#the shows worked best when the season was stuff connecting together to reach a conclusion about the characters and their beliefs

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

I'm watching Beast Wars again for no reason and so you all have to hear me talk about it.

If I was personally given Rights I would first use them to erase Cheetors weird crush on Blackarachnia because it literally adds nothing to the plot or the characters. Instead I'd take full advantage of my personal headcanon and make Cheetor desperately want a big sister because I am always a slut for Found Family. Like, that scene with Una ?"Aw, she wants to be you!" Like c'mon viewing him reaching out to Blackarachnia because he desperately wants some semblance of a relationship is a lot more wholesome when it isn't romantically coded. Cheetor is Lonely, so horribly lonely, and so young seeming in comparison to the rest of the cast. He hasn't lost that love for the stars or spiraled into cynicism just yet, and I would much rather explore the ways he tries to reach out to his bitter, jaded teammates. And maybe he's left wanting, maybe he gets tired of being lonely, and maybe he fucks up trying to be like them because "he tried to prove himself." And maybe that scene where Optimus, Silverbolt, and Rattrap reach out to him has a little more weight because it isn’t just Cheetor trying to be an adult, but a Cheetor that tried to be them and post Feral Cheetor has real fucking consequences and isn't just a cool upgrade.

I want that episode where Rattrap finds out they spat on Dinobot’s memory by making him into a "dishonorable" clone and goes ballistic. I want him to find the memories Dinobot stowed away and be conflicted. Is it Dinobot without the spark? Could he live with only a shade? Would Dinobot even want that? I want him to try and fail and be utterly distraught over the whole damn thing. I want him to be angry every time he sees Dinobot 2. I want Rhinox to try and fail to comfort him. I want Cheetor to sit with him, neither speaking but both knowing they're in this fucked up mess together now. CONSEQUENCES. WHERE ARE THEY. GIVE THEM TO ME.

I also just really want Blackarachnia to have closer bonds with the team??? Idk, I'm vibin well enough with her and Silverbolt but tbh I'd really just like her to have an episode where she's hanging out with someone else and Isn’t A Complete Rude Person. I think that's something I actually really vibed with in Beast Machines (although my memory there is still pretty fuzzy, I'll probably have to rewatch that to say for sure) Blackarachnia could actually work with the team in a friendly and occasionally sweet way. She was capable of a blunt and angry sort of kindness. Should that happen right away? Nah of course not, she needs to get comfy with her shiny new Dumbfuck Teammates. But there’s no real Solid Connections there other than Silverbolt, which is purely romantic. (Once again I emphasize Cheetor and Found Family)

Rhinox just needs more in general. If I had to guess the reason he was made a villain in beast machines was because he is only Meh as a Developed character after Blackarachnia shows up and takes over tech wise, not to mention rattrap is also pretty damn techy when he wants to be.(it was also probably to increase tension since his whole deal is being diplomatic but that's a separate thing) Sort of an issue when you make them scientists but don't have them specialize in anything and, more importantly, have a weakness in anything. If your character is simply the backup scientist when the other one is out of commission u gotta problem. Rhinox is stagnant personality wise, I can’t honestly say anything about him changes in the whole series. He has functionally gained nothing from this perilous journey, no real trauma, no bonds he didn't already have with the team, not even an upgrade in form. Isn’t rattrap supposed to be his best friend???? SHOW ME MORE THEN. Seriously if this show had let me have Rights I’m not saying I wouldn’t have loved if we had actually Really Dug In to a character arc or something about Rattrap and the concept of Honor vs Loyalty but that’s exactly what I’m saying lets talk about that. Season One Rattrap they played with this a little (After the whole early on “I would not send someone to do something I would not do myself” and “double agent rattrap” WHICH NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE IF THAT HAPPENED ANY LATER THAN IT DID SINCE RATTRAP IS SO ANTIPRED) and the whole Dinobot thing really wedged it in (”But at least you know where he stands”) AND THEN FROM MY SHODDY MEMORIES OF BEAST MACHINES ITS PLAYED WITH EVEN MORE WHEN HE FUCKING GOES TO MEGATRON BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS BEING A LITTLE BITCH TO HIM 

Where was I going with this? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh yeah LISTEN Rattrap and his morals are Very Fascinating and I really wished there was more about that. Like, he gives no shits about Doing What’s Right or Being A Good Person, but he rewards friendship and loyalty and not getting him killed by miles. And despite his Hatefest Dinobot he was actually really... shocked? Offended??? about Dinobot handing over the disc because you’re an asshole but you’re also our asshole what fuckery is this did all our arguments mean nothing to you. And then attempting to join Megatron in BM because he might be Evil and it might be Bad Moral Conduct but fuck morals his teammates were being shitty friends. Is that petty of him? Maybe, but if the maximals had been evil but still genuinely kind and caring towards Rattrap I don’t believe he would ever leave for a second, not for all the Morals or Its The Right Thing To Do in the world. And that’s why darkfics that still use Found Family are the best! The End.

All the characters would actually be the size of their animals because goddamit I want a tiny Rattrap that has to be carried around by the others while he screeches indignantly. Or at the very least make him just a little smaller. Just a bit. And maybe they all have a big Sleep Pile. I like physical affection and cuddling and things no I don't care if they're robots no I don’t take criticism. Dinobot would have feathers fight me.

Optimus has died, been tortured, and painfully grew to like 3 times his size why doesn’t he have ptsd someone give him a hug.

Could we have waited for Airrazor and Tigatron to get kidnapped???? We should have gotten more for them. Let me see them more often. LISTEN THEY’RE VERY CUTE I LOVE THEM SHUT UP. 

WHICH LMAO BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO CHEETOR BECAUSE HE CONSIDERED AIRRAZOR AND TIGATRON HIS BROTHER AND SISTER AND HE THINKS THEYRE GONE FOREVER AND THEN ITS NEVER REALLY BROUGHT UP AGAIN LIKE CHEETOR AND FOUND FAMILY REALLY SHOULD BE EXPLORED HERE

Silverbolt is fun, but suffers from the same problem as Blackarachnia where all you really remember about them Relationship wise is the one they have with each other. Who does Silverbolt like best among the maximals, who does he like the least? And if I'm erasing that weird Cheetor crush thing then their interactions probably have a lot less tension so... what else do they have.

Depth Charge is an unrepentant asshole and I love him. He is so hostile but it doesn’t stop him from begrudgingly helping out on occasion. He also gave Optimus some backstory??? Like not as much as my greedy Character Loving hands would have wanted but GIVE ME.

Other Stuff:

Nothing will ever be as funny as Optimus being like “Evacuate the base you’re all gonna die” and Rhinox grabbing his fucking plant

Blackarachnia Craves Power 

Cheetor suffer from Bad Bondage multiple times throughout the series, but specifically during the web I remember Tarantulas leaning over him and thinking “wow this is kind of... date gone wrong vibes??? What the fuck”

Rattrap and Dinobot: *Spot each other from any distance* Miracle Hatemance has entered the chat

Why is Megatron wearing roller skates. Who did this. Why.

“Spider/Bird dog is hetero nonsense” - everyone who has to bear witness to them ever, including me the viewer

Tarantulas is completely done with any attempts to seduce him. Ever.

Airrazor tries so hard to be cool and hip oh my god she is a complete dork i love her

“FOR THE ROYALTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”

please be nice to Waspinator he’s trying his best

Rhinox: exists

Me: hello yes sir I love u wise mentor sir

Holy shit Dinobot’s death scene is a gut punch. Rattrap honestly is what makes this scene perfect. I have never seen him so respectful or emotional is a way that wasn’t meant for comedic relief.

That scene, man

Tigatron’s speech about bringing beast mode and robot mode together is like foreshadowing to beast machines. Or it isn’t. Idk. Would have been really nice if they, yknow,

bothered to bring up literally anything from the previous series to beast machines

 (yes its been awhile since I’ve seen Beast Machines, but I do remember that being my primary complaint.)

This series is so cheesy but Thundercats is still cheesier so its fine

Rattrap was canonically a miner at some point apparently.

He’s also super prejudiced and honestly that’s interesting. HONESTLY SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE DISCUSSED IN BEAST MACHINES IS THE SUPER MEGA DIVIDE IN PREDS AND MAXIMALS BUT I GUESS WE WEREN’T GETTING THAT OH WELL

The ‘Everyone is blind’ episode was always one of my favorites and it never gets old

Upon rewatching the series I have concluded Cheetor is Babey. Which is weird because I didn’t think much of him from what I remember. Shift in perspective I suppose. They really made Rhinox farting the thing that saves the day, huh. What even was season one.

BITCH THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO TRANSPORT MEGATRON NO WONDER HE FUCKING CONQUERED CYBERTRON Y’ALL DESERVED THIS HONESTLY

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in conclusion:

Rattrap is my new religion apparently

#Beast Wars #listen listen listen #i have a lot of feelings #honestly I doubt this will be my actual conclusion im sure ill post this and instantly remembered something else to talk about #Look I have seen very little of the transformers honestly #I watched gen1 as a kid and beast wars and beast machine #and thats it #if you dont count a couple comics I have stashed in a drawer somewhere #i do not count them #I tried to read this over again #realized i dont know how formatting works #and have decided to just post it anyway so have fun with that

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about every episode of The Owl House Season 1 (Part 2/2)

Part two, sukers! Let’s do this. Click here to read part one.

“Senses and Insensitivity”: The B-plot in this episode is outstanding. It shows the audience more about Eda and Lilith's love for each other as sisters, which actually gets a lot more heartbreaking, given what happens in "Agony of a Witch." I loved every minute of it...which is why it makes it weird that it's just the B-plot. Because while the main story is ok, I could do without it. It makes King look like a jerk, and in no way does it feel like he means it when he apologizes. Plus, the fact that Luz and King get saved by Dana's self-insert and don't even do anything to stop Piniet just doesn't sit right with me. Although, I do find the jokes about fandom mentality to be pretty funny. If it wasn't for Eda's storyline with Lilith, "Senses and Insensitivity" might just be a C+ of an episode. As is, I'll be kind enough to give it a B-.

“Adventures in the Elements'': And here it is. The episode that everyone saw months beforehand because some jackhole decided to leak it to the internet. And what an episode it is. We get some great mentor/motherly moments from Eda. Some perfect course correction from Ed and Em going from unlikable antagonists to decent supporting characters. Having Luz learn a second spell, and having the growth between her and Amity's relationship. And a semi-enjoyable B-plot with King and an army of stuffed animals (which is just as funny as it sounds). My problem? Pacing. While King's subplot about an army of stuffed animals is fun, I feel like more time should have been dedicated to Luz getting trained by Eda. That way, it’ll feel natural to see as Luz reaches her breaking point due to going nowhere with Eda's training, which would feel justified rather than making Luz come across as kind of whiney in the episode (at least to me, she does). Another issue I have is with how Luz and Amity's relationship is presented in this episode. It genuinely feels like we skipped an episode because Amity went from "thinking about it" to getting distracted by waving at her bestie. Now keep in mind, I'm the first one to say "who cares" when people bring up the poor pacing in Luz and Amity's relationship due to Disney having little to nothing in terms of LGBTQ+ representation in children's animation. But the thing is, their relationship feels more properly paced in future episodes, but it's not the case here. So it's gonna have to be another B- in that regard.

(And seriously, don't ever leak episodes from a show, even if it's your favorite. Because not only does it ruin the experience for fans who want to support it the right way, but it also hurts the show itself. Because if people stop watching episodes, guess what? They'll stop making them. And nobody wants that.)

“The First Day”: Is it odd that I like an episode that's clearly not great? Because there's so much about "The First Day" that I enjoy. I like the entirety of the detention track and the fact that they're not typical troublemakers. I like the message about how it's unfair to force children to learn something they're not interested in because it's for a "better education." And I would frickin' take a bullet for Puddles. Unfortunately, this episode has some of the worst pacing in the series. Let's look at what this episode has to accomplish: It has to force Luz into a track and explain why it's a poor fit for her. It has to have Luz be interested in another track and get in trouble due to being too curious. It has to establish a connection between Luz and the detention track so they can have a heartbreaking third-act breakup. It has to set up, then introduce, a monster that will try to destroy Hexide. And finally, defeating the creature has to tie into why it's a good idea for students to mix tracks. That is a lot to do in under twenty-two minutes, and it makes the episode feels like it’s on fast foward at times. I'd say the solution would be to cut King's substitute teacher subplot (which only has value with one good joke), but that would only give "The First Day" a couple of extra seconds. So, really, the only way to "fix" the episode is to probably give it a few minutes by making it a forty-five-minute special. I'm sure fans wouldn't mind that. They love Luz and her journey enough that I'm sure they would be more than ok to see a more lengthy experience through the halls of Hexide. But that's not what we got, so it's gonna have to be a D+ episode. I don't hate it, but I don't blame others who do.

