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mangop1e · 3 years

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my Thoughts about mcc14, because this is my blog and the official year of no cringe (in that i will no longer regard my interests as cringe and enjoy them wholeheartedly and post about them if i want)

overall !! it was a really fun event, i was watching blue bats punz pov and they popped off so it was a really good watch for me, the updates to the games were sick as hell and i cannot wait to see these get more refined as we go along plus see what they have in store for bingo and sands of time

putting everything else below the cut for the sake of all the mutuals i have on here that have never interacted with a mcyt in their life!

so. will preface this by saying i’ve watched every mcc live starting with mcc9 and am . just very very into this tournament, i’ll probably do a little analysis post next mcc because i just find it all very fun !! and tumblr is like a void i can scream into and sometimes it screams back so it’s the perfect place to let myself ramble. that being said, here’s my thoughts on this mcc from the blue bats punz pov, with vague knowledge of what happened in a few other povs

build mart: so sue me, i’m a build mart fan. the new map build is INCREDIBLE and i love the choice of elytras rather than the scuffed boats!! the new addition of the golden build is really fun too! not something that could necessarily be changed but build mart is definitely a killer for teams that don’t have good comms and coordination, and having it as a first game can really shake some teams and cause a drop in morale that could affect the rest of their performance in the event. overall, though? im loyal to build mart and i think it only got better with the updates

tgttosawaf: i love how pedantically long that acronym is <3 i think some of the changes really threw players into the deep end, that one round where they had to break the wool in the targets to get through especially, and terra swoop force Definitely threw some players that are otherwise cracked for a loop, especially if they were unfamiliar with the map, but this one was also super fun to watch!! definitely a good game for the first half of the event

sky battle: at long last, sky battle returns <3 as a shameless inniter sky battle is one of my favourite games simply because i Know tommy will always pop off, but it’s also such a fun twist on classic minigames like sky wars and a faster version of skyblockle done super well! i like the new map layout a ton as well, the little towers in the middle ring plus the structure of the innermost ring made for some really interesting plays all around. this game’s another one that can go south really fast if your team comms aren’t great, but definitely more forgiving than build battle, and a hell of a lot more adrenaline-inducing!! in terms of the updates i think this one was probably one of the best, tied with build mart.

survival games: survival games was CRAZY i do think this is one where you need to get good rng with your loot pickups as well as have good team coordination but it’s definitely a really fun pvp game!! only thing i will say is it can be a bit bland next to the rest of the crazy games in mcc but it’s definitely a classic and depending on how its played (cough red rabbits cough) can definitely turn things wayyyy around for a team!! very high stakes in a fun way

hole in the wall: god :sob: the glitch. ohhhh hbomb you and your glitchy ways. this glitch was definitely a new one compared to the usual “spam-space-bar-and-pray” glitch that our dearest tommyinnit has taken advantage of before, but i honestly can’t really blame him too much for using it? it did give aqua an advantage but it’s only slightly different from falsesymmetry using the spam-space glitch to win a few rounds of hitw in a more recent mcc (would have to double check which one, but i do remember hbomb taking note of this when he was reviewing mcc vods the day after). hole in the wall has been a glitchy bastard for as long as it’s been in mcc and it was truly hilarious to see hbomb clip through walls, so - all in all i think if the glitch could be fixed that’d be great but it was still a fun watch! also, pete zahutt is CRACKED.

ace race: whoo boy. ace race. honest opinion? i think the map is REALLY cool and has a lot of potential, but there was a lot of confusion and bugs that need to be fixed for next time - the fact that the players could reset back to a previous checkpoint, the general confusion over where to go which cld mean they need to add more directional arrows. overall i’m really really excited to see how people will perform on this map when they’re more familiar with it and some of the kinks have been worked out on the developer end. i do think scott had a Huge advantage here and it was really prominent due to the fact that this was a new map for everyone aside from him, albeit him seeing a much earlier version that wasn’t the same as the version that existed in the event, and it would definitely be wise of noxcrew and the developing team in the future to be more aware of how much involvement scott has in the gameplay side of testing. the general confusion and checkpoint resetting also did Not help anyone and i do think a few teams really lost out this event because of the issues with ace race, but this map has a ton of potential and im really excited to see what they do with it in the future.

