#the show never asked Ed to forgive Hohenheim

[kittypryde-bipride]

limbo, chapter 2

“I swear to Truth, if you pat touch the top of my head one more time, you’re going to lose a hand!” Ed screeches, panting with rage.

 Cat just grins back at him- he doesn’t know how he ever could’ve thought of her as innocent. “Oh my,” she says, sweet as can be. He is not falling for it. “Feel better now?”

 He hisses at her and she coos. “Do NOT presume to know me!”

 “It’s really quite impressive how much anger can be stored in-”

 “-DON’T TEST ME CAT, I SWEAR-”

 “-such a small container.”

 “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY CAN’T DEFEND THEMSELVES!” He rears up, holding up his fists and leaping in front of her, but she just laughs and pushes him down. He lands head-first on the ground, then pops back up, shaking sand out of his hair- there’s no way he’s getting it all without at least one long shower.

He seethes quietly – he’s already learned he can’t beat her in a fight, not hand to hand – while she scans their surroundings. “Alright, Edward Elric, where do you think we are?”

 He scoffs up at her and crosses his arms. “How should I know? You’re the one who said we should jump out of the train early because the sun looked pretty.”

 “And so it does.” She extends her palm out dreamily, letting it warm her, before turning back to him. “I stand by that. However, I believe you’re significantly more well-traveled than me, as I’ve never quite left Central before now. I was hoping you’d have some level of travel expertise, or at least a way to make us shelter.”

 Ed sighs, dropping his bag into the sand surrounding them, then follows it down himself. “Unfortunately, I used my alchemy for all that, and I’m not much of an alchemist these days. All my usefulness was shot the minute I made a trade with Truth.”

 She frowns at him. “My brother is an alchemist, and even that was too abstract for me to follow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him mention Truth in his metaphorical ramblings?”

 “Yeah, well, I’m a different class of alchemist than Major Armstrong,” Ed says, not without a sense of pride. It only lasts a second before he deflates again, running his hand through the sand and letting the grains fall through his fingers. “Or was, at least.”

 Catherine snorts and yanks him to his feet, then picks up his suitcase and starts walking in a random direction. “My impression was once an alchemist, always an alchemist. Or did that deal scramble your brains?”

 “I still know how to be an alchemist,” he retorts. “There’s just not a lot of use for it now. It’s like… It’s like my friend, Winry, you know? She’s a genius with automail and machinery, but if you took away her hands, all of that skill would go to waste. I have all the knowledge and skill, but none of the ability.”

 “That’s selling your friend a little short, isn’t it?” She asks thoughtfully.

 “How so?”

 “There’s a couple of things- first off, I bet she could get new hands with automail.” Ed moves to interject, but Catherine starts moving faster, forcing him to jog to keep pace. “I know automail decreases fine motor control, but if she’s really a genius, I bet she could figure out a solution. And moreover- she doesn’t have to stay a mechanic. She could teach others, she could research better techniques for others- hell, she could find a new passion altogether. Point is? Her life wouldn’t be over. I don’t get why you’re letting this sidetrack you so badly, I expected more-”

 Ed finally catches up with her and turns to glare, mouth twisted in an ugly grimace. “I can’t do any of that, okay? I can’t! You shouldn’t expect more from me-”

 “Well, why not?” She fires back.

 His breath is speeding up and he wants to think it’s because of his slow run, even though he knows he’s still too in shape for it to affect him this bad. “Be- Because you shouldn’t! I- I don’t have another way to practice, there’s no way to make up for the handicap. And I haven’t been interested in research beyond what’s essential to restore Al’s body since, since my mom died! And I don’t have another passion, alright? I tried so hard to move on, after I lost everything, but all I did was burden people- they would’ve all grown to hate me, I know they would’ve, just like my brother-”

 He stops when she drops all their bags to pull him into a close hug, so tight he almost can’t breathe- it’s comforting in how secure she feels. His voice cuts off immediately and he’s left with his panicked breathing and something in his eyes feels wet and it’s so, so embarrassing—

 “I’m sorry for poking at you, Ed. I know things aren’t always as easy as they seem, and I shouldn’t assume.” She pets his hair while he calms, going mostly limp, leaning on her for support. “Was there ever a time you loved alchemy?”

 He looks up at her, shining eyes wide at her soft smile, and his voice wobbles when he speaks. He’s never felt his too-young age more. “When Al and I were kids, we used to stay up late to read my dad’s books. He wasn’t around a lot. I- I remember our mom would come in and be so concerned over how late we were up, but then we’d show her what we made and she would be so, so proud of us.” He sniffles and steps back, smiling a little at the memory- he hasn’t thought about this in ages. “I made her a bird, once, and she put it up in our kitchen.”

 Catherine grabs the rest of their bags and starts them walking again, trying to find someplace to stay before the approaching sunset. “That sounds really nice. Do you want to hear about the time I beat my brother in an arm-wrestling match?”

 His eyes light up and she bursts out laughing- the rest of their walk is spent reminiscing over a time when their talents weren’t valued as commodities, and they were just kids exploring a hobby. It’s bittersweet, remembering how he once viewed alchemy as more than a battle strategy, but it’s also nice to think back to his childhood focus on being innovative and creative with it.

 They’ve been walking for hours and the cold’s set in when they finally see structures on the horizon, signs of life. They both start running towards it, hitting a second wind of energy, but are met with two hulking figures blocking them from entry.

 Ed looks up at Scar and Hohenheim and thinks, oh shit.

 ---

 Ed’s honestly not sure what would be more bothersome: having to fight his way through this village or being forced to sit for tea with his father.

 As it is, he’s sitting tensely in the corner of a room while Catherine talks happily with his dad- he thinks she could smile less, Hohenheim isn’t that funny, after all. Ed crosses his arms – the room seems to darken as a shadow passes over them, the weak candlelight flickering – and Hohenheim finally glances over at him.

 “Ah, Ms. Catherine, could we pick this up later? I believe my son and I need to have a long overdue conversation. I believe you’ve briefly been acquainted with Scar; he could show you around the area?” She looks to Ed for confirmation – not permission, but to make sure he’ll be okay left alone – and he offhandedly nods.

 Hohenheim waits for her to leave before leaning towards Ed, smiling faintly. “It’s been a long time, Edward. How have you been?”

 Ed sits back in his chair and scowls as intently as he can.

 “Any news since the Promised Day? How’s Al?”

 Ed doesn’t blink.

 “How have things been without alchemy? I spent a lot of time out East, back in the day, there’s ways to apply your knowledge without that direct connection-”

 “Could we not do this right now?” Ed finally breaks.

 Hohenheim smiles, self-assuredly, and Ed wants to punch him. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

 Ed screeches, lunges towards him, and actually does punch him- to his surprise, Hohenheim takes it without fighting back. “What are you even doing here?”

 “Well, that’s a complicated question. After all that went down on the Promised Day, I spent some time trying to figure out what to do next- I thought about just settling down next to your mother’s grave for one thing, letting everything catch up with me. I ended up here, where the remaining Ishvalans have gathered. I’ve been helping them rebuild, with what little I can do. Truth knows I’ve needed a break, but this had to be done.”

 Hohenheim sighs heavily and Ed frowns at him, stepping back. “Why didn’t you take the chance to rest?”

 He laughs sheepishly and shrugs. “I suppose I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I’ve taken so much from the people of this world – contributed to so much of their hardship, intentionally or not – and I felt that giving up without trying to make at least one thing right would be the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.” Something in Ed’s cold expression seems to falter, just long enough for his father to notice, and Hohenheim looks down. “I suppose it’s not fair to talk to you about my being selfish. I’m sure you were frustrated when I up and disappeared after everything happened?”

 Ed studiously avoids even looking at where his father sits. “Al thought you were dead. I couldn’t have cared less, beyond his being upset about it.”

