#soheila-1996 writes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

Wake up, Rookie- Part one

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :)

Tags: @dulceghernandez @rookie-ramsey @te-fanz1 @aylamwrites @ethansmommyissues @schnitzelbutterfingers

Paring: Ethan x MC

Warnings: Coma/ car accident.

Word count: 1,640.

(Ethan’s POV)

I’m still sitting in the blue, plastic uncomfortable chair beside Casey’s bedside- like I’ve been doing all night long since I got the call.

My body has started to ache from staying in the same position but I’ve refused to move. I can’t leave her; I just can't.

The clock ticking, the heart monitor beeping, the ventilator forcing air into her battered and broken body, the nurses and doctors shuffling about are the only sounds I’ve heard all night. These are sounds that I hear every day, they represent my work but now it feels hell.

I’ve never felt pain like this before. Not when I lost Dolores or thought I was going to lose Naveen...this pain is something else. It physically hurts and It’s all my fault. I shifted in my seat and rub but hands over my tired and still red-rimmed, puffy eyes.

I turned my gaze to look up at the clock hung up on the wall beside me and realise that I had only been sleeping for less than an hour. I can’t sleep anyway; I don’t want to take my eyes off her.

I lean forward and take one of Casey’s hands into the both of mine and place a gentle kiss onto her knuckles.

I cleared my throat before speaking, “I now understand why people get so frustrated when we tell them to talk to their loved ones while they’re like this.” His eyes ran over her bruised and scratched up face. “I now understand how hard it is. To talk to you and act as if everything is okay. That word seems so wrong right now; nothing is okay, Case.” I swallowed thickly and wiped at my teary eyes. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry. If I didn’t piss you off so much you wouldn’t have left, you wouldn’t have been driving with tears clouding your vision that I caused.”

-12 hours earlier-

(Casey POV)

I can’t even remember why this argument started. They've just been getting more and more frequent lately. Ethan and I recently moved in with one another; things were going great and now...it’s not. Maybe it’s down to living together and working together; maybe it because now it feels like neither of us have space to breathe.

We have been an item for a long time now. It’ll be two years next month. We’ve taken it slow, we didn’t want to rush into anything, we didn’t want for our relationship to move too fast. Ever since we moved in together it’s just gone off the rails. At the start it was good, Ethan means everything to me, I love him more than anything but...we just seem to keep clashing with each other. Maybe moving into was just the wrong thing to do or at least that is how it feels right now. It’s like one enormous mistake but that’s not how this should feel. Not how it did feel in the beginning.

Fighting with Ethan is draining, we both get so wrapped up in whatever we’re squabbling about that we forget that we love each other; that we’re and together we can do anything...apparently that doesn’t include our relationship lately.

He’s talking, I can see his mouth moving but I’m drowning it out. I don’t care. I know he wants me to clap back at whatever childish, aggravating remark he’s making right but I don't have the energy to. I've had a long ass day, I just wanted to hang out with my boyfriend. I just wanted to cuddle up on the couch, order a pizza, watch a movie and fall asleep together like we used to do before all of this.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I whispered but somehow my boyfriend heard anyway. Ethan stopped talking as a look of confusion and then an unrecognisable expression spread across his face.

“What did you just say?” Ethan asked me calmly.

“I can’t keep doing this,” I responded. My voice breaks as I speak. It’s just a mess; maybe a break will help, maybe having some time away from each other could help us repair the relationship that we’ve both broken. “I can’t do this anymore,” I say again; more composed than before.

“Case-”

“No,” I interrupt, “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be! We’re not meant to constantly be at each other’s throats, Ethan! I love you but I can’t keep fighting with you. I think we should go on a break. We should have some time alone before we ruin this relationship for good.”

I don’t say anything else or give Ethan a chance to say anything as I grab my car keys and head out- I need space.

I yank my car door open and then slam it shut. After putting the keys into the ignition I roughly backed the car out of the driveway onto the road. I don’t have a destination in mind. Taking a long drive seems like a good idea to help clear my mind; figure out what I’m doing and then come up with a solution on how to fix this.

It feels like I’ve just made an unthought out and hasty decision. Is there a way to fix this? Can I fix this?

The more I think over what happened; what’s been happening the more my eyes begin to well. Tears are falling down my already tear stained cheeks from my irritated, red eyes. My phone is sitting on the passenger seat beside me. It’s gone off a couple times with calls and texts from Ethan asking that I come home and talk things out no doubt. My vision is clouded by the tears that only make it harder to maneuver the car around the roads twists and turns.

I briefly turn my eyes away from the road and wiped them with my sleeve. When I turn them back onto the road I'm now coming up to an intersection. The light is green so I continue on my way, my eyes once again being disrupted by the tears welling in them. Just as I’m approaching the middle of the intersection I see a pair of headlights in my peripheral vision as another car recklessly ploughs into the intersection. My heart pounds in my chest as I slam my foot down onto the break but like I had already thought the car doesn’t stop in time before I reach the middle and so the reckless driver crashes into my car. I hear the crunch of metal as the car collides with mine before my entire world goes black.

(Ethan’s POV)

It’s been a couple hours since Casey stormed out of the house. I’ve tried to call her a couple of times, I know she doesn’t want to talk but I just need to know she’s okay. I’m laying on the couch trying to get some sleep but I can’t seem to drift off. I’m worried about her, every attempted call went straight to voicemail. I have a horrible gut feeling that something is wrong and I can’t shake it. I’ve got work in the morning but I can’t sleep until I at least know she’s alright.

I’m just starting to drift off when my phone ringing pulls me out of my near slumber. I sit up and rub my tired eyes and reach for my phone that’s sitting on the coffee table.

A feeling of pure dread washes over me when I see the caller ID- Harper Emery. Why the hell is she calling at this time of night? It makes no sense to me. We’re friends, we talk occasionally but she never calls me in the middle of the night. The feeling that something is wrong only intensifies as I answer the call.

“Harper?”

“Hello Ethan,” she responds. I sit myself up straight; I know her well by now, I can tell by her tone of voice that something is amiss.

“What’s going on?” I ask, the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach only growing.

Harper took in a deep breath on the other end, “You need to come to the hospital. Casey was brought in an hour ago...It’s not looking good Ethan...”

****

It’s hard not to think over last night. I’ve never felt anything like that when I got the call from Harper. I’ve never been that terrified.

Last night was stupid, the argument that I don’t even remember what it was about in the first place was stupid. Letting her go was a moronic move on my part; If I had tried to get her to stay then we wouldn’t be in this situation we’re now in. Letting her walk out that door will always be something I was forever regret, especially if she doesn’t recover from this.

Casey’s hand is still clamped in my own. My eyes have started to well up again. I see people like this sometimes daily but they’re people that I don’t know..this is so different. It’s heartbreaking to see the woman that I completely adore in this state. I know that every abrasion and bruise that is covering her beautiful face will heal, that every broken bone will knit back together but that doesn’t mean anything to me right now. I don’t care. All I want is Casey to be okay now.

Harper is optimistic, that's something I guess. She’s hardly ever wrong, however, that doesn’t really help me right now.

I clear my throat and wipe at my teary eyes, “I love you.” My voice wavers, “I know that I don’t tell you that enough but I do. I really love you and I can’t-” My heart starts pounding in my chest; I’m beginning to panic just thinking about losing her. I don’t think I could survive losing her. “You’re going to wake up and I’ll be here when you do.” I give her hand a little squeeze, “Wake up, Rookie.”

#open heart #soheila-1996 writes #dr ethan ramsey #open heart 2 #choices open heart #choices open heart 2 #open heart secon #open heart fanfic #open heart fanfiction #ethan open heart #ethan ramsey #dr ethan jonah ramsey #ethan x mc #dr ethan ramsey x mc #tw: coma #tw: car accident

107 notes · View notes

miss-smrxtiee · 4 years

Text

-Anger of the Heart-

——————————-

Apart of the July challenge!

@julychoiceschallenge hosted by @samgtt700 ! 💖

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Eliana Valentine)

Book: Open heart (2)

Summary: Eliana and Ethan’s relationship as co workers has never been easy, but when Eliana’s anger reaches its peak, with their relationship take a turn for the worse or better?

Other tags: @soheila-1996 @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @samgtt700

Prompt: Day 5- Anger

Authors note: I’ve been drafting and Editing this for awhile so I hope you do enjoy! This is my first Open Heart fic to tie myself over for the Hiatus! Any feedback and support is greatly appreciated! 💗💖💕

————————————————————

It’s 6:15 am and Eliana’s brain is barley functioning. “I’m never going to get used to waking up and being here before 6:30..” she groaned, her plate was full and things just seemed to be getting harder and more stressful by the minute. Dr. Ramsey’s temper didn’t help.. the other day he threw a patients chart at her. Yeah. A patients chart.

Nothing seemed to be going well for her... first the hospital’s jeopardy for bankruptcy, then her friends problems she’s been trying to consul, then there’s June being weird, also that thing with Aurora. The list went on and on in her head as she walked the busy halls of Edenbrook to the diagnostic room for her meeting with her team, she already stopped by to give her intern the work load for the day. “At least one things is going smoothly..” she thought to herself as she reached the door to the office.

She opened the door to find Ethan with his head in a pile of paperwork. He tilts his head up to find Eliana putting her things down on her desk area in the corner. “Good morning.” She greeted.

“Hm.” Ethan replied still upset at the countless times Eliana had disobeyed Ethan’s orders despite his protests. Eliana sighs. “You’re still giving me the silent treatment? You know that things for children right?” She states with a smirk.

“If anyone’s the child here that would be you miss bossy pants.” He commented angrily.

“I’m pretty sure the whole ‘miss bossy pants” is a thing kids says to” she says while glaring at him. Things with her mentor where not going well...

“I’m pretty fed up with you and your games, rookie.” He continues his intense gaze at the doctor.

“Oh, my deepest and sincerest apologies for trying to save the lives of my paitents and saving all of us from loosing our jobs.” She says in a sarcastic tone.

“I’ve told you, theres not a lot we can do! We have to wait until this blows over!” Ethan was now raising his tone...

“I’m not gonna stand back and watch this place go to hell Ethan! Baz, June, and myself are working our asses off to keep this place stable and to save the lives of the people that need us! You’ve done nothing but tare us down this whole time!”

Ethan’s eyes go wide at her advancement in the argument but before he could strike back. Baz and June March into the room.

“Jeez you two, get a room, it’s 6:45 and I can already hear you from down the hallway.” Baz says with a yawn following suit.

“You two are so in love it’s pretty disgusting..” June says with a smirk.

“Hey!” Both Ethan and Eliana say at heir accusations and comments but before thy could continue their protests, June and Baz have already sat down at the conference room table.

June speaks first. “You both really need to set this stupid stuff aside, I get it’s scary right now with all the crap going on, but you to are really annoying and I’m about to either throw one of you out the window, or myself.”

This time everyone’s laughing, even Ethan lets out a chuckle.

They both eye each other warily before Eliana speaks up. “Truce?” Eliana says while holding out her hand.

“You wanna shake on it?” Ethan says staring at her hand. “Well duh, how else am i supposed to remind you about this every time you try and throw a paitents chart at me?!” Eliana says with a giggle.

Ethan hesitates for a moment before their hands clasp together and they both give a firm shake. “Truce” Ethan replies.

“Great, now that that’s settled, let get down to business ladies and gents!” Baz says from his seat.

“Fine with me” Ethan says. And with that, the four co workers settle down and somehow make it through their days of respective work.

At the end of the day, Baz and June are walking out of the hospital after their shifts. “Do you think there gonna actually stop fighting?” Baz asks.

“Nah, I’d give it 30 minutes after we leave.” June responds without care in her voice...

And with that, the pair exited the building to leave the other two to their bickering..

————————-

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. This was not my favorite fic to write but I still enjoyed writing so any support is appreciated 💗💖

Random tags: idk

@soheila-1996 @n-whas @fluffy-marshmallow-heart

33 notes · View notes

wackydrabbles · 4 years

Text

Wacky Drabbles - Prompt 49

On June 28, 2020, a challenge was issued to write a 1,000-word or less wacky drabble using the prompt: I dare you.

So many writes accepted the dare this week. Check out their stories below.

@bebepac - JUMP (For My Love)

@loveellamae - I’ll Never Love Again part 3

@glaimtruelovealways - The Heart of Nerve. Chapter 3, Insights; Blindsided Chapter 4, Answers; Fight For The Crowned Princess. Part 3, Fate; The Heart Of Nerve. Chapter 4, Payback

@ao719 - Achates

@drethanramslay - The one in which she gets clowned

@dcbbw - The Visit

@lucy-268 - Chance Encounter

@soheila-1996 - Fate

@utterlyinevitable - If The World Was Ending Would You Love Somebody?

@storyofmychoices - Sea Lions, Tiger Sharks, and Penguins, oh, my!

@burnsoslow - AMU 11: We’ll Mix the Hip-Hop Reggae

@openheart12 - Fanfic, Kryce, and Meth. Oh My!

@ravenpuff02 - Coffee Meets Bagel Pt. 10

@losingbraincellseveryday - TTCT Forget the Past

#wackydrabbles-weekly-summary #wacky drabbles

27 notes · View notes

bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

I’ve remained mostly silent regarding the theft of @loveellamae story, lending my love and support behind the scenes but the SHEER AUDACITY of going to @openheart12 and accusing @loveellamae of stealing @soheila-1996 story.

It is perfectly acceptable to defend your friends, but if they have done something wrong they need to be held accountable. You don’t get to go and VICTIM BLAME in defense of your friend!

The way this has all been handled by @soheila-1996 is quite appalling. First she tries to deny and defend herself to @loveellamae and when she finally “apologizes” it leaves you feeling as angry as you were in the beginning.

An apology is owning up to your wrongdoing and in this case removing the copied work. And apology IS NOT defending yourself or deflecting blame to the wronged party. “I’m sorry you feel that way” IS NOT an apology.

@soheila-1996 did absolutely nothing to address the situation until after @loveellamae posted about it this morning.

If you were truly sorry you would remove your fic, not the “apology post”.

And to the part about turning off anon, you didn’t turn it off because you were receiving hate, you turned it off because you are a coward who is hiding and hoping this will just blow off and you can just keep writing in peace. But this won’t blow away, people will stop reading you, and those who continue to read you will do so with a fine tooth comb to make sure you aren’t still copying from other writers.

How do I know she didn’t receive hate? Well I don’t 100% know, but I do know that two of them were not hate in any sense because I sent them myself yesterday when @loveellamae told me what happened. I have a screenshot of the first THAT NEVER POSTED

The second one, also not posted was something along the lines of “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery does not mean you can copy someone else’s work”

Neither of those were hate, just pointing out what she did and instead of posting and replying, instead of owning up to what she did she cowers behind her computer and sends her “friends” to accuse @loveellamae of stealing from her.

@soheila-1996 you owe @loveellamae a REAL apology. You also need to remove the fic. Try owning up to what you did, or is that too hard for you to actually fathom?

#this is all i have to say on this #what you did was wrong and you know it was #ella im sorry people are horrible and wont own up to their own shortcomings but please please please dont stop writing #stealing is not okay #e goes off #it could have been so much worse #i contained my rage #i did not reread this so there may be horrible horrible errors #long post

26 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

Wake up, Rookie- Part two

Paring: Ethan x MC

Warnings: Traumatic brain injury/ coma, mention of car accident and drink driving.

Word count: 2,113

Catch up here

Tags: @dulceghernandez @rookie-ramsey @choicesandanimeruleme @aylamwrites @ethansmommyissues @schnitzelbutterfingers @therookie @lilyvalentine @sitihania @cordoniaqueensworld @eramsey28

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :) All characters belong to Pixelberry

(Ethan’s POV)

Who knew that one phone call could change everything?

One call could change your entire world?

It’s now the next evening. Time passes so slowly in here. A minute feels like an eternity in this place. It’s hardly any wonder why people become so antsy after being here for sometime.

This entire situation is making me see this place differently. I now understand why people hate this place. I’d never thought that I would come to hate it but I guess I was wrong.

If I could turn back time and make her stay, I would. I’d do anything to change it so we’re not in the situation we’re now in.

Casey’s friends have all stopped by; they’re just as equally concerned as I am. I wish I could change it but I can’t. Everyone is being so kind and empathetic because they don’t know that it’s my fault.

Her parents are on the way and they’ve contacted her brother. Calling her parents was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do because I can’t tell them with full certainty that she’s going to be okay. I wish I could but I can’t.

The driver that crashed into her car was drunk, he got away completely unscathed. The audacity that man had to get drunk, crash into her then just drive off is unbelievable. The police pulled him over shortly after the accident for running multiple red lights- at least they got him. That’s something but means very little to me right now.

I wish it was him.

The hard thing is that I’m not even sure she’d want me here.

My mind keeps wandering to the worst case scenarios. A traumatic brain injury isn’t something people quickly recover from; if they recover at all. When- if she wakes up she’ll have possibly months of rehabilitation in front of her. Apparently, the car had rolled a couple times before stopping, that’s pretty obvious by the state the rest of her body is in.

I turn to the door when I hear a knock. Soon Abigail, Casey’s mother, strolls in. I'm surprised that her dad isn’t behind her. I gently place Casey’s hand down onto the bed and then stand to greet her mother. Abigail pulls me into a hug that I soon return.

“How’s she doing?” she asks as she pulls away.

“She’s er…” I turn around to briefly look at her lying unmoving. “She’s doing well considering. Harper operated on her last night to relieve some of the pressure on her brain-”

“Brain surgery?” She interrupts. I simply nod. From my point of view it's terrifying even though I know why it needed to be done but I can't imagine what it’s like for her. I can’t imagine how I would feel If it was my child. “But she’s okay?”

“Yeah. Like I said, she’s doing really well. She’s stable.” Abigail nods and walks over to Casey’s bed- Again, I can’t begin to imagine how this feels for her. Her hand hovers over Casey’s hand laying lifeless. She goes to touch her but decides against it.

“You can touch her,” I tell her, “Just be careful that you don’t move anything.” I moved to stand beside her as she picked up her daughter’s hand. We both stay in silence for a little while as she continues to examine her daughter’s battered appearance.