battle box: oooo battle box !! this one didn’t really leave too big of an impression on me but the new map was definitely interesting!! the fact that the way to get to the middle was a bit unclear was ,, definitely interesting to watch :sob: but you can’t go wrong with battle box to be honest. solid team pvp game!

parkour tag: PARKOUR TAG!!! having this as the final game was so fun :] the map they had this time was complicated which definitely comes with its pros and cons: pros being that it creates potential for a lot of really interesting routes and unique usage of the area and environment, and cons being that it can feel really cluttered and overwhelming especially when its your first time playing. overall i liked the fact that it was busier but i think striking a better balance between full and barren could really elevate parkour tag from a good game to a great game

dodgebolt: blue bats </3 they had a fantastic run in the games and had an awful dodgebolt and sometimes that’s how it shakes down !! i always always love the unpredictability to the final winner that dodgebolt gives - the first place team pointswise isnt guaranteed a win, reverse sweeps have happened multiple times in the past, and dodgebolt is always nail-bitingly exciting to watch!

misc thoughts: i do think aqua had an advantage but from the sounds of things scott and noxcrew will be taking genuine criticism into account for next time and have learned from this event, i DONT think that removing parkour warrior was unfair because it wasn’t an event that noxcrew could ever successfully balance by making it hard enough to not have the same guy dominating every event and creating a gap, especially when played later, that no other players had HOPE of reducing and i think parkour tag was a really really fun alternative to it especially since runner and hunter play to diff strengths of the team members and it has a bit more strategy to it plus team comms than parkour warrior did, and i think build mart is a good game and i WILL die on this hill

if you read this far, fantastic, you madlad, i appreciate you

#minecraft championships #mcc #mc championship #blue bats #mcc14 #mcc 14 #look i just really really love mcc and have so many thoughts all the time #and i no longer care about being cringe #i like the minecraft tournament #and i will post about it if i want

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z3norear · 3 years

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Pastoral Advice for the Pandemic from Pope Leo XIII

by Joe Heschmeyer

In 1884, facing major threats to the life and health of the Church and of civil society, Pope Leo XIII wrote Superiore Anno, the second of what would end up being 12 encyclicals that he wrote about the importance of the rosary. He explained in the encyclical. He explained that one of the reasons for the letter was that:

With respect to Italy, it is now most necessary to implore the intercession of the most powerful Virgin through the medium of the Rosary, since a misfortune, and not an imaginary one, is threatening-nay, rather is among us. The Asiatic cholera, having, under God’s will, crossed the boundary within which nature seemed to have confined it, has spread through the crowded shores of a French port, and thence to the neighbouring districts of Italian soil. – To Mary,therefore, we must fly – to her whom rightly and justly the Church entitles the dispenser of saving, aiding, and protecting gifts – that she, graciously hearkening to our prayers, may grant us the help they besought, and drive far from us the unclean plague.

A deadly pandemic was spreading from Asia into Europe, and the pope’s response was to call upon Christians to pray the rosary. And you know what? It worked. Outside of Hamburg, Germany, most of Europe was spared the ravages of the cholera outbreak. What’s more, this cholera outbreak led the physicist Robert Koch to isolate the responsible germ, confirming what’s now known as the “germ theory of disease,” revolutionizing our understanding of disease prevention, and saving untold millions (if not more) of lives.

