#that they let the iPad babysit their kids so they can rest. It’s the whole system man. It’s fucked.)

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Just applied for a summer childcare position (like for a camp type thing) that pays 20–28 dollars an hour based on qualifications (I should be towards the end of that scale because I work in a school; and the only requirement the job lists is to be 16 and have experience with children). So hopefully they’ll consider me. That would be wonderful.

#I hate applying for jobs so much. Everyone uses a different website that makes you sign up for newsletters that clog your email #that you have to manually unsubscribe to #But yeah that’s way more than I get paid as a para lol #which is kind of sad because being a para or teacher is a lot more strenuous and complex than supervising kids during structured play #Because usually the kids enjoy stuff like rock climbing and swimming #so you don’t have to guide them through ten different layers of mental gymnastics to complete their work #or sometimes physically keep them from leaving the learning area after every problem they complete #(of course I do the last thing very gently; and I don’t like having to carry kids from under tables back to their seats #but they’re not going to learn anything if they stay underneath tables all day long… that kind of defeats the purpose of being in school. #I give a lot of verbal warnings before too. Some kids just refuse to learn all the time regardless of their mood because it’s funny to them #Anyway: Kids should not be playing video games past bedtime on a fucking Oculus Rift #Like seriously the tech withdrawal in some of these babies is palpable #Horrifying #Anyway this summer job will be a breeze if I get it #Hopefully no one will be begging me for chromebooks during rock climbing #(I know it sounds like I’m irritated with the kids; and I am. But it’s more irritation with their parents letting them become addicted #to iPads for the sake of convenience; and also frustration directed at capitalism that makes the parents so tired #that they let the iPad babysit their kids so they can rest. It’s the whole system man. It’s fucked.)

[oddshelbyout]

Flowers & Chocolates // John Shelby X Fem!Reader

Summary: On Valentine’s Day, your neighbour John asks you to look after his kids for a few hours and comes back with a gift you had been waiting for.

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2372

Author’s Note:

This is a modern au, my first one for Peaky Blinders. I wasn’t sure if I could write a modern fic for this well but I think this turned out to be pretty good. I had to give John’s kids names and it was really hard to decide, I hope they fit well.

This fic really made me get over my writer’s block. I wrote this in one sit and it just put my mood up so much. It’s really fluffy and exactly what I would want my Valentine’s Day to be like.

I hope you share Valentine’s Day with all of your loved ones and show them you appreciate their love. I also hope that this one shot makes you as happy as it made me while writing it. Enjoy <3

English is not my first language and I’m not always confident about my work so please let me know if I make any mistakes or anything I can fix in my writing.

You can ask to be added to my taglist. You can be tagged to works on a specific character or just any of my works. Please dm me or send your wish to my ask box if you’d like to be added.

Requests are open. You can request any Peaky Blinders related imagines or prompts for me to write. I’m a minor so I don’t take NSFW requests, please keep that in mind.

———————

It was Valentine’s Day. You were single once again and your date for the night was a bottle of cheap red wine.

None of your relationships lasted more than 6 months and you had been spending every Valentine’s Day alone for 3 years. You were convinced the relationship chapter of your life was closed for now.

That morning started like another Sunday morning. You got up, took a shower, made yourself coffee and called it breakfast. You scrolled through Instagram and pretended not to see all the couple posts.

You were actually really glad to be single. You had full freedom, not that a relationship would take it all away but being independant entirely made you feel good. Also all of your past relationships felt one sided and you hadn’t met the right person yet.

This Valentine’s Day was a bit different than the others because you weren’t upset about being single. You were actually upset about not being in a relationship with a specific someone.

That someone was your upstairs neighbour in the small apartment complex you lived in. His name was John and he had four kids. Yes, four kids.

You might ask why that information was so important and the answer is simple. You and John met just because he had kids.

All of the flats besides yours and John’s were rented by university students, that left you as the only choice to babysit John’s kids. You were working independently, you were a graphic artist and you were always at home. That was exactly what John needed.

One summer afternoon, your door knocked. You weren’t expected guests, you barely had them anyway. John stood before you, looked at you with his gentle eyes.

“I have no one, can you watch my kids for an hour?” was the first thing he had said to you. You were also too busy trying to understand who he was and didn’t notice four youngers hiding behind him.

You couldn’t say no. You loved children, you had two younger brothers but they were back in your hometown when you had moved to London. John just left you with the kids and left.

John had two daughters and two sons. Katie, Jocelyn, William and David. Katie was the oldest but definitely wasn’t the most mature one. Jocelyn and William were twins but looked nothing alike though they sounded a lot like each other. David was the youngest and somehow the most mature one.

The oldest was nine and the youngest one was six at the time you met them. They were extremely calm and none of them were troublemakers. They had great interest in your work and asked a lot of questions but also never bothered you.

You loved spending time with them and babysitting them. It has become a routine for you. John would drop them at least a few times a week. It was summer and the kids didn’t go to school. They were with you almost everyday.

You spent so much time with his kids that one day you even joked about getting paid. John had a better offer though. He promised you that he and the kids would make or buy you dinner every weekend to pay you back.

John was a good cook, you had only had take out for one of those dinners once and that was because he was sick. You had become almost like a family.

John was originally from Birmingham, his accent gave it away anyway but he had moved to London with a quick decision after his wife passed away. He had left his brothers and aunt behind in Birmingham but promised them that they’ll be okay.

John had told you that moving to London was the best decision he had taken. It was a new beginning for him and the kids. He was an engineer and London had more opportunities.

Even though you worked from home and didn’t quite reach the goals you had coming to London but it was your best decision too. Best decision after dumping your toxic ex.

Luckily for both you and John, you had formed a great friendship. The kids adored you. John was forever thankful for taking care of them.

That was all going to start changing when schools started and you saw them less and less. You were starting to feel like you didn’t appreciate your time with them enough.

You also realised you had feelings for John. That hurt more when one morning as the kids and him leaving home told you that they were moving. They were going to move out of their flat to a bigger place.

Your heart broke. You knew you’d see them from time to time but you thought it would never be the same warmth you had as neighbours.

That little heartache made Valentine’s Day harder. You could’ve opened your heart out to John and his little family you were introduced to. You had even joined that little family. Shared everything and became so close that you felt like you joined their family

After your coffee and your usual morning Instagram scrolling, you opened your laptop. You had to finish one job before the deadline. Your doorbell rang while you were deep down in work.

You went to the door knowing it was John. You hoped he would be alone. He was not, he had brought the kids again. You were happy to see them but you had one last hope to spend Valentine’s Day with John.

“Sorry Y/N, can you look after them for a few hours?” John said looking at you with puppy eyes. It almost felt like he was apologising for something and it wasn’t for making you look after his children.

“Sure!” you had said, trying to hide the subtle pain in your chest. “I downloaded a new game!” David said, waving his iPad carefully. You smiled You looked back to John, your smile had faded but his was as strong as it was a moment before.

You were hurting because him dropping them off on Valentine's Day meant only one thing. He was going on a date. He didn’t have a partner that you knew of and knew he would tell you if he did. It hurt you so much

“Going on a date?” you asked not being able to hold your curiosity back. “Oh no, just an errand.” John said and you just nodded.

You tried to reply back with a smile but it looked more like you were trying to hide your pain. “Alright, get in kids.” you told the children and John nodded.

“Alright Shelby Clan, I’ll be back in an hour.” John said and that made you genuinely smile. You found it very funny that he called them Shelby Clan. You knew it was the nickname for the whole family but it was still funny hearing him call four kids a clan.

“Bye daddy!” Jocelyn said waving, then they all got in. They ran to the living room which was also your office. “Y/N, are you really working on Valentine’s Day?” Katie asked. You chuckled nervously.

“Well, I’m not dating anyone, so yes.” you admitted and the kids giggled. “What are you laughing at?” you joked and they giggled more. “Would you want to date?” William asked.

“I think I would, if there was a right person.” you said after sitting on your chair. The kids sat on the ground and rested their backs on the side of the couch. David climbed on the couch instead, told you he was more mature.

“Even I am dating someone.” Katie said and Jocelyn gasped. “Who’s the lucky fella?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. All of them kept giggling, “He’s in my class, he bought me a cookie on friday.” Katie said with a big smile.

Watching them giggle and talk to you enthusiastically made your mood go up. You were actually feeling much better thanks to the Shelby Clan.

You went back to work while they were entertaining themselves with the new game David downloaded. The other siblings joined David on the couch too, lşke they should’ve done earlier.

You weren’t close to finishing the work and you were getting stressed about it. Your back started hurting from sitting. Also your stomach growled, reminding you that coffee doesn’t count as a meal.

“Are y’all hungry?” you asked the kids, hoping they would say yes. “Nope.” they all answered at once but Katie had more to say. “Dad said they’ll be cooking for us when he gets back.” they all nodded to Katie’s work.

“I’m eating on my own then.” you mumbled and stood up. “No Y/N, daddy’s cooking for you too.” William said and you smiled for a moment.

Your mind went full on panic mode. You questioned why he would cook for you after he comes back from a date. Even though he had said it wasn’t a date, your conscience didn’t trust his words.

You sat back at your seat but you didn’t want to keep working. The kids seemed so into that game that you also didn’t want to interrupt their fun. You went back to scrolling through Instagram and accepting your loneliness.

Soon the doorbell came to the rescue. You didn’t notice how much time passed so you didn’t think it would be John. You still believed he was on a date.

You opened the door. Your gaze first focused on John’s big smile, you didn’t even notice what he was holding in his hands.

“I’m back.” he said quietly, he was so quiet that you knew for some reason that he didn’t want kids to hear. That was when your gaze fell down from his lips to his hands.

He was holding a box of chocolate and a bouquet of red roses. You gasped and then smiled so big. “You bought me flowers and chocolates.” you said after licking your lips.

“I thought it was the appropriate time to.” John said, you looked at him not getting exactly what he was trying to say. You were so clueless.

“Appropriate time for what?” you asked and he just laughed. He thought you were joking but you were asking seriously. The fact that the corner of your lips were still curled had tricked him.

“I thought you were smarter.” he joked instead of directly answering your question. “Shut up you wanker, tell me!” you laughed after. “Wanker huh? I’m never telling you.” he replied and laughed so hard that you were sure the kids had heard already.

“Come on John Boy!” you said reaching for his hand. “At least give me the chocolates, I’m hungry!” you complained. He pulled them away from you. You laughed at each other, you felt like you were a teenager again.