“I didn’t think she was going to look like this,” she whispers. She turns around to face me, still gripping Casey’s hand. “When you told me- I didn’t think-”

“I know,” I nod and place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Anthony is at the hotel,” she tells me. I was wondering where he was. I know that Casey and her dad are as thick as thieves.

“I know. You don’t have to stay at a hotel. You and Anthony can come and stay at our house, Casey would want you to.”

“He couldn’t...He just couldn’t come and see her like this,” She explains. I understand how she’s feeling. I understand Anthony's hesitation to come and see her; I had the same feeling when I arrived at the hospital the other day after speaking to Harper.

***

After the phone call from Harper, I rushed to the hospital. Going 20 over the required speed limit but I just need to get to her and the roads are like a ghost town anyway. As soon as I reached Edenbrook, I quickly parked my car, then burst through the ER doors. Tears are streaming down my cheeks but I don’t care- there are far more important things to be worrying about than whoever sees me crying.

My eyes are wandering frantically around the ER; Harper had told me that she would meet me here but I don’t see her anywhere.

I feel sick.

“Dr Ramsey.” I turn around at the sound of my name being called. I’m faced with a young, nervous looking woman- a nurse I’m able to tell by her scrubs. “Come with me.” She walks towards the elevator and so I follow, assuming that she’s taking me to wherever Harper is. As soon as we leave the elevator- I soon realise we’re on the floor where the ICU is located, we round a corner and bump into Harper.

“Thank you, Jen,” Harper said, smiling warmly at the woman. “I can take it from here.” With that Jen takes her leave.

“What’s going on?” I ask, cutting to the chase.

“Come with me.” Harper leads me down a hallway and into a small, unoccupied meeting room that contains a small table and a few chairs. Harper gestures to a chair but I continue to stand. Harper turns around to face me, leaning back against the table.

“Harper...please just tell me what’s going on. Is she okay?” I plead. I’ve already figured out that she’s not based on the fact we’re in an ICU meeting room and Harper has never been someone to exaggerate. I know If it wasn’t bad, Harper would’ve just told me on the phone but she didn't and now I’m panicking.

“She’s critical, Ethan,” Harper tells me. My heart sinks right down into my stomach. It’s what I expected if I’m being honest but… “ She was taken immediately to CT when she arrived, there is considerable swelling on her brain. Ortho is coming down shortly to make sure all the broken bones have been set correctly. As you can probably imagine, she’s got quite a few of them. She has a compound fracture in her right leg, a few hairline fractures in her right foot and the left leg is basically in the same state, she’s also broken her left femur, she’s broken her right wrist too and has a fair few cuts and bursaries all of and has a seat belt burn across her chest. None of the breaks have caused any problem with circulation so that’s something. Obviously the head injury is the one we're most concerned about. She is unresponsive and so far has had no response to any stimuli. We’ve intubated her and she is on a ventilator now.”

My heart just continues to sink as Harper lists off her injuries. My knees threaten to buckle from beneath me but I hold myself up. “Just...Just tell me she’s going to be okay,” I beg her. I know that she can’t tell me that but I just...I need her to. I need a little smidge of hope that everything is going to be okay.

Harper looks down at the floor then back up to me. She gives me a sad smile, “Ethan, I wish I could but you know I can’t.”

A tear slips down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I let out shaky a breath, sniffling. “What do I- Harper, what do I do now? I don’t know what to do.”

Harper steps forward and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You just wait. She’s a fighter; give her a chance. Do you want to go and see her?”

My eyes begin to tear up again. “I can’t,” I say shaking my head. “I can’t I- I can’t see her like that, Harper.”

Harper gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze, “You can. You have to.”

I hesitantly nod. Harper leads me out of the room and down another hallway until we reach her room. I go to open the door but then I think back over what Harper just told me about her condition and then I let go of the door handle; shaking my head.

I can’t.

I just can’t.

“She needs you.” If only she knew that the reason she’s laying in that bed to begin with is my fault. I shake my head; she doesn’t need me. “She really needs you right now.

Against my better judgement, I push the door open. I stand frozen in the doorway and let out a loud, uncontrolled sob. Even my imagination hadn’t managed to conjure up something this bad.

Even my nightmares aren’t in any way shape or form this bad.

***

The room is otherwise silent except for the machines surrounding Casey’s bed and the clock ticking on the far wall; Abigail is sitting beside me silently. Neither of us know what to say to each other. Is there anything we can say?

It’s been nearly two days and I don’t think I’m ever going to be okay or get used to seeing her like this. I’ve had moments when I’ve wanted to walk away and not come back because it’s hard. It’s too hard to see her this way. It's frightening how she was okay one minute and then she’s like this the next. It’s terrifying how quickly things can go wrong.

The silence with the exception of the machines is deafening. How anyone else in my position is able to keep their sanity intact is beyond me right now. Considering the circumstances it’s probably not completely unacceptable to lose my shit but I don’t really want my breakdown to be hospital gossip; which without a shadow of a doubt, it would certainly become.

I choose to close my eyes for a second but I immediately open them again once her heart rate monitor begins to incessant beep as if it’s a truck reversing. I get to my feet, accidentally causing the chair to topple over in the process.

“What’s happening?!” Casey’s mother asks me as the room is filled with an ear piercing long string of sound as Casey goes into cardiac arrest.

Shit!

I know what I need to do but I’m frozen in place. I can’t move, i can’t think, I can’t act in an attempt to save her life. My girlfriend's life.

Soon the crash team rush into the room in a flurry of colours, sounds and strategic, practised movements.

In the distance I vaguely hear Abigail arguing with someone that’s telling her to leave. I don’t move; I just watch in horror as one of them is pushing down on her chest as the team continues their resuscitation efforts, another is standing at the head of Casey’s bed with a bag valve mask connected to the end of the already placed intubation tube. From where I’m standing I’m able to hear a crack as one of her ribs snaps. I wince and look away to see Harper and Naveen standing in front of me, both trying to get my attention.

“Ethan, leave. Now,” Harper tells me. I shake my head in defiance, I don’t want to leave, I need to be in here. I want to know what they’re doing to her. I need to know if their attempts work. I don’t want to hear it from somebody else if, god forbid, they don’t manage to bring her back.

I turn away from Harper and Naveen and back to Casey. I flinch when her body arches off the bed as they shock her. I feel someone, Naveen probably, place a hand on my shoulder. “Ethan, come on. You don’t need to see this.”

I still make no attempt to move; I’m still frozen in place. Naveen and Harper essentially drag me out of the room. They both move to stand in front of Casey’s room to prevent me going back in. I move away from them when I realise that they’re not going to move. I move to the wall beside the door and slide down it and buried my face into my hands. I don’t care who sees this. I just need her to be okay. If she’s not; I’m not sure I will survive it.

#open heart #open heart fanfiction #open heart fanfic #ethan ramsey fanfiction #ethan ramsey fanfic #dr ethan ramsey x mc #dr ethan ramsey fanfic #dr ethan ramsey #dr ethan jonah ramsey #open heart 2 #choices open heart #choices open heart 2 fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices oh fanfic #soheila-1996 writes

87 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

Wake up, Rookie- Part five (final chapter)

Paring: Ethan x F!MC

Word count: 3,492

Warnings: major character death 😭

A/N: I’m posting an alternative ending tomorrow!

Catch up here

Tags: @dulceghernandez @rookie-ramsey @choicesandanimeruleme @aylamwrites @ethansmommyissues @schnitzelbutterfingers @therookie @lilyvalentine @sitihania @cordoniaqueensworld @eramsey28 @lucy-268 @swimmingauthordreamerbonk @utterlyinevitable

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :) All characters belong to Pixelberry

(Ethan’s POV)

We’re now nearly two weeks into this nightmare and nothing has changed. I’m back at work, somewhat. I can hardly concentrate when I’m away from her and not sleeping isn’t helping either. All I’ve been doing is going to my office and looking over some notes and doing paperwork- it’s a distraction. The problem is it doesn’t actually distract me. My thoughts, my heart is on a completely different floor and It’s all I can think about. There’s no distracting myself from this. Even when I’m sometimes able to get some sleep, seeing her in that bed, in that state always plagues my dreams. Every day is like another painful blow when nothing happens. When she makes no progress and therefore gives no indication that she’s recovering from this.

I drop the pen in my hand back down onto the desk. I can’t sit here and pretend that everything is okay when it really isn’t. This place once felt like my home in a way. My work, this place meant the world to me and now I can’t stand the sight of it. I hate being here but when I go home, not that I’ve been back to the house much, I’m surrounded by even more things that remind me of Casey. Remind me of that night. I’ve made a fair few mistakes in my time but letting her walk out will always be the thing I regret the most. This whole, heartbreaking ordeal is making me slowly lose my sanity. I like solving problems, I like fixing things and I just can’t fix this. There is nothing I can do to fix this.

I stand up from my desk after placing all the papers into a neat pile then leave my office. There’s no point being in here since I’m seemingly incapable of thinking about anything else. Naveen has said I could take as much time as I need off of work. I thought that helping someone else would distract me but It doesn’t. It just reminds me of the one person I want to help more than anything but I can’t. I lock my office door as I leave and make my way to the nearest elevator.

When I reach Casey’s room Abigail is just walking out. We quickly exchange pleasantries and she tells me she’s heading outside to get some fresh air and to meet Anthony. Her dad hasn’t really been here all the much, I understand though, It’s hard seeing someone you love like this.

Just as I sit down, someone knocks on the door and Harper peeks her head in. The look on her face makes me immediately start to panic. I can read that woman like a book and sometimes is wrong.

“We need to talk.”

***

I’m surprised to see Abigail and Anthony already sitting around the table in the board room Harper has just brought me to. “Take a seat,” Harper says, gesturing to the vacated seats that stood around the large oval table.

Somethings wrong. Something feels off, I conclude as I sit beside Abigail. Harper sits opposite us all. This is bad- I can feel it. I’ve had that same look on my face when I’ve told people that their loved ones aren’t going to recover.

Harper reverts her gaze from us and looks down at, what I presume are Casey’s notes, in front of her. “There’s no easy way to tell you this,” She begins. “As you know Casey suffered a severe head injury-”

“Can you just say whatever it is?” I interrupt, “Just- just stop beating around the bush, Harper. Just say it.”

“Casey’s brain dead,” She blurts out with no preamble. That’s what I wanted and asked for after all. How am I supposed to react to this? I don’t know. I- She can’t be. No…

I turn to look at Abigail and Anthony- they don’t seem that surprised which confuses me to say the least. “W-When-?” I stutter and turn back to harper, “When did you-? Why-?”

“Abigail asked me my opinion on whether Casey would recover or not. I gave my opinion, we ran tests-”

“When?” I interrupt.

“Last week,” she explained.

“How long have you known this, Harper? When did you start looking into this, start running tests? What tests have you run? And why the fuck did nobody tell me?!”

“Ethan-” Harper starts but is promptly cut off by Abigail. She turns to me and takes my hand.

“We- I wanted to make sure of everything before we told you, Ethan. It was my decision so blame me and not Harper”

I just can’t deal with this right now. I- I just can’t. I can feel myself starting to panic. I pull my hand out of Abigail’s grip and get up to my feet, tipping the chair over in the process.

“Ethan, come back!” Harper calls after me as I storm out of the board room and back towards Casey’s room. This isn’t real.

So much for the ‘don’t give up on her just yet’ speech Harper gave me the other day.

No, this-this can’t be happening. I refuse to believe this is really happening. This is just some sick joke, right? A nightmare. This isn’t real.

“Ethan stop.” Harper manages to catch up to me and grabs my arm to pull me back. “Just stop.”

I stop trying to get away from her and turn to face her. I can feel the tiny tear droplets falling down my cheeks. “Ethan…”

“Please, please tell me you’ve made a mistake. Please, Harper,” I beg her but the look on her face is telling me that no mistake was made and I lose it. I open the floodgates and I don’t think that I’m ever going to be able to close them again. Not without her.

“I’m sorry, Ethan.”

I stifled and wipe my eyes. “When are you going to do it?” I ask, referring to turning off life support. I know that’s what is coming next. I can’t do this. I can’t. We’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to marry her, I want to have kids with her one day….I want to spend the rest of my days with her by my side, loving her and making more memories together. I want...no I need her. I need Casey.

Harper places a hand on my shoulder, “That’s down to you and her parents. No one is going to rush you to do this, okay?” I nod in response. “Would you like me to tell her friends?”

“No, I should do it,” I insisted, “It should come from me.”

*** It’s now a couple of hours later and I have in no way shape or form, accepted this. I will never ever be able to come to terms with this. This is...this isn’t fair for anyone. Casey isn’t even thirty yet. She’s only two months off her birthday. She is incredibly young and she’s essentially lost her life because of a stupid argument, a stupid accident. If that guy wasn’t in custody...I’m not sure what I would do. I want to kill him.

Harper showed me the tests results for everything. Both of her pupils are unreactive to light, she’s unresponsive to any sort of stimuli, cold water has been inserted in each ear, which would normally provoke a reaction, but nothing happened, they turned the ventilator off and she couldn’t breathe on her own. A whole plethora of tests have been preformed and the reaction, or rather the lack of a reaction, all points to being... brain dead.

What really fucking bothers me is A: nobody told me, B: Everyone let me think that there was a possibility that everything was going to be fine. They all allowed me to sit beside my brain dead girlfriend and make plans for the future. C: Keeping her alive- as much as I don’t want to say that in all technicality she’s dead. Is it not cruel to keep someone alive for the sake of it? She’s not going to recover from this. She’s not going to be able to be a mom one day like she’s always wanted. She’s never going to get to do all things she’s always wanted to do. Keeping her alive is cruel when there’s no possibility of her recovering.

Anthony, Abigail, and I talked things over. I still don’t understand why they thought not telling me was the right thing to do but we all agreed that keeping her here for the sake of it is cruel and she doesn’t deserve that. She doesn’t deserve any of this actually but life just isn’t fair, is it? Bad things happen to good people. We all made the decision to turn off life support today.

I’m standing in my office with all of Casey’s best friends- people she saw as family. I can see the unease on everyone’s faces. They’re all scared and that’s painfully obvious. How do I tell them that Casey isn’t going to get through this?

“What’s going on?” Bryce asks, not wanting to beat around the bush. This is harder than I thought it was going to be.

I straighten my posture and clear my throat. I don’t want to break down in front of them. I can’t. “I’m not really sure how to tell you all this,” I start. I’ve started and now I’m not sure how to continue. I don’t know what to say.

“Ethan?” Jackie questions.

“Casey-” This was something I never thought I’d have to do. I’ve had conversations like this with people so many times in my career but I never thought the person that I would be talking about never recovering would be the love of my life. “Casey isn’t going to recover,” I state matter of factly. I know that I must look cold and desensitised to them but this is the only way to do this and not completely break down.

“What?” Elijah asks. I know they’re all probably hoping the same thing I was earlier. That they’ve heard it wrong. Jackie and Bryce stand in complete shock and Sienna looks as if she’s on the verge of tears, actually, they all do.

I go through everything with them. All the test results and everything and answer any questions any of them have. As I suspected, they all ask to go and see her….to say goodbye to her.

***

(Bryce’s POV)

I’m sitting beside Casey’s bed, her hand in mine. I’ve seen her multiple times since she was admitted but this is the first time seeing her and knowing that she’s never, ever going to wake up. That I’m never going to get my friend back.

“Who am I going to mess around with now? Eh?” My eyes begin to tear up. God, she’s my best friend. I think overall the hilarious pranks we’ve pulled together over the years and all the other amazing, funny times we’ve spent together.

Casey is one of the kindest people that I’ve ever met. She is one of the best people that I’ve ever met. She’s not only insanely smart, but she’s also intuitive, kind, compassionate, she doesn’t judge people on their past but on rather who they are now. She even managed to overlook the fact that my entire family is literal criminals. It’s a skill many people don’t have. I don’t think any amount of words assorted into combination can describe how much I’m going to miss her. Casey Valentine is my best friend and she made the world a better place.

I give her hand a small squeeze as I get to my feet. I want to spend all day with her but there are other people who need to come and say goodbye. I lean over a place a kiss on her forehead. “Bye Case.”

***

(Ethan’s POV)

I stand just outside Casey’s room. Her friends have all had a little time with her and have all been able to say goodbye. I’m able to see Anthony and Abigail inside as they completely break down. I’m sure that they feel 100x worse than I do right now. That’s they’re a child. Abigail will never be able to help her pick out a dress for her wedding day, Antony will never be able to walk his daughter down the aisle and give her away. They are going to miss out on everything. A parent should never lose a child. It’s sadly meant to be the other way around.

It’s a little while later when the heartbroken parents vacate their daughter’s room and allow me to go and say my goodbyes. I’m looking at her but I’m not seeing her...I don’t know how to explain this feeling. She’s in all technicality dead, she’s brain dead, it’s just her body laying on that bed. She’s not there anymore, she’s just a shell, and that kills me. I wish there was something that I could do. I wish I could fix this, find some sort of loophole or something but I can’t.

I take a seat and pick up her lifeless hand to hold in mine. I’ve been wishing that she’d squeeze my hand back for nearly two weeks but that’s never going to happen now. I’m never going to get to see her open those beautiful eyes again. Casey was my future and now I don’t know what the future holds or what I’m going to do. I don’t know how or if I’m ever going to be able to move on from this.

“I don’t really know how I’m supposed to say everything that I want to say to you. Casey I-” My voice cracks. I don’t know why talking to her is making me feel better, logically. I know that she can’t hear me but talking to her and holding her hand does help me. It helps me and arguably I’m the reason we’re where we are now. “There are so many things that I want to say, Case. There are so many things that I wanted to do with you but I guess Life had other plans. I’m sorry. I was supposed to protect you and I’m sorry that I couldn’t. I’m sorry for everything.” Why is this happening? This isn’t fair. “I love you and I don’t think- I know that I’m never going to love anyone half as much as I love you. Goodbye, Rookie.”

***

It’s time…

Casey’s room is full. I’m sitting on one side of her, her hand still in mine both her parents on her opposite side, both of them clinging on to their daughter’s free hand. Bryce, sienna, and Jackie as standing around the outskirts of the room, and Elijah is sitting just beside me in his chair. Harper and Naveen are stood beside the ventilator. Just outside, June, Baz, Ines, and Zaid are stood.

