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yjwonz · 2 years

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hi r/aita am i the a hole uwu fuck this

right so my dad recently had a surgery, when i say recently i mean literally yesterday. i took the day off n everything to drive him there get him back and ive been taking care of him while still managing to care for my younger sisters, cook for them, clean the house, etc... right? so when i asked my now 15 y/o sister (turned 15 last week idk if i posted abt it) to go out and buy some medicine like painkillers and shit to help my dad sleep faster (thats it) she couldve done it right? there a pharmacy literally like 4 blocks away idk its like a less then 10 minute walk. she was there anyway because she went to the gym around there to work out. i call her up and i go 'hey can you pick up this medicine blah blah blah like right now please' and she agrees to do it right. 20 mins past i dont think anything bc it might take her a while to find the stuff and walk back i call her 'hey can you maybe hurry up ?? sorry its just he really needs them yk' and she goes 'yeah whatever i know calm down' and im like ...what??

anyways 15 more minutes past, she should be home. i call her, 'where are you ??' she says shes otw. okay. 15 more minutes, where tf is she? the gym isnt far from the pharmacy btw, literally less than 5 mins. also painkillers n shit are like right by the door and its never busy either. im abt to call her and she sends me a text telling me to open the door. i tell one of my sisters to go open it and she goes outside to see where said sister is. i walk over to the door and ask where sister is and little sister says 'shes here but her friends are here' ..what? what. i see sister walking up the steps a huge fucking bag in her hand and shes laughing w her friends. she steps in her friends still outside. im staring hella hard at her and i close the door and im like where the fuck have you been? i asked you for 2 things. why are your friends here what the fuck? and shes like oh my god i got the stuff calm down. and i say thats not the point you cant take a single day of not hanging out w friends?? (she hangs out w them like 8 times every week deadass)

and shes getting mad at ME?? she tells me they were at the gym with her and i tell her then why are they here?? 'they were at the gym with me' 'okay that still doesnt explain why r they here???' and she take the medicine out of the back and goes 'it doesnt matter oh my god just go give this to YOUR dad'

EXCUSE ME???? MY DAD???? i say 'what do you mean your dad, you mean our dad !!?!' i leave to give dad his medicine and shes in the garage w her friends, i tell her they need to leave and she says theyre abt to but shes just waiting for her friends mom to pick them up. im done w it atp so im like okay fine whatever. its like 3 oclock now and i serve the other girls lunch and i wait for my sister to come in. 30 minutes and her friends mom isnt here and she said 'were not hanging out just waiting' LIKE A FUCKING LIAR.

anyways yeah yall im not bitchy right im in the right for yelling at her right. CAUSE SHES GOING ALL "BLAH BLAH UR SO THIS AND THAT" LIKE SHTU UP OUR DAD IS LITERALLY IN PAIN AND YOU CANT BE AGOD PERSON FOR ONCE??@?!?@#$U^

tldr ; i send sister out for medicine for our sickly father, she doesnt get back for like 45 mins and when she does she says it doesnt matter it took her so long and tells me to just give the medicine to 'your' dad as if he's not her father ??? i get mad and yell @ her blah blah she also brings her friends over when i told her not to n shit idk

#r/aita el oh el #HELP THIS IS SO LONG TLDR AT THE END BTW

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blkkizzat · 1 month

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Indian reader is back here again AHSJDH I SWEAR THIS IS THE LAST ONE 🙏🙏🙏 honestly reading your post made me hungry send help

I am SO glad you enjoyed your trip here, I love it when people learn about each other's cultures it literally makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!! I love how detailed your posts about the trip were and I really appreciate you sharing it with us <33

You knowing your tourist guide's whole story with the pharmacist to history lover is so real 😭 some people be having the wildest career paths especially the ones who've been at it for a long time and you somehow get to know their whole story in the span of 20 minutes

Personally I think summer in the US feels worse bc ceiling fans and all around ventilation isn't very common there from what I've seen and heard, while winters in India are worse for the most part since electrical heating and room temperature control isn't common here outside of the cities (inbuilt room temp control isn't a concept here at all currently, I've only ever seen it in hotels)

This was probably the best time for you to visit india cause peak summer temperatures haven't even started yet and you were already dying from the heat (me too dw)

And trust when I say you're not the only one struggling to cross the streets not all of us are built for this do or die type of shit 💔💔💔 (though I'll have to build up that confidence since you know. I live here. Don't exactly have a choice 🤡)

PS I'm going to be craving a restaurant thaali for the rest of the day bc of the pics

Omfg no please write me anytime!! <33

Awe thank you! I def love sharing my experiences! I love traveling and will def have to come back. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it cause i tend to ramble on about stuff! Yes! Another tour guide we had in Jaipur used to be a laywer. He was so knowledgeable too, he was with us all day and took us a few different places. It was fun learning about them. One thing I definitely took back from that and was inspired by was seeing people leaving "socially prominent" or high status jobs for something they loved. Seeing as I went as apart of my MBA program it was an unexpected but great reality check that sure we are all in this program to progress our careers but we really need to keep self-fulfillment and happiness in mind. Whats money or status if you are miserable? Like they had us eating out of the palm of their hand with how much passion they had for what they did and it really inspired me to find that in my own life!

Omfg yeah, it really depends on where you are. The sun feels a bit more intense in India because we were closer to the equator than in the US but the heat in India I experienced at 100 degrees F was a walk in the park compared to the time I stupidly went to las vegas in August and it was nearly 120 degrees F. Also where I live summers have been getting hotter and hotter so people arent equipped for heat waves. I've always had AC cause I have really furry dogs who need to stay cool though so thankfully ive been prepared. Also winters can be an issue here too, Texas been getting ice storms and blizzards in the past few years and as a hot area are completely unequipped. Even in places that are used to cold like NYC, when I lived there I moved into a new building paid a stupid high rent to live in a box that had central AC but was poorly insulated so I had to buy like the shiny foil insulating sheets to put over my window in the winter or I felt like the wind was passing right through.

Haha thankfully I was always in busy areas cause me and my friends when we werent with our guide would always just wait until we saw someone else who was clearly Indian cross the street and cross with them lmfao. We probably looked so stupid standing and waiting there lmfao but we never waited more than 5 mins thankfully LOL. Its funny cause looking back I've had friends here in the US scared to "jaywalk" with like one car coming thats practically crawling down the block and in India you have people boldly stopping speeding cars to cross LOL. I just imagine how funny we must look scared to cross with one car wayyyyyyy down the block coming, even I'm laughing at us.

I hope you get some resturant thaali soon! I'm definitely going to be craving it soon too. I know the next time I eat Indian food it ain't going to hit the same AT ALL lmfao.

#lovely anons #kizzatanswers

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charlotteiscrying · 3 months

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222 days sober today. 222 days since you left, 222 days since every single aspect of my entire life changed. im kinda happy i lost everything at once. it could not physically have hurt more, but now that ive lived through, actually prospered through, the hardest 222 days of my 22 years of life, i feel like i can do anything. there is literally nothing, outside of death, that can hurt me more than ive already been hurt. not meaning that i haven’t been hurt by death, more meaning that death is the only thing that could hurt me more than fentanyl, hurt me more than you.

i try to remember the girl i was 222 days ago, the girl who was withdrawing n just so sick, with so much anxiety about giving up the only thing that ever made me happy in this world. i genuinely couldn’t keep using that stuff, i was at the point that i couldn’t physically get enough fentanyl up my nose to even feel just baseline 33% okay. even after i started smoking it, i couldn’t chase the dragon fast enough, or well enough, to ever feel okay.

that shit sucks. i think about that all the time when i see homeless people around the city. they are so sick all day every day, chasing some powder, that smells like actual ballsack, that will, only maybe, make them feel just barley okay for 15 mins. i was right there with them, n that’s the scary part. all it took was 2 years to get to the lowest rock bottom possible. going through an endless cycle of withdraw, hustle, buy, snort, repeat. every 30 mins.

im just so happy i can say ive changed in these past 222 days. i don’t even recognize myself when i look in the mirror. i look healthy, i have color in my skin again, ive actually gained almost 20 lbs. im on the tiny dose of methadone the rehab left me on, n thats actually made me accidentally quit alcohol and any and all benzodiazepines. same w mdma, acid, all hard drugs in general. all i do is smoke weed now.

im actually taking care of my body and my skin, its been borderline impossible trying to heal all this acne i have left from the fentanyl n all the toxins i was putting into my body. and the scars from all the times id scratch my skin open… im trying to heal them, but mainly im just proud of me for taking care of myself. and i’m so beyond proud that i actually enjoy doing my skincare now, i’ve made it a little routine thats such a nice break i can take for myself each day.