“Really Small Problems”: "Ugh, it's the cliche--" WE'VE! BEEN! OVER THIS! Does this episode have a cliche storyline? Yes. Is this pretty much the first filler episode of the series? Of course. But is it still entertaining? Without a doubt. There are great jokes, adorable moments with Luz and King's friendship, and little moments that I love. Like the fact that it was an accident that King shrunk Willow and Gus, and how Luz treated the situation calmly and rationally instead of blowing her stack. "Really Small Problems" may not be high up on my favorites list, but it's at least a fun B episode that was well worth a single viewing.

“Understanding Willow”: You wanna know what impresses me the most about The Owl House? The fact that Dana and her writers knew what the fans exactly want before they even started asking for it. The fans wanted to know what happened between Willow and Amity, and so the staff showed us. Fans wanted to see what Mr. and Mrs. Blight are really like, and the staff showed us. Fans wanted a Luz and Amity centric adventure, and the staff gave it to us. And because they've been working on the first season long before fan input started coming out, that means that we were going to get what we want before even having to ask. Most shows would save content in "Understanding Willow" for a second and even third season, so it amazes me that the writers waste no time in giving us the good stuff. Add that with a great "I'm sorry" speech from Amity, cute moments between her and Luz, Luz being an understanding friend, and Eda's bell dance, and you've got yourself an A+ of an episode.

As I said, I've already reviewed the last four episodes. But if you're interested in what I have to say, here are the condensed versions of my thoughts. Click the episode titles if you want to see the full review: 

“Enchanted Grom Fright”: Speaking of giving the fans what they want, the fans have been obsessed over Lumity damn near since the beginning, myself included. So now you're gonna give us a prom episode filled with flirting in the hallway, a dope dance sequence, and the reveal that Amity has a crush on Luz? All while showing more of Luz's relationship with her mother and the fear Luz has of telling Camila the truth?! Then consider this an A+ episode that might just be a crucial moment in Disney's history!

“Wing it Like Witches”: This is a fantastic episode. And no, it's not because of Amity's gay panic attacks towards Luz...ok, it's partially because of that. But it's also because this episode shows how far characters come developmental wise. Willow became more confident, and Amity is actually part of the group now. It all comes together when the most developed characters team up against one who'll most likely get little development. It's a solid A of an episode that always leaves me smiling when I watch it.

“Agony of a Witch”: Yup. The single image of Luz crying is still enough to tear me up inside. And man, what an episode. The tension, the drama, the REVEAL! Lilith admitting she cursed Eda still shocks me because it could not have been farther from what I expected. Especially given the sisterly bond that we've seen in past episodes. So yeah, this is another A+ for sure.

“Young Blood, Old Souls”: I've heard some people say that the season finale is underwhelming, and I think I know why? You see, this has what I like to call Infinity War to Endgame syndrome. Part one does a great job of setting up the tension and stakes, that part two seems to pale in comparison in an attempt to relieve some of that tension. Because since part one ended, people have been hyping themselves up for part two to be such an epic conclusion that it couldn't have completely lived up to the ridiculously high standards. It's the same reason why I never felt disappointed with either Avengers: Endgame or "Young Blood, Old Souls." I had high expectations, sure, but I also reminded myself that there is a chance that either might be unenjoyable. And guess what? I consider Avengers: Endgame an A+ movie and "Young Blood, Old Souls" an A+ episode. Is either story perfect? No, but here's the thing. I could list all the nitpicks I have, or I could keep my big mouth shut and just enjoy it for the parts that are perfect.

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And that's it! That's what I think about every single episode of The Owl House so far. As for my thoughts on the show itself, I think it's incredible. It has a nice balance of comedy and drama with specific episodes, has an intriguing story, and includes some of the best representation that Disney has had in decades. But that doesn't mean the show is perfect. Pacing can be a bit off at times, some B-plots are just unnecessary to pad out the time, and not every joke can land. But to be fair, this is season one. Dana Terrace and her crew have more than enough time to polish out the rough parts for what is hoped to be a better season two. And I still can’t to see what they have in store for us.

#the owl house #the owl house review #what i thought about

[fmdsooaharchive]

CHO SOOAH — HEADCANON #4 (30 DAYS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - IDOL EDITION)

SUMMARY: We ask ourselves why would you write more than 5.000 words in a single day for something that was supposed to go on for 30 days and we reach the conclusion that we needed the points and why not, am I right? While writing this I realized that Sooah doesn’t have many friends her age but also, she isn’t friends anyone in Gold Star besides her members so please befriend my kid. WC: 5.042 MENTIONS: way too many people to be honest. TW: Really bad writing because I did it when I was clearly sleepy.

+ Day One: Introduce your muse. Are they solo or in a group? What is their position in the group? Consider this day the day for writing the basics.

Cho Sooah is part of Gold Star Media’s five-member group, Fuse. She was added to the team in 2015, a few months after their official debut in 2014 as their rapper and vocal as well as becoming the new maknae of the team. 

+ Day Two: Talk about your muse’s childhood. Where did they grow up? Did they have any dream jobs besides being an idol? When did they realize they wanted to be an idol?

Sooah was born and raised in Seoul, South Korea. She had a pretty ideal childhood, she thinks. She was very lucky to have loving and supportive parents and very great older brothers who always looked out for her in their different ways. She was always connected to her family and that’s her grounding circle to this day. She’s very thankful to them for everything they did for her. While growing up, Sooah was always praised for her beauty and sweetness but she was usually taken advantage of and made fun of because of that. She had very little friends growing up but she didn’t mind that much because she had a pretty solid group that always supported her. Growing up, she wanted to become a stewardess and those were the plans until she was scouted by Gold Star. She never really realized she wanted to become an idol and even after she was signed under the company, she was still not sure about it. She became surer of it after she debuted and had a taste of how performing felt like.

+ Day Three: Take us back to when your muse was either recruited or auditioned to become an idol. How did that go? How did they feel getting up on stage for recruiters? If your muse could give their younger selves advice before the audition, what would they say?

Sooah is one of those people who go with their friends to an audition and end up being cast as well. She was accompanying Mia in her audition. She wanted to give her moral support and make sure everything would go as planned when one of the recruiters asked her to do something for them. Sooah was never really skillful. She couldn't sing or dance or act. But she’s pretty and that’s the main reason why they decided to sign with her. She was very nervous when she performed in front of them. She didn’t have anything prepared but a school song that they were supposed to perform in a festival soon and a guitar that she could barely play. 

Sooah would tell herself not to be so harsh because maybe they did hire her because of her looks but that doesn’t mean she was a complete talentless failure. She was always so gentle to others; she should learn to be gentler to herself too.

+ Day Four: Remember the trainee days? What are some of your muse’s memories of being a trainee? How long were they a trainee? Were they worried about potentially not making a debut? Talk about any challenges they might have encountered.

Sooah’s memories of trainee days are almost blurred together in a mess of constant practice and doubting herself. Those weren’t very happy times, she felt insecure and out of place because these more talented people were training with her and she was not sure of her abilities or if she even deserved to be there with these people. 

Sooah was a trainee for one year and four months, from November of 2013 to March of 2015 when was added to Fuse. Sooah always felt like she would never make it to a group and would eventually be kicked out by the company or be reassigned to a different department like modeling or acting. So, she had a constant fear of not making it to debut. 

+ Day Five: Recall your muse’s debut. What was the song they debuted with? How did it feel performing for the first time on stage as an idol? Feel free to bring up their thoughts about the concept, choreography, lyrics, music video, or other components. 

Sooah debuted with Fuse’s first EP and it was called ‘Ice Cream Cake’ from the album of the same name. She remembers quite vividly feeling very excited but also extremely terrified. She never performed in front of an audience before and the Fuse fans had made it pretty clear even before she made her first appearance that they weren’t fond of Gold Star’s strategy of adding a useless member to a group that was already perfect as four. But she was finally making it to debut and there was no hater in her life that would stop her from feeling ecstatic at this opportunity. 

Sooah liked ‘Ice Cream Cake’. Both the single and the album were nice. She thinks the MV was particularly aesthetically pleasing, her unnies looked stunning as always. She wasn’t certain about the ‘everyone will go blonde’ but the different tones made each of them stand out in different ways. At the time, she had never practiced choreography as much as she did for ‘Ice Cream Cake’. She went over and over this routine thousand times just to make sure she wouldn’t mess up. She was only sixteen at the time, so everything kind of overwhelmed her. 

+ Day Six: What concept does your muse think they can pull off best? Cutesy? Manly? Sexy? What concept do they have a hard time pulling off? What kind of concept would they want to do at some point?

Sooah can put off cutesy, happier concepts better than the more badass, girl crush ones and that has a lot to do with her looks more than with what she’s comfortable doing. She doesn’t mind their more happy and upbeat concepts just as she doesn’t mind when she has to do more serious stuff. ‘Peek-a-Boo’ remains as one of her favorite MV’s and songs to this day just as much as ‘Red Flavor’ and she thinks that’s nice because that’s the whole concept they were going for with Fuse. With how many weird concepts they’ve done in the past, Sooah thinks they can pull off pretty much anything at this point but she knows it’s very unlikely that Gold Star would invest in a concept similar to Lucid’s Nightmare trilogy. She would love to do something like that though.  

+ Day Seven: Which era is your muse’s favorite in their career? Why is it their favorite (think concept, promotions, choreography, etc.)? If your muse has recently debuted, talk about what they would want to do for their next comeback.

‘Russian Roulette’ is an era that she thinks many people end up forgetting and it’s not fair because it was pretty fun to promote. The storyline for the MV is not the lightest, of course, since they are trying to get the others to get badly injured but the scenarios were so colorful and full of life (ironic). The choreography was tricky, but all choreographies were tricky for Sooah. It was fun to learn though, and she had a lot of fun while learning it because it didn’t give her much of a headache and she quickly learned the movements. It was a very cute kind of concept that she remembers fondly. 

+ Day Eight: Talk about your muse’s strengths and weaknesses as an idol. Feel free to discuss their thoughts regarding these components. Think of qualities such as vocals, dancing, visuals, acting skills, and variety show skills, for example.

Sooah’s strengths as an idol are very reliant on her visuals and variety show skills, so everything that isn’t performative. Her looks were always something people praised her for even before auditioning to become a trainee. She was always very pretty and always had this soft look on her that works very well because it makes people feel at ease. It’s not the type of beauty that pushes people away but draws them in. 

She used to be very shy in variety shows but Sooah got much better at that as years went by. To be fair, she got a lot better over time, but her weaknesses are still singing, dancing, and rapping which is ironic since she’s an idol. The main problem there is her confidence, though. She doesn’t believe she’s good or capable and that uncertainty remains clear in the way she performs.

+ Day Nine: What is your muse’s fashion style? Talk about what kind of clothes they love to wear. To them, what is the essential thing to have in their closet? What is their favorite outfit?

It depends a lot on the season. During spring, Sooah will use very flowy and long skirts, with pastel colors, and be the princess of spring because that season fits her image incredibly well. During autumn, she’ll rely on more earth tones and long coats. Winter is the season she’ll just dress to not freeze, so everything comfy and warm, she’ll be using and summer, though not her favorite season, is the time in the year when she’ll allow herself to use short shorts and sleeveless shirts, maybe use more flannels and overalls. Sooah has a very consistent and good sense of fashion and she likes going shopping with friends. You’ll always find jean jackets in her wardrobe and she’ll try to fit them into some outfit she has to wear. Her favorite outfits are the more romantic ones though, so spring is the best time for that.

+ Day Ten: Talk about your muse’s three closest friends. How did they meet? How long have they known each other? What do they love most about their friends?

Yuanjun is one of her closest friends and someone she cherishes a lot because despite being a little different personality-wise, they get along well to form the infamous 99-line. She likes his company and appreciates that they could remain, friends, because there weren’t any scandals involving the two of them. Boys and girls can be friends in the end and she’s glad people learned that, in this case.

Mia is one of her long-time friends. She’s the reason why Sooah was scouted by Gold Star because Sooah was only accompanying Mia when she decided to audition. Their relationship was a little messy because Mia was always the talented one but she ended up not debuting while Sooah, who was always pretty useless managed to make her way into Fuse. Sooah always felt guilty but Mia is now making sure that she knows none of that was her fault and they are still in good terms. 