“Are you ready?” Harper asks us all. I look up and give Harper a nod. She gives me a sad, small smile before switching the ventilator off. It beeps as she does so and a loud puff of air fills the room as she disconnects it from the intubation tube down Casey’s throat.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to look at Harper the same way again. Not after this.

The heart monitor begins to incessantly beep. I can’t help but to still hope that some miracle happens and she takes a breath but any hope of that happening is dashed away when she flatlines. The room is filled with a loud, piercing sound that I’m sure is going to haunt my dreams forever. Some try to hold in their sobs but ultimately fail. Naveen switches the monitor off and the sound is replaced with everyone’s cries. Everyone’s but mine.

This is a feeling I’ve never felt before. I feel..empty, lost. Casey Valentine is- was the little glimmer at the end of the long, dark, suffocating tunnel. When I started to lose myself, Casey would be there to guide me out safely when it felt like the walls are caving in on me. She was everything, my everything and now I have nothing.

Today Edenbrook lost not only an amazing doctor but one of the kindest human beings on this fucked up planet.

***

It’s the funeral today. The day that I been dreading since Casey...Since Casey died a little over a week ago.

This is the first time I’ve come back to our house. Everywhere, everything reminds me of her and it’s just too painful. It hurts too much. Since Casey...Since she died I’ve been staying with Naveen. He had offered to come and pick up my suit I’m wearing to go to the funeral today but I declined. I’m going to need to come back at some point. It’s my home even though it feels more like hell now, much like Edenbrook.

Nothing is ever going to be the same ever again. Not without her. Not without Casey.

I push the front door open and step inside. The memory of coming to view this house for the first time flashes in my mind. The first time we walked into our new home to start a new chapter together. Tears start to sting my eyes as I head to the staircase. I pass by the living room and once again, flashes of the meaningless but also amazing moments in between goes rushing by. I peel my gaze away from that room and to the front door. I remember that night, I remember hearing the door slam when Casey stormed out and her engine coming to life as she sped off.

I shake my head, trying to rid the memory from my mind. It still feels like it’s my fault. I let her walk out. I make my way up the staircase and into our bedroom. I honestly don’t think I’m going to be able to live here again, not without being bombarded with memories of her.

I’m cautious of taking too long since Naveen is sitting outside in his car waiting for me but...coming here is hard but nice, helpful in away. This was our home. This was where we spent time together, creating new memories together. This was where we were supposed to raise our children one day. This was where I was supposed to carry my new bride in to. The next chapter of our life together was being written here. I quickly retrieve the suit from my closet and head out of the house.

***

The service was nice. Everyone was there, her family, all her friends, even some old patients of hers turned to up to pay their respects to the doctor who saved their lives. All in all, it was the send-off that Casey Valentine deserved but a goodbye that happened way too soon than It should have.

I thought that saying goodbye, having a funeral, would give me some sort of closure but it hasn’t. I don’t see this ever getting easier. I made the executive decision to come and stay at the house tonight. I need to be on my own and I need to get used to being here again.

I’m sitting on the couch, a beer bottle in one hand, and a photo album Casey had put together a long time ago in the other. Drinking isn’t going to fix this I know that logically but It’s pretty tempting right now.

From where I am I can hear someone put a key in the lock and open the front door. There’s only one other person who has a key to this house. I don’t turn to look up as they enter..

“Hello, Ethan.” That’s not who’s supposed to me here. I turn around to see Harper instead of Naveen who I assumed was here. I’m confused as to why she’s here. We haven’t really spoken since Casey’s death. It too hard. Look at her reminds me of the worst time in my life.

“It’s never going to go away, is it?” I ask as I look back down at the picture of Casey I’ve been staring at for some time now.

“Ethan, it’s only been a week. You just need to-”

“Don’t say I need to give it time,” I interrupt. “No amount of time will fix this. No amount of time will bring her back, now will it?!” I snap at her.

Harper doesn’t say anything as she sits herself down beside me. A Little bit of time goes by as I think over everything and all the emotions I’ve held back today and when she died comes bubbling to the surface. My head ends up leaning against Harper’s shoulder as she slings and arm around me. I finally feel able to cry.

“It’s okay, Ethan. I’m here. For as long as you need me to be I’ll be here.”

65 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

Wake up, Rookie- Part Four

Paring: Ethan x F!MC

Warnings: Coma.

Word count: 2,115

Catch up here

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :) All characters belong to Pixelberry

(Harper’s POV)

I just reach the elevator when Naveen catches up with me. I turn around to face him after pressing the button as he lightly grasps my arm.

“Where are you going?”

“To find Ethan,” I explain with a sigh. “He’s not picking up his phone and he needs to know what’s going on.”

“Okay, I’ll stay with Abigail,” Naveen says, I nod in agreement as he takes off towards her room and I wait for the elevator. On the way to the exit, I bump into Dr. Lahela.

“Have you seen Dr. Ramsey?” I ask.

Bryce nods his head, “Yeah, he er...he just...he’s just outside,” He says, obviously deciding against whatever he was about to tell me.

“What is it?”

Bryce sighs, “I’m not trying to snitch on him or anything but he,,, Ethan just had a panic attack over Casey. She apparently-”

“I know,” I say cutting him off.

“Is she okay?” He pleads.

“She’s okay,” I nod, “I’ll go and deal with Ethan. Thank you for telling me about it,” With that, Bryce heads over to the elevator and I walk outside. Once outside, I’m able to see Ethan sitting alone on the bench, still looking rather distressed.

I sigh and walk over to the broken man.

I take a seat beside him. “She’s sable,” I tell him straight away, “ I see him visibly relax, “She’s okay. Abigail and Naveen are with her now,” I continue, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ethan turns to look at me and gives me a nod. I can see that he doesn’t want to talk so we just sit in a comfortable silence for a little while.

I can’t help but to think back to the ring. I wonder if he’s mentioned it to Naveen. He’s never talked about getting married but Ethan never really talks much about his personal life anyway so I’m not that surprised. He does love her though; anyone can see that. Now we’re in natural light it’s easier to see how tired he looks, how broken he looks. I’m not sure how he thinks that not looking after himself is going to help Casey. She wouldn’t want him to be getting so overwhelmed to the point of a panic attack.

“Are you okay?” I ask, I’m not sure why though. It’s obvious that he’s not but it just seems like the right thing to do.

“Honestly?” I nod, “No.” He turns to me as his eyes begin to well up again. “I’m really not, Harper. I don’t….I just don’t know what to do.”

“No one knows what to do in this situation, Ethan,” I reassure, “What you need to do now is go home, shower, sleep, eat. When was the last time you had something to eat?” He shrugs. “Ethan,” I sigh, “You need to look after yourself. She wouldn’t want you not taking of yourself.”

“She’s in a coma, Harper, she doesn’t want anything. She’s completely unaware of everything going on around her,” He snaps. I don’t take it personally though. He’s going through a lot and sleep deprivation obviously isn’t making it any easier for him. “Sorry, I’m just-”

“I know,” I interrupt nodding,” It’s okay, Ethan.”

(Ethan’s POV)

A little bit of time has passed. It’s actually kind of nice to be outside for once. I just can’t describe the amount of relief I just felt when Harper told me she’s alive. I’ve never felt that scared before in my life.

“I- I didn’t actually realize how much I love her until today,” I explain, clearing my throat. “She means everything to me and nearly losing her...there’s still a possibility that I could and...I don’t think I would survive losing her, Harper. I just don’t think I could.”

She simply nods and we sit in comfortable silence for a minute. There’s nothing really to say. Everything is so uncertain right now. There’s a possibility that could happen again or she could never wake up. Even if she does; no one knows what kind of state she’s going to be in. I’ll be there either way but I have no idea how this will affect her life, her career. I just wish that I could turn back time or swap places with her.

“I found the ring, Ethan.” I turn to look at her raising an eyebrow, “It fell out of your jacket.” She says and hands it over to me. I reach in and retrieve the box from the pocket and rest the coat on my lap as I open it up, looking at the sparkling diamond inside. I gently take it out and look at Casey’s initials carved into the inside. “You really love her don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah I do. I’ve had this for a while,” I explain nodding down at it. “I was just waiting for the right time, I guess. Now that might not even happen.” My eyes begin to water as I put it back into the box and then into my coat.

“Don’t give up on her just yet,” Harper advises.

“I’m not, Harper. I’m just trying to be...practical,” I say, swallowing thickly.

“Bryce told me what happened-”

“So now he’s gossiping about me?” I ask, cutting Harper off. I’m overtired and small things are starting to get on my nerve.

“No, he was concerned. He cares. You’re dating his best friend. I’m sure that if Casey could talk right now she’d ask him to keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t need looking after,” I object.

“Ethan, needing help isn’t a bad thing,” Harper sighs, “We all need help sometimes; whether we’d like to admit that or not. If Casey could see the state you’re in she’d-”

“She’d be nagging my ear off to look after myself better- she does it anyway.”

“She’s a smart girl,” Harper responds, giving a small smile and giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“Yeah, she is-” As I glance up I see Casey’s dad heading toward the entrance. I get to my feet.

“What?” Harper questions, getting up herself as we head towards the door too just as Anthony goes in.

“That’s Casey’s dad,” I say, nodding to him as he disappears into the hospital. We continue inside and meet him by the front desk. “Anthony,” I call out to get his attention. He turns around to face us both; his face tear-stained and his eyes still red and puffy.

“Is she okay?” He panics and walks the short distance over to us.

“Yeah,” I nod, “She’s okay. They got her back.”

“Can I see her?”

“Yeah,” I nod, “I’ll take you up to see her now,” I say as the three of us head over to the elevators. On the way up I introduce Harper and Anthony to each other.

Once we’re on the floor we slowly walk to Casey’s room as I explain to him what’s going on. When we arrive at her door, Harper leaves us as Naveen steps out of the room, quickly says hello to Anthony then also takes his leave.

Like I had previously done just days before, Anthony goes to open the door but decides against it. I peep inside the window to see Abigail none the wiser to her husband's appearance as she sits beside Casey’s bedside, one of her daughters hands clasped tightly in hers.

It takes a few minutes for Anthony to feel able to go in and visit his daughter. Abigail stands up to greet Anthony. He stands frozen by the door at the sight of Casey. Abigail wraps her arms around her husband as they walk a little closer to the bed.

The look on Anthony’s face is one that all of us have had when we’ve seen her for the first time. It’s hard to explain how it feels other than saying it physically hurts. It breaks my heart so I can’t imagine what it’s like for him or Abigail.

I stay standing by the door as Anthony walks over to the bed; Abigail behind him, a comforting hand on his back. Anthony goes to run his fingers through her hair but decides against it. He’s scared of hurting her.

“Ant, you can touch her,” I decide to tell him, much like I had to tell Abigail earlier today, “You’re not going to hurt her.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, glancing at me in the doorway.

I nod, “She can’t feel anything.”

Her dad nods and steps closer to Casey’s bed. One of his hands rests on her hand as the other runs carefully through her hair.

“Hello sweetheart,” Anthony whispers as he bends over to place a kiss on her forehead. “You need to...you need to stop being a drama queen and wake up.” I can just about hear the crack in his voice from where I’m standing. “I’m not really sure what to say, Case. This isn’t something that I can kiss better unlike all the scrapes and bruises you used to get playing with your brother… I can’t make this better. Please, please wake up, Case. Please.”

***

It’s a short while later now. Anthony and Abigail have left to go back to the house which left me once again, alone with Casey. I’m sitting in the chair beside her bed, her hand once again, clasped tightly in both of mine. I sit in silence for a little while and listen to the heart monitor beeping rhythmically; she’s alive. That beautiful but insanely annoying sound is what’s reminding me that I haven’t lost her. I don’t think I can ever come that close again. I just don’t think I could.

My eyes briefly look over her face; she doesn’t look like her. She just doesn’t. The tube down her throat, the scrapes, and bruises littering her face...It’s easier to tell myself that this isn’t her, that I’ve got the wrong room but I haven’t. My gaze shifts to her chest rising up and down but that’s not as comforting as it once was. A ventilator, a machine, is forcing air into her lungs and that’s what’s making it go up and down. She’s not doing it on her own volition and that’s one of the hardest things for me, we don’t even know at the minute if she can breathe unassisted.

I give her hand a little squeeze. I want more than anything for her to squeeze it back. I’d give anything for that to happen but I know it’s not going to and that breaks my heart.

I clear my throat before I start speaking, “Your mom and dad were here earlier on they’re really worried. They’re both really scared which I understand completely,” I tell her, “ I don’t think that you realise how loved you are and how much you matter to people but when we care about people, we’re not always too good at showing it. That’s just human nature, I guess. Until this, I don’t think I realised just how much I love you and just how much I need you in my life,” I explain to her. I think back over earlier events; coming so incredibly close to losing her. “It all changes when you think you’re going to lose that person though. We need to make a deal that you’re not going to do that again. Come on, Rookie, open your eyes. I’m right here,” I beg her but like I ready knew, nothing happens, “You’ve been talking about going on a trip for a while now but work always got in the way of that. That’s something we’ll do when you’re back on your feet. We’ll get away from all of this. We’ll go anywhere you want.” It’s seems cruel in a way to be making plans when there’s chance that she may not even get to fulfil them. That we will never get to fulfil them together like we should be able to do.

“I’m scared, Rookie. I’m properly terrified of losing you so you need to open your eyes, Case.” A little bit a time passes before I’m regained some of my composure and start speaking again, “I was going to ask you to marry me the other night but this happened instead,” I say, gesturing to her laying unmoving, half-dead in the hospital bed. “We’ve never really spoken about getting married but I know that you liked to get married one day. When your mom was here, she was showing photos of you as a kid, pretending to get married with a pillowcase on your head,” I tell her, smiling sightly at the memory of the photographs, “I know things have been hard lately but I love you. I really, really love and I want nothing more than to be your husband one day, So you...you need to open your eyes and say ‘yes’. Come on, Rookie, you’re stronger than this. Open your eyes.”

And once again nothing happens...

56 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

Wake up, Rookie- Part three

Paring: Ethan x F!MC

Warnings: Traumatic brain injury/ coma, panic attack.

Word count: 1,549

Catch up here

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :) All characters belong to Pixelberry

(Ethan’s POV)

I can hear the commotion coming from inside Casey’s room from where I’m sitting. I hear them yelling orders as they prepare to shock her for the second time. I can’t do this. It feels like a nightmare that I can’t escape from, no matter how hard I try to. This whole situation is like hell. Plain and simple.

Abigail is standing against the opposite wall that I’m sitting against. She crying and lodging a million question’s at Naveen who is trying his best to answer them but he doesn’t know any more than I do. I shouldn’t have left.

I get back up to my and feet and attempt to go back into the room but Harper is still stood there as Naveen tries to comfort Abigail. Harper places a hand on my chest to prevent me from going in.

“Ethan…,” Harper sighs, “They’ve got it handled. Just-”

“Harper, please move,” I beg her, but she simply shakes her head. I know that she’s doing this for my own good. I don’t think I’ll ever get what I just witnessed out of my head but I need to do something. I can’t just stay out here doing nothing. I can’t stay out here listening to her mother crying her eyes out because she’s terrified of losing her daughter. I’m terrified of losing her too and right now that is a huge possibility.

“Ethan, come on,” Harper scolds me as I attempt to get past her. I move so now I’m standing by the door, Harper grabs my arm to prevent me going in. she turns me around to face her, “You don’t need to see what they’re doing to her. You know that.”

I ignore her and pull my arm out of her grip and go into the room regardless of what she just said. “Ethan!”

I freeze in the doorway; being out of the room for just a few minutes made me forget just how horrific this actually is.

I feel Harper gently grasp my arm as she attempts to pull me out of the room. “Ethan, come on,” She said, calmly as she continues to tug. She pulls me again and I turn and leave on my own volition.

I feel sick.

I don’t say anything as I head towards the elevator and out of the hospital altogether. I run outside and stop near some trash cans. I can feel the vomit making it’s way up my throat. I lung forward, grabbing hold it the can as I puke my guts out into it. I don’t care who sees; I’m past the point of giving a shit about what people think. If I lose Casey, I lose everything. She is my entire world. My career, my home means nothing without her.

“Ethan?” I stand up upon hearing Bryce’s voice behind me. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and turn around to face one of Casey’s best friends. Seeing him makes me think back to what I just saw. What just happened and I realise that I just left her. I just left her alone when she needs me more than ever. I-

My heart is pounding in my chest. I can almost feel it bashing against my rib cage. I can’t- It feels like I can’t breathe. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest, restricting the amount of air I’m able to get in. I pull at the collar of my sweatshirt, it’s like I’m suffocating. No matter how hard I try to shift more air it’s like the less I’m actually getting. Logically, I know it’s just a panic attack but thinking rationally isn’t something I’m able to do right now, I can’t breathe and I’m panicking.

“Ethan calm down,” Bryce advises, except it’s not quite that easy, Telling me to calm down isn’t going to help me to calm down, believe it or not. My shallow, fast breaths continue to get worse. I can’t stop my brain from wandering back to what’s currently happening. Bryce steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder, “Ethan you need to calm down.”

I manage to take in a deep breath, hold it for a second, and continue to do that for a few minutes with Bryce’s help until my breathing is more or less back to normal.

“It’s my fault,” I tell Bryce quietly once I’ve calmed down. Both his eyebrows crease in confusion as he looks at me. It’s so difficult to take everyone’s sympathy when I caused this and I’m sick of it. I need to tell someone.

“What’s your fault, Ethan?” Bryce asks, growing more confused, “ What’s going on?”

“Cas-” I pause, my eyes starting to water, “Casey went into cardiac arrest,” I manage to get out.

“What?! Is she okay?” Bryce asked, understandably panicking. She’s one of his best friends. I can’t answer his question; I ran away so I just shrug. I ran away and now I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.

“I don’t know,” I mumble. “I don’t- it’s- this is my fault. It’s my fault,” I quietly say. I can feel myself starting to panic again. Bryce moves to stand in front of me which gets my attention

“What’s your fault?” Bryce asks. I can see by the expression on his face that he’s pissed off that I left her but he doesn’t say anything.

My eyes begin to water again. I can’t control it; I’m a blubbering mess just thinking about all of this. “All of it,” I tell him.

“I don’t understand,” he says, shaking his head.