But Leo recommended the rosary for more than just deliverance from the pandemic:

We have deemed it Our duty to exhort again this year the people of Christendom to persevere in that method and formula of prayer known as the Rosary of Mary, and thereby to merit the powerful patronage of the great Mother of God. In as much as the enemies of Christianity are so stubborn in their aims, its defenders must be equally staunch, especially as the heavenly help and the benefits which are bestowed on us by God are the more usually the fruits of our perseverance. It is good to recall to memory the example of that illustrious widow, Judith – a type of the Blessed Virgin – who curbed the ill-judged impatience of the Jews when they attempted to fix, according to their own judgment, the day appointed by God for the deliverance of His city. The example should also be borne in mind of the Apostles, who awaited the supreme gift promised unto them of the Paraclete, and persevered unanimously in prayer with Mary the Mother of Jesus.

The point he’s making on perseverance is brilliant, but easy to miss. Let’s take the examples in reverse order. After rising from the dead, Jesus charged the Apostles “not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father” (Acts 1:4) and said, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:7-8).

Nine days after He ascends into heaven, this prophecy is fulfilled with the descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. These days, we have “novenas,” prayers that you do for a particular cause for 9 days straight, in honor of the Apostles’ waiting. But they didn’t know they were making a novena. For all they knew, it could be 9 years. Not only did they not know how long it would take, they didn’t even have a clear sense of what they were waiting for. They were just praying, along with Mary, for an indefinite time: “All these with one accord devoted themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren” (Acts 1:14).

But what about Leo’s other example? In Judith 7, the evil Holofernes and his men have laid siege to the city of Bethulia, and cut off the water supply. After 34 days, the people want to surrender. The city officials convince them to wait another five days, saying (Judith 7:30-32):

Have courage, my brothers! Let us hold out for five more days; by that time the Lord our God will restore to us his mercy, for he will not forsake us utterly. But if these days pass by, and no help comes for us, I will do what you say.

The numbers here matter. 40 is the perfect number of preparation (think of Noah’s ark, or the Israelites in the desert, or Jesus’ fast before His public ministry), and both the people and the officials are hijacking that. The people want to give up after 34 days, the officials want to give up after 39. But either way, they’re trying to put God on a human timetable. Judith stands up to both groups, and tells them that they’re both in the wrong (Judith 8:11-12):

Listen to me, rulers of the people of Bethulia! What you have said to the people today is not right; you have even sworn and pronounced this oath between God and you, promising to surrender the city to our enemies unless the Lord turns and helps us within so many days. Who are you, that have put God to the test this day, and are setting yourselves up in the place of God among the sons of men?

Instead, she calls them to a radical trust in God (Judith 8:15-17):

For if he does not choose to help us within these five days, he has power to protect us within any time he pleases, or even to destroy us in the presence of our enemies. Do not try to bind the purposes of the Lord our God; for God is not like man, to be threatened, nor like a human being, to be won over by pleading. Therefore, while we wait for his deliverance, let us call upon him to help us, and he will hear our voice, if it pleases him.

This is a truly Marian faith. She’s making a radical yes to God, without knowing the timetable, without knowing the plan, without even knowing if she would escape with her life. She prayed for and hoped for God’s deliverance, but ultimately trusted that His plan was the best one, even if it involved her death. Trust, pray, and wait.

I’m sure that wasn’t a popular message to the thirsty people of Bethulia, fearing for their lives; and I’m sure it wasn’t a popular message to the people reading Leo’s encyclical in 1884; and I’ll wager that it’s not a popular message today. But this is the kind of persevering faith to which God calls us, and it’s the kind of faith that He rewards. So instead of complaining, like the people of Bethulia, let’s take up the spiritual weapons that we have at hand, and place our trust in God.

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May 13, 2020

3 Comments

James says:

June 4, 2020 at 12:55 am

“To Mary,therefore, we must fly – to her whom rightly and justly the Church entitles the dispenser of saving, aiding, and protecting gifts – that she, graciously hearkening to our prayers, may grant us the help they besought, and drive far from us the unclean plague.”

Did Christ or the Holy Spirit so entitle her?