And last but not least, she would mention Minjung because despite not being the same age and being in the same team for work, Sooah still sees her as one of her closest friends and someone she can confide to. She was added to Fuse in 2015 and she was anxious because Minjung used to be their maknae and she was stealing the spot now but Minjung only proved to be very nice and sisterly to her and for that, she’ll be eternally thankful.

+ Day Eleven: Has your muse had any scandals? How have these scandals affected your muse as an idol or as a person? If your muse has not had any scandals, talk about their views on scandals. Is all publicity good publicity?

The only “scandal” of sorts Sooah was involved was when she was added to Fuse and some fans were not happy with Gold Star’s decision to add a pretty face to the team when they were perfect before. After that, Sooah lived pretty much like a saint, with no scandals and nothing that could tarnish Fuse’s or her image. It depends a lot on the scandal. Silly things as dating shouldn’t even be seen as scandals because idols are still humans but bullying scandals should surely be taken more seriously. And is bad to think that all publicity is good publicity because what kind of image they would want to build for the groups and company if they build their reputation around scandals. She’s not very fond of that idea.

+ Day Twelve: If your muse is in a group, what are the fun things about promoting with other members? What do they love about being in a group? What do they love about their members? If your muse is a solo artist, what are their thoughts on promoting alone? What do they love about being solo?

Sooah loves promoting with her members. She is very fond of them all and thinks she’s very lucky. She didn’t expect to be in a group where the members would be so supportive of her and look out for her the way her members do. It’s nice that the waiting rooms are never silent, there’s always someone talking and it’s noisy and because she grew up in a house full of people that is very comforting. She loves her members as a whole but also individually. She loves that Miyeon is like this force of nature that is amazing in pretty much everything but still has time to be supportive of Sooah. She loves that Suji was like a mother to her and took great care of her and made her feel comfortable in the group. She loves that Minjung is someone who likes to pamper her and is like a pretty sister she has now. They all feel like family to Sooah.

+ Day Thirteen: For the muses in a group, what are the challenges of being one of several people in a group? Have there been any troubles that have come along with being in a group environment and times they wish they were alone? For the solo artist muses, have you ever felt lonely promoting alone? Do you ever wish that you were in a group instead?

Sooah never hoped to be alone because she doesn’t think she can perform if she’s alone on the stage. Being in a group means that the public’s attention can deviate from a member to others and that’s only normal and it’s totally fine. There will be times she’ll feel like she did a good job but other members get more attention but Sooah thinks it’s only fair because she’s not exactly someone people will have their eyes set on for any reason in particular. She’s not the best singer, or dancer, or rapper. She knows people will look at her because she has great visuals though.

+ Day Fourteen: If your muse is in a group, how do you think they would have fared had they had a solo career instead? What kind of concept would they have? If your muse is a solo artist, how do you think they would have fared if they were in an idol group? What position of the group do you think they would have? 

Sooah would do very poorly as a solo artist. To be fair, she probably wouldn’t even be sent to be an idol and would be redirected to the modeling or acting department instead. But if they were silly enough to still debut her as a solo artist, they would go with something light and aesthetically pleasing to match with her visuals. The songs wouldn’t go to high places and everything vocal would be minimalistic. Think of Kriesha Chu or even SOLE or Younha and we’ll have Sooah as a solo artist. 

+ Day Fifteen: Who does your muse look up to in the industry? Why do they look up to this person?

Sooah looks up to everyone because she’s a sweetheart but if she had to pick three people she looks up to the most, those would be Lipstick’s Minah because she’s amazing in everything she does. She can sing, she can act, she can dance and she cooks amazing meals to Sooah. The perfect person who remained humble even after the success of her group. She wants to be like Minah when she grows up. She also looks up to Lux a lot and it’s not only because Lux helped her to write a song from scratch and promoted the song with her. She thinks Lux is an amazing artist and songwriter/composer and she wants to learn a lot from the older girl. On a similar note, there’s Joosung from Element. They worked together briefly during the BASE project and she saw him in this new light and thinks he’s a very talented and easy-going person. She aims to be a good producer like him in the future.

+ Day Sixteen: If your muse could do a special stage with another artist or idol group, who would it be and why? What song would they perform?

Sooah would love to work with the members of Lucid. Maybe Sooah and Alice, they are the same age and are already close because of the 99-line Sooah has going on. Since they have similar positions in their respective groups and because Alice is a great dancer, they could have a special stage singing to one of the classics of K-pop. Maybe a BoA song. If given a proper heads-up maybe she can even compose and write a song for them.

+ Day Seventeen: How would your muse fare in a variety show? If your muse could appear on any variety show, which variety would it be and why? If you don’t have a lot of knowledge of variety shows, talk about what kind of variety show they would go on.

It depends a lot on the variety show. If it’s something like DoReMi Market or Knowing Bros, she’ll do fairly well because she feels comfortable, it’s just them there having a talk and telling stories, sometimes playing some games. If it’s a show like Running Man or Law of the Jungle where she’ll have to actively show surviving skills or running and jumping, that makes her more anxious because she’s just not good at that kind of stuff. 

+ Day Eighteen: What entertainment agency is your muse a part of? What do they think of other groups and artists that are in the same agency as them? Which labelmates do they get along with the most, excluding group members?

Sooah is part of Gold Star Media. She thinks people in her agency are dope even if the company itself makes some questionable decisions sometimes. But every single one of their artists, Sooah likes and listens to their songs. From their soloists to the co-ed group they have. Gold Star releases really good songs, she thinks and she’s very musically oriented and the company offers her the kind of support she would need to thrive in that area. She’s not particularly close to anyone in her company, except her members, though.

+ Day Nineteen: Is there anything besides idol activities that your muse would want to do? Would they want to take their hand at hosting a variety show or act in a television show or drama? Would they want to try out modeling or a musical? If they have done things such as these, talk about their thoughts toward these things.

Sooah thrives in the modeling route and that’s the most obvious path for her because of her unapparelled young visuals. That’s something she would want to do especially because it’s very easy for her and it’s also fun but to be honest, she would like to try her hand in variety shows more now that Fuse already has an established image.

+ Day Twenty: If your muse was able to be a part of a supergroup that comprised of current idols, who would they want to be in the same group, and why? What kind of concept would this group have? How do you think the group would do in terms of popularity?

If Sooah was to pick members for a supergroup, she would struggle a lot because many others are better qualified. But she would pick Lipstick’s Hyeju, Lucid’s Hyoyeon and Jeonghwa and WISH’s Sophie, besides herself. All of them are skilled and have the visuals Sooah would want to see in a group, besides being charismatic so she thinks they would do well together? Because they would look very powerful, they would probably invest in a more powerful, girl crush concept, like the ones in Femme Fatale. And since they have big names in the industry, they would also do fairly okay, popularity-wise.

+ Day Twenty-One: How does your muse feel about their fans? How do they feel about sasaeng fans? How would they handle a situation in which they were faced with obsessive fans that followed them or invaded their privacy? If they’ve had problems with sasaeng fans before, how did they feel about it?

She’s appreciative of her fans and she’s extremely glad that they are kind to her and her members too. She’s grateful that they kind of protect her from OT4 stans and that warms her heart a lot. She doesn’t know what she should do with sasaeng fans though. She’s scared of them, more than anything. She’s scared of which boundaries they might break to get her attention and she fears there’ll be a day they’ll end up hurting someone to get to her. She would try to communicate her thoughts and ask them to leave, even though she knows that probably wouldn’t work out. She would just be scared and ask her manager to help her with it.

+ Day Twenty-Two: Talk about your muse’s goals that they have for their group or themselves if they are a solo artist. Where would they want to promote if given the chance? Do they want to do a solo album at one point? This can be any sort of professional goal.

There isn’t much she can think of because she’s good at following the flow and doing as she’s told. Fuse reached a point where things are comfortable and their name is established. She wants the other members to be able to have separate careers and still be successful with the things they want to do so maybe that means they’ll have to be more recognizable not only internationally but also locally. She never visited Central or South America and she would love to visit the countries in these regions sometime in the future to promote.

+ Day Twenty-Three: What are your muse’s thoughts on being an idol and dating? Are they against dating? Have they ever been in a relationship after debuting? If so, talk about the challenges that have come along with dating. If they aren’t dating, would they want to date?

She understands why some people are against it. She doesn’t agree with their thoughts. She thinks that they are young and they are surrounded by beautiful people all the time and at some point, is only natural to feel attraction towards someone. And as healthy, young people, they should be allowed to have normal experiences such as dating. Sooah was never in a relationship before or after debut. She was way too young when she became a trainee and she was way too focused on not messing up and practicing after she debuted. And of course, she would love to date someone if she feels it’s the right person.

+ Day Twenty-Four: Who is your muse’s ideal type? Why is this person their ideal type? 

She has been saying since debut that she finds Lee Dong Wook very attractive and nominated him as her idol type since 2015. She never talked to Lee Dong Wook personally so she can’t talk about anything but his good looks. The sharp jaw and the kind of eyes are what draws her to this kind of aesthetic and she’ll be the first to admit that people like him don’t look like they smile a lot but there’s a certain satisfaction in getting a smile from them and the possibility makes her heart flutter. She has to be able to rely on the person and feel comfortable being around them. They also have to know how to properly cook, otherwise, they’ll rely on take-out for a long while.

+ Day Twenty-Five: What does your muse want to be remembered for in the idol world? Do they want to be remembered for their vocal prowess? Their image? Their dancing skills? Their scandals?

Sooah wants to be remembered as someone who improved over the years and became great in the end. She won’t stand out in any meaningful way. She’ll never be the greatest singer or the best dancer or someone remembered because of her little rap lines in Fuse’s songs. She does expect people to have the image of someone who came from the bottom and still managed to become someone great and who learned and improved a lot. Someone who never really stagnated and worked on herself to become a better artist. 

+ Day Twenty-Six: Does your muse ever regret becoming an idol? Do they ever think about what they would be doing instead if they lived a normal life? If they could go back in time, would they do everything all over again? Or would they end up doing something else?

She remembers regretting becoming an idol when she went back home after living with her members in the dorms. She was moving back home so she could spend some more time with her parents and she remembers seeing them after a long while and thinking, “they have aged”. There were wrinkles around her father’s eyes and her mother was slouching a little bit more and she remembers feeling very sad because she barely spent time with them in the last 4 years or so. She never thought she would have a normal life, to begin with. She dreamed of big adventures and in a way or another, this is a big adventure and she tries not to regret things or think how things would have turned out. She doesn’t think she would trade her life now for a “normal” life mainly because she can’t imagine herself not having the people, she has in her life now.

+ Day Twenty-Seven: After working hard on promotions, your muse is given the chance to take a two-week vacation anywhere in the world at any time they want, with nobody bothering them. Where would they go and when? Why would they want to take their vacation there? If they had the opportunity to bring three other people, who would they bring?

She always wanted to visit Machu-Pichu so maybe she would go there and hike her way up the mountains. She remembers seeing a documentary when she was younger and that became her plan with her mom that one day they would go to Peru and see the clouds from up there. She still didn’t have the time to do that with her. She would take her mom and her two older siblings with her. Dad is not very fond of that because he has back problems so he would have two weeks of freedom at home on his own. 

+ Day Twenty-Eight: Talk about your muse’s low point in life. Why was this a low point in their life? What kind of challenges did they face and how did they feel about this? Were they able to overcome it? If it is still ongoing, are they working on overcoming these challenges? 

During the trainee years, Sooah’s self-esteem hit a really low level. She was self-doubting a lot at the time and thinking she wasn’t enough and that she wouldn’t be able to ever get better regarding her skills. She was surrounded by incredibly talented people but there she was, not being remotely good in what she was supposed to do. Sooah thinks she’ll never get completely rid of this kind of thoughts, mainly because she knows she has a long way to go but things now are much better and because she has so many supportive figures in her life, she can rely on them more and not suffer on her own anymore.

+ Day Twenty-Nine: Talk about your muse’s most meaningful moment as an idol. This is what they feel so far is the highest point in their life and where they’ve never been happier. Recall the memory and describe it; what happened and how did they feel? 