“No seriously tell me, appropriate time for what?” you asked again, this time with a more serious face. He took a deep breath. He held onto the flowers and chocolates stronger.

“I think this is the appropriate time to ask you out.” John said and you nervously chuckled. You were so happy to hear that your feelings were mutual. You were also angry at yourself for not believing him when he said he had a date.

You two just smiled at each other like idiots without saying anything. At that moment nothing was real, you felt like you were floating in space and your only connection to earth was John.

“You’re asking me out?” you asked just to be sure. “Mhmm.” John nodded, “Y/N Y/L/N would you like to go out with me?” he properly asked. You giggled like a little girl.

“Yes, I will.” you said and hugged him. The corners of the chocolate box hurt you but it was worth it. Your hug was interrupted by Katie.

“Did you ask her out Daddy?” the ten year old asked, he nodded. “He did and now I’m hoping he’s gonna cook us dinner.” you told Katie, you really were hungry like a wolf.

John stepped inside with you. He left the flowers and chocolates on the kitchen counter. He immediately started cooking, you of course were going to help him.

“I hope you’re moving too far away, like the other side of London.” you confessed, that was a concern for you even before his interest in you was official.

“No, just a block away so the kids don’t have to change schools.” John said as he was cutting tomatoes. “A bigger place?” you asked, you were trying to get your own mind to justify the reason they’re moving for.

“Yes and you’re always welcome, nothing changes.” John said, he turned to you and smiled big. You returned his smile with a bigger one. Your eyes stuck at his lips, they looked so full and red. So kissable.

“Nothing changes.” you repeated and took a deep breath. He stopped cutting the tomatoes. He licked his lips, “Maybe some things can change.” he said and kissed you.

What a kiss it was. You weren’t in the children’s sight. It was the best kiss you ever had. With his lips touching yours and his tongue slipping into your mouth, both of you lost contact to earth. You were both floating in space, you didn’t even need air. As long as you had each other, you didn’t even have to have contact to earth.

You kissed for so long. You kissed like it was your last moment alive. You kissed with so much passion and you thought the heartache waiting for him gave you was totally worth it. When you finally parted, the only reason was that you were out of breath and you had a meal to cook.

Your Valentine’s Day was the exact opposite of what you expected. Even though you wouldn’t call what you and John had a relationship yet, you still weren’t alone on Valentine’s Day.

You had John with you who finally told you he wanted to date you. You had Katie, Jocelyn, William and David. You had your little new family. Now you were sure that you had joined their family for real. You hoped you all would be happy for the rest of your lives.

#john shelby #peaky blinders #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders x reader #john shelby x y/n #peaky blinders x y/n #john shelby x you #peaky blinders x you #john shelby oneshot #peaky blinders oneshot #john shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fanfic #joe cole

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

Bring your Daughter to Court Day and Dad Friends

Summary: Rafael tries to multitask, miscommunicating the date he direly needs a sitter to Lucia, which means Catalina has to accompany him to court last minute. He manages to maintain his serious demeanor as well as he can, rewarding the well behaved little one with ice cream and a trip to the park. Suddenly, Rafael realizes he doesn’t have dad friends, and the opportunity arises to gain one. 

Pairings: Rafael Barba x OC

First Part - Second Part -Third Part - Fourth Part - Fifth Part - Sixth Part

A/N: This installation also partially based off of @teamsladsandgents​ ask a couple weeks ago that Down A Sitter was based on.

How had his mother forgotten she was supposed to babysit? Apparently, it was because Rafael Barba sent March 18 instead of 8, probably while he was making Catalina’s lunch and thinking that was the time for an email. Now, his mother was in Florida with Enrique, and he was without a sitter because Rebecca, Al, and Rodney were on the trip together. He could probably take her to Olivia’s, have Lucy watch her, but there wasn’t time to do that and make it to the courthouse. Lucia lived too far away. That left him with one option, and it was one he wasn’t sure he liked.

It was another defense case, a pillar of the community who killed his daughter’s abuser. It was all heat of the moment; the bastard had shown up on his step looking for Brendon’s daughter, the one he’d raped and left nearly dead. The other women? The ones he hadn’t dated? They hadn’t been lucky enough for the nearly. In minutes, he’d shot him, calling the police on himself. Olivia had convinced him to take it. And now it looked like he’d have company.

“Mija, how good can you be if papi brings you to work?” Her eyes lit up as she looked up at him.

“I can be so good, papi! I’ll help.”

“I’d just need you to be very, very quiet. That’ll be the best.”

“But I want to help.”

“You have to protect papi’s briefcase,” he fibbed, thankful selective defense work meant he just needed the file within it.

“I can,” she nodded seriously. He fastened her into her car seat, kissing her forehead and getting to the courthouse. He was grateful he could transition the necessities to a less full suitcase, leaving behind spare pens and pads of paper and only taking the file, a couple of pens, snacks, a bottle, the ipad, and her coloring book and box of crayons. Consolidating made him feel less messy. Most people at the courthouse didn’t know the dad side of him, and even as he relaxed, he hadn’t quite shaken the reputation he earned as a prosecutor. Now, he was clad in one of his dark three piece suits with a bright tie and suspenders, just like everyone was used to, the same briefcase in his hand. What they weren’t used to was the little girl with his eyes settled on his hip, clad in bright pink leggings and a white sweater with her arms wrapped tight around her father’s shoulders.

“Can I help you with something?” he asked, brow raised as he shifted Catalina to walk through the metal detector. Her blanket was clutched in her hand from the car still, and she held it from the floor, carefully walking through.

“Cute kid,” the guard asked. This was one who’d been here forever, and he seemed surprised. 

“Thank you.” He picked Catalina up again, briefcase by his side. He’d developed more muscle definition in his arms than he’d ever had since Rebecca went back to work. Catalina refused to walk, and he enjoyed fatherhood too much to make her. 

“If you’re good until we leave, we’ll get the biggest sundae you’ve ever had, mija,” he reminded her during an empty stretch of hallway. Catalina nodded seriously up at him, and he smiled more fondly than he intended, nodding to his client. He’d sent a text of warning, but the older man just gave him a grin.

“Taylor was a daddy’s girl too. Thank you, Mr. Barba. I know you could have tried to continue this.”

“I don’t want to draw this out for you anymore, I assure you. If it means unorthodox company, so be it. We may be waiting for a while.” 

He settled the coloring book on his briefcase, and Catalina sat on the bench beside it, using it like a makeshift desk. He entrusted Brandon to watch her while he stepped to the clerk.

“How long is the wait running for The People vs Aerie?” he asked, and he remembered why he didn’t like this one.

“Who’s the cutie?” she asked, popping her gum as she slowly looked at the docket.

“I asked a question,” he said impatiently. He didn’t want this day to be about his child. He wasn’t even sure he liked sharing her with work. The divide, save the friendships he’d made, was too deep. Fin, Amanda, Liv, and Carisi were one thing. Everyone else? He was fine without them. 

“Geeze, I’m just wondering if she’s your niece or somethin’. It’s hot seeing a man with a kid.”

“She’s my daughter. Her mother is out of town and there was miscommunication with the sitter.”

“I didn’t know you were married, counsellor.”

“Please just give me an estimate.”

“Couple hours. I’ll bump you as far up as I can.”

“Thank you.”

He turned to see Catalina chatting happily to Brandon, and he thought it might be a blessing she was here. Brandon hadn’t been handling things well. Sure, he was handling things better than Rafael had; he let his wife and daughter be there for him. But he was also treating himself as less worthy now, grappling with the reality that he’d ended a life even if he didn’t regret doing it. He’d confided in Rafael as they prepped that he worried he was never going to be good again. That’s when Rafael did something that confirmed the change in him: he was vulnerable with him. They talked about something not many people had in common. Ending a life changes you, and though they did it for different reasons, both felt they’d done what they needed. 

“She’s smart as hell,” Brandon chuckled, watching Catalina color. “And looks exactly like you.”

“I’m very fortunate. Her, not so much,” he joked, hand resting on her back as he sat back down so she was between the pair of them. 

“Cute co-counsel,” Carisi said, stopping by. 

“Mr. Sonny!” Catalina grinned, and Rafael almost grinned. Carisi, while Rafael would always give him hell, attended their church, was overall a good guy and attorney, and had become one of Catalina’s chosen few during playdates with Jessie and Billie Rollins. He’d even been babysitter one Saturday night to give Rebecca and Rafael a night off, so he was developing soft spot for the young ADA. 

“Cat!” he grinned, leaning down and hugging her. Catalina didn’t let go, and Sonny put his briefcase down to hold her for a minute. “What are you doing here?”

“Protecting papi’s briefcase!” Catalina spoke well for her age, but he was going to miss the staccato of her toddler chatter. Carisi and the abuelitas and the squad could all understand her easily. They all had enough experience with kids. There had always been a delay between her words and his replies at first. Words would break up or run together, and he’d have to process things. Now it didn’t matter how she strung the noises together; he got it as easily as Rebecca.

“Wow, big responsibilities, kiddo. I gotta go to court. I’ll see you soon, okay?” he grinned, ruffling Catalina’s hair before she climbed back to the bench and leaned against Rafael. He was proud that his daughter hurried to his side when she wanted protection from the strange place and people around them. It made him feel like he was doing something right. The clerk, as annoying as she was, did get them moved up, and Rafael carried Catalina in, setting her on the bench directly behind his seat. After a few moments, she got nervous, standing and leaning against the bannister as everyone got settled. Rafael quietly urged her to sit as everyone settled in, looking over the file before him. She didn’t, looking around at the busy courtroom, and he set his mouth in a line, picking her up and fighting the urge to smile as her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her head came to rest on his shoulder.

“Do you need a continuance, Mr. Barba?” the judge asked. He’d been in front of this judge before. Last time, it was as a prosecutor in the Martha Hobbs case. He supposed that was why there was a tone of amusement in his voice. There goes whatever reputation he had left, but it didn’t bother him like he expected. 

“Not at all,” he said breezily. Suddenly, he realized he’d perfected that parental stance. The one where fingers laced around the toddler on his hip, but he could still take back a hand to turn pages and write notes. He’d always thought it was some kind of magic when Liv did it with Noah. “Shall we move ahead with Mr. Aerie’s arraignment?”

“Of course. Nothing unusual here.” Rafael fought the urge to roll his eyes, cutting his eyes to the ADA for this case covering a laugh. He was just glad it wasn’t Carisi this time.