I take in a deep breath and hold it for a second once I feel myself starting to panic again. Once I’m sure I’m not going to launch myself into another panic attack, I start talking, “We were arguing, she left and I- I didn’t try and stop her I- if I had then this wouldn’t have happened. Bryce, it’s my fault. I-” He puts a hand on my shoulder to cut me off.

“Did you crash into her?” I shake my head. “Then it’s not your fault. If Casey wanted to leave then there was no way in hell you we’re going to stop her.” What he’s makes sense logically but it’s hard to believe right now.

“I still should’ve tried but I didn’t. Now we’re in this mess and now I have no idea if she’s alive or not.”

***

We’ve been arguing so much lately about things that don’t matter. I hate that this is what our relationship is coming to. It feels like I’m losing her. That’s the last thing that I want.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I hear her whisper. No...surely she didn’t just say that she’s done. I heard that wrong, I must’ve. There’s no way- yeah, we’ve been arguing but she knows I love her like I know she loves me.

“What did you just say?” I ask calmly. There’s still a chance I misheard, right?

“I can’t keep doing this,” she responds. Her voice breaks as she speaks. This can’t be the end. We can’t have broken this beyond repair, we can fix this, we can- “I can’t do this anymore,” She says, cutting my thoughts off. She seems more confident in her decision now; her voice doesn’t crack although her eyes begin to water like my own.

“Case-”

“No,” Casey interrupts me, “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be! We’re not meant to constantly be at each other’s throats, Ethan! I love you but I can’t keep fighting with you. I think we should go on a break. We should have some time alone before we ruin this relationship for good.” It feels like my world has just ended. Like there’s a knife in my chest that she just twisted again and again as she spoke. I can’t lose her.

She doesn’t speak and neither do I as she gets her keys and leaves. I hear the engine starts and she pulls out of the driveway but I don’t move. I’m frozen in place; If I only knew that what was going to happen.

***

(Harper’s POV)

I’m now in Casey’s room. They got her back; she’s stable. Abigail is sitting in the chair beside Casey’s bed, grasping tightly onto her daughter’s hand crying with sheer relief. Naveen is also in the room with us standing on the opposite side of her bed. We’ve both attempted to get hold of Ethan to let him know that in no means out of the woods but she’s alive but neither of us has been able to.

I spin around my heel, deciding that I’m going to go and look for the man when I noticed his coat laying on the floor. It must’ve ended up there during earlier’s events. I walk over and bend down to pick it back up when something falls out of the pocket. I bend back down to pick up the item when I realize that it’s a black, velvet ring box. I open the box once I’m standing back up to see the sparkling diamond engagement ring inside.

“Oh, Ethan…” I whisper before shutting the box, putting it back into the pocket and leave the room in search of my friend, his coat still in hand.

#open heart #open heart 2 #open heart fanfcition #open heart fanfic #ethan ramsey fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices #OH #choices OH fanfic #OH ethan #ethan x mc #Dr ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #choices fanfcitiom #choices fanfic #choices open heart 2 fanfiction #open heart 2 fanfiction #wake up rookie #soheila-1996 writes

57 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

Wake up, Rookie (Alternate ending!)

Paring: Ethan x F!MC

Word count: 3,011

Warnings: panic attack

Catch up here

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :) All characters belong to Pixelberry

(Ethan’s POV)

We’re approaching two weeks since Casey was admitted, Since the accident and nothing has really changed. Some cuts and bruises on her face and all over her body have started to heal but not much else has happened. I’m back at work, somewhat. I can hardly concentrate when I’m away from her and not sleeping isn’t helping either. All I’ve been doing is going to my office and looking over some notes and doing paperwork- it’s a distraction. The problem is it doesn’t actually distract me. My thoughts, my heart is on a completely different floor and It’s all I can think about. There’s no distracting myself from this. Even when I’m sometimes able to get some sleep, seeing her in that bed, in that state always plagues my dreams. Every day is like another painful blow when nothing happens. When she doesn’t wake up.

When I reach Casey’s room Abigail is just walking out. We quickly exchange pleasantries and she tells me she’s heading outside to get some fresh air and to meet Anthony. Her dad hasn’t really been here all that much, I understand though, It’s hard seeing someone you love like this.

As I sit down, I take her hand into mine. “This is getting ridiculous now, Case. I know you like your beauty sleep but this-” I say gesturing to her in the bed, “This is taking it up a notch. Please, please just wake up, Rookie.”

Everyone is affected differently by a head injury. The truth is we just don’t know what this has done to her until she wakes up. If she wakes up.

There’s a huge possibility of brain damage. Brain damage? That could mean so many things. What if she does? What is her life going to be like? There are so many things, so many consequences just those two words could possibly mean and that’s terrifying. This entire situation makes me feel physically sick. It’s so incredibly hard to watch someone you love

Her life could potentially be so incredibly different to how it was before all of this. Of course, I want her to wake but I’m terrified. What if she can’t do so many of the other things that she could before this? What if this affects her career. Being a doctor, saving people's lives means the absolute world to her. I’m dreading finding out if she’ll have any lasting side effect from this.

Just then, Abigail and Anthong make their way in and take a seat on the other side of the bed. I guess the one good thing to come out of this is that I’ve gotten to know her parents better but that’s not really important right now.

Some time goes by before either of us speak again, Anthony left to go and stretch his legs a short time ago. “Ethan,” Abigail calls to me quietly. I look up from my lap and over to her and she gestures to Casey. From where I’m sitting I can see her eyes starting to flutter.

“Can you go and get Harper?” Abigail nods and rushes out of the room. I stand up and move closer to the bed, moving into Casey’s line of view. The heart monitor Casey is connected to alerts me of her spiking heart rate. “Casey it’s okay. Calm down. It’s okay.” I have no idea if she understands what I’m saying to her and since she still has a tube down her throat she can't talk to me.

She uncoordinately and with much more effort than should be needed, Casey brings her weak arm up to her mouth, grabbing hold of the tube. I place my hands over her and gently push them away. “I’m going to take that out, okay? It’s alright.”

Just as I start to reach for a pair of gloves, Harper rushes in. “I’ll do it,” she insists. “Abigail, you might want to leave the room,” Harper advised as she gets a pair of gloves and slips them one easily.

Abigail refuses to leave and so Harper gets on with it. Removing the tube is never a nice thing, Casey gags a lot but Harper gets it out of it fairly quickly.

Harper moves out of the way so Abigail and I can get step up closer to the bed. Her eyes are darting around the room. She must be so confused. I can’t imagine how confusing this all must be.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, “You’re in the hospital, you were in an accident but you’re okay, Case,” I explain to her quietly.

“I’m here too,” Abigail adds, “And dad is here too. He’s just gone for a walk.”

Her eyes continue to dart back and forth between us both. She gives neither of us an indication that she understood what we just told her. “Casey, do you understand what I’m saying.”

Once again she doesn’t respond. “Casey?” I ask, grabbing hold of her hand.

“I can’t move,” She tells me. Her voice is raspy and quiet. Abigail leans in closer to her.

“What Honey?” I can see the terrified expression that plastered over her face as she asks her daughter to repeat what she just said.

“M c-can’t m-move,” she repeated. Panic immediately washes over me as I glance at Harper.

Why can’t she move? This isn’t happening.

I run my fingers through her hair to soothe as she begins to panic. “Shhh…It’s okay, Casey. It’s okay.”

“S-scared,” She whispers. She winces at the pain in her throat that the tube has caused. Her voice is barely audible.

“You don’t need to be, sweetheart,” Abigail chimes in. I can’t begin to imagine how scared and confused she is right now. She doesn’t deserve this. Nobody does.

“Tired,” She murmurs as her eyes start fluttering shut again.

“Get some rest,” I whisper. It doesn’t take long for her eyes to flutter shut.

***

It’s nearly an hour later when Harper leads Anthony, Abigail and I to a vacated board room. . I take a seat beside Abigail, Anthony takes the other side of her and Harper sits opposite us all.

“Okay, good news is Casey does have some feeling in both her legs,” Harper explains, “Two weeks is a long time to now be moving. After her legs have healed is going to need some physical therapy to get some strength back. Her memory is a little bit off, she doesn’t remember much from the accident but that’s what we’d expect anyway.”

“But she...she remembers everyone, right?” I ask. I think back to when she woke up, she didn’t say any of our names or gave an indication that she recognised us.

“Yes, she knows who her pain in the ass boyfriend is,” Harper says with a small smirk. “All in all, she’s doing really well.”

(Casey’s POV)

The next time I open my eyes, they’re thankfully not stung by the harsh light like they had been earlier. I vaguely remember waking up, seeing Ethan and my parents but nothing else. The memory is so vague that it almost feels like it was a dream or something.

I turn my head to the side and see Bryce sitting in the chair next to my bed, scrolling through his phone. I wonder where Ethan is.

“Lahela ” I whispered. My throat feels like it’s burning feeling like it’s burning. It feels like it’s literally on fire. Bryce puts his phone away and turns to me.

“Hey, look who's up,” Bryce said quietly and scooted the chair closer.

“E-Ethan,” I ask, I bring my hand up instantly to my throat at the pain that laces through it as I speak.

“Don’t talk if it hurts,” he recommends, it makes sense. “Ethan just popped out for a bit. He should be back soon but until then you’re stuck with me.”

I’m aware of the fact I’m in a hospital but why I’m here is not information i’m privy to right now. Everything is fuzzy and doesn’t make much sense. “What happened?” I wince at the burn in my throat.

“What’s that last thing you remember?” he asked, an unusual down expression on my friends face.

“I-I d-don’t-”

I look around the room. Where am I? It’s a hospital, I know but I don’t understand why I’m here or what’s going on. God, why does everywhere hurt?

There’s an annoying beeping coming from just behind my bed. Talking of the bed; it feels like it’s made of nails.

“You’re in the hospital,” Bryce confirms. I nod; I’ve already figured that out but thankful for the confirmation.

“W-why?” God my throat hurts.

“You we’re in a car accident,” he explains.

The last thing I remember is arguing with Ethan then...nothing. “W-what?” I question. None of this makes sense to me. I don’t even know how time has passed.

Is it the same day?

Is it weeks or months later?

My throat hurts so I’m logically able to put that down to an intubation tube being down there, and I kind of remember Harper removing it. “W-wh-” I just don’t understand. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest; my breathing quickens. Fuck.

A loud beeping fills the room. Bruce leaps forward and comes to sit on the bed beside me. He takes my face in his hands to make me look at him.

I can’t breathe.

“It’s okay. Case, it’s alright. Everything is okay,” he tries to soothe but it’s not. It’s not okay. None of this is okay.

My eyes dart around the room. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest!I’m trying to get air into my lungs but it seems like the harder I try, the amount of air I’m actually getting decreases.

My heart is thudding against my rib cage.

I’m confused. I’m so confused.

I’m scared.

I’m crying now; I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand how this happened.

I can’t breathe- that’s the one concrete thing I know right now.

I’m now only able to take in a few strangled breaths. The panic I’m feeling has already gotten its vicious claws in and I can’t shake it off.

I’m scared. I want Ethan.

I can feel Bryce’s hands on the side of my shoulders but his soothing touch isn’t doing anything to comfort me.

I'm vaguely aware of the door being yanked open and other people coming into the room in a flurry of colours and noises that I’m unable to make sense of.

When I look back up, Ethan is in Bryce’s place now. “Casey, look at me.” My panicked filled gaze flicks up to meet his. “It’s okay. You’re okay,”he tried to soothe. “Copy me, okay?”

I nod. I just want to be able to breathe properly again and to understand what’s going on. Ethan takes in a deep breath in through his nose and exhales out of his nose for a few seconds. I tried to follow suit but I can’t. It’s too hard.

Telling me to breathe isn’t actually helping me too!

Eventually I manage to get the hang of; following my boyfriend's breathing pattern. I feel myself start to calm down, the beeping stops, and the other people and Bryce disperse from the room, leaving Ethan and I on our own.

He stays sitting on the bed. I look up at my eyes welling up. “I don’t under-”

“It’s okay,” Ethan interrupts. “You’re okay; that’s all that matters.” Ethan explains everything to me. The accident, the two week long coma- all of it. I shouldn’t have left that night.

By the time our conversation ends, I’m exhausted and just want to sleep. It’s so much information to process. I’m still not sure that I understand all of it just yet. There’s so much that I don’t understand right now but all I know is that everything will be okay as long as I have Ethan by my side.

(Ethan’s POV)

One year later

Today is the day I never thought would become a reality at times, marrying the love of my life. Finally after the Ross and Rachel like relationship, after all the hardships we’ve faced together, we’re getting married and we’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together. The next chapter of our life together is being written today.

It hasn’t been easy, that’s for certain but all those things have just made our relationship stronger. It’s made us both realise that we can get through anything together.

The last year has been incredibly difficult for the pair of us- Casey especially. She had to recover, she had to do all the work but it all led up to where we are now.

(Casey’s POV)

Today is going to be a good day, I can feel it. I’m getting married to the sexiest doctor on the planet. There’s no one else that I’d rather spend the rest of my life with. There have been a plethora of things that have happened that made me think today would never happen but alas, It’s here and I couldn’t be happier.

I’m currently in my hotel room where Ethan and I are getting married. This place is special. My parents got married here back in the day. I’m facing the mirror concentrating as I put in the last earring.

I see my mom come behind me in the mirror. I know that she’s really happy for me and it’s good since Ethan is the only one of my boyfriend who my parents 100% approve of. She walks up to stand beside me and rests her hands on my shoulder.

“You look stunning, Casey,” She says softly, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” I nod, “I’m ready.”

“Well then, let’s go get you married to your prince charming, shall we?” she asks, unable to keep the huge off her face.

I spin around on my heel to face her, a huge grin spreading across my own face, “Yeah,” I breathe. This is going to be the start of something amazing.

(Ethan’s POV)

Casey is sleeping soundly beside me. I’ve been unable to drift off for some time so I decided to read through some of the new medical journal Casey had recently brought me for my birthday just a week ago.

My attention is drawn to her when she flinches. I turn to look down at her and shake it off when nothing else happens. A second later Casey starts to whimper. I place the journal down onto my bedside table, about to scoot over to her but she shoots up before I can, panting and visibly shaken.

The sad truth is that Casey does often wake up from nightmares most nights. She ended remembering a little bit more of the accident and that tended to plague her dreams. She insists that she’s fine but she’s not. I don’t think anyone can just move on from something so traumatic. It’s going to take time.

We sit for a little while, Casey wrapped tightly in my arms. “Do you want to see if you can fall back to sleep?” I know that Casey is often fairly hesitant to fall back asleep again. I understand, completely. The argument, getting the phone call from Harper, seeing her for the first time and then Casey going into cardiac arrest are things that I still have nightmares about..

She yawns again and nods. I let her go out of my hold and we lie down together. Casey snuggles into my side and rests her head on my chest. I can’t explain how grateful I am to still have her here with me. Last year was one neither of us are never going to forget but it makes me appreciate her all the more. I know that I’m never going to take her for granted again.

Casey’s POV)

Being wrapped in his arms is honestly something that I didn’t would happen again. I remember seeing that car speeding towards me and thinking of Ethan. I wish that the accident never happened but it’s brought us close together. We got married, we’re happy. Yeah, we squabble now again but that’s fairly normal in most relationships but we always figure it out before it goes too far. Before one of us storms out and has another near death experience.

Ethan’s strong heartbeat is always able to soothe my after a nightmare however the nightmare is still playing over and over in my head and I know that Ethan’s notices.

“It’s okay, Rookie. I’m here. For as long as you need me to be I’ll be here.”

#soheila-1996 writes #open heart #open heart fic #open heart fanfiction #open heart 2 #open heart 2 fic #open heart fanfic #choices open heart 2 fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices open heart #Choices Ethan Ramsey #choices #ethan ramsey #dr ethan jonah ramsey #dr ethan ramsey x mc #dr ethan ramsey fanfic #choices ethan #dr casey valentine #ethan x mc

50 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

My story- Part Thirteen

I have epilepsy. This details my seizures, I can’t speak for everyone, everyone’s seizures/ experiences are different. This is graphic. Seizures are messy. They aren’t fun and it felt wrong to make it out to be cute when they really aren’t. Pretty much all the things that happen in the plot have happened to me. Well, I’m not married to a king or live in a palace so…there’s that but everything else is accurate. There may be some jokes about it here because I do joke about it sometimes. It makes me more comfortable and I find it helps relax everyone around me. I’m also writing about it because there really aren’t that many fics written about it and I think it’s important to shine light on it.

Any feedback is really appreciated! :)

Tags: @kacie-0156 @texaskitten30, @cordonianroyalty, @kingliam2019 , @cordonia-gothqueen, @bobasheebaby @losingbraincellseveryday @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @jared2612 @flutistbyday2020 @debramcg1106 @anotherbeingsworld @leaharhys @cordoniaqueensworld @bascmve01

Paring: Liam and Riley

Warnings: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, mention of miscarriage.

Word count: 5,316

Catch up here

This one again is super personal to me. They all are personal in one way or another but this one and the one about my miscarriage are extremely personal.

I really debated writing this in but writing is such an amazing outlet. I was in such a dark place when I lost the baby last year and I didn’t see a way out so I did things that I’m not proud of. I tried to take my own life and now i’m so beyond happy that my attempt was unsuccessful, however, everything has just gone really wrong over the last few weeks and I’ve just started feeling really down again. Writing about my feelings is kind of helping me get out of this funk.

(Riley’s POV)

It’s now the next morning since I arrived back from the hospital. Liam, my parents and my brother had tried to get me to come out of my room but I was being a rebellious teenager and refused to open the door. I think Liam has slept in the spare room. We live in a literal palace so there’s plenty of space for him to stay. I don’t think any of them can understand how I’m feeling. I know that everyone has days when they feel down and a little depressed but I feel like this all the time. I’m numb. I go through my day like a robot. Physically I’m here but mentally I’m a million miles away. I just don’t feel anything anymore.

Everyday just blends in together until it makes no sense anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy. My memory has just gone; I don't even remember what I had for breakfast...If I had breakfast at all that is. I hate this so much.

I’ve taken my medication for the first time in a while earlier this morning after a heated debate with my parents. I struggle to see how any of them think that taking a few pills is going to do anything. It should stop the seizures but it’s not going to change how I feel.

