#this looks so bad on the app compared to my laptop but hopefully it still looks decent to others :')

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Capt. Syverson-Chapter One: Evaluation

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Shane Benton gets a new patient, veteran “Sy” Syverson. He’s one of the most complex cases she’s had, in more ways than one. She thinks he’s already starting to like her and what’s worse...she feels the same.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None, really, mentions of war and trauma and some hate on the Chicago Cubs, but like…it’s not MEAN! (I’m a Missouri girl, and for the purposes of this fic, Sy is a Missouri boy, and we will bleed for our sports teams. Lol!)

A/N: Inspired by this post right here, and hopefully turning into some splendid fluffy and smutty stuff for my lovely Cavillry babes all around including the two that essentially forced me into this. Lol! (I’m thinking I’ll have at least three or four more chapters.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3.

Tags: @onlyhenrys @cavillryarchive

Let me know if you wish to be added to the list! I’m happy to do it! 

Shane was working on her morning's notes as she scarfed down her lunch. So many hand's-on patients made for a busy so called "lunch hour." Time which their boss was always reminded them was only half for their personal use, and could be taken away if census demanded. She was pretty sure it wasn't legal to make such threats, but thankfully, the secretaries usually had the therapists backs.

As she typed, she got a notification in her messenger app.

Just a head's up, your 1:30 is such a major babe I could barely look at him while I checked him in, so good luck with that.

Heather, one of her best friends in the office, had warned her, as she always did when there was a potential problem with a patient.

Oh, and his KOOS score is 27.5! Yikes! Shit, she'd seen arthritic grandparents with better scores on that test, which essentially rated your ability with the affected knee. Ideal was 100. She pulled up his chart review to see what she was getting herself into with this guy.

Tricare insurance, so, a vet. And only a year older than she was, so, recent discharge, or even active duty. She pulled up his order…shit. Traumatic tear of the anterior cruciate ligament. With damage to the medial collateral ligament as well. And a patellar dislocation. Repairs had been done, but this guy was in bad shape. He was going to be coming a while.

She replied to Heather.

Damn, that's bad. I'm looking at his order, and I'm already thinking I'm gonna want to try to keep him on my schedule if we can. And three times a week. If not with me, Jordan, if he's got openings. Can you start working on that when you have time?

Sure thing…I think you'll be glad you kept him on your caseload once you get a look at his face…and like all of him. Even on crutches, he's tall as shit!

Heather, come on. I'm a professional. I have a doctorate ffs. Lol

You also have a uterus, to the best of my knowledge, and it's about to explode. Promise.

Haha, okay. I'll be out for Prince Charming in about ten. Lemme pop a breath mint and run a brush through my hair.

Good call.

Shane did just that, but still pulled her dark hair back into her customary functional high ponytail, made sure there was no stray food on her shirt, and headed out of her treatment room for her patient.

As she walked down the hall to the waiting area to get him, she noticed a slumped and bearded figure leaning forward on a set of crutches, a KC Chiefs baseball cap slipping up off of his forehead revealing short cropped dark hair. She smiled at his repping one of her home teams, and stepped up to him, greeting him warmly, but formally.

"Mr. Syverson?"

"Ma'am." he said, as he adjusted his cap and stood immediately at attention, still relying on the crutches, but making himself as tall as possible. He really was a soldier. Despite her proximity to Fort Leonard Wood here in St. Robert, Missouri, she didn't see many military men.

"Hi, My name is Shane. I'm a physical therapist. I'm going to be working with you today."

"Oh, okay. They told me my therapists name was Shane, I figured…"

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Don't worry, I act like one of the guys. You'll hardly notice."

"I doubt that." he muttered, but she ignored it. She didn't know which would be worse. Him being a macho chauvinist who couldn't deal with a female therapist, or having a crush on her and making things weird. She'd had both. And it never ended well for her.

"Well, let's go have a chat in the treatment room."

They walked toward the room she'd just left, and when they arrived, she asked him to set on her plinth mat.

"Could you please verify your date of birth for me? Gotta make sure I got the right patient in here."

"May the 5th, 1983."

"Thanks, and the last four of your social?"

He told her, quietly, and against her will, a shiver ran up her spine at the softness the bear of a man exhibited in his voice when trying to maintain privacy. But she kept her composure.