“He’s weird,” Catalina whispered, well aware of how to keep her voice quiet enough only her father could hear her. He squeezed her gently, the corner of his mouth tugging up. Soon enough, Brandon was being escorted to pay bail, and Catalina had commented on the whole affair. She’d done much better than he’d expected, so he knew he’d be taking her for ice cream. His biggest worry had been the courtroom with it’s crowded benches, but she’d settled in just fine on his hip. 

It was still strange to him the way he could be a source of comfort for her, and he felt the weight of responsibility in the best way. She trusted him implicitly, looked for him when she needed comfort. Sure, she’d leave his side for a friend, but she’d always want to come back and climb onto his lap. It struck him again how unimaginable his father’s behavior was. In fact, he’d thought about it a lot as he took care of Catalina, especially the past few days with Rebecca gone. His first instinct with her was never anger. Occasional frustration with a tantrum, but she was learning to understand the world and needed him to make some part of it safe and consistent, not scary and volatile.

“Bye Mr. Aerie,” she said softly as they parted ways, Brandon’s wife ecstatic to get him home. Taylor was still in the hospital, and they’d be spending the night by her side. This case made him wish he could keep Catalina with him forever, safe from the kind of people he’d seen in his tenure at SVU. She wrapped around his knees on the steps of the courthouse as he answered questions. Media moved on, and they didn’t want to examine him anymore. They just wanted the statement and to follow Brandon into the waiting car. He would’ve held his daughter close, but he didn’t want her face plastered on the news. Rafael didn’t leave the Aeries until the SUV’s door closed, Catalina’s hand held in his. Once they were gone, he scooped her up and started towards the ice cream parlor he knew was only a couple of blocks away.

“You were very good today, mija,” he smiled gently, kissing the top of her head. “I think we ought to go for a walk and get you some ice cream.”

“Really?” she asked, and her smile was wide enough he could not say no if he wanted.

“Really,” he nodded, laughing as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Gracias, papi!”

A long time ago, he would have tried to maintain the composure and seriousness from inside the courthouse until he was far from where anyone could see him this relaxed. Now he was adjusting his briefcase, as his daughter told him all about what she wanted on her ice cream. She wouldn’t take a nap that afternoon after the amount of sugar he was about to give her, but he had a feeling the grin he’d get, her face covered in melted chocolate and ice cream, would be worth it.

“Ms. Olivia!” Catalina’s voice made him follow her gaze, seeing Liv making her way to the courthouse. 

“So that’s how you got Brandon moved up the docket.”

“I added a one to the date when I texted mami to babysit while Becs is gone,” he said, mouth set in a line again. He didn’t like the fact this story was both unavoidable and going to be told forever.

“So Cat got to come to court?”

“Al and Rodney are with Becs. Mami is in Florida.”

“I was so good,” Catalina said proudly. “And Mr. Brandon got bailed.”

“Recognizance didn’t work?” she asked.

“He has the means to flee. But the bail is minimal. We’re going to get ice cream.”

“Because I was so good,” Catalina added, face serious as she nodded.

“You were, mija. Say bye to Oliva.” 

Soon, they were sitting at a table in the ice cream shop, and there was far more ice cream in front of Catalina than Rebecca would ever approve of. He’d originally said one scoop, any toppings, but then she asked with wide eyes if she could get three flavors. Normally, he’d try to say no, but not today. She’d been good at the courthouse, plus he was the one she inherited her sweet tooth from. They’d gotten four scoops and every topping she wanted with an agreement she’d share with papi. He’d almost teared up when she said I always share with papi. Almost. But now he was taking a picture of them together, trying to decide how much he hated that he took selfies now. But, he only took selfies like this, of him sitting in a low booth with Catalina beside him and the massive sundae between them. Surely, that didn’t count? He sent it to Rebecca anyway.

Guess who was an angel in court. We miss you, mami.

Certainly not the hot one. Proud of her. I miss you both terribly.

What time do you get home tonight?

Eleven. The boys are dropping me off. And I’m guessing that sugar means you’ll both be up.

I’ll be up either way. Te amo, hermosa. I hope the trip has been good to you.

I love you, handsome. It has been, but I miss my family.

“Should we video call mami when we get home?” he asked when sticky hands had been cleaned as they walked back to the car. He saw familiar faces passing them by, giving nods as they approached the courthouse they’d parked near. 

“Yeah!” she nodded eagerly, and Rafael could see the energy hitting her. 

“Or maybe we call her from the park? Then you can play! Run around and swing and slide.” He was humming each activity, pressing kisses to the top of her head. He hadn’t taken her to Central Park yet, and he’d been to the Billy Johnson Playground on the east side with Olivia and Noah when she’d needed a friend. It looked like an old part of the nature around it, making him think of the stories Catalina was so fond of. She liked gnomes and cottages in the woods lately, and the little park fit right in. Plus, the focus was more on what she could run on and climb, but still with the swing he could push her on when she got tired. When she did get tired, he could rest with her at the little gazebo and feel secluded and out of the city.

Maybe they needed a vacation.

“Yes!” she giggled, hugging his neck. He smiled, stopping at the car to order an Uber. To and from court was all the driving he intended to do. He traded his briefcase for the diaper bag, leaving his vest and blazer now that the day had warmed up and tucked one of the blankets Rebecca insisted was in case of emergency in the diaper bag. 

“We’re going to a really special park.”

“Why’s it special?”

“You know the pretty one the zoo is at?”

“Yeah?”

“Papi knows a cool playground there. It looks like gnomes live there.”

“That is cool,” she said, her excitement apparent. He loaded them into the car, ever grateful to not have to drive, and tipped generously when the driver was kind enough to drop them off away from the zoo. As soon as they were in the park, Catalina wanted down, her hand in his as they walked along the path.  When they got to the little gazebo, he stopped, and Catalina looked up at him quizzically.

“Want to call mami from here?” She lit up, pulling herself to stand on the bench he sat on. Rebecca was packing up, he knew, so he wasn’t surprised when she answered quickly, blowing her hair from her face. When she fully registered it was them, she grinned. 

“Mama!” 

“Catalina!”

“Becs!”

“Raf!”

Rebecca was relieved to see the day really must be going well. Catalina was giddy, blue from what Rebecca guessed was cotton candy ice cream staining the cuff of her sweater as she pushed her hair back. Rafael was smiling, the one that showed his teeth and crinkled his eyes. They still hadn’t been home, but the image of Rafael in the dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his tie and suspenders featuring the same shade of pink as their daughters pants was perfection. She wasn’t sure he realized how often he did it, but she didn’t want him to stop matching their daughter so she’d never tell. 

“You guys seem like you’re having fun! Maybe it’s good papi can’t type.” This time Rafael laughed because he was kind of thankful for his snafu. This weekend was only his third or fourth time out and about with Catalina for more than a trip to the park or run to the grocery store. This weekend, they’d gone to a museum and church on their own, and now they were having another daddy daughter day. He liked it. 

“Papi and I had...lunch....that wasn’t ice cream. And now we’re at a special playground!”

“The Billy Johnson Playground at Central Park. I’ll take pictures for you, mami.”

“You two will have fun. You’ll have to show it to me one day.”

“Secret park!” Catalina said seriously and his smile grew broader, arm around her middle. 

“Maybe we can show mami this part before?”

“Deal.” They said their goodbyes soon enough, Rebecca heading to the airport. He watched as Catalina walked just a couple of steps ahead, looking back over her shoulder to be sure he was there. Her eyes lit up when she saw the park, and Rafael was glad to see there were other kids her age there. They hadn’t quite found her a group of friends her own age; Fin’s grandson, Jaden, was one of only a couple, and Rafael didn’t know the other two well. He stayed close to her as she hurried to the climbing set, taking pictures and sending them on to Rebecca. Mostly, moms and nannies were there, and he felt slightly out of place. When he was in groups of parents, he always found himself wondering who knew. Shifting awkwardly, he nodded towards them and went back to watching his daughter with a fond smile.

She’d found two sisters, one her age and one who looked to be about five. The older girl was helping the younger two navigate the playset, leading them to slides and climbing nets easily. Each time Catalina looked unsteady on her feet, which was often given her age, he wanted to scoop her up, but apparently it was important to let her take a tumble or two. Rafael didn’t like that idea or the fact that they had to keep bandages in the diaper bag. Luckily, the time she did fall, landing on her rear with her legs out, the older of her new friends laughed and helped her up. 

“I’m guessing white sweater is yours?” a man asked, and he chuckled. 

“Yeah.”

“Her new friends are mine. Flower pants and leopard dress.”

“They made friends fast.”

“Is she into princesses and fairy tales?”

“Yeah. Especially gnomes right now?”

“Sarah is my eldest. She’s obsessed with Fairies.”

“Makes sense. Catalina like fairies too.”

“She and Megan look the same age?”

“Two and a half?”

“Right on,” he chuckled. “I’m Hank.”

“Rafael. I think we’re the only dads here today.”

“Yeah. It’s normally just me during the day when we’re here. I’m a writer, so I can stay home while my wife’s at work. You’re all dressed up though. I’m guessing this isn’t your normal day?”

“I’m an attorney, but I work from home.”

“How does that work?” 

“I work with the Innocence Project. Meetings with defendants are Mondays. I can do the paperwork and brief writing from home. Then court when needed. I take defense work on occasion, like today. Sitter fell through so Cat had to come. My girlfriend is a teacher, and she snuck off with her friends for a long weekend.”

“My wife’s a school librarian. We picked those educators, huh?”

“Apparently.” It felt so normal to be talking to him, and Rafael thought to himself maybe he could have a dad friend now. His friends from Harvard and the DA’s office and SVU had kids, but they’d always have been work colleagues first. There was no erasing what they’d seen together, the tension over cases, the Householder case. Hank seemed nice enough, and they had similar lives. At least they could team up on park trips since it turned out their usual stomping grounds overlapped. 

God, Hank looked like a writer though. He had on a thick flannel over a t-shirt, and tattoos peaked out of the rolled up sleeves. Slim fit jeans and black sneakers, the cool kind not the functional kind, just rounded it out. He was tall and lanky and younger than him, and Rafael suddenly felt he could be Catalina, Megan and Sarah’s grandfather. Hell, he technically could. Still, he was new to this, and he supposed most men in their fifties weren’t settling down with a partner for the first time and raising their first child. Besides, Hank was probably still a little older than Rebecca.

“Megan scraped her knee,” Sarah said, running over to the two men, followed by Catalina holding the hand of teary Megan. 

“Shit-”

“Dad, that’s a bad word.”

“Shoot,” Hank corrected. “I forgot the bag.”