 “I guess I deserve that,” Hohenheim offers. Ed doesn’t respond. “Look- after the Promised Day, I was out of power. All those souls got used up fighting Father. I’ve only got my own now, and it’s only got a year left, maybe. Every single one of those souls was selfless in the end, giving up their existence to help me win that fight; it’s the least I can do now to carry on that idea, for the little time I have.”

 “Al would be angry if you died without saying goodbye,” Ed mutters petulantly.

 Hohenheim laughs loudly and smiles fondly- Ed doesn’t think he used to smile ever, not even when he and Al were kids. “I’m sure he would be. Your companion, Ms. Catherine, seemed to mention you had a falling out. I’d hope you’ll let him know that I left for a reason? Both times?”

 Hohenheim is as strong and imposing as ever, but there’s something pleading lying under the surface now. Ed can’t forgive him – he probably never will, all those scars still digging in from when he was a child – but he can respect what he’s doing now.

 “I’ll let him know. And- and I don’t have power anymore, but I think I’ll stick around a while, if that’s alright. Help you rebuild, and all that.” Redeem himself for joining the State Alchemists even when he knew how much blood he’d spill, but Ed can’t say that- not when Al so recently condemned him for it and his own demons haven’t faded.

 “I think that sounds like a great idea,” Hohenheim answers, and his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

 ---

 Ed’s trained himself to be a fighting machine since he was a child, but he’s not used to hard labor- he’s always had his alchemy to pick up the slack while he focused on close combat techniques. As it is, he’s panting heavily while trying to help hoist a canvas roof over a newly erected home.

 It doesn’t help that he’s working with Scar and might be a few feet too short to lift it up, but if anyone comments Ed will show them how hard he can still punch without alchemy.

 They finally lift it up, covering the home, then Scar quietly directs him over to the next open patch of land, each of them carrying a bucket of water and mud- there’s not a lot of resources this deep in the desert, and Scar’s had to create what few building tools they have.

 Ed silently looks away each time Scar pulls oxygen and hydrogen out of the air to make more water, carefully ignores how Hohenheim almost certainly trained him on something more than just basic creation and destruction. At least they’re building the houses by hand, something that Ed can actually help with.

 They start raising the structure, building it muddy brick by brick, and Ed feels content in Scar’s silent presence- he’s not usually this comfortable with this much quiet. It’s peaceful.

 They get done building the foundational structure of the walls before Scar gruffly calls it a day, telling Ed that they’ll have to wait for it to harden before continuing. Ed looks at the progress they’ve made – he and Scar put roofs on three houses and built the base of one, Catherine and Hohenheim built the bases of two, and there’s nearly a dozen Ishvalans doing even more – and realizes this is the most he’s done for someone since long before the Promised Day, back when he was called the People’s Alchemist and Amestris’s civilians needed him.

 Ed has been hurt and damaged by the loss of his alchemy, but he’s not broken by it. There’s still a future for him to try and find, whether it’s through teaching or research or going East like his dad mentioned. He can keep helping people, the thing that made his alchemic talent feel the most important, and return home better.

 Scar invites him into one of the houses for dinner, and Ed laughs along with the children who crowd around him, asking for stories. He tells them some of his favorite accomplishments as an alchemist, all the way back to defeating corruption in Youswell, and finishes by explaining his first feat of creativity: putting together a tiny bird. He walks Scar through the motions and knowledge, and grins as the children cheer at the finished – if not lopsided – product.

 He’ll be okay sticking around a while longer, to help the Ishvalans build a new home.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26252785/chapters/69795654#workskin

#fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #edward elric #catherine armstrong #ao3

[justanotherghostwriter]

Please write essays about Ed n Al n Winry and how they love people a lot. I just finished my manga reread and want to continue sobbing about these good kids

WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED.

I feel like I might have deceived you, though, because this is not going to be as well-researched or coherently structured as an essay should be. But I’ll give it my best bang, while feeling a lot of things about these darn children whom I love immensely.

Let’s start with our soft sunshine boy, shall we? Because if anybody will be the first of this trio to be described as “loving” it’s Alphonse. Al loves people a lot. Al loves animals a lot, especially cats. Al loves experiences a lot - that was why it was so hurtful for him to be deprived of touch and taste in that armoured body, because Al is the sort of person who would have savoured new food and the feeling of rain etc even before it took on a new, very significant meaning for him. It’s also very sad that the more physical-touch orientated of the brothers - based on flashbacks and photos; Al never begrudged physical contact and seemed to lean into it, from what I could tell - was given a body that could not only not feel, but that was strong and therefore had to be reigned in. The number of times he automatically reaches out to hold somebody and hesitates or pulls back completely breaks my heart, sometimes.

Al also loves with words of affirmation and, to a small degree, acts of service. (Which, as you’ll see in the rest of this, is typical of all three of these babes, and I think something telling about Arakawa herself, and touches a tiny bit, in my humble opinion, on her ‘those who don’t work don’t deserve to eat’ motto. But I digress.) It’s pretty obvious that Al loves easily and quickly - he’s friendly, open, charming (a gentleman, unlike his brother! =P) and willing to show affection and lend help without strings attached from pretty much the get go. Even Hohenheim remarks on the fact that this golden-hearted kid accepts him as father and calls him such with such ease and forgiveness.

The down sides to Al loving so easily and openly and universally are threefold. The first problem is obvious: he can very easily put his trust in the wrong people and be hurt or misled or both. The second and third are both personal speculation and observation from my one (1) watchthrough of Brotherhood and frantic manga reading that happened over the span of two weeks in-between hectic work days. In other words, it’s very possibly incredibly flawed. But I’m going to lay it out there, anyway. Ahem. I propose that the second downside is related to the first: that once his trust is broken completely and without any reason or redemption (like the reasons Hohenheim gave him for leaving) it’s pretty much broken forever. And then you get the side of Al that grabbed that Stone and laid hell upon Kimblee and Pride. Then you get the side of Al that is very similar to Riza - 'I know what I’m doing is wrong, but it’s for the people I swore to protect, and I will sin in order to bring about justice.’ Al is pretty much that “cinnamon roll turned your worst nightmare when finally crossed” trope, in my mind. And, boy, does he have the cold, calculating, meticulous kind of mind to wreak destruction.

The third downside to Al’s way of loving with that huge, golden heart of his is even more speculation on my part: the lines between depths of love are more difficult for him, and for those he interacts with. If you’re willing to be that open, friendly and affectionate toward people you’ve just met, then how do you show your deeper affection to people who mean something special to you? In the series, Al is seen scolding Ed more than anything else - the first time I got a real, solid, wow taste of Al’s love for his brother being something more than the love he gives out freely to others is when Ed got eaten and Al thought he might be dead. I know this is because Ed frequently needs admonishment, and because they’re teenage boys, and because Al and Ed have a bond that usually doesn’t need things being said, but, as Winry points out, sometimes even the Elric brothers have to say it in words. And Al says it so much with everybody that to differentiate usually needs… well. Self-sacrifice so his brother can get his arm back to kick a semi-god’s butt. I’m not sure, exactly, if Al will struggle with this as he grows - learning how to 'show levels’ of love - but I do think other people around him may struggle with it and interpreting it. But that’s just my personal speculation.

Moving on to the Automail goddess of my heart. Winry fascinated me from the very moment that she was introduced in Brotherhood, because I thought I knew her type ('Ah, the affection through physical harm anime girl trope’) until three minutes later when she was soft and, without any sarcasm or hinting that it was Such A Big Deal, promised to work through the night to get Ed’s arm for him in three days. And that soft side of her got to develop so much over the series that it makes me hearteyes just thinking about it.

Winry is physical touch and acts of service in the way she shows love, pretty obviously. And I see her as a mix between Ed and Al; she’s pretty open with her affection, even to new people, but she’s a lot more vocal and demonstrative with her emotions than Al is. She’s not scared to put herself out there and admit how she’s feeling (we see this with Maes, with Scar and even with her response to Ed’s proposal) or to show it - Winry’s the sling arms around your shoulders kinda girl. Bring you into her circle kinda girl. I think that balance between the muchness of her love and the physical side to her affection, coupled with the fact that she grew up around Pinako and Ed, is what makes her react so loudly and violently with Ed, in particular. It’s just a lot to feel, and exploding is the only way she can express it.