So Leo XIII is saying Mary “grants” the “help” sought of her in prayer? I thought the doctrine was that Mary intercedes with God the Father or God the Son and They grant the the help that supplicants seek in prayer?

So, why not ask of them directly; that is after all the only injunction that Christ made in regard to our prayers: that we ask of the Father in Christ’s name.

Oh, I forgot, the popes can change all that…sorry. Silly me.

“The Cult of the Virgin”. Isn’t that what they call it?

“Oh, but it’s been our custom, our doctrine for centuries” you say? I suppose the Greeks and Canaanites and the Babylons and the Egyptians said much the same.

Kathleen O'Donnell says:

November 11, 2020 at 11:54 am

james, sorry this is so late bc I just read this article and your reply. I’m so excited that you were open to reading this article. you are correct. We are The Cult of the Virgin and I will pray that one day you will join us!!!

To JESUS THROUGH MARY! she that crushes head of Satan! Don’t despise your heavenly mother who loves you so tenderly bc Jesus will not be pleased with anyone who hates his own mother. She is the Mediatrix of all Graces and it is she who obtains all from Jesus. Peace, My Brother in Christ and son of Mary!

Susan says:

October 22, 2020 at 3:30 am

Everything I read points me to the Rosary. If I complete a Rosary my day is beautiful and useful.

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kihyunsabs · 6 years

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bias tag!

tagged by @okihyunie ty darling :’) i’ve done something like this before but i stan a few more groups now so here gOES

Rules: Make a list of your biases for whichever groups you stan and tag 10 people you want to do it too. You can include one bias wrecker.

under the cut bc i am an Absolute Mess and i stan far too many groups (please excuse the shameless promotion of my other blogs)

ASTRO (sideblog: @jinjinbells 👀)

bias: jinjin

bias wrecker: moonbin 😩😩😩😩 im Suffering so much bc of him lately

B.A.P

bias: himchan, A God

BIGBANG

bias: daesung

BLACKPINK (just made a YG sideblog @rosieblinks 👀)

bias: ROSÉ THE ACTUAL LOVE AND LIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE

Block B

bias: taeil

Boys Republic (pls support them on the unit 💙💙)

bias: sungjun

bias wrecker: minsu (when i saw them live i was fine hugging sungjun but as soon as it got to minsu i couldn’t even look him in the eye he’s so beautiful 😩)

BTOB

bias: sungjae

BTS (bts / multi blog: @tequilayoongi 👀)

bias: suga

bias wrecker: jin

DAY6

bias: wonpil, The Most Adorable Human Being Alive

bias wrecker: brian youngk 😤😤😤

GOT7

bias: youngjae

iKON

bias: junhoe!!!!!!!!!!!! i would d*e for this boy!!!!!!!

Mamamoo

bias: hwasa holy LORD

Monsta X

bias: kihyun 👀

bias wrecker: wonho, the ultimate bias wrecker

NCT 127 (sideblog: @nctmas 👀)

bias: taeyong;;;; i honeslty can’t believe he’s real

bias wrecker: doyoung

NCT Dream

bias: jeno!!

Pentagon (i only started stanning them v recently but I lov them so so so much already so a pentagon sideblog is probably imminent)

bias: wooseok, my tall son whomst i adore

bias wrecker: kino

Red Velvet

bias: wendy 💙

Seventeen (sideblog: @santascoups 👀)

bias: AFTER YEARS OF DELIBERATION I CAN FINALLY CONFIRM WITH 99.9% CERTAINTY THAT HOSHI IS MY BIAS

bias wrecker(s): everyone else s.coups & woozi (i pretty much bias the whole of leader line so i couldn’t just include one;;;)

Twice

bias: jihyo

UNIQ (I MISS MY BABIES)

bias: yixuan

bias wrecker: sungjoo

Victon (STAN 👏🏻 TALENT 👏🏻 STAN 👏🏻 VICTON 👏🏻) (sideblog: @seungsikk 👀)

bias: seungsik

VIXX

bias: ravi

Wanna One (sideblog: @k4ngdaniel 👀)

bias: daniel

bias wrecker: seongwoo

Winner

bias: seungyoon

bias wrecker: mino

...oops?

