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verbosebabbler · 2 years

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ZampanioSim North About Newsposts: ZampanioSim North

I'm currently retracing my steps through the game with the new tools I have. Anything I find won't be added to my main document until I get enough to make the change substantial. It'll be v.2. at that point. But until then, I will list all my findings separately here.

These are newsposts that I found in the code. Debugger > farragofiction > ZampanioSimNorth > static > js > About.tsx

I tend to not add these to the main document as it feels more like notes meant for the creator's, programmers, and othersuch and not the participating audience. But It's important to at least archive them somewhere. The notes are here below the tab from 04/15/2021 - 10/19/2021

"04/15/2021", "i feel...tentatively hopeful about this project? maybe it goes nowhere but this is my first creative work since the pandemic started so *shrugs*. i'm just happy to be MAKING something. plus im kinda burnt out on homestuck??? and this Zampanio thing is...well i don't wanna spoil the creepypasta faq if you haven't read it yet. i just feel myself spinning up a new obsession is all."

"04/18/2021", "ugh. why did I decide a skill tree was so vital to this simulation? it's HARD to get it looking right rip. but skills are obvs important to actual Zampanio so what can i do. plus its absolutely hilarious seeing things like 'Book Beam' get generated"

"05/22/2021", "stats exist now, just copying from wigglersim cuz why wouldn't i. s'not like the actual Zampanio is clear on how stats are"

"06/01/2021", "shareable urls are a thing because i have a problem and the problem is wanting ppl to be able to share urls. this might TECHNICALLY violate the personalization requirement for Zampanio but...i mean. its me. i can't NOT make shareable urls.", "plus this way i can make custom sessions"

"06/02/2021", "lol i just realized what appeals to me so much about Zampanio. its kinda like House of Leaves meets Polybius? (however you spell that). i wonder if that makes the [REDACTED] the ~minotaur~?", "srsly i just freaking love that creepypasta faq so much"

"06/03/2021", "happy birthday OB, the achievement system just went live. its on the third too which is just perfect. i already was using 3 as an arc num in here. hey ,neat, all the numbers are divisible by 3 on OBs bday.", "i should do something with this..."

"06/06/2021", "finally making other menu screens, got statistics and achivements in. its weird, theres a lot more work than id think for just a simple simulation", "its because i cant keep my damn nose out of adding secrets everywhere and putting a frankly absurd amount of work into set pieces designed to make twists punch harder"

"06/08/2021", "im love. rage mode is everything i hoped it would be. absolute perfection. maybe i should call it headache mode? its just. its breath taking. beautiful. im the smartest damn human.", "i just really am a fan of things appearing to be one thing, revealing themselves to be a completely seperate thing, but if you think about it never weren't the first thing too."

"06/13/2021", ":) :) :)", "oh man im feeling so smug right now about what happens even in normal mode"

"06/16/2021", ":) :) :)", "https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMagnusArchives/comments/nzz96g/this_notspiral_perfectly_represents_spiral_in_my/"

"06/19/2021", "wastes can hack now (both in game wastes and real ones)", "if you're a real waste you don't need me telling you how to hack, g'luck ;) ;) ;)"

"06/20/2021", "finally got the skill tree to center itself omg why was that so hard"

"06/23/2021", "mess up bg but softly"

"06/27/2021", "50% less homestuck", "look this is just where i am right now, caring more about creepy pastas then sburb"

"06/29/2021", "menu items actually can be unlocked upgraded but not everything is implemented yet obvs"

"07/01/2021", "music!!!", "i especially love how terrible and upsetting the rage mode music is"

"07/03/2021", "just truth mode :) :) :)", "basically its a reference to Just Monika and a few other things"

"07/06/2021", "can use the skill tree to upgrade menus finally"

"07/10/2021", "working on gaslighting word meanings", "my fav part of this is i keep forgetting i did it and i get upset/confused that 'quests' are now called 'dogs' or something"

"07/11/2021", "standardizing OBs voice. they deserve more than just being AB but meaner."