mentally, the hardest part of these 222 days has been you cheating on me. you know you didn’t break up with me first. you cannot gaslight me into believing that- you just didn’t break up with me. you also know i didn’t hallucinate 6 months of long distance. i didn’t hallucinate your facetimes every night, your promises that you love me, that there’s no other girls, that i have nothing to worry about. you obviously couldn’t admit to me just how much you had been using me. just how unfaithful you had been. you had been cheating long before i found out. long before. n i knew. im not dumb, i just get blinded by lust. by what could be. by what we could have been.

that’s another huge thing i’ve accomplished recently. realizing the difference between love and lust. i care about you, n i have a lot of lust for you, but i do not love someone who treats me how you have. i thought i loved you. i really did. i thought you loved me. that’s the crazier part. we made it through two years of addiction, fentanyl addiction at that, you went to prison, proposed to me, several of my cars got crashed, i od’d, you saved my life, we both got clean, made it through rehab, we were doing long distance for 6 months. we mf beat fentanyl. or- i did. you pussied out on day 2, then beat 5 doctors up until they shot you up with fentanyl to sedate you. you then proceeded to continue tweaking, so they’d give you more. you od’d. so you never detoxed, they detoxed you while you were asleep. you were awake for 48 hours of detox. i was awake, and conscious, through every second of it. i was in the emergency room for 22 days. in the telemetry unit actually, i had an arrhythmia, and tachycardia, from detoxing. i beat fentanyl. and i didn’t immediately turn to alcohol to satiate my cravings, either. i learned to look beyond them, to see what i already have right in front of me. that’s why, in 222 days, i’ve made all this progress, n you’re right back exactly where you left off. oh, and i know you’re back on fentanyl, too. i’d know that behavior anywhere.

im glad that i ruined juice wrld for you. same w my city, bmws, that gun you love so much that i was with you when you bought. all your favorite things reek of me- i love it. every day you get further and further from me, i realize just how much you used me. how much you didn’t care. how much you tricked me, how much you lied. how much I didn’t need you.

you’ll never get to touch me again. you got to be with me at my lowest. congratulations. you never even met the real me. the sober me. you know i kinda am happy you left how you did. you ripped the bandaid off. it hurt so bad it made me realize i recognized that hurt from somewhere. i had gone through the emotions of being broke up with by you probably 22 times over.

im so excited to see what i do in the next 222 days. how much more progress i will have made. where i will go, the things i will do, the people i will meet. i hope im almost completely off the methadone, n i hope i have found many more things that make me happy. healthy things i mean. im just proud of myself. n so beyond excited for the future. i know its gonna be wayyy better than these last 2 years, and even better than these last 222 days.

- it was just 2:22AM :)

#sober #222 #opiate addiction #breakup #proud #hope

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thoi2020 · 3 years

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u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much.

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember.

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

#good luck!!!#sorry for the unpunctuated typing this was long i cba <3 #anonymous #again this is just from my experience plus teachers' advice that i liked and saw worked #tw iit jee #lmk if u wanna know sth else?#hope this helps #long post

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ssweeneys · 4 years

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i’m having a REALLY bad day

or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???

its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.

so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.

anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.

there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada

anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.

and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.

anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.

now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.

HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.

but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?

yeah. right. ok.

so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.

at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.

when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.

so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”

SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.

so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.

NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.

so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.

BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!

omg i cannot at this point i really cannot

but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION

MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT

IM TIRED

IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.

can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.

all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email

its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????

so like i just dont get it

but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...

and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.

and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.

I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.

NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!

why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.

in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY

moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.

yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.

work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.

POINT FUCKING BLANK.

THANK YOU AND GOODBYE

like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.

if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.

onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)

#im not even gonna read over this #its raw #its real #what the fuck ever

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dawnowar · 5 years

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I think I waste the same amount of time online

since I stopped facebooking. Well i go on there for 20 min max per day to check to make sure someones not saying something important to me. I usually glance at the stories in my news feed, share anything that made me laugh and gtfo.

I’ve been doing this instagram #febmetalpunkchallenge so I’m still spending too much time looking at my phone but im looking at instagram now which doesnt make me angry and doesnt make me hate everyone.

Truth is i think we are doomed. As a society. As America. Doomed. We are not just on the path to civil war as one of my friends suggested today, but I bugged out when the most liberal of the so-called “libtards” I know started falling for obvious right-wing propaganda stories.

It is quite disturbing to see how many of my “friends” would rather just take in the misinformation coming at them with no real concern with how it makes them complicit in the suffering of other human beings.

But on instagram it’s all look at this record. i love this record! Look at this dog! I love this dog! Look at my cats! I love my cats! and this challenge has forced me not just to dig for cool stuff to post but to confront some of my past that maybe I hadn’t thought about in awhile, which is always an exercise in being an emotionally healthy person.

A certain rock star i might work for who shall remain nameless has the worst facebook addiction I’ve ever seen. i thought i was bad and i was trying to get mine under control before I saw what he does, which made me feel downright normal. And I wonder how many other people are literally on it 24/7 and can’t step away even though they are losing friends for the political arguments.

So i put it down. In fact the longer i stay away the easier it is because going back after time has passed theres so much coming at you and its all so overwhelming and so much of it makes you angry and you can see that you logged in 5 mins ago and you werent like this before that. So its not hard to log out. its when you engage with people about the things being posted you can’t get away.

But im not saving any time since I’m mostly fb free. In fact even if im not on Instagram i find myself looking up stuff and researching coffee makers or making goat leggings or setting up etsy stores. Better wastes of time than fighting with my friends but still....

So i’ve been doing this February real-life Jazzercise challenge. 25 classes in 28 days... i finish tomorrow. and i missed a couple of classes here and there.. so i did 25 classes in 20 days and I could have done it faster. But I came home and soaked in the bathtub a lot. Ive been really sore. Because i’m just coming back from a broken rib too so i wasn’t used to doing a whole class before February started. So i come home and im tired and i gotta soak in the tub and im sleeping a lot more than usual and i dont want to do much besides find something cool for the next days instagram challenge.

I’m not sure what my life will look like in March when both these challenges are over. Maybe i can wean myself off Instagram too. But truthfully i think I’ll just end up looking some other thing up and wasting just as much time online.

Maybe thats OK if its stuff thats making me happy and not stuff that’s making me sad/mad/upset/angry/etc.

Ive said for the last year that I’m changing fundamentally as a person. I can feel it. I don’t know what its about or where its all leading but I am changing for sure. I’m doing it all by my gut instinct and just taking myself where things feel good for me. Not sure what comes next but i’m sure its not social media.

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mxnyxxngx · 6 years

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GET TO KNOW ME TAG :)

I WAS TAGGED BY THE SWEET @smittenbyschmidt LIKE 9438798796 YEARS AGO ?? IM SO SO. SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AND THANKS FOR TAGGING ME !!! AHHHHHHAHAHAAHAH

1. nickname: jen !!! :)

2. gender: female

3. star sign: virgo hohoho (also an enfp gryffindor if u were wondering) (u probably werent but still lmaoo)

4. height: 165 cm aka just barely 5’5 rip

5. time: 5:23 pm

6. birthday: september 13th !!! a late late late summer baby

7. favorite bands (non kpop): oh no im not sure i have any ?? i used to listen to a whole bunch tho, like one direction, big time rush, 5sos, onerepublic, imagine dragons, panic at the disco (somewhat)

8. favourite solo artist: my favorite korean solo artist has to be dean hes a literal king dear god as for non korean ive recently been listening to a lot of borns and troye sivan :’) blackbear too !!! his songs are my exact aesthetic tbh

9. song stuck in my head: without you by nct u (im listening to it rn LMAOO)

10. last movie watched: legally? black panther WHICH IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES OF THE YEAR BTW I FUCKING LOVE IT TO BITS illegally? drive me crazy bc im lowkey a sucker for sappy cliche 90s romcoms :’)

11. last show watched: i have no clue ?? actually ??? i dont watch a lot of tv so i hope seventeens weekly idol counts ??? or nct vlives ???? LOOOOOL

12. when did i create my blog: november 2014 i think !!

13. what do i post: id say about 80% is kpop (40% bts 20% nct 15% seventeen 5% other) and the rest is either memes or aesthetic posts LMAOOO

14. last thing i googled: nyc weather (theres a snowstorm today omfg and school was cancelled ?? which makes today my first proper snow day ever ??? im such a california kid)

15. do you have other blogs: not active ones but i have a couple saved urls up my sleeve ;)

16. do you get asks: ,,, not really LMAO occasionally i used to but my inbox has been pretty dead for a while

17. why did you choose your url: its just min yoongi with the vowels replaced with xs and honestly ??? i have no clue how i thought of that or why but i thought it was sooooo cool and smart at the time LOOOL im not mad at it tho tbh i love it even though it gives me a bit of trouble w url tag games LMAO

18. following: 1219 blogs which ?? i honestly dk if thats a lot or a little

19. followers: i just recently hit 204 followers !!! which btw thank you guys ??? sm ???? i love you all ??????