I feel suffocated. I don’t need to be treated like I’m a baby. I’m just...I’m tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I’m just so exhausted all the time. I am sick of faking being happy; it doesn't work.

Losing the baby was just my breaking point and I’m not sure there’s any coming back from it. I don’t want to come back from it. Why would I want to carry on knowing that the rest of my life will be spent in fear of a seizure, that I might not be able to give my husband the one thing he wants more than anything, or with the possibility that I’ll get out of this hole and in a short while end up back here again?

I just want it to stop.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” I ask, bitterly. I’m sitting on the couch in silence with the rest of my family. I can feel Josh’s eyes on me. I turn to look at him as he averts his gaze. “If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

“Just talk to us, Ri,” my brother encouraged.

“About? I told you last night all you need to know. I’ve fucked everything up,” I say, raising my voice as I stand up.

“No, you haven't,” Josh insists.

I shake my head and let out a frustrated groan. When are they going to understand that telling me that everything is fine, that I didn’t fuck up isn't helping? It goes in one ear and out the other. I look back to Josh. “Why are you here, Josh? Who invited you?”

This isn't me. I’m not mean. I’m not like this. I love my brother, growing up he was my best friend but I just don’t care anymore.

“I don’t need my big brother to come and save the day. I’m an adult!” I yell. I’m so easily agitated. Maybe that’s down to the lack of sleep...I don’t know. “And you!” I yell as I turn my full attention to my husband. “You only care because it makes you look like a good person, doesn't it? Lovely, kind Liam married the girl with a disability!”

He looks stunned...maybe a little hurt even. Liam opens his mouth to speak but obviously decides against it. “H-how can you say that?”

“Because it’s true,” I shrug. Nobody says anything to object and in my head they’re just confirming it. It wouldn’t be the first time somebody has used me and my disorder to make themselves look like a better person.

Liam gets to his feet and attempts to step towards me. I hold up a hand to stop him. “Just leave me alone,” I command.

I move past him, grab my phone off the coffee table then I leave the apartment. I need to just be away from everyone.

I need some space.

Jacob and I have been getting particularly closer over the last few weeks. He had visited me a couple times while in the hospital and had been coming over after school. I’m still not back but my parents have agreed to let Jacob, Luna and a couple of my other friends come over.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my siblings and parents but I’m starting to get a little sick of being stuck with them all day. The house has currently been chaotic- Josh is moving out, he’s been saying this for a couple years though, to be fair he had actually moved out with his girlfriend but they had broken up. It was rather tragic actually. He really loved it. Casey is also about to move out and to Boston apparently.

Jacob and I are snuggled up on the couch, blanket draped over our legs, despite the fact it’s the middle of the summer in NYC. Although I’ve got the AC on high enough that at least we’re not dripping with sweat as we cuddle.

Sitting inside is not the ideal thing to do on such a beautiful day however, sometimes, much like now the heat has been known to cause more seizures. I don’t mind sitting inside though; I’m not really a fan of the sun, I burn really easily. That might possible be now to me being a ginger- the sun hates me.

Jacob is just amazing. Since he found out about my epilepsy he has been amazing. He makes sure that I’m on my side and helps me wake up when the seizure ends. Obviously, epilepsy is a big thing to deal with when you actually have it but it’s also a big thing for the people are you too but Jacob doesn’t seem bothered by it or is overly worried. It’s nice and refreshing to have somebody who isn’t constantly worried, however, we haven't really discussed it so he doesn’t know much about it.

We spend a little while longer watching celebrity masterchef- Jacob is from the UK and had introduced me to the show a little while ago as we talk about what it's like back in England. It’s nice learning about where he’s from. He’s lived in the States for a few years now but still has a very, very British accent.

“What triggers them?” Jacob asks, breaking the comfortable silence between us both. I look up to him with a raised eyebrow. “Your seizures. What triggers them?”

I clear my throat, thinking about what I'm going to say before I speak normally makes me stutter a little less. “Q-quite a few t-things. N-not taking m-my medication, sleep d-d-deprivation, s-stress, if I get t-too overwhelmed can t-trigger them, if I d-don't eat can s-sometimes cause them or if I get t-too hot.” I explain, internally cringing at how much I just stuttered. Speech therapy it helping, it’s not as bad as it used to be but it’s nowhere near back to how it was before. He nods. “W-When I-I was younger hot showers sometimes triggered them or caused an aura,” I add, “I-it doesn't really happen anymore. I-i-It’s a m-minefield s-s-sometimes.”

“Aura?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I nod, “N-not like a-a s-s-spiritual one. It's what t-t-the feeling you get before a s-s-seizure is c-called.”

“And you get that every time you’re about to have a seizure?”

“M-m-most of the time. Occasionally they just k-kinda happen but n-n-normally before a grand mal s-seizure I will. W-when I have absences they just happen b-but they’re m-much e-easier t-to recover from. They happen a-and then i-I’m fine s-straight away,” I explain.

“Absence?” he asks. It dawns on me that he really doesn't know much about my seizures or seizures in general other than the basic first aid while it’s actually happening.

I turn around to face him and bring my legs under me. I take some time to think about my sentence before I speak. “Yeah, there’s different types of s-s-seizures,” I tell him, “Grand m-mal s-seizures are the m-most r-recognisable s-seizure; it’s the m-most c-c-common one people think about but then there’s a few others. I have absence seizures which is when I kinda just s-stare off into space for a couple s-seconds. I’ve also had a couple m-m-myoclonic seizures too.”

“What’s that?”

“It n-normally happens in n-both arms but not always, your m-mouth can twitch and your jaw can jerk. It can happen to the head and neck too but the person is fully aware of what’s happening. They’re really scary- all types of seizures are.”

We talked for a little while longer about my epilepsy and eventually changed the subject to something a little happier. I was engrossed in our conversation when my stomach rolled.

Not now.

I took in a deep breath as I tried to get rid of the nausea. It doesn’t go away and my arm starts to tingle. “J-Jake, i-it might happen again,” I told him, panicked- this never gets easier.

He peeled his gaze off the tv and turned to me. “Ri, you had one this morning. Are you sure this is okay?” He asks me with concern.

It’s true I had one this morning but unfortunately my brain doesn’t really care about if I've already had one today. I’ve learned that it’s going to do whatever it wants and that I have no say in it.

Jacob helps me off the couch and onto the floor. This one is coming on really, really quickly. I don’t remember anything anymore; nothing makes sense. Basically, as soon as I’m laying down on the floor I’m consumed by blackness.

I’m now outside after storming off. Taking a walk through the palace grounds often helps me to clear my head. I’m head to the garden maze- that’s my favourite place. The place I can go to and just clear my head and attempt to make sense of everything.

Everything is a mess. Why can’t I just open up to people? Why can’t I be honest with people about how I’m feeling? There’s thick dark grey clouds looming over me. It’s going to rain. Great. Even the weather seems to be in sync to how I’m feeling.

I want to be able to open up. I want to stop feeling like this but do I deserve to feel better? I don’t think I do.

Ben constantly made me feel like shit and so did all his friends. My teenage years especially were made up of people telling me that I’m worthless or should’ve died and now it’s made up of having everything that I want so incredibly badly taken away from me.

Is there any point to any of this anymore? I can’t seem to find one.

Josh, my mom and dad, Liam, my friends all ask me if i’m okay and I say i’m fine. It’s a habit. I tell them that I’m okay while I’m screaming on the inside that I’m not; praying that they’ll continue to push me enough so I finally break and tell them...but they don’t. They think giving me space and time is helping me but while I’m alone I just dig myself a deeper hole; one that I’m never going to be able to escape from.

Every time they leave me alone it's like they’re putting me back into a cell, all by myself, alone with these crippling thoughts. My mind is a prison and I’m never getting out.

I continue to walk for a little while longer. It’s cold and I can feel the rain lightly starting to fall but I don’t want to go back. Not yet.

I can feel the salty tears streaming down my cheeks but I don’t wipe them away. What’s the point? They’ll just soon be replaced with more.

My family, my friends, my husband...they hate me don’t they? I snapped at Josh, at Liam...I- I suddenly come to a halt when my stomach rolls and I feel that all too familiar feeling again.

My arm is beginning to tingle, everything is growing more and more confusing. The one thing I know is that I want my husband. I want Liam.

Why was I so mean to him? He was only trying to help.

He’s going to be even more angry at me after this. I can’t tell him; he’ll be mad. I think for a second. There’s one other person that won’t be mad at me...

Casey- my doctor sister.

I retrieved my phone from my back pocket, nearly dropping it onto the floor in the process. I clumsily find her contact and type out a barely coherent text.

Me: Im goins to hsve a seizure

Even auto-correct can’t help me. The device in my hand makes a sound just seconds later as a reply comes in.

Casey: Like right now?

My vision is starting to blur and I know longer know how to respond to my sister. Nothing makes sense.

The device starts to vibrate and sound comes from it too. I fumble with it and manage to answer.

“Hello?” I asked, my voice slurred. I try to hold the device to my ear but coordination is not something I possess right now so it rests on my cheek. I’m sure this isn’t right.

“Ri?” My sister’s concerned voice sounded through the device, “Where are you?”

“I..”

“Where’s Liam, Ri? What’s going on?” She sounds serious.

“He doesn’t w-want t-to,” I stutter. I can feel the tears starting to prick at my eyes.

“He’s mad,” I slur.

“Where are you?”

“O-outside,” I stutter.

“Can you lay down on your side for me?” She directs me gently. I comply and lower myself down onto the wet grass and lay on my side. I can feel something hitting me...like rain.

“He’s mad,” I whisper. That’s all I know; Liam’s mad at me and won’t want to help me.

“He still wants to help you,” She told me but I don’t believe her. “Riley, I need you to stay on your side for me, okay? I’m going to call Liam.” I think she’s hung up I can’t hear her anymore.

I close my eyes; feeling my body be covered in goosebumps as the freezing cold rain hammers down. “H-He’s m-m-mad at m-me.” That’s the last thought I have, the last thing I can say before the world goes black.

(Drake's POV)

I’m out on my morning run on the way back to the palace now. Rain has started to pour and the crisp air has started to sting at my exposed arms, legs and face.

I’m jogging along the path on the way back to the palace when I notice somebody laying on the grass. I slow down a little and change direction to head over.

As I get closer I realise that it’s Riley so pick up my jog. I finally reach her and kneel down beside her. I lean over her slightly to look at her face, her eyes are closed and a little blood is pooling out of her mouth. Without thinking, I wipe it away and onto my black shorts. I then brush hair away from her face. My hand brushes against her skin- she’s freezing. Based on the fact that the blood is still wet I concluded that the seizure must’ve stopped really recently so I lift her up into my arms and head back inside.

As I enter the palace, I see Liam walking down the grand staircase. I see tell by the expression he’s got on his face that’s her scared and panicked. He visibly relaxes when he see’s us. Liam hurries down the rest of the steps and over to us.

“Is she okay?” Liam asked, his voice wavers ever so slightly.

I don’t really know the answer to that question though. I mean, I’m only guessing she had a seizure based on how I found her. I shrug, “I-I just found her outside and- “

“Her sister just called me,” Liam told me, “Casey said that Riley thought she’s going to have a seizure.” Liam held out his arms to me and I gently place Riley in his arms. “She’s freezing.”

We head away from any prying eyes of any of the staff into a nearby drawing room. Liam gently places her down on the floor on her side and takes a blanket off the couch and lays it over her. He then kneels down beside her and slips her jacket, tossing it carelessly to the side. He then slips off her soaking wet shoes and socks, discarding of them in the same way.

“Where was she?” Liam asked as I perched on couch.

“Near the entrance to the maze.” Liam nods and I can sense there’s something going on. Is that any of my business though? Probably not but I can see that whatever is happening, what ever happened is starting to take a toll on him.

He looks like he hasn’t slept. I can see that he’s been crying but his red-rimmed eyes. I’ve never seen him look so..broken before.

“What’s going on, Li?”

I’ve never seen him life this and this has me feeling a little panicky. Liam clear wants to cry, his eyes are welling up to the brim but he’s holding it in. He doesn’t take his gaze off of her as he continues running his fingers through her damp hair.

“She called Casey because,” Liam pauses, his voice cracking, “Because she was afraid to tell me, that I would be mad,” He told me, avoiding my question.

“You know she’s not herself when she’s like this.” I try to reason, “She was just confused, Li.”

Liam doesn’t say anything and I can take the hint that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Riley’s actions have hurt him- that much is obvious.

It’s a couple minutes later when Riley’s eyes start to flutter. I get to my feet and clear my throat to get my friends attention.

“I’ll leave you guys to it.” Liam gives me an appreciative nod as I take my leave.

(Riley’s POV)

The first thing I notice is the feeling of cold, wet clothes clinging to my body. Goosebumps spread across my skin. I open my eyes fully and notice a hand laying in front of me.

... Where am I?

I soon realise that the hand is mine as i lift a finger. It’s almost like I’m underwater, my hearing is muffled but I can just about hear something....maybe someone....shifting on the floor next to me?

..What’s happening?

I can feel myself beginning to panic. My heart is pounding. Everything seems loud. Why? It’s almost like it’s reverberating as a wall of sound hits my ears. It takes me some time to realise that the only sound other than my breathing and heart beat is a voice? It’s saying words that I don’t understand in my confusion. They’re speaking a language that makes no sense to me right now.

I make my best effort to move away but I barely shift an inch. I’m really trying to escape but I can’t. Why can’t I move? A helpless, scared cry escapes my mouth. I feel terrified as I see the figure move in front of me.

As they shift into my line of vision, their features become clear and the words they’re speaking, the strange language becomes less jumbled and more coherent.

“Love, love come on it’s alright. It’s over now, love. I’m here.” I realise that I know how that voice belongs to. That face.

There’s something about it that feels familiar, safe even. I look up at him, a strand on dirty blonde hair falls over his face that he soon pushes away. “Hey, Riley,” he says, gently. I can see his mouth moving but I’m still not sure who the man is. “It’s Liam.”

Liam- that name….I know that name I realise.

Liam.

I exhale and relax into the hard floor beneath me. He seems to notice my more relax body language and shifts closer to me.

“You had a seizure,” he explains to me. I wrinkle my eyebrows in confusion, the last thing I remember was walking outside. h-how did I end up in here? “Drake brought you inside. It was raining and you were freezing.”

I nod and with his help, I manage to sit myself up. I wipe my mouth, it comes away with a red substance on the back. I’m still a little out of it and I don’t realise that it’s blood.

Everything begins to come back to me- I snapped at Liam. He’s angry at me, he’s upset with me. I accused him of something I know that he’d never do. I look up at him but I can’t read him. He’s angry.

He’s so mad.

My eyes begin to well up. It’s made such a mess out of everything, he’s mad at me, he doesn't love me anymore, he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I shift away from him and he looks almost surprised. Is that worry flashing across his face?

No, no, it can’t be. He’s mad.

“You’re okay, Love,” He tells me. He tries to reach out to me to pull me back over but I continue to shift away, I nearly topple over- I still don’t have full control over everything just yet “You’re okay, Riley,” he tries again, “Everything’s okay.”

It’s not. Nothing is okay. Nothing is ever going to be okay. I’ve made such a colossal mess of everything.

I shake my head at him as tear slips down my cheek. Liam instinctively reaches out to try and brush it away but I move away from him.

I look away from him to take in my surroundings. I looked down realising I’m now missing my jacket, shoes and socks and a blanket is down draped over me. I think back to what Liam had said as some of the puzzle pieces slot back into place. It was raining...I remember that. At least now I under why my clothes are soaking wet.

“Ri,” Liam calls, moving closer to me. I scoot away from him once again. His face falls and I’m pretty sure I can now see his eyes starting to well up. “Please.” He sounds defeated. He sounds scared and upset and that’s all my fault.

I look up at him to see some tears trickle down his face. I want to cry to but why should I be allowed to feel upset? I caused this. This is my doing. I’ve wrecked everything single-handedly.

This is the first time that I’ve really looked at me. There’s big bags under both his eyes, his hair is unkempt, he even looks as if he’s lost a little weight, there’s stubble on his usually clean shaven face.

I’ve broken him. I’ve broken the man that I’m supposed to love and protect.

** It’s a couple hours later. It’s night now and I’ve been tossing and turning in this bed for what seems like hours. Liam and i had both returned to our quarter after that incident. I had headed to bed and had fallen asleep soon after only to wake a short time later and had spent the rest of the day laying in bed staring at the ceiling. I must’ve fallen back into my slumber at some point because I woke back up to find myself wrapped in my husbands arms and him sleeping soundly beside me. That all happens hours earlier though and i still haven’t been able to drift back off enough then I’m exhausted.

It’s hard to remember a time when I didn't feel utterly useless and hopeless. It amazes me how I’ve somehow managed to convince people that I’m okay for years. How I’ve some how managed to convince my family and friends that I’m okay with a fake smile when they are the people who are supposed to know me better than anyone; the people who are supposed to call me out on my bullshit.

Liam is sleeping beside me so I quietly got out of the end and headed down the hall to our home study. I close the door half way and I switch on the desk lamp that sits on the corner of the desk. I plop down into the seat behind the desk and open the notebook sitting in the middle and pick up a pen out of the pit.

Dear Liam,

First things first, this isn't your fault. I need you to know that. I know that you’ll blame yourself but I don’t want you to.

I’m not really sure what to say or how to explain this to you.

Everything is just so hard. Most of the time, I’m able to handle it and keep going with my life without my daily routine being affected too much but not anymore. I’m stuck in possibly the worst depressive episode that I’ve ever been in and I just don’t see a way out, Li.

I know that I should just talk to you but when I try there’s a voice at the back of my mind screaming at me that I’m nothing but a burden to you, my parents, our friends. I’m not sure when I started feeling like this. At some point everything started to feel pointless, I'm just not sure when.

You’ve made me so happy, Liam. I love you. I love that since you found out about my epilepsy you haven’t treated me like a kid or let it define our relationship. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry that I scare you every time it happens. I’m sorry that I lost our baby. I’m sorry that I’ve shut down and pushed you away since it happened. I’m sorry that I’m not the woman that you married or at least I don’t feel like her anymore.