"07/13/2021", "as the false bg moves around the true mirrors OBs thoughts"

"07/15/2021", "it is physically impossible to create a shitty world and NOT be a sociopath", "turns out the easiest way to make party members is to lobotomize a fully realized player"

"07/18/2021", "really like how i did the gods screen", "honestly everything about this project is ridiculously self indulgent. i don't actually expect many ppl to enjoy it but...its really fun to make??? it brings me joy to try simulating such a weird creepypasta.")

"03/30/3031", "i have finally implemented spiral/sand"

"07/22/2021", "hunting is no longer associated with clowns", "did i go out of my way to leave the 'bug' in for weeks just so i could mirror the faq bug? yes. ofc i did. theres just something so surreal about being issued a clown wig and a bicycle horn when you ask how to kill deer"

"07/23/2021", "THE END IS NEVER THE END", "we're really in it now"

"07/24/2021", " the Thief of Beef is now possible. that is all there is to say on the matter.", "rereading old newspost and srsly its surreal to see any even tangentially mention the pandemic? if i'd seen something like that in a dev log two years ago i would have assumed it was part of an arg or some shit and not just like 'ah yes that period of literal years where eveyone wore masks and reassured everyone about quarantine procedures any time they mentioned leaving the house'.

"07/25/2021", "the Thief of Beef is no longer mandatory for all party members to emulate", "haha whoops"

"08/02/2021", "okay so maybe game like activity is possible but i do not recommend it the ~~minotaur~~ gets pissed if you wander into its labrynth", "if you do it its on your end"

"08/03/2021", "dammit AW just let me know that the faq link is dead... gonna try to see if its cached somewhere (is it old enough for waybackmachine to find it???), if anybody sees anything related to it send it my way, i *swear* im not crazy this is a real thing", "also shoutout to 'craig researcher' which a scammer just let me know 'died' adn probably left me a huge fortune"

"08/05/2021", "one good thing about ZampanioSim getting leaked early is that I found out that firefox freaking *hates* fuckUpBGButSoftly. my beloved. why. ", "at least Truth no longer hates firefox with an unending rage"

"08/08/2021", "eyes and spirals are illegal, i thought you should know. and claiming the menu isn't a menu is equally illegal. maybe more illegal tbh", "maybe i should make like, a youtube guide showing why"

"08/14/2021", "how can eyes be real if mirrors aren't real? so anyways i made mirrors real just in case", "also truth is more true than it was before via being less true than it was before. its okay."

"08/15/2021", "Spiders can wear hats now.", "also, I guess if you care about that sort of thing, you can now be killed horrifically by monsters. well. just the one monster. it follows you around and even if you can kill it it just comes back slightly different. don't worry about it."

"08/16/2021", "time is now officially hard", "in addition to being the shittiest aspect it just is difficult to form. its difficult to follow without a proper mind"

"08/19/2021", "lets all regret having eyes together, shall we?"

"08/24/2021", "look i don't know how or why found footage is a part of the zampanio experienceyar. i just know i feel really proud of how i worked that part of it in."

"08/25/2021", "new avatar who this", "my fav part of this new design is it implies my lack of face was *always* a coiled spring, i just chose not to uncoil it"

"08/29/2021", "skills are real now but only if you're willing to blaspheme against the concept of simulations", "i personally wouldn't recommend blasphemy"

"08/31/2021", "theres something calming about actually getting to see what the skills do, finally. fun fact: its nothing", "shoutout to the late coleman researcher who definitely left me some money according to this scammer"

"09/13/2021", "starting to get desperate about finding that FAQ. the forums mostly seem dead, so I'm gathering up whoever I can find in a discord server to try to follow the breadcrumbs.", "Note to self: post link to discord once this goes live."

"09/21/2021", "bad news: still haven't managed to find that FAQ. good news: guess who just managed to get their hand on an *actual copy of zampanio*???", "Shout out to that weird dead zampanio server for somehow embedding it in a powerpoint???”

"09/25/2021", "things are really starting to come together!!! polish is continuing, a few more secrets!!!" :) :) :)

"10/05/2021", "trying to herd the spiders in here before Halloween. my plan is, no matter the state of the sim, to 'go live' before then. i get the feeling i'll be working on this sim for the rest of my natural life (quite happily, don't get me wrong) so no sense in waiting for it 'to be done'!!!", "i still wanna add the quest system, maybe unlockable titles instead of them being default, maybe that lore screen i keep promising, you know, the basics. but also THE END IS NEVER THE END and all so there will always be things to add. you should add things too. on a03. on the wiki. anywhere fan works go. maybe if enough of us are making zampanio works we can shake loose what happened to that faq? or play it ourselves? Zampanio is a very good game. You should play it."