Sooah remembers the moment of their first concert with a lot of fondness. They have been practicing for months at the time and Sooah was so nervous because it would be their first time doing a concert only with their fans and she didn’t want to mess things up. The moment they were waiting backstage to be okayed to go up and perform, she had a million thoughts in her head that slowly started dissipating as they sang and danced. She remembers feeling very warm in her heart when they had their first break and as they introduced themselves, she would hear the screams of the fans. When her turn came up and she heard their screams of support, Sooah laughed and her eyes teared a bit even. She was never so happy to perform like she was with the ‘Red Room’.

+ Day Thirty: Think about your muse’s life down the road. Where would they be and what would they be doing? Would they still be in the entertainment industry? Would they settle down and have a family?

When Fuse eventually disbands, Sooah will probably not get involved with music. At least she won’t be releasing songs for herself to sing. She’ll be more than happy to remain active as a lyricist/composer/producer and that’s her priority. Maybe invest more in her career as a model and start putting her visuals to good use, too. But she doesn’t exactly see herself wanting to be the center of attention like it happened in Fuse. She wants to slowly show her process of retirement, pretty much like Hyori wanted to do once in past. She sees herself settling down to have a family. She also sees herself traveling around the world and enjoying life differently too.

#『 .. headcanon. 』 #+10pts.

[ellymackay]

Society of Behavioral Sleep Medicine Reflects on a Year Plagued by Sleeplessness

Society of Behavioral Sleep Medicine Reflects on a Year Plagued by Sleeplessness is courtesy of Elly Mackay's Sleep Blog

Psychologists add perspective to 2020 and share tips for better sleep in 2021.

By Earl C. Crew, PhD, Kelly Baron, PhD, DBSM, Michael V. DeSanctis, PhD, LP, ABPP, DBSM, Christina McCrae, PhD, CBSM, and Skye O. Margolies, PhD, DBSM

Having used the past few months to ponder it in full, the conclusion about 2020 remains the same: the year was a bit of a nightmare for sleep.

Between the COVID-19 pandemic, racial violence, pervasive wildfires, a contentious election season, and an economic collapse, it’s hardly surprising that people with insomnia, nightmares, and other concerns about poor sleep have flooded sleep medicine clinics.

At a time when our immune systems and mental health need as much support as they can get, sleep is like a frontline worker—essential. But how can we possibly sleep well when the future has been so uncertain? Especially since COVID-19 robbed many of their routines, social connection, and coping resources.

Early into the pandemic, we at the Society of Behavioral Sleep Medicine (SBSM) created a task force to help the public better understand how sleep might change in response to the pandemic, and how best to protect sleep even amidst the chaos. We published our top recommendations for keeping sleep on track.

Now that 2020 is behind us, but with the pandemic still raging, we share some additional thoughts about evolving challenges for sleep, as well as provide tips for getting through them.

[RELATED: After 4-year Gap, Behavioral Sleep Medicine Has a New Credential]

Why Sleep Has Suffered

For our ancestors, sleep was a high-risk activity, leaving them vulnerable to predation. When danger—like a saber-toothed tiger—lurked nearby, the fight-or-flight system provided a life-saving switch to override sleep and get to safety.

In 2020, our primary predator has been COVID-19. This invisible menace has kept us recurrently on-edge—constantly in fight-or-flight—making sleep difficult for many.

Understandably, some have turned to medications, alcohol, or other substances to help get to sleep. This often backfires by worsening sleep quality or creating dependence. For many, what may have started as a few nights of stress-induced sleeplessness back in March has morphed into chronic insomnia.

[RELATED: CBT-I Works in Young Drinkers to Reduce Insomnia Symptoms & May Help Lessen Alcohol Use Too]

Some Have Suffered More Than Others

But not everyone has had the same success navigating stress and the threats to sleep in 2020. COVID-19 has disproportionately affected communities of color, with minority Americans more likely to be out of work, hospitalized, or dead die due to COVID-19.

Similar disparities are also found for sleep. Black, Hispanic/Latinx, Native American/Alaska Native, and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander citizens are more likely to get fewer hours of sleep and experience more sleep interruptions compared to non-Hispanic Whites.

The burdens of systemic racism and discrimination, as well as having fewer opportunities to get enough sleep due to competing responsibilities, may explain some of these racial/ethnic disparities in sleep. This gap likely widened in 2020—due to added stress from the pandemic, as well as from the incidents of racial violence, police brutality, and resulting protests that occurred during the summer.

Children and Teens’ Sleep

Another casualty of the pandemic began in March and April, when schools closed and 57+ million kids in the United States started attending school virtually. Almost immediately, Zoom classrooms were flooded with hordes of sleep-deprived zombies.

Kids lost much of their structured activities, social interactions, and time outside under the sun. All of the things that kept their biological rhythms on track became wobbly. The loss of a consistent sleep-wake routine set them up for increased stress and fewer ways to cope. That’s why your child is having more nightmares or why your teen may be even crankier than usual.

What’s more, school closures took a toll on the nation’s parents, now forced to become impromptu educators while juggling everything else. Fall arrived and some schools returned to in-person instruction, only for surges of virus cases in “hotspots” to trigger a sudden return to virtual learning. Parents must now prepare to immediately react to whatever new protocol is needed for tomorrow.

There are no perfect solutions for how to teach our nations’ children during a global pandemic, but any parent is likely to tell you that this pattern is simply unsustainable. How can healthy sleep occur under these conditions?

Here’s How to Cope

Even though things may often feel apocalyptic and chaotic, we are not totally powerless and there are things we can do to protect our sleep health.

Get up at the same time each day.

“Sleep is a core human health behavior,” explains Christina McCrae, PhD, president of the SBSM. “When things seem overwhelming, commit to small behavior changes rather than taking on radical shifts in routine. The best way to start is through consistency.”

Getting up at the same time will help to reset your biological rhythms. The more predictable those are, the more easily your brain can help you to sleep well at night and function well during the day.

Make the bedroom all about sleep and only get in bed when sleepy.

This protects your bedroom for sleep. It also helps your brain to lose that habit of turning “on” as soon as you get into bed, because it will learn that the bed is place for sleep, a sleepy place, not a get-stuff-done place.

Limit screen time before bed.

The stimulation from your TV show or videogame might artificially override your brain’s sleepy cues.

Say “no” to work in the late evening. Unwind before bedtime.

Stretching, journaling, yoga, family time, or meditation can be great for unwinding before bed so the day’s stressors don’t follow you to it.

Increase daylight exposure and get outside early.

Believe it or not, sunlight is sleep’s best friend. More light exposure during the day helps to make your circadian rhythms robust, which helps you sleep better at night.

Put on pants. Go outside. Stay physically and socially active.

Not only will this give you a much-needed mood boost, it will also help to boost your circadian rhythms and give you more restful sleep at night.

This can be easier said than done. And sometimes, even following these recommendations may not be enough to solve your sleep concerns.

“If you are not good with self-management, or you have more severe sleep problems, see a behavioral sleep medicine specialist,” McCrae recommends.

These healthcare providers with specific expertise in sleep can conduct a more thorough assessment of your sleep problems and create a personalized treatment plan to improve your sleep and quality of life.

McCrae also stresses that seeking out professional help is crucial if you’re also experiencing serious mood issues, such as depression or suicidal thoughts. Awareness for when we’ve reached our personal limit is critical and seeking out professional help is a key next-step.

There Is Hope

Just like wearing a mask in public or getting vaccinated, we all benefit when ourselves and those around us are well-rested. Healthy sleep gives rise to safer workers, more effective educators, healthier children, and happier communities.

Promoting healthy sleep starts with the individual. That’s why we at the SBSM want to help you sleep well. Our website provides scientifically sound resources for many types of sleep problems, as well as an international directory of expert sleep therapists who are ready to help.

Together, let’s sleep our way to a healthier and more equitable 2021.

Earl C. Crew, PhD, is part of the behavioral health program, mental health care line at Michael E. DeBakey VA Medical Center, and assistant professor at Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas. Kelly Baron, PhD, DBSM, is an associate professor in the Division of Public Health, Department of Family and Preventive Medicine at the University of Utah, Salt Lake, Utah. She is a clinical psychologist with specialty training in behavioral sleep medicine. In the clinic, she provides cognitive and behavioral treatment for insomnia, plus other sleep disorders including circadian disorders, problems using CPAP treatment in sleep apnea, nightmares, sleepwalking, and coping with disorders of excessive sleepiness such as narcolepsy. Christina McCrae, PhD, CBSM, is a professor in the Department of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at the University of Missouri where she directs the Mizzou Sleep Research Lab. She is a licensed psychologist who is board certified in behavioral sleep medicine through the American Board of Sleep Medicine. McCrae has been continuously funded by NIH since 2003. McCrae is currently serving) on various review panels (i.e., NIH, American Sleep Medicine Foundation). She is an associate editor for two journals, Behavioral Sleep Medicine and Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. Skye Ochsner Margolies, PhD, DBSM, is clinical psychologist/assistant professor at UNC School of Medicine, Department of Anesthesiology in Chapel Hill, NC. Michael deSanctis, PhD, LP, ABPP, DBSM, is a clinical psychologist, in the states of Minnesota and Wisconsin, a published author, owner of Positive Sleep Journeys, PLLC, and has decades of experience teaching, offering community seminars on sleep, winter SAD and body clocks, and providing clinical service in the public and private sectors.

Photo 205063799 © Somwut Kamalastboocha – Dreamstime.com

from Sleep Review https://www.sleepreviewmag.com/sleep-treatments/behavioral-sleep-medicine/sbsm-year-plagued-by-sleeplessness/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2021/02/17/society-of-behavioral-sleep-medicine-reflects-on-a-year-plagued-by-sleeplessness/

[bugaboowritings]

On Mother’s Lap - Adrien Misses his Mom

Adrien talks to his (Maybe-Dead) Mother 

 I swear I’m okay, just freaking out about the last episodessssss. Enjoy this piece inspired by this angst-thread. 

Don’t forget to reblog my and other writers’ and artists’ works. Gonna spread that good stuff as this fandom reaches a crisis. 

People will never remember the day they were first held in their parent’s arms, but they will feel and recognize their mother’s embrace or the throbbing of her heartbeat drumming against their ear when she comforts them. Learning to cherish the warmth of her meals or the cool drives to school in the early, winter mornings. Appreciating the home-diagnosis of illnesses as a fresh hand presses against one’s forehead. Or the shouting that beckons one downstairs to help with groceries or memorizing the script their parents repeat when they get a scolding for rolling their eyes.

All the little niches of home-life and the precious recollections are embedded between the pages in fragile photo albums. Moments in reality that the boy with everything will never have again.

His family isn't together.

His mother is gone.

Period.

In the beginning, Adrien Agreste still needs to step back and process how great his loss is. How this will change the rest of his years and the house he confidently called home once.

Settling for the sun-baked stone left out in the garden of roses for a mom. Nuzzling his face in the crook of his arms before setting his head on her solid lap. His sleeves pulled over his fists. Nervously picking at the seams and yarn. Distressing it as much as his heartstrings were.

“Mother,” He said before his voice quivered ever so slightly.

“Do you think I should forgive him?”

In the western shows that plagued late-night television or movie screens, they often aired high school stories or coming-of-age tales. Living the most normal or diverse lives as they did their homework the night before it was due. Sitting around with friends or plugging themselves to their phone until something interesting happened (which was usually around ten minutes into the flim).

Nevertheless, they all have something to go home to. From the neat trailer parks to the dusty suburbs. From the close-knit ghettos or cluttered apartments. There was always something to come back too. A family waiting to come together.  A stove with something cooking or a fridge waiting to be plundered.

Adrien watched millions of titles in his childhood, eating them up as if they were goodies after Halloween night. Watching them long enough to identify the actors and their love interests, memorizing the plots of some, certain scenes from another or a single line that could define the movie altogether. Sometimes his flat screen tv played the movies on repeat on certain nights or didn’t stop playing till the sun peaked over the horizon the next morning.

Buying more with his allowance and replaying them since they were the only snippet of 'real' life he had in his possession. Exposing him to different lives and points of view as the characters went out to find themselves. All as Adrien found himself in the same spot every Friday night.

Each movie presented a new experience that Adrien would engulf himself in. He was a spy helping lost aliens, a nerd looking for a date to the dance, a lawyer that finally had the advantage after years of being the underdog, a writer trying to make it big or even a free man exploring the everlasting sunset of the open ocean.  He became so involved with their lives and stories that those characters became a part of him, reinforcing certain wishes and hopes in him. Making him realize what he really wanted.