20. favorite color (s): PEACH and RED and GOLD (my gryffindor ass is showing) and hmm black maybe :)

21. average hours of sleep: hoooo boy LOOOOL it really depends on the day but probably about 6 ?? even tho im the sleepiest girl u will ever meet ??? my sleep schedule is FUCKED LOOOOL

22. lucky number: 7 !! its cliche but i dont care lmao

23. instruments: i used to play piano and the flute but i pretty much havent touched either instrument since college started :((

24. what am i wearing: my bigass kevin woo love more hoodie and thigh highs and uhhh a bra and underwear i guess ??? LOOOL

25. how many blankets do i sleep with: two !!! although tbh im not sure why ?? i feel like i prefer only using a comforter ???? wtf @ me

26. dream job: oh wooooow uhhhh … a music producer

27. dream trip: south korea is the obvious answer i feel like but i have been missing la so fucking much these past couple of weeks so definitely there ugh

28. favorite food: im a hoe for kbbq tbh or any kind of meat/korean food in general actually !! i also reaaaally like spicy foods :’) so hot cheetos are my favorite snack tbh pizza and in n out are both soooo good too tbh in general i prefer salty things over sweet things but i WILL eat anything peach flavored straight up i kid u not it is my favorite flavor/color/smell in the entire world I LOVE PEACHES OK

29. nationality: american born chinese (first gen) but i took like a dna test a while ago and ?? apparently im like 10-12% finnish ??? which ,,, idk LMAOO

30. favorite song now: currently its any title song by nct tbh ?? go and boss and touch and baby dont stop have been on repeat since they came out

other korean song recs: dinner by jane jang and suho; jewel box AND thousand times (an ost and it made me cry tbh) by samuel (listen ,,,,,, the boy is so talented ,,,,, pls support him ,,,, i lov him w my whole heart); some and galaxy by bolbbalgan4; i promise you/ipu by wanna one (its so good slkgslkgdlkh ahhh i didnt like it THAT much at first but it really grew on me)

some english song recs: strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan; helplessly by tatiana manaois; dirty laundry by blackbear !!! :)

i tag @sasha092398 bc ofc i am ??? and @byeulbitch and @ashweeeeeh heheheh :’)

#get to know me #about me #i ?? dk what to tag this as ??? LMAOO

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survivorbehemoth · 4 years

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Episode 13: “The new strategy is to ignore me unless they want to use me.” - Chips

Vocaroo

Vocaroo 2

Vocaroo 3

Video

So I assume everyone is voting me this round. Just like I assumed last round.

The new strategy is to ignore me unless they want to use me. So thats fun.

Anyway i was told at the last minute rhe vote changed to Brandan and... lol it did? Poor Brandan and whoever probably was either not let in or was scared of his idol.

Anyway, I was told to vote Seamus this round and I would be okay. Im putting my faith there.

this confessional is gonna be messy and i dont wanna cry on camera so here it goes. im basically just copying and pasting from my DR.

EARLIER IN THE DAY: ive made an executive decision that im going to be loyal to daisy and szymon and i don’t care if i lose to them at the end i dont have the heart in me to betray them it’s not worth it i wanna win and if i get to the end and they ask why? when you know it’s a good game move? The Winning Move? bc i think sometimes winning ain’t everything and i think getting to the end ad losing to someone worthy is fine!!! and maybe one day i’ll be able to like be ruthless in games but !!! LMAO today is not that day and it won’t be ever u know — plus they both have to know they both win to me? right? so yeah i just don’t have it i me and ill defend that in jury and also cop to it like i’ll OWN it i fucking get it but if i could still get to the end at all that should be recognized a bit and yeah maybe i’ll lose but idk it’s not worth it i don’t like how i feel rn and i don’t want to make another person feel that way bc let’s face it i can’t hinge my games on winning things ive won nothing myself this whole game it’s okay but i can’t center shit around it but i think ive played a good game and it’s different than theres and there’s so many times when they have both come to me there’s a lot ive done too

LATER IN THE DAY:

instead of chips we're cutting seamus. which fits into my boot order and what i wanted to do anyways since f9. but. daisy it not happy and i tried to explain it to her like this:

okay a few facts 1. im loyal to u and szymon first and foremost 2. next to either of u at the end i will not win 3. im okay with that at this point bc i cant really emotionally justify cutting yall and not going to fire for either of yall + i doubt ill win fic if its a f2 between the two of yall but i want to do SOMETHING game wise u know and yeah idk, i know u and seamus are close and i do feel like bad about this especially on an emotional level but i know that either way if i get to the end with either of u im losing but i wanna say at least i could make a move that showed some foresight game wise idk i hope that doesnt come off as like GUILT TRIPPY OR WHATEVER IM JUST BEING REALISTIC at this point bc i know i have my loyalty and i know it something im not good at breaking and if i get shit on it at the end if i make it, so be it, but that doesnt mean i didnt know what moves needed to be made and idk yeah and i get it if u dont feel the same way especially after this or anything but thats where my head is at.

ME IN MY DR AND TO SZYMON AN HOUR BEFORE TRIBAL:

anyways im going home tonight i feel it i really do i promise i wont throw a fit ive already been crying about another org and how dumb i am in games bc im too loyal but it is what it is and thats how i am and its not gonna change to win an org like i know this is all on me but yeah like i said to szymon if ive made daisy angry i voted for chips last round chips/daisy/seamus vote for me to go 3-3 revote dylan flips i leave period i know its over i just feel it i really do and maybe its just bc i felt the same way literally 24 hours ago in survivor week in another and i had my closest ally saying ur not going home i promise ur not going home and etc and just literally playing mental gymnastics and now mind games and using her TAROT CARDS AGAINST ME basically like the irony isnt lost on me that szymon is telling me the same thing im just calm about it im sad but im calm bc i know its happening im sad bc i dont want it to end i dont wanna go but its the end

so brandan went home and ive been nervous all round. i finally feel kinda comfortable with my 5 and yet i don't. so i didn't have time to really try on the challenge because i went out with friends and had work all day so i had 30 mins to do the challenge. sorry i don't wanna use my only free time in my day to try hard on it i actually have a life. so nOW everyone wants me out bc apparently i was playing the middle and throwing challenges. like NO BING BONG. MY GAME HAS NOT BEEN THAT GOOD AND IM FINE ADMITTING THAT. the real reason they r voting me is bc daisy is immune. that is a fact.

so all day no one speaks to me and iM LIKE IK SOMETHING IS WRONG. and finally daisy calls me and tells me jules/dylan are leading the charge against me and everyones voting me. so we whipped up this plan to pull in chips and force a tie. or rocks. either im fine with. and szymon just now 20 mins before tribal tries to bs me how theres nothing he can do. so hopefully this shit ties or jules GOES HOME.

Video

HOLY MOLY IS STUFF HAPPENEING AT THIS FINAL 6 LIEK!!

ugh all the outside of game stuff going on doesnt really matter but yeah sorry for no videos once again <33

i feel like this vote is really going to solidify whether or not i sit in the end or as one of the last jurors and it has me really stressed out. if i can use my extra vote this round to make a play against seamus it doesnt even matter if i win immunity at f5 bc i have an idol to play. it's really crazy to imagine myself in f4 and be like, just 1 step away from potentially winning the game

i feel like if i can stick with szymon, jules, and daisy at the end i have a good chance of making final tribal and from there it just depends on who i can beat. it is going to be hard going up against helgamine people in an all helga jury for the most part but i feel confident in the game that i've played thus far and i know im capable of speaking well so, hopefully i can convince people to see that my game is a winning one and that im not just being dragged along for the hell of it!!! newayyssss SEE YOU IN FINAL 4 <33

________________________________________________________________

Seamus is voted out 4-3. He becomes the 6th member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment Below:

youtube

#episode #superspooky

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tillymint7 · 4 years

Text

Fiona James 🌈🦋

Fiona James is a professor and the founder of a new community art project and practices something called TRE therapy (Tension, Stress and Trauma Release) part of which is something called Heart Coherence. Fiona and her team has taken up residence in Bidston Hill, which is really close to where I live. For me this year has been full of strange connections and coincidences.

I had heard last year that an art group had moved into the old observatory building. Bidston Hill is a local beauty spot, but it’s also apparently one of largest ley line sites in the UK outside of Stone Henge. Bidston Hill has a very bizarre history.

Funnily enough, my first ever art project I did whist on my UAL art foundation course was about Bidston Hill. It has always a place that fascinates me for years since I was a kid.

The Hill has an old light house, an old flag signalling systems (as a kid I thought the holes 🕳 in the ground were swimming pools for fairies 🧚‍♀️ 😂) the team of scientist based at the observatory during the 2nd World War helped assist the UK to win the war. It’s also home to one of the country’s oldest windmills, which has so many mysterious stories of tragedy.

The Hill is also linked with strange rituals, pagan ceremony’s, Noric stone carvings, murders (sadly even in recent years), strange deaths, legends and folk tales, it was home to a Jack the Ripper suspect, endless ghost stories, stories of werewolves, and so many stories about witches and a cursed witches circle ⭕️ ....Modern day white witches are still practicing there today.