There’s not one reason why I’m doing this. There isn't a clear explanation. So many things have contributed to this but none of them are your fault. If I were to try and explain this feeling to you or my parents or anyone; you’d all say something along the lines of ‘it’ll get better’ ‘this is a long term solution for a short term problem’ or ‘ You’ve still got your entire life ahead of you’- the problem is that I don’t want it. There’s nothing more to it. I just don’t want to be here anymore. It's all just too hard.

I’m sorry; I know this will hurt you for a short while but you’ll move on. You’ll be okay. You’ll be amazing. I promise. I know I have no right to ask anything of you right now but...be happy. That’s all I want.

I love you.

Goodbye, Liam .

I place down the pen and look down at my letter. There’s a couple tears stains on it now but none of the words have been smudged.

I carefully tear out the page from the notebook and get to my feet. I quietly pad down that hall to our bedroom; Liam is thankfully still asleep. I stay in the doorway for a few minutes watching him sleep. In a short few hours he’ll wake up and I’ll be gone.

I place the note down on my bedside table then enter the bathroom that’s conjoined to our bedroom. I quietly closed the door and headed over the sink counter top.

I sniffle and wipe at both my nose and eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie. I look at my reflection; I look dead already. I don’t look like me...like a human. I don’t recognise myself at all anymore.

I glance away from the mirror and caught sight of the little muti-coloured pill containers just in front of me. It’s like it's screaming out my name, telling me to just down them all and it’ll be over. Take the pills and not wake back up. There’s not a doubt in my mind; I just want it all to stop. I can’t do this anymore- I don't want to. I can’t.

If I do it, Liam will be happy that he won’t have to worry about me anymore. No one will have to spend time and energy worrying about me anymore.

I picked up the container and popped open each little compartment and tipped them into my hand. A couple of them roll out of my hand on fall to the floor but there’s enough in my hand to do the job already.

I placed them into my mouth and swallowed them dry. I cough as they nearly get stuck going down my throat. I’m not sure how I feel right now. It’s an indescribable feeling that I can’t quite explain.

I know that It’ll soon be over, I thought I would feel relief but I...I’m scared. I still feel relief because I know that this’ll all be over soon but I’m not so sure that this was the best decision.

I feel regret for a brief moment before I remember why I’m doing this and that feeling ebbs away. This is right decision- I’m positive.

It’s a couple minutes later when I’m startled when I hear someone knocking on the door. I freeze and turn to slowly look at it.

“Riley? Honey, open the door.” That’s my mom. Why does she want? How does she even know it’s me. “Ri, you’ve been in here a long time. Please open the door, so I know you’re okay. Please?”

I forgot she was an night owl- she must’ve been in the living room or something and saw me come in here.

“I- I’m a little busy right now,” I called back. I just hope she’ll buy that and leave me alone. She doesn't need to see this.

Shit- I forget someone will come in here when it’s over and find me. I hadn’t thought of that.

I hear a brief commotion… more voices….more people are outside. Someone bangs on the door. “Riley, open the door.”

That’s Liam. Shit.

I catch sight of my reflection in the mirror. My skin is pale and beads of sweat are now forming on my forehead.

I don’t feel so good.

I wave my hands in front face to try and cool myself down. I’m so hot.

“Ri, It’s dad, open the door,” My dad pleads, “Honey, please open the door.”

I think someone just rammed into the door. It happens again and the door flies open, the frame splintering. Liam is the first person I see...kind of , my vision is starting to blur. I sway back and forth, I feel so out of it.

“What did you do?!” my dad yells. Somebody is holding me up, I can feel someones arms wrapped around my waist. I think it’s Liam.

I’m dizzy.

I hear my mom let out a sob. “Riley!”

The voices around me, the terrified screams of my family don’t register. I stumble back into my husband’s chest. My knees buckle and I’m vaguely aware of being lowered down onto the floor.

I’m barely aware of what’s going on around me, the flurry of people, nothing makes any sense. All I know is that I don’t feel good and I’m scared.

I’m trying to pay attention to what’s happening but I’m tired. I’m so tired and sleep is calling my name. My eyes flutter shut and I’m consumed by darkness.

#my story #tw sucidal thoughts #tw suicide #tw seizure #tw overdose #tw mention of miscarriage #the royal romance #trr #epilepsy #tw; depression #trr choices #choices #liam x riley #soheila-1996 writes

33 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

My story- Part fourteen

Any feedback is really appreciated! :)

This is also part of wacky drabbles hosted by @wackydrabbles. The prompt this week is: #45: I don’t hate you.

Paring: Liam and Riley

Warnings: Suicide attempt.

Word count: 1,822

Catch up here

(Liam’s POV)

I sit beside my wife’s bedside, her hands in mine as she continued to lay almost lifeless on the bed. The doctor’s had said that they were expecting her to wake up soon. They had extubated her a little while ago. She had woken up very briefly but had soon fallen back asleep.

Of course, I’m relieved but I’m terrified. She wanted to die. No one has any idea how she’s going to react when she finally does wake up and that scares me.

Riley’s parents, brother and our friends have been in and out over the last few days. I haven’t left her. Drake had tried to get me to head back to the palace but I don’t want to miss her waking up. I don’t ever want to leave her side again If I’m being honest.

How can I trust her after this?

How will I ever be able to leave her alone again without being terrified that when I come back she’ll be dead?

I just don’t know what to do. I love Riley more than anything, I’d do anything for her but apparently I can’t protect her from her own demons. Why didn’t she just talk to me? I should’ve seen this coming. If I had this could’ve been avoided completely.

I’m exhausted. I don’t really remember the last time I got a good night’s sleep and I'm positive that it’s not going to be happening any time soon. Every time I close my eyes, I’m back there, back sitting on that bathroom floor with Riley dying in my lap.

I look down at Riley in my lap. Her eyes open and close a few times before they shut and won't open again. I can hear my heart pounding in my chest.

“Riley?” I call, shaking her slightly to try and get her attention. My heart sinks when she doesn’t answer. “Love, wake up.”

Her eyes remain closed and my panic only grows.

I can’t do this.

I can’t.

“Riley, wake up!” I called a little louder this time, shaking her a rougher than before. “Please…”

I vaguely hear Bastien in the background requesting an ambulance. I don’t even remember him arriving. “Liam, is she breathing?” Bastien asks, popping his head into the bathroom.

I swallowed thickly as I looked back at her again. Her chest isn’t rising and falling. picking, I placed my hand on her chest and felt nothing. “No, no, no….”

Surely this is just some kind of twisted nightmare. I don’t want to do this. I just want to wake up with her sleeping peacefully next to me.

“Liam?” Bastien asked, seriously.

I can feel the tears beginning to prick at my eyes. I’m completely panicked now. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. It’s that type of fear that paralyzes you.

“Liam?” my guard asked more urgently this time.

I shook my head vigorously. “No, she’s not breathing.”

**.

It’s hard looking at her and not thinking about it. I don’t ever think I've been that scared. I don’t think I’m ever going to get that image of her lifeless body laying in my lap, Karol screaming for her daughter to wake up or that look on Micheal’s face. That night is something I’m sure is going to stay with me for a very long time.

I’ve been pacing around the waiting room for a little while. We arrived at the hospital over an hour ago now I think. Time just seems to go by so slowly especially while waiting on some news. I

haven’t heard anything and I’m not sure I want to know.

If she’s dead…

Karol and Micheal stepped out a short while ago, leaving Drake and I alone. I’m not sure when he got here, how he knew, I presume Bastien told him but I’m not certain.

He’s sitting on the couch watching as I pace.

“Liam, sit down.” I’m not ignoring him, I truly just don’t hear him. I’m trapped in my head thinking over everything that’s happened. I stop pacing when Drake places a hand on my shoulder. “Sit down,” he said, guiding me over to take a seat on the couch beside him.

Neither of us speak. What’s there to say? There’s nothing either of us could say that Is going to make this better. My wife tried to kill herself- there’s nothing more to be said.

A few moments later we heard a knock on the door. I called out for them to answer and a woman and man strolled into the room both clad in dark green scrubs.

“Your majesty,” the woman spoke, dropping in a quick curtsy. She turned and acknowledged Drake and turned back to me.

“Whatever you’re going to say you can say it in front of Drake,” I told her, matter of factly. I just want her to get on with it. I’m trying to read both doctor’s but they both seem to have a hell of a poker face.

“Okay. My name is Dr. Gale and this is Dr. Lambert,” She introduced, “I’ve been working on Her majesty since she arrived-”

“Is she okay?” Drake interrupted.

The younger woman nodded, “Yes. We were able to resuscitate her, had you not performed CPR at the scene, your majesty, she wouldn’t made it. You saved her life. We were then able to pump her stomach.

“But?” Drake asks, sensing there was one. I don’t know what to say. She’s alive....She’s alive that all I needed to know.

“She’s on a ventilator,” She continues, “She’s doing well at the moment but we just won’t know until she wakes up. She wasn’t breathing for a little while and her brain might’ve not been getting oxygen during that time,” she explains to us. I turned to look at the older man standing just behind her. “Dr. Gale is a psychologist. I thought It would be best if he were to speak with you about what’s going to happen next and what treatment your wife may need.”

He stepped forward and shook both mine and Drake’s hands. “I think it’s best that you both be aware now that when she wakes up it’s very likely that she won't be someone that you recognise. She attempted suicide- people all react differently to a failed attempt. We don’t know how she’ll react when she wakes up but I thought you both ought to know now ahead of time so It’s not too much of a shock later on. I also wanted to ask you some questions about if she had mentioned anything or if you know of anything that may have caused this but I can tell you're very eager to go and see your wife so of course all of that can wait.”

I nodded as they both led Drake and I down a hallway to her room.

We both sit by her bedside for a little while in silence. Again, what is there to say? It’s hard to look at her in this state.

I stare at my hands that rest in my lap. I can still feel them pushing down on her chest as I tried to get her heart to start beating again. “Have you ever felt bones crack under your hands, Drake? I mean have you ever heard them cracking and breaking, because of what you’re doing? ” I tried to get that image out my head, that sound of me breaking her ribs. The sound of me hurting someone that I love.

“Don’t do that to yourself, man. That’s kind of unavoidable, Li.”

“I broke her ribs,” I mumbled quietly. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes again as I grip her hand tightly.

“You saved her life, Liam. A few broken ribs doesn’t mean anything.”

“I still hurt her though, Drake,” I say quietly. I can feel the tears start falling down my cheeks again.

“It’s not that same, Li. You saved her life; you need to know that.”

I just nodded, I know breaking a rib was inevitable but I think it’s something that I will hold against myself for sometime to come yet.

I thought back to the words Dr. Lambert had said the other day. The truth is, I haven’t recognised Riley for a long time. She’s still the woman I love more than anything but she’s not the same person I married. She’s heartbroken and struggling with everything going on and so am I. She needs help. Professional help because I can’t help her- evidently.

There were so many warning signs that this was impending but I didn’t think it would actually happen. I know Riley isn’t one to talk about her feelings, which I’ll hold my hands up and say that it can annoy me sometimes because I want her to be able to come and talk to me so I can help. If something is truly bothering her she will come and we’ll talk it out. Like I’ve done countless times with her if I’m upset or worried about something. I just wish she did just that this time.

I’ve still got her hand gripped tightly in my own as I think over everything that has happened over the last few weeks. I’m just not sure how we move past this.

I immediately look at her as her hand twitches in mine. It’s a few seconds later when her eyes flutter open. I scoot my chair a little closer to the bed as her head falls to the side to face me.

“Hello, Love,” I spoke calmly. I took my free hand and wiped away some tears that started to trickle down my cheeks. She doesn’t say anything; she seems a little confused and out of it which I expected. “You’re in the hospital.”

“Okay,” She said, her voice a little raspy after not being used for a few days. She reaches up to her throat with her hands, wincing.

“They erm...They had to put a tube down your throat to help you breathe. They said it’ll be a little tender for a while,” I explain. Her eyebrows crease in confusion. I ran my thumb over her hand in soothing circles. “What’s the last thing you remember, Love?”

She thinks for a couple of seconds. It’s that look she now has on her face that tells me she’s just remembered what happened; what she tried to do.

“I-I tried to-” I simply just nodded in confirmation. “Do...do you hate me?” She asks, her voice cracks as tears start to stream down her cheeks.

I instinctively leaned forward and wiped away the tears. I took her face into my hands and smooth back her hair. “I don’t hate you. I love you.”

“I’m sorry,” she cries.

I squeeze her hand, “It’s okay. Don’t be sorry, I’m just glad you’re alright. You’re going to be fine. I promise. Love, I promise that it’ll be okay and that we’ll get through this. I promise.”

#my story #tw suicide #tw suicide attempt #tw overdose #the royal romance #trr #choices trr #king liam #riley brooks #choices fanfiction #soheila-1996 writes #epilepsy #the royal romance fanfiction #wacky drabbles

27 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

My Story- Part Nine

My little disclaimer

Any feedback is really appreciated! :)

Tagging people who shared the last part. You don’t have to read it! I just thought you might want to see what happens: @kacie-0156 @texaskitten30, @cordonianroyalty, @kingliam2019 , @bebepac, @kingliam-rys, @cordonia-gothqueen, @kimmiedoo5, @bbrandy2002, @loveellamae @bobasheebaby @losingbraincellseveryday @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @jared2612 @flutistbyday2020 @debramcg1106 @anotherbeingsworld @leaharhys @cordoniaqueensworld @bascmve01

Paring: Liam and Riley

Word count: 3,316

Catch up here

(Riley’s POV) It’s the day after everything happened with Ben. I had gotten a very limited amount of sleep last night. I couldn’t switch off. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. The events of last night were going around my head as if it was stuck on a constant loop. At least Tom- my ex, had the common decency to tell me our relationship was over face to face and did it in a much less harsh manner.

I knew prior to this that Ben is a little bit of a tool, that he isn't the nicest of people but...he was different with me so much so I had made the mistake of thinking that he actually cared about me. Maybe that was down to me being somewhat of a naive teenager.

I wish that Erica would've told me the real reason for his absence last night instead of telling me he was upset which implied that he cared, when he so clearly doesn’t.

I keep looking over the texts and photo he sent me last night. I keep trying to excuse his behaviour. Maybe he’s scared- I would be. It’s a lot to deal with and it is frightening. The more I think about it, the more I try to excuse it, the more I realise that he’s just a bad person- that’s the harsh reality of it.

My eyes begin to fill with tears as I look over the messages and photo again. Even if i didn’t like someone I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't photograph them at their most vulnerable and be this heartless.

I heard a knock at my door before my dad strode in, unaware of my suffering. “Morning Ri!” he said, too chiper for this time in the morning in my opinion. “Come on, sleepyhead, It’s time to get up!” He announced, and I knew what he was about to do.

“Dad no!” I whined at him. I didn’t want him to see the tears that were now streaming down my cheeks. I didn’t want my parents, my sisters and brother to find out how badly I’ve messed up.

He didn't listen and pulled open my curtains allowing the sunlight to pour in. He turned around, his body language changing from being relaxed to alarmed at seeing my teary eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, perching on the end of my bed as I sat myself up.

“Nothing,” I sniffled. His eyebrow raised in question and concern. “I-” I wanted to tell someone about what happened last night but it felt like it was my fault. “I just had a nightmare,” I lie.

He gave me a sad smile. “Well, whatever it was about, it’s not real.”

“I know,” I nodded, wiping at my sore, puffy eyes. He seemed to buy it, he didn't ask any more questions and left me to change into my chosen outfit for the day.

Once I had changed, brushed my teeth and hair, I grabbed my phone and bag from my room then headed downstairs for some breakfast.

My parents, my two older sisters, Casey and Sally and my older brother, Josh, were all sitting at the table by the time I came down. I sat beside Josh since that was the only available seat at the packed table.

I leaned over to grab a piece of toast off the rack in the middle of the table and plastered it in some butter. Everyone else talked with one another but I stayed silent as I ate my toast and sipped at some juice.

My phone sat beside me. It kept pinging with notifications but we weren't allowed to use our phones at the table so I left it.

My eldest sister, Casey, looked over to me when my phone continuously went off for a couple minutes. “Someone’s popular,” she joked.

“Yeah,” I sigh, “I guess so.”

“What’s up? You don’t seem very happy?” My brother asked.

“I'm just tired. I didn’t sleep very well last night,” I explained, shrugging. My phone continued to go off so I picked it up with the intention of switching it off but got intrigued by all the notifications from twitter and instagram as well as some texts from my friends that littered my screen.

I decided to look at my texts first.

Luna: Hey, i’ve just seen the video...Why would anyone do that?

I creased my eyebrows: What video?

Rachel: I thought I’d let you know that there's a video of you having some kind of fit going around at the minute. Loads of people from school have seen it.

Monica: Are you okay? What happened at Ben’s last night?

Phoebe: I hope you’re okay. I just saw the video.

There are a few other texts from my friends but I decide to open up twitter to see what video they’re talking about. My face pales as I open up the app and immediately see what I went looking for.

Fuck

My mom finishes swallowing what’s in her mouth before speaking, interrupting me from looking at the rest of my messages and comments on the video. “How are you feeling this morning? You’re a little pale,” she mentioned.

“Fine,” I nod, switching my phone off. “I’m a little bit sore but I’m fine.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Ri?” Sally asks me. I nod- Of course, I’m not okay, I am now dreading going to school. Everyone knows.

I was dreading going in today anyway since Ben is in all my classes and I’d need to face him but...now apparently I’ve got to face the entire school.

“Yeah, I’m good,”I mumbled quietly. My mom nodded, I can tell by the look she gives me that she’s concerned but she doesn't push it.

“Have you taken your medication?” I nodded as I took a sip of my drink.

My dad glances down at his watch. “We better get going,” he announced.

I said goodbye to my mom, brother and sisters then headed out and into my dad's car.

The drive to school was quick. It was spent mainly in a comfortable silence. When we arrived I gave my dad a quick hug before getting out of the car and heading inside.

It’s a few hours into the day, my best friend Luna and I are now sitting in the cafeteria. Luna is scoffing down her lunch but I'm not hungry. People had been staring at me all day. Some had some empathy and said they were sorry about what the boys have done, while others encouraged their behaviour.

Luna is sitting opposite me on the bench where I’m not really paying attention to her, Ben and his friends are sitting close by and I can hear them laughing.

I look up to Luna when she touches my arm to get my attention. “Are you not gonna eat?”