"10/19/21", "realized its kind of a dick move to throw wastes at 'infinite spiralling secrets' without even a hint of a guide (shame AB couldn't join us over here), so made my traditional gigglesnort hideytalk riddlefuckery checklist. going to start herding people in here proper. shout out in the meantime to the Herald, the Scribe, the Weaver and the other Unmarked who found their way in even before I started herding, btw."

#discoveringzampanio

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me-vale-madresxx · 1 year

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srsly what the fuck pushes ppl to search up ‘tiktok songs 2020/2021/2022’ n play the entire playlist…like wut happened to liking music on ur accord…why even search smth like that up in the first place

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thunderpot · 3 years

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#svsss #mobei jun #shang qinghua #moshang #I was not going to color this so soon cause it was a sketch I did recently just to vent moshang[TM]#BUT #I read a fic so absolutely abusive and toxic I decided to make my own wholesome moshang to cleanse myself #it wasn't even tagged as such the author just really thought gratuitous abuse was romantic #so I did this one quickly at uh #2am #still looks passable now that I'm a proper human being [awake] again #so there you have it #a rant-art lmao #srsly ppl it's 2021 #jfc #anyway #happy early valentines?#there will be some hualian and IY both on the 14th <3

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deercharles · 2 years

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I am really, really sick of how RBR is racist from top to bottom, from past to now.

Now that Marko can’t accuse Charles doing drugs/all the thing he accused Lewis did bc his racist brain prohibits him to think so, the RBR fans are saying Lewis is the problem, as if it wasn’t their team saying problematic things day by day. I think what they deserve is a realisation of how sick they are, how they’re racist, how they are delusional, how they are fooling themselves into believing their human error championship has any legitimacy, so they can live in immense shame.

#Anti RBR #Anti Max Verstappen #No but srsly I can’t understand how shameless they are #Don’t like to generalise ppl #but likes attract likes #The bad one among them are particularly loud and disgusting #I’m referring to they bringing up Charles’ loss of loved one #too #anyway not much to anticipate to anyone that accept the result of Abu Dhabi 2021

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deathbyfiction · 3 years

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Some of you have stuff like lgbtq phobic DNI in your bio/card and then the next second be like uwu bestie with people who are openly exclusionists (biphobic/panphobic/acephobic/transphobic etc)

#i just saw a post and im mad #went and unfollowed ppl #on tumblr in the year 2021 srsly?#wtf

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kmgoogiemin · 2 years

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Hi Georgia! Thank god all those tkkrs and antis come to your blog, they opened my eyes, I was so wrong about life but they fixed my misconseptions!

1. Turns out, IG is the only proof of life, at least since 02Dec.2021. As I don't post shit there my personal life in particular is a mysery and in general I'm dead, hello from the other side! That's obviously the only reason jm posts sth once in a while too as much as he don't like it, just to let the world know he's still alive.

2. Celebrities get into relationships based on opinions of internet anons who ship them. I bet that's how tomdaya got together, their agents told them they're being shipped. I can totally see that convo bw jk and tae:

jk: hey, tae, many shippers believe we look good together, so lets have sex and get married!

tae: great news, jk, I feel like I already am pssionately in love with u! Wait, what if I'm not gay?

jk: well u are if ppl say so, hurry up and take ur pants off, ppl on twt say IG selcas mean we f*cked!

3. Twitter trends obviously also prove which ships are real. Like, the more ppl want sb to be together, the bigger the chance those 2 will be together cuz 1) see par.2 and 2) the sheer power of thought, if ur wish is strong enough it comes true, especially if you keep repeating it like a prayer. Jikook trending doesn't count though cuz apparently fanservice, duh.

4. Jikook is definitely a fanservice cuz all we know abt them happened ON cameras, that's how we know anything at all and so their relationship is all fake. Tkk is real cuz all their meaningful moments happen OFF cameras and no one has literally zero proof those moments happened which means they definitely happened, thank god there are smart shippers who could figure that out of thin air. In general this should mean everything all ships do on cameras is fake tkk including and I'm confused but that's probably just cuz I'm not smart enough to understand that.