Not another bike or pinball machine or world-wide trip or a silver watch to wear to those elaborate dinner parties he constantly felt anxious and sweaty in or another fountain pen that had his name engraved. No, not that. What he really wanted were simple and cheap joys of life.

However,  if they were really that simple in the end, he wouldn’t have to go to bed starving for them.

Sniffing up his tears when he grew more frustrated with each reject or light ‘maybe’. Burying his face in his pillow before he could calm down. Each year was more difficult than the last since asking for permission felt like presenting a case to an inflexible court. Determining to say guilty without hearing his suit.

In the beginning, refusal was reasoned out with duties and values.

“Adrian, I- Your father is a busy man. He can’t always be with us for dinner.”

“Adrien, son. You have to focus on your studies. I heard from your tutor that your Chinese isn’t as fluid as it once was. How can I let you out there if you’re not taking care of your responsibilities here?”

“Oh, Adrien. I would prefer if you watch the movie here, really. Movie theaters aren’t the cleanest and it’s flu season. The family has connections with the director so we work something out-”  

“Adrien, please. Your mother sick and needs to rest. Go to your room before you wake her up.”

“Adrien, your father is not in the best . . . -mindset. He needs time alone.”

“Adrien. Get ready before the car picks you up for your fencing class.”

Those dismissals just seem plain offensive as time passed. Hushed without another word, being told to finish his meal before it got cold.

 It wasn’t until the disappearance of a beloved blonde that triggered an awful period in the Agreste Mansion. As reporters were flooding Nathalie’s line, his father (if we should even call him that) locked himself in his office under lock and key. Never speaking to his son, unless the business needed him too.

Eating dinner wasn't as enjoyable as it was before. The dull atmosphere made Adrien lose his appetite more times than the chief could count.

Adrien went out to fencing class more often. The only time he was really out of the dark house was spent being sweaty and tired, but it all better than sitting in his room waiting for a miracle to happen.

Fencing as gracefully as it can be- was driven by action. Letting the young teen relieve that anger pinching his shoulders. Making his back too stiff to get a good-night sleep.

Chinese and piano lessons were time-consuming and grew to be a bit irritating when he didn't get the keys or pronunciation right. While the newly added photoshoots felt 'artificial' and strange. Making him feel more disconnected than he already was.

The only thing that seemed to bring him back from that limbo state was his old DVDs in his cabinets and drawers. Rediscovering them after shuffling around his room for a distraction. By 7 pm, he had organized his shelves and surrounded himself with a circle of movie classics and old favorites that hopefully aged as well as the wine in the house’s cellar.  

Slowly, he went down his old system of watching and repeating, watching and ejecting one to put in another DVD. In a way, it helped him mourn. The comedy let him smile for a moment, the plot made him forget everything, and the emotional bits made it easier for him to cry. Comfort him when Nathalie’s schedules and his father’s silent couldn’t.

However, they hurt more at times then relief.

It made it more apparent that he was missing something in his life.

Starving for any air outside of the huge mansion that was shut with security systems, gates, and bodyguards. Not helping the aching in his heart for a friend his age or a day out in the mall or REAL teachers to teach and correct him on his classwork or socks with funky designs that his father wouldn't approve of or a group of friends to sit and talk to while eating the not-so-pleasant cafeteria food in a public school or and the thing he knew he may never get, a nagging mother.

Not one to tell him to clean his room, no one to give him a heart-to-heart talk he's heartbroken, no one to tell him to look at this and that when they're out shopping and no one to push away when they beg to pick at his acne when he’s grown used to it.

Even as the idea mellowed in his head, it still managed to give him a heart attack.

Adrien squeezed his arms tighter. Feeling his eyes get squshed against his forearms, knowing that it would add to the redness on his face.

Instead of his mother’s butter-like tone, he was left with a stone statue that spoke more than the snake surrounded by silks and threads inside.

Adrien came to the terms and conditions of his position. He was the son of the rich, famous, and had everything he required. Yet, this life wasn’t what he wanted. Adrien had to get out of here before he became crazy. All as his father, on the other hand, thought otherwise. Rejecting his son's pled to go to public school all in the harsh way possible.

By grounding him.

“I just don’t agree with this. And I already know what you’re going to say.” Giving a chuckle that sounded more like the rough wheeze or his deflating lungs gripping for air. As if they would preparing to get drowned out by another set of sobs. Lifting his head up while his eyes squinted at the sun. Adjusting to the brightness as his eyelashes fluttered.

“-'Your father shows his love in a distinctive and subtle way.' But mother, this isn’t about love.” Biting his lip as if that sentence made his mouth bitter. Not sure if he wanted to hide his pain or spill it out in the open much like how the morning sun shined over the garden of roses.

“It’s not concern or affection or a sense of protection." Adrien sniffed.

"It’s plain right dissociation.”

“ And . . . That’s not a family.” He hushed, afraid of the conclusion he came to. Delivering it as a whisper, not wanting to break his mother on the reality that played out without her near.

Adrien held himself tightly, rubbing circles on his shoulders. Closing his eyes as he prayed for a sign to tell him what she felt.  Something to show him that she's there. Holding him even if he's the only one there. Whispering in his ear that it's okay, everything will be fine. Time will pass. Things will heal.

Swiftly, the cool breeze around him warmed up. A sunray managed to weave its way around the rosebushes to hit his shiny hair. Lifting the boy's head to glance at his mother's smile down on him. The sunlight caught his mom’s eyes, glimmering the bits of crystal in them. Reminding him of the real thing.

“Thanks, Mom.” Adrien beamed. Biting his lip before he let out another sob. “I knew I could count on you.”

Dropping his head down back to his mother’s lap.

#ml #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #miraculous ladybug #miraculous the tales of ladybug and chat noir #adrien agreste #emilie agreste #fic #my fic #My writing #my writings #light ice angst #inspired by that one post

[dykecadence]

A Dissertation to Prove that Alice Quinn from The Magicians is a Lesbian Experiencing Comp-Het

some of my twitter friends requested i post this on here so @alicequinnlove i hope this is good! (keep in mind this was written before the second half of season 4 so some things are out of date)

1. Her attraction to Quentin as compulsive heterosexuality

Alice only expresses attraction to Q once he has expressed attraction to her

Jumping into a relationship with the first guy to show interest in her despite knowing they don’t necessarily work (and that she is better than him)

Never feels sexual fulfillment in their relationship (until that one ep) but not saying anything about it

Rebounding quickly with another guy after Q cheats as if she is trying to prove something to herself/him

Every time she talks about sexual encounters before Q she says they were all uncomfortable and very impersonal

Look, as someone who struggled with comp-het for a LONG time and has dated guys because of it… Q is exactly the type of soft, nerd boy that is perfect for closeted lesbians to try and date as a means of making themselves seem straight. He’s non-threatening and when you don’t want to confront your sexuality it can be easy to trick yourself into getting crushes or turning friendships into something more.

Not entirely supporting my point because I do think opposite sex friendships are very important but; the fact that Alice was far more upset about her trust being broken and losing one of her best friends than the relationship ending

2. Her inherent unease around other women

Alice is uncomfortable around other women but not because she feels threatened by them. In fact, we don’t really know why she’s so uncomfortable with them at first.

Alice has no close female friends thus the way she views her interactions with women is skewed through Hetero Goggles

She would have no frame of reference for determining if there is a difference in her feelings toward women/patricular women

With Margo in particular, Alice is uneasy which I would chalk up to:

Margo compliments Alice/her body often

Margo being so comfortable with herself

Margo blatantly flirting with her at times

They have tension

I mean…… Margo/Alice Rights!

3. Magic often functions as an allegory for The Gay

Alice has always felt out of place

She fears her own “magic”

Her family didn’t teach her any magic she had to find it on her own

Magical found family narratives are for the gays only

Unaware of her own potential, still hasn’t unlocked it

She holds herself back in her magic, just as she does in every other aspect of life

4. Sex in this show is barely ever just sex

Basically everyone in this show uses sex as a coping mechanism

Especially Alice

Alice sleeps with Q because she’s stressed and worked up in Brakebills South

People had also been telling them to sleep together or speculating the would for months

She may have felt like it was what she was supposed to do

Her immediate distrust of the truth of her feelings once they get back is not something you would expect from someone who is getting what they want

She often says, “I love you” to Q but never says that she is “in love” with him. An important distinction as this show displays many different forms of love.

Alice sleeps with Penny when Q cheats. Why does she do this? To get back at him presumably but I don’t think she’s that petty. I think it was insecurity. Her trying to prove herself to herself.

Alice kisses Q/has sex with Q post-break up only in emotionally intense scenarios where she is overwhelmed by grief, power, or both.

Kissing him at the tree

Having sex with him when she gets back from being a Niffin

Carriage ride to the fight with the Beast

5. Alice has never really had friends

Her experience with comp-het and her inexperience with friendship would very likely lead her to misattribute close feelings of friendship with attraction.

I have personal experience with this so I feel this assumption is justified

Since she knows so few people and Q is the only one she has a close/friendly relationship with she clearly feels the strongest connection to him

She instinctively distrusts everyone and doesn’t let people in easily so it would be hard to know her true feelings

If we could see her in a close female friendship in this show I think she would bond quickly and strongly (as she did with Sheila)

It’s not that she doesn’t want friends, it’s that she has a hard time letting her walls down which ~gay~

It would be invaluable to see her have a close female friendship as we could compare that to her season 1 interactions with Quentin and decipher her behavior

Her few friendly interactions with Margo had a lot of tension before she and Q got together

6. Alice has not expressed attraction to anyone since her last encounter with Q in (I think) late season 2.

This encounter was an instance of sex not just being sex. It was her being overwhelmed after coming back from being a Niffin and seeking comfort/distraction in something familiar i.e. Quentin

Since then she has:

Not expressed in interest in getting back with Q

Not had sex with anyone

Not mentioned an attraction to anyone

Made no insinuation of lingering romantic feelings for anyone she has previously been involved with (with the exception of Timeline23!Alice but as she is not Our Alice she is not relevant)

Her attraction to and intimate interactions with Q have been nothing more than physical since season 1

They have slept together again multiple times but it was always because of some bigger emotional turmoil and not love

She said she didn’t want to get back together with him after the threesome and I think (in terms of a real relationship) she means that

But she used sex as a coping mechanism since Q was familiar/her closest friend and it made her feel like herself

I don’t think either of them have had genuine romantic feelings for each other for a while but U believe Alice’s went away faster (because she never really had them due to comp-het)

7. Gay Coding

A lot of aspects of this show are unambiguously queer-coded

There is no such thing as gay panic in this show so there is no need to be weirded out over gay stuff and if you are you are portrayed as the weird one (ex. Hymen)

Alice’s cold intelligence and manner is pretty lesbian coded

Her style is high femme and I will not be told otherwise

8. This doesn’t fit into a particular spot but… 

When Q mentions the dream that Penny walked in to involving her and Julia kissing, her problem was not with herself kissing another girl or even that it was a kinda gross fantasy for Q but rather that Q was thinking about his former crush alongside her.

She doesn’t dwell on the gay of it all just the fact that Q is subconsciously thinking of his old crush

9. I would argue that Alice’s inability to find sexual pleasure with Q (until that one ep) is a ~problem~ on both of their parts.

Partially due to Quentin having no clue what to do

But I think mostly due to the fact that she doesn’t really feel sexually attracted to him

The one time it is “fulfilling” to them it is because they are trying to get Penny back

Alice is determined to get shit done so I’m sure she is capable of…. Fulfilling her part in getting Penny back even if she didn’t really feel as much as she should

As I’ve said, they never really have sex just because, there’s always an external factor (as far as we the viewer are aware)

10. She had more chemistry with Penny than with Q despite “loving” him

11. Her previous experiences

She was standing up and at a party for all of them according to her

These interactions are:

Impersonal

Likely the result of alcohol

Clearly not fond memories

12. Niffin!Alice and Dark!Willow are Very Similar in quite a few ways, enough said

13. Her feelings for Quentin feel like the “I’ve decided to have a crush now”

As I said, she only expresses interest in him once he has expressed interest in her

Crush comes out of nowhere

She seemed very professional with Q at first

She skips friendship and goes straight for crush

But the crush was really friendship

Her romantic feelings for him are contingent on how emotional she is

14. Alice awkwardly avoiding talking about the Incubus’ penis

She doesn’t wanna say penis lmao

15. New Addition: “But she and Q got back together!”

I felt the need to address this additional point and why it doesn’t effect my theory.

Once Alice left The Library she was a prop for the rest of the season.

