from getting into any bulimic behavior. It’s clear that the root of self-esteem and body image problems is the enemy. The enemy really had a hold on me with these horrible lies back then, and for so many years I allowed him to rob me of happiness. But like any other scheme from the enemy to destroy, Christ can and will overcome it if you call upon Him for help. Once I came to truly know Christ, these issues got so much better without me evening realizing. It wasn’t a sudden flip, but more of a gradual improvement. After dealing with this emotional torment for so many years, I began to realize I didn’t see that same distorted image of myself in the mirror. I saw myself as a whole, not as parts to zero in on and I saw that the parts of me fit together the way people had been saying they saw me.However, that’s not to say that I don’t get setbacks at times. Like you, there are times when the enemy starts preying on this because it’s a weakness for me. There are still times I find myself wishing I could lose weight or that certain parts of me were bigger, smaller, or shaped differently. Sometimes it’s triggered by stress, fatigue, or just happens randomly without any clear cause. Actually, just yesterday I found myself focusing in on an area of my body and getting worried. And I still find myself subconsciously listing all I ate for the day in my head at times before I eat something or feel guilty sometimes for going out to eat.I think the key is relying on Christ for strength and not giving the enemy’s accusatory lies about your appearance attention. When you start giving life to those thoughts about your body by milling them over in your mind and obsessively analyzing yourself in the mirror, it ends you up in that awful feeling of emotional turmoil. But if you call upon His name for help and make the decision not to give these thoughts attention, even if they’re nagging at your mind in the moment - you’ll find it will pass. When I made the decision yesterday not to focus on that negative thought the enemy sent my way, I moved forward with my day and avoided spiraling into a negative mindset. Another thing I would advise is not to keep a scale in your house. I don’t keep one because I know I would become a slave to it worrying about it if I see a fluctuation in the number. Meanwhile, there are so many factors that influence weight, especially for women - time of the month in relation to menstrual cycle (since bloating falsely increases weight), the time of the day you weigh yourself/what you have eaten so far in the day, etc. I don’t even look at the scale when they weigh me at doctor’s appointments. Eat healthy and exercise; if there were any dramatic shifts in your weight in either direction, you can tell that without a scale and could see your doctor with any concerns if necessary. If a scale is adding to your problems with this and giving the enemy fuel for his attacks, just throw it away or give it to someone else who needs it. When you have a predisposition to a certain weakness, the enemy will try to attack you. Like I mentioned earlier, it could be when you’re physically weak in some way - tired or stressed out by something going on in life, for example. Or in your case, the worry that you had gained weight was enough for him to gain a foothold and attack with all these terrible lies that make you feel ugly. However, it doesn’t mean your growth is undone - that’s another lie the enemy wants you to believe. Having a setback doesn’t mean your growth has reversed. If anything, the setback is another opportunity for Christ to work in you and make you even stronger so that you can better resist these kinds of attacks in the future. When you feel the enemy attacking you again, always call on Christ’s name for help and try your best not to ruminate on the lies the enemy brings with his attacks.I hope you found this helpful. And I hope it helps to know you are not alone in this. If you need to talk about this more, please feel free to message me as much as you need.

#God #asks #anon #self esteem #body dysmorphic disorder #spiritual attacks #body image #prayer requests #prayer request ask