#theyre just like God I wish that were Me

[viveela]

While talking to my friend I thought about whether the turtles would have body dysphoria looking at their own species since they were meant to just be regular turtles before getting mutated and well I had to be silly about it

#veearts #rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #save rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #leo tmnt #leonardo hamato #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise of tmnt #Leo looks at anything w regular slider turts and just evaporates #same w the others #theyre just like God I wish that were Me #but they also like being unique it's complicated #meme art #fan art #rottmnt fanart

[fluxydrawings]

slightly late bday present for @parasiteking <33 freshberry is real actually

#my art #fanart #utmv #fresh sans #swap sans #freshberry #sanscest #i love rarepairs theyre so fun #this was rlly fun ta draw <33 i like how it came out alot :) #its just me and my crayon brush against the world #god i wish fresh's shoes were real. id wear them in an insant #mmm colours #also i dont know what a queue is so yallre gettin span art posts 👍 appriciate them

[mxdotpng]

the progression of events in this arc is so so good and great and i love how you can just clearly see where and how each characters thoughts begin and progress throughout each chapter as it goes on. while steven was probably set in stone about his view on how to handle the situation i earnestly believe zed and zapp set out to disobey steven's request. and then they make it very easy to understand leo's point of view and why hes doing what he is - its why they show us that flashback and don't tell anyone else, and why he speaks very little after zapp threatens him - and then immediately cuts to klaus, who knows absolutely nothing about the situation currently but he can figure it out just by looking at whats in front of him. and because klaus is so unflinching when it comes to upholding what he believes is morally right he does so without anyone needing to tell him whats going on. he sees this percieved 'monster' protecting someone else and immediately goes to protect it, too. and even though a lot of them disagreed with each other at the beginning there is still the scene afterwards where they all come together to try and catch each other when they begin falling. i think nightow should pay me for what its done to my mental health

#.text #kekkai sensen #sorry this arc made me normal. #i love that panel with zed even if i cant stop laughing. hes a skater boy. SOOO funny #ddo you get it #not about skater boy zed about the other more dire thing happening in this post. FORGET about skater boy zed #im being miserable again. oh my god. kekkai sensen #i know nightow just loves to leave things as is like after it ends it ends but i wished i couldve seen the aftermath #like. what steven was thinking. what zapp and zed were thinking. klaus also he was like in prison for most of that #SOOO funny that he like. gets arrested at random unfairly. everything is pretty much fine. and then when he gets out #the city is on fire two of his coworkers are in the hospital chain is nowhere to be seen the prison has exploded #there are vampires on the loose femt is there for some reason and there is a 10 million dollar bounty on leo's head #klaus leaves for FIVE MINUTES and THIS happens #dude doesnt even like stop to think about it he immediately turns around and go. hummer. throw me as far as you can. #and then they did. #amazing. this is the best manga ever. #wow ive gotten off topic sorry. anyway #i added that giant paragraph of text after all of these tags sorry guys i know im annoying and saying things that were probably #said 5 years ago but um. im late to the party. and i dont know how to shut up. so you have to deal with it #also i included the panel with neji and riel because i think it says so much. that theyre the ones saying this. #neji doesnt even remember leo almost getting his head bashed in just in the off chance that it could save his life and still he Knows #like they know more than anyone probably how leo sacrifices everything he has for the people around him #and i like that nightow included them in something so important and so defining of his character. #they appear once. twice. so little. but theyre integral to how hes percieved by others and by us. #anyway. kkss is good. #this post happened because i'm trying to draw and needed references but my kkss folder is 900+ images #and i got distracted by these pages in there #because i couldnt resist rereading them #if i could add more than 10 images id also add the like 3 pages of them falling and trying to catch each other at the end #but. alas. woah i ran out of tags bye everyone. thanks or sorry if you read all of this