Logically they have no reason to get back together as they’ve both been growing far more on their own than they did together.

I think her going back to him only serves to prove she is only with him because she desperately wants to feel loved even if she doesn’t quite understand her own feelings

Alice is reaching out to reconnect with Q in an attempt to gain some of her old self back

She knows she cares for him and that he cares for her and she automatically assumes that romance is the logical answer for those feelings

It’s comp-het babey

Them getting back together was a cheap ploy to add more emotional weight to Q’s death

If anything I feel it supports this theory

In conclusion, Alice Quinn is a lesbian. Send tweet

#this is a mess hopefully it's okay lol #watch me get hate on this even though i haven't actively done anything tm related since like april w egg nation #ill die on the lesbian alice hill #alice quinn #the magicians #tm #the formatting on this is so ugly on mobile I'm so sorry

[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT FT. BRENDON URIE - ME!

[3.53]

Things have changed for "ME!"...

Alex Clifton: A lead single should not make me think, "Oh, is this the Kidz Bop version?" [3]

Abdullah Siddiqui: This isn't the Old Taylor or the New Taylor. It's some entity so devoid of anything remotely substantive it doesn't warrant a human name. And I'm not very familiar with this Brendon Urie, but his delivery of the line "and you can't spell awesome without 'me'" sounds like the sonic embodiment of a Disney XD mid-season replacement choking on its own blue-cotton-candy puerilism. And I know that makes literally no sense but it's honestly the best way I know how to describe it. [2]

Taylor Alatorre: On the one hand, this was designed to subvert as few expectations and step on as few toes as a late 2010s Taylor Swift lead single can. On the other hand, it commits so hard to the bit that it ends up becoming a Lonely Island parody of the kind of post-Glee positivity pop that fueled the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign. Our culture may be more jaundiced since then, but the market for that stuff hasn't gone away, and Swift and Urie deliver the message in a way that feels more true to how people actually consume those songs. Rather than offering the prize of social recognition as a package deal with some nebulous invocation of societal change, they make a beeline for the inner voice of narcissism that resides within the overworked neoliberal subject. They listen to that voice, they give it what it wants, and the result is a communal celebration of self-regard that, in all its candidness and mutual puffery, makes you feel connected to something larger than just another grueling megastar album cycle. Unfortunately, that "something larger" happens to be the same collective unconscious that apparently just wants Panic to be the "High Hopes" band now. [7]

Jessica Doyle: It's catchy, granted, but so insistently, aggressively vapid that I am resisting the obvious conclusion that Taylor Swift actually thinks that this is work to be proud of. It makes more sense as a reconciliation of three opposing forces: she wants to make music; she feels responsible for the multi-hundred-dollar machine she's spent half her life putting in motion; and she dislikes and resents the performer (maybe also the person) she's become. That would explain pairing a catchy song with lyrics such as "can't spell awesome without ME!" and a video whose final shots suggest she is actually made of toxic rainbow sludge. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: A garish mess in exactly the same way "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" was. Yelpy vocals, forced whimsy, obnoxious spoken word, slapdash everything -- well, almost everything. The chorus is the second song in a year to rip off Emeli Sandé's "Next to Me," which really wasn't in need of two ripoffs. The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now, because she's been replaced with the New Boring. Brendon Urie is the best thing about this, though I'd rather listen to three minutes of him singing Vines. [3]

Tobi Tella: Can something be inoffensive enough that it becomes offensive? It's hard to imagine a song this generically pleasant and basic angering people off the heels of some of the Reputation singles, but here we are. It's disappointing to see Taylor put out yet another vapid lead single devoid of any deep themes, but goddamn if this didn't grow on me almost immediately. It's just so much dumb fun, and even though these two people are capable of much more and I'll probably forget about it in a few months I will definitely scream it every time it comes on the radio for now. [6]

Will Adams: The singular badness of Taylor's past three lead singles can all be boiled down to their overblown-ness, whether in song, in video, or in their inevitable absorption into The Discourse. But "ME!" is a special kind of bad, one whose wrongness comes from all directions to create something truly confusing. There's the sonic rehashing of a single from two albums back (also those terrible horns), inert lyrics that offer nothing recognizably Swift, the aesthetic 180 that makes Reputation feel even more pointless and, worst of all, the patronizing kids show affect. It's really hard to figure out what she was trying to do here. Without Max Martin's catchphrases, Shellback's sheen, or even Jack Antonoff's weirdness, we're left with an overblown Train song. Here's hoping, come the album, she keeps her promise that we'll never find another like "ME!". [1]

Jibril Yassin: Taylor Swift loves dispatching red herrings for her forthcoming albums in the form of lead singles. While she couldn't fully commit to the heel turn, Reputation went out of its way to show her songwriting capacities hadn't diminished, but it says a lot that I already want the Right Said Fred-aided Taylor back. "ME!" flows and surges with the pop efficiency she's mastered, but the lyricism resembles a once-sharp camera lens out of focus. Draping herself in the sounds she last used on Reputation, now drenched in major-key sunshine, also feels like a serious misstep when a theatre-kid diva like Brendon Urie decides to show up and completely steal the show. A song like "ME!" calls for high theatrics and powerful vocals and here, Taylor doesn't play to her strengths. [3]

Katie Gill: Taylor Swift was one of the first people to sign on for the movie-musical Cats. I'm not saying this just because that fact brings me joy and happiness every time I remember it, but because you don't agree to be in a show that features tap-dancing beetles, a magic show, and a character called Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat unless you have a healthy appreciation for cheesiness. And this song further proves that Taylor Swift is fully embracing the concept of cheese. Why else would she include lyrics like "hey kids! Spelling is fun!". But three things prevent this song from reaching its full, beautiful, glorious Gouda potential. One: the fact that the chorus seems designed from the ground up to play in a Target commercial. Two: the fact that the lyrics never get past the braggadocio, "I'm so awesome" hubris that tainted a lot of her Reputation-era work. Three: Brendon Urie's existence on the track. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Taylor's past fuck-yous to her former guys worked because she didn't leave room for them to speak in the song's narrative or actually in the music itself. Brendon Urie in "ME!" functions as wish fulfillment on top of wish fulfillment, singing the ideal response from the man to go with Taylor's perfect last words. His presence is extra fluff that the track can do without, but he's just one of many campy toppings that sugarcoats the stinging bitterness at the song's core to the point they wash away any taste when consumed. The cliche series of contrasts in the pre-chorus, the Sesame Street bridge, filler rhymes just to get to the next lyric -- all of this lyrical blandness doesn't help prop Taylor up as the underdog to cheer for in this breakup. [4]

Joshua Copperman: Every part of this song sounds like other songs that were successfully upbeat without being too cutesy. "ME!" isn't one of those. Like former contemporary Katy Perry with her "Swish Swish" video, Swift actively tries to be cringey but the attempts at cringe make her cringey. It's like Patrice Wilson's self-conscious follow-ups after "Friday" if he was given a Dave Meyers video budget. Taylor's own friend-by-her-right-ay Brendon Urie helps a little bit, because he's good at hamming it up, but while Taylor has pulled off hamminess in the past ("Blank Space" is one of her most-loved songs for a reason), this doesn't suit her. Even the lines about fighting in the rain feel like perfunctory good lyrics. The rest of the album will probably be fine, as even 1989 led with "Shake It Off." But even that song's bridge didn't have "spelling is fun." [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: For a second, right around "spelling is fun," I thought this would ascend, phoenix-like, into glorious schlock. But before and after that incredible interlude, "ME!" is not even the exciting kind of trash. It's content to just be mediocre, occasionally winking at the camera in ways that its authors clearly think is endearing but mostly come off as desperate. It's an emphatic shrug of a song, at once saying nothing and doing so loudly. [1]

Scott Mildenhall: Tonally aimless, it's very hard to deduce the spirit in which this is meant. In its most desperate moment -- yes, "spelling is fun!" -- it doesn't so much tip its hat to the audience as frisbee it into their face, but at the same time it's not so ironic as to be mean-spirited. As a whole, it's like a Wiggles mash-up of "Blank Space" and "We Go Together", and it's hard to know how anyone, whether their intentions were wholesome or cynical, would ever reach that by design. Perhaps this is simply just a spectacular misfire. The thematic mismatches, zero-dexterity crowbarring of aphorisms, desultory brass parps and gossamer-thin hook suggest seriously misplaced ambition. The one time "ME!" seems to be heading in its intended direction is its conclusion, at which it becomes an ever-ascending celebration. By then, though, it's already dug itself a deep hole to fly out of. [5]

Alfred Soto: The first time she's sounded manic and desperate, like someone pleading for her life; she could've titled it "You Must Love Me." [3]

Stephen Eisermann: Remember when everyone said "Look What You Made Me Do" was Taylor's worst lead single and it could never be worse? I do. And guess what? This is worse. [1]

Jonathan Bradley: "ME!" takes as its starting point the belated success of "Delicate," the late-cycle Reputation single that helped remind more than a few listeners and critics that they'd radically misinterpreted that album on its release. It makes sense that Taylor Swift would return to the source of that renewed goodwill, and this new single does sound designed as a rebirth of sorts: it is sunny and outward-looking after an insular and intimate record. It's also unashamedly and jubilantly corny. That should not surprise; Swift has never only been a dextrous chronicler of emotional contours, and corn has been a part of her songwriting toolbox going back at least to the time she wrote a gushing romance starring Romeo and Juliet that ended with a marriage and hefty key change. "ME!" is unabashed in its goofiness, pairing that dorkiness with the frivolity of "Shake It Off," her biggest hit to date. Panic! At the Disco's Brendon Urie fits in well with this theatricality, and Swift helps temper his archness; he's had "High Hopes," but never this much fun. And it's this sense of fun that makes "ME!" so enjoyable. This is a song that sees the strangenesses and imperfections of ourselves and the people around us, and greets them with optimism and -- Reputation hasn't entirely left us -- a bit of wanton selfishness. I've been to plenty of Taylor Swift shows and, as with "Shake It Off" or "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" or "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" -- I can already tell how much of a blast of a setlist-capper "ME!" will be. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: "Taylor finger, Taylor finger, where are you?" [1]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Taylor Swift #Brendon Urie #pop #music #music review #writing

[mcccix]

Ep 1-3 Random Thoughts

It’s fucking long. You’ve been warned:

ONE— NEED MORE MADI

Clarke emerges from the rubble after a month. We don’t see her use the radio until she gets to Arkadia. So we don’t actually know that she was radio-ing him for 2,199 days. We don’t know how long she was unconscious or if she had a working radio immediately after Praimfaya. The radio is a mobile one, looks beaten-up… either it came from the Rover or it came from Arkadia. She was still radio-ing him for a long-ass time though.

And she was radio-ing Bellamy. She refers to Monty and Raven in the third-person and she’s not likely to be chatting to Harper, Murphy, Emori, or Echo instead of Bellamy.

Loved that we see Jasper’s things. I’m hoping for a moment between Clarke and Monty where she gives him those things.

The editing— they are so not being subtle with that Bellarke business.

Murphy hates himself and, as Bellamy points out, likes playing the hero because it’s redeeming. He doesn’t know what to do with himself or how to feel when he can’t do that. I wish there was more growth with him after 6 years but I hope this means we’re gonna see all that growth this season.

Madi was hiding under the floor of the trailer. She’s definitely meant to reflect/contrast Octavia.

Madi’s hand shook when she shot the guy.

Monty is NOT gonna be down with the ground politics and the things they’re gonna have to do. Bromance with Zeke, pls?

That foreshadowing with Becho tho.

TWO — KICKASS ROMAN TERROR-QUEEN 

Really really interested in the rumours Abby hinted at. Love getting Ark history. Definite foreshadowing.

Niylah and Octavia… not sure what’s going on there. How’d she know about the book? She also didn’t want to leave when Octavia tried sending her away for her safety.

I like Jackson and Miller but when the revolt happens… they hadn’t been down there long. They’re sure moving quick with the I-love-yous. Hope they last.

The “choose” scene— kick ass, well-edited, loved Octavia here.

Surprised by how Jaha died. I knew they’d make him a hero but I expected something much more dramatic and quick. I was surprisingly emotional over it.

They never address what they do with their dead (Side note: I hope they keep Jaha’s ashes/bones/whatever and he eventually gets to be buried with his son.)

Indra thinks of Octavia as her daughter, and now her actual daughter is interfering in that relationship. Gaia obviously becomes an influence on Octavia— how will Indra’s relationship with O change? Potential conflict.