"Excellent." she began typing her eval note, and asking him questions. He began telling the harrowing story of the mission, the mission that effectively ended his career in the military as he knew it. At lest, what he could tell her. Obviously some of it was classified, but certain details she would need to know in order to know how he it and how to treat him. She could tell he was trying to hold it together. Reliving the trauma was probably triggering to an extent. Her heart went out for the broad-chested, blue-eyed man.

"God, that's incredible. The fact that you're alive is amazing, Mr. Syverson."

"I go by Sy, ma'am. And as aware as I am of that, it's tough to feel good about it when some friends in my squad weren't so lucky." he examined the pattern on the tile floor as he rubbed the heel of his hand against the wide thigh of his injured leg. A nervous habit, she presumed. She had similar quirks.

"That must be difficult for you." she knew she was getting off-track from what she needed for her SOAP note, but after all, he was going to be on her caseload exclusively for the foreseeable future. She'd have time to flesh out the goals and basically finish the eval next visit.

"Yeah, but I know there's a lotta guys' got it worse'n me, ma'am."  

"We think that should make it better, but it never does. And if I'm calling you 'Sy,' you have to cut the ma'am business. It's Shane, even to my patients." she smiled.

"Sorry, m--sorry. Habits die hard."

"Just like John McClean." she chuckled, not expecting him to get her ridiculous movie humor. But he laughed.

"Did you just make a Die Hard reference?" he smiled, and the sunshine of it paired with the stunning blue of his eyes nearly sent her flying into the wall. Thankfully, she had something to occupy her gaze in the form of her laptop, where she tried to document on him.

"Did you just get one of my movie references? Because nobody around here appreciates that I'm a total movie nerd. I'm wasted on these people."

"Ya know, maybe you're right about feeling like I'm getting PT from a guy." he chuckled.

"I told ya!" she laughed, but tried not to let her heart sink too far.

The evaluation continued with her doing strength and range of motion measurements on his knee. "Okay, push against my hand…now resist when I push…now bring your foot back against my hand…and resist when I pull." she did this with both sides to compare relative strength. "Great job. Okay, I'm going to see how much range you have in your knee. Lay back on the table for me, please." she thought she saw a flirty glint in his eye, but again, she ignored it. She had a job to do. And it was to hold this goniometer up to his knee and see how many degrees of flexion and extension this man had in the joint while trying not to think any salacious thoughts about the thigh connected to it.

"Okay, now, listen, Sy, I know it goes against your instinct, but I'm looking for pain-free range of motion, here, so don't be a hero. Don't move it farther than you can without hurting it. And let me know if it starts to hurt when I move it."

"Yes, ma'am." he winked.

"I'll let that one slide, I guess." she giggled. She concentrated on the numbers she was getting from the big protractor, and typing them into her eval, and not the man lying before her.

"Okay, I'm gonna get the other knee now to compare for goals."

He nodded.

"Were you pretty active before this happened?" she was more or less making small talk, as she could tell by the condition of the rest of his body that he was incredibly fit.

"Yes, m--yes, I was. We had a gym on base, nothin' like what y'all have here, just some machines and a few free weights."

"No bikes or treadmills or anything?" She herself liked the elliptical, but knew it was a considered more of a girl's machine in the gym world.

"Nah, with electric being spotty where we were stationed, we sorta had to…get creative, I guess you could say, for cardio." she let it slide, apparently there was an inside joke to which she wasn't privy.

"Right, understandable. Well, here, we don't have to get that creative. I'm gonna put you on some equipment gradually, and just warm up the knee, then get to work on joint mobilization and myofascial release. But at this point in Dr. Potter's protocol, he only wants gentle stretching and weight bearing as tolerated. We can start a bit of strengthening after next week."

"So, you think I'll be back to running anytime soon?"

"We can make that a goal, Sy, because I can absolutely get you there. But you're going to have to take it slow. You've got not one, but three major injuries we have to contend with, and there is major trauma in there. But it will heal. With time and effort. And like I said, don't be a hero. The number one rule of therapy is 'if it hurts, don't do it.'"

"I'll hold you to that, m--Shane."