5. Everybody hates jm, how could I not realise that?! Like, I thought I loved him but that big warm feeling I have towards him must be, in fact, hate (thanks to your anons I know now)! So what if he's been trending on Twitter almost daily for years with thousands of 'jm we love u, u'r amazing thank god u exist' posts, it's simply impossible someone could love him for real! I bet it's all his own manipulations, that's why he barely comes online, he's too f*cking busy juggling multiple accounts writing posts abt himself, he overdone it so much he got his own name muted but that cunning little ass still manages to trend daily with half a dozen other names! Thank god Yoongy his bf sleeps all the time he's off work otherwise their relationship wouldn't last cuz jm barely has time for anything else. Srsly, let this poor guy go already, all those men and women all over the world falling for him don't exist, it's all a big fat lie! And that model who screamed 'jm marry me!' was totally paid by jm.

6. South Korea is apparently a gay paradise with fairies and unicorns, just like in those BL webtoons one can find online where every man is hot and gay and women only exist if they're gay too, I mean, Korean artists drew that so they must be telling the truth, right? Homophobia doesn't exist there, that's why BH covers the real gay couple with the fake gay couple, the only reason celebs don't rush to come out is cuz their nasty companies want them to play straight to milk all those naive female fans who dream of marrying them one day or believe celebs are all saints who gave chastity vows. Actually, homophobia doesn't exist anywhere, so taekook (proven couple cuz see par.2-4) will definitely officially come out very soon (again cuz they took a habit of coming out every week since they got IG, ahh the power of that SM!) you just wait and see. And other ships will follow suit cuz BTS is obviously one big gay circus, see utube edits and wattpad/ao3 ffcs for proof, they're obviously all documentaries.

Phew, I'm sure I missed sth, I mean I'm going through fundamental changes in my head u know so it's easy to forget sth but I'm looking fwd to the new revelations, my life will not be the same!

seeing it all written there kinda is just crazy

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ukaiknowsbest · 3 years

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Review: Tamayomi

[will contain spoilers]

Lately I have been pretty bored with the recent developments in Daiya no A and Oofuri. New Shonen anime stuff just don't appeal to me, so I bit the bullet and watched Tamayomi for at least one episode a day.

Like me, people would normally think "HOW TF ARE THEY GOING TO PLAY BASEBALL? AREN'T THEY WEARING SHORTS??? IS THIS JUST FANSERVICE?? OMYGOD"

But I did it. I watched the whole thing. 12 episodes.

And I enjoyed it.

THE SETUP/PLOT

pretty standard fare

Pitcher Yomi Takeda accidentally reunites with her childhood friend who's actually a nationals-level in middle school catcher when they both end up in the same highschool.

School: former powerhouse located in Saitama, now baseball club is almost non-existent. Yomi and a few other will try to revive the team from scratch.

Basically Shin Koshigaya is a brand new team where they struggle to look for new members and majority are first years.

They have to face other stronger teams even when they have a few members and some decent players.

Demographic is SEINEN (like oofuri, last inning, one outs, etc.)

CHARACTERS

Yomi Takeda as Main character and pitcher- skilled, resilient, funny, hardworking, does a lot of research which enabled her to perfect her form and hone her breaking ball. She keeps improving in a good pace too.

Tamaki Yamazaki former childhood friend of Yomi. Is a decent catcher in middle school. A bit well known. Good communicator.

Yoshino - team manager and coach. srsly she is a boss. She's not infallible but she tries her best.

and other decent players with adequate skill

For a sports anime they have decent cast. This is probably the closest we can currently get of a story where the girls are just focused on the sport, do their own strategizing/planning/training. All of them are cute but also serious about what they do.

There's no boys here so there's no talk about het-crushes and other distractions. It's a clamfest babyyyy.

I've seen a little of Major 2 (the one abt the son and his coed team) and I couldn't stand it because it was just slice of life in sportsy undertones.

There is also decent communication among all the players. It's pretty refreshing to watch. The catcher is well rounded and the pitcher is good. Everyone talk things out and there is not a lot of drama.