“I’ve got bandages. Princess ones,” Rafael said, digging the box from the diaper bag. “There’s neosporin in there too.”

“Thanks.” 

Catalina climbed on Rafael’s lap, and he could tell by how she laid back against him that he had succeeded; she was tired out. Rafael didn’t want to go yet, able to hear Hank saying they’d head home once Megan was patched up. Was making friends as an adult always so much like asking for a girl’s number was when he was younger? He hadn’t been a dad for long, only a few months. Maybe having someone other than Rebecca he could call during tantrums and long days would be good?

“Hey, before everyone heads out, maybe we can all meet at the park again sometime? The girls seemed to really get along.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Hank said, digging out his phone and handing it to Rafael. “Put your number in. I haven’t made many dad friends who aren’t also writers or don’t have traditional office jobs. We’re both basically house husbands.”

“Yeah. And it’s hard.”

“Easier than it was two years ago though, right? Five’s even easier.”

“I actually only found out I was a dad in December. It’s a long story. But it’s easier now than in January.”

“We’ll delve into that at the park later this week?”

“Perfect. Do you take insurance?”

“As long as you’ve hit your deductible. Send me the pictures of the girls, okay?”

“Will do,” he nodded as they walked towards the sidewalk. He’d ordered an Uber to take he and Catalina back to his car. Soon enough, he was cooking her dinner, watching her dance around the kitchen to the soft jazz he was playing, and Rafael was grateful for the break from Disney. Not having Rebecca’s return each evening made him appreciate even more how much she’d had to do to keep their daughter happy and healthy and safe for the last two years. He needed the time he’d had to heal, but he often wished he could go back and be here to help sooner. It was his own fault. Instead of pressing the guilt down like he used to, he let himself acknowledge it, tucking it to the side instead as he settled a bowl of macaroni in front of Catalina. Once she was tucked in, he put his feet on the coffee table, working on his laptop and only pausing to send Hank the pictures he’d snapped of the girls playing. He heard Rebecca at the door at eleven, just like she’d estimated, and he hurried to meet her. 

“Heya, handsome,” she grinned, and Rafael could feel the stupid grin split his face.

“Welcome home, hermosa,” he beamed, pulling her in and kissing her deeply. 

“Missed me?” she teased as she smoothed his hair.

“Terribly,” he nodded. “I’ve been spoiled to see you every day.”

“It seems like you and Cat had a good time though?”

“Yeah. We went to the Children’s Museum Saturday. Then Sunday was mass and lazy movies. Today was hectic, but good.”

“Yeah? You two seemed happy at the park. And ice cream for lunch.”

“We had a lot of fun at the park. She made friends with two girls, Sarah and Megan. They have a playdate Thursday.”

“Oh yeah?” she chuckled. “You finally click with the playground moms?”

“Hank. He’s a writer, and his wife is a school librarian. His girls are two and five. He’s home with them most of the time.” Rebecca couldn’t help but grin at how he tried to pretend it was just convenient. 

“That’s cool. I bet it could be nice talking to non-police or court affiliated people, hm? Maybe you two could grab a beer sometime.”

“We’ll see. He’s surprisingly nice to talk to. Sarah and Megan have the same tantrums.”

#rafael barba #rafael barba x oc #rafael Barba x reader #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu

[bentaylorrogerhardy]

Lily of the Valley - Part 4

Joe Mazzello! x Reader!

Summary: Being a young, single mom that worked full-time was hard. When you weren’t working, you were taking care of your five year old daughter, Lily. You had given up on dating after many failed attempts. That was until after a rough day of dealing with your ex boyfriend, your best friend introduced you to Joe.

Word count: 3,000

Warnings: EVERYTHING. Fluff, angst, cussing, insults, mentions of drinking and drug use, more fluff, mentions of pregnancy, MORE FLUFF. 

A/N: I am a PUDDLE AFTER WRITING THIS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY. 

(All other parts for this story are in my masterlist in my description!)

“Mommy!” Lily squealed, running out the door of Casey’s house and into your arms, “I missed you!”

“I missed you, too, my angel,” you smiled, holding her close and pecking her cheek, “did you have fun?”

“Uh, huh,” she giggled and nodded, “Aunt Casey’s house is so much fun.”

“Sounds like it,” you laughed, then looked up at Casey standing in the doorway, “thank you so much for watching her.”

“No problem at all,” she smiled back, “so, how was the date?”

“It went really well, actually,” you answered, nodding, “he’s a sweet guy, and cute, and funny.”

“Will there be a second date?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking,

“I hope so,” you said, feeling your cheeks turn red at the thought.

“Ooooh, someone has a cruuuush,” she cooed, causing you to snap back to reality and laugh.

“Okay, let me get out of here. I have to bring Lily to see Chad,” you said, and Casey let out a scoff.

“I know,” you sighed, “but, I told him he could see her today.”

“Mama, let’s go,” Lily whined, tugging at the hem of your shirt. You told Casey bye, then put Lily in the car, then headed to Chad’s house. You pulled into the driveway, the yard cluttered with junk, and weeds growing almost anywhere possible. Typical. You got Lily out of the car and headed up to the door and knocked.

“My girl!” Chad exclaimed when he opened the door, picking Lily up in his arms and kissing her cheek, “I missed you!”

“Hi, daddy,” she giggled, throwing her arms around his neck.

“You could clean up a bit,” you said, gesturing to the messy yard.

“Yeah, well you could do a lot of things, but we won’t go there,” he said, setting Lily down and she ran into the house.

“Okay, Mr. ‘I forgot to pick my kid up from school because I got shit faced the night before’,” you scoffed, shaking your head. “You should be lucky I’m even letting her come over to this pig pen you call a house.”

“You can leave, you know,” he said, going to shut the door, but you stuck your foot out to block it.

“I’ll be by later to get her,” you said.

“Okay. Whatever. Bye,” he said, finally shutting the door in your face. You let out a frustrated groan, then headed back to your car and called Jana.

“Hey, girl, heeeeey,” she said when she answered the phone.

“Are you busy right now?” you asked, turning out of the neighborhood and onto the main street.

“Nope. What’s up?” she asked.

“I just dropped Lily off with Chad and I need some girl time to calm down,” you sighed, “wanna get coffee?”

“Heck yeah,” she said, “I’m on my way.”

---

“What a fucking asshole.” Jana scoffed, shaking her head and proceeding to take a sip of her coffee. You fiddled with the spoon that was sitting in your cup, stirring it around and around until the cup had a whirlpool of coffee.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I just don’t understand how hard it is to make your house look presentable when you have a five year old.”

“Because he’s Chad, (Y/N),” she stated, “he’s just a dick. Always has been.”

“Guess so,” you sighed, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Anyway, in other news, and much more exciting news. A little birdy told me a certain someone really enjoyed last night and should be contacting you very soon about a second date,” she said, setting her coffee cup down.

“Really?” you answered, blushing yet again.

“But, you didn’t hear that from me,” she said, picking the coffee cup up again and taking a sip. You and Jana had been at the coffee shop for about 30 minutes before your phone started ringing. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard the first ring, then sunk when you saw the caller ID, then let out a frustrated groan, yet again.

“Yes?” you answered, resting your head in your hands.

“Hey, I need you to come get Lily.” Chad said.

“Why? She just got there,” you said. Jana looked on, raising an eyebrow at you in question, and you held up a finger to her.

“Well, something came up, and I have to leave,” he said. You pursed your lips in frustration and slammed a hand down on the table.

“Jesus Christ, you can’t even have her for a whole hour?!” you yelled. “What’s so important that you can’t spend time with her?!”

“Andrew and I are going out,” he said, “I’ll make it up to her another day; she looks miserable here, anyway.”

“I would be, too, if there was nothing for me to do,” you said, “I’m gonna be a minute, so you’ll have to wait.”

“Just come get her,” he sighed.

“Whatever, you piece of shit,” you spit out, hanging up before he could get the chance to say anything back in retaliation.

“Let me guess,” Jana started, “he has plans to go get drunk, or high, or both, with one of his friends, and he needs you to go get Lily.”

“Spot on,” you sighed, “poor Lils.”

“Baby girl doesn’t deserve him.” Jana said, shaking her head. Another 15 minutes went by, and your phone rang again. You let out, yet another, groan, but your mood quickly changed when you saw the caller ID. You turned the phone around and showed Jana.

Joe Mazzello.

“Oh my god,” she practically squealed, “answer!”

“Okay, okay,” you said, taking a deep breath, then answering the phone, “hello?”

“Hey, (Y/N),” Joe said, “it’s me. Joe.”

“Hey!” you smiled, your cheeks turning red, looking at Jana, who was waiting impatiently to find out what was being said. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he chuckled, “how about you?”

“I’m...good,” you said, nodding.

“So...about that second date,” he started, “are you free tonight?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am,” you said; Jana was growing impatient with excitement, hitting her hand against the table.

“Great,” Joe said, “um...I’ll pick you up around eight-ish?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you smiled, “I’ll send you my address.”

“Can’t wait, see you then,” he replied.

“Bye,” you said, hanging up the phone, then both you and Jana let out a loud squeal, causing everyone else in the coffee shop to turn around and look at the two of you, but neither one of you cared.

“So, you wanna babysit tonight?”

---

“C’mon, Lily. Time to go,” you yelled to her after arriving at Chad’s, stepping through the doorway and into the house.

“Yeah, you can come in,” Chad scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Shut up,” you said, picking Lily’s bag up off the floor.

“Why?” She asked, walking over to you, head cocked to the side in confusion.

“Daddy has to go somewhere,” Chad said, kneeling down to be eye level with her, “but, you can come over another day, okay?”

“You didn’t even tell her?” you whispered through gritted teeth, looking down at him. He shot you a quick glare, then looked back at Lily.

“Okay,” she sighed, taking your hand, “promise?”

“Of course,” he said, pulling her to him and giving her a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, “I love you, my Lils.”

“I love you, too,” she giggled. The two of you walked back out to your car and you loaded Lily in her seat then headed to your apartment.

“Did you have fun?” you asked her, looking back at her in the rear-view mirror.

“No,” she sighed, looking out the window, “daddy doesn’t have any toys for me.”

“I’m sorry, angel,” you frowned, “I’ll have to talk to him about that.”

“And he didn’t play with me, either,” she said, shrugging.

“I’ll talk to him, okay?” you said, feeling yourself grow angry at Chad, “but, hey! Guess who’s coming over tonight?”