"You're a quick study, Sy. I think you'll be alright. Looks like Heather's put some appointments in for you already. If any of them don't work, call us, and we'll try to get them swapped. I'd like to keep you on my schedule as much as possible, but if there's a conflict in your schedule, any of our therapists will be terrific. And I'll make sure they're looking at your chart and protocol thoroughly before seeing you."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Okay, I'm gonna print out your schedule for you, and a few exercise handouts I'd like you to work on, especially on days you don't come here. And I'll know if you don't do them, because you won't have improved…so, you better do them."

"Yes, ma'am." she half expected a salute. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, maybe I'll give you three strikes on the ma'am thing."

"Baseball fan, too?"

"Not that three strikes is so obscure that I'd have to be to know it, but, yes! Major St. Louis Cardinals fan."

"I knew I was gonna like you from the start. Although, being brought up 'round Kansas City m'self, I'm more of a Royals fan."

"Hey, only time I don't root for KC is when they're playing my Redbirds. And even if my team loses to them, it hurts less than if they lose to, say…the Cubs." they shared a scowl of disdain for the Chicago team. "Although, I was happy for them and their fans when they won the series back in 16."

"Yeah, I guess we could afford to let them win one in a hundred years…I'm hoping their next one comes long after I'm in the ground." he chuckled.

"Can't have them getting a big head, can we?"

"Nope! Sure can't!" they both laughed at their mutual interest in dissing rival sports teams.

"Okay, I'll be right back with those handouts." she ran to the office all in one machine to grab the papers she'd printed for him, making sure they were all his and not another patient's. She put them in one of their folders and headed back to her room where he sat on the mat, waiting for her with a smile under his rather impressive beard.

"Before I let you out of here, what questions can I answer for you about what we did today?"

"Oh, uh, nothing comes to mind. You explained everything really well. Did you look at my schedule? Am I with you all the time?"

"Hmm, let's see here, looks like the next two, yes, but I'm off next week, so Heather put you with Jordan, which is what I asked her to do. You two will work great together and he's got a great instinct for injuries like this. And I'll talk to him before I leave. He's one of the best PTAs I've ever worked with, I promise."

"I guess, if you have to take a vacation. I'll see you next time though."

"I'm looking forward to it. That's when the real work will begin, Sy. And our number is on in this paperwork if you have questions, and I've put my card in here, too." they shook hands, and he grabbed the folder from her.

She saw him out of the room and into the lobby. She'd finished with him a bit early, but her next one was already waiting. She needed a break. To collect herself. To breathe.

"Jason! Hey! Go on and get on the recumbent bike, level two. Ride until I get there. We'll get a lot done today if you're already warmed up. I've got a note to finish. And then I'll be in. I should be 15 or less."

While the 19 year old with a torn meniscus hopped to her instructions, she went back to her computer to attempt to finish Sy's eval and pretend that she didn't already have a serious and intense crush on him. This was going to be a long twelve weeks…at least.

Up Next: Chapter Two-Therapeutic Procedure

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc #netflix sand castle #sand castle

[kilyra]

Business as Usual

A/N: So, as much fun as I had with the first Huntress fic, I didn’t actually intend to carry on with it. But then this idea popped up and I’m not ready to be done with Birds of Prey in general, so here we are!

Turns out that not only is your boss into some bad stuff, some of the Birds of Prey suspect you’re in on it with him.

Warnings: Bad language, mention of porn, and angst. Sorry, no Harley Quinn. And like with Helena, I use Dinah’s name rather than Canary, but with Renee, I call her Montoya. It’s all I remember anyone calling her in the movie, so hopefully it’s not jarring.

If you want to be on my tag lists, (all or just a character) just let me know!

“So what are you saying?” Helena's icy tone greeted you as you opened the door.

“Just...okay, isn't it a little strange that the person you're dating turns out to be working for the man that everything keeps leading back to?” Immediately you recognized Dinah Lance's voice, strained as it was.

“Whoa, hey, things were...we had...things started well before we realized he was involved.”

“Yeah, before we realized he was involved. But maybe not before he realized we were looking into things.” Renee Montoya.

You weren't expecting anyone to be there, much less the entire team. And were they talking about you?

“Are you serious? Like he sent in a spy?” The disbelief was dripping from Helena's every word.