FANSERVICE

Wearing shorts to a sport that involves a lot of making contact with the ground is just illogical lmao.

Their school uniform skirt is pretty short

A little bit of their manager prodding the thighs of each person she meets but with good reason (she can tell how much muscle/exercise a person does just by a little prodding). It's a trope thing.

That's all. There are no panty shots, unnecessary locker room nudity, boob action, see through sweaty shirts. Most of the cringy things I've seen in other girls sports anime aren't present.

Eventually I even forget that they're wearing shorts or that it impedes their performance. It seems like it doesn't matter much to the characters so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't know if like the hugging or holding hands is considered fanservice. In my experiece we ladies just act like that irl. What they do is nothing out of the ordinary.

REALISM

3/5. They wear shorts and dont tie their hair up. The baseball part seem pretty decent though. The pacing of the story and matches was like watching IRL Koshien. It's all very clinical and straightforward.

Plus they include a lot of interesting baseball stuff which I haven't seen happen in early stages of other shonen anime like: specifically training the pitcher in other positions, showing what fielders yell to each other, letting other relievers start to reserve their ace (ppl can yell DnA did this but remember Tanba was injury boy throughout Act 1).

COMPARISON TO OTHER BASEBALL MANGA

based on technicality Tamayomi is prolly one of the top among baseball anime/manga I have seen.

Last Inning

Oofuri

Tamayomi

Daiya no A

Now don't chase me with pitchforks because of this ranking just yet. The fact that Shin Koshigaya coach's decisions and reasonings for plays and lineups are discussed makes the show at par with Last Inning and Oofuri. (we dont see DnA kataoka talk abt this sht like..ever)

Moreover Tamayomi has similar vibes to Oofuri/Big Windup but less dramatic. I do not think it's good for beginners too (especially with just 12 episodes). You need to have prior baseball knowledge to understand what the characters were doing.

However, this show is probably the most no-fuss baseball anime/manga I have watched. It does not rely on hype like DnA and it also don't have heavy topics like Oofuri and Last Inning. It's not wacky like One Outs and it's not uber slice of life like Cross Game. It's just baseball.

My minor complaint is that they don't give numbers when talking about things like pitching speed tho. It would've been more realistic if actual numbers were dropped XD

ART/ DESIGN/ANIMATION

A.k.a the thing most viewers complain about.

Character design is subpar. Everyone's faces are almost the same. You can tell who's the character not by face but by hair and height. Personally I don't mind this. I don't really look for realism in most things I watch. And I think the hair designs are cool.

Lots of people drop this show because of bad animation. There are shots/scenes where it's like I'm watching fanmade AMV's in nicovideo/youtube from the early 2000's. Pitching motions and Batting motions look like character movements in rpg games.

It's not really a problem for me though. I think it's charming for some reason. I don't mind it. A lot of people do but I'm not them.

CONCLUSION

NGL I wanted more. 12 episodes is too short. I hope a better animation company picks this up. I'm rewatching the whole thing because I enjoyed it a lot. I'll even check out the manga if I have time.

If anyone's interested here's my tamayomi livetweet thread

This is one of the closest thing I could get to what a decent girl sports anime looks like. If the character designs, art, animation and the uniforms were just better this show would have gone pretty far.

Compared to Shonen types of manga this was relaxing to watch, especially before bed. I'd honestly recommend it you wanna watch smth that doesnt involve a lot of feelings and drama but still feel like watching an actual sport.

Girls are fun. Finally.

[personal notes under the cut]

I get that people reading this would think I'm being too optimistic about a show they considered shtty but I kid you not, I dropped Bakuten (boys gymnastic's anime) coz even with it's wonderful animation i thought it was boring af.

I have dropped so many prettily animated shows coz i just cant get into the characters nor the story.

I've also said before in my Two Car review that I am actively avoiding shows with popular VA's. Idk much abt female VA's in anime, therefore watching Tamayomi was the perfect solution for me.

The reason I like tamayomi so much is that it gave me the same feeling of watching Summer Koshien 2021. I just think an anime that made me remember that kind of feeling was cool.

I'll rewatch hanebado next. wish me luck.