Fiona has started what’s sounds like an artists commune. Any creative can apply to work up there for a few months at a time. The residency can help progress your practice. Allowing creatives to make larger works and explore new ideas. I always find personally that a new space can really help with new direction.

The artist can also show their works in exhibitions during their residency. It’s so wonderful to hear that a place like this so close to where I live.

I think I would still be a bit scared of being up there at night (I’m such a whimp! 👀). Even though Bidston Hill it’s a beautiful place Iv always found the place a little unnerving as a child and that was before I found out it’s history....I’m 40 and still afraid of being outside in the dark alone. 😱😂

From having a background and several qualifications in health care and many years and studying. I know the health benefits of regular meditation.

Deep breathing improves our bodies health through increasing the level of oxygen, which in turn helps to focus and calm the mind. Its a medical fact that a calm mindset helps speed up the healing process. There is also a link between our mental health and our digestive system.

Another interesting factoid (if your a proud geek like me) 🤓: I also read that apparently munks, through meditation, can actually block out pain and slow down their pulse when they achieve their state of zen. This shows the power of a focused mind and breathing deeply. 🦋

That’s why I started a mindfulness meditation gathering group in uni. To me it’s more about us being in tune with our own bodies and filtering out all the madness which helps us reconnect with the world around us. I also feel this allows our creativity to flow more freely. Plus the long term health benefits. So many of us struggling with our mental health these days. It’s good to remember to take time out for ourselves.

Their is such a massive link between our mental health and our physical health. Thats why Iv never understood why mental health has always been the Cinderella section of our health service, personally I have always felt we should be treated holistically.

As a person who has suffered 2 nervous breakdowns and experienced psychological pain that lead to actually physical illness and hospitalisation. I know that reality and the dangers of not allowing ourselves time to reconnect with the world around us.

Their are so many conditions such as CFS, fibromyalgia, psychological trauma and physical trauma that can cause pain in the back, joints and just about anywhere in the body. This can be made so much worse through poor posture and overcompensating. Deferred pain through over compensating long term can actually cause further injury to both muscle and joints.

Fiona blew me away when explained her TRE Practice and talked about how the body by using Heart Coherence completely resetting itself through breathing deeply in an even pattern of breaths the effect of which lasting up to 6 hours. It’s amazing that something so simple can have such an instant physical benefit.

Hearing Fiona talk about the subconscious and gratitude was really interesting. Iv read a book before called ‘The Secret’ It is apparently based on an ancient practice called the laws of attraction.

The book talks about the keys to happiness and success are linked to our own thoughts and mindset. It also talks about the idea that the time we are living now in is actually formed by our passed thoughts and feeling, which I find crazy to think.

The law of attraction talks about how we are all magnetically connected to the energy of the universe and the energy we put out we attract back. Like that saying ‘misery loves company’ or the theory that some people are social vampires 🧛‍♀️ ....could that mean we actually attract them? 😱 I know I have many times. 👀 ...Constant negativity from other people makes me feel really drained.

So basically the theory is that what you expect and give out you attract. If you have negative expectations you attract negative people, events and experience and visa versa. It sounds simple, but hard to do 💯% of the time. I do try, but as you have probably read in past posts. I am prone to negative thoughts and paranoid spirals too (no shock there 😜). I decided I want to be as honest and open as I can on my blogs to try and become my true original self.

Sometimes I find it helpful to remember that even people who look like they have it all together can be the ones suffering the most. We all have public image we like to project. We all have our highs and lows. We shouldn’t be ashamed of them. What’s the point of being fake and protending to be positive 💯% of the time when it’s just not humanly possible for any of us. I read somewhere that apparently the closer our subconscious and concious selves are the happier we are.

I saw a lecture online with a professor (I can’t remember her name 🤦🏻‍♀️ I must look it up) but she said that all this pressure we feel to be positive all the time and demonising our normal feelings by labelling them as negative has a profoundly damaging effect. She said we have to acknowledge all our feeling. We have to then realise why we may be feeling them, then try and deal with them by allowing them to come through and out of our bodies other wise they get trapped and cause physical health issue.

I thought of this when Fiona talked blocked enegry from passed traumas getting trapped within our muscle tissue, which actually cause physical symptoms. The professor (who’s name I actually can’t remember) said to reject and ignore any human emotion is to have ‘dead peoples goals’ which I think makes perfect sense.....we feel the things we do because we are alive so we should embrace them so we can let them go.

Pain receptors are attached to the brain through the nervous system. The messages get sent to injury sights and respond to the pain via pin receptors🤓🧐 ....So I think what Fiona is saying is that these messages from our brain can get trapped/blocked due to trauma.

I’m not sure if I heard this right because it was so complicated, but Fiona talks about pain thought trauma. The system Fiona treats is actually controlled by the heart and these pathways exist inside this subcutaneous layer of membrane, which surrounds our body?

I was fascinated to find out from Fiona, that as a healer, she is actually able to unblock long term trapped energy pathways learned by the body through trauma. Through using Heart Coherence and TRE she can also somehow re-map the body and stop pain.

Fiona treats people by actually talking to the area of the body where the person is feeling pain, which she identifies as the site of the blocked pathway. It’s like she can communicate with the pain itself. It sounds so bizarre, but I would love to see it working and maybe even see if it could work for me. 🙏

Fiona also mentioned that we all have a 5 metre circumference energy field around us, I have heard that before, could that be linked to what people refer to as our auras?

I often wonder whether this force field we all have could be why, in times of stress or excitement, a crowded place can literally feel palpable, like you can feel the energy in the air radiating through our bodies in unison.

I know this is something Mark Wright is very interested in with regards to his work too. This idea that the body extends beyond it’s physical form.

It makes sense, because there is so much we don’t know about the subconscious mind, it literally functions 💯 % of the time and our conscious 5%. So is it really so unbelievable that our bodies can connect without touch? After all we are all made up of the same matter and energy. I don’t think it’s crazy to believe that healing powers can actually exist.

Fionas work sounds so interesting. I would love to find out more. I would definitely love to go up to Bidston when the crazy quarantine is all over and have a good long chat with her to find out more about her work. As Fiona said ‘Magic is just technology we don’t understand yet’

Humans have always feared science and anything new as it can be perceived as a danger or a threat, but thankfully we are living in times where are minds are open to new and exciting seemingly impossible things. Thankfully we are all less pitch folks and torches these days.

NOTES:

Take 10 mins

Brain has loads of syntactic connections syntactic change 2 hours or 3 days

Conscential reality

💯 subconscious

Magic is just technology we don’t yet understand

Field of energy of 5 met self energy

The heart the intuitive centre of our body. Relaxes body

Breathing resets body for 6 hours

Plasticity

Gratitude helps

Negative energies

Steven Portas

I deserve to have this change

It is safe to have this change and free to have this change

QEC practice Melanie Salmon QEC living .com

Calliban and the Witch - Silvia fredarichie

Practice TRE

0 notes

tessaractwasp · 5 years

Note

1-140 question meme

wait you want me to do all of them?? Ok I guess (that actually makes me kinda happy lol)

3 Fears losing people, never getting away from home, and that everyone hates me

3 things I love music, reading, writing

2 turns on intelligence, muscular, socialism

2 turns off misogyny, speech impediments, capitalism

My best friend @queercedricdiggory

Sexual orientation not sure tbh. Maybe pan? Maybe lesbian? Who can say. Not me.

How tall am I 5′ 2 3/4″

What do I miss right now my friend Shannon who doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore

Favourite color purple

Do I have a crush yes

Favourite place nature. there’s a brook in the woods at the bottom of the hill I live on. its magical.

What am I listening to right now my spotify playlist “A Very Specific Mood Brought To You By Probably Non-Lesbian Lesbian Icons” currently Mitski’s “A Horse Named Cold Air”

Shoe size 6.5 usually

Eye color cockroach brown

Hair color brown/black (ft hidden rainbow)

Meaning behind my URL oh god I was like 15 when I made it so tesseract from the first avengers but tessaract bc my name is tessa, and wasp bc she was my favorite marvel character.

Favourite song favorite song????? uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh right now probably Mitski’s “Pink in the Night”

Favourite band pdofjsodifjolikdsjf uhm IDK my top artists rn are Mitski, Hozier and Florence + The Machine

How I feel right now frustrated.