I shake my head and push the tray away from me, “I’m not hungry.” It’s probably a mixture of things, not getting enough sleep often makes me not very hungry and sometimes a little bit sick, or it could be down to everyone in my school talking about me and laughing behind my back. Either way I don’t feel like eating.

You would think that a group of teenagers nearing adulthood would be able to tell right from wrong. The next few minutes go by painfully slow. Luna doesn’t try to make conversation- I’m thankful for that, I really don’t want to talk about it.

It’s just as Luna is finishing up her meal my stomach feels like it’s trying to do a backflip. I take in a deep breath.

Not here. Please not here.

Luna looks over to me with her eyebrows creased. “Are you okay?” I nodded. “Ri?” She questioned further, not convinced.

“I-I…” I start to say as my vision starts to blur. “I’m not-” I stutter as I unsteadily managed to get up to my feet.

Luna gets to her feet and comes around the bench to stand in front of me. “Riley, what’s wrong?”

“I’m...I’m not…” I stumbled backwards a little as the world began to spin and my arm starts to tingle. She stepped forward and grabbed under my arms to stop me falling backwards. “I’m not feeling well,” I managed to get out.

“Why don’t you sit down? I'll go and find a teacher.”

I shook my head at her suggestion. “N-No. I-I feel...I feel sick.”

“Okay,” she responded, calmly. “We’ll go to the toilet, yeah?”

“I need to-” I was trying to tell her that I need to lay down because I’m not steady on my feet and the world feels like it’s spinning at a million miles an hour. My knees buckle, Luna jumps forward and helps ease me down onto my knees.

I lean forward slightly. I placed my right palm flat on the floor but I can get the other one to do that so I leave it hanging by my side. The world around me spins and I puke.

I feel someone rubbing my back soothingly. “Okay, Okay. It’s okay, Ri.” I think that’s Luna but I’m not so sure.

I hear a loud noise. Like someone’s clapping. “She’s at it again!” The voice is echoey but I recognise it. It’s Ben.

(Luna’s POV) I’m rubbing circles along my best friends back as Ben, the biggest piece of shit in the school, is laughing and clapping along with his friends.

“Ben knock it off!”

My warning for him to stop goes unheeded as he continues. I’m really struggling to comprehend how anyone could act like this.

“She’s only doing it for attention,” he accused.

I turned to look at him shaking my head. “She’s not doing it for attention, you asshole!”

Riley begins to panic and tries to squirm away from me. “Riley, It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Riley fell onto her side, now unable to support herself. I help her to lay down onto her side. I slip off my jacket and place it under her head- this is a familiar routine. My dad has epilepsy, I've had to do this for him on a number of occasions.

Why isn’t a teacher or the nurse here yet?

“M scared,” Riley cries. I turned to look down at her.

“It’s okay. Just try and relax Ri. You’re okay.” Just as I finish my sentence Riley begins to seize and a couple of teacher’s and the school nurse rush in.

I grab my phone and start a timer then answer the nurses questions as a couple other teachers work on getting the other students out of the room to give Riley some privacy.

I looked around us as her seizure continued. I could see some students crowded around us with their phones out- filming it like it’s some kind of entertainment. The teachers managed to get them all to leave and turn their phones off.

It was two minutes later when her movement’s started to slow down as her seizure was stopping. When she was done the nurse made sure she was on her side and wiped away a bit of blood and spit that leaked out of her mouth. She then backed away from her a little bit so not crowd her when she woke up.

(Rileys POV) I have absolutely no idea where I am when I open my eyes. Nothing makes any sense. I can’t really see anything, it’s all just a big blob of colours blending into each other.

I’m trying to move but I can’t. My body feels like it’s being magnetized to the floor.

Why can’t I move?!

Slowly the mixed in colours start to separate and the round around me starts to become clearer. I still don’t understand where I am though. My mind is blank but screaming at the to escape from this place at the same time.

I’m scared.

I can see something crouched down beside me. That scares me, I can’t tell who it is! Nothing makes any sense whatsoever!

I continue to try and squirm away when I notice another one but my body really doesn't want to comply with my commands.

“Riley, can you hear me?” It’s then I realised that I couldn’t hear to begin with. Everything sounds weird, like my ears are filled with water. It's a female voice that I don’t recognize. I realise it’s coming from one of the figures near me.

Who is she?

“Riley?” Another female voice called. I recognize that one. I looked up at the figures as their facial features and other details about my surroundings became much clearer. I realise that My friend Luna is hovering above me and another lady who I think is the school nurse. I can’t be sure though my memory is a little foggy.

I look around the room and figure out that I'm in the cafeteria. “School?” I question.

“Yeah, we’re at school,” Luna answered. I nodded as I tried to sit myself up. I struggle but Luna helps me. I look around me; Why am I here? I don’t remember.

“W-What happened?”

“You had a seizure,” the nurse answered.

I nod. I don’t really understand what’s going on and so her explanation goes right over my head. A little bit of time passes and I ask the previous question again. They both patiently answer them and explain it all to me.

The school have decided to send me home after my stunt in the cafeteria. I’m now sitting in the nurse's office- It’s probably a good thing, I’m not feeling well enough to deal with the impending, inevitable backlash I'm probably going to receive after that. So many people saw...

According to Luna, she saw some people with their cells out recording it so...another embarrassing video was probably about to go circling around the school again.

My brother apparently was on the way to pick me up since my parents are both at work. I don’t need Josh to go into full blown protective big brother mode. All my siblings are quite a bit older than me. There’s nearly ten years between myself and Josh, Eight between Casey and I and six between me and Sally. All of them are too overprotective sometimes.

They had let Luna sit with me until my brother arrived. We both sat in an awkward silence while we waited.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luna asked me politely.

“My parents, my sisters and my brother are so protective over me because of It and I- I guess I just wanted to be normal so I didn’t tell anyone that way none would look at me differently.”

“I get that but I’m your best friend.”

“ I should’ve told you. I know that now. We’re...still friends though right?”

She playfully nudges my shoulder, “Yes! Of course, we are.”

The minutes later and now I’m sitting in my brother’s car in the passenger seat. We’d been sitting in silence for a little while. I understand why he’s so agitated, it’s his day off work and his day has been interrupted because of me.

He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as we pulled up at a red light. “You alright?” I ask. He nods. “I’m sorry.”

He turned to face me. “For?”

“Ruining your day. I didn’t know the school was going to call you.”

He turned to me and gave me a small smile. “It’s fine. You're my little sis. I’d do anything for you.”

I crinkle my nose in disgust. “You’ve gone soft,” I accuse.

“Have not,” He replied, childishly.

I turned to him laughing, “I’ll let you let you have this one; only because you’re my ride home.”

“Smart girl,” he nodded. I rolled my eyes at him. “There’s erm...there’s something i need to talk to you about when we get home.”

“Okay...sounds ominous,” I chuckled nervously.

When we arrived home Josh told me to go and sit down at the table. He stood, with his arms crossed across his chest. “Whats up?” I asked, unnerved by his behaviour.

He took out his phone from his back pocket and pulled something up onto the screen. He set it down on the table in front of me. I swallowed thickly when I noticed that it’s the video Ben took of me last night.

“How did you..?”

“John’s little brother goes to your school, he saw it, told John, he told me. Why didn’t you tell me, Ri?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know... I- I shouldn't have gone to his house last night, mom and dad were right it was a mistake. Maybe if I told him about it we could’ve avoided this altogether. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” He told me. It feels like it is though. “Another thing: you told me you took your medication this morning. You didn’t. Why didn't you take them?”

“They don’t do anything. They don’t stop the seizures so what’s the point of taking them?”

“Riley,” he said in an authoritative tone. “You have to take them. I understand your frustration but if you continue to work with your doctor to figure out what the best dosages are then you’ll be fine. It’ll take time but you still have to take them. Promise me you’ll take them.”

“I promise.” I haven't been completely truthful with Josh. Yes, I’m annoyed that they do literally nothing but that’s not the reason I’m not going to take them. I knew the reason I didn't take them but I was hardly about to tell my brother. I don’t need him getting involved.

(Karol’s POV) The doctors had to stop Riley’s seizure with some medication. It didn’t last nearly as long as it had yesterday morning but it didn't look like it was going to stop on its own and nobody wanted to risk it.

It never gets easier. I’ve seen her have a seizure so many times and it still breaks my heart. She’s my little girl and I feel so helpless to protect her.

She had woken up a little while ago but had fallen asleep soon after- drowsy from the lorazepam the doctor’s had given her to stop her seizure.

Liam and Micheal were speaking with her doctor so it was just me and her. I keep going over what she asked me earlier. I didn’t really understand at the time. I just wanted her to relax because i know if she’s tense before the seizure starts she tends to be sore afterwards. Her speech was so slurred that it was difficult to understand. If I could make it stop I would. I’d take it away from her and give it to myself. I’d do anything to make sure my little girl is okay.

She eyes fluttered open. “Hey, sleepyhead,” I greeted quietly. She turned her head to look at me as she wiped at her tried eyes through a yawn.

“Hi.”

I let a little time go by so Riley could wake up a little bit before I asked my question. I leaned forward in the chair, resting my elbows on my thighs. “Riley, before your seizure you asked me to make it stop. What did you mean?”

I’ve given her time to wake up a little but she still seems really tired. “I don’t remember,” she answered drowsily. Her eyes started to flutter shut again. I stood up from my chair and leaned over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“Get some sleep.”

I go to walk away but she weakly grabs onto my hand with her own. “Don’t go.”

“Okay,” I nod and sit back down. “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Love you,” she mumbled. I reached over to take her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I love you too.”

#my story #tw seizure #tw blood #tw bullying #the royal roamnce #choices trr #king liam #riley brooks #liam x mc #liam x riley #trr #soheila-1996 writes

32 notes · View notes

soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

My story- Part ten

My little disclaimer

Any feedback is really appreciated! :)

Tagging people who shared the last part. You don’t have to read it! I just thought you might want to see what happens: @kacie-0156 @texaskitten30, @cordonianroyalty, @kingliam2019 , @bebepac, @kingliam-rys, @cordonia-gothqueen, @kimmiedoo5, @bbrandy2002, @loveellamae @bobasheebaby @losingbraincellseveryday @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @jared2612 @flutistbyday2020 @debramcg1106 @leaharhys @cordoniaqueensworld @bascmve01 @anotherbeingsworld

Paring: Liam and Riley

Warnings: blood

Word count: 3,966

Catch up here

(Riley’s POV) It’s just over a week after the incident with Ben and what happened at school on Thursday last week. It’s now Friday. I haven't been back to school since last Friday. The entire day was just awful, Someone had posted the video of my seizure in the cafeteria and the one Ben had taken was still circling around.

Ben, Lucas and a couple of the other students that were seen videoing the seizure had been suspended but It didn’t change what they had done. It hurt more because I knew most of them and at one time considered them to be my friends. Of course, I wanted them to be punished for their actions but all I really wanted was an apology. I really doubt I’ll ever get one though. None of them are sorry. I just can’t grasp how someone could be so cruel.

I had avoided social media for the most part over the last few days. My parents obviously knew about the seizure on Thursday and Josh had told them I hadn’t taken my medication. They, like Josh, had lectured me when they got home and had made sure I took on Friday and over the weekend. By the time Monday arrived they had relaxed a little bit and trusted me to take them unprompted, which is probably their biggest mistake.

I didn’t take them on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, yesterday or today. I hate taking them. None of my friends have to take pills every morning. I’ve had to do it for years, for as long as I can remember and I hate it. Who the hell screwed my brain up so badly.

No one knows about my sudden medication strike. I just want to feel normal. I take them and it still happens so what’s the point in it anymore?

I was supposed to go to school on Monday but I had refused to go. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with any more bullshit that was bound to come spewing out of peoples mouths. I also had not been to sleep that night because I was so anxious about school the next morning. Taking all of this into account, my parents let me stay home to get some sleep. Like I had expected, I had a seizure that evening during dinner and another one that night. They had continued. I know that it could be down to my not taking my medication but who's to say they wouldn’t have happened anyway?

It’s the early evening now. Casey is at her boyfriend's house, Josh just got home and is getting ready to go out with his friend, John, for his birthday at night, my mom and dad are debating whether to go out for dinner to celebrate their 20th anniversary to night and sally is sat on sat at the table on the phone.

I’m laying on the couch in the conjoining living room trying to drown out the sounds of my family around me. I could hear my mom and dad going back and forth about their decision. From what i understand they’re not sure because of the amount of seizures I’ve had over the last few days.

“Just go!” I called, frustrated. They don’t need to miss out because of me. I don’t want them to.

“Ri-” My dad started.

“I’m fine. I feel fine,” I interrupted. They look unsure. “Just go. It’s your anniversary. You’ve had this reservation for ages. Go.”

They still don’t look convinced. I shook my head and rolled my eyes in annoyance. I wish that everyone would just relax a little bit. “I have seizures all the time. It’s just a big deal, just go and celebrate.”

“It is a big deal, Riley,” my mom insisted. “We’re just worried about you.”

“There’s no reason to be. I’m fine!” I said, raising my voice in annoyance.

“Riley,” my dad warned.

“Sorry.”

Just then Johs walked into the room. “If you’re going to go out for dinner; i can stay with her just in case,” he offered.

“No, you won’t,”I insisted, getting up off the couch. “I’ll be fine. It’s John’s birthday. You promised to go out with him tonight,” I reminded him.

“But-”

“I can stay,” Sally chimed in, placing her phone down.

“Aren’t you going to that party tonight, though?” I asked. I’m sure that was tonight.

“It’s fine,” she reassured, “I don’t mind staying.”

My mom turned to Sally, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she responded.

“Okay,” my mom nodded. Josh soon left to go and meet up with John after giving me a quick hug and the hundredth time that day asking me if I’m alright. Protective older brothers..

It was forty-five minutes later and my mom and dad were just getting ready to leave. My mom pulled me into a hug as my dad looked for his car keys that he had once again misplaced.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked me...again.

“Yes, you worry too much,” I accused as she pulled back. Once I had reassured my mom and dad again that i’m fine, they left too, leaving me and Sally alone.

I returned back to laying on the couch and playing on my phone. Sally sat down on the armchair next to the couch, also on her phone. I can tell that she isn’t happy about having to babysit me since her face looks like a slapped ass.

A while passes and the tension in the room is palpable. “Why don’t you just go to the party?” I ask.

“Mom and dad would kill me,” she said, continuing to scroll through her phone.

“I’m seventeen; I can look after myself.”

Sally looks over to me like I've grown two heads or something. “And what if you have a seizure?” I rolled my eyes at her and groaned. “What?”

“I. Am. Fine. I’m not going to have a seizure so you don’t need to worry. I know how to look after myself; I don't need a babysitter. It’s like I’m not allowed to do anything because ‘what if I had a seizure’ it is so annoying!”

“Riley-”

“No!” I yelled, “Just go to your party.” She goes silent; debating it.

“Call me if you don’t feel well?”

“Yes, I’ll call you ‘if’ I don’t feel well.” After I reassured her again that I would be fine and that I’d call if I started to not feel well, she changed then left.

Finally some peace and quiet.

It was about an hour later; I’m laying on the couch, just waking up from a nap when my stomach flips.

Fuck.

Don’t panic. I haven’t eaten for a while, maybe that’s why. I know that denying what’s about to happen isn't going to help. I know I’m about to have a seizure; this is a feeling I'm all too familiar with.

I sit up on the couch and feel around me on my phone. Where is it?! My memory is starting to get a little bit foggy. I vaguely remember going to the kitchen a little while ago with my phone, I think I left it there.

I get unsteadily up onto my feet and stagger into the kitchen. I quickly grabbed it off the table and headed back into the living room fumbling with the device. My arm starts to tingle.

I against the odds manage to hit my sister’s contact- no answer. I tried it again and nothing. At this point everything is starting to become confusing. My surroundings are starting to feel forgein and unfamiliar.

My vision is starting to go spotty. I scrolled through my contacts looking for Casey’s- she’s in medical school, maybe she can help me. I tap on it, it rings a few times and her voice comes through.

“Ri? What’s up?” How is she doing that? I can hear her voice but I can’t see her… “Riley, talk to me.”

“I don't feel good,” I said, blinking rapidly to try and get my vision to return back to normal but it didn't. The world is spinning.

“Where are you?” she asks me calmly. “Is anyone with you.”

“N-no,” I managed to stutter out. I look around me. I’m not sure where I am.

I don’t understand anything.

I feel sick.

“Okay, is my dad not there with you?” I shake my head; unaware that my sister won’t be able to see that. “Riley, talk to me is no home with you right now?”

“No.” I think that’s the right answer.

I don’t know.

Nothing makes sense.

I can’t think.

I can’t focus on anything, my eyes are darting around the room. It’s making me more dizzy and disoriented but I need to know where I am. I need to know what’s happening to me.

I sway back and forth on my feet.

Standing up is hard!

“Riley?” I looked at the device in my hand and wondered how Casey is doing this. Maybe she’s magic.

I fumble with it, I realise I don’t have much control over my limbs any more and accidentally press the end call button. I can’t hear my sister’s voice anymore…

Where did she go?

The device in my hands starts to make a sound; it’s music is released. I looked down at it, it had my brother’s face and name flashing on the screen. I press the green button, I think that’s the right one to answer. It seems logical.

“Riley, are you okay?” Why is he out of breath?

How’s he doing that thing Casey was?

My legs buckle and I fall forwards. I don’t have the ability to put my arms out in front of me to break my fall. My forehead hits the corner of the coffee table on the way down.

“Riley what was that? Are you okay?”

Pain laces through my head. I reached up to touch it with my right hand since I still have some control over that one. The tips of my fingers come away red.

My fear mounts: what’s happening to me?!

I feel sick. “Riley are you on the floor?” Josh’s voice asks me through the strange device.

“I-I think so,” I asked, my voice slurred. I start gagging; I’m going to puke.

“Riley turn onto your side for me. Roll onto your side if you're going to be sick.” I follow his instruction and roll myself over.

Why does my head hurt?

I- Where am I?

Something red drips down onto my arm. What is that? I look up a little bit and vaguely see more of the weird substance dripping down my forehead.

My arms and legs feel heavy.

I hear a door open and close then I feel someone touching me. Who’s touching me?!