tagging @seokgrl, @jooheonslegs, @kihani, @floofsta-x, @gentlewonho, @wonhonnie, @thatnormalcrazygirl, @transbebe, @imchangkyute, @santabebe sorry if i keep tagging any of you in stuff i’m so bad at remembering who i’ve tagged in other recent things so there are probably a couple people i’ve ended up spamming 🙈

#tagged #banni talks #i'm a mess!!#i stan a million groups and have a million blogs!!#Send Help

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lucystillintheskywithdiamonds · 7 years

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Hey Lucy! I'm a long time follower of your blog. Before I even knew what Tumblr was I stumbled across your blog when googling Spock and Uhura stuff and checked it daily before I realized there was an actual website full of folks like you and me who I could freak out with😂. Anyway, enough rambling. Could you recommend me some of your favorite academy era S/U fics on AO3? The website confuses the day lights out me; I can never narrow it down to the fics I want. If you don't mind. Thank you!

hi! ..I’m ..- *blushing like crazy* I’m glad I made you find this crazy site^, LOL

as for your question, tbh AO3 used to be my least favorite site for ff precisely because the filter and tag system was confusing (and there is the ongoing problem of fans of.. ehm.. other ships spamming the S/U tag with break up fics). So for a long time I only used fanfiction.net that had a better tag system (that’s why most of the links I have are from there, but also because most of S/U’s ff are there) until they, of course, made that site a mess too LOL

there are so many great academy era S/U ff that I’m totally, 100%, sure I’ll miss some of them now (and there are many great ones I probably didn’t even read because, as I recently discovered, apparently I didn’t really read all the good ff out there). Also, did you read the starfleet academy licensed novels? because those are amazing too. (I posted some quotes, but it’s worth to read the books)first of all, I suggest you to read everything by @psicygni (ao3 page | The Place Between is epic and so are the others. Oh and Discovery you are late because someone already gave Spock a sis ) @notesfromaclassroom (ao3 | ff.net) and @cgockel (ff.net)

my tag for recs is a good start. There is a Spock/Uhura Archive over ao3 but it isn’t updated with all the ff (this is their ship tag where I filtered out the sp*rk stuff, tho now we might need to filter out sp*nes as well )some links (shameless copy/pasted from an old post of mine), I bet you already read some of those

“Break” ~ YahtzeeLinks: livejournal | AO3author summary: During their final semester at Starfleet Academy, two people who have no intention of ever changing transform each other.a classic!

“Miscommunication” ~ SalR Links: fanfiction.net | livejournalauthor summary: Another take on the how-they-met-at-the-Academy story. This version is inspired by the wonderfully combative Farragut scene in the movie. Fireworks, anybody? ; (this is a bit inspired by pride and prejudice so double awesome)sequel?:yes

for another p&p inspired story check also “Pride and Logic” by Yalegirl03

“What We Think We Know” ~ NotesfromaClassroomLinks: fanfiction.net | AO3author summary:Commander Spock hires his best student to be his teaching assistant-and both instantly regret it.sequel? yes! (you will want to read them because they all make one big series)check the author’s page for the chronological order: NotesfromaClassroom

“Descartes’ Error” ~ StarTrekFanWriterLinks: fanfiction.netauthor summary: Starts with Spock accused of misconduct - specifically with being involved with a certain Cadet we all know and love, and flashes back to how he got in such an illogical predicament to begin with. Romance/Sci-Fi/Humor/Drama - Spock and Uhura Origins.sequel? yes!The Vulcan | Reunion: The Rejoining | What Feels Rightone shots that are set in the Descartes’ universe (but can be read as standalone too):Logical | Vulcan Kissing | Once Bitten | The Bean Jar | Descartes Drabblescheck the author’s page for more: StarTrekFanWriter

“Like the Stars, Like Your Destiny” ~ anodynaLinks: livejournal | AO3author summary: Nyota Uhura has always been drawn to things that resist her understanding. Finding out she’s lived her entire life in an alternate reality is a mystery she’s not sure she can solve. Sleeplessness and self-examination ensue.