Someone I love @azirahell

My current relationship status single and READY to flaMINGLE

My relationship with my parents hahahahahahahah better than most I guess. But strained af atm

Favourite season SPRING

Tattoos and piercing i have navel and ear piercings

Tattoos and piercing i want WAY more ear piercings, I wanna get that custom “constellation piercing” thing but $$$$ also tattoos for each of my immediate family members (so far a turtle and elephant on opposite ankles, a power symbol on the back of my neck probably, an origami rose on one tricep, a wolf silhouette on the other)

The reasons I joined Tumblr fandom probably? and peer pressure. thx nadia

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? only when Im actively texting someone when we go to bed

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I dont know have you? (Im kidding, I think I have tho)

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where Im going. Anywhere from 5 mins to like 1.5 hrs lmao. But on average, probably 20 mins

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven’t shaved my legs in the past three years

Where am I right now? My living room

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yes

Am I excited for anything? not really atm

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? if by sex you mean gender then yes

How often do I wear a fake smile? lmao all the fuckin time

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? wow uuhhhhhhh I dont know! maybe Lana Parrilla lmao idk honestly!

What do I think about most? how much i suck lmfao

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I guess behind, but I dont mind being in front

What was the last lie I told? oh god Im taking care of my little siblings i have no idea

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? depends on the person but usually video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? no, yes

Do I believe in magic? not really

Do I believe in luck? depends on the day

What’s the weather like right now? warm. It’s almost 80, but its getting dark out so it feels nice.

What was the last book I’ve read? rn Im in the middle of Scythe by Neal Shusterman (bc hes putting my name in the third book in the series!!)

Do I have any nicknames? Tess, T, T-Cake, Tessticle

Do I spend money or save it? SPEND lmao

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

Favourite animal? hmmm I guess dog

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? lying on the couch on tumblr

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? oh boy idk

What is my favorite word? people have favorite words?

My top 5 blogs on tumblr bruh idk I dont pay attention to anything

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? be fucking decent already

Do I have any relatives in jail? not at the moment that Im aware of

What is my current desktop picture? Thranduil Tauriel and Legolas lol

Had sex? depends on ur definition

Bought condoms? GLOW IN THE DARK

Gotten pregnant? nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

Had job? yes

Smoked weed? yes

Smoked cigarettes? no

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

Been overweight? technically I think? But not really

Been underweight? yes

Gotten my heart broken? yes

Been to prom? yes

Been in airplane? well yea but I was 4 so I dont remember it so I dont count it

Learned another language? bruh i tried

Wore make up? yes

Dyed my hair? yes

Had a surgery? yes

Met someone famous? yes

Stalked someone on a social network? who hasnt??

Been fishing? yeah but I dont really remember it

Been rejected by a crush? yes

What do I want for birthday? Idk dude thats so far away

Do I like my handwriting? sometimes

Where do I want to live when older? i have no idea

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? never snuck out but yeah Ive been caught doing “anything bad”

What I’m really bad at everything lmao. Sports I guess

What my greatest achievments are my writing probably

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me one time when I was like 14 my mom and I were arguing and she told me it wouldnt be long before I was selling myself on the streets of new york

What I’d do if I won in a lottery ugh pay off my debt and buy a few of the things i want the most

What do I like about myself hairrr

My closest Tumblr friend like tumblr-only? probably leakedinlondon bc shes the only person ive ever talked to on tumblr lmao

Any question you’d like? what

Are you outgoing or shy? yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ femme wlw mostly i guess???

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no but i wish

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my friend Kate who lives in AZ now :(

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah I just did, nothing yet”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Mitski, “Nobody” Florence + The Machine, “Grace” Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby” Mitski, “Pink in the Night” Mitski, “Strawberry Blond” in no particular order

Do you like it when people play with your hair? YESS

Do you think there is life on other planets? yes

Do you like bubble baths? yes but has tiny tub :(

Do you like your neighbors? i dont really know most of them but the ones I do, yeah for the most part

Where would you like to travel? All over the place, but Cuba more than anything

Favorite part of your daily routine? cuddling w my doogggggg

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? muffin toppp

What do you do when you wake up? try to go back to sleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? yes

Do you ever want to get married? idk maybe

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? lmao yea????

Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea

What are your favorite stores to shop in? theres this little like toy store but it has so many funny or adult things that I love. Its called Play

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone

Do you smile at strangers? usually

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? only in my dreams (like literally, I dont want ppl to know what I did in my dreams)

Ever wished you were someone else? always

Favourite makeup brand? dont have one

Last thing you ate? chicken and pasta

Ever won a competition? For what? yeah, a writing competition

Ever been in love? i dont know

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? no

What colour are your towels? purple

Favourite ice cream flavour? cookies and cream

First person you talked to today? my lil brother Ben

Last person you talked to today? talking to both my lil sibs rn

Name a person you hate? fucking CHRIS

Name a person you love? Rebecca <3 ( @parkour-margaret)

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? chris always

Do you tan a lot? BURNN

Have any pets? FOUR

Do you type fast? relatively yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? OH yeah

Ever broken someone’s heart? idk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YUP

Is cheating ever okay? it really depends on the situation but 98% of the time no

Do you believe in true love? yeah. but not just one. everyone can have more than one

What your zodiac sign? aries

Do you believe in ghosts? this question was already asked? no

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “‘Never mind, do not weep,’ answered the frog, ‘I can help you, but”

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stylesunchained · 7 years

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OKAY SO (Louis @ Ed gal again) we got good tickets in like the place where the singers put their friends and family cos my friends dad knows Ed (and for like the entire week me and my friend were like IMAGINE if we met harry ((cos hes like more obviously friends with Ed uno)) but we sat in these seats like at the front of the seating area and it was like 2 mins before Ed was meant to come on and i was looking at the stairs on the end of the row and i saw him and didnt really recognise him cos(1)

cos it was like side on and then I saw Eleanor then looked back at Louis and i was like holyfuckholyfuckholyfuckholyfuck and i tried to tell my friends but i legit thought i was going into cardiac arrest i was trying to be like thats louis tomlinson thats louis tomlinson but then my friend turned around was like thats louis tomlinson and i was like I KNOWW - we were like on the end of the row and they had come from the other end but the only avaliable seats were on the other side of us (2)

so i knew they were gonna sit next to us and i was just like what the hell am i supposed to do im literally going to faint - so they made their way down and got to us so we all stood up to let them past- el was first and i smiled at her then they like shuffled past us and THEY WERE STANDING INFRONT OF US LIKE THEY LITERALLY BRUSHED PAST US!!!!!!! (swear down Louis is no taller than like 5'8" (at a push)) and they all sat down it was El Louis then Oli then a seat and then me and then my friends(3)

and me and my friends were like okay if theres an interval we’ll say hi we dont wanna disturb them and like 20 mins in they all got up and left and we were like aghhh okay but then they came back cos they just went and got drinks and the concert went on and it was v surreal like Louis Tomlinson is 2 seats away from me!!! then at one point this guy behind us got annoyed at us for standing up (like its a concert what do u expect) but my friends stood up anyway and i sat for like half a song (4)

but then my friend looked over at Louis and they both smiled at each other cos they were lolling at the guy behind us - then i stood up and i think they left after that song and we were like agh okay but that was still legit the coolest thing eever!!!!!!! ( i could hear him laughing like throughout and talking and i was just like ????????? my life isnt relevant now????????? everythin ive done up to this point is pointless and meaningless ??????) (5)

and like throughout the entire thing i was trying to text my friends who like 1D that he was there and VERY CLOSE TO ME - but like nothing sent until the end of the concert cos there was no 3G and the second i got out of the arena and got 3g my phone went OFF and it didnt hit until i got home and i was just sitting and i was like ???????? what on the fresh fucking earth just happened to me????? (6)

***

That’s honestly SO COOL, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve kept my cool lmao I’d be like “LOUIS, MY SWEET CHILD” (even tho he’s older than me) and I’d be fawning over Eleanor cause I love her to death and I love her style. Honestly this is the COOLEST thing ever and I’m so happy for you! It must’ve been surreal!

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irenejones · 4 years

Text

ASK ME THINGS

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

I would say anything, I would just kiss him.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Honeymoon phase, wanting to make out all day,

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

Yes I absolutely would care. Weed is okay tho.. sometimes.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

No my last name only has 5 letters.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober (:

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

Absolutely.

7. What does your last received text say?

“lol I think I am too”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

I didn’t count but, a lot.

9. Where was your last kiss at?

Next to my car when he kissed me goodbye.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I think almost two weeks ago. We both have our own lives okay!!!

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Coffee.

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My new bae’s house (;

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

I don’t think they are hard but they are hard to come by. Men are trash lol.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

No, things have been going well for me.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Helllll nah :)

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

My sister

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Jeans, pixie from old navy lol

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I hope so

20. Does anyone like you?

He says he does.

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

I mean probably loollll

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

No, but for Miguel... he would be lmao.

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Wendy Williams

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

I have tattoos

25. In the past week have you cried?

Not in the past week no

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

shit idk

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Yes

29. Do you think you’re old?

Under certain circumstances but I am still young

30. Do you like text messaging?

Not better than in person.

31. What type of day are you having?

Really good, cant wait to be off work tho.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

lol I have my nose pierced

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Rae

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Boffum

37. What song are you listening to?

Its raining men

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? If I said it I meant it!!!!!