[todayisafridaynight]

i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it

#snap chats #being without my computer charger has been maddening #that makes me sound terminally online and its because i am. its also cause all i ever wanna do is draw :(( #AND I ESP WANNA WORK ON MY COMMS NOOOOO FUCK #i mean i was at least able to read through yakuza’s bias vol 2… so theres that… #MY SCHOOL STORE DIDNT HAVE LAPTOP CHARGERS i had to order one… hopefully it gets here Overnight like i asked….. if not ill kill #anyway. daigo plushie so cute :(((((((((((((((( #mine cute too but theres just something especially squeezeable about daigo #alas.. thats what the aoki plush’ll be for. my personal stress toy ☠️☠️☠️☠️ #lowkey i wish i also got ichi but then i remenbee they made him pale as all hell and Yeah Im Not Putting Money To That #THE SMALLEST BIT OF A TAN I BEG YOU RGG WHY IS HE SO PALE IT DONT LOOK RIIIIGHT :(((( #anyway.. i have my last class in half an hour… lemme drink this tea… #also Lowkey obsessed with my outfit today.. its that butterfly shirt + gold accessories since theyre monarch butterflies #tho Lowkey 2x the black and yellow remind me of the watase blokes from gaiden…… wack….. #ok bye its tea time #help one of my roommates just came home and she just announces like. ‘man those edibles were. OUGH’ #calling my dad to pick me up nooo im a lame straight edge dont talk about drugs around me ill scream and cry LMAO #ok im done byebye lemme drink this good god

[kulliare]

yippeeee the dices

#this dice collection is so pretty but i’m giving most of it to my friends… #ive been playing dnd or pathfinder with this group for literal years and i’ve like spent so much time with them LOL #and i’m finally seeing some of them this summer #so this is the gift. i still have to get a set for the dm but like i think i’ve already spent ~200 on the dice here so im like oh my god #but im like fuck it lmao they have given me so much happiness lol 😭 #also since im already typing i was listening to one of the celebs from my hometown and sometimes it hits me how strange it is #tht i am vaguely interested in this man even though i literally like saw him for 5 seconds #he is like so incredibly famous #i know like 90% of people experience this but it does annoy me so much that i treat famous ppl diff in my brain differently even tho ik #they just want to be treated like normal people lmao 😭 #i think its bc my brain goes ‘oh theyre so loved i wish that were me!’ even tho theyre not really experiencing love #w the masses of ppl online #i have a headache from all the plum wine i drank but plum wine is soooo tasty guys #idk what they put in it #probably plum but wow it is so good. lol 😭 #i think i will let this headache go away for a little and then go to bed. gn everyone 🐈🐈

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

ik realistically i never got a lot of love for jensen and bryce bc oh my god a queer pairing of color?????? fucking tragic i know but also i like to pretend its just bc they are too complex for the mere cishet choices player to understand 😌 

#no bc fr otherwise ill just be sad :') #on one hand i love laying everything on the line from day one #my first fic was a demiro bryce fic which scared off all the bryce romancers bc god forbid i go against the general consensus hc #and like sure i dont want them there if they cant appreciate or try to understand other hcs #but on the other hand like how fucking disappointing is that??? #like its just so fucking tragic #this fandom is such a non queer friendly place #and not usually in the literal bright red im queerphobic way #but in the small ways that are so obvious #to queer people but maybe not the rest #and idk i just.. miss a lot of the people that were here when i started ig?? #like ik im the one who bothered to stay this long but also like i just want people to enjoy media/hc bc theyre good??? #like not bc they fit a trope you like?? #idk im just wishing for something that isnt a thing here #and i Know it #but still #to have friends who love the characters i do would be so nice #just to gush about them yk #but the second i came here with a different hc it immediately set me too far apart from everyone else #and on one hand i Am annoyed #but on the other i just ignore it bc if i paid attention to it i might rip somebody's arm off #n e ways that was a nice mj ramble for you all youll never get it again

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#my therapist teaching me a mindfulness technique: so what do u think? #me: this is like how vulcans deal with their emotions. they recognize them and set them side. acknowledge and accept #also i need to send these thoughts away on icebergs in the ocean instead of on clouds in the sky #its the exact opposite of what u were saying but i think abt the terror so god damn much its infected me down to the bone #literally anything she tells me i gotta b like: how can i either relate this to media or fold this into a metaphor? #bc i guess thats just how my brain works idk. #ugh. saw the psychologist and psychiatrist today and now theyre perscribing me ab1lify #hope it works. i dont have the perspiration in hands yet. i wish my brain would just b Normal #but i feel generally better than i did last week already #they think im sensitive to medication. either my body or my mind. ie. i freak myself out and my body reacts #so i convince myself im having a reaction. they haven't said that but im sure theyre thinking it bc im also thinking it lol #cant pin me down. my mind is too slippery #things i did not think would happen to me: a bip0lar diagnosis and prescription for anti psychotics #unrelated