Octavia took the Roman thing and fucking ran with it. It’s a connection to her brother but in a really unexpected way. (I’ve said before that I think Octavia’s arc will in some ways reflect Bellamy’s in S3b-4a but she’ll reach a far different conclusion than he did.)

Most annoying thing for me is that Octavia keeps getting new titles. 

THREE— THE BEST YET

Murphy knew wtf he was doing bringing up Clarke. The little shit, I love him.

4 PHDs? I love backstory.

Madi is not on board with Clarke’s actions and I can’t wait to see how that plays out when things get really bad.

I’m LOVING the parallels with s1— Diyoza’s speech, Clarke’s silence, the impaled newcomer.

Anyone else think Raven is gonna have a field day with these new weapons? Imagine how she could adapt them.

Murphy wants to be a good guy but has never felt or been treated like the good guy. He tries to do the honourable thing and it ends up screwing him over. This dude TRIES and has no luck. That being said, him being left behind with Raven will give the audience a chance to see how they’ve evolved and hopefully will give us some spacekru stories.

But I’m guessing they’ll come down soon so the setup for Raven-Zeke can happen (What is their ship name, btw?)

Madi was way more confident killing this time (and multiple people!) but I feel like she’s gonna have a moment later when she just cannot deal and her turmoil will reflect the things Clarke and Bellamy went through. (Please tell me they do the parental thing and counsel her through it? A la Kane to Bellamy and Abby to Clarke)

Ok but the framing and blocking for the Bellamy-Madi meeting is so important.

The hilarious thing about the Bellamy-Madi meeting is the way it was edited makes it seem like they just ran off together to save Clarke without a backward glance at the others, just abandoned them in the woods.

Bellamy couldn’t even THINK to ask about his sister, who he’s been desperate to return to. “What? No, how can that be?” -- I don’t think this question is about the bunker

That mug! The mug had narrative significance, yes, but it could have said ANYTHING. They could have made it blank, or had the Eligius logo, or anything else. The fact that they made it say that is just…extra.  It’s not coincidental, the writers know what they’re doing.

They’ve seen each other for 2.2 seconds and there’s already been a declaration. I know everyone said things would be fast this season but damn.

Up until this point, they’ve never outright stated how much they care for each other. Other characters have implied it, they’ve done things that implied it, and they’ve hinted at it with things like “I can’t lose Clarke”, “I need you”, etc. but never a confirmation of “Yes, I care about this person. Absolutely.”

“She must be important to you.” This was a statement, not a question. Rhetorical. He didn’t have to reply but he did.

Clarke wasn’t really mentioned by spakekru in ep1. This episode, she was mentioned repeatedly (mainly by Bellamy). The sudden change from no mention of her to the constant reminder of “Clarke died for us, I left her behind”, etc. in the first half of ep3 is meant to emphasize their later reunion. Bellamy mourned Clarke, he felt guilty about leaving her…. and now he returns to find her alive but in danger and he’s thinking “I can’t lose her again..”

It’s a slightly more level-headed concern and need than his absolute desperation in rescuing her from Roan in s3.

The fact that it’s Bellamy alone that goes to rescue her is so important.

Eligius is morally grey, yes. But one thing everyone forgets when comparing their version of morally grey to the main characters’: Bellamy, Clarke et al did shitty things mainly because they were in life or death situations. Eligius is full of people who did shitty stuff before the world ended. What I’m gonna enjoy seeing is how the show is gonna separate the super fucked-up prisoners from those who, like the MCs, did shitty stuff for good reasons. And to see what these super fucked-up prisoners will mean for their survival because they’ve never yet faced an enemy that was actually evil (as in kill-because-they-love-it evil).

Every second of this was a gem.

Things I want to see going forward:

Clarke and Monty reunion. Talking about Jasper with each other.

Raven and Murphy learning Clarke is alive. Bellamy has to have a way to communicate with Raven to tell her if she needs to pull the plug on the prisoners or not. So I imagine him radio-ing her and revealing what happened. And Clarke getting to talk to Raven and Murphy.

How Raven and Murphy react to Madi. 

Bellamy and Madi interaction. Lola said Madi views him as a hero, we need to see more of this.

Bellamy at some point talking to Madi about Octavia.

Kane or Abby reacting to the knowledge that Bellamy and Clarke were separated for six years.

Eligius having an “oh shit” moment when they see Octavia do something badass.

Murphy’s friendship with Raven. Murphy’s friendship with Echo. Or Clarke. Or Bellamy. I want John Murphy to have friends.

#the 100 #the 100 s5 #bellarke #i ramble about nothing #no one reads shit this long

[toopliss-chewtoy]

Hard Coded - Ch. 5/8

I’m so, so sorry for how much time there is between chapters >.< So many other little things that come between it that distract me... oh well, better late then never. A pretty long chapter this time too, please bear with it!

The glorious art in this chapter was done by @rokutsubasa61! She does great stuff, so be sure to have a look when you finish reading :D - J.

[Read from the start] Size: 4282 words Warnings: Author chose not to show warnings - some apply! Also on AO3

Chapter 5

“No cellphones at the table,” Stoick said with a stern frown.

“Sorry, dad.”

Hiccup put his phone away and continued to eat. His steak was pretty good - thanks to the fact Gobber did all the cooking - but his mind was distracted with other things. Things related to a specific white-haired boy.

“Who were you texting, anyway?”

“Just a friend from school.” A friend who he’d been going out with for a couple of weeks now, but that was on a strict need-to-know basis only. He didn’t want to talk about that, not with his dad anyway.

“Who?”

“Does it matter?” Hiccup gave his father a sarcastic stare.

“I’ve never seen you text this much before.”

The teen thought about that. He seriously doubted that he really texted Jack that much around his father. What was he going on about?

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Humor me.”

The tension in the room was palpable.

“Why are you so insistent? What’s it to you who I’m texting with, it’s just a friend.”

“Just a friend.” Stoick grumbled. “Is it that white-haired lad?”

“Yes… he has white hair.” Hiccup frowned. “How do you know?”

“I saw you kiss him.”

All colour drained from Hiccup’s cheeks, reducing his complexion to something very much like Jack’s hair after a fresh dye. “W-what? I-I never-”

“I was done early and going to pick you up because of the weather. You were already in his car.”

It had been raining cats and dogs today, so of course Jack had offered to give him a ride home. Hiccup had kissed him in the car to thank him… and that hadn’t been just a peck on the cheek either. Good Gods! Stoick had seen that! Hiccup was mortified and scared at the same time. He wanted to go back in time to stop his past self from getting in that car and prevent this all from happening. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He wanted Jack to do some weird demonic summoning spell that would instantly transport Hiccup to his bedroom.

“Who is it?” Stoick demanded.

Hiccup considered his options. Maybe this could still be salvaged.

“Jack, from the baseball team. We have science together.”

“How long have you been seeing him?”

“A few weeks now,” he confessed. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned coming out, but there was no denying it now. He carefully kept his face neutral, doing his best to appear confident. Fake it till you make it, right? In truth, however, his hands were shaking like little twigs in a hurricane-level storm, right there under the table.

“Impossible. You’re not gay,” Stoick said. “It’s in your barcode.”

“Oh please, my barcode-”

“Don’t interrupt me. This is just some futile rebellious act or something, and I will have none of it. You will break up with this boy immediately.” The bearded man gave his son a frightening look, just daring him to try his patience and see how ugly it could get. It took all Hiccup’s self-control to stay calm and not break down to scream or cry or both. Not yet. He had to face his father head on on this one.

“No.”

One word, yet so hard to deliver.

“No?” Stoick’s frown got so deep it put the grand canyon to shame. “You’re grounded until you break up with him. No phone, no internet except for school, and Gobber will bring you to school and pick you up right after.”

“You can’t-”

“I can. Now go to your room.”

Hiccup fled the dining table with his heart hammering in his chest. He went straight up to his room and slammed the door shut. Toothless startled, jumping a foot into the air and landing on the ground with an angry meow.

Hiccup paid him no mind and flung himself on the bed. A white hot rage boiled inside him. At the same time an incredible feeling of betrayal made him want to bawl his eyes out. He’d know his dad wouldn’t take it well, but actually experiencing it still hurt so much. And now part of him wanted to rigorously redecorate his room by throwing all the furniture around, and another part wanted to hide under the blanket and cry.

Stoick hadn’t taken his phone just yet, so Hiccup quickly told Jack as much as he could. He didn’t get a reply before Stoick came to collect the device.

After that it was just him. No connection to anyone outside his room. No support.

At least no-one but Toothless witnessed his breakdown.

Gobber knocked on the study door and went straight in, not needing to wait for an answer. As usual, Stoick was still working. Preparing for meetings, reading background material, answering countless emails - it was a never-ending stream of work. Not that you’d ever hear the man complain. He knew perfectly well what he was getting into when he ran for Mayor with even aspirations beyond that. He’d told Gobber as much when he’d asked him to be his personal assistant. Gobber had accepted that position not just to help his friend, but even more so to make sure at least someone was taking care of Hiccup too.

He’d address what had happened during dinner soon, but first…

“Courier,” Gobber stated.

The big, bearded man frowned. Gobber had seen that turn into his default expression the last few months.

“At this time? What did they bring?”

“The lad won’t say, he’ll only give it to you. Don’t look like much of a courier to me either.” The bald PA shrugged.

“Let him in.”

Gobber went to fetch the odd ‘courier’. If he was really that, because what delivery boy wears such an fine suit? Gobber was no expert on suit brands - he hated the damn things, it was bad enough he had to wear one - but it looked more expensive than anything he’d ever owned. Add to that the fancy briefcase he was carrying and you have the poshest delivery boy of the century.

The unknown figure wore it with confidence too, as if he was entirely used to this kind of stuff. He looked very unremarkable otherwise. Neat haircut. Clean shave. Your typical banker, including the borderline arrogant smirk. Gobber followed him inside and shut the office door, curious what he had to say to the mayor.

To Gobber’s surprise, the pseudo-courier didn’t say anything at all. He simply took an unmarked, sealed envelope from his briefcase and handed it to Stoick. It was large - the kind that holds A4 printed documents - and not very thick.

“Is that all?” Stoick asked. At least he was just as surprised as his PA. “All the way out here for this?”

The visitor nodded. “Just delivering,” he said. “We hope to hear from you soon.” He glanced at Gobber, nodded at Stoick, and turned around to leave again. Gobber showed him out, thoroughly puzzled by the whole affair.

Stoick rubbed his temples, trying to keep the oncoming headache at bay. First that thing with Hiccup, now this… one peek inside the envelope confirmed his suspicion. It was a letter and thin document from Echelon, the company behind the barcode system as it is used today.

It must be a sensitive piece of paper if they delivered it like this. He quickly scanned the letter.

This definitely wasn’t going to help with his headache. They were getting impatient, and had sent technical instructions to make their transition go faster. The script was only a few pages long, but Stoick really didn’t want to deal with this now. He stashed the envelope in a drawer together with Hamish’ phone. He locked the drawer, pocketed the key, and decided he’d done enough work for one day.

Hiccup lay in bed. It was late, but sleep wouldn’t come. Father sleep had been scared off like a startled deer during hunting season and he’d probably not return to his duties anytime soon. Instead he surfed the glorious wave that was 400 channels of satellite TV, hoping to find something that could distract him. Or even better, lull him to sleep after all. So far he’d only found tasteless comedy-shows, crappy sitcoms that weren’t even funny 30 years ago, and doctor Phil reruns. He sighed. He wanted to chat with Jack. That idiot would probably stay awake to text back as long as it took for Hiccup to fall asleep. Sometimes Hiccup wondered what he’d done to deserve such a kind boy.

He couldn’t wait for school tomorrow. At least he’d be able to see Jack there. Maybe sneak off to a more private place for a hug or holding hands or something.

“Tomorrow the trial of Dr. D Faustino will reach it’s conclusion.” A news anchor said. “Experts claim he is facing up to ten years in prison for alteration of multiple barcodes during his career as plastic surgeon.” Hiccup perked up. He didn’t watch the news very often - not  on TV anyway, that was more entertainment than news most of the time. But you didn’t hear about someone messing around with barcodes every day.

“How do you estimate the chances for a not-guilty verdict of your client?”, asked their correspondent to a guy with a sour face and gray suit. The tag in the corner said he was the doctor’s lawyer.