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

My sister i love her she is my rock 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

he sent my $50 for my nails because I wouldnt meet up with him, and now I like him & I dont even care about his fucking money lol 41. When did you last receive a text message?

Maybe 30 mins ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?

I can’t really seem to let go out someone who never wanted me in the first place 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

I love and hate this bitch thats how well I know her 44. Does anyone disgust you?

Nah thats kind of harsh and dramatic 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

No.

46. Are you in a good mood right now? Really good but this questions are starting to give me deep thoughts

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

A cleaning lady I needed to send to a hangar at my job 48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Navy blur 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Yeah my mom told me not to get fat 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Rae /:

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Nah I love him

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Yeah but I am starting to 53. Do you like rain?

When im in the house 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Yes because he better drink with me duh fuck 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

I think so 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Love 57. Are you shy? I can be but most of the time no

58. Do you get along with girls? Bitches be hating on the kid

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No but it seems to be headed in that direction

60. What do you carry with you at all times? My phone and wallet lol

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Idk man 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Absolutely 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

NOOOOOO 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

fuck ya do it again 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Yes!!!!!!

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

26, 25, 27? lolllll

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

Get them done 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

leopard 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? no

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Lil Wayne

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? I get Dominios sooooo idk 73. Do you like diet soda? I’ll drink it

74. What color are the walls in your room?

Grey 75. Are you 16 or older?

22 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

77. Do you have a job? I do

78. What are your initials? IJ

79. Did you ever have braces? Yeah

80. Are you from the south?

No, westside with love hoe

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

Idk I dont use fb 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

lol no 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? no

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? The grudge

86. Do you smoke?

I vape 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

flip flops loll 88. Is your phone touch screen?

Its 2020 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

curly, its natural 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

all the time when I was younger 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

well out of the three ive only ever swam in a pool 92. Have you ever made out in a car?

who hasnt 93. …Had sex in a car?

who hasnt 94. Are you single or in a relationship? single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? drinking

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? fourth of july

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? yeah

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? yes lol

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? I dont hate anybody that is literally too much of my energy

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? yeah but I was straight

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

no lol 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

nah 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

why not, yeee ha hoe

0 notes

vitamindmemories · 6 years

Text

mediocre

i wasnt tooo big a fan of my experience between 3-5/6th grade lol .. like, it was fine i guess, but i had just moved schools and towns and houses, and had to make all new friends, not that i really had many in my last school - just one mainly but she was my best friend there . and here, i didnt really have a best friend in the middle of elementary school, like there were people who were nice and were friends, but we didnt connect on that level. i shouldnt complain. but plus the grade was super cliquey, idk if thats just what happens by third grade no matter where you go but they were. and i was getting very slow in school like everything took me forever lol. and there were “popular” kids by then which was super annoying.

i had a hard time in 2nd grade too, no friends in my class but atleast there were people who were kinda nice to me sometimes and my best friend was on my bus, molly. and i liked my house and i was confident lol and we had fun with min because she was a baby so actually i remember that age fondly. and i had a couple bullys, the main bully and his sidekick, and a girl who was my friend but then she got mean to me but then i tricked her into being my friend again lol. and its just annoying because by second and third grade you start getting all kinds of anxiety about being cool or about keeping up with trends which i couldnt barely keep up with or whatever lol. i have a theory that people are pretty tolerant of each other and dont form cliques yet and social hierarchies before 2nd grade . plus i feel like i was socially inept and physically uncoordinated .

high school was fine. atleast i had friends, and best friends. that was cool and what was what i wanted. i felt super safe and i worked hard and got good grades. but like right before high school my neighbor whos two years older than me would throw these big parties at his house all night and my family would get super like Dont Drink like him and Dont Have Sex with boys because Thats all they probably want and then youll get Pregnant. which is advice you should take to an extent . but i was super obedient and i was super gullible and literally was always into doing whatever people told me to for some reason like i guess i didnt want to get in trouble? .. so i was super afraid of all that stuff lol and never fucking tried to drink or Talk to any boys ever through like my whole high school career except for like a second, when i thought about Living like a normal person. so i regret that lol, because here i am like 10 yeares later, still struggling with how to do social things and party .. whoop. hopefully ill catch up . i feel like i nearly did but it was embarassing when i realized how behind i was and how scared of catching up quick enough, i was ..

i guess i was also fit[ter] in high school,..i never appreciated that until i got to college and literally gained the freshman 15, i thought thatd be a myth. its not. still have it. but i never did sports anymore in college. maybe thats why, and maybe i had faster metabolism in highschool..and i didnt snack much because i didnt have a sense of like, autonomy that that was a thing i could do lol, eat when its not mealtime ? i think, i dunno. this’s genetic.

i didnt really start drinking until like haha when i was actually 21.. and i played club hockey and those girls could party and they were really approachable and safe and helpful about it ha, so that was nice, they helped me get my way into it in a good way. then in senior year id go and hang out at some of my closest friends’ appartment in one of the dorms, and we’d drink white wine from the convenient store across the street, or this free henessey that a guy gave my friend to woo her but she didnt want it and i never even finished it, its still in the closet downstairs lol, 5 years later ? i was a weird drunk though, before i learned to get a grip on myself, id like try to hold peoples hands or hold on to people (that i was good enough friends with) and tell them all my thoughts and feelings ha . tell them how much i like them or whatever. lie down on the floor. walk around without pants. just in the apartment or around people i trust lol. embarassing. or like try to make out with anyone whos not a hobo or old person or baby ha. idkk.

i didnt consciously try to date really, until my last year of college. idk, i thought i wasnt ready or something or thought itd be overwhelming or i wouldnt be good at it and itd just be an embarassment i guess. i think i just casually mentioned wanting to be dating and my dad ha actually goes, you should do online dating ! so i did and i actually learned a lot about making convo that way, you get to talk to all these strangers and if it doesn’t work out, it doesnt matter and you can just stop, and id never been too social so i was getting some good practice talking to people there ha.

im always afraid that looking back, ive made a horrible fool of myself socially mostly, and i wasnt aware of it ha . but i feel like i dont say much most of the time so how bad could it really be.

i think mostly im embarassing, ive been informed, because ive been not very confident and then i might mumble my words and its just hard to understand and painful to watch . and then i start scratching and fidgeting when im nervous. ee. idkk im hopingg i feel like ive gotten much more confident since working at ch last year, because if youre not confident there youll literally get your ass handed to you. so in about 6 months you learn how to say what you want and set boundaries, and i had a friend who was just like me but i feel like people liked her more and i was like, why do they ? and i was like, probs because shes more articulate and confident, so i decided to be more conscious of how things sound when they come out my mouthh. if im embarassing for anything else its been just like knowing social norms lol and convo making and how to make romantic moves/take cues, but ive been putting myself out there a lot more these past few years, painfully, and feell like ive learned a lot and am a lot more aware of what im doing [right] so thats better.

#mediocre #school #goals #i guess this doesnt belong here but i didnt know where else it should go

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tournesls · 6 years

Text

u probably don't want to read this is just me incoherently rambling on about how I hate school and complaining that life (specifically mine) sucks so maybe don't read

i honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this second trimester. we don’t have semesters in my school or quarters bc we’re k-8 and I’m in 8th and fuck. these are gonna be the worst few months ever. after summer it just gets So Bad. summer is my favorite season GOD I miss her. my skin was clear, I was out doing shit, I was hanging out with my friends, I was pretty healthy and now fucking fall/winter comes and SCHOOL and BASKETBALL and everything goes to shit. I’ve played basketball since 4th grade and this is the first year I’ve been so unmotivated to do it. I love the sport, its the people on my team and the people that aren’t on my team that I hate! the only things Im looking forward to in winter are, my bday which the week after next (yay!), winter break LIKE DEADASS I’m on break rn and I’m anticipating my next one lol, and seeing brockhampton in February, and my best friend’s birthday because we’re gonna do something fun. but my grades are kinda slipping and shit’s becoming harder and I’m going to high school next year, and all my teachers are trying to prepare us and its too fast. my school is oh so special and we get to choose from 5 different high schools, AND MY TOWN IS SO SMALL IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. the closest one is about a half hour away and it’s like the second to shittiest one (which would’ve been our default school) and the other closest IS the shittiest one and then all the good schools (that I’m going to have to go to thanks mum) are at least 40 mins away AND THATS EVERY MORNING AND AFTERNOON FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. and its just so scary. like we’re not even 3 whole months into the school year and next week people are visiting the shitty high schools (not me) to see what a day’s like there and if they want to go there and we have to choose a high school by the end of January and none of them feel right for me and I hate my teachers and I hate this program because its hard for a 14 year old to choose things and I wish we could all just go to this shitty school like every one else has FOREVER this just happened to start a few years before now and UGONGLKSNFKLAHNL. like my best friend who’s visiting the shittiest school next week (bc her brother goes there and her mom is practically making her go) got this question list and it said shit like “what do you want to do in your life/future” ass shit like WHAT? WE ARE 13 AND 14 YEAR OLDS WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW. MY MOTHER DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO SHES 34 WHAT THE FUCK. I hate this, I hate adults, I hate that they had the decision to let us make our own decision. I hate that I’m so stupid and this is literally nothing IM SO LUCKY. I HATE NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER AND JANUARY AND FEBRUARY and I don’t really like march or April BUT I LOVE MAY AND JUNE AND JULY AND AUGUST and September and October are ok. I’m gonna post this under a read more because I’m so annoying and this is pointless and I deadass want to kill myself because I wouldn’t have to go through all this shit and my sister got taken away from my dad and the last time I saw her was a moth ago and I miss her so much and her moms a driggie my dads a SHITHEAD and I love my mom and i wish my dad loved me and fuck I’m so annoying like tonight? I WAS SO ANNOYING I was hanging out with my best friend and we just went to Walmart and tj maxx with her mum and I was just annoying and I love them so much they’re like my second family. and theres this kid in my class who has the stupidest name but he’s really nice and nerdy and called me LITTLE BEAR which is an inside joke but everyone thought he as creepy up until 7th grade when my friend got a crush on him. everyone called her weird and he said no to her when my friends asked him out for her and it was sad. now I think he’s kinda cute, my best friend thinks he’s cute and we talk about him a lot and he GOT SO TALL over summer vacation and he’s so weird but I got to know him over last weekend because me him and these 3 girls from my class are in this adventuring group thing with kids from another school and he never talks to us in class but me and two of the girls talked to him a lot and we went bowling and he was so nice and funny and I talk to him in school and I told him to watch stranger things. my best friend read our texts WHICH WAS JUST US TALKING ABOUT TV out loud to her mum and they said he liked me and that was weird because no one likes me and he likes this other girl I know and I’m literally so ugly and fat and gross but I’m trying to learn to love myself more and its been working out quite well. social media has actually been helping a bit (weird right?) but idk how I’m gonna get through school. if I cant get through fucking 8th grade then how am I gonna get through high school? life in general? idk what I want to do? I honestly can’t imagine myself outside of the school ive been going to for the past 7 years. I can’t imagine myself getting past the age of 14. I’m 13. I can’t imagine myself in college and I just recently went on a college campus for the first time and I loved it! but it was so weird, so scary. this 8th grade year is so different because there are so many traditions that get thrown at you because this is the last year you’ll be going to this school in this incredibly small town. theres going to spend a whole week in the woods with your class with no phones, theres fundraising for the class trip WHICH IS GONNA BE IN A FRENCH SPEAKING COUNTRY AND IVE BEEN TAKING FRENCH FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS AND I DONT KNOW SHIT (its in Canada) and theres so much community service and traveling and in band we have to perform for older people and I wish I could write this much for the essay I have due last week. the essay is about something I like and something that motivates me (lgbtq rights in schools and how to stop people bullying lgbtq students) I still can’t write it I just hate school and everything about it. I don’t want to go to basketball practice tomorrow but I have to and if it was just a practice id be fine but we’re scrimmaging and ugh I fucking hate my school SO MUCH and have I said how much I hate myself? because its a fucking lot. time goes by so quick and I just want to go to sleep but then everything will be wasted and everything sucks and Im sososoosososooooo tired and I’m so overdramatic and fucking immature and dumb and I think yes I am gonna post this maybe privately though just so I can read it after this winter and oh that reminds me of Kieveee when we had to write letters to ourselves that we’ll get before we graduate stg. I’m not ready for graduation I know ill cry . ill cry so much because when say I FUCKING HATE THIS SCHOOL I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT I actually mean I love this school its my safe place all my friends are here my classmates, though some are annoying, I love all of you and god I’m not ready to be a “big kid” and I wish I was a little kid again and I love u mr. m and mrs.s and fuck Idont want to leave

ok goodnight school sucks and my life revolves around it

#laura's bs

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survivorindia · 7 years

Text

Creepy random asshole who appears randomly at the beginning and then disappears. - Kendall (Episode 12)

youtube

https://youtu.be/cN6UaKTHxUA Ok heres what I want everyone to know. IM THE MOST PARANOID PERSON IN THE FUCKING WORLD. AND I CAN READ PEOPLE VERY WELL. AND I THINK I HAVE GONE MENTALLY INSANE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL FUCKING AMAZING! If yall think that I am going to go home 9TH! place! NINTH FUCKING PLACE by the hands of the seasons biggest buffoons than yall dont know me very well HUH. Lexi g, kendall and I made an alliance chat today and it sat so good with me. I was like omg yas we finally have someone (Kendall and I) We finally do! ... Then I got the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach and it was just something that did not sit right. I couldnt put my finger on it. I knew robin and alexis were voting me tn, and people have been after me hard core...since...well...before merge and the fact that Im sitting here in single digits is fucking surreal. Im probably going home soon.....SO WOULDNT IT MAKE SENSE FOR SOME ONE TO FLIP!? WOULDNT IT? I MEAN. IF I WAS IN ANYONE ELSES SHOES. I would make sure as FUCK to get me out. This is not cocky but like....im still here after how many fucking attempts? Which is why I think ash and lexi g are voting me out..OR GOING AGAINST me so thats both lexis, robin and ashley But lets look at the facts of why I think theyre going against me No one talks to me all day, except for alex and kendall. Interesting. Lexi G, plays lost puppy like no one cared about her in her alliance. Interesting. Ashley is being short with me. HM. Go on call with Lexi G, feel like abosoLUTE SHIT AND I KNOW SHES LYING TO ME, Lexi mentions ashley on call but backtracks and im like..........................oh my fucking god. !!! THEN HERE COMES THE STORM: I tell kendall ashley is voting me out, they make a chat, i tell kendall to add lexi g, this is secretly a test to see if my suspicions are true AND 5 MINS AFTER THE CHAT IS MADE ASHLEY ASKS ME WHY I THINK IM VOTING HER OUT LOLOLOLOLOLOLO FUCK OFF\ [6:17:53 PM] Sarah: ashley [6:17:57 PM] Sarah: can u just be honest [6:17:58 PM] Sarah: with me [6:17:59 PM] Sarah: like [6:18:01 PM] Sarah: legit [6:18:04 PM] Sarah: idc that ur voting me [6:18:07 PM] Sarah: but like [6:18:12 PM] Ashley Hudson: I am not voting you. [6:18:13 PM] Sarah: ive been NOTHING but straight up [6:18:17 PM] Sarah: like IT WOULD MAKE SENSE [6:18:25 PM] Sarah: I would do it if I were u [6:18:31 PM] Ashley Hudson: it wouldn't make sense I THINK IVE GONE INSANE BUT LIKE I HAVE A GUT FEELING I JUSY KNOW AND I HOPE ITS RIGHT OTHERWISE ASHLEYS GONNA HATE MEEEEE Ashley: you have been like my #1 this whole time why would I throw that away me thinking: YOU LITERALLY GOT "WHO DO U FORGET IS STILL PLAYING THIS GAME" IN TOUCHY SUBJECTS OF FUCKING COURSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A BIG MOVE IDC IF I GO HOME BY ROCKS IDFC BUT LIKE WHY DO THESE BITCHES THINL IM FUCKIJG STUPID IVE BEEN SAYING THIS ALL GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 NOW FOR THE HOME LANDING: Ashley: you have been like my #1 this whole time why would I throw that away you are the one that is aligned with Kendall, and I guess want Lexi G in on that? that's cool. #CONFIRMED LEXI G AND ASHLEY FLIPPED CONFIRMED AHDHDOIFHJSDOI;FKJSDF WHY WOULD ASHLEY KNOW ABOUT THAT OTHER THAN LEXI G FUCK OFF WERE GOING TO ROCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKS! SEE U ON THE OTHERSIDE BITCHES

The detailed account of my evil plan of which I shown to the Samantha that I had purchased-

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FC9bUbYixYpVNdOA6LwrnUhXryI4Bo3tnWLVqB4RgMY/edit