But, most importantly, Winry explodes with Ed because she’s instinctively pegged that as his way of expressing and understanding emotions. Winry’s love is expressed in a way unique to every person she’s expressing it to - she almost mirrors a person’s love language/expression back to them. It’s so subtle, and maybe it’s just me reading things into things where they’re not, but I’ve watched/read Winry 'chameleon’ her expressions of love - not completely, but slightly - depending on who she’s talking to and in what capacity - friend, customer, good friend. And I absolutely love the social maturity that this shows about this darling, loving, happy-hugging woman.

And, finally, Ed. Oh, Edward.

If Al is the sunshine brother, then Edward is the supernova brother. I read a fic the other day (whose title I forgot. Sorry to the author) that compared Al’s love to the soft springtime sun and Ed’s love to the scorching summer sun. And I partially agree. Because this boy… I haven’t seen a character - of any gender - love as fiercely and passionately and boldly and unashamedly as this boy in a long time. And I adore him for it. Ed is acts of service love, with a bit of physical touch thrown in for those he really, really cares about. See the head-pat-is-Ed’s-love-language post that sparked this essay for proof how Ed ruffles the hair/touches the head of those he cares about. The way he grabbed Winry and touched their temples together just before she was going to be “kidnapped by Scar” slays me, because it screams so very loud how much Ed cares about that woman. Whether it was in any way romantic by that stage or not doesn’t matter to me - he loved her. He loved her completely.

I’ve already said that Ed and Winry share the 'too much emotion, must let it out loudly’ trait, and I don’t think I need to expand on that one for Edward. Ed feels SO MUCH. He honestly is allowed (thank you, Arakawa, thank you) to feel so many emotions in this series, and all of them are Big. It’s why his guilt complex is the size of a country; I don’t think Ed can feel anything in small doses. He’s all in, all the time. And while this means he doesn’t love as easily as Al, or as kindly or gently, once you pass whatever mental line he’s drawn and become one of those he cares about… Boy, he’ll throw down for you. All of himself, at the drop of a hat. He BURNS with that love. And that love can burn him back; he takes every failure onto himself and holds it there, tighter than he possibly should.

It’s no wonder Ed wanted to get his mom back just a tiny bit more desperately than Al did. It’s no wonder Ed had to hold on to hatred for Hohenheim leaving. It’s no wonder Nina and Maes haunt him, or that he can’t stop blaming himself for Winry’s tears. The people Ed loves are his everything, and he’s learned so much about cost/exchange in his life that he’s internalised that in order to get the deep love he wants/feels so badly, he has to pay a cost for it. And he’s so willing to do so.

And people notice. As caustic and arrogant and loud as he is, spend enough time with Ed - or a small amount of time in a significant circumstance, as was the case with Heinkel and Darius - and you’ll see down to that supernova heart he has. And be attracted towards it; moths to a flame. Ed doesn’t usually know how to express his love verbally very well, but he makes up for it by finding subtle hints and cues to do it. The most obvious example is that money he owes Roy, and the expression on his face when he makes the deal on when he’s giving that owed money back.

I wanted to fit this in somewhere but I don’t know where, so it will just get its own mention: the way he reacts to Hohenheim’s offer of sacrifice… Also, that line in the manga when Roy says Ed won’t sacrifice himself because he knows what it feels like to be alone and won’t do that to Al… And, obviously, the 'take my everything, just give me back my little brother’ bits…

Yeah. I just have incoherent feelings about how deeply emotional Ed is as a character, and how that shows very obvious flaws but also makes him so, so, amazingly loving.

In conclusion: The Resembool Trio are amazing and love so wonderfully and I have feelings about this a lot.

#replies #ranting and pretending it's meta #Fullmetal Alchemist #i was supposed to private answer this #oh well #i will now be dragged to my death and i must just accept this fate

[zetalial]

FMA 03 - Brothers

Hey, here’s another post to round off the themes of family in FMA 2003. Here’s links to the first two: Mothers and fathers.

This one is focused on the relationship between brothers in the series (and, yes, I would have loved to have called this post Brotherhood... but I could not.) We meet quite a few pairs of Brothers throughout the series with our main characters being Edward and Alphonse, who’s relationship gets the most depth and development. I would be here all day trying to explore every facet of their relationship though! I’ll just try and briefly explain how their relationship can be compared to other brotherly relationships.

Let me start by looking at episode 38 - With the River’s Flow. 

Ed and Al are, as ever, travelling alone and getting into conflict. These two are both pretty headstrong (though Ed more so than Al) and this episode perfectly captures their relationship. 

They’re a bit stuck in their journey and they lash out at each other. Al’s irritated at Ed’s stubborness while Ed’s irritated at Al’s inability to express himself. Ed’s determined to go after Scar and the Philosopher’s stone while ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room that is the Homunculi - namely Sloth. Al wants to talk about Sloth but he is having trouble actually confronting Ed about it - he somehow manages to bring up Hohenheim of all people instead. In the end, they succeed only in getting angry at each other and storming off to sulk alone. 

This is far from the only time we see the two arguing, they’re often at odds with each other actually. And no brotherly relationship we see in the story is perfectly smooth either. 

Here’s a pair of Ishvalan Brothers. The younger brother is called Rick and the older brother is called Leo. Like Ed and Al they’re pretty close, possibly due to being orphans who have had a rough life so far and they have to really rely on each other. At one point, Rick has a PTSD flashback and Leo snaps him out of it, in a way that implies he’s used to it. In episode 24, the two of them are definitely in conflict over longstanding issues about their mother. Leo is angry that Rick cares so much about her as he has stubbornly convinced himself that she never really cared about them. Rick still has faith though.  

Despite their differences in opinion though, Rick and Leo’s bond is still very strong. When Rick gets kidnapped, his brother immediately goes with Scar and Al to help rescue him. He is keeping quiet about a painful memory so that Rick doesn’t have to learn the truth and ironically that’s a huge part of why they’re in conflict. This invites you to contrast it with Ed and Al’s own fight in this episode. Where Al has convinced himself that Ed doesn’t really love him because he’s just a fake and meanwhile Ed has been keeping quiet all this time about his guilt over whether Al blames him for his condition - for the human transmutation. It’s only when they have faith and confide in their worries that both their conflicts are able to be resolved.  

Speaking of Ishvalan Brothers, there’s another pair of them in this series who also struggled to relate to each other.

They are... an interesting pair. Scar’s older brother is dead when the series starts but Scar certainly thinks about him a lot. The two had trouble understanding each other with Scar’s brother being something of a heretic who performed alchemy - human transmutation and was... a little odd. Nothing like this crowning scene of him crying big tears in the middle of the day in the middle of a war and in front of his brother, while completely naked - right? 

Still, Scar seems to desperately want to understand his brother. Some of his first words in the series is wondering what his brother wanted him to do with his arm. Upon encountering Ed and Al in episode 14, he immediately says that Ed reminds him of his older brother and ends up emphasising with Al. Another conflict the two had was that apparently he had feelings for his brother’s great love - the woman who became Lust. Central to his conversations with the homunculus is his complex feelings about his brother. Some of Scar’s final words are again reflecting on the Elric brothers and their close relationship to each other. He wishes he’d managed a similar relationship with his brother and quietly says “brother, I love you”. 

Beyond their conflicts though, there’s also a theme of sacrifice. 