“I don't know...maybe? We just need to be careful who we trust right now is all...” Dinah hesitantly tried again.

Although your heart was trying to pound through your chest, you had to make yourself known. If they were talking about you, sneaking around would only make it worse. Clearing your throat, you came up the short hallway from the entrance. “Trust who?”

Helena stopped her pacing, spinning to face you as Dinah hopped up from her spot at the table and Montoya did the same, turning your direction.

Spreading your hands apart, you gestured behind you. “Whoa, I knocked okay?”

“And then just let yourself in?”

“Really, Helena, a key already?”

Montoya and Dinah blurted over each other. Helena's eyes narrowed as she shrugged at Dinah. That was all the answer she was going to give.  

The glare softened slightly when she turned to you. “Why are you back here already, I thought you were going in today?”

“I am, I just forgot my laptop,” you said, pointing to the end of the couch in the next room.

Following your gaze, Helena nodded at the laptop bag as an awkward hush fell over the room.

Sighing, you crossed your arms before one hand snaked nervously upward to squeeze the back of your neck. “So, you were talking about me. And what...my boss...?”

Settling back into her seat, Montoya's stare darted between the other two before dropping and staying on the table's surface. Dinah rubbed her arm and also avoided looking your direction.

Despite the smile she plastered on her face, there was heat to Helena's look as she tried to catch the gaze of either partner and was left on her own. Her nostrils flared as she kept the smile. “No, it's fine.”

Your hand dropped from your neck back to your elbow as you hugged yourself tighter. “Don't bullshit me, Hel. Did you seriously turn around and dig up dirt on McGrath?”

The smile dropped. “No, I swear. We were following other leads tha-”

“Hey, whoa!” Dinah spoke over Helena until she stopped.

Shaking her head, Montoya let her hand fall to the table. "Oh, so a key and knowing what we do? Wow.”

Before Helena could defend herself, you jumped in. “But seriously...McGrath? That just...it makes no sense.”

Tilting her head, Dinah watched you carefully. “Why do you say that?”

“Because...he's just...he's an asshole but not exactly some big mastermind.”

Turning toward you, Montoya took over. “And what sort of work do you do?”

A deep scowl immediately spread over Helena's features. “Seriously?”

Sliding into the free chair by Montoya and across from the other two, you waved Helena off. “No, it's fine. I have nothing to hide.”

Helena didn't look comforted in the least as she began shifting her weight between her feet. But she stayed quiet.

Rubbing your eyes, you turned back to the former detective. "We just design apps. I don't understand, so is he involved in some sort of...hacking...thing?"

“Mostly smuggling,” she said, almost dismissively. “Now, when you say apps, you mean...”

“Smuggling? How the hell would mid-range tech firm be involved with that?” Your pulse never really calmed down, but that bizarre fact forced a spike. Even your head throbbed.

But Montoya just watched you, her expression unchanged.

Realizing she wasn't going to answer that, you quickly replied. “M-mostly phone apps. Like for established companies that need to expand their platforms to stay relevant. Um...work out tracking apps to go with a gym membership, that sort of thing.”

Resting weight on her propped elbows, she let her shoulders relax as she leaned forward. It was a subtle shift but somehow you knew you were being interrogated. Period.

“And what do you do there, exactly?”

Helena's hand shot out like she could somehow shove the question back into Montoya's mouth. "Would you stop? You don't have to answer that, Y/n.”

“Hel. Seriously, stop. I'm a coder, that's it. If you guys are even suspecting I'm involved in anything, I want to clear my name. I mean, hell, my laptop is right there, crack it open and go through everything if you want.”

Dinah glanced over her shoulder, letting her gaze settle on the black bag. Without moving for it, she turned back to you. “Why? What's on there that would prove anything?”

“Everything. All the coding for my last few projects. So, proof of what I do, I guess? There’s also all my chat logs with McGrath that you can go through. I’m not in the office much, so that chat is a record of like 90% of anything we’ve ever said. Hell, you could even go through my browser history, look and see if I’ve been doing anything remotely suspicious online I-”

Quickly your mind skipped to all the sites you had recently visited and heat started pricking at your cheeks. But your pause caught everyone's attention. Feeling all the eyes on you, you forced yourself to finish. “You might want to ignore the history from two days ago but otherwise...”