[munamania]

so guys um. really fun update as a result of me once again being really good at understanding and responding to social situations. im pretty sure the friend im seeing is convinced we r like in a relationship or About to be and im just now realizing the extent of that and how quickly im slamming the brakes/going to attempt for smth more casual. um.. girl help

#soooo once again i hate gay people #abby talks #KIDDING. obvi. but um. some reflection has certainly been interesting. #like things got so intense so fast. why were they like telling people including a PROFESSOR about us going out on a single date #and when it initially happened i was just like well... idk shrug. and. yeah just all very fast #i think they had or have developed a serious crush which is like sweet and theyre still very sweet. its just very intense #like the amount they texted when i just didnt answer overnight.... #OH MY GOD and i forgot when i split from my friends last night im like 80% sure they were on campus #and tried to like hide their face. like... why. it doesnt have to be this odd huh??? #just cause i wasnt rlly answering while i was out? #idk. idk! #anyway im going to be very kind and respectful when we have this conversation but. yeah. nervy #wish i could do it over text but i dont think that's right idk... also we have so many mutual friends and just circles #i really dont need it to get weird. and it really really doesnt have to be yk. im hoping theyre chill and obv i dont want to hurt them #ok yeah doesnt help to stress so much over it. it's just creeping up on me the signs i sorta missed #thinking they also were open to smth casual. well i suppose really long dates and my general nerves abt trying to date again didnt help #oh my god when they said they missed my face after not hanging out for like. a day. and i was just like haha cool #not literally but LOL

[silverislander]

being on the internet is so fun. i can come watch one of my childhood heroes make a whole twitter thread cyberbullying random women she's never met, putting anyone who says that's kind of mean on blast and then blaming them for the hate she sent their way via her hundreds of thousands of radicalized followers!

#like. jesus fucking christ #i dont expect better from her but its so fucking sad at its core. its just fucking pathetic #and thinking abt what her work meant to me and how much i loved it? and what it got me through? #i was reading these books to escape being bullied for seven years on end they quite literally kept me alive sometimes as silly as that is #yeah they sucked in a lot of ways i didnt pick up on but they were really important to me as a kid! #i would like to at least look back on birthday parties and road trips going 'well that wasnt perfect but i had fun and now ive learned' #rather than 'god i wish i had never heard of that' #and now shes. doing almost the exact same thing those people did to me on a larger scale. basically for a living #if she knew me shed probably call me the same shit they did back then. how sad is that #levi.txt #i genuinely want to know if she knows who anita bryant is. and if she can name anything specific anita did before campaigns #but then shed probably think of her as a fucking hero too. no sense of irony in her body #i just feel so fucking awful for the poor women shes calling out in those april fools posts. i hope theyre doing ok #i hope they can get away from the harassment somehow bc ive heard abt how intense it can be when it comes from her #and i hope they know theyre better women than shell ever be. its such a deeply mean spirited 'joke'

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

obsessed with people who somehow live their lives entirely ignorant of the englishspeaking internet. im watching dutch booktubers barely 6 months ago ENTHUSIASTICALLY recommend harry potter. no mention of Anything At All. just,,,"we all know this one right?? :D" we sure do! WE SURE DO DONT WE

#and theyre not like Entirely ignorant of the english internet bc they read like english books #that are popular on booktube booktok whatever right? #theyre youtubers theyre ON the internet #but i dont think these people are transphobic #i think they are just not in the fucking sauce #GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME #can you imagine living in a world where harry potter is not a box of gunpowder #in TWENTY TWENTY TWO #been listening to a podcast abt uhhh The Whole Thing #very interesting pretty good podcast #but it's such emotional whiplash to have been listening to that this week and then just. fall into a video where. like. #they dont even mention the name of the author it's. incredible #it's surreal #i need to get off the english internet so fucking bad #if it sucks hit da bricks im gOING #not like today but.soon. SOON

[justablah56]

that moment when you think about a friend you haven't seen in 2 years and you realize wow the attachment issues are strong with this one