Scar’s older brother gave up his right arm (and this cost him his life) to save Scar’s life. That’s a pretty clear parallel to Ed giving up his own right arm to save his brother’s life. And later, Scar will give up his brother’s right arm to save Ed’s brother’s life. Yeah. Al really attracts sacrifice, okay? Al even starts developing survivor’s guilt over this. The series actually ends with Ed giving up his life to save his brother (though it only costs him the arm and leg he just got back. And to be stuck in another world...). And then there’s Al sacrificing himself to save his brother’s life.  

Now, Ed and Al are a pair of alchemist brothers, who learned alchemy from their father’s notes. That is strikingly similar to another pair of brothers.

Russell and Fletcher Tringham steal Ed and Al’s identity in order to pose as credible alchemists so they can research and create a Philosopher’s stone. They are skilled alchemists themselves. Russell is pretty cocky and wants to bring Xenotime to its former glory through the use of alchemy. He’s willing to do some pretty immoral things to achieve this though. 

Fletcher also wants to save Xenotime but he is more conflicted. However, he is scared to speak against his brother and has been reluctantly going along with things. Al emphasises with Fletcher and encourages him to confront his older brother, indirectly revealing some of the guilt Al feels for keeping quiet and going along with the human transmutation. Russell has been ignoring the warning signs, driven to believe he’s good enough to fix things. They’ve wound up on a similar path to the Elrics and the Elrics encourage them to find a new path even as they continue in their search. They see themselves in the Tringhams and warn them against it. 

There’s one other pair of brothers Edward encounters and they remind him of his own brother.

No. 48. A pair of serial killer brothers who were both bonded to a suit of armour. The two of them are very much in sync given how they fight together, trade a bit of banter and are willing to protect each other while Ed is fighting them.

They’re also more literally bonded by past deeds than the other characters on this list. They both have to live as souls bonded to armour and it makes them feel inhuman. Seeing their hate for their current existence motivates Ed into fixing his own brother. It really drives home the horror of Al’s experience, helping to justify the identity crisis Al has while Ed fights the slicer brothers. Of course, Ed is driven to win by recalling his devotion to his brother. It’s ironic.

Ed is distraught when the Younger brother chooses to take his own life, no doubt thinking of Al. The older brother understands his brother completely though and tries to be comforting towards Ed though it doesn’t really help much. Mostly this whole experience really shakes Ed up and an episode later, Lust kills the older slicer brother while threatening to do the same to Al.

...

Okay, there’s one other pair I want to bring up though they’re not actually related.

Roy and Hughes have been close friends for a very long time. Hughes even goes to visit Roy to find he’s very nearly performed human transmutation. He challenges Roy on the issue, encouraging him to live and move on. When Roy tells him he wants to be Fuhrer, Hughes is there to say he’ll support him. We don’t learn too much about their history, but its obvious they are very close and both of them are also close to the Elric brothers.

 A big reason to trust Roy in 03 is because Hughes cares so much about him. Hughes is the only person he reveals his worries and weaknesses to and Hughes really looks out for him. After Hughes is killed, Roy can’t bear to face Hughes’ wife Gracia, feeling some guilt and misery over his death. At Hughes’ grave, the piano version of Bratja/Brothers plays, as Roy mourns his dearest friend’s passing.

So, Episode 38: With the River’s Flow, begins with Ed and Al in a fight. Then the two of them go off to sulk alone for a while.

Ed’s angry and muttering about how irritating Al is but then he unthinkingly asks Al to pass the salt as he’s eating. Edward seems to realise that he’s driven Al away and he suddenly misses him. Immediately, he gets up and goes to look for him. The two of them are extremely codependent and can’t stay separated for long. Al, across town, is walking around, muttering about how stubborn Ed is to himself when someone taps him on the back and he immediately says: “Ed, where were you?” only to realise it isn’t his brother.

Ed has a flashback to when the two of them were kids and shows that they were close then too. They got into fights and they would run off but then Ed would come to his senses and go to look for his brother.

Ed doesn’t offer an apology out loud or anything. He just dismisses their fight, showing he’s forgiven his brother and Al smiles and runs after him. In the present, Ed finds Al at the river (which the episode is named for) and dismisses the fight the same way he did when they were kids. That’s very much Ed and Al’s dynamic. 

During Al’s identity crisis, Al runs away and Ed wants to run after him (ready to throw himself off the roof even, because Ed’s always freaking out over his brother.) But Al takes some time to think through things while Ed and Winry spend that episode looking for Al. Upon meeting up again, they make up. Whatever happens they always forgive and go looking for each other. 

Speaking of Brothers it would remiss of me to neglect to mention one other character.

A homunculus created by Hohenheim in an attempt to bring back his dead son. Envy. He’s essentially Ed and Al’s half-brother. This is only revealed in the final episodes and Envy is a rejection of all the prior brotherly relationships we’ve seen explored throughout the series. Envy hates his family and takes great pleasure in tormenting the Elric brothers. Ed’s so shocked by the reveal that it gives Envy the upperhand, and he takes the opportunity to stab Edward through the chest. He laughs about it in victory. 

Envy is a disaster but you can also see how he came to be the way he is. He’s never been loved by anyone, not his father who rejected and abandoned him and not Dante who uses and manipulates him to serve her needs. Envy does have reasonably decent relations with the other homunculi though - they seem to have bonded a little over shared circumstances. Envy gets on well with Lust and Sloth and at first seemed like a bit of an older brother to Wrath almost. He’s too mean and impatient to have a proper relationship though.

At the gate, Edward warns Envy not to cross through but Envy doesn’t listen and marches away, smiling. Edward’s face is covered in tears, both for Al who he’s losing and perhaps for Envy who could have been a better person were he not so bitter and full of hate. 

-

Envy is an exception to all these different characters throughout the show who have strong familial bonds that they depend on. These bonds are often the only thing they can rely on when they’re hit with life’s tragedies as all these characters have very angsty backstories. No bond is more explored more than Ed and Al’s relationship, so this overview has mostly revolved around them. 

Fullmetal Alchemist is the story about two brothers trying to regain what they lost and their relationship is central to the story. Through other characters we can see different aspects of it. The Tringhams, walking a dangerously similar path to them. Scar, who wishes his relationship with his brother could have been like Ed and Al’s. Roy, who is trying to do right and learn to live with the loss of his best friend. Rick and Leo, who are struggling together with each other and other Ishvalan refugees. And Envy, a chilling example of their antithesis. 

Ed and Al’s relationship is very much my favourite part of the series.

It’s why the ending is so tragic.

....

#fma #fma 2003 #edward elric #Alphonse Elric #gosh these two are the best #scar being compared with Al is so interesting too #the slicer brothers are just painful #not to mention hughes and roy #all these posts and I've not yet spoken about winry #i think i should do a post on her soon #there's not really any sisters in fma #With the rivers flow is actually really short #most of the episode is about sheska and winry #i love it though #scars brother is crazy #hes amazing #envy is tragic when viewed from this perspective #ed's teary face #but seriously there's so much more i could talk about on their relationship #i only briefly talked about the identity crisis #there's also everything with greed #and wrath #and sloth #ed willing to kill for his brother #al willing to kill for his brother #in cos he sacrifices wrath for ed #and in main series he wanted to rip eds limbs off of wrath #the bit with the cat is adorable too #ed being overprotective is everywhere #this post still turned out so long

[karinakamichi]

Revised Thoughts on the Subplot Between Roy and Winry in FMA 2003

In Episode 36 of FMA 2003, upon Winry finding out her parents were killed by Roy, Riza pretty much tells Winry that Roy was following orders, and that sometimes soilders have to do that, no matter how ridiculous the orders may be, so Winry understands that Roy was ordered to kill them. She questions why Riza is even a solider if she doesn’t like them very much.

Riza answers that it’s because she has somebody to protect, and I’m pretty sure that Winry knows that she’s referring to Roy, so she asks:

And Riza responds:

Winry has a really conflicted look on her face. She’s made to realize there has to be a reason Riza is willing to protect Roy. (And I think there’s more to this than meets the eye. She also knows that Roy has helped Ed and Al through some of their worst times. I think that Winry is realizing that while she’s not condoning Roy, her outright hatred of Roy just doesn’t feel right.