“Who?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Aunt Jana! You remember Aunt Jana, don’t you?” you asked, “she always gets you candy and toys.”

“Yeah!” she gasped with excitement, “I’m so excited!”

“Mommy has to go somewhere again tonight, so she’s gonna watch you,” you said, pulling into your apartment complex and parking.

“Where you going, mama?” she asked as you got her out of the car.

“Out with a friend,” you answered, the two of you walking up to your apartment.

“Is it a booooy?” she giggled as you unlocked the door and stepped inside.

“What’s it to you, nosey?” you laughed, “Yes, it is.”

“Ewwww,” she giggled, and then ran off to her room.

---

“Absolutely not,” Jana said, standing in front of you with her arms crossed, “don’t wear that.”

“What’s wrong with it?” you asked, looking down at the outfit you had tried on; a white and blue striped shirt, short overalls, and brown sandals.

“It’s not...sexy enough,” she said, looking through your closet.

“But, it’s comfortable!” you said, looking at yourself in the mirror, “Lily, what do you think?”

“Boooo,” she said, not even looking up from her iPad as she laid on your bed, giving you a thumbs down.

“See?” Jana said, gesturing to her, then went back to looking through your closet.

“Okay, then you pick something,” you said, sitting down on the edge of your bed in defeat.

“This!” she said, pulling out a black and white striped romper with one hand, and a pair of black heels in the other, “it’s the perfect amount of sexy.”

“But, this is comfy,” you whined, taking the romper and shoes out of her hands.

“Go put it on!” she said, pushing you towards the bathroom. You shut the door behind you then changed into the outfit and walked out.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” she exclaimed, “that’s the one! Lily, what do you think?”

“Pretty!” she squealed, putting her iPad down, crawling to the edge of the bed, “I like it.”

“It’s settled, you’re wearing that,” Jana said. She helped do your hair and makeup, and just as you were finishing up, your phone started to ring.

“Oooooh, it’s Joooooe,” she cooed, handing the phone to you.

“Shut up,” you laughed, taking the phone out of her hand, “hello?”

“Hey, I’m outside,” Joe said, and hearing his voice made your heart flutter.

“Okay, I’ll be right out,” you said, then hanging up the phone. You looked at Jana and took a deep breath.

“You got this!” she said, putting her hands on your shoulders, “go have fun!”

“Okay,” you sighed, then knelt down to Lily’s eye level, “okay, I’m leaving. Be good!”

“Duuuh, I always am,” she said, throwing her arms around your neck and giving you a big hug, “I love you, mommy.”

“I love you,” you smiled, giving her a big kiss. You headed out of the door and down stairs to where Joe was waiting for you.

“Hey,” you smiled at Joe as you stepped into the car.

“Hey,” he smiled back, “you look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look handsome,” you replied, “so, where are we going?”

“I was just thinking some dinner, sit and talk, get to know each other better,” Joe suggested.

“Great,” you smiled, looking out the window. A few minutes later, Joe pulled up to a nice restaurant and parked the car. He got out, then walked over to your side of the car, opening the door for you, holding a hand out.

“Why, thank you,” you smiled, taking his hand in yours and stepping out of the car. The two of you walked hand in hand into the restaurant, and were almost immediately seated.

“So,” Joe started, “how long have you known David and Jana?”

“I’ve known Jana since high school, and David for only, like, two years,” you said, taking a sip of your water the waitress had brought you, “how do you know David?”

“He helped on the set of the movie I directed a few years ago,” he said, “great guy. Been friends ever since.”

“Oooh, a director?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, “they didn’t mention that.”

“Just a small film, no major motion picture, but still something I’m incredibly proud of,” he said, a smile beaming on his face. You could tell he absolutely loved talking about it, and could see his pride showing through, “but enough about me. I wanna know about you.”

“I’m not anything special,” you shrugged, “just work, work, work. Graduated high school early, went to college, got a nursing degree, now I work at the hospital with two of my best friends.”

“Well, that seems like something special,” he said, focusing on you as you spoke. Yeah, you graduated early, but it was because you had a baby to tend to.

The waitress came over and took both of your orders. You ordered chicken parmesan, while Joe ordered fettuccine alfredo. A few minutes later, she brought the food to your table, and the two of you started eating.

“Jana mentioned it took awhile for you to start dating again,” Joe mentioned, twirling a piece of pasta on his fork, “may I ask why?”

“I guess now’s a good time to get it all out there,” you sighed, setting your fork down.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said, “I’m just happy I’m the one you chose to go out with.”

“No, no, it’s fine. This way, you can decide if you want to see me again, or run away,” you sighed, then began, “I was 17, in high school. I thought I met the love of my life, Chad, the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We were just two kids, crazy in love, hormones running rampid. I...got pregnant, and while I was pregnant, he cheated on me, and me, being a stupid teenage girl, who was scared, and had her whole life planned out with this baby I was carrying, and Chad, I took him back. He apologized, said it was a mistake, told me it would never happen again. I was stupid and believed him. Well, it happened again, and again, and again, and each time, I took him back. The baby came, and I thought it was all...perfect. That’s when the drinking, and the drugs came along. Being young and living in LA, you do stupid shit. I was at my house, taking care of our baby girl, Lily, while he was out doing lines of blow and getting drunk every single night. I finally had enough, ended it with him for good; finished high school, while he dropped out, got my associates degree in nursing, have my own apartment, and raising my five year old all on my own. He still doesn’t have his shit together, and if it was up to me, he wouldn’t even have visitation rights. I went on a few dates up until a few months ago, and every person who I went out with never called back after I told them about Lily. So, I understand if I never hear from you aga-,”

“Why wouldn’t you hear from me again?” he asked, reaching across the table and taking one of your hands in his.

“Because everyone is always scared off. I wanted to give you the option,” you said. He let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

“I really like you, (Y/N), and I want this to go somewhere,” he said, “I’m glad you finally could see you’re worth more than that.”

“Yeah, well, getting cheated on kinda ruins your self esteem for a while,” you laughed slightly.

“Yeah,” he sighed, a sad smile forming on his face, “I, sadly, can relate. My ex girlfriend cheated on me, with my best friend.”

“Oh, Joe. I’m sorry,” you frowned, squeezing his hand, “you don’t deserve that.”

“Neither do you,” he said, “like I said, I want to see where this can go; where we can go.”

“I’m just making sure I’m hearing you right,” you laughed, “I have a five year old, and you’re fine with it, correct?”

“Absolutely,” he said, “let me take both of you out. I’d love to meet her.”

Hearing those words come out of this beautiful mans mouth, you could have melted right in that chair. When the two of you finished eating, Joe paid the bill and you headed out to his car and back to your apartment.

---

“This was fun,” he said when the two of you reached your door, taking both of your hands in his.

“It was,” you smiled, “best date I’ve had in awhile.”

“Well, I feel honored,” he chuckled. He let go of one of your hands and brushed a loose piece of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, resting his hand on your cheek. You gazed into his chocolate brown eyes, and he gazed back at you.

“Um...this may be an odd question, but…” he whispered, clearing his throat, “can I kiss you?”

“Nothing’s stopping you,” you shrugged. In an instant, his lips were crashing against yours and it could have been mistaken for the 4th of July. Sparks, fireworks, everything was flying. You don’t know how long the two of you were left standing there, but when you pulled apart, all you knew is that you wanted nothing more than the feeling of his lips against yours again.

“I’ll call you later?” he asked, starting to walk away, still holding on to one of your hands.

“I’ll be waiting,” you smiled, and his hand finally disconnected from yours as he made his way back to his car. You fumbled with your keys, finally unlocking the door and stepping inside, finding Jana and Lily, passed out on the couch, candy wrappers galore, and Cinderella playing in the background. You quietly made your way to your room as you listened to the soft music from the movie playing.

“So this is love, mmm

So this is love

So this is what makes life divine...”

Tags:  @deakyspuff @okiegirl24 @joalsglasses @toger-raylor @panicatttckiss @richiethotzierz @cheeseedreams47

#joe mazzello #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello imagine #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #borhap #fanfic #bentaylorrogerhardy

[fulltimepancreas]

J’s Diagnosis Story

February 16, 2020.

Diagnosis day.

Diabetes day.

D-day.

The day all of our lives changed forever.

I spend a lot of time thinking about this day. Will this memory ever fade? A year later and yet it’s still so fresh. How long until I can drive past the ER again without a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and my eyes all welled up with tears? I have to look away because it still hurts too much.

It’s Sunday. My son J wakes up again with a stomach ache. It’s become a regular thing, so I don’t give it a second thought. Usually, once he’s fully awake and starts to play, he’ll get distracted pretty quickly, and forget. So when he tells me that he isn’t feeling well, I brush it off. In hindsight, it should have been one of many red flags. I missed it. I missed all of them.