I try to squirm away but I can't. I can’t move!

(Josh’s POV)

“Ri, it’s okay, it’s me.” She stops fighting against me and relaxes a little. During her squirming she had fallen onto her back and now I’m able to see the gash on her forehead and the blood dripping down her face.

“What happened?” I asked, not expecting to get a coherent response from her. She’s so out of it. I looked around and noticed a little bit of blood on the corner of the coffee. “Shit.”

Before I had time to react Riley started fitting. I slipped off my jacket and placed it under her head, got out my phone to start a timer and then gently pushed her over onto his side. I kept one hand on her hips and on her shoulder to keep her there as the trashing continued.

I used my sleeve to wipe away some blood that was dripping from the wound on her head, then gently pressed down over it to apply some pressure with my now blood stained sleeve.

The timer was telling me it was coming up on our minutes and Riley wasn’t stopping. The wound had stopped bleeding and I moved to wipe away some spit and blood dripping out from the corner of her mouth.

It was about to hit five minutes and she’s still not slowing down. I picked up my phone and dialled 991. I spoke with the operator until the ambulance arrived. It all happened so quickly, they got an oxygen mask on her, started an IV and gave her some medication that was apparently supposed to stop the seizure but It didn’t.

Just as they were loading my little sister into the back of the ambulance, Sally arrived back home.

“Josh?” She asked as I walked down the front steps and towards the ambulance.

“Why did you leave her?!” I screamed at her. I don’t understand who she could be this irresponsible.

“I’m sorry...What happened? Is she okay?”

“No, no, she’s not okay. J-just meet us at the hospital,” I said, passing her my car keys. I don’t really want to be in an enclosed space with her right now. She promised to stay and she didn’t.

I don’t say anything else and climb into the back of the ambulance. We're soon on the way to the hospital and I quickly ring my mom to tell her on the way.

(Karol’s POV) After getting a phone call from my son to tell me that my daughter is being rushed to the hospital because of a seizure that won’t stop; Micheal and I rushed out of the restaurant, into the car and straight to the hospital.

When we arrive, Sally is waiting outside the entrance to the ER for us. We immediately rush over to her, tears are streaming down her cheeks. My heart is pounding in my chest. Josh didn’t tell me much.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” she cried.

“What?” I ask. Josh never mentioned Sally.

“S-she said she was okay, I-I l-left...M-mom i’m so s-sorry.”

“You left her alone?” Sally nodded; I’m too angry, too worried to talk with her right now and head inside. They both follow me. We soon see Josh. He stands up from his seat. “What’s going on? Is she okay?”

I don’t know,” He answered, honestly. His eyes were red and puffy. “Case called and told me that something was wrong...When I got there she was- She was bleeding..she started seizing and it didn’t stop, mom, it kept going so I called 991...they gave her something that was supposed to stop her seizure but it still didn’t stop. I don’t know what’s happening now,” Josh explained to me. He was doing a keep good at keeping his emotions in check but I can tell he’s scared. We all are.

I don’t know what to think right now. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared in my life.

It’s a few minutes later, Micheal, Sally and Josh are all sitting down but I can’t. I’m pacing; I just need to know that she’s okay. If I know she’s okay then I’ll be able to relax.

“What’s happening?” I ask, panicked as a doctor leaves the room where they’re currently working on my daughter. My eyes begin to well with tears at the expression on the young woman’s face. “Is she okay?”

“Why don’t you all follow me?” Josh, Michael and Sally get up and we follow the doctor down the corridor and into another little waiting room. “Take a seat,” She said, gesturing to the chairs.

“No,” I objected. “What’s wrong with my daughter?”

“Okay, so Riley was given Lorazepam by the paramedics which is a Benzodiazepine, which will normally halt a seizure. It unfortunately didn’t in Riley's case. By the time she arrived here, we had just hit the ten minute mark and benzos hadn’t managed to stop her seizure so we administered Fosphenytoin, which is another drug commonly used to treat convulsive status; it hasn’t worked. Around this time, respiratory arrest is now a present threat. She’s on high flow oxygen. There’s a guide how to stop Status epilepticus, we would hope that one of those drugs would’ve worked but unfortunately they haven't-”

“What now?” Josh asked, interrupting.

“Right now, we’ve just called an anaesthesiologist. We’ve gone past fifteen minutes and are rapidly approaching twenty minutes. We’ve exhausted every other option-”

“Can you just tell me that my little girl is going to be okay?!” I interrupted, raising my voice. My voice cracked as I spoke and tears are now streaming down my cheeks.

She has to be okay.

“Okay, so what they’re probably doing right now is administering phenobarbital, It's a barbiturate; it's a stronger medication. What it does is slows down the activity of the brain and nervous system. Once the anaesthesiologist arrives they will begin rapid intubation using what I imagine will be propofol.”

“What does that all mean?” Sally asked.

“It essentially means we’re putting her into a medically induced coma.”

“What happens now?” Micheal asked. I’m too shocked to ask any questions. She was fine when we left and now...she’s not.

“She’ll be transferred to the ICU. Riley has sustained a head injury during her seizure so she will have a scan once we’ve got the seizure under control to make sure everything is okay. We’ll then watch out for rhabdomyolysis-”

“What’s that?” Sally asked.

“It’s a breakdown of skeletal muscle which could potentially have happened by overexertion of the muscles during the seizure. Muscle breakdown causes the release of myoglobin into the bloodstream and too much of that can be harmful, but we’ll keep an eye on her. Hypertension will also be something to keep an eye on which could be caused by fosphenytoin. We’ll also be watching for any arrhythmia.”

“Is she going to be okay though?

“We’re going to have to take this one step at a time. What matters is that you got her here quickly.”

“But?” i asked,sensing there is one.

“But in some cases of convulsive status epilepticus, particularly when it has gone on for this long, sometimes causes brain damage but we don’t know that right now. There’s a possibility that when she wakes that she’ll be fine-”

“But there's a possibility she might not be?”

She nodded in response to my question. “As I said, we just don’t know right now.”

“When can I see her?” I just need to see my baby girl to make sure she’s alright. I just need to see her.

“I imagine it’ll be a little while yet. She still needs a scan and then they’ll probably want to get her settled into her room but hopefully that won’t take too long. I can tell you're really eager to see her.” I nod. “You can wait in here until you can go and see her.”

“Thank you,” Michael said. The young woman gave us a little smile and headed out to give us some privacy to process all of that.

(Liam’s POV) It’s now a little later into the evening. I’m laying in the bed with Riley, her chest is resting on my chest and my arms are wrapped around her. She had woken up again an hour or two ago and asked me to get in with ehr so of course I did. This is the first time I've been this close to her for some time other than when I’m helping her during a seizure.

She was still really sleepy from the medication the doctor had given her earlier this afternoon to stop her seizure.

Riley twitches in my arms and I start to panic. I look down at her as she does it again. “Riley?”

She lets out a scared whimper; it’s not a seizure. She lets out another whimper. “Ri?” I call but she doesn't respond. I gently shake her arm a little bit and she starts to stir.

She sleepily opens her eyes and looks up at me. “Are you alright?” I ask her a she looks around the room.

“Yeah…i just had a-a stupid nightmare,” she mumbled as she continued to look around for something.

“What are you looking for?”

“Where’s my mom?”

“Do you want me to go and get her for you?” She nods.

“Okay,”I say, leaning over and giving a kiss on her temple then left the room in search of Karol.

(Karol’s POV)

“Hey,” I said as I sunk down into the chair beside the bed. “Liam said you wanted me?”

“I’ll give you two sometime to talk,” Liam announced, I gave him a small grateful smile, then left us alone together.

Riley looked pensive, “What the matter, Ri?”

“You said that you blame yourself for my epilepsy... Why?” She asked me seemingly out of nowhere. I know I had mentioned it the other day but I didn’t think it would come up again.

“Where’s this come from?”

“I had this really weird dream...it just made me think about it. But why do you? Blame yourself for it?”

I thought for a minute about how to explain this to my daughter. “Because I should’ve known there was something wrong.”

She creased her eyebrows up at me. “What are you talking about?”

“Before your first Grand Mal seizure happened you used to just stare into space and I didn’t do anything about it. I-I just thought you were daydreaming. I saw you do it so many times and I did nothing. Every time you were having a seizure and I didn’t know-”

“They were absence seizures. You couldn’t have known. Even now when they happen they can be hard to spot. They're not that easily recognisable,” she told me. I already know all of that but...I should’ve known something was wrong. I should've done something about it. Riley took my hand. “It's not your fault, Mom. You didn’t screw my brain up so badly. You don’t make my brain have a temper tantrum all the time.”

“I still should've taken you to a doctor or done something,” I insisted, “I just knew after your first tonic-clonic seizure there was something wrong. You were sick at the time, you had a fever and that’s what the doctor’s blamed it on. I wanted to believe them, Josh had a seizure when he was young, but I just knew. I didn’t see the first one, you were at my mom and dad's house when it happen but then a couple days later I left you, Sal, Case and Josh in the living room to quickly go to the toilet and then I just heard them all screaming...I ran in and you were...you were on the floor and your tiny body was-”

“Mom,” she interrupted, “You didn’t cause it.”

“After everything with Ben; I shouldn't have left you that night either. Especially with your irresponsible sister.”

“That wasn’t your fault either. It probably would’ve happened either way.”

I grasped her hand tightly in mine. “Please, please don’t let that happen again. I could’ve lost you, Riley, I c-can’t come that close to losing you again. Neither could your dad or brother and sisters and Liam...It’d kill him...it would kill me too. He loves you; that’s so obvious.”

“I love him too I- Mom it’s like I'm...Like I’m trapped inside my head and it is such a dark place, I can see that I’m hurting everyone but I can’t find a way out of the hole that I've dug for myself, ” she explains.

“That’s the thing Riley: You don’t have to do it alone. We’re here for you. I spoke to Josh earlier, he’s itching to get on a flight over here. Sal and Case are really worried about you too. Above all you have an amazing husband that would walk over hot coals for you. We get through this as a team, okay?”

“Okay.”

#my story #tw:seizure #tw blood #tw bullying #trr #the royal romance #choices trr #liam x riley #king liam #riley brooks #soheila-1996 writes

28 notes · View notes

wackydrabbles · 4 years

Text

Wacky Drabbles - Prompt 42

Hey gang, Enna here again. So a couple weeks ago, I posted that I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to continue to host wacky drabbles.

Upon hearing that I was struggling, an angel (who I will not name because I’m not sure if they’d want me to) reached out and asked if having some help would make things easier. That darling person, who is too good for this world, proceeded to recruit additional helpers, create this shared blog, and even moved all of the wacky drabble content here so that everything would be in one place.

This means the rules for drabbles have changed slightly in that, instead of tagging me, you’ll want to tag @wackydrabbles to get onto the new culmination lists going forward.

Thank you all for playing along with the prompts. It’s having you along for the ride that makes this so much fun.

Big thanks to @axwalker for randomly selecting this week’s prompt: Let's be honest with ourselves, we knew this was going to happen.

If you want to play along with wacky drabbles, use the prompt, shoot for 1K words or less, and tag @wackydrabbles in it.

Your drabble can include whoever you want, it can be about whatever you want, but more than anything else, this should be a completely fun writing exercise. Just please remember we’re not taking this too seriously.

Your drabble does not need to make sense or fit into any canon or work you’ve already got going on. It doesn’t even have to be a drabble…you can write up whatever you’d like. Just have fun doing it, please…that’s the whole point of this.

Please post your drabble by the end of the day Saturday, May 16. The full list with links will be shared in a post that will be created on Sunday, May 17.

Remember, please tag @wackydrabbles in your post so we know to add it to the list. We’d also ask that you use the tag ‘#wacky drabbles’ for easier searching.

If others decide to join in, that’s fantastic! The more the merrier, just use the tags so we can find it.

If you write more than 1K words…well, we’re not going to count them, but if you get really wordy…we’re probably all gonna know.

If you are on or off the WD list and want that changed, please let us know, the ask box is always open if you’d rather do so quietly. As always, please note that a tag here is not meant to limit the invite list nor is it meant to obligate the taggee to create something for this prompt ...

Wacky Drabblers: @dcbbw @texaskitten30 @bebepac @pedudley @bbrandy2002 @axwalker @katedrakeohd @sirbeepsalot @debramcg1106 @burnsoslow @bobasheebaby @ravenpuff02 @romanticatheart-posts @jessiembruno @loveellamae @flutistbyday2020 @soheila-1996 @kingliam-rys @oofchoices @emceesynonymroll

#wacky drabbles

31 notes · View notes

miss-smrxtiee · 4 years

Text

-Vacationing with distance-

chapter 3- eating for two.

Summary: Bryce and Eliana’s visit to the doctors doesn’t go very well...

Authors note 📝 : we are back from Hiatus! I just wanted to get the plot in order and I hope you enjoy! Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated

Warning ⚠️: Illness discussion, pregnancy. Short fic also but heehee

Tags 🏷:

@aylamreads

@aylamwrites

@kinkypot

@ramseysno1rookie

@soheila-1996

If you would like to be tagged let me know! -S💖

-series masterlist-

-full masterlist-

———————————-

Bryce’s POV.

As Bryce walks into the waiting room he finds a pacing Eliana biting her fingers and running her hand through her hair periodically. He sighs and walks over to her and she jumps at his hand being placed on her shoulder.

“Eliana... I can practically feel the stress rolling off of you.” Bryce said with a worried expression.

“I’m just nervous I mean... this is a doctor’s visit for my baby. I’m having a baby Bryce, it’s a pretty stressful thought!” Eliana said before plopping down in the nearest chair.

“I can’t keep this from Ethan much longer Bryce, it’s killing me. I don’t want him to feel like he has to come home just for me and the baby.” Eliana said softly with her head in her hands.

“I’m actually pretty suprised you kept it for more then a day...” Bryce mused.

“Ice cream and Hallmark movies work wonders.” Eliana chuckled.

They fall into a comfortable silence for a few moments before Eliana speaks up.

“Hey, I need to talk to you about Eth-“ Eliana began.

“-Ms. Valentine, I’m Doctor Russel and I’m here to bring you to your room for your 10:45 appointment,” The Doctor said interrupting Eliana’s sentence.

“Yes that’s me.” Eliana have a half smile at the doctor before glancing at Bryce and moving out of her seat to follow down the hall, Bryce follows shortly after.

Eliana’s POV.

“Alright miss, please have a seat while I heat up the gel and ask you some questions before we check on the baby.” The Doctor said while taking a seat on a roller chair.

Eliana gets comfortable in her bed while Bryce walks into the room and sits down in a chair next to her bed.

“Ok. What are you asking me?” Eliana said shortly after lying down and Bryce taking his seat.

The doctor pulls on some gloves and grabs a pen before turning her attention back to Eliana.

“I’ll start off with this. How much sugar have you been consuming?” The Doctor said while clicking a pen open to take notes.

“Uhhh...” Shit. Eliana thought back to the 2 pints of ice creams she had consumed that week.

“....A, normal amount for a stressed pregnant woman?” Eliana said blushing, the Doctor let out a chuckle.

“That’s normal to be stressed but try eating more protein and veggies to help the baby grow healthy.” The Doctor said while writing down notes. Eliana nodded.

“I’ve heard you’re a fellow doctor.” She winked and both She and Bryce chuckled. “Yes I am.” Eliana replied.

“Alright, do you feel stressed and easily fatigued at work? More then normal?” She asked.

Eliana thought a moment before answering. “I feel more stressed and find myself taking more resting breaks” Eliana answered.

“Hm. Interesting.” The Doctor wrote her answers down.

“Is Mr. Lahela the father?” She said glancing at Bryce.

“Huh? Oh no! He’s a friend. My boyfriends out of town on a... trip.” Eliana frantically answered.

“Oh. You should most likely have the father here for support at home, it makes it less stressful, and from the form you filled out, it doesn’t look like your getting a lot of sleep.” The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at Eliana.

Eliana blushed. “Uh, yeah...” she answered truthfully.

“You might need to go on a maternity leave sooner so this behavior doesn’t effect the growth of the child.” Doctor Russel said while grabbing a needle.

“I’m going to take a small sample of your blood to test for any blood problems that would effect you and or the baby. It’s important you get more rest and I recommend taking maternity leave to release all of your stress.” She recommended.

Ughhh Ethan’s gonna get word of it...

“Uh yeah of course...” Eliana lied.

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t over do it.” Bryce said shooting Eliana a look.

“Okay great! I’ll schedule your next appointment roughly 3 months from now.” The doctor said standing up from her seat.

“I’m going to take a quick blood sample.” She earned and Eliana nodded.

“Thank you. I’ll see you out front.” The doctor said taking her leave.

As soon as the doe shuts Eliana gets up and starts pacing and ranting.

“Ohmygosh Bryce what if I’ve hurt the baby, everyone’s gonna ‘congratulate’ Ethan if I go on maternity leaving and the whole hospital would know!” Bryce tries to calm Eliana down placing a hand on her shoulder, which offered a small amount of comfort.

Eliana sighs and hangs her head in her hands while sitting back down at the edge of the bed.

“E, you’re gonna have to tell him about it sooner rather than later...” Bryce explained and Eliana sighed for what felt like the one hundredth time that day.

“...I wanna wait until he’s gone to a couple more convictions. Like the doctor said. I have 3 months until my next appointment, so I have plenty of time.” Eliana spoke.

“What was that thing you wanted to talk to me about earlier?” Bryce suddenly remembered.

“Oh... that was nothing.” Eliana seemed nervous.

“are you sure?” Bryce searches her eyes for an answer but she nodded his head and he left it alone.

A few minutes of silence went by before the doctor came into the room with a strange expression on her face as she looked through was seemed to be a test result.

“Is everything okay?” Eliana questioned.

The doctor stayed silent.

“Doctor? What’s wrong.” Bryce stood up from his seat to walk over to her.

The doctor glances up at Eliana before speaking. “The blood test result came back a lot quicker than I anticipated...”

They gave her questioning looks.

“.... Ms. Valentine, I’m afraid to say but you have Gestational Diabetes.”

#choices stories you play #pixelberry #choices #playchoices #ethan ramsey #Vacationing with distance #ethan ramsey fic #ethan ramsey x mc #oh fandom #oh fanfic #choices open heart 2

14 notes · View notes