And later on, she sees the pictures with Hughes

upon finding out that Hughes is dead.

 And then Gracia tells Winry of the bond Hughes had with Roy. Hughes is somebody Winry has talked to in times that she was dealing with hardship. Hughes was most certainly somebody she cared deeply for, and somebody who introduced her to Gracia and Elicia and helped give her a family she could look to for support. Surely there must be a reason Hughes wanted to help Roy get to the top.

This is where Winry first learns of Roy’s goal to become fuhrer. 

While sure, she’s also sad that Hughes died, I highly doubt that that is all she’s thinking about at this moment. She’s spent years hating the person who killed her parents, and this person, who has helped Ed and Al; whom she has always respected in some way, turns out to be just the very person that killed her parents. But upon realizing that Hughes was friends with this person, she doesn’t know what to feel anymore.

This is further backed up by how the camera actually goes to the picture with Roy and Hughes afterward. (though some could interpret this as her blaming Roy for Hughes death too. I’m not quite sure)

And leaves off there.

In the next episode we see Roy go to Gracia’s house, she offers tea, but upon seeing Winry(who doesn’t really look happy at all) up in the window,

Winry and Roy make eye contact when Winry leans out the window, And the look she gives him is accusing(albeit pained and still conflicted). I saw it as "you took my parents from me, and now you took my surrogate father, don’t even think about stepping in this house". Winry at this point, still needs some time to sort through her feelings. He decides to leave, because seeing Winry is a source of guilt for him. He’s not afraid to admit what he did, but he can’t bring himself to face Winry, or talk to her. And then upon getting back in the car, he says something to that exact effect.

Later, Winry tells Hohenheim of her feelings, which showed that she’s not over it. 

But here she acknowledges that she knows the person who killed her parents isn’t bad (not that they are a good person, but just that they aren’t some heartless psychopath. She never actually claims that she respects him for killing her parents. (that would be impossible to do that or even forgive him, which is something that Winry never does. However she does learn to live with what he had done.)  

And then later in the same episode, Winry does, again, express some hostility towards Roy over her parents, after finding out that the brothers are being targeted by the military(which she also tries to argue against) and says: 

 Roy doesn’t respond, but later, when Roy is fighting with Edward and Alphonse, 

it’s Winry who stops Mustang, by shouting it first. Her life has already been destroyed enough by the military. She doesn’t want to see it anymore. She’s tired of it, after her parents, after Hughes, she doesn’t want to see the same thing with Ed and Al, but she knows that she just a civilian will be gunned down or shot if she protests too much if she were to try to attack Roy, so she does all she can do. Plead for him to just stop.

And then Roy finally brings himself to confront her, albeit not facing only her, but Ed and Al too, on what he had done.

Here Roy is confronting her,

not asking for her sympathy,

But being honest about what he did, after he goes on to explain the kind of people they were.

(Also in the sub, he doesn’t outright say that he tried to kill himself or consider it.) “Ever since, I swore that even if I was under direct orders, I would not follow anything that was unreasonable. That I would put myself in a position where I didn’t have to follow them.”

Roy telling how Winry’s parents death is what he is using as a motivator to become fuhrer has made her realize that her parents death might not be in vain. It’s giving her hope that something might change. This isn’t to say she’s forgiving him, no, but she’s going to hold him to his word, to believe that he will do something to change things. (I can’t be sure about this, but it may have been indirectly Bradley who passed the order to kill the Rockbells, though I know Basque Gran had a huge hand in it. So if that’s the case, then Roy did get revenge for her parents in a sense.)  But there’s something else many of you probably aren’t aware of. There’s is a scene with Winry and Roy from the script for Conqueror of Shamballa. When Roy considers quitting the military, considers giving up everything he’s worked for, Winry is the one who motivates him to stay. She refuses to let her parents’ death be in vain and absolutely refuses to let Hughes’ effort go to waste as well:

Winry: To stand at the top of the military, and to change the nation, to make sure another war doesn’t break out. Wasn’t that your dream? 

Roy:  For that dream, there were many casualties. Hughes was one. ….Edward Elric was another. I have no right to even talk about dreams.

Winry: Ed… isn’t dead. Mustang looks up in surprise. Winry: Al… has always believed that, and even now he’s looking for a way to see him. Mustang: …. That… must be hard on you.

(She doesn’t take sympathy from him, considering what he’s done. Instead,)

Winry glares sharply at Mustang. Winry: It is hard, but even so we’re moving forward one step at a time. What else can we do besides that? We’re still alive.

Right there, it was like she was telling him, “It’s hard for all of us. We’ve all experienced tragedy and problems in our lives, but we have to move forward, no matter how hard it may be. You made a promise to me, to Hughes, and to all of your men that you would help this country and strive to make it better. So get your butt back out there, and don’t let my parents’ deaths be for nothing.”

That promise about reaching a higher position is something that, I think, is keeping Winry going.

Roy seems to get the message.

Mustang gives a short laugh and walks off. Winry continues to glare at his back.

This shows that, again, while Winry is not forgiving him or over the death of her parents, she is, however, moving forward and doing all she can do, but most certainly wasn’t about to just sit by while the person who killed them in the first place just runs off to avoid facing anything.She wasn’t about to just let him run away from his goals or promise. 

I hate that this script was left out of the movie, because it would have been fantastic, and shows exactly why Roy came back to help everybody. This is an incredibly fascinating subplot that I think isn’t really given enough credit. Sure, it’s really subtle, but it doesn’t mean her feelings were any less there. The way she came to terms with it all on her own and put the pieces together, was incredibly respectable of her. Also, kudos to 03 for having Winry research into the death of Hughes, and letting us see her in the moments after finding out her parents were dead.

Edit(March 7th, 2018): 

Something else I noticed: 

In episode 44, after Ed and Al find out about Hughes’ death, and after Sheska says "I thought the Colonel didn't care what happened to Brig. Gen. Hughes. But maybe...") Winry, who has known about it for quite some time and is moving on at her own pace, talks about the same thing Gracia told her: "Become important, the most important in the land. That was his promise to him, after all." before Alphonse adds "In order to do that, he sought for ways to get promoted, rather than dwell on personal feelings, like revenge." It really shows how much maturity she has underwent and was where she first seemed to be starting to move on from it all if I’m not mistaken.

#fma 2003 #fma #winry rockbell #roy mustang

[fullmetalirin]

Fullmetal Alchemist: Episode 45

Fullmetal Alchemist Episode 45: "A Rotted Heart"

As Hohenheim battles the leader of the homunculi, who is revealed to be Dante, their common history is revealed.

Really, Wikipedia? That’s all you’ve got?

Dante decides to try seducing him instead, saying she wants to try out this young body. It is a little misogynist for the woman to do that, but it's a common trope for body-hoppers to be fixated on appearance and eternal youth.

Dante also says she's had many husbands. My wonky translation doesn't make it clear if she just means the many Hohenheims or if she was actually taking other lovers.

Dante says they first met 400 years ago.

They used accused witches and plague sufferers for their Stone ingredients.

The reaction drained Hohenheim as well, forcing her to use the Stone to bind his soul to another man. This could be an explanation for why Dante doesn't want to make the Stone herself: the transmutation tends to kill the alchemist as well.

Lust realizes that this was the real reason Dante made them search for a Stone, and is shocked. Dante says it became necessary to find a new Stone after Hohenheim left her.

...And after all that, we cut to Winry and Sheska arguing over cooking.

And more comedy as they freak out over the phone.

Shou calls himself "Shaw-chan" over the phone. So once again we have a villain pretending to be a woman. I was willing to write it off as "well, that's just a good disguise" with Barry, but twice is a vaguely transphobic pattern.

Ed lies about digging up Trisha, and in return Al lies about Tucker. Trust each other, brothers! :(

Cut to Mustang being interrogated. He successfully convinces the high command that the Elrics fled north. He also casts doubts on Juliet Douglas, which makes Bradley glare at him. Outside, we see that he's been sweating.