We get a phone call from my sister-in-law who wants to throw an impromptu birthday party for our niece later in the afternoon. So I ask my older daughter, K, to babysit J while my husband and I rush to the store first thing to buy a birthday gift. I’m not at the store very long when I get a text from my daughter telling me that J has thrown up. Historically, whenever J is coming down with a cold or a stomach bug, the first sign that something is wrong is always a low fever and vomiting. So at this point, I’m thinking it is probably one of those two things, and so I finish up at the store and rush back home to take care of him. There’s no fever, but it's obvious he's coming down with something. He doesn’t have much energy or an appetite at all. I encourage him to hydrate and rest, and he does so for several hours. I decide to send my husband and daughter to the party without us. While they are gone, I offer him a popsicle (it’s blue and that’s important later) but not long after, he throws up again. The only thing he can keep down is water. After getting him all cleaned up, I leave the room for just a moment to carry some soiled towels to the l laundry. When I left him, he had been sitting up, propped up on pillows on my bed and he was watching tv. I’m gone for maybe 30 seconds, but when I return he has fallen asleep. Red flag number two. I text my husband to let him know what’s going on but tell him not to rush home. Since J is sick, sleep is good for him. I tuck him in, snuggle up next to him, and watch some tv while he sleeps. It doesn’t seem like too much time passes before I notice that he’s breathing differently. Is he breathing louder? Is it faster? I recall something about babies and fevers and breathing heavily so of course, I start to google. I don’t find any information that satisfies me, but I am prone to anxiety and I manage to convince myself that I am overreacting. Some time passes. He sleeps and his “different“ breathing continues but finally my husband and daughter return home. I’m starting to worry, and I express these concerns to my husband. And although we both think I’m probably overreacting for just a stomach bug, we decide to have him see a doctor. It’s late afternoon on a Sunday, so his doctor’s office is closed. My husband suggests urgent care. Now, my kids are healthy. Seriously, they hardly ever get sick. And for a cold or a stomach bug, I almost always just handle that at home. So when we get to the urgent care that’s closest to our house they tell us that they don’t take our insurance and they send us somewhere else. I carry my 70+ lb son back to the car because he is weak and tired and can hardly stand and we drive across town while my husband calls a different urgent care that requires us to make an appointment first. By some kind of crazy miracle, they fit us in for an appointment right about the time that we get there. We aren’t in the waiting room for too long. Maybe half an hour. He watches his iPad, alternating between my arms and my husband’s. This is very strange behavior for him because he’s almost too big to be held anymore but he insists. He also requests water to drink several times and dozes off a few times while we wait. The doctor finally comes in. He’s an older gentleman, friendly enough. He examines J pretty thoroughly, while I’m holding him in my arms and decides on a diagnosis of a stomach virus. He prescribes some anti-nausea meds and sends us on our way. He walks us to the checkout and I’m struggling again to carry J and he’s awake so I set him down for a moment to rest my arms. This moment probably saved his life. J kind of stumbles and it’s clear he is too weak to walk. The doctor sees this and asks us to wait a minute. He asks us to come back into the exam room and says he wants to check one more thing. He asks the nurse to get a glucose reading on my son. The nurse leaves the room to go and get supplies. At this moment, I have one of those literal light bulb epiphany moments like they show in cartoons. Suddenly and overwhelmingly everything clicks in to place and I just... know. His blood sugar is 300+. “Is that bad?”, we ask, and they only tell us that it’s high. The doctor says he’s sending us to the ER but he leaves the room to call ahead and tell them we’re coming. Diabetes, I say to my husband as the three of us are left alone in the exam room. Oh. My. God. He drinks so much water all the time. I have been calling him my “little fish out of water” for months. He wakes up all hours of the night to ask for more water. He pees constantly. He even wets the bed sometimes ‘cause he drinks so much. He’s lost weight recently but, hey... he was a little chubby to start with so that wasn’t really a bad thing. His stomach always hurts. Diabetes. I should have known. I should have figured this out. Oh. My. God. The nurse brings a wheelchair for J since I’m struggling to carry him. My husband brings the car around while I check out and we finally head to the ER. By some other kind of crazy miracle, the ER is in an adjacent building sharing a parking lot with the urgent care we are at. A few minutes later, we walk into the ER and sign in and sit down in the waiting room. Almost immediately we are called back. I’m carrying him the whole way and finally get to set him down on the hospital bed. Several hospital staff rush in and out of the room. Everything is a blur. He’s getting an IV in both of his arms and blood drawn and all sorts of things are being done but he seems pretty indifferent to everything and just keeps dosing off. And then at some point, there’s a bit of a fuss... because J’s lips are kind of blue (because of that popsicle I fed him earlier when I was trying to get him to hold something down). This becomes a bit of a running joke with the doctors later on. Blue lips generally signify a lack of oxygen so they were kind of baffled before I remembered to tell them about the popsicle. At some point, I look down at him and I start to cry. I’m freaking out. I’m scared and I’m sad and I know “diabetes” but that’s the only thing I know and there are so many unanswered questions and I can’t hold it in anymore. A nurse is putting in an IV (god, does he really need another one?) or something... I honestly have no idea because all the moments are blurring together but J sees me. And he asks that nurse, “Why is my mommy crying?” He tells my son, “It’s ok. Your mommy is just worried about you.” And I realize at this moment that he needs me to be strong for him right now more than anything. And when I tell you that I didn’t cry again (in front of him at least) the entire week we spent in the hospital, it is the truth. That’s significant for me because I’m usually an emotional wreck about every little thing. My husband gets on the phone to make arrangements for our older daughter to stay with family since they’re telling us we will be admitted to the hospital. She also suffers from anxiety so when we speak to her, I tell her as little as possible and I downplay the severity because I need her to stay calm and not lose it. I tell her everything is ok. I’m lying to her but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t think about that right now. We are at one of the smaller ERs, so after getting him all hooked up and stable and everything, they tell us that we’ll be taking an ambulance to the big hospital across town. Neither of us has ever been in an ambulance before and the EMTs are very friendly and cool so J is at ease. He’s awake for most of the ride and we talk about J’s favorite video games and the EMT shows him cool stuff in the ambulance. Later, he tells me it’s pretty much the only thing he remembers from the whole day. At the hospital, we go straight to the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) where we will spend the next week. So much new information is thrown at us. So many words and numbers we won’t yet understand. (What is bolus? What even is a normal blood sugar number?) At some point, I hear that his blood sugar is in the 600s. I somewhat understand that he’s receiving both insulin to bring down his blood sugar and also glucose in his IVs at the same time because they have to bring it down slowly to prevent his brain from swelling. I don’t get any sleep, but luckily J is still exhausted and he spends most of the first few days asleep. Because once every hour, the nurses come in and they finger prick him to test his blood sugar. By the time we get home, there isn’t a single spot on any of his little fingertips that aren’t covered in bruises. The next morning, my husband brings K up to visit, and that cheers J up a little. But mostly he sleeps. He cannot walk to the bathroom or even stand up. And it’s like 48 hours before he’s even allowed to try and eat anything. While he sleeps, I read and then reread this book they’ve given me which is basically a starter guide to diabetes. When I’m done with that, I google and study everything I can find about diabetes. Looking back on it, before this, I really didn’t know anything at all about diabetes. And everything

I thought I knew about it was just misconceptions or flat out wrong. A constant stream of doctors and hospital staff are coming in and out of his room. We meet his endocrinologist, and the first thing he says is, “Yes, he has type one diabetes. Yes, I’m sure. No, you didn’t do anything to cause it. And no, there isn’t anything you could have done to prevent it.” Type 1 diabetes. Diabetic ketoacidosis. Kidney failure. F$#k. Eventually, he gets to have his first meal. A nurse comes in to teach us how to calculate an insulin dose. He struggles to find his appetite. After the first shot, and for several more shots afterward, the nurse brings him a toy that he gets really excited about and makes things a little easier. We watch a lot of movies. Toy Story and Lion King and their sequels over and over. The nurses are so kind and just incredible and probably the only reason why I’m able to hold it all together. Once or twice while he sleeps, I sneak into the bathroom to have a quick cry where I know he can’t hear me. My husband gets to leave the hospital for a few hours at a time to pick up our daughter or run errands and I can see how emotional he gets about everything but he can let it all out while he is away. I made a promise to J that no matter what, I would not ever leave his side so sneaking to the bathroom to cry is the only way I can keep it together for him. More days pass, and he is getting his strength and his appetite back slowly. On the fifth day, they ask us if we feel confident that we can handle everything by ourselves at home, and we are sure that we can. We have no idea. No f$#king clue. We stand in his hospital room, with his brand new meter and we ask the nurse for help to make sure we know how to work it before we leave the hospital and she isn’t much help and in the end, we have to figure it out ourselves. And that kind of sets the precedent for this whole disease, to be honest. We are given bare-bones, one size fits all sort of instructions on “how to diabetes” but we will learn pretty quickly that we have a lot to figure out on our own. I could tell you that it gets easier. And that would be sort of true. After a while, taking care of a child with diabetes becomes routine and things that seemed scary at first are like second nature. I know my way around a BG meter no matter the brand or type. I can check ketones and confidently give injections without a second thought.  I can safely calculate an insulin dose and find the carbohydrate count for anything, and even accurately guess the carbs (without looking it up or weighing) for probably every food in our house. I know what normal blood glucose range is for diabetics and non-diabetics. I know what bolus and basal are, and I know about all of the different types of insulin. I know how to apply, use, and remove a continuous glucose monitor. If you ask me a question about diabetes, I either know the answer or I know where to find it. I f$#ing KNOW diabetes. But every single day is different than the one before. What works today to keep my son in range may not give the same results tomorrow. Everything affects his numbers: food, activity level, stress, even the weather. And I guess that’s why it’s never gonna be easy. That, and the fact that giving him insulin is the only thing that can keep J alive while simultaneously being lethal if he gets too much... it’s like this huge, heavy weight that I have to carry every day. And when he gets older, he’ll have to carry it, too. And all I can do is to love him fiercely and to raise him to be strong enough to endure and until that day comes, to take as much off of his shoulders as I possibly can.

#t1d #type one diabetes #chronic illness #diabetes #type1 #diagnosis story #mom blog #t1dwarrior #diabetic #type one diabetic

[werenzki]

Sidney Crosby #3

Anonymous said: Can you write an imagine about Sydney crosbys recent injury and how his wife and 3 children are at the game and they witness the whole thing. You eventually are brought in the back and waiting for what seems like forever and the children run to him but you give them a stern warning. You guys end up going home and you have to take care of him and your children.

A/N: this isn’t my best work but it’ll have to do, sorry!!! hope you all liked it though :)

Word Count: 2,645

Watching Sidney get hit in any way was rough. Your mind immediately went to the scariest word anyone could put in the same sentence as your husbands name as the clock stopped only 6 minutes into the first period tonight. And when he wasn’t getting up on the ice, instead rolling over as the trainer came up to him, you felt your stomach hit the ground. 

“Mommy,” you looked to where your oldest daughter, Payton, sat - in between you sat your oblivious little toddler son, Brandon, who was more interested in his iPad than the game. “Is daddy okay?” She asked, her lips pouted out as she watched the ice. 

“Yeah, of course, baby,” you replied back in a rush. As you watched Sid skate across the ice hunched over, you weren’t so sure about that answer anymore. But you’d never tell your worried 8-year-old that her dad could possibly get yet another head injury.  

“He’ll be back right?” She asked, eyebrows pulled together as she sat on the edge of her seat. The game was going back into play now, but you couldn’t watch not knowing what was going on with Sid. 

“I’m not sure, sweetie,” you gave her a weak smile and reached across to grab ahold of her hand. “He’ll be checked out by all the good doctors and then maybe he’ll be back for the next period,” 

“Okay,” she nodded, “I just hope he’s okay. We need him to win,” 

“What about uncle Geno and the rest of the team? You don’t think they can win without dad?” 

“Well, yeah, but I want to see dad score,” she stated and shrugged her shoulders. 

“What if Jake scored though? Maybe he’ll even do it in your honour again,” you sent her a wink. She immediately blushed and groaned before leaning back in her seat. You chuckled, teasing her about her little crush on the young blonde was always funny, but right now you were just glad you could get her to not worry too much about what was happening with Sidney. You were doing enough worrying for the whole family. 