“I feel like we stand a good chance tomorrow. The evidence is all circumstantial at best. Today’s verdict will have a tremendous effect on the debate and social implications connect to changing ones barcode as well - it can transform the entire issue . I think the judge and jury are well aware of the deep underlying effects the verdict can have.” The lawyer then promised to appeal, of course, should the verdict be ‘guilty’.

Hiccup zoned out the moment some so-called ‘experts’ were asked for their opinions. He was repeating the lawyer’s words. Such a delicate case could have serious implications… if people would only listen to that lawyer. He seemed to have thought things through for a change. The man was probably of the opinion codes were overrated, that the real world wasn’t as black and white as the lines on your wrist. But no-one would say that on television, of course. All anyone ever wants are bite-sized pieces of black and white “truth”, taking any easy solution over actual thought and nuance.

Maybe with this court-case going on, some debate could be found online. Hiccup was hungry for any arguments against barcodes, especially now.

He got out his laptop. It was meant for school and thus absolutely littered with parental control software. Surely he could find a way to break through it, but one slip-up and his dad would find out and take the laptop away altogether… he couldn’t risk that. So for now he’d have to live with internet filters, restricted software, and worst of all: a time limit. It still had Google. That was something.

He had to work fast and efficient here. No time to do more than a quick scan over forum threads, which were more troll infested than information rich anyway. He was on the lookout for any credible sources like news websites or literature. The most recent news was easy to find. Google was kind enough to put that on the first two pages already. Faustino was on trial, buzzfeed was covering which famous musicians had an asterisk, and Congress would soon vote on a new bill to update the Barcode Security Act. The Enhanced Barcode Security Act, as it was very creatively called, was expected to pass into law without any problems. Now that was interesting.

Of course Hiccup had known the BSA existed, but why it was being updated was a mystery to him. He’d tried to read the original act with all its impossible legal jargon. As far as he could tell, it was just your basic privacy legislation, but then for barcodes instead of emails and phonecalls. This bill had been around for years now.

What politician had been brave - or perhaps foolish - enough to start a debate about it and get it appended? It wasn’t even clear to Hiccup what had to be ‘enhanced’ about it anyway, nor did any of the news-sources specify what exactly was going to change in it.

Sadly, as he dug deeper, he found more steaming troll-dung and tinfoil hats. Topics like these were an absolute favourite for the conspiracy nutjobs and the internet was full with ‘alternative facts’. It was pretty difficult to sift through the heaps of information and distinguish what was real and what wasn’t.

He longed for just a shred of reliable evidence to slap in his dad’s face. To back up what he’d known for years already: that a barcode does not define you, and that the match-making system was the biggest load of crap in the history of pseudoscience. So he kept searching. He still had fifteen minutes computer-time left before he needed to enter a password. No pressure.

Toothless was draped over his legs for moral support. The cat hadn’t left his side after his breakdown, which he was thankful for. Now that Hiccup was doing all right again, Toothless was relaxed as well, purring contently.

More fora. Reddit threads. 4-chan. Sometimes parts sounded reasonable, maybe even borderline scientific, but Hiccup was pretty sure it was better to disregard anything that was mentioned in one breath with ‘lizard people’ and ‘virtual Satanist invasions’. When his time was up and the laptop started to shut down on its own, he hadn’t learned much more.

He was fairly certain government committee reports at least existed, as well as scientific literature. Google scholar praise be unto thee. Sadly, any real article was behind a paywall, without as much as an abstract or conclusion available to Hiccup. And there was no trace of the government reports online at all. He hadn’t managed to find anything about the public debate at the time the whole system was introduced either. Even when searching for that specific period in time, all he got were marketing campaigns by Echelon Corp., the telecom giant.

Frustrated, Hiccup put the laptop aside. Toothless had dozed off and protested vocally against the sudden movement.

“Sorry, bud. You can’t help it either.”

The information was out there, Hiccup just couldn’t get to it.

Unless… His dad was going to run for governor election. Maybe Hiccup could get what he needed through his dad! Step one would be to break into Stoick’s home office and check his papers. Perhaps he could even get in his laptop. Who knows what kind of things that could give him access to! He’d just wait till tomorrow, when his dad wasn’t home, and have a quick look.

Wild trails of thought continued for a little bit longer, but his brain soon gave up. He was worn out just enough to sleep a bit.

The next day was better. He had one period off in the afternoon, and Jack had skipped a bit of training so they could spend it together. In fact, it seemed as if Jack had made it his mission to smother Hiccup in hugs. He touched the brunet whenever he could, evidently determined to show how much he loved Hiccup, and totally ignoring the surprised people that saw them.

At lunch, they sought some privacy, sitting on the ground in a remote hallway. Far away from the busy buzz of the cafeteria.

“I can’t believe your dad is doing this. This is pretty abusive if you ask me.”

“What can I do?” Hiccup replied. “He’s my dad and well respected at that. He can do as he pleases.”

“Still shitty.”

“Well… yeah. You don’t need to tell me, I can’t even go online at night.” Hiccup sighed.

“I know. Sorry. I love you.” Jack said. He rested his head on Hiccup’s shoulder.

“I love you too.” Hiccup played with his leather bracelet. “We’ll get around this.”

The constant affection during the day, made the isolation that was to come in the evening seem a bit more bearable. As expected, Gobber was there to pick him up right after school. Hiccup immediately spotted him as he walked out the door, waiting in the car, not far from the main entrance. Hiccup squeezed Jack’s hand and together they walked down the few steps to street level. People were all around them, and normally Hiccup wouldn’t do a thing with that many onlookers. He wanted to make a point though. He swallowed and kissed Jack right there. Not an innocent peck on the lips either.

“Wow,” Jack breathed. “I thought you wanted privacy for that.”

“Making an exception this once.” Hiccup smiled nervously. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yea,” his boyfriend promised. “See you tomorrow.”

Hiccup squeezed his hand one last time. The looks they were getting from their peers made him incredibly self conscious, so he quickly got into the car. When he looked at Gobber, he could swear the man was trying hard to hide his grin. Not quite the response Hiccup had expected, but he didn’t ask about it. He didn’t grumble to Gobber about being picked up either.

When they got home, Hiccup went up to his room as usual. Instead of starting on his homework, he pretended to watch TV, keeping a watchful eye on Gobber’s car outside. The moment he left for some grocery shopping, Hiccup went to his father’s study. The door wasn’t even locked.

Now he had about an hour to snoop around… and he had no idea where to start. He looked around, wondering when he’d last been in here. It felt like ages ago. There was an old, dark wooden desk with a sizable ergonomic chair behind it. Opposite were two smaller chairs. The floor was simple but clean carpet and the walls were mostly lined with bookshelves with rows of ledgers and books, some of which were leather bound. Unlike those show-studies of billionaires, however, Hiccup was pretty sure Stoick had actually read every page that was on his shelves.

He walked past the rows of ledgers and books and read their titles. The fancy bound books seemed to be an encyclopedia. Part 15 was missing and it stopped after 31 with room to spare on the shelf. There was a framed picture of Stoick and Valka, Hiccup´s mother, together. Hiccup had a picture just like that in his room, but then with only Valka on it.

He sighed, getting a bit frustrated.

What did I even expect? A folder with ‘my secret stuff’ written on it?

He wasn’t even sure if his dad had excess to the documents he was looking for. Also because the term ‘documents’ was rather broad and vague and he honestly had no idea what he specifically needed. Maybe this wasn’t as smart as he’d initially thought.

Of course he tried the drawers. They were all locked. In the top drawer was a keyhole, and the key was not in it.

Great.

It took him nearly half an hour to find the key. It lay behind the framed picture. The whole concept was so bad-spy-movie-like that Hiccup couldn’t help but feel very disappointed in his father’s attempt at secrecy. This man was not made for keeping things hidden, obviously.

He had to hurry now; he was running out of time, and he didn’t want to make this a daily thing until he found something. That was way to risky.

Inside the drawer was his phone and a letter from the cable company. Underneath that some more papers. A plain white envelope caught his attention. On it was just one name, in Stoick’s handwriting. ‘Valherama’, it read. Hiccup opened it, feeling like a voyeur and an archaeologist finding a new dinosaur at the same time. The envelope contained a hand written letter from Stoick to his wife. It was dated may, three years ago. One month after the accident, Hiccup realized with a start.

His hand trembling slightly, he scanned the letter. It was overflowing with sorrow and regret, but also love. So much love for Valka. Stoick really loved her with all his heart. Hiccup’s vision got blurry, and he rubbed away at his upcoming tears. Stoick missed her just as much as he did. But there was something else too. Not just general regret about the accident.

“I am sorry. I am so, so sorry, my dearest, for I have done a terrible thing. Even now, in this letter, after you have long gone to heaven, I am weak. I cannot get myself to confess to you, and all I can say is how sorry I am. I hope one day Hiccup can forgive me.”

It didn’t actually say what Stoick had done, but it had to be bad for him to feel this guilty over it. A bit further, it said Stoick ‘kept the original papers to remind himself of his folly’. So whatever it was, there were still documents in existence to prove it.

Just not in this drawer.

He’d seen pretty much all there was to see. The drawers contained nothing else out of the ordinary. One might consider random places in between the ‘taxes 2014’ folder a good hiding place for secret documents, but Hiccup doubted his father was that cunning, considering where he’d hidden the key.

But every office should have a safe, right? He hadn’t seen one yet. He checked behind the painting on the wall, just in case, but there was nothing. At least Stoick wasn’t that D-rank-movie cliché.

Hiccup poked his head onto the hallway. The coast was clear. He slipped out, closing the door behind him, and went straight for the master bedroom. Another common safe-hiding spot: the floor of the closet. It was a standard looking thing with a dial lock. The combination was his parent’s wedding date. He had to look that one up, but it was his first guess, and it was correct. He hoped the security measures at his father’s office were better than the ones he implemented at home, or no state secret would be safe.

There were your standard safe-things. A wad of money, a little felt box… and a few yellow envelopes. The kind that’s tied shut with a little piece of string on the back. There were no markings on the front. Hiccup opened one and found… his birth certificate? Or at least a copy? And a letter printed on Burgess Academic Hospital paper. There was also another, heavier envelope. Before he could take a look, he heard the front door slam shut. He damn near shat himself. As quick as he could, he took both envelopes, closed the safe and returned everything to its normal state.

Inwardly cursing continuously, he fled to his room.

Safe.

When he’d calmed down a bit, he dared take a peek into the booklet before hiding it. The table of content showed it was rather extensive. Privacy risks, public opinion, insurance influences, corporate access, etc.

The last subsection was unknown to Hiccup: ‘Ghost implementation’. When he flipped to it, it was just half a page. They cited some other researches Hiccup was sure he would never find. So much for that. But this booklet was a promising start! Finally something that might show how unreliable this stupid system was! Hope bloomed in his chest, and he allowed himself a little smile. Maybe he could-

Someone knocked on his door. He nearly dropped everything and scrambled to hide it under his covers, throwing an angrily meowing Toothless off his bed in the process.

“Yes?”

Gobber came in. “Picked up a magazine for you when I was out.” He held offered a gaming magazine. It was something Hiccup would probably never read under normal circumstances - physical gaming magazines were rare these days. But considering Hiccup’s limited internet access, it was a welcome gesture. He was surprised too. Was Gobber on his side in this?

“Thanks,” Hiccup tried to smile sincerely. “I could use that.”

“No problem.” Gobber nodded, hesitating. “And ehm… don’t worry lad. He’ll come around.” He left again before there could be an awkward silence, leaving Hiccup with new admiration for the man. He didn’t know Gobber cared that much. But for now, Hiccup had other concerns. He had to hide his ‘loot’ soon, and hide it well, or he’d be caught without having any extra copies.

He granted himself another quick look at the hospital letter before he’d stash it away. It was brief and honestly quite vague, stating that ‘the procedure had been succesful and payment should ensue’. No details, no price. The signature was illegible. Dr. F- something. Honestly it raised more questions than it answered. What procedure? On who? Was it related to ‘the thing’ Stoick regretted so much?

He looked at his birth certificate again. Odd to see his own, full name standing there. Below there was a string of letters and numbers on it - the code as a scanner would read it from Hiccup’s skin.

His breath hitched.

Impossible!

The code on the certificate.

The code on his wrist.

They didn’t match.

He ripped off his bracelet and stared at the black lines imprinted on his pale skin. He knew what they represented. It was something else entirely. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

Suddenly the letter made sense. Dr. F- something. Faustino, the one who was now on trial. Stoick’s regret. It all clicked together.

Stoick had ordered Hiccup’s barcode to be altered.

#hijack #frostcup #j writes #hard coded