#the wrestlers as the audience god this is pure

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Thoughts on AEW World's End

Finally got around to watching this. It was pretty fun.

Zero Hour

Willow Nightingale vs Kris Statlander

It was fun. Willow is one of my favorites in the women's roster of AEW. There weren't any real stakes, which was fine. Having Stokely Hathaway on commentary was definitely a plus, since he's hilarious. It was just great to see two good wrestlers having a good wrestling match. I would have been fine with either of them winning, but I'm glad Willow won.

TNT Title Battle Royal Thing

It was your standard battle royal, really. Had some entertaining moments. I'm a fan of Lance Archer, so it was great seeing him. And Danhausen. I would have liked the final two to be Dino-Kane vs Archer, but it is what it is. Nothing special.

Wheeler Yuta vs Hook (c), FTW Title, FTW Rules

Yuta is absolutely perfect as being this snotty little piece of shit that's clearly good at wrestling, but not as good as he thinks he is. Hook has definitely come a long way in his wrestling since he started. I enjoyed it. I love listening to Taz consistently just sound so damn proud of Hook. It adds so much flavor to the match. Decent match overall. Nothing particularly special, but it was fun watching Yuta get the shit kicked out of him.

World's End

Bryan Danielson, Claudio Castagnoli, Daniel Garcia, Mark Brisco vs Brody King, Jay White, Jay Lethal, Rush

Mark Brisco is one of the most endearing, and one of the silliest, people in AEW. I assume that it was at least partially his request, but it's so sweet (and so sad) that the entrance screens still reference his brother everywhere.

Brody King will always terrify me.

Rush is unfairly cool.

Jay White is one of my favorite wrestlers. I love how he flips between being this cocky asshole to a sniveling piece of shit during matches. I also like how always looks like he's about to collapse after seemingly after match. It adds a lot for me.

I liked this one. It had a lot of people who I'm pretty glad to see on my screens. Having Daddy Magic on commentary is always innerdaining. Genuinely happy to see Garcia actually get the pin, since he's someone who I definitely wanted to get further in the CC. I wouldn't mind seeing him get the ROH Pure title off of Yuta in 2024. Miro vs Andrade el Idolo

Miro and Andrade were two of the reasons I watched Collision. I really enjoyed Andrade's character when he debuted, and Miro is just very good at being an incredibly intense dude who I believe would try to kill God. Andrade's AEW theme is also just one of my favorite wrestling themes.

Since I had read before watching this that Andrade's contact was up, I expected him to lose. The match was decent. They're both good wrestlers, but it wasn't anything that blew me away. Miro winning makes sense, though I still don't fully understand where the Miro/CJ arc is going (I assume I've missed something)

Riho vs Toni Storm (c), AEW Women's World Title

Toni Storm doing this unhinged 1950s, Sunset Boulevard thing has been fantastic. She's great in the ring, too. Solid match with nothing particular exciting going on about it. While Toni did win this one, I would like to see her lose the belt sometime soonish, because I do want to see where they would take the character. If Mercedes shows up in AEW, I wouldn't be opposed to Toni losing to her. But that's also just my bias.

Swerve Strickland vs Dustin Rhodes

I love Swerve. He's absolutely one of my favorite active wrestlers. I've wanted a belt on him for ages. He's also so absurdly popular that I'm pretty sure he could actually kill someone in the ring and the audience would be chanting "WHOSE HOUSE? SWERVE'S HOUSE!" during the murder.

Sucks that Keith Lee couldn't be cleared because of whatever injury has been nagging him since 2022.

For a match with, ultimately, no real build, it was pretty good. Dustin is by no means a bad wrestler-- I was a fan of Goldust back in the da, too. And Swerve is just legitimately great in the ring. Always glad to see Swerve win a match.

Chris Jericho, Sammy Guevara, Darby Allin, and Sting vs Ricky Starks, Big Bill, Konosuke Takeshita and Powerhouse Hobbs

I'll be honest, outside of listening to Tony Schiavonne do his "IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIIING" I just couldn't care about this match. I just had no investment in it, to the point that can't really remember anything specific about it.

I'm getting kind of tired of the Don Callis family, and honestly just Don Callis in general.

I don't care about Jericho and Callis.

I don't know if it's his choice or not, but I wish that Sammy would actually get away from Jericho and do something independently.

Starks and Bill are fun as a pair. They're cool.

I want to see Takeshita more.

Darby is here for a good time, not a long time.

I will probably be a little sad when Sting retires (although if he un-retires, as wrestlers tend to do, I will also be annoyed).

Abadon vs Julia Hart (c), AEW TBS Title

It was alright. I'm glad to see Abadon finally wrestling more than just on Halloween, and seeing a match that was really just two different types of Spooky fighting each other was kinda fun. The audience was definitely enjoying it. Julia and Abadon have both had better matches. Something seemed off about it. It almost felt kind of sloppy-- one thing that stuck out in particular was Julia messed up her moonsault at the end of the match.

Didn't expect Abadon to win, but it would have been cool if they did.

Adam Copeland vs Christian Cage (c), AEW TNT Title, no DQ

The audience actively detracted from the match for me. One of my least favorite things is when the audience just sits there shouting "WE WANT [X]" for various props in a no DQ/hardcore match. It feels like they don't really care about the match so much as the specific spot that they're wanting.

That said. I liked this. Christian was great, Adam was great. They worked really hard to give you the feeling that they weren't friends anymore. Had a lot of good hardcore wrestling spots. Watching Nick Wayne eat shit because the burning table didn't break was kinda funny. Copeland winning was a nice move.

Christian Cage vs Adam Copeland (c), AEW TNT Title

Dino-Kane, having won the battle royal from Zero Hour, showed up and mauled Copeland. Dino-Kane was about to request his title shot when Christian Cage managed to con the title shot from him. So, Christian signed the contract for the title shot. The match was made official. Bell rings, Christian hits a spear and wins back the TNT title.

lmao.

I appreciate it just for being such a POS move from Christian.

Jon Moxley vs Eddie Kingston (c), Continental Classic finals, NJPW Strong Openweight title, ROH World title, AEW Continental Title

Match of the night, categorically. Mox and Eddie are fantastic. I was absolutely glued to my screen. These dudes know how to put on a good match, and so many matches with Eddie always feel like they have these enormous stakes involved, no matter who insignificant the match actually is. Few people can, or do, get me as invested in their matches as Eddie Kingston does in his.

I loved it. I was so happy to see Eddie actually win it all. And to see Mox and Eddie hug after the match-- not in a shipping way. You do you with that, it's not my cup of scene-- but because I like that Mox and Eddie are seemingly back to being friends.

I don't like to sit and analyze stuff involving Eddie too much, because I feel like it's disrespectful to try to do inside baseball shit to a guy like him and the work he puts into his character.

Samoa Joe vs MJF (c), AEW World Title

MJF is another dude who I don't like to sit and analyze too much, because of his character work and things like that. The commitment MJF and Eddie have to keeping kayfabe is genuinely great, and I have nothing but respect and appreciation for that.

That being said, we gotta do some of that with this.

MJF is, according to myraid reports, like Super Injured and in tons of pain. He's been dealing with stuff for a while.

I think this managed to help the story of the match a long, but it hurt the actual quality of it.

MJF's babyface run lately has felt a lot like an homage to that 1980s-early 1990s babyface archetype. Get beat down, overcome adversity, etc.-- the same kind of thing that Cody Rhodes has done. MJF is also a great babyface because he's very open about a lot of his personal issues, which makes him relatable to be people (part of why people like Hangman Page is the whole "anxious millennial cowboy" thing is very relatable to many). Being injured makes MJF the underdog. Makes you want to rally behind him even more and see him win. Especially against someone like Samoa Joe. Especially on his home turf.

But I can't help but wonder if this match would have been better if MJF had been at 100%. Something about it felt off. I don't know if I was just reading into it too much, or what. Maybe MJF was always going to be injured for the purposes of the match. I have no idea. While I can wonder, it doesn't really do any good.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the match. I'm a fan of Samoa Joe's, and I'm glad to see AEW treating him as this monster of a dude who just wrecks people's shit.

At this point, I just really hope that MJF is able to do whatever he needs to do so that he can recover from all his shit falling apart. Especially with what happens after the match.

Aftermath

After the match, The Devil's henchmen come to the ring and threaten to beat up Adam and MJF-- specifically, threatening to hit them with a chair. MJF trying to convince them to attack him, and not Adam. Adam trying to divert the attack onto him and not MJF. Then the lights go out.

When they come back, Adam is now sitting in the chair that the henchman had been brandishing. The four henchman unmask themselves. It's Wardlow, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, and Roderick Strong.

So, in a move that was legitimately not surprising, but also the only logical move in the narrative-- Adam Cole is The Devil that had been attacking MJF and others. I am absolutely okay with this.

I had been waiting for a while to see how they were going to split up the MJF/Adam Cole team. Adam Cole is one of the most morally reprehensible pieces of shit out there. It's one of his most significant character traits.

I'm legitimately looking forward to seeing where MJF goes from here. His best friend, his only friend, betrayed him and took from him one of the only things he cared about. He trust Adam, and Adam abused that trust. Now he's left with nothing.

When MJF comes back, he will absolutely have the crowd behind him, so I'm hoping they don't decide he should come back and turn heel (like when they kept Rollins as a heel after he returned from his knee exploding several years ago).

There's a lot of places this story could still go, and a lot of them have the potential to be pretty entertaining.

#pro wrestling #aew #aew worlds end #aew spoilers #swerve strickland #samoa joe #adam cole #eddie kingston #jon moxley #mjf #maxwell jacob friedman

[stardomtrash]

Hear me out on Club Venus...

I've seen a lot of people feeling negative about the Club Venus split from Cosmic Angels, saying that it seemed like a move purely because a sub unit can't sell t-shirts. But I'm genuinely really happy about the move. I think it was a good idea. Why? *slaps head* Here's why...

Firstly, as Stardom opens back up and gets in more foreigners it gives them a ready made unit they can slot right into. In the past that was Oedo Tai, but that forced them into being heels even if that was against their character. What's better about CV though is it's a group full of English speakers, something that I'm sure is greatly appreciated by those coming into the promotion, knowing that they have people there to make sure the language barrier isn't an insurmountable obstacle. Surely that helps them assimilate into the roster better and makes them feel more comfortable and at home in the promotion, which is never a bad thing.