It wasn’t till the major penalty was over that you decided you couldn’t just sit and watch any longer. You gathered up your two kids and made way down to the event level to find your way through the back hallways. At first you were lost, and both Payton and Brandon were either grumbling or whining as you looked around the halls. 

“Can I help you ma’am?” You turned to see a security guard for the arena standing there, offering you a smile and waving to Brandon. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m looking for my husband, Sidney, uh Crosby,” you stumbled out the words but finally settled with a smile. Before the security could answer your attention was brought to your son trying to run away. “Brandon,” you cursed under your breath and jogged after him. You grabbed ahold of his jersey and pulled him back to where Payton was standing, thankfully, quietly with the security guard. 

“Hold onto your sister’s hand and please, please be good for mommy,” you pleased to your son who was pouting now. Payton grabbed onto his hand but he then started to fuss and was quick to rip from her grasp and throw himself onto the floor. “Brandon,” you hissed and quickly scooped him up in your arms and rested him on your hip before turning back to the security. 

“The away dressing room is just this way, but I believe he is getting checked out by doctors still,” he explained, “the medical room is only a few doors down from the dressing room,” 

“Thank you,” you smiled while following him down the hallway. Between the scare with Sid, Brandon’s misbehaving and Payton taking her time, you were quickly feeling overwhelmed. 

“Y/N?” You sighed with relief as you heard Kris Latang’s voice and his head poke out from the dressing room. 

“Oh thank god,” you murmured while walking up to him. The helpful security guard ended up just standing beside another security by the dressing room and letting you turn your attention to your friend. Brandon started to fuss in your arms, throwing his body around, causing you to nearly drop him - but Kris was quick to grab the toddler and hold him in his arms now. 

“Sid’s still with the doctors,” he mentioned after talking to your son. You nodded and leaned against the wall beside you. 

You looked over your shoulder to see Payton was paying you no attention, instead she was on her phone. You turned back to Kris and rubbed your forehead, “is it bad?” 

Kris didn’t respond immediately, instead looking down at the ground and then at your son. You felt your eyes water up at the obvious answer that wasn’t said out loud. But you looked up at the ceiling and then blinked away the tears before looking back to Kris who had a sympathetic face in return. 

“I, uh, can I be rude and dump my kids on you for a second? I just need to call back my mom, she’s babysitting Lily tonight and I’m guessing she saw the hit, hasn’t stopped texting me,” 

“Of course, anything to help,” Kris smiled and then went into full dad-mode while entertaining your son and getting Payton into the dressing room while you pulled out your phone and called your mom. 

As the phone rang in your ear, you took a few steps away from the dressing room door and down the hallway. Leaning against the wall again, you shut your eyes and calmed yourself down. But it wasn’t going away, the stress and anxiety was so high you felt your heart racing and your head started to spin. After you, in as little words as possible, got through the conversation with your worrying mother, you made sure your 3 month old baby was fine back home in Pittsburgh and then ended the call. 

It felt like you were waiting forever in the room with Kris. But he was good, being there with you during the time. He kept Brandon happy and answered some silly questions from Payton whenever she wasn’t looking at her phone screen. You knew if he wasn’t here to give you a hand, you’d probably be losing it by now and dealing with upset children in a time like this wasn’t really ideal. 

“Listen,” you had both kids in front of you as you got word Sidney was going to be out of the medical room soon. “Dad’s hurt, alright, he’s going to be okay but his head got hit pretty hard and now he’s going to need some time to get better. So when he comes in here I need you two to not be a handful, okay Brandon?” 

You looked at your son, he looked so much like his father that it made you heart swell up every day. He nodded and then was biting down on his jersey. He looked tired and you were very okay with it cause that’d mean he’d be less of a handful now. Payton nodded too and then sat back down before looking on her phone. You could see she was checking the score on the TV in the room too, clearly worried about the game that we were currently losing. 

Another moment passed, filled with a conversation with Kris about his son Alex missing pre-school today cause he was sick, only for him to be jumping around all day. Then he wanted to get on a plane and come to the game tonight too. You chuckled at his story, but then you noticed a few people entering the room. One being your husband, who was no longer dressed in his gear but instead in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. 

“Daddy!” Payton jumped up from her seat, leaving behind her phone, and ran towards Sidney. Brandon screamed, his new favourite thing to do, and followed after his sister across the room. You sighed and watched as they pulled at him and asked questions. 

“Guys,” you said as you got up and approached them. Sidney was picking up Brandon while Payton had yet to let him go, her thin arms wrapped tightly around his torso. “Please, let your father relax, like I asked you too,” 

Payton pouted but let go of him, Sidney kissed his head but then put down Brandon and let him start running around again. Payton seemed to be over the fact her dad made an appearance and first started running around with Brandon before settling back beside Kris with her phone. Kris was, again, helpful and got Brandon back to his side while showing him something on his phone. You sighed and turned back to look at Sidney. 

“I was so worried,” you muttered while wrapped your arms around him. He embraced you back and placed a kiss on your head. “What’d the doctor say?”

“Concussion,” he murmured while you leaned back to look up at him and frown. 

Everyone knew how big of a deal that work really was for any athlete. But with it being playoff season, you also knew that Sidney would be hating this more than ever. While staring up into his eyes, you were trying to imagine being in his shoes - having to not play in this game would be killing him enough, so you just had this feeling that he was going to push through this injury as much as possible. And that scared you more than anything. 

“Mom!” Your daughter screams and whining caused your attention to turn from your husband to what was happening behind you. Even though you were worried about Sidney, you knew he could handle himself - your kids on the other hand, they could only be ponded off to friends/teammates for so long. 

“What’s wrong?” You questioned. Payton had her arms crossed and a large frown on her face. 

“Brandon hit me!” She replied. 

“Alright,” you sighed and brought your hand up to rub the back of your neck. “Brandon, sweetie,”

“Come on, son,” Sidney stepped around you, making way towards Brandon - who was now pouting, seeing as he was getting in trouble, and hiding beside Kris. As he picked up him up into his arms, you walked up to Payton and kneeled down beside where she was pouting in one of the player stalls a few feet away from the boys. 

“Payton, you need to realize that in a few years you’re not going to be able to really fight back with Brandon, he’s going to get older and stronger. So when his little fists hits you, just remember that you’re stronger than him now and you can handle it, okay?” Payton nodded, lips still pouted, and you brushed back her long brown hair. 

You stood up and reached out so your little girl would take ahold of your hand. She finally broke her smile and stood up while grabbing your hand to follow you back over to the boys. As you approached them, Sid took a step forward and was looking at Brandon who was still pouting in his arms. 

“What do you have to say to your sister?” He asked the boy in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, Pay-tone,” Brandon muttered before throwing his face into his fathers shoulder. You smiled at the fact he still had yet to figure out his sisters name, it was the cutest thing. He called his younger sister, Ill-ee too. 

You looked at Sidney, noticing how tired he looked, but still smiled at him. There was no one else you could imagine raising these hooligans with. Even with just having a head injury only moments ago, he was here helping you with the kids and the troubles they came with. Sidney smiled back to you but he then looked up at the TV on the wall. There was only a minute left in the first period now, and that meant the boys would be in the room any moment. 

You turned to look at Kris, who was looking at the TV as well, “Kris,” you called for his attention. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised. “Thanks for your help,”

“Yeah,” Sidney said, “thanks man,” 

Kris nodded and stood up, “anytime, guys,” he smiled. 

“We should head to the hotel now,” Sidney sighed. You nodded and watched as he turned to talk to a trainer, after they exchanged a few words he turned around again and waved you and Payton over. Just as you were all making way down the hallway, you saw the team and coaches heading towards you. 

Sidney was stopped by all the coaches, causing you to step in and take Brandon from his arms. He fused at first, but when you walked down the hall further and a few of the guys on the team took noticed in the little guy, he was smiling again. Jake even stopped to give Payton a high five, leaving the poor girl with red cheeks and hiding behind you as Sidney made his way back to you. 

When you got back to the suite at the hotel, Sidney was quick to say his goodnights to the kids and then settle into the bedroom as you got them ready for bed themselves. Brandon put up a fight while getting into pjs, and Payton wanted to order room service, then ended up pouting as Brandon stole her pillow. After much work, you got them tucked into the pull-out bed and had on a kids channel for them, then you were slipping into the bedroom yourself. 

“Sorry I didn’t help you out there,” Sidney said as you shut the door and slumped over to where your suitcase was sitting. He was laying in bed, with the game on the TV across from him. The team was sitting losing, and the third was half way through. 

“It’s fine, Sid,” you sighed while grabbing ahold of your sleeping attire for the night. 

“Don’t be mad at me,” he pouted. You was slipping into the shorts you had packed as he watched you. “Please,” he added. 

“I’m not mad,” you huffed while tossing your clothes back into the suitcase. 

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yes,” you smiled and got into bed beside him. “I’m just worried, that’s all,” 

“Don’t worry about me,” 

“Of course I’m going to worry about you, Sidney,” you chuckled. “You’re my husband,” you paused and cuddled up beside him in the bed. You too watched the game on the TV screen, unsure of how the rest of this game was going to go for the team. 

“I should’ve been out there,” Sidney muttered. 

“No,” you were quick to shut down his idea. You sat up and turned to him, frowning as he had his eyebrows pulled together. “Please, for me, don’t push yourself. I understand it’s the playoffs, but your health matters more. Don’t rush back into the game, your team can handle this,” 

“I just need to rest for a day,”

“Don’t rush it Sid,” you piped back. He narrowed his eyes at you and just then Geno scored. “See, your team can do this. Just take it slow and be there to cheer them on,” 

“Fine,” Sidney grumbled. You rolled your eyes at the stubborn man laying beside you. Then you yawned, so much so that Sidney peered away from the intense game to take a look at you. You shut your eyes and laid down in the comfy hotel bed. 

“Wake me up if the kids get fussy,” you said. 

“Alright,” Sid said above a whisper while brushing back your hair. You smiled and then felt his lips plant a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” 

“I love you too,” you said before falling into a much deserved sleep.

#sid mine #sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #pittsburgh penguins #pittsburgh penguins imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Haaau. Oooh. Thats sweet. Do i really say holiii that much? I havent noticed. Okay, let's blame tumblr. It's not as if it works perfectly so...😂 Oooh, yes!! I'm in. Tag me in whatever you want. The meme of H and the lamb was hilarious. I love that comparison. Jajajajajja Gosh, can you imagine when he sings Familiar all by himself? Without JBalvin to do that part? If he sings the whole song when he comes to Spain, fans will lose it😂 (1). ((Any update of Liam the cat?))