#tamayomi #sports anime #baseball anime #girls sports anime #this is prolly the only positive review abt this anime

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comradedream · 2 years

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i found dream cuz a manhunt video was trending and i was like ive seen this green man a lot from corpse's among us lobbies and gave it a go and i was like Oh i like this a lot. but i only watched his other non-manhunt videos a bit later on (jan 2021) and a heatwaves song edit got recommended on my yt which led me to One dnf compilation and then i was like hehe haha what if i read the fic and then i pulled an all nighter to read it in one day and here I Am now.

i loveeee that some ppl got introduced to dream thru among us lobbies that’s so cute to me fr like hes technically not the focus or anything but still charmed ppl awhhh :( those were so fun srsly i miss that era sm it formed sm new friendships and interactions and audience overlaps :(( but ANYWAY this is epic another dnf fic to dream stan pipeline member awh glad u made it through the hell of early to mid 2021 mwah

#asks

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milliumizoomi · 2 years

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hello uhm???? Ok so literally end of 2021 let’s do this,,

god where do I start🗿✊🏽

FIRSTLY I’d like to thank my entire following on tumblr,, like holy fuck y’all when I tell y’all we starting 2022 of strong y’all gon see what I mean,, but seriously I want to thank all of the people on here who’s been with me on this hell of a year,,

Like the sheer amount of amazing ppl I’ve met???? AND the love and appreciation I received from y’all??? Omg y’all made my year so much better. To mam my moots,, yall made me live this year. Y’all always make me feel better and I’m so thankful <3.

honestly idk how the year would’ve went without all of u😕💕

INDIVIDUAL MOOT APPRECIATION TIMEEEE <33 !!

@kiyokumura ok where do I start with u🗿 I can honestly say ur the person that’s been here since day one,, can do anything without u nd I’m so happy to have met u this year,, u drive me up the wall literally any chance u get 🗿 but u literally are like my sister and ilysmmm💕💕

@megurulvr ACE MY BELOVED,, my other half literally,, a&a duo for the win literally this girl has been there so much for me it wouldn’t feel right if she just want trying to beat my ass yk?? u are just one of the sweetest ppl ever,, when ur not trying to choke me out🗿✊🏽,, but srsly I’m so thankful for u,, u make my day like 10 times better every time and ilysm😕💕💕

@ccxiia SHAWTY,, MY LIFE,, MIGHT AS WELL BE MY CLONE,, you gave me such happiness,, lord u don’t even know,, ily 🗿💕 literally that’s it,, too much to say I just love u so so much nd u made me rlly rlly happy.

@verrion SHAWTYYYYY,, SHAWTY BAEEEE,, MY SHAWTYYY,, lemme just say,, ily🗿 like the way you’ll be here for anything and speak things ppl rlly don’t wanna hear just to help them??? MAD RESPECT ilysm it’s impossible to fathom,,, GLAD UR MY BESTIE🙄💕💕

@rumi-core RUMIIIII ,, lord you😭✊🏽,, god u make me laugh so much at the stupidest things,, nd call me so often that by the time we’re done talking our phones are dead. God ilysm ur one of the best ppl I’ve ever met nd I’m so happy abt that🕺🏽💕

@sukunasbabymama MOMMMM gosh ily,, u help me out,, give good advice AND UR SWEET???,, literally one of the best moots ever,, u make ppl feel so comfortable and safe that it’d be illegal to not love u,, one of the most non toxic and greatest people I’ve ever met,, go to this woman right here for anything she’ll help u she’s so amazing,, LOVE U LOTS 💘💘

@ventisunholylyre IZZZZ,, god this my wife yall she’s so amazing,, we bond over our love for our boy chifu😌 BUT ANYWAYS gosh I’m so happy to have met u,, u make it literally impossible to not like u and ur always one of the ppl that inspire me time and again,, ILY BABES💘🕺🏽

@infxrity LIA HIII,, hihi ok so like ur vibe?? Amazing I love it,, ur one of the funniest ppl I’ve met and u can literally make anybody laugh with anything u do,, ilysm babes🕺🏽💕💕

@gogogostopsatorugojo @p-ol @sscarchiyo there’s never not a time where y’all don’t make me smile,, y’all are genuinely such amazing ppl nd I love y’all so so much,, honestly feeling good to be calling y’all my moots,, MWAH☹️💕💕