Also, as Stardom expands into the Western market, not only do these performers have recognisable names those new to Joshi can follow from Western promotions into Stardom, but by sake of the fact this is a big English speaking group, with even Japanese wrestlers incorporating English into their promos, this does break the ice for those who might be a bit put off getting into Stardom because of the lack of English being spoken. It's just that little bridge to help people get into it, like a gateway drug, which is a terrible comparison but my mind is blank right now 😅. It's like how K-Pop songs have an English hook. There. That's a better one.

A lot of wrestlers talk about wanting to bring their unit and Stardom as a whole worldwide, but Mina shouted the loudest. She wanted to get the SWA belt (hey remember that?) so she could wrestle overseas and bring CosAn to a different audience. Now she has the chance. She is best placed to integrate Stardom into the wider wrestling sphere. Maybe it should be Tam, or Giulia, or Mayu, or Utami. But it's going to be Mina. And you know what? She deserves it.

Maybe more controversial, but imo Cosmic Angels was getting pretty damn crowded. I know Colours are part time, but even without them, adding up all the CV members as honorary Angels, there was a LOT there. Remember when DDM had about 50 people and they just HAD to split cos they became to OP? Yeah, something had to give here too. I know for a hot second they had only... oh gosh yeah for minute they were just a tag team weren't they. If you just look at the full time members that is. But now with Saori joining, and with everyone holding championship gold, it did not take long for them to pick themselves up again and look like a formidable unit, even if they were lacking in numbers.

As for Mina being a leader, we'll have to see. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Mina - but if you look at all the other unit leaders, they're certified main eventers, undeniable final bosses. Okay, Oedo Tai less so, but they have lineage to make up for it. Mina's not at their level, but having the White Belt certainly gives her the backing to justify a leadership position. Is it too early? Yes, I think so. But would it be a mistake to wait any longer? Yes, it would. Club Venus needs unit status now, and Mina is best placed to lead them. It helps when a unit leader can cut a good promo, and Mina is one of the best.

I'm interested to see where Club Venus will go. I think it depends who sticks around long enough. Mariah seems to be pretty happy there. Perhaps an Artists reign is in their future, but not any time soon. No need to strap the rocket to them yet. A feud with Cosmic Angels seems plausible. Mina is already fighting Natsupoi for the belt, and she made hints at challenging Tam to become a double champion. Tam seems... hurt but also solemnly chill at the split. After all, she did the same thing to Mayu. A bit like when Gods Eye split from DDM, I don't think a feud is necessary. The split isn't as amicable as that was, but even so.

Tl;dr: Stardom don't need to make a unit to sell more naff t-shirts. They don't need any reason. They just need your credit card information

#trash's trash rambles #club venus #mina shirakawa

[andyelson]

billy gunn rocking out to cody’s theme song. goodness i love this

#billy gunn #cody rhodes #oh goodness #i love this #the wrestlers as the audience god this is pure

[chiseler]

Smoke

In 1935, a then-thirteen year-old high school dropout named Frank Cuthbert was arrested in Los Angeles after stealing a revolver. He was sentenced to three years in a notorious reform school in Ione, California.

Shortly after being placed in the reformatory’s version of solitary confinement, Cuthbert ran away, and immediately undertook a bit of a one-man crime spree, robbing several jewelry stores before making the mistake of driving a stolen car across state lines. When he was taken into custody this time, he was sentenced to three years in the federal penitentiary in Springfield, Missouri. Once his sentence at the federal pen was up, he was then transferred to San Quentin on other charges, and was eventually released shortly before turning twenty-one.

After being sprung from Quentin, Cuthbert played it more or less straight, taking on a number of odd jobs around Los Angeles. He at turns worked as a ranch hand, a lumberjack, and a truck driver, along with trying his hand at boxing.  

As the story goes, in 1943 Alan Ladd spied a tall and strikingly handsome young man riding a horse through the Los Angeles hills. The two chatted a bit, and Ladd mentioned the encounter to his wife at the time, agent Sue Carol. Carol in turn recommended Cuthbert take a screen test at 20th Century Fox. The test went well enough, and shortly afterward he began appearing in small, uncredited roles in a smattering of forgettable films, usually playing soldiers.

His first on-screen line came in the 1945 Laurel and Hardy vehicle The Bullfighters, in which, thanks to his dark features, he played a Spanish matador. In that same year’s The Great John L. he received his first screen credit as “Frank McCown,” the stage name handed him by some studio executive.

Around that same time McCown, who would never be mistaken for a real actor like John Garfield or James Cagney, signed on with agent Henry Willson. Willson had a reputation in the business for maintaining a stable of outrageously beautiful young men for whom acting ability was often an unnecessary afterthought. Willson also had a thing for catchy, memorable and manly names. So to better fit in with his other clients, like Tab Hunter and Rock Hudson, he re-dubbed his new acquisition “Troy Donahue.”

Then he changed his mind, deciding to save “Troy Donahue” for later. That might work better for a blonde. Instead he went with “Rory Calhoun.” Westerns were all the rage, after all, and it sounded more like a cowboy name.

That one stuck.

In short order, at six-foot-four, ruggedly handsome, and already comfortable on horseback, Calhoun became an inescapable presence in Westerns, usually playing tough guys (often of the bad variety) and almost always in his trademark black cowboy hat. Better still, with his dark hair, swarthy complexion and sharp eyebrows, he could easily play a Mexican if need be, which he often did. Over time, he earned the nickname “Smoke.”

There were a few brief detours for more lighthearted fare like How to Marry a Millionaire and With a Song in My Heart, but then it was always back to Westerns again.

In 1955, a year after co-starring with Robert Mitchum and (for the second time) Marilyn Monroe in River of No Return, and as he was fast becoming a familiar face to American television audiences, Calhoun was targeted by blackmailers. Although their precise demands remain a little fuzzy, the upshot was that if Calhoun didn’t pay up, his  criminal record would be leaked to the press, and once that happened he could kiss his career goodbye.

Sometimes, well, blackmailers don’t stop and think things all the way through before issuing a threat. In this case, for instance, they neglected to consider that  Calhoun was never exactly averse to playing villains. In response to the threats, he grabbed up his arrest records and handed them over to Henry Willson, who in turn (and with Calhoun’s blessing) handed them over to Confidential magazine for publication at their earliest convenience.

It was a win-win for everyone except the blackmailers. Confidential got a big scoop. Willson had cut a deal with the magazine, and by handing them that Calhoun exclusive, the editors agreed to kill a planned story about the secret gay lifestyle of another Willson client, Rock Hudson. And Calhoun’s career got a boost, as the Romantic tales of his misspent youth only bolstered his offscreen reputation as a tough guy.

As westerns began dying off in the early Sixties, Calhoun expanded his repertoire, taking roles in adventure films, detective shows, spy thrillers, historical dramas, soap operas and comedies, including a memorable turn as Jonathan Kincaid in a 1967 episode of Gilligan’s Island spoofing The Most Dangerous Game.

Then came the Seventies and Eighties.

Thanks to a variety of economic and cultural forces, once venerable stars found themselves forced to take roles in low-rent genre films. So, for reasons they’d rather not talk about, we found Joan Crawford starring in the apeman-on-the-loose picture Trog, Ida Lupino in The Devil’s Rain and Food of the Gods, Kirk Douglas smirking his way through The Final Countdown and Saturn 3, an understandably  drunk Ralph Meeker in The Alpha Incident, and John Huston, Shelley Winters and Henry Fonda co-starring in Tentacles, the Italian-produced Jaws knockoff about a giant octopus.

As embarrassed as the above must have been for taking those roles, few actors in their waning years can lay claim to a sub-B filmography quite as extensive as Calhoun’s.

The first sign of things to come came in 1972, when Calhoun co-starred with Stuart Whitman and Janet Leigh in the marauding giant bunny rabbit movie Night of the Lepus. Seven years later he starred in The Revenge of Bigfoot, which was admittedly one of the better entries in the sub-genre of Bigfoot movies. It’s worth noting that in both cases Calhoun, never a great actor, played it straight-faced, bringing an unusual gravity to the ridiculous goings-on.

In 1980 Calhoun was officially introduced to the slasher film generation, starring in the hit black comedy Motel Hell, in which he played a kindly but demented farmer who, with his sister, ensnared passing teens before butchering them and turning them into fritters which they sold to the locals. He followed that up with a charming and charismatic turn as Kit Carson, an aging Hollywood Boulevard performer and storyteller who befriends the local hookers in Angel, a teen exploitation film that wasn’t nearly as prurient as it claimed. After reprising his role in the following year’s sequel, Avenging Angel, it was on to the low-brow dystopian comedy, Hell Comes to Frogtown, with wrestler-turned-actor Rowdy Roddy Piper. He then ended his B film career in 1989 with a supporting role in a something-or-other called Roller Blade Warriors: Taken by Force.

I never saw that last one.

A seventy-year-old Calhoun ended his career on a high and respectable note with a well-received turn in Pure Country before dying in 1999. Funny thing is, looking back over a fascinating and storied life, and a fifty-year acting career in which he appeared in some eighty films and Every TV Show Ever Made, I can’t help but think he was a hell of a lot better in the cheap exploitation films than he was in the Westerns.

by Jim Knipfel

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Celestial

The following is a work of fiction.

Celestial was not like other wrestlers in the WWF. Most of the time his fighting style was fairly standard, and he suffered an early lack of popularity like a lot of wrestlers who are trying to be the “good boy” wrestler do.

But Celestial was very different from, say, Dwayne Johnson’s early “nice guy” days as a wrestler. From the very start he had the gimmick that would give him his meteoric rise to wrestling fame, and losing and even being unpopular - being ignored, was part of it. He expressed it with every fiber of his being from the first matches he was in. For those of you who aren’t obsessive WWF fans, this is Celestial’s gimmick:

Celestial was a beast, some kind of holy battling god, who used a pair of long leather gloves to bind his power so that he could have fair fights against mortals. Like many WWF gimmicks, it was campy and ridiculous. And he played it up.