HI!!!!! I don’t know! You have say it just a couple of times, really, but this girl says all the time and you reminded me of her, and now she reminds me of you,jejje. Honestly, that lamb is Honey! Jajajja. He’s like that too! He looks at you like: what? Do you have something to say? No? okay, bye. Jajaja. And let’s be honest, harry is very meme material,jajajajajja. (I’m so behind in his tour updates, btw. Haven’t seen anything🤦🏻‍♀️) Liam is coming in a couple of weeks? The 4th. Imagine if he sings in Spanish!!! I would die! If he does, he will do it Perfect (Perfect is capitalized bc of the song, omg). I’m sure he’s learning new words in Spanish. Hola sacapuntas, ¿como están todos? 🤣🤣🤣

Oh nono. Dont apologise. I was just laughing at myself. But thanks for the effort💖 This asks was easy to figure out. Oh, dont worry. Im more concerned about the inbox eating my asks (are they safe or are they lost? I never know) than you not answering. Really. (2)

Right? Like, you take the effort to write something and then you put it out there, without knowing if it will reach their destination or not. And at least with me, you know for sure if the ask is missing or not. But when you write people who has a lot of ask you’re like: did the ask get lost or did I say something rude? Are they ignoring me or have the blocked me??? Hjdfojriofjnoeirvjerv @staff!! Work on it!!!!

I dont like the sentence that goes “seria mucho mejor si participa”. Its nothing, but…me chirría* bcs of the possible undertone. Im very sensitive. Thats it. Though i must say that they compensate it with tge next sentence “voy a hacerte todo *lo que me permitas*”. Bcs consent!! Thats important. Oh, same. I dont usually hear anything in Spanish, mainly bcs i havent found anything that i like. Oh, you have almost the whole week free? Thats good!! (3) *i cant think of how to translate it xd

Jo, I haven’t read the lyrics yet (sorry Liam, I’m a very busy person,😅), but yes, you might be right. That sentence… if she isn’t participating… what are you doing then? And yes, that other sentence is better. I have to take my work (as a fan,lol) more seriously. Sdicsjdlncinsldcnlcjvls LOUIS JUST TWEETED LIAM???? Jfdbhkdbffvdfkv WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!No, but my friends are idiots, jajajja, because I like a lot of Spanish music, actually. Like from the 80s and such,jajajajaj. And once, we were watching OT el reencuentro, and I knew all the songs and they wouldn’t stop teasing me, jajajaj. And o was like: see?? I like Spanish music. OLD Spanish music. Now, even Bisbal sings reguetón 🤦🏻‍♀️.I have to babysit my cousin on Wednesdays starting this week, so good. Bc I only work on Tuesdays and weekends. And someone else have offered me to babysit their children occasionally, so good good. More money for me to spend on the boys.

No idea what is Terra Chat. I guess i was too young? But i do remember messenger! You talked for 6h each day? Thats insane! I could not talk for so many hours. I would run out of topics or something. First time you failed anything, and you 6? Wow. Go big or go home, right? Jajajajaja. Luckily i dont think i’ve ever had any problem with the internet🤔. Its a lifesaver, really. (4)

Seriously, Terra’s chat was the boom back them, jajajja. But I was like 15, so maybe you were still starting to walk, jajajaa (I DON’T KNOW!!)? And yes we would talk for 6h every day. I would eat dinner at my computer, the days I would eat something at all. I lost 4kg the first week I started talking with him,jajajaja. IT WAS TRUE LOVE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (gaaa, I used to be the most embarrassing teenager you can imagine,jajaja (haven’t change much, I admit)) [philosophy moment of the day] Kids from today’s day should know the struggle to not be able to text every moment of every day. Having to compact your words into 180(?) caracteres, bc you only could send a text, and it costed money! EVERY. TEXT! Uffff, that gives personality to someone,jajaja. They have so easy to communicate these days😌. [end of philosophy moment]

You also have a JHO shirt????😍😍😍😍 one shirt for each? Well then, 2 more to go. I’ll swear, someday i’ll get myself something like that. What?! You didnt like Niall??? Soraya!! How so? He was lovely! Yes!! He (& his team) is doing so good! He’s conquering the world and im here for it. And also, his new dressing style is a blessing. I love the trousers he wears for the shows. He looks really handsome😍 (5)

The better part of them putting out they’re careers at different times is that you don’t notice you’re spending so much money,jajaja. Because everything is so expensive!!!! Don’t remind me, I’m ashamed I didn’t like him. 🤦🏻‍♀️. It’s not that I didn’t like like him. I just didn’t see anything special about him?? How??? Was I blind??? Probably! But now I just jsdkhfiowjefijowef  love everything about him. And yes, absolutely yes no his new style. I can’t wait to see him in person, omg!!! I’m so excited already, jajajaja.

Over again? Listen, can you belive that i discovered very recently that when they sang “hole in the middle of my heart like a polo” there werent talking about shirts?!! I used to hate that sentence bcs it made no sense to me! But they are talking about candys!! Of course. Solo songs. How did i forget?? Small stage? Mymy. You are a genius😂 Oh cool. I know nothing about cameras, but this one has an impressive name. JAJAJA. (6)

Jajajajajaja, I was shocked too when I knew about that too!  Jajajaja, I remember thinking, oh that’s makes much more sense that a shirt with a hole??? Jajajajajja. But I love that song live, seriously. You’d have to hear me and see me the concerts I perform in my car!!!  🤣🤣🤣🤣. I lose it with that song! My dream? To drive for 5-6-7 hours singing every 1d and solo songs, singing (screaming) every song, and with other four friends/fans. That’s my dream. Jajajaja. No dram job. No being rich. No nothing. Just singing 1d songs, jjajajaja.

Okaaay. I will call you if necessary. Same goes for you. JBieber and Zayn? What about them? Are they making a colabo or something? Are you asking about my toughts on them?? Sorry. Im a bit lost. (7)

No god, how could you Thing they would be collaborating, 😖, jajajajaa. No no. Your thoughts on them. Nah, I asked be I was going to tell you things my mom says about them, but I don’t want to offend you if you like them, jejeje.

Guess what. My friend (who is the most up-to-date on pop culture and music, and the one i always tell my theories to) called me yesterday “la reina del ocultismo”. (Just bcs i said that Shawn latest song sounded queer to me). JAJAJAJAJAJA. Anyway, I felt so proud. I might be crazy, but at least i have cool name. And i dont get bored🤷 (8)

LA REINA DEL OCULTISMO!!! Oh yes!!!! Jajajajajaa. Hey, I don’t follow very close Shawn, just what I see in my dash, or I’ve hear the songs they play on radio, but girl!!! He so gay!!! (And I don’t want to be offensive, okay? Offensive as in assuming he’s gay or something (wow, they just started playing It Isn’t in My Blood by Shawn,jajja) just because stereotypes). I saw and interview the other day, and he’s stance…mymy. But, well, again, I don’t know anything about him. “I might be crazy, […]And i dont get bored” #aboutme, jajjaja. And, please, share you’re crazy theories with me!!! Jajaja

YES YES YES. Of course i read fics. I read them everywhere, shamelessly. On the train, on the subway, at college, at family dinners (that one was risky, i must admit). JAJAJA. But sadly i have too many fics on the “to read” list. Bcs i dont feel like reading something with the length of a book on the phone, and also bcs once i start i cant stop until im done, so its quite inconvenient if i have to study. So, yes. I read them. What were you reading yesterday??? (9)

Same!! I read fics everywhere. I don’t worry to much about my family knowing I’m reading, bc no one understands English. But I freak out every time I let my iPad with a fic opened, bc they can see Harry’s or Louis’ name and I don’t want them to know I’m reading about them,😅😅. I run out of fics to read sometimes! That’s how much I read, jajajja. They’re always part of my bedtime routine, jajajjajaa. And, well, I was reading a fic, I liked it a lot, but I checked the author and she’s a bit “questionable”, so… I’ll reserve my opinion, if you don’t mind. I read someone’s opinion on the fact that people write stories about Harry and Louis, but then they don’t think they’re gay (as in part of LGBT+ community), and believe Louis is a dad, and all the rest. And they said why that is wrong, bc they’re fetishizing gay relationships. And it made sense. And if a queer person (I don’t know if I can use that word, sorry) says that, I have to believe it, y'know. So, when I read a fic from an author I don’t know, I check their blog, just to see. And I saw that, so I won’t be sharing the fic, sorry (which is a pity, but… 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Yeah. It was totally predictable. I know know. But…he looked cute. Well rested. Happy. And we had been deprived for too long so it was a gift to see him again. Thats it for tonight. Sleep well😙 (10)

He always looks well rested after a few days with his boy,jajajaj. I can’t wait to see what the future has planed for him. And also, I’m so curious about this new LiLo thing 🤔🤔. What’s all about? They now tweet each other. Liam talks about him all the time… we’ll see, we’ll see.

Well, that was a productive morning shift, jajaja. I’ve been almost 4h writing this,jajajajaa. The whole morning! Now, I have to check everything is correct before I close to go for lunch,jajajja. Thank youuuu. Bye bye!!

Pd: waaaa, I almost forget about my limo (liam,jajja). Well, I was going to bed, but before it I looked out the window, and called him. I was calling for a good half an hour. And then a black cat appeared, and I thought hey! they are coming! Then another black and wait cat came. And I didn’t stop calling Liam. And HE CAME!!! He came to my window, where Honey and I were. And I told him to jump, but his so fat… jajajjaa. So I called at my house phone so my mom would go to open the backdoor, and I went out from the front door. And when I reached my window he was up there, but he couldn’t go in, bc I had closed it, so Honey wouldn’t go out. And he jumped and went to the back door to wait for my mom no open the door, and then he run and run till my room, jajajaj, to see if there was food in his bowl. And, just that. They I “bath” him. And gave him a pill to desparasitarle(?), and put him a collar para las pulgas? Jajaja. And then I feed him. He was exhausted and hungry. My poor boy. I don’t know why he keeps going ou, if he doesn’t like it,jejeje.  Honey kept smelling him bc he smelled different, just FOR A DAY OUT!! (Jo, hablo TANTO!!!) Thanks for asking, love.

#anon #kjdfnfviubdfvubiugrfd #I talk a lot #hey have you listened IDGAF by Dua Lipa??? I love it!!