You know, I think I finally get it. I think I finally understand Sarah, Jordan, and even Gavin. Allow me to elaborate. Unless you have been drunk for this entire season, it is well known fact that we were surrounded by Pathological Liars. I'm not saying that to be a judgmental asshat, I came to this conclusion via unbiased observation. Jaiden.... Dom.... Ruben.... What do all these people have in common? If you said they had a dick, yes but that's not the point I'm trying to make. At one point or another someone on my side tried to reach out to them and be all like "Hey let's work together because no one would suspect it," Jaiden/Dom/Ruben would agree and not even five minutes after they make the vow, they would go out of their way to get those three out. Whether they expose them, give them false information, or just talk shit; these guys would always take advantage of the trust they were given and go out of their way to make a messy as fuck tribal. And after everything has gone to shit what do they do? They come crawling back like their battered wives and be like "Hey let's work together". And the same shit keeps happening over and over again. Until they get voted out. I almost fell into that cycle in the case of Robin but luckily my personality, which is one of a vengeful emotionally stunted woman child, prevented it from happening after she revealed me to Gavin. But I think I'm about to fall into it again... though this time with Lexi L. Lexi L. is a fascinating individual, without Gavin around, she appears to be a more rational and calculating kind of player. Given the right tools, I think she could make some sort of impact on the game. Plus her sense of humor is amazing! I really really want to keep her around and not just because I have a death wish or because I am bored. I think she could be a useful tool for my quest for world domination.... well game domination... If I learned anything from ORGs, this one in particular, it's that the truth doesn't really matter. Everyone has already crafted their own stories in their head, one's where they are the super heroes or the super villains, maybe even the damsel in distress. Even if the truth is shown right in their face, people refuse to accept it, instead finding refuge in their earlier perceptions. I think that's why the whole edgic thing is so popular, it falls in line with this kind of thinking. The story I want to "create" is an underdog story. One where the villain is Lexi L and the reluctant hero is myself. Lexi L takes out everyone I am aligned with, everyone who is considered a threat, and then at the final 4 or maybe the final 5, I behead the dragon. I promise I am not doing this to fuel my own ego nor do I have any real delusions of grandeur. I know and accept the fact that I'm not some messiah archetype, hell I'm not even the satan archetype. I'm more like the creepy random asshole who appears randomly at the beginning and then just sort of disappears. The thing is, they don't know that. All I need to do is to make them think the opposite of that fact. Plus if I do that Sarah, Alex and Gavin won't hate me forever! Which would be great because I like all of them very much and don't think I'll be able to handle their hatred. Now that I think about it, they'll probably hate forever after reading this..... Why am I putting this down in the confessionals again? Oh right because I went this entire season without gloating about some evil plan and it's starting to feel very weird. I think I want to work with Lexi L to make this happen. I want us to craft a story in which the hero and villain fight to the death... but I'm probably going to leave that part out if I ever pitch it to her. On paper this sounds like a good idea but only if you didn't read my first couple paragraphs... I have no sure way to control her. What I am I supposed to do rely on her benevolence and friendship? That is a terrible incentive for loyalty, I mean look at right now, I am literally plotting to destroy my own alliance. And the only thing that is supposed to stop me is the power of 'friendship' or 'showmance' or whatever... Clearly this isn't working! All it's doing is making me feel mildly guilty and paranoid. Another thing that's stopping me is the past. If one goes through my previous confessionals from previous games, you'll see they all have one thing in common. Well two things if you count the idol fucking... Every time I tried to flip or make a #bigmood, bad things follow. Don't believe me? Malaysia: Tried to help Mitchell, got voted out by everyone and their mothers. Rebels versus Rogues: Tried to help out Simon, got idol out. Technotits: Tried to help out little AJ, ended up voted out unanimously... again! I may be dumb enough to fall for the same thing three times in a row but not a forth! I mean, I think. Cause I already gave Lexi L. the map we've been using to find the vote negator, places we looked included. For all I know, she already showed it to Gavin, Alex, Ashley, and Liam. I'm not as concerned with Sarah cause I already told her but I'm not sure if one vote will make much of a difference. I don't want Lexi L. to be my Jaiden or Dom or Ruben, all that will really do is hinder me. But I want to do this plan so badly! If it seems like I wasted your time with a pointless subplot, chances are I have and I am almost sorry. I swear it's like nobody can make a decision on their own! Like it takes ten billion years for anything to get done! LIKE UGGGHHHHHHHHHH Also I think we found out what the opal idol does. And it's from Hellwaii so we hate it based on instinct. Also now Sarah actually wants to vote out Gavin and I don't know how I feel about that... I mean I can save her probably but should I? Because I don't think it's in my best interest to cheat a group of people who have my back over a group of complete strangers who don't. On the other hand if I just be a good little puppy and tattle on her and save everyone, would it make a difference? I'll just be following the same path I have been trying to escape... I know I know this is almost exactly what I asked for but I need the option to go back if things get to heavy. I adore Sarah but I shouldn't drop everything just because she asks me too.... The Gavin's plan was to have 4 vote for Lexi and 3 vote for Robin. Sarah is one of the Lexi votes so if I could convince her to flip and make it a three three three vote (Lexi, Robin, Gavin) then we can flip with other Lexi and nobody will know it was us... Oh wait now it turns out that they want her out. Again, what did she do to piss these people off? I should probably stop editing in real time and actually submit this damn thing

Well everything has gone to hell. I'm pretty sure Sarah has gone insane, she keeps saying that Ashley and Lexi G. are trying to get her out but refuses to explain why. She said it was a gut feeling and I guess, despite how psychotic she may sound, she could be right. Ashley isn't exactly close with any of us and was pretty crestfallen that she was picked out as most forgettable in touchy subjects. So her flipping would make sense. Lexi G is... well she has been going on and on with the woe is me crap and I almost bought into it. Fuck I actually did buy into it for like the past week and a half. There is just something off about her... like even someone like me could sense it. Right after Sarah told Lexi G that she was flipping the vote to Robin, the news started to get upset in the main chat. And honestly, I don't begrudge them for it. I mean, it seems like every time something would go their way something else would go in and stop them. They swap fuck Sarah and Ashley, we send them idols, Jaiden finds an idol, the hosts blurt it out in the VL, They finally get someone to flip to their side, SARAH GOES APE SHIT INSANE. If stuff like this happened to me on a day to day basis I would probably have a similar reaction. Hell I did have a similar reaction in Malaysia, though I was more mopey and passive aggressive. Also some chick named Julia (I think it's the magical one but I'm not really sure?) might be harassing Lexi L. And the hosts are allegedly talking shit about the contestants, the newbies in particular, and that's kind of messed up. Lexi L seems to be on the verge of quitting or she is just playing it up for our pity, at this point I really don't know. Like I want to empathize with her and the other contestants but I don't honestly know whether or not I should. Like sometimes it seems like there is layer after layer beneath them and every time I think I find a genuine emotion of some kind it turns out to be a lie. Like this shit happened all the time in High School, I don't exactly want to relive it in here. I know this differs from my usual calculating yet spacey confessionals about conspiracy theories or how weak I am but this is supposed to be fun, not just for me and my allies but for everyone around us. We should be enjoying coming up with strategies and trying to fight each other. We should be talking and having fun but we aren't... everyone seems to genuinely hate each other. And any reach across the aisle is seen as some sort of threat. I liked being friends with Robin, I liked talking to Lexi L about the 100 and other things, fuck I even liked talking to Jaiden and his day to day life. I didn't want to betray them or be mean to them, even when I talked shit in confessionals I mostly did it for my own amusement. Yeah things are going well but I can't help but feel like this is undeserved. Like power came at the cost of everyone else's enjoyment. It's like the final battle with Master Hand in Super Smash Bros Brawl. You go through all these stages against the master hand, from beginning stages to the end but then... he just turns into an orb. He doesn't fight back, he doesn't do anything he just lies there waiting to be defeated. If this is all just an elaborate ploy to get us to lower our guards then seriously fuck you. I hate it when my emotions over power my brain and if you guys did it on purpose that is a new fucking low. It's not smart it's not clever it's just unnecessary cruelty and I hate you for it. But if it's the truth... then I'm sorry.

Well Sarah decided to play her Ruby Idol... I am probably fucked... Well if I go home know that I am not going to stop spamming the confessional because fuck you that's why.

Well Sarah decided to play her Ruby Idol... I am probably fucked... Well if I go home know that I am not going to stop spamming the confessional because fuck you that's why. Well, Haven't made on of these in a while. Oops. So the game is going okay, Sarah and I are working together pretty closely. Though she usually lives up to her villain title so I will forever be on guard with her. Gavin and I are still okay I guess, I think he might be getting closer to the other "side" or he just is getting closer to Alex, who knows. Pretty much our group is me, Sarah, Gavin, and Alex, from what I can see right now. We haven't talked much in that chat because we are still working with the bigger group but as number dwindle I can see us talking much more in our alliance chat. I am not too salty about Jordan leaving (A while ago, I know) but I do miss his strategic ways. We just did touchy subjects, and I didn't receive the answers that I usually get, which is cool because I am trying to play this game a bit different than I usually do. In fact, I got the "who do you forget is playing?" Majority vote. Yeah, that would be because I am doing shit behind y'all's back, duh. I think by the end of this game, my stance as a "hero" will not quite be true anymore and I am excited. Should be interesting.

Alright, so I found the negator that my whole alliance has been looking for. But tbh I ain't going to tell them because it could come in handy for my game later. I don't want the game to end up being just my alliance and have my ass end up on the bottom unable to do anything so hopefully to shake things up later I can keep that I have the negator under wraps. Maybe they will "forget" I am even a person that could have it. ;)

#youdontgetmycrownjustcause

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