There's a gag about Havoc crushing on the nurse.

Mustang figures out that Amestris is the homunculi's grist mill: By driving neighboring countries to desperation through war and oppression, they push people to make a Philosopher's Stone. I find this a much better reveal than "they founded the country just to transmute it". You don't need to establish a specific culture or government conspiracy to do that; countries kind of exist on their own. But creating a country that transmutes other countries, that is something you need to put effort into. It's also simultaneously more reasonable than drawing a transmutation circle around an entire country, and putting more moral imperative on the heroes: by participating in this culture, they're aiding the villains.

Ed uses alchemy to dye his hair black and encase Al inside a statue.

Ed says he can't take revenge for Hughes because that would make Scar's death meaningless. ???

And finally we cut back to Hohenheim and Dante. He explains that their souls are deteriorating, and can no longer sustain their bodies. In the dub, he says they "leave some strength behind" with every transfer. That's interesting… it's somewhat similar to the reveal in Brotherhood about souls rejecting incompatible hosts. Dante insists she can just keep transferring.

Hohenheim says he left Dante a bit of Philosopher's Stone that she used up in the transfer to Lyra.

Hohenheim loses it when he sees Sloth, and flashbacks to his life with Trisha. He left because he saw his body was starting to rot. The spot we see is his shoulder. He's so stunned he lets Sloth entrap him.

Dante starts talking about the Gate. Yessss. She calls it the source of power for alchemy, and wonders what lies on the other side. She says that the Gate lies inside everyone, but a newborn has a stronger connection to it because their soul is still young. She demonstrates with Rose's baby, drawing a transmutation circle on it and using it to open the Gate. It takes Hohenheim. His last words are that he knows Ed and Al will be alright, because they're Trisha's children.

Wrath PTSDs over the Gate's appearance and goes to Sloth for comfort.

Dante frees Lust, and tells her to retrieve the Stone.

Dante wants Rose to fit into her dress size, implying she plans to use her for the next transfer.

We cut to Ed on the train. The search party repeatedly makes jabs about his height, but Ed contains himself. The search party gets suspicious of the statue, but Ed steals Al away.

Ed wore platform boots to make himself taller. Hah, that's clever! He throws his cloak away, though, which is less clever.

Al offers to use alchemy to cover their escape, but Ed tells him not to because he's scared of what might happen if Al tries alchemy.

Back in Central, Mustang and Armstrong conclude that Bradley is onto them, as he's sending them to the front lines. Armstrong wonders why they aren't being attacked now, and Mustang says it would be too suspicious if they killed him so quickly after Hughes. Ah, so that's addressing that. Good move!

Ed meets with Izumi and asks for a part of her baby's corpse. She understands he plans to fight the homunculi.

Meanwhile, Al sneaks off to meet with Tucker. This is what you get for being so secretive, Ed! Tucker's going to teach him how to use the Philosopher's Stone. And then we end!

Conclusion

Well, that's it for Hohenheim! (Mostly.) This is a much better and more tasteful use of him than Brotherhood's The Adventures of the Spotlight-Stealing Dad: he tries to confront the villain as soon as he can, and fails. We get one good fight scene out of him, previewing the villain's capabilities and establishing how strong both of them are, before he is defeated in an emotionally meaningful way. This makes perfect sense as a role for him: he's the mentor character who paves the way for the heroes to outgrow him, because unlike some shows OG actually cares about giving the protagonist that dignity. And the specific method of his demise even gives us more clues towards the ultimate mystery!

I've also heard some people claim that his relationship to the villain here is dumber than in Brotherhood. Sorry, CAN'T RELATE. In OG, he's not just some poor innocent victim who never did anything wrong. He was actively complicit in the villain's schemes from the beginning. His sins are very much real. Yet despite that, I think I feel more sympathy for him, because his actions are more understandable. I still don't understand why he left in Brotherhood (something something protecting them from Father?), but here he's going to give a reason I think makes a lot of sense. He's a complicated figure: you can't just write him off, and in a way that's more painful than if he's all bad, isn't it? He's a pretty good depiction of a deadbeat dad: like his sons, we don't know whether to blame him or forgive him.

Also, is it just me, but does he look older and more tired than he does in Brotherhood?

As I hinted at in the Brotherhood liveblog, Dante is infinitely more engaging than Father to me. I'll talk about this more as we continue, but a crucial part of OG for me is its humanity. The homunculi want to become human, but ultimately we learn that the true villain is a mere human herself. Her motivation is not some tired shonen cliché about godpower that makes us lose all sense of scale, but the very human desire for eternal life, and the very human evil she's willing to commit for it. I can understand Dante. I can understand the homunculi. In them we can see all our own evils, foibles, and desires. And that's just so much more interesting as a narrative than fighting some unknowable god-monster who only wants to become more of a god-monster. (This is, incidentally, the main reason I chose her as my avatar: I think she represents a lot of the things that make OG unique from Brotherhood.)

Lastly, something to think on: We know the Philosopher's Stone requires an inordinate number of sacrifices. The Philosopher's Stone also grants eternal life. We have been told that alchemy operates under equivalent exchange; but if this were truly equivalent, shouldn't one life equal one life?

#fullmetal alchemist #fma #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma 2003 #liveblog

[anthropwashere]

@proserpine-in-phases tagged me in a thing about writing, so naturally I’m going to do this instead of write!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

A lot of my deadfics end up stalling out over research roadblocks. I’ll flub my way through one scene with the intent to come back after I’ve done my Google-fu, and then another, and another, aaaaand that’s now too much work. 

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

A JTHM fic I wrote in high school that ended up deadfic because I ran off to BMT. It was well-received at the time but looking at it now? It’s just so ow, the edge. I’ve low-key considered tearing it down and rewriting it, but it’s been ten years and I can’t even recall where I was going with it. 

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

90% chronological with a lot of snippets for later scenes piled haphazardly at the end of every Gdoc. of all the things that might have been was the big exception. There’s 28k posted and another 50k trapped behind a heap of writer’s block. :C

4) favorite character you’ve written?

Gee, I wonder!

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing?

Winry Rockbell. Not my usual character type to write by far, but she was just as surprisingly fun to write.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now?

A ton of older fic on AO3 has a lot of weird formatting and grammatical errors. I think it’d be easy to get hung up over changes I’d want to make to various giftfics I’ve written over the years as well.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I can count on one hand the number of real life people who know I write and have fingers left over. I hate talking about my writing face-to-face. 

8) favorite genre to write?

Mmm, suspense/horror? Whatever you call ‘presenting a problem to a character that gets insurmountably worse, and also it would be justified if the character just huddled screaming under a blanket instead of confronting it.’

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Read other fics that handle similar topics/ideas. Look through the literal GBs of refs I’ve got saved. Get out of the house and do something even a little bit out of my norm. Get lost on Wikipedia.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

Music always, rarely near people.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Man, I’ve been writing and posting fics for 15 years now. I have to hope every aspect has improved since I was friggin’ 12 years old writing garbo Mary Sues.

12) your weaknesses as an author?

I can’t concentrate on anything long enough to finish it. More fic ideas than I’ll ever have the energy to commit too. Run-on sentences. I don’t write women almost at all. COMMAS. 

13) your strengths as an author?

I feeeeel like I do a good job of getting the reader into the character’s headspace? I adore limited narrative so when I write a fic I try to commit to that character’s style and personality. I also think I do horror/suspense decently.

15) why did you start writing?

11 year old Lorelei found ffn and went, “Oh shit, this is a thing? Sign me up.”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

...I’m not sure what this means? 

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

It’s okay to write positive endings, edgelord. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes more is good too, but damn girl, tread carefully. 

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

These seems like a dangerous rabbit hole to fall down, so I’ll just link the most recent fic whose style and impact left me speechless the first time I read it (and envious, and determined, and more than happy to read it three more times).