“Flawed Logic” ~ PoorQueequegLinks: fanfiction.net | AO3author summary: Spock for all his Human gentility, was by Vulcan standards an utter cad.

“Sufficiently Familiar” ~ PoorQueequegLinks: fanfiction.net | AO3author summary:He calls it a delicate situation. She doesn’t call it anything at all. Spock/Uhura pre-movie angstfest.

“Winds against a Star” ~ valyriaLinks: fanfiction.net | AO3 author summary:An obsession with a brilliant young cadet leads to Lieutenant Commander Spock discovering the truth of the Vulcan heart. A Spock/Uhura origins story set at the Academy. Mildly AU.sequel? yes!Part of the series “Kaiidth“

“The Sum of Both of Us” by igrockspocksummary: The first time Spock asks Uhura out, she turns him down. He is forced to present a logical argument to change her mind.

“If You Should Take Me” by Sigridhrsummary: On the first day of Advanced Vulcan Nyota sits in the front row, takes meticulous notes and tries not to think about the way her professor’s voice makes words like phoneme and morphology sound like something one might say between lovers.

“Historical Perspective on the Changing Politics of a Relationship“ by carnationsandrobots (ao3 link)

“Logic and Linguistics” by lily winterwood

“Caesura“ by Lanesy

Boldly Go: Twenty Sentences by SEEKER-2000 (not academy itself but this one just kills me. One word, one sentence and it all shows their relationship)

some I read recently:

the academy era series by @tomfooleryprime Seventy-Four Hours Later and An Algorithm for Dating

“Trust” by KaCole(not academy era, but it’s a different take of how they’d become a couple post battle of vulcan)

“Improvisations” by powmeow

“The Appearance of Favoritism” by powmeow

“Exegesis” by karikes (still have to read “like birds’ wings” too)

#longhaulhome #fanfictions recs #spuhura #spock x uhura #spyota

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ameehhhhh · 7 years

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Tag game- 5 things

I did this before If I’m not mistaken and I’m gonna do this again (2017 version of course!) because this new mutual @wonhos-monbaby just tagged me! thanks alot cutie <3

5 THINGS YOU’LL FIND IN MY BAG

1. my black purse (because black is lyfe) 2. pressed powder(is a must) 3. car key(not going anywhere without my car duh) 4. a bottle of mineral water(stay hydrated guys!) 5. liptint/liquid lipstick(It depends)

5 THINGS YOU’LL FIND IN MY BEROOM

1. a bed 2. book rack 3. a table for random stuffs 4. a freakin box for my clothes because I’m sharing room with my sisters 5. posters everywhere

5 THINGS I WANT TO DO IN LIFE

1. I want to go to monsta x concert or meet and greet one day. PLS LET ME LIVE TILL THEN 2. further my studies this year for bachelor degree(the results for my application is next month PRAY HARD AMY) 3. I want to live in an apartment(a cute one of course). I want to live independently tho 4. travel and meet my tumblr friends! will you guys accept me? 5. I want to make my parents proud of me :’)

5 THINGS I’M CURRENTLY INTO

1. Monsta X duh and KNK hahahaahah. In addition, now I’m into new K-groups because I’m a president of underrated groups(yas can’t u see?).I will always keep update on new songs eventho they just debuted (baro sister just debuted okay she’s pretttayyyy omg asdfghjk) 2. Jogging(my mom always always want me to join her so yas I’m into morning jogging and HEALTHY ACTIVITIES now hahahah xD) 3. skincare and korean makeup products(am still searching tho) 4. bubble tea(this is not currently this is just my everyday thing hahahah) 5. GOBLIN! (but the drama will end soon omg I CAN’T EVEN)