#just blahs #kinda rant/vent in the tags bcs i feel like maybe writing it out will make me feel better but making it as a part of the post seems too much #anyways lmao #said friend was basically my first real friend that i can actually remember and we were literally inseperable for the like . 2 years we had #but then they had to move away #and yeah i technically still have their discord and i can (do) message them every once in a while #but like . im constantly worried that maybe they wish i just stopped #Im always the one to reach out to them first mostly because like every once in a while i literally just sit and cry bcs i miss them #and i have no idea if they miss me too #because they were literally such a vital part of my life but maybe i wasn't as vital in theirs #maybe one day ill actually talk to them about all this #maybe some day I'll tell them that i have a playlist dedicated to them that i listen to sometimes when i miss them and want to cry #maybe some day I'll tell them that i still always sleep with the little plushy they gave me the day before they left #maybe some day I'll tell them how much i want them back and if maybe . just *maybe* they want me back #or maybe some day they'll tell me they've moved on and that i can stop checking in on them every few months #maybe theyll tell me that its weird that i *havent* moved on #because its been two god fucking damn years #thats plenty of time for me to just forget about them and move the fuck on . #its not like i don't have new close friends anymore . bcs i do . but theyre not *them* #i just want to know if they miss me even just a bit as much as i miss them #i need to know . #idk #i really shouldn't be allowed to stay up until almost 4 am lmao #anyways . might delete this in the morning we'll see #I'm just in a missing them mood rn im fine

[boxwinebaddie]

im sorry you’re so worn out from your job </3 if it makes you feel better im a senior in hs and am also severely depressed and struggling!! so we’re both just having sm fun rn :)

awww, my love!!! :( i am ALSO so sorry you're having a rough time.

seriously: high school is hell school. but ur almost there at least!! <3

and that's the thing i guess, is i totally get it, you know? high school sucks and its super hard and SUPER stressful! getting all your homework done, parental pressures/not having positive adult influences ( which is why i try really hard to be one but!!! haha!! crying <3 ), figuring out what you want to do after hs, and...oh my god??? i can't even imagine how awful it must be to be in school w/ all the new social medias, like i would be crying every other day bc of cyberbullying/how you are perceived online/that level of anxiety.

( all i know is that even without the feeling that people/my peers are talking behind my back, being perceived online made me v unwell )

but for me, at least, i try to be as kind and gentle as possible w/ those students bc i know how horrible being in high school is...which is why its heartbreaking & pretty humiliating for me to b that vulnerable and just get none of that back at all? </3 but then, teaching is a thankless job. it pays dirt and its a lot of work. it is, however, worth it to me, to get regularly disrespected doing my job...bc i care a lot about kids getting the education they deserve in an environment that is safe and respects them...even if they don't respect me...like literally at all. yay :)

but enough of me bellyaching ( i'm not that girl i promise ), there is always a silver lining, my peach. i did...roll up to help the lil people w/ their backpacks and getting on their bus with my eyes all puffy and mascara busted up from crying and i got soooo many hugs <3 a girl gave me a cookie from her lunch...she is absolutely seeing heaven.

and you will too, my dear! you are much stronger than i. being a hser is Also a thankless job that you unfortunately, do not get paid for. and i am v sorry for that. but its my hope that you heal, my dear darling. and know that if you are struggling, you are always welcome in my box, which is the same thing i tell all of my students, i am here to support you. <3 i am not just a fanfic writer, but a warm presence?

i sincerely hope so at least...idk i'm trying my best. thank you for your kind message, i really needed it...i was not doing very well, lol. ;-;

-real crybaby fake teacher uncle nina <3

#this was seriously so kind #thank you thank you thank you #literally hs sucks dude!!! its rough!! i just wish my students would return some of the kind energy im putting out & maybe not roast me #but like...either way...i love them and i care abt them so much like every single one even the kids that are mean to me #bc they deserve to have someone in their corner...even if theyre not in mine id rather make their lives easy even if it makes mine hard </3 #and thats whats depressing tbh is not bc i dont care but bc i care very much and none of that comes back but again! its ok its my passion #i'm sorry ur going through it tho darling high school was very hard for me too there is so much on ur plate #just take it easy -- which is easier said than done but all i can say is that if you need help please ask my love #even if its from me which x2...clearly im not very good at my job but i will always listen and support u all no matter what #if ur going thru it please keep going and know im in ur corner #i am extremely proud of you and i am so happy you were born #as a small request tho uh if u see someone like me wandering around ur hell school getting their shit kicked in #please be nice to them for me bc wooooow when i tell u i cried so much my chest still hurts whEW!!!! thank god im going home to see my cat

[administer-distractions]

.