Divine Right of Kings by Oedipus Tex

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Badly! Which is why I’ve never successfully finished a longfic! But I do try and make outlines or at least a tidy splash of notes at the bottom of the Gdoc. One fic I’m working on right now requires spreadsheets.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Little spurts. NaNo’s been excellent in the past at making me do more than a couple hundred words on a good day. Alas, the last Camp NaNo I signed up for I dipped out of because of my migraines, and I didn’t even bother signing up for July.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

For the most part I consider it all passable, as far back as AO3 goes at least. Anything earlier than that I pretend doesn’t exist. 

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Intimacy, be it porn or fluff. Anything technical I can’t gloss over with some hastily gathered Wikipedian knowledge. Comedy.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I don’t think so? Not much of my personal experience has been applicable to what I’ve written. A bit of geography, maybe?

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I’d never claim to be an expert on anything, but I do try and do my research for fic. Learning new things is my favorite part of writing.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

You may have a snippet from my four biggest FMA wips (all of which are over 15k words and nowhere near done, send help).

- We Are Sisyphus (03 fic where alternate Ed lives.)

Other Ed and Alfons are unpacking groceries, picked up on their way back to the tiny flat above not-Gracia’s flower shop that seems all the smaller with a fourth person inside. Gratia’s come up as well, bearing fresh vases of flowers too damaged to sell but still smell just as sweet. It helps to mask Hohenheim’s reek, something he can’t really help with how advanced his decay’s gotten in their time apart. 

“Surprised you even recognized him,” Ed says under his breath, under pretense of showing him some of the notes he’d brought back. He gives Hohenheim a long, quelling glare out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, considering you left when Al was still practically a toddler.”

“There were more recent pictures at Pinako’s house,” Hohenheim replies, apparently uninterested in taking the hint to back off. “But it’s the way you look at Herr Heiderich that made me realize just who he reminded me so sorely of.”

“Oh yeah? And how’s that?”

“Like you’re grieving.”

- your head will lie in dust (Father wins, makes the five sacrifices immortal. AKA, the Hohenheim fic with the group chat that can’t stop, won’t stop.)

“There was a cut on your cheek,” Hohenheim says.

Edward brings shaking fingers to his face. He digs his nails in as if he’ll tear his skin open just to spite Hohenheim on principle. Then he stops. Shuts his eyes. Lets Mrs. Curtis slide from his lap. “I,” he says. “You’re wrong. You have to be.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. He has said this so often now, to so many people over so many years, that the words have lost all meaning. He tongues at the space where regret should be and finds only an empty hole. “Do you hear them?”

Edward flinches in slow-motion, an exercise in arranging the muscles of his face into a tense knot to display his anger, his fear, his grief. Little words for emotions greater than any person should have to bear. Edward flinches and struggles to breathe. He presses his hands over his ears and tilts rigidly to the floor.

- our hands were first to forgive (The Mustang remains blind and gets automail AU nobody asked for.)

It’s unsettling, how easy clapping alchemy has turned out to be.

He’d expected it to be difficult, to be something he’d have to learn through trial and error. He doesn’t know why he thought that. Edward’s never shown any hesitation in the use of it—though when has Edward shown hesitation in anything? Bad example. Not that there are a lot of examples to choose from, and of those he’s only been able to see Alphonse transmute without a circle. That’s a somewhat recent development, isn’t it? Before the boys went up to Briggs. He never thought to ask what had happened to allow Alphonse to abandon circles. It hadn’t occurred to him to think that anything needed to have happened to allow it at all. Knowing the source of clapping alchemy, he doubts it was anything pleasant. One more thing to ask after, once he can see again.

This ability, this… gift? He hesitates to call it that. Unwanted, unasked for, received all the same. Fine. This gift wasn’t learned. It feels grafted into him, weird and rough at its edges, like the scars on his torso his shirts still catch on months after burning Lust to ash. Unnaturally a part of him, but a part of him still. For all the knowledge that was poured into his mind in the Gate, he doesn’t feel like he learned anything.

He feels burned.

- Pour Out Like Light (9 years post-series, Ed finds out Trisha’s illness is hereditary. This absolute bastard of a wip is currently stalled out at over 46k words and nowhere near done.)

He peels a potato, sets it down. A broken, twisted hand reaches over his shoulder to pick it up.

He sets down the vegetable peeler. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you tell Granny?”

“Tell Granny what?”

“You knew it wasn’t the epidemic, didn’t you?” He cups the potato in both hands, in the hand he’s always had and the hand he’d traded away and Al had given back. “If you knew, why didn’t you warn her I’d get sick too? Why didn’t you warn me?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead there’s the heavy, loose-limbed thud of a body collapsing to the floor. It has a wet sound to it, a splattering sound. Her death rattle sucks the sunlight out of the kitchen, strangled and thick with fluid. There is almost, almost the sound of his name.

This post is huge now, wow. Um. Never sure who’s cool with being tagged in these kinds of posts. @ladyyatexel @leda-x @haikujitsu I don’t really talk writing much w/ any of you but you’re all fantastic and it’d be cool to hear some of the thought process behind the fics? No obligation, of course.

#writing #my writing #ty for tagging i love doing this stuff #i never think about the process of writing so much as just daydream all the stuff i want to write oops

[todokori-kun]

I APOLOGIZE, QUEEN LUNA. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS-

(tbh the reason I don’t play them is because I don’t really play any kind of game XD I’ve played a few free things on the internet but other than that, not much)

OMG thanks for the link! I might try it out soon :D (And wow, Rumpel. Just, wow.)

WAIT, IS THAT LADY A DATEABLE CHARACTER

Urie/Saiko is so freaking adorable :3 and it’s the worst thing ever that it does have some canon evidence but Ishida keeps teasing us like: *gives some nice, cute Urie/Saiko material*

Fandom: AWWW is it gonna be canon? Are they actually gonna be happy for a while???

Ishida: *gives Mutsurie scene with Urie clearly pining over Mutsuki while Mutsuki’s just talking about Kaneki*

Fandom: …of course.

TYSM <333 I’ll get it to you as soon as I can :D

HxH is definitely a lot of fun! I’d like to recommend Hisoka’s character song (‘Kyousou requiem’) to you because W O W

I got to the part where Father’s ‘creating’ humans. That was freaky. Tbh though my favorite parts of this volume might have been Pride’s defeat and Kimblee’s farewell…that was perfect. I actually sorta like Kimblee now. Of course, I’d never want to meet him irl and he’s still a terrible person, but at least he never betrays his own beliefs.

(I know that Roy will get his eyesight back next volume so that’s good, but Greed’s…gonna die, isn’t he? Uuugh)

I have come to conquer you puny humans with the power of feels. Fear me.

Wait, does that mean you relate to Al or that you think I’m like Al? Sorry, got a bit confused there ^^;;

I’m Hohenheim minus his awesome moments. The bad social skills, the awkwardness, the way he honestly TRIES to be a nice, normal person even if it hardly ever works out…the more I see of him the more I feel like I’ve never related this much to a fictional character (except maybe Kaneki).

You really do remind me of Riza and Winry. The strength, the resolve, the wit and caring=100% Queen Luna.

Ed is frankly a little creeped out that the Colonel even thought that HE, Edward Elric, barely a teenager, could or would steal his girlfriend.

(I headcanon that Ed and Queen Luna are actually BFFs and team up to prank Roy.

Roy always feels so betrayed because whenever he’s doing something totally, not at all stupid, his girlfriend always sides with Fullmetal. “Luna, what did I do. Did I forget to do the dishes again. Was it the extremely cheesy and badly written explicit romance book I bought you on Valentines day. That was a joke, please forgive me”

Also he is extremely salty when he realizes you chose Water Alchemy as your specialty. He had enough of the constant rain jokes from Edward and Riza’s comments about him being useless on rainy days, and now this. The world is too cruel.