@bontens-sweetheart @uncrytears my darlings,, literally they make me happy,, so happy actually,, I want to give y’all the biggest hug y’all don’t understand,, I’m so happy to have met y’all and Ilysm😭😭💕

Honorable Mention

@v4mpiy ur the sweetest literally,, I want u to know that,, ur amazing,, I wish u all the best my love and I’m so happy I helped inspire u,, I hope that I’ll be liking some of ur stuff as well,, my inbox is always open love,, hope u enjoy the new year 😁💘💘

#🌀 :: 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 #🎭 :: 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐋𝐒 #I LOVE YALL SMMMM☹️❤️❤️❤️

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possibilistfanfiction · 3 years

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srsly tho i am so impressed by especially crystal and cp who have been performing as well as ever while being surrounded by some gross fuckwads who don't seem to have any interest in understanding the world outside of their own experiences and reconsidering their shitty opinions. hope i don't have to see carl* ever again after these games are over

theyre fucking incredible. to be overlooked so unfairly for so long (cp in particular in my heart but IMPOSSIBLE to not see it for crystal as well, both such phenomenal players) & then receive literal death threats after peacefully protesting while carl* & other white teammates do nothing or make it worse …

on one hand, that’s just a compact example of how the uswnt has always been, & how ussf has always backed it up. (beyond that, a compact example of white feminism in general — focused on capital only w/ no class & race solidarity, & full literal & metaphysical allegiance to a settler colonial empire).

on the other hand, it’s 2021, & i think it’s becoming increasingly clear that it’s impossible to just function with that. i can’t imagine the deep trauma, even thru years of microaggressions (& like, let’s be real, probably some overt aggressions) that cp & crystal have faced. the resiliency & grace they have is mind blowing. even ussf having both of them be the ones to do a presser & address simone + mental health … the labor continues to be on Black women

i rly do stand by that some of the lack of cohesion has to come down to that, & rightfully so. i couldn’t be a functional teammate w carl* or many others, including staff as well. even if it’s an underlying feeling, there’s no real solidarity & no real safety. deshaun harrison writes a lot about how you can’t self-love or self-care your way out of ontological or systemic violence, & it rly is becoming impossible to ignore, even if it’s just the way the body reacts to things (& performs, in sport).

& i know it also might seem silly but i don’t doubt that some discussion may have been had, at least w some ppl, after the friendlies. tobin (himbo, doing her best i rly think so lol) did the anthem at that game but then didn’t at the olympics. she’s a good example of someone who seems to listen & learn, even when she might mess up sometimes. she’s grown a lot, & ofc it isn’t abt the white players at all but there is something to be said for someone who stands in real solidarity helping to shift that ontological & systemic violence (sometimes even physically, when u see white players actually literally not doing the anthem).

so yah i know that not many ppl will have this take or even rly be thinking abt it but to me the olympics have been a huge microcosm of anti-Blackness & especially misogynoir & transmisogynoir — & the way that that Does impact the mental health & holistic wellbeing of Black women athletes. i don’t know, obviously, the personal experiences or feelings of cp & crystal, & they seem to be so gracious always, but the actions white players, staff, & the federation have taken for the entirety of their careers have to have some weight, however that might manifest; in addition to this racist settler colonial empire they live in. cp isn’t like formally out but we also all know, so i’m sure there’s some compounded trauma of being Black & queer (however she specifically identifies u know). i just … truly can’t imagine. it doesn’t surprise me there’s not a lot of joy there.

big takeaway: protect, believe, uplift Black women, uswnt & so far beyond. & also let Black women respond to trauma — which sometimes means taking a break. resting. if cp retires to have a family, i’ll be so happy for her bc she’s going to be so happy & no longer in this obviously toxic environment. i love watching her play, i have loved watching her play for a decade, but there’s so much more to her life than sport. it’s clear she knows that & finds tremendous peace in that

#uswnt #time for a nap #i could go on abt this forever & like the surveillance + punishment of Black femme bodies in sport but #there are great resources by Black femmes so (not specifically abt sport) but #whew !!!!#anyway i love them & a bronze would be great #also the olympics were created by an actual nazi for eugenic purposes so lmfao alright

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