#does it make me a bad teacher if i wished that i could rearrange the schedule so the students that were easier to teach came last in the day #its just #its not that i dont want to teach these other students its just that #its really hard to try to keep their fragile confidence from shattering while also having to tell them what theyre doing wrong #and often its the same thing over and over #so i have to figure out twenty different ways to say please for the love of god child open your mouth when you sing #i just want to do those first when im still like happy and energetic and not waiting for the day to be over #theyre not even really my students #im just subbing for the voice teacher whos on maternity leave #so theres the added stress of like #all the ones that struggle more are the ones who also dont already know me #its hard when one of your biggest issues is confidence and suddenly you have to sing in front of this brand new person whos going to judge u #i love teaching voice i wish i could do it more if only i wasnt so busy doing other things usually #but i do not enjoy subbing

[p33p33p00p00]

fucked up in the. my bedroom. thinking about how most of my time spent with my father was broadcasted onto facebook without my permission and every adult in my life encouraged this behavior by sending him pictures of me to specifically put on facebook

#like yeah sure he was proud of me but i am so fucking uncomfortable with the fact that pictures of me are just. there. theyre out there #without my permission and yes i can just report the accounts because hes DEAD and i have done so before but it still fucking hurts #to know that your father never cared about your privacy to the point he would post pictures anyways even if you told him not to #to be fair my grandma and mom were/are the same way but like. god i just wish i had a fucking say in it #good lird

[the-trans-dragon]

Rendered inert by the crushing of fear of doing things with mediocre skills rather than with precise perfection and efficiency -> Rendered inert hesitant by the realization that I am being Very Visibly Autistic by doing things with precise perfection and efficiency -> just accepting that everyone is looking at me and thinking "oh my god, I didn't know we had THAT kind of weirdo in our community. We need to make that kind of person illegal" which *isn't true* but it's way easier to cope with, than trying to to convince myself that most people are neutral and busy being the protagonist of their own lives and not thinking about writing a memoir titled "This Fucker Is Ruining My Life By Existing Near Me: Plotting Their Demise"

Haha sorry that was just gonna be silly and lighthearted but i lost my way and ended up in Brain Troubles Land <3

#sorenhoots #hm :) i was making good progress on my Social Fears until my state nefariously and purposefully wrote bills to make my wellbeing illegal. #god. i dont know why i keep forgetting they do that. like ive watched them do it to...well...people without citizenship. my state is Extra #Passionate about No Immigrants. >:( and i didnt *forget*... its just hard to make coffee or go buy water while actively *remembering* the #manmade horrors beyond my comprehension. and then its like 'you are being paranoid. not everyone in the store is wishing you were dead.' and #like. true! not everyone. but #someone might be. and it might be someone with the power to make it happen. i mean theres at least ONE person like that here. someone #wrote that bill. and okay maybe 80% of people are neutral about me and not actively wanting to illegalize my wellbeing. but *NEUTRAL* #people can be just as deadly. the neutral people wont fight for me. and so i guess i KNOW that 'not everyone in the grocery store feels #self-righteous disgust at my existence' but it feels like it doesnt matter. it feels like things would be the same even if they did. #neutrality feels like...exile. so maybe its just easier to say 'everytime i leave the house- someone makes me feel unsafe and like a plauge #of humanity' than to explain why neutral intentions hurt if they allow my rights to be taken. #pfff. if ONLY i was *just* a plague of humanity. my entire local society would accept me with open arms! theyd publicly shame anyone who #didnt support me! theyd FIGHT laws restricting my capacity to exist! #ugh. cmon brain. theres good stuff in thr world. look. a fucking flower. goddamn. that is a fucking good flower. im so glad to exist at the #same time as flowers. theyre pretty new! fairly recent #especially compared to photosynthesis or multicellular life. thanks for existing little flower.

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#sometimes i stumble across posts that are so vile about what has been done to palestinians that i dont. even want to reblog them #because its so vile and inhumaine and . no words sort of behavior that i dont want to b the reason someone has to read that #with their own two eyes #im nauseous straight up. poor little kid lord almighty this species. this fucking species #and its like...... we all Know anyone who follows me Knows so whats the point of knowing something so #specific and horrid 😔 #idk i guess its like how #sometimes i read about the cases of torture of sex trafficked balkan little girls and women and part of me wants to #post about it on here but its so horrific that i just. dont. want anyone else to see that shit #like to know specifics about the torture i just read abt #................. #:(((? #what a terrifying fucking species #humanity. capable of such immense beauty and love and empathy...... and such deep. deep. deep depravity that #we lack words in any language to even properly condemn it #. if the kids family is still alive inshallah i hope theyre..... god i dont even know.. i wish them all the strengh #because i dont know if 'alright' if something you can ever be after your kid is put through that. even if the occupation were to end