“And why is that?” Montoya's eyes narrowed as she pounced.

Biting your lip, you pressed your knuckles against your mouth as your nerves knotted your stomach. “Porn.”

Montoya's face was unreadable, but Dinah's head bobbed slightly as her nose crinkled in surprise. Helena looked from you to Dinah, catching her reaction as a slow grin grew. Soon, she was beaming with a look of pride and let her gaze drop to the floor. Her soft chuckle made you cautiously smile.

Clearing her throat, Montoya let that go entirely. “Okay...you said you don't go into the office much. Why not?”

Blowing out a long exhale, you melted against the back of your chair, grateful to move on. "Oh, I hate it in there. They're into the open concept crap, so we're all in this big bullpen area. It's impossible to focus, but if I wear my headphones, I can't hear McGrath yelling for me to come into his office. I pretty much only go in when I have to meet with clients and otherwise work from home. Most of the team is the same, we work remotely as much as we can."

Mirroring you, Montoya sat back but never managed to pull off a relaxed look. “Of the times you have been there, do you see McGrath take meetings with other people?”

Dinah's eyebrow arched as Montoya’s gaze darted her direction. Helena's former grin had long since dropped, and her features grew stony with the question. The muscles along her jaw flexed as she watched Dinah pull out her phone.

Not that you understood the shift, but it was uncomfortable. "Uh...sure. The meeting rooms are almost always being used."

Snapping her attention back to you, Montoya's eyebrows creased together. “As in clients or...?”

“Sure, some of them. But sometimes people just want a consultation and don’t come back.”

"Is this one of the clients?" Leaning over the table, Dinah set her phone in front of you. A candid photo of a dark-haired man stared up at you. A man you immediately recognized.  

“Y-yeah, actually. He's come in a few times with some others guys.”

Continuing to scroll, it was obvious the pictures were taken covertly from a distance. And you recognized most of them. Not that you ever worked on their projects...

“You don't find it strange that they've been to your office repeatedly and you haven't done any work for them?” Montoya broke in.

Straightening, Dinah slid her phone back in her pocket and let her gaze trail to Helena. They shared a silent exchange that left Helena's knuckles white as she clenched her hands.

“No. I just...assumed someone else on the team was working on it.” There wasn't much confidence in your answer. You had assumed someone else was working with them, but now that you thought about it, McGrath was the only one to ever meet with them – none of the other techs ever in the meeting room.

But, instead of attacking the obvious moment of doubt, Montoya rapped her knuckles on the table and triumphantly turned to her partners. "Brilliant really. It's a legitimate business that's random enough to stop staff from being suspicious of who's coming and going. And if an employee did question anything, they're all kept so separate with projects and working from home, it's doubtful they'd actually compare notes anyhow. Meanwhile, McGrath is left with a mostly empty office for his cohorts. Hiding in plain sight."

Her switch threw you. “So...you believe me?”

“I do. You're either the liar to end all liars, or this is all news to you. I've got a connection at the station who can go through your laptop and check for spyware, but I've got all I need.”

Nodding, Dinah flipped her long hair over her shoulder as she gripped the back of the chair in front of her. “Okay, so now what?”

Pushing yourself to your feet, you glanced at the clock. “Well, if I'm in the clear, then I still have a meeting to get to this afternoon, I guess?”

“The hell you do,” Helena spat through grit teeth as she rounded the end of the table to block your exit.

Montoya had kept such a professional air about the chat, you didn't realize just how rattled she was. No one jumped in to smooth things over.

Trying to fight your suddenly dry mouth, you swallowed heavily. “I...I can't just not show up. I still have a job to do.”

“After everything we just laid out, you think I'm going to let you go back into that?” Her dark eyes bore into yours and you could see how deep her passion ran.

“This isn’t good, no. But...I mean it's just smuggling ri-”

“Sure, just smuggling if you don't count the trail of dead bodies left behind.” Helena openly glared at Montoya, daring her to argue. Or maybe angry that detail was left out.

Adrenaline coursed through you, leaving your hands shaking. Crossing your arms, you held your hands tight against your sides, trying to hide the rush of panic. Your voice was thin. “So what am I supposed to do? The job is real and at the end of the day, I still have a reputation to maintain in the field.”