If he could walk out of the ring at all, he walked out of the ring with a smile. People booing him after his fifth consecutive loss, he smiled. The idea was that he didn’t come here to win. He came here to play, and he was happy just to get to compete. And generally, he didn’t win. In his first ten matches he won two. If he hadn’t faced Ripper as his eleventh match he probably would have faded into obscurity. But Ripper was a wrestler whose gimmick was the extremely common one of being a monumental prick. Before the match, Ripper promised he wouldn’t just destroy Celestial’s body, he’d destroy his career. We now know this couldn’t have been further from the truth.

After a harrowing, one-sided battle that is honestly kind of hard to watch, Ripper, with his victory basically in the bag, pulled Celestial’s left glove off of him. And then, well...this happened.

[Footage shows Ripper starting to suplex Celestial. With the free left hand, Celestial catches the mat and pushes himself and Ripper off of the ground.]

In one move Celestial sold the story his gimmick had been merely telling the audience with words for the last ten matches. If you watched that fight you were suddenly a Celestial fan.

Because Celestial wasn’t done. Every movement, even his footwork, was eerie and inhuman while one of his hands was uncovered. His entire fighting style changed. He didn’t move like a wrestler. He moved like a cross between a kung fu master and a werewolf.

[Footage shows Celestial dodge under a grab and slam a hand into Ripper’s chest. Ripper flies across the entire length of the ring, bounces off of the ropes, falls flat, and lays still.]

Celestial had everyone in on his gimmick. I mean, just look at this closeup on the ref’s face as Celestial stalks toward the downed Ripper. He’s shouting to get back, but he looks terrified.

After Ripper, Celestial’s matches took on a new life and popularity with the WWF fanbase. Everyone watched with this tension; Would the gloves come off this time? There was never a question of whether Celestial would take them off himself. He refused absolutely. But would his opponent rip them off? Would his opponent have the hubris to face the battling god?

After another six matches for Celestial - two wins and four losses - Behemoth Jake would be the next to give it a try. Jake outweighed his opponent by nearly three hundred pounds, and it meant nothing. Just...Just look at this.

[Footage shows Behemoth Jake leaping from the corner of the ring toward Celestial, and being caught mid-air, practically impaled on Celestial’s arm. A moment later, he’s pushed back, hurled out of the ring over the corner]

For six years this would be the pattern. Celestial maintained a record of one win to every four losses as his total average - honestly kind of abysmal by WWF standards - but nobody cared about that record. In that same period he had a record of twelve and O for one-sided slaughters against all twelve of the fighters who tried to face him “unbound.” 

[Footage shows short half- to two-second clips of Celestial’s uncovered silver-painted hands laying waste to wrestlers in various ways]

And then came Wrestlemania 2026. The end of Celestial’s career as a pro wrestler.

Tommy Gunn was at the top of his game and starting in on a move toward film. He was the defending champion and after Celestial took three wins in a row - two close fights with gloves on and one he’d almost lost before his opponent made what fans just called “The Mistake” - Tommy wanted to face Celestial, “No gloves no tricks,” in a cage match.

At first Celestial refused. For a while it looked like he wouldn’t be competing. Then came “leaked” footage of his manager telling him his career would be over if he just refused to fight, and no he couldn’t keep the gloves on if the champion wanted them off.

The banter leading up to the fight was weird. On one side you had Tommy, giving the usual growling performance about how he’d take his enemy down, and on the other you had Celestial, whimpering, pleading, begging his opponent to let him keep the gloves and just play.

This kept up all the way to Celestial’s entrance into the arena. He entered with the gloves still on and Tommy was furious. He was not having it. This was where he planned to break that perfect twelve-zero streak on the biggest wrestling stage and raise himself to legendary status.

You can see Celestial literally weeping - tears are running down his face - as the cage is lowered over the ring. The crowd is chanting with Tommy, “Take them off! Take them off!” And then Celestial wails. It’s this excruciating wail of pure anguish, and it silences the crowd. And then, for the very first time, Celestial takes off his own gloves. First the left, then the right.

Tommy cheers, but the crowd doesn’t. That wail got to us. There’s a feeling permeating the entire arena: This is wrong. I know because I was actually there, at Wrestlemania 2026. I felt guilty for chanting “Take them off!” But more than that, I was scared. We were in uncharted territory. I know how ridiculous this sounds but I felt a very real sense that my own life was in actual danger, cage be damned.

And, well...

[Footage shows a point where Tommy dodges desperately out of the way and Celestial’s fist bends the bars of the cage out. As the camera zooms in, we can see that the bent bars seem to be glowing red-hot]

Never in the history of wrestling has a ring been so thoroughly trashed. Tommy almost immediately realized he was outgunned but there was nowhere to go. He tried his best but, just...what the hell.

[Footage shows an attempt at a body slam. Celestial wraps his ankles through the bars of the cage and, with those as a grip, lifts Tommy off the ground and body slams him instead.]

Every time Celestial punched at Tommy there was another dodge and whatever Tommy was in front of got completely obliterated. The steel cage, the padded corner of the ring, the ring’s floor. It didn’t matter. Those fists went straight through. It was terrifying. The fight ends with this: A move that’s never been seen since, where Celestial pins Tommy’s neck basically by stapling him down. It’s a hold that can only be done because Celestial punched a hole in the floor earlier.

When the match ends, Celestial, who as always has been this eerie mix of brutal and cold ever since the gloves came off, puts the gloves back on to talk. And as always as soon as the gloves are back on he’s exhausted and mournful. He’s handed the belt and he throws it into the center of the ring.

“I didn’t earn it,” he says. “I won’t take it.”

And he walks out of the ring, and out of the arena, and out of professional wrestling. Nobody has ever done this. To quit during Wrestlemania, to refuse the trophy and leave without it? But if you were a Celestial fan, this made perfect sense. Because this was who he was. He’d always shown a bitterness, a hatred for his own overwhelming “unbound” power. This had been his character since day one. We never imagined he’d play it so completely that it would be built into how he left the industry, but that’s what’s so great about him. You can tell that from the very beginning Edward Fontaine had his story - a tragedy - written out for his character Celestial, and that the story had a beginning and a middle and, unlike so many other wrestlers, an ending. Fontaine had written out the end of his own career from the start. And I think that commitment to his story, his narrative, is the reason, possibly even more than the ridiculous stunts he was able to pull in the ring, that Celestial’s legend will never be matched. To tell this story right, Fontaine had to give up what could easily have been another ten years of wrestling career. Who does that?

Well...Celestial. And that’s why I’ll always be a fan.

#writing #fiction

[italicwatches]

Wanna be the Strongest in the World - Episode 11

Fuck me, big grocery excursions are the worst. The worst. So terrible. But, now it’s time for wrasslin’. It’s Wanna be the Strongest in the World, episode 11! Here we GO!

-So Elena’s reveal gets played again in case you missed it.

-Opening!

-Episode Eleven: Pure Soul!

-So the audience is losing their fucking minds at this match between two idols, and Sakura’s trying to process it, and the announcer is hyping it like hell. I’m legitimately impressed. So why’s Elena here, in this ring, to face Sakura? To kick her ass and drag her back, kicking and screaming, to Sweet Diva…Or force her to turn her back on the group utterly. Either she loses and returns, or she proves herself capable of destroying her longtime partner. Those are the only two options. NOW RING THE BELL!

-So Sakura’s not taking it well, as Elena…Runs…And runs…And…Like this is a really long repeated sequence, guys. The ring’s not that big. But finally she makes it, bodyslams Sakura, and whips around her straight into a sleeper hold…One tight enough that Sakura’s got to go for the ropes! Elena tries to turn the rope break into an immediate followup, but Sakura turns it around…

-Only for Elena to punch her right in the jaw, hard enough that she drops…And then it’s into the much-beloved Boston Crab! When the hell did she get so good?!

-Up in the fancy box, Juri’s telling Jackal how it happened…And it all started, like, a week after Sakura’s big declaration of revenge. She blamed herself, so she threw herself into the ring in secret, coming to train day after day…And she started to show enough potential that Juri started to get plans for her…

-And the idol fans are just stunned, because Elena is really working Sakura over. Like, she’s legitimately good at this…Though it helps that Sakura’s brain is totally scattered, as the rest of the crew also realizes. Going in against a wrestling-friend is one thing, you both know there’s no hard feelings, you’re both gonna try and make the other look good, it’s all part of the nature of things. But going in against a friend from outside of that, especially one who’s trying to take you down…That’s…Woo boy.

-Especially since Elena’s been psyching herself up for this for like a year. So she’s being full-on ruthless against Sakura, as the tragic music plays…And Juri explains how it was really Sakura’s continuing to wrestle after defeating Rio that made her decide she had to go all in and drag her ass back to the stage. So Juri took her personally under her wing, Elena took on the mask of the Blue Panther, and she started doubling down on her training…

-It’s a tragedy of pure, earnest hearts…As Jackal sees so damn much of Juri and Misaki’s old rivalry in those two kids. Two generations of kids too damn earnest and awkward with their actual emotions, so they work it out in the ring…

-And back in that ring, Sakura’s literally on the ropes, not having a single opening…When Misaki tells her to shape the fuck up. You swore you wanted to be the strongest in the world! You don’t get there without taking down the people you love! So either admit it’s over…Or go ALL OUT!

-So all out it is, as Sakura starts to really, properly wrestle…But that just gets Elena throwing everything she has against Sakura, wrapping her up in an Inside Heel Hook! One of the secret forbidden techniques of wrestling, capable of causing permanent tendon damage! Berserk actively bans that move from their rings…But this is in Miyabi’s ring, who hold no such restriction! Sakura’s in genuine danger now if she can’t get out of this one…!