(But no matter how grumpy and passive-aggressive he gets when you beat him, of course he’s the proudest when you make good use of your skills. Like when you destroy an enemy in combat- especially if the enemy was underestimating you “That’s MY girlfriend, and she is amazing”))

Yeah, Air Alchemy could actually be one of the most dangerous types if you knew how to use it…Medicinal Alchemy/Alkahestry is still my thing though ^^

(‘peaceful’ do you know how I look when I play the piano and nobody’s around. Dude. That’s when I go rage mode and start playing the loudest, wildest songs ever like He’s a Pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean LOL)

That’s still adorable though omg ;-; the sad thing though is that it would be easy for him to not realize that I have anxiety and assume that I just didn’t like him, because like I said, I’d probably be ok with Mei and Yoki would be easy enough for me to talk to as well (people like Yoki either make me laugh or frustrate me and in the end I’d probably end up snapping at him). Then Queen Luna would come along and I’d suddenly become super talkative.

And when he walked into the room I’d either automatically shut up or give Queen Luna a look like “please take me out of here I don’t want to embarrass myself”.

(Would Queen Luna help me, though?)

Mei’s view of Ed is the ultimate Expectation vs. Reality.

Yep, I really want to know OC’s real name ;-; (I think I’d probably slip up and keep calling him Ciel for a while tho lol). And yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens the next chapter…all this chapter really gave me was hints of insecurity from OC?

IT’S THE STAR SPANGLED MAN WITH A PLAN

Looking forward to your reaction :) (probably a lot of tears)

OMG that sounds so cool! Like, natural, 'ginger’ red or bright red? Either way I bet you’re gonna look amazing, Queen Luna <3

(P.S: You know I mentioned a piano recital? It’s not happening. There was an incident with the teachers at the place where I was learning piano so I don’t go there anymore.

Basically, my mom was already sort of frustrated, because they also teach violin there and my litle sister used to learn violin- the teacher told us we’d have to come way earlier for lessons because she was busy with other lessons too, so we did, but she was like literally never on time? We came early but my little sister had to have piano lessons first because the violin teacher didn’t show up until later. So there was that.

And then there was the thing where they just didn’t let us decide the lesson times at all? Like, always “we’re too busy at that time, that’s too early, too many children at that time…” and they were kinda rude about it too (also once I went there at a later time and there actually weren’t that many kids? Wth)

Then they sent my mom a message. You know how usually you have to study with music theory books too when you learn how to use an instrument? My little sister’s only five (turning six this August) and she was often tired out from soccer lessons by the time she went to piano, so my mom asked the teachers if she could just not do music theory when she was too tired. they agreed.

But the message was basically 'she keeps saying she doesn’t want to do music theory and when we let her rest she keeps wandering around and bothering other people/interrupting other people’s lessons’. Like, ok, if she’d been doing stuff like that since the beginning we could understand that, but I had piano lessons at around the same time as her and she literally just sat and read books when her lessons are over and she’s not doing music theory? Also, until that message all the teachers just kept telling us what a wonderful, intelligent student she was and there was literally no mention of her bothering anyone so it was like??? what is this???

And when my mom called the teacher and asked her about the message she was like “I don’t see how that’s rude, please stop being so pushy/bossy, also I was always on time for the violin lessons what are you talking about?” Just. Wow.

When we went to pick up our music books after mom said we weren’t going to take lessons there anymore, one of the teachers came out and kept gushing about how 'Evans and her sister were SUCH amazing students, we’ll be so sad to see them go’ and she hugged me? tbh it felt really awkward and I was screaming internally through the whole thing because WOW I hate being touched by people I’m not close with lol)

*ahem* before anything: If I ever hear you say another word about your art being bad, I swear I’ll throw myself out of the window. Because it’s actually adorable?? I cry?? Touka’s hair truly looks fluffy and I LOVE the way you drew her lips. So, please, have faith in yourself, your art is absolutely gorgeous! 

Well, Otome games aren’t for everyone, tbh. I have a friend who gets easily embarrassed and she honestly can’t play them because… well, gets embarrassed at them. You should’ve seen her face when I first showed her the games, especially when the flirting began XD

I have finished the whole game. (No, you can’t date her T_T) All the endings, good and bad. 10 of them. My heart is in pieces. I wanna cry.  OKAY SMOL BRIEFING ON THE REMAINING CHARACTERS!

This is Fritz! He’s MC’s personal knight and a professional cinnamon roll. His route honestly made me so emotional (;﹏;) Not as emotional as the last one, though. He’s my 3rd favourite of the 5! His bad end was the worst of them all, though. I actually started crying. It was 1am when I did it. I wonder what my mom would’ve said if she’d seen me, at 1am, crying over a fictional character.

And last but (definitely) not least, my fave <3

Waltz- he has the Neverland curse, which means he remains as a boy until it’s broken.

This is after he breaks it. Damn. Other than the fact that his story is a trope I really love, he’s also a generally nice person, with a personality better than most of the dateable character. Also, his route is considered to be the ‘True’ route, the one you’re supposed to play last, because it has most spoilers.  I cry.

Okok, enough with ‘Luna reviews Otome Games’

And then you realise they meant it in the ‘conceal yourself’ way, not HIdeyoshi.Fuck.

Well, the Urie/Saiko was cute? BUT THAT’S IT?? Where’s the dramatic reveal? The confession =3= ((Luna is forgetting that this isn’t a romance manga))

Ishida is giving us mixed signals. 

Yeah, Kimblee’s farewell does make you wanna respect him. At least he didn’t try to be someone else. Pride was cute, tho. He was a demon who’d kill without a second thought, but he was a cute demon.

Yep, Roy does see again. …. Aha. I cry. But at least he dies heroically? 

I’m gonna get a stronger flask. That way you’ll never be able to escape muhahahahahhahaha

You’re like Al! Absolutely adorable!

Yet, badass at the same time!

Well, at least you’re not as insane as Kaneki? You definitely have more mental stability than him.

Honestly, if I was at the age where it’s socially acceptable to date Mustang, then I’m definitely not at the age when it’s socially acceptable to date Ed, and vice-versa. It’s ridiculous how he feels threatened by a kid XD On the other hand, there is a Xingese prince, now emperor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Honestly, we’d prank him so much XD I’m pretty sure it’d mostly involve water. And rainy days.  Maybe his umbrella would conveniently disappear during those days. Or his hair would accidentally turn pink. Whoops.  Who knows, maybe I partly chose Water Alchemy to spite him XD

I think Medicinal Alchemy would be very, very appreciated in Amestris, especially considering there is none of it there. You’d be able to make mad money hahah But you’d also help a lot of people, so that’s admirable as well ^^

… Let’s pretend you were inspired to play a song that was peaceful for once and you’re feeling the peace. So you surprise him some other night by playing something he definitely didn’t expect

That’s why I’m there to help you! To show him that you just need a bit of time to warm up to people and maybe whisper a few hints to how to get you to warm up into his ear! So he realises you’re only a bit intimidated, and tries to lessen that effect.  I’d also ask Mei to help you. Probably offering something related to Al in return XD

Yeah, he’s definitely insecure. I mean, he didn’t say a single thing back and he calls himself a spare. That’s depressing. I just want him to be happy. After all the suffering he went through, he deserves it.

Is... is it cap?

I’m scared. But then again, I’m always scared when you recommend me something.

I think it’s supposed to be flame red? But since I have naturally darker hair, it’s possible that it’ll be more ginger-ish, because the dye won’t be so visible. Who knows, we’ll see ^^

Whaa?? That all seems really, really uncomfortable, especially the hugging. I mean, why. They really seem two-faced. But, maybe it’s for the best. At least now you don’t have to worry about freezing up during the recital? Will you continue playing the piano, though? It’d be a shame if you let the skills go to waste. You can always practice with anime music/songs you like if Bach and Mozart get boring :P

#evans #submission