5 THINGS ON MY TO DO LIST

1. to buy a new bb cream, new skincare products(sigh ..) 2. clean my room(idk when bc I’m lazy as fxck) 3. sleep before 10:30PM (I’m confident this is my to do list for today hahaha!) 4. meet my bestfriend this month/next month. SHE’S BACK TOMORROW!YAYYYYYYYY!!!! 5. um........... idk morning jog tmr? (this is my ‘realistic’ to do list of all time okay....xD)

5 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

I did this before not gonna repeat(will try not to hahah)

1. I used to weight 56kilos by the end of 2015 (google it if u don’t use kilos xD). I eat alot before because I’M FREAKIN FRUSTRATED OF MY EX BOYFRIEND WHO LEFT ME WITH STUPID REASONS OF ALL TIME XD and I started my diet and ‘healthy lifestyle’ january 2016 and now my weight is 41kilos :3 2. I love banana!!!!!! :3 3. I’m major in tourism (but my geography suck don’t ask me any further pls) 4. Monsta X is the first Kpop Group ever that I freakin love with all my heart and spend my time this much on. I’m a b2uty since forever too. I miss beast already TT (thanks for not asking) 5. during my diploma years, I have many friends at the university with different background and courses because this shameless girl love to talk randomly with anyone and everywhere she can(yes making friends is my specialty eventho I know most of them think I’m annoying hehe! :3 my confident level is pretty high tho I can’t even believe myself sometimes hahaha!

I don’t know if I should tag them but I don’t want to spam anyone but..I’ll tag 5 person too!

@hidingintheshadowx @mrtrashpants @joohoneydrop

@im-all-in-for-you @minhyukssmol and obviously you don’t have to do this! <3

#tagged #5 things #wonhos-monbaby #let me know if u r not into tag games okay! so i won't tag u again <3 #i love tag games btw hehehehe!

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fucknomeanpeople · 7 years

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Be gentle to yourself!

Content warning: discusses mental illness and suicidal ideation

So I reblogged a post about liking problematic media earlier (x) (hooray shameless self-promotion) and in my glorious tag spam I added some stuff about being gentle to yourself and not beating yourself up. I kind of want to expand on that.

I joined tumblr in December 2012, when some extremely nasty, abusive people were influential in social justice circles. At the time I was very mentally ill and loathed myself. I believed that if I killed myself, I would make the world a better place. Social justice posts were more vitriolic than they are now and I internalised their messages, believing that I was incredibly awful for things I couldn’t control about myself. I would punish myself for the slightest transgression.

Several years later, many years of therapy and an actually supportive group of people around me, I’m definitely a lot better. Part of that is being a lot more relaxed when I mess up and forgiving myself more easily. And at the risk of being conceited, I feel like being more relaxed has made me an actually more ethical person.

When you’re not constantly living in fear of saying or doing something wrong, you can more easily notice what you have done wrong. When you don’t trap yourself in a self-loathing spiral for doing something wrong, you can figure out how to make amends and move forward with your life much more quickly. You have more energy to look after yourself. If you’re doing this, you can better look after the people in your life.

I know looking after yourself is often seen as selfish, but paradoxically it’s better for everyone around you. Effective activism and taking care of others is far harder when all your energy is spent trying to make sure you’re not doing or saying anything wrong.

As an adult, you will make mistakes. You will hurt people, because sometimes their goals and yours cannot be squared. They may not forgive you. They are within their rights to do that. Looking after yourself might be the last thing you feel like doing when that happens (and that’s okay).

I’m not in a position to lecture anyone about how they need to stay alive, but if you’re planning on doing it for the foreseeable future, being gentle to yourself in the aftermath of a fuckup helps.

It’s not complacency. It’s one of the best things you can do for yourself and the wider world.

- Mod Glitter

#mod glitter #positivity #self care #long post #rant

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