-She ends up smacking the mat twice, almost tapping, before she manages to wriggle enough to get the rope and get herself some room…But that put some serious, lasting pain on her legs. Enough that she’s running slow when she tries to grab Elena up, and instead gets spun around into a Kneebar! Elena’s just going for Sakura’s legs again and again, putting her best tools as an idol and a wrestler at risk…And she tries to get Sakura to give in, but NO! Sakura refuses every single time, not, surrendering, for anything…! No matter how bad the pain is, no matter how hard Elena pulls, she keeps herself from yielding or tapping…

-Making screaming, flailing gropes to tug herself along, inch by brutal inch, even as Elena’s sheer force threatens to dislocate her left knee entirely. Come on, Sakura! You can make it! Just a little more! Moe cheers for her, and Sakura manages to get the rope! REF CALL IT FUCKING GOD! And the ref calls it, but Elena keeps holding, not listening…My god, she’s gone full heel! It’s not until the ref starts counting, putting it to a disqualification count, that Elena finally lets loose…

-Which gives Sakura enough time to slip out of the ring, try to catch her breath before she whips herself back in and has another go…But Elena just slides on out and kicks Sakura to the ground, taking the match to the floor! And Moe’s about ready to start kicking the shit out of Elena, but no, they’re allowed a full 20 count outside of the ring…And Elena holds it until 11, trying to put Sakura down long enough that she can’t return before the full count.

-She’s utterly exhausted as she gets to the ropes, and Misaki reminds her, you have to go in full force…Of course, that just leads into another Kneebar when Elena catches her and slides her down! Again and again she goes for Sakura’s left leg, pouring it all on to try and threaten Sakura’s livelihood, to put the fear into her…Even as, inside, she wishes Sakura would see sense and yield…

-But Sakura swears to NEVER give up, no matter what, as she claws her way to the ropes! REF!

-The audience is getting some serious hype now, as Elena has some fans chanting her name, and Sakura’s fans chant in turn…Pretty soon there’s some genuine hype building, as the audience fully buys into this rivalry…The girls’ manager watches with some amount of horror…And Misaki starts to see exactly what Jackal was saying to Juri. The old rivalry between two people who can’t manage to talk out their complicated emotions, playing out again like some cosmic farce…

-Sakura’s leg is so rough that she can barely feel it. She’s going to be iced up for weeks, and if she takes another Kneebar, it could do permanent damage. She’s got to bet it all on finishing this fast, or admit defeat before she ends up needing a cane for the rest of her life…So when Elena goes in for a throw, Sakura times it, reverses it, and puts Elena into a pin! REF COUNT NOW! One, two…

-Elena manages to break loose! Had the ref counted faster…Sakura’s forced to take it to a ground game, straddling Elena before she can get up and raining blows down on her! And when Elena tries to roll herself out of it, she just puts her into a Boston Crab…One that’s almost as painful for Sakura, with her knee damage, as it is for Elena…! She holds it, goes into the single-leg variant so she can put more of the pressure on her right side, but Elena manages to get the rope!

-This time, though, with her on the backstep, Sakura’s on her in a flash! She flips the script, going for a semi-illegal Reverse Kneebar! SURRENDER, Elena! GIVE UP! But Elena’s just as stubborn as Sakura, holding the line as she manages to get the ropes…

-Up in the box, Juri admits the one problem Elena has. Because she had to live a double life, they were never able to actually get her into a real match. She’s trained, and trained, but she’s never gone in for the long haul on a match before. She’s going to start cracking, and soon…

-Indeed, Sakura gets her into a pain, and when she gets out of it, Sakura just flips her into a rope-leaping second pin! Elena’s battered, and holding up far less well than Sakura, despite Sakura’s knee injuries…Indeed, she’s open enough for, that stance! Sakura’s going for…And she does the Somersault, popping two kicks into Elena’s chin and flipping her right onto the mat! Her knee’s in goddamned agony, but Sakura gets her, putting her into a pin…But without the full power of the second strike, Elena’s alert enough to pull herself out of it!

-The match isn’t over yet, far from it, as she throws Sakura again and again, putting her into a pin she has to struggle to escape…And then it’s just drop after drop, before a leaping pin…One that Sakura rolls out from under, forcing Elena to fully hit the mat! And when Elena tries to come at her again, Sakura flips herself high enough to dropkick her right in the head without the help of the ropes!

-Sakura takes control of the match, putting throw after throw, getting it to halfway through ‘three’ before Elena manages to get loose…She’s at her wit’s end…But, she had one last trick she was holding. Sakura comes in fast, and a little sloppy, to try and end this before she can recover, and in that moment Elena moves like a fucking snake, putting Sakura upside down and dropping her full force with the Juri Crush!

-One that she follows through on with the Spider’s Web! A ferocious sleeper hold that has Sakura struggling, her fans cheering her name, as a whole wave of newborn fans chant for Elena in turn…How will this go…Sakura struggles, but she can’t get her leg to the rope before Elena drags her into the center of the mat! The ref is going to call the match if Sakura doesn’t give a response, but she’s struggling so hard just to stay awake, let alone to go for the ropes…And then she goes limp?!

-CREDITS?!!!

FUUUUUUCK

#where I watch #recap #anime #wrestling #wanna be the strongest in the world

[phenomenal-forearm]

Rivalries

Just a little Trent Seven drabble I made for ya’ll. It’s quite short, and a little boring, but I didn’t want to just delete it.

“Alright listen guys” You readjusted the mic in your hands and looked at the crowd a sly smile plastered on your face. Taking a few steps, you made your way into the middle of the ring. You loved how quickly everyone went quiet on command, it made you feel powerful having the audience in the palm of your hand. “If you think of great groups in wrestling, you think of the New Day, NWO, or Bullet Club. Not three, second rate English wrestlers in a less than average stable” You laughed at the crowds reactions; a mix of gasps, laughs and boo’s. 

You rolled your eyes at the thought of the group. There were no words to describe the pure hatred for them. Just because one of them had the United Kingdom Championship and the other two had terrible moustache gimmicks, they instantly thought they ruled the business, and it pissed you off to no end. However, this rivalry was off screen too. Behind the cameras, all three of them still hated you wholeheartedly. But it made for some of the best scenes in WWE. 

You’d been going on like this for a good 10 minutes. It wasn’t a part of tonight’s show to have you come out. But no one wanted to stop you because your roast were one of the most anticipated things in the WWE right now. The company thought you were a rare talent, you’d perform a lot of five star matches frequently, and you were a quality trash talker. So as soon as you walked down that ramp with a mic in your hands, everyone lost it.

As your mouth opened to talk again, Trent’s theme blared through the arena and everyone turned to look behind you. All at once, the crowd went crazy at seeing Trent standing at the top of the ramp, ready to confront you. You didn’t bother to turn around straight away, your arrogance was the forefront of your whole gimmick so you had to stay in character. 

“You know it’s not nice to talk about people behind their backs” His voice echoed around the place and you laughed quietly, still not turning to him though. The scene probably looked like a parent trying to scold their child to the crowd, but they were eating it up so that’s all that mattered. 

It probably pissed him off a lot that you weren’t turning to face him, and the fact that he could see you laughing at him must have really turned up his anger. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, you little toe rag” You could hear the rage in his voice and you turned around to face him slowly.

“My my Trent. Didn’t your parents ever teach you manners?” You let out a short tutting sound and he began to walk down the ramp, gripping the microphone tightly.

“Yeah they did, but I can clearly see yours didn’t” He sassed and you rolled your eyes again. “And I don’t think its wise to talk about Pete and Tyler behind their backs. Because we will kick your ass” He warned carefully while climbing into the ring with you. 

“Oh shut up, for the love of God” You groaned and walked towards him so you were toe to toe. “Would you even have the balls to fight me. You’re meant to be a ‘gentleman’ Trent” You looked him in the eyes and turned, walking straight past him and out of the ring. A crowd of cheers followed you as you made your way up the ramp and backstage.

-

As you walked around backstage, you tried to avoid the other two members of the BSS. You weren’t scared of them, you were just weary of them. Especially because you’d just dragged their asses to Hell and back less than 5 minutes ago. So here you were now sprinting to the toilet without being spotted. 

Unfortunately, as you were about to turn the corner, Neville walked up to you and stopped you. “I wouldn’t turn the corner. Dunne and Bate are there probably trying to find you”.

Your heart stopped as you heard two voices from the end of the corridor. “Okay. Thanks for the info. I owe you one” You backed away and walked off, deciding to go the long way to get back to your dressing room. 

This particular route however had you walking straight past Regal’s office. Which meant that he was going to see you and probably tear your face off. Though when you got to his door, he wasn’t in the room and you sighed in relief. That changed when you heard his voice behind you.

“That was a stupid move you made back in the ring” You stopped and flinched.

“But the crowd loved it” 

“That matters in this business, I agree. But you can’t go around insulting everyone you come across Y/N” He walked around so he was facing you. A short sigh escaped his lips and you looked up at him with a weary look on your face. “So I’m going to have to put you and Trent together until you can work out whatever this is”

Your face dropped and your mouth was wide open at his demand.“That won’t work Regal and you know it” He had a stern look on his face. “I’m not doing it”.

“Well then it looks like you’re going to be losing a lot of matches from now on” You watched as he began to walk away. Panic set into your body as you thought about your winning streak and your rivalries. Your career would be ruined if you began losing matches.

“Okay fine. I’ll do it” You answered a little louder than expected, but you let out a sigh of relief when Regal turned to face you. 

“We can go over the details tomorrow”

#trent seven #trent seven imagine #please enjoy it #its been 84 years #since i wrote something #on this blog #dont hate me

[mittensmorgul]

I'm watching 11.15 right now and this comment from Dean to Sam "Will you please try not to ruin one of the nicest things dad ever did for us?" really stood out for me. I mean, obviously Dean has always put on a show of "Dad did his best/wasn't totally fucked up/THIS IS FINE" in regards to John and their childhood for Sam, but it's always been pretty clear to me that Sam never actually believed it. How much of that smoke and mirrors is for Dean himself?

Heck, I think at least a little bit of it is self-defense.

But Sam may never have bought all the “John is great” stuff, but I don’t think he ever understood the full extent of what John and Dean (initially under John’s orders) truly tried to keep from him.

I think 3.08 was really eye opening for Sam in this way. I mean, they’d given us some hints earlier on (with Max in 1.14, and Dean’s reaction to Sam’s comment that they were actually pretty lucky with John that they didn’t end up having a childhood like Max did; with everything from 1.18 that showed us just how different Dean’s childhood was from Sam’s... that it was essentially nonexistent), but SAM never got that full story out of Dean even then.

In 3.08, we start to really see the different layers of Dean’s performance for Sam, and Sam starts to get a small idea of this concept too, but it’s still something we the audience have a much clearer picture of, while Sam is still mostly in the dark. Dean’s “Dad’s great!” was just one level of the performance Dean had to construct to keep even the essential nature of their lives hidden from Sam. The superficial veneer laid atop a mountain of secrets and lies that kept Sam “protected” from the supernatural.

I wrote something the other day (and others have written tons on the subject too) about how John was both protective of Sam, but also terrified of him and what connection he may have to the “thing” that killed Mary. I think at first he may have even been terrified that Sam WAS the thing that killed Mary... so keeping Sam in the dark until he learned the entire truth for himself was as much for Sam’s protection as his own. It became a life strategy.

His last words to Dean were that he had to save Sam, and if he couldn’t, then he’d have to kill Sam... I mean, that says a lot toward John’s really mixed feelings about Sam and the lengths he tried to go to in his attempt to “save Sam” from the supernatural.

It’s not really until 9.07 that I think Sam really started to get an idea of just how much Dean sacrificed of himself as a buffer between him and John, and that Dean has always known full well that John wasn’t an ideal parent. But the story became the story, to quote Dean in 9.07, and it just became easier for Dean to believe in the make believe version he’d been forced to build up in his mind. 

But because of all that, the fact that deep down Dean really does know all the truth and horror that Sam had been sheltered from all those years, god how much harder does he truly cling to those very few memories of times he was actually ALLOWED to just be a kid, to just sit at a wrestling show and cheer for his favorite and not have to hide anything or make up a story or anything else. 

I think it’s been a while since Dean tried to delude himself with even the performance of “John was a good dad,” but his comment to Sam in 11.15 didn’t have anything to do with John. Sure, the pretext of going to the funeral was that it was “John’s favorite wrestler,” but the wrestling show itself, that was something Dean wanted to remember for himself. Like the memory of his first B&E sneaking out to watch Gunner Lawless on pay per view. It was more about one of those few small moments where Dean actually FELT like a proper kid, doing something just for fun, and then Sam made that snide comment about the dad drinking and essentially taking his kid to the show for purely selfish reasons (cheap beer, keep the kid distracted) rather than doing something FOR the kid because it was something the kid truly enjoyed...

I hope that makes sense, I’ve been completely distracted watching 1.09 while trying to type this up. :P

#spn 11.15 #spn 1.14 #spn 1.18 #spn 3.08 #spn 9.07 #performing dean #the ghost of john winchester #i think i've linked most of these episodes together multiple times in the past #there's so much thematic overlap between them #winchester family dynamics #the story became the story #sanitized for sammy #amirosebooks

[closetofanxiety]

Pointless categorization of US wrestling promotions

This is really for my own benefit. I’m someone who loves to put things in categories. My God, the number of times I’ve reorganized my records and books. Anyway, this is partly to try and make some sense of the bewildering landscape of professional wrestling in the United States, circa 2017. Feel free to tamper, teach, impart.

The Major League

WWE: This is really it. No one else is even close. In the 1990s, there were two major leagues, the WWF and “the” WCW (people will argue that ECW was a third major, but this is not correct, really). In the 1980s, there were three: WWF, NWA, and AWA. Before that, it was a little confusing, since there were technically three big wrestling feds (NWA, WWF/WWWF, AWA), but for most of that time the WWF was secretly part of the NWA, and the NWA and AWA had a working arrangement not to compete with each other. Really, it was the NWA and no one else in those days. Today’s landscape is very different from those monopolistic days, though, because the NWA was a cartel consisting of many different promotions, while the WWE is a single company controlled by a 70-year-old bodybuilder with the aesthetic sensibilities of a 13-year-old boy. The lack of competition at the top is so glaring that the WWE has been forced to create the illusion of multiple companies, with the “competing” Raw and Smackdown Live shows, and even its own minor league, NXT. This is the top of the ladder for wrestling, not only in the United States, but also worldwide: no one is anywhere near as big as the WWE, and it’s where virtually all wrestlers think about working sooner or later, unless they’re the Young Bucks or Kota Ibushi.

The Distant Second Tier

If WWE is the equivalent of the majors, these companies are the equivalent of AAA ball: they’re not indies, they’re on TV, but they have a fraction of the WWE’s audience and resources, and most of their wrestlers have to work indies (or other jobs) to make a living.

Ring of Honor: A lot of people still categorize ROH as an indie (or “super indie”), but that hasn’t been true since 2011, when the company was purchased by the Sinclair Broadcast Group. Owned by a real company, on cable as well as syndicated TV, touring nationally and running PPVs, and able to offer at least some wrestlers exclusive contracts, Ring of Honor is arguably the second-largest pro wrestling company in the United States, now that TNA has spent the last two years getting kicked to lower rungs of the outer limits of cable TV. Still sort of an indie in spirit, ROH is in the midst of a prolonged identity crisis, not really sure of what it wants to be or how it wants to proceed. ROH shows are perfectly good and enjoyable to watch, but the days when the company was the creative leader of the entire wrestling industry in the United States now seem very distant.

Total Nonstop Action: Created to be the successor to WCW, a new rival to WWE in a planned “Big Two” of the 21st century, it’s hard to overstate how badly TNA has squandered any advantage it ever had. This is a company that managed to be bounced from Spike TV in 2014, despite producing that network’s highest-rated show. Today, in the netherworld of Pop TV - where they aren’t even paid by the network - they’re averaging about a third of their Spike viewership, pre-taping shows, and seeing most of their roster work indie dates. The recent acquisition of the company by a new owner, and the final departure of Dixie Carter after 14 disastrous years at the helm, have raised hopes that things might get better, but right now it’s hard to imagine any wrestler who thinks of TNA as a final destination in their career.

Lucha Underground: This gets a big ol’ asterisk because it’s a TV show rather than a promotion, and it’s not clear that they’ll have a fourth season, but it’s a TV show on a cable network that’s more high profile than either Pop TV or Comet, so there’s that. The show will be available on Netflix starting this month, which could give it the hipster audience it badly needs to keep going. 

The Top Indies

These, at last, are the “true” independent promotions - no national TV deals, no broadcast PPVs (iPPVs) only, no exclusive contracts, but a position in the vanguard of creativity in the industry and, now, the attention of WWE, which has been bringing up indie stars at a previously unheard-of rate. To an extent, these promotions start to blend in with each other, as they share lots of wrestlers, as well as what’s developed as the American indie house style of high spots, little traditional selling or psychology, and lengthy, what-will-it-take match lengths, while avoiding the bloodshed and hardcore style of the late 1990s and early 2000s (with the notable exception of CZW). Like minor league baseball, this is really the circuit where you can feel like you’re seeing tomorrow’s stars today.

EVOLVE: The WWE-approved indie, led by former Ring of Honor creative mastermind Gabe Sapolsky, EVOLVE has not only broken ground by semi-partnering with the big league, but also by abandoning the iPPV model for the monthly FloSlam streaming service, which gives you access to live shows as well as back catalog. With streaming services right now gaining ground in the indie world, FloSlam could be the industry leader, not only because it’s currently alone in offering access to live events, but because it brings together the EVOLVE family of promotions (Shine, Full Impact Pro, ACW) and a few other companies, which is vastly preferable to having to subscribe to each promotion’s own streaming channel. It’s still early days, so it’s not clear how the world of streaming services will shake out, but EVOLVE is in the best position to reap any benefits that come from the changing business model.

Pro Wrestling Guerrilla: Business-wise, PWG is kind of a throwback, in that they don’t offer iPPVs, they don’t stream events live (they have a deal with the Highspots streaming network, but events only appear there months after they happen), and they make most of their money from ticket sales at an overcrowded building, and DVDs. That said, they are the creative pacesetter for US indies, the current version of Gabe Sapolsky-era ROH: for better (match quality) and worse (lack of discernible storylines), PWG is the company most frequently imitated by other indies, and their biggest annual event, the Battle of Los Angeles, has become a kind of micro-Wrestlemania, drawing rabid fans from all over to watch the indie world’s most eagerly anticipated event.

Chikara: Along with Ring of Honor and CZW, Chikara was one of the major US indies to establish itself in the wake of ECW’s collapse. But whereas CZW carried the flag for bloody ultraviolence and ROH established itself as the promotion for technical excellence, Chikara has gone its own way, emphasizing a comic book-influenced, lucha libre-esque style that unfolds inside the confines of a self-contained, self-referential universe. In some ways, it’s the most ambitious of the indies: there’s a Chikara movie, Chikara comic books, and even a Chikara-created would-be national holiday, along with the more familiar elements of touring shows, DVD sales, and its own streaming network. It attracts top indie talent and, unlike most US indies, has established that it can travel internationally, but it’s so sui generis that it will probably never dominate the world of indie wrestling or break through to the non-wrestling audience it so ardently courts. 

Combat Zone Wrestling: In the late 1990s and early 2000s, every indie promotion wanted to be ECW. CZW, launched in 1999 but really coming into its own in 2001 after running its “Cage of Death” show in the old ECW Arena, emphasized the bloodshed and hardcore style exemplified in Paul Heyman’s promotion by wrestlers like New Jack, Balls Mahoney, and Axl Rotten. A Highspots network partner, iPPV purveyor, and owner of a women’s wrestling brand (Women Superstars Uncensored), CZW has never really shed its ultraviolent hardcore image, one that was crystallized by the company’s participation in the Mickey Rourke film “The Wrestler.” This has prevented CZW from establishing the national profile it probably deserves, given that it was an early venue for breakout talents like Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Dean Ambrose, the Briscoe Brothers, Adam Cole, and Mia Yim, among many others. In business longer than nearly any other major US indie, it’s quietly established a pattern of high-quality shows that don’t rely on hardcore matches, which are invariably overshadowed by the one or two lunatic hardcore stunts a year that still form an important part of the company’s lore.

The Indies as New Territories

Most independent wrestling companies can hardly manage to put on monthly shows in VFW halls, let alone imagine touring outside their hometowns. For a few, though, operating within a relatively limited region doesn’t detract from their ability to attract top national (and international) indie stars while developing local talents who often go on to become the next generation of boldfaced indie names. 

Beyond Wrestling: Based in Providence, R.I. but regularly running shows in eastern and now central Massachusetts, Beyond has been tagged as “the East Coast PWG,” and there are definite stylistic similarities between the two companies. But whereas PWG has become purely a showcase for top indie stars (and the Young Bucks, who aren’t really indie wrestlers at this point), Beyond still leaves plenty of room on the card for locals, whether the “Beyond Originals” who were there in the early days or recent graduates of Brian Fury’s New England Pro Wrestling Academy (whose most famous graduate, and a Beyond alum, is Sasha Banks). Business-wise, Beyond has been incredibly savvy with its use of social media, building a subscription-only streaming service on YouTube as well as working with Smart Mark Video for wider distribution of its shows on DVD and digital download. 

All-American Wrestling: Universally known as AAW, this Chicagoland promotion has established a reputation not only for bringing in top indie stars (Pentagon Jr., Sami Calihan, ACH, etc.) but also for developing local talent on its well-attended shows. Its Windy City Classic has become a major date on the indie wrestling calendar, and it’s partnered with Highspots as well as running its own streaming service. Best of all, AAW does what not many indie promotions do, in giving its shows a distinctive feel held together by recognizable storylines.

Absolute Intense Wrestling: The home promotion of current NXT star Johnny Gargano, the Cleveland-based AIW hasn’t dipped its toes into the streaming service world yet, but has drawn national attention for the quality of its shows, its ability to bring in top names who are otherwise scarce on the indie scene (Gail Kim, Shayna Bazsler), and its innovative booking (e.g., having all-intergender cards, or all-women shows). The company also partners with local businesses and touring rock festivals, and the podcast produced by its two owners, “The Card is Going to Change,” is an indispensable and often hilarious weekly dive into the nuts and bolts of running an independent wrestling promotion. 

Premiere Wrestling Xperience: Originally doing business as the Carolina Wrestling Association, PWX has evolved from its 2003 beginnings into one of the country’s most vibrant indies, mixing established indie stars and the occasional TNA wrestler with a cast of Southern-grown talent rapidly becoming top names around the country. The Charlotte-based company has also been in the so-far unique position of having shows on both the FloSlam and Highspots streaming services, significantly raising the company’s national profile.

Maryland Championship Wrestling: Generally known as MCW Pro, the Baltimore-based company has gone from a regional host of ex-ECW talents in the early 2000s to a thriving indie with its own school, $4.99 monthly streaming service, and a calendar of shows that feature everyone from national indie stars to former WWE wrestlers, along with a roster of locals, most notably breakout star Lio Rush. Its lack of association with a nationwide streaming network has probably kept it relatively obscure, but in a lot of ways MCW is the prototype of the well-run regional indie.

Northeast Wrestling: A regular stop for Ring of Honor wrestlers and well-known for its summertime super shows held in minor league baseball parks, this indie promotion based in southern Connecticut and eastern New York has taken the leap from regional mainstay to a greater national profile, thanks to its recent partnership with Highspots and a series of high-profile shows featuring names like Kurt Angle, Cody Rhodes (sorry, that’s just Cody), and even Jushin Thunder Liger. NEW has also taken the innovative step of selling season tickets to its shows at the “NEW Arena,” the town hall in rural Bethany, Conn., indicating a level of confidence in its viability that not many indie promotions can match.

Everyone Else

This is only the smallest tip of the iceberg, obviously. There are wrestling promotions in the US that range from weirdo hipster performance art to pure lucha libre to companies that might as well be operating in the mid-1980s. Every once in a while, I’ll dip into the indie wrestling channel on Roku and be amazed at some of the offerings (a favorite is Michigan’s Imperial Wrestling Entertainment, which tries to put on WWE-style programming with approximately .00000001 percent of WWE’s budget). There are also undoubtedly more companies that belong in the “New Territories” category - well-run local promotions that punch above their weight and can routinely book national talent - but I’m not familiar with enough of them. Use of social media, and appearing on one of the big streaming services, is a fast track to getting nationally noticed, and I expect more companies will go this route in 2017. 

#indie wrestling #independent wrestling #official rankings #wrestling promotions

[barbosaasouza]

Do We Need 4K Nipples?

My dad always says, “Who cares about nipples? You see one and you’ve seen ‘em both.” In the history of hot takes, my dad’s is not exactly a scorcher, but is he wrong? Going by the apparent amount of developer attention paid to the nipples owned by Kratos, protagonist of the new God of War for PS4, I’d have to say that at least someone out there is all about the nips. While the sight of Kratos’ nips puckering through the frigid Scandinavian landscape might have gone unnoticed by the casuals, it was never gonna slip past the eagle-eyed Shacknews staff. After the game was first unveiled at E3 2016, the staff here compared the notes we scribbled on our legal pads. Everyone’s page was just the word “nipples” with three or more underlines. Clearly, some folks put more value on the nipple than others, but do video game nipples even need to be this detailed?

Before we can really start milking this topic dry, I feel that it’s important to take a gander at the lineage of video game nips that led us to this point. There are obviously a few examples that really poke out in my mind, starting with Custer’s Revenge, a tasteless rape simulator for the Atari 2600. Due to the lack of graphical fidelity, the nipples were made up of a single, crude pixel, but it was nonetheless a seed from which other computerized nipples would grow.

As technology improved, the video game interpretation of the nipple improved alongside it. Tossing aside games made purely for pornographic reasons, nudity of any type was rare for the earliest generations of video games and even shirtless males often failed to have nipple representation due to technical limitations. Even some of the most famous early-90s depictions of shirtless guys (Street Fighter II for example) failed to include even a single pink or brown pixel nip. Not until Mortal Kombat popularized using digitized graphical representations of people (and unleashed Goro onto the world) did we get a good look at some man nips. This type of representation was fully realized by WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game in late 1995, with the sumo wrestler Yokozuna sporting some top-shelf brown nips.

Early 1996 rolled around and the gaming world got its first glimpse of what would become some of the most iconic nips in cyber history. Duke Nukem 3D was revolutionary in many ways, but the adolescent male audience that the game was targeted at will never forget approaching one of the game’s strippers, tapping the spacebar, and receiving a quick flash. These nips were tassled (possibly a video game first as well), but were as real as things got in 1996.

The late 1990s and early 2000s represented a boom period in video game technological advancement. As the power and capability of design tools increased, so did the evolution of the cyber nipple. Virtually all fighting games, wrestling games, action games, RPGs, and more featured shirtless men and some sort of nipple representation. While his nipples were merely implied in the original arcade version of Street Fighter II, Zangief’s suckle knuckles were on full display by the time Street Fighter Alpha 3 hit the streets.

Not until the arrival of the Xbox 360 and PS3 did the graphical fidelity in games reach a point where properly modeling a titty and nipple became a legitimate concern (or goal) for developers. The standout nipple of this generation clearly goes to Dante’s Inferno, an action-adventure game from Visceral Games and EA. In the game, the player must progress through the 9 circles of hell, one of which is Lust. Lust concludes with a boss battle against Cleopatra, who ends up towering over the player with her big, veiny shirt potatoes on display. The nips are out in full force and directly affect gameplay. Cleopatra has handfuls of baby enemies that sprout directly from her Hershey kisses and attempt to kill the player. For those who have not seen this, I suggest you Google it.

The 8th generation of consoles, ushered in by the PS4 and Xbox One, have given way to ridiculously detailed character models and graphical effects that can accentuate the progress made towards photorealism. A recent highlight in videogame nipple tech was seen in 2015’s The Witcher 3, as players will nonstop looks at the nipples of protagonist Geralt of Rivea and the countless denizens of Redania that he porks in cabins, the woods, and on the backs of unicorns. The texture work on these nipples was state of the art at the time, working within the game’s lighting system to provide the first convincingly lifelike representation of Geralt’s chest grapes.

If you think that attention paid to video game nipples is solely constrained to mature or adult-themed games, you’d be dead wrong. One need only look as far back as 2017 to find that latest legitimate video game nipple craze. Nintendo’s timeless mascot Mario made waves online when the company published screenshots of a shirtless Mario ahead of the release of Super Mario Odyssey. For over twenty-five years, the italian plumber was tethered to his iconic overalls, but the technological marvel that is Nintendo’s Switch handheld and Mario’s visit to the Seaside Kingdom prompted the shift to a set of dapper trunks and a bare chest. The sight of Mario’s nips literally drove the internet into a frenzy, forcing Nintendo to comment on the Italian chest pepperoni.

This brings us to God of War. Set for release later this week on April 20, the game represents a new high water mark for graphical fidelity on Sony’s PS4 console. Protagonist Kratos is so ridiculously detailed from head to toe that he might possibly be the best looking character in a video game, ever. His clothing, hair, and skin are as good as it gets with real-time rendering. It took a large team years to whip him into shape and there was certainly a lot of time dedicated to his nipples. The PS4 Pro can output God of War at a checkerboarded 4K resolution, giving users with high-res displays a “you are there” glimpse of Kratos’ glass cutters.

Wow. These things are definitely next-gen and they appear to react to various intensities of light, with the nubs casting a shadow over the Ghost of Sparta’s areolas. The eagle-eyed observers will even see that Kratos has goosebumps (or are those Montgomery glands?) on and around his areola. What a time to be alive! Did these nipples need this level of detail? That’s hard to say. Do they serve any purpose to the narrative or gameplay? No, but they could certainly help titilate players who are in that sort of thing (we don’t kink shame at Shacknews). Do I need to clear my browser history and go outside? Yeah, probably.

Stay tuned to Shacknews for more nipple talk. Next time, we will be taking an in depth look at what Hideo Kojima has in store for us when he makes a star out of Norman Reedus’ nipples in Death Stranding!

Do We Need 4K Nipples? published first on https://superworldrom.tumblr.com/

[closetofanxiety]

Nitromare: Three men make a terrible decision

I haven’t been posting here much because Hakujinjoe is visiting from Japan and we’re roaming around New England. For some reason, we decided to watch every episode of Monday Nitro during the Vince Russo-Ed Ferrara Era, starting with the very first one on October 18, 1999. Mark has joined us on this terrible journey, as he is not afraid to endure the worst 1990s TV wrestling had to offer. Let’s dive in, shall we?

The episode, airing from Philadelphia, starts with a limo arriving, a Vince Russo favorite. A bunch of suits get out, followed by Sid Vicious. They walk toward the arena with expressions of grim purpose.

Inside, we get a good cruiserweight match between Juventud Guerrera and Evan Karagias that is interrupted by Bret Hart, who comes out to complain that “politics in the back” have kept him from wrestling Hulk Hogan. This promo is interrupted by Sting, who comes out and offers Bret a world title shot, but not before saying, “I got your legacy right here” and doing a crotch chop. 

There’s a two-minute match between Disco Inferno and Vampire that ends with Disco getting a clean pin, then getting attacked by Lash Laroux. Heenan and Schiavone are on commentary and this is still definitively a wrestling show, but cracks are starting to show.

In the ring, there’s some kind of Nitro Girls competition happening, in which a new Nitro Girl will be chosen. The contestants are Chiquita and Stacy Keibler, and we see b-roll of them dancing suggestively. I think both ended up as Nitro Girls, but this segment is interrupted by Buff Bagwell, who comes out in a pair of overalls painted like a Kriss Kross video in 1990. He cuts a promo in which he repeats “Buff is the stuff” half a dozen times, dances awkwardly, and leaves. 

The Vince Russo Era has truly begun.

Some crowd signs: “No One Gives a Damn What the Rock Says”; “WWF = Wrestling White Trash Federation”; “Rey Misterio Bronco Buster ME”; “Rap is Crap!”; “Nash is God”; “Sid Fears the Spear”; “Sid Sucks”; “Velcro Despencers” [sic]; “Sid Your Next” [sic]; “Goldberg Philly is Next”; “Sting Rules”; “The Outsiders Are the Real Deal”; “Drunk 24:7″; “I See Dead People”; “Stone Cold Smokes the Pole”; “Hogan = Homo”; “Jebroni” [sic]; “Austin Sleeps With Sheep”; “Goldberg the Last True Hero”

Tag team championship match: Konnan and an unmasked Rey Misterio Jr. vs champs Harlem Heat. There’s decent wrestling, with Rey in particular hitting a beeyootiful  springboard moonsault, but Vince and Ed cannot abide a mere wrestling match, so Eddie Guerrero, Billy Kidman, and Torrie Wilson come out to talk on commentary for some reason. No one is calling the match, but it’s good. Rey looks like a child without his mask. Actually, with the dyed blonde hair, he looks exactly like his son, Dominic, whose custody he would later battle for in a ladder match. Stevie Ray hits the slowest, sloppiest power slam I have ever seen in a professional wrestling match. Eddie and Kidman interfere, then Rey and Konnan cheat to win the titles. NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPS. This is fine. The Filthy Animals were supposed to be cheating heels.

Kimberly Page is looking for someone backstage and is talking flirtatiously to David Flair, a man who does not want to be on television. It’s incredible how poorly suited he was for this. “David Flair looks like some guy they pulled out of the audience, like he’s shocked to be there,” Joe notes. “Like some college guy who just got out of a party.” Not since Mike Von Erich has a member of a wrestling family been so visibly unsuited for wrestling.

HELL YES. IT’S MENG TIME. Meng is wrestling Bill DeMott, who is still in his Hugh Morrus persona, but now he’s SERIOUS and Jimmy Hart is his manager. Morrus headbutts Meng, which is a bad choice. As the match proceeds, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash walk down the arena steps, so the entire crowd stops paying attention to what’s happening the ring. This is a hallmark of Vince Russo’s philosophy: just constantly have things interrupted by other things. Meng wins with the Tongan Death Grip, but the crowd doesn’t care. Hall and Nash are sitting ringside with two women Heenan describes as “beautiful dolls.”

Sid comes out to the ring and then calls his “attorneys” to join him. The crowd boos the attorneys. The crowd chants “Goldberg” while Sid uncorks a Vintage. Halting. Promo. With. Lots. Of. Jumbled. Shouting. “I. Am. A. Man. Of. My. Word. I. Am. A. Man. Of. Integrity” Sid says, a sentiment that many 21st century indie promoters will have reason to dispute. Goldberg runs out and absolutely flattens one of the actors playing a lawyer. Just fucking kills the guy. Sid lays Goldberg out with a kick and then power bombs him. The crowd is livid. This is a good setup for Halloween Havoc, because people are booing the heel and want to see him get his ass kicked. This is good wrestling booking. I can give credit where it’s due.

At ringside, Hall and Nash are laughing at Goldberg, who mushes them both. There’s a pull apart. Someone in the crowd throws a roll of toilet paper, because hey, Philadelphia. The Outsiders are led from the arena by security. A fresh-faced kid of perhaps 13 runs down to try and get Hall and Nash to Too Sweet him; a 1999 Internet fan. We watch a long tracking shot of Hall and Nash being led through the Spectrum, or whatever the Philly arena was called at this point. It’s almost artistic it’s so tedious. JJ Dillon appears for a split second, looking like a man who is rethinking the last 18 months of his decisions.

Backstage, Mike Tenay interviews Bret Hart, who cuts a good, standard wrestling promo, although he keeps calling the company “the WCW.” The interview is interrupted by Sting jumping Hart in the locker room, which is badly out of character. 

Now Berlyn comes out with his bodyguard, The Wall. Get it? Beryln and the Wall? God, was anyone in WCW more ill-served by the writers than Alex Wright? He was a good wrestler with a good look, who was given absolutely nothing to work with. Come to think of it, that also describes Brad Armstrong. Tonight, Berlyn will be wrestling the Dogface Gremlin himself, Rick Steiner, who looks as excited to be here as someone attending family court. It’s weirdly compelling how little Rick Steiner cares about this match. Why should he care? This match is going to be interrupted, and it is, by Brad Armstrong! Speak of the devil. Jesus, poor Brad Armstrong. He hates Berlyn, but his interference accidentally costs Steiner the match, and Steiner beats up Armstrong with a lazy, unhurried disinterest. 

We’re back in the bowels of the Spectrum, where Hall and Nash have sneaked back in. They wander around looking for Goldberg. They’re good at sneaking, what with this camera crew following them.

Now we’re at a hotel, and Kimberly page comes inside and then disrobes to a one-piece lingerie set. Instead of DDP, though, Ric Flair jumps out of the bathroom and tells Kimberly, “Tonight you gonna get the 14-time spanking your daddy shoulda given you a long time ago.” 

Now we’re backstage, and Goldberg, prowling the Spectrum, lays out Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope from Insane Clown Posse, which, as Joe notes, gets the biggest pop of the night. 

Now we’re at a different part of the backstage area, and Lex Luger and Miss Elizabeth are being interviewed, the knowledge we have now making this hard to watch. Lex cuts a halting, awkward promo about how he is, indeed, the total package. 

David Flair comes out in his father’s robe, to his father’s music, with all the pomp and circumstance of an unemployed guy walking outside to get the mail. He’ll be wrestling Billy Kidman, who comes out with Torrie Wilson. Four years after this, they would be married. The crowd hates David Flair’s awkward offense so much. Flair sucks so bad at this. Flair does sell the Shooting Star Press convincingly, probably because he was legitimately terrified and hurt by it. Kidman wins, and the Filthy animals come out to beat on Flair. Wikipedia tells me David Flair never wanted to be a wrestler, which sounds about right. 

Now we’re backstage for the Hall and Nash Snoop Hour. They run into Gene Okerlund, who looks bored and disgusted. 

Now we’re backstage, but in a different part, and Ric Flair is here, presumably having had sex with Kimberly Page despite her original desire to have sex with her husband. When I was growing up I had an issue of Playboy with Kimberly Page in it, which was a revelation for a WWF fan like myself. 

Now we’ve got an evening gown match featuring Mona - better known as Molly Holly - and Madusa, who is disgusted by the stipulation AND THAT’S PROBABLY A SHOOT BROTHER. This starts off fast, with some actual wrestling and some crisp suplexes from both women. “The last time I saw two women in dresses fighting like that was at Bloomingdale’s at the end of the month sale,” Brain says, beaming in from 1964. Madusa takes out the ref with a missed kick and then hits a beautiful suplex on Mona. Mona sneaks up from behind and pulls Madusa’s dress off. The crowd boos. None of us wanted this. Madusa gets the mic to cut a promo, saying everyone can kiss her ass. 

Backstage. Sting is pacing back and forth. Bret is heading out to the ring. Hart, maybe the best pure wrestler of his generation, was so badly misused by WCW. It’s really a phenomenal story. How could you screw something like this up? But they did. Oh, boy, did they. 

People love Sting, and at this point they still love Bret, so this match is a dumb idea. In retrospect it seems insane that they had this match, with no buildup, on an episode of free TV, but that was kind of common in this era, in both companies. The match begins as a leisurely paced brawl until Bret gets the upper hand by getting the knees up to stuff the Vader Bomb, or whatever it was called when Sting did it. Bret takes over for a while, then Sting reverses an Irish whip and gets a Stinger Splash to get the upper hand. Nick Patrick is the referee, and is not wearing a belt. Is that common? It looks weird. How are you holding up your sensible black trousers, Nick Patrick? The crowd is firmly behind Sting, who hits the elbow drop and does that thing where he cups his hands over his mouth and yells. I would describe this match as Perfectly Fine. It’s a rung or three below what these guys are capable of, but it’s not bad. Bret hits an absolutely filthy piledriver, but Sting kicks out. Hart teases the Sharpshooter but doesn’t give the crowd what they want. After some futzing around, he finally locks it in, but Sting grabs the rope. Sting is selling the effect of the Sharpshooter very well, trying to get Hart up for a bodyslam but having his leg give out under him. Oh boy, an interruption: Miss Elizabeth comes out to the ring for some reason, followed shortly by a bat-wielding Lex Luger. Hart is forced to fight Luger and Hart. Luger hits Hart in the shin with a bat, enabling Sting to lock in the Scorpion Deathlock, to which Hart immediately taps out. That finish was not Perfectly Fine. 

Wait, that wasn’t the main event? We’re backstage. Ric is yelling at David Flair, who repeatedly mumbles “Billy Kidman beat me up.” It’s hard to believe these two men are related.

Backstage in a different part of the Spectrum. Hall and Nash are putting on lucha masks for some reason. They are still looking for Goldberg. 

We’re back to the ring, for La Parka. Have you heard that he’s having a career year in 2018? Well, in 1999, he was having the kind of year where he had to follow a 15-minute Bret Hart-Sting match by wrestling Buff Bagwell. The crowd is predictably dead. What would these men say if you told them that in less than 20 years, one would be a gigolo and the other would be having a career year in pro wrestling? They would probably correctly guess which one would be the gigolo. La Parka beats a visibly disinterested Buff with a roll-up. Then Buff gets on the headset and says, “Hey, Russo, did I do a good job for you? Who else is going to beat me? Why don’t you come out and beat me?” Then Jeff Jarrett, in a surprise arrival from WWF, runs out and kabongs Buff with a guitar shot. The crowd reacts at least. This was kind of a famous jump from WWF to WCW, after Jarrett held Vince up for a huge sum of money to drop the belt to Chyna after his contract expired. Jarrett grabs his dick, says, “You wanna talk about stroke, bitch?” and then walks to the back. This is painfully Russovian. 

After another painful Hall-Nash segment backstage, we’ve got Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Jr. vs. Perry Saturn in a three-way elimination match. Shane Douglas joins the commentary team and says he is “the guy that built Philadelphia and kept wrestling alive in this godforsaken city.” The crowd is oddly silent for a match featuring Perry Saturn. Saturn throws a beautiful array of suplays while the Guerreros bicker. Eddie suplexes Chavo outside the damn ring, a crazy bump. This is a good match. The crowd is totally bored, or maybe exhausted. On the hard camera side, two guys dressed like Hulk Hogan who been doing wacky dances all night sit down immediately when a leathery Philadelphia Guido comes over and visibly motherfucks them, jabbing his finger and yelling. Good for you, Guy Who Makes Me Think of Frank Rizzo, those guys were awful. We need an interruption, so the Filthy Animals come down for some reason. They beat up Saturn while Douglas, who has an arm in a cast, rages. “It’s a damn conspiracy here!” he yells. Eddie hits the frog splash on Saturn for the pin, and then Chavo Jr. hits a tornado DDT on his uncle to win. The crowd is confused and angry. The Filthy Animals storm the ring and beat up Chavo. No one cares. 

God, is there more to this episode? We are exhausted. It feels like we started watching this five hours ago. 

Oh God, Horace Hogan in a hardcore match? A WCW hardcore match in Philadelphia when ECW was still a living proposition. It’s going to be Horace vs. Norman Smiley. One of the Hogan impersonators is dancing again. Where is Frank Rizzo Guy when we need him? This match is boring and bad. Horace sets up a table and goes through it. Norman wins. No one cares.

WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END? Flair comes down to the ring. Ric, not David. Who cares where David is. Flair makes a somewhat tortuous analogy between himself and Bobby Clarke, the great thuggish Philadelphia Flyer from the 1970s. He talks about having sex with Kimberly Page earlier in the night. He compares his son, David, to Eric Lindros. A lot of hockey talk tonight. Flair says he drank the Guerrero Brothers under the table in every bar from Mexico to Philadelphia, a plausible claim. The Filthy Animals come out and beat on Flair, which the crowd hates. David runs out to help his dad, and also gets beat on. Rey Misterio hits the bronco buster on Ric Flair. Konnan rips off Flair’s shirt and takes his wallet. The Filthy Animals take Flair’s jewelry. “Well, it’s Philadelphia,” Heenan notes. 

Lex Luger stumbles on Miss Elizabeth, laid out in the women’s locker room, a broken guitar laying near her head. ELIAS? WAS THAT YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH??

Goldberg comes to the ring, accompanied by security guards, while the crowd chants for him. One of the all-time greatest entrances in wrestling history. Somehow, this - Goldberg vs. Lex - is the main event, rather than Sting vs. Bret Hart. Goldberg runs outside the ring to start the match on the entrance ramp. Big “Goldberg” chants. This match is already way too long for a Goldberg match. Waaaaay too long. The Outsiders wander out from the back. “The fight goes on and on,” Tony says, summing up this whole ordeal. Now Sting runs out of the back for some reason and hits Goldberg with a baseball bat. The crowd boos. Now Bret Hart runs out of the back and starts beating up Sting. This is such a disaster. The crowd is pelting the ring with cups of soda. Goldberg spears Lex Luger and wins. 

Grade: Pot Roast That Has Been Left In The Sun For Days.

#Nitromare #WCW #1990s wrestling

[barbosaasouza]

Do We Need 4K Nipples?

My dad always says, “Who cares about nipples? You see one and you’ve seen ‘em both.” In the history of hot takes, my dad’s is not exactly a scorcher, but is he wrong? Going by the apparent amount of developer attention paid to the nipples owned by Kratos, protagonist of the new God of War for PS4, I’d have to say that at least someone out there is all about the nips. While the sight of Kratos’ nips puckering through the frigid Scandinavian landscape might have gone unnoticed by the casuals, it was never gonna slip past the eagle-eyed Shacknews staff. After the game was first unveiled at E3 2016, the staff here compared the notes we scribbled on our legal pads. Everyone’s page was just the word “nipples” with three or more underlines. Clearly, some folks put more value on the nipple than others, but do video game nipples even need to be this detailed?

Before we can really start milking this topic dry, I feel that it’s important to take a gander at the lineage of video game nips that led us to this point. There are obviously a few examples that really poke out in my mind, starting with Custer’s Revenge, a tasteless rape simulator for the Atari 2600. Due to the lack of graphical fidelity, the nipples were made up of a single, crude pixel, but it was nonetheless a seed from which other computerized nipples would grow.

As technology improved, the video game interpretation of the nipple improved alongside it. Tossing aside games made purely for pornographic reasons, nudity of any type was rare for the earliest generations of video games and even shirtless males often failed to have nipple representation due to technical limitations. Even some of the most famous early-90s depictions of shirtless guys (Street Fighter II for example) failed to include even a single pink or brown pixel nip. Not until Mortal Kombat popularized using digitized graphical representations of people (and unleashed Goro onto the world) did we get a good look at some man nips. This type of representation was fully realized by WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game in late 1995, with the sumo wrestler Yokozuna sporting some top-shelf brown nips.

Early 1996 rolled around and the gaming world got its first glimpse of what would become some of the most iconic nips in cyber history. Duke Nukem 3D was revolutionary in many ways, but the adolescent male audience that the game was targeted at will never forget approaching one of the game’s strippers, tapping the spacebar, and receiving a quick flash. These nips were tassled (possibly a video game first as well), but were as real as things got in 1996.

The late 1990s and early 2000s represented a boom period in video game technological advancement. As the power and capability of design tools increased, so did the evolution of the cyber nipple. Virtually all fighting games, wrestling games, action games, RPGs, and more featured shirtless men and some sort of nipple representation. While his nipples were merely implied in the original arcade version of Street Fighter II, Zangief’s suckle knuckles were on full display by the time Street Fighter Alpha 3 hit the streets.

Not until the arrival of the Xbox 360 and PS3 did the graphical fidelity in games reach a point where properly modeling a titty and nipple became a legitimate concern (or goal) for developers. The standout nipple of this generation clearly goes to Dante’s Inferno, an action-adventure game from Visceral Games and EA. In the game, the player must progress through the 9 circles of hell, one of which is Lust. Lust concludes with a boss battle against Cleopatra, who ends up towering over the player with her big, veiny shirt potatoes on display. The nips are out in full force and directly affect gameplay. Cleopatra has handfuls of baby enemies that sprout directly from her Hershey kisses and attempt to kill the player. For those who have not seen this, I suggest you Google it.

The 8th generation of consoles, ushered in by the PS4 and Xbox One, have given way to ridiculously detailed character models and graphical effects that can accentuate the progress made towards photorealism. A recent highlight in videogame nipple tech was seen in 2015’s The Witcher 3, as players will nonstop looks at the nipples of protagonist Geralt of Rivea and the countless denizens of Redania that he porks in cabins, the woods, and on the backs of unicorns. The texture work on these nipples was state of the art at the time, working within the game’s lighting system to provide the first convincingly lifelike representation of Geralt’s chest grapes.

If you think that attention paid to video game nipples is solely constrained to mature or adult-themed games, you’d be dead wrong. One need only look as far back as 2017 to find that latest legitimate video game nipple craze. Nintendo’s timeless mascot Mario made waves online when the company published screenshots of a shirtless Mario ahead of the release of Super Mario Odyssey. For over twenty-five years, the italian plumber was tethered to his iconic overalls, but the technological marvel that is Nintendo’s Switch handheld and Mario’s visit to the Seaside Kingdom prompted the shift to a set of dapper trunks and a bare chest. The sight of Mario’s nips literally drove the internet into a frenzy, forcing Nintendo to comment on the Italian chest pepperoni.

This brings us to God of War. Set for release later this week on April 20, the game represents a new high water mark for graphical fidelity on Sony’s PS4 console. Protagonist Kratos is so ridiculously detailed from head to toe that he might possibly be the best looking character in a video game, ever. His clothing, hair, and skin are as good as it gets with real-time rendering. It took a large team years to whip him into shape and there was certainly a lot of time dedicated to his nipples. The PS4 Pro can output God of War at a checkerboarded 4K resolution, giving users with high-res displays a “you are there” glimpse of Kratos’ glass cutters.

Wow. These things are definitely next-gen and they appear to react to various intensities of light, with the nubs casting a shadow over the Ghost of Sparta’s areolas. The eagle-eyed observers will even see that Kratos has goosebumps (or are those Montgomery glands?) on and around his areola. What a time to be alive! Did these nipples need this level of detail? That’s hard to say. Do they serve any purpose to the narrative or gameplay? No, but they could certainly help titilate players who are in that sort of thing (we don’t kink shame at Shacknews). Do I need to clear my browser history and go outside? Yeah, probably.

Stay tuned to Shacknews for more nipple talk. Next time, we will be taking an in depth look at what Hideo Kojima has in store for us when he makes a star out of Norman Reedus’ nipples in Death Stranding!

Do We Need 4K Nipples? published first on https://superworldrom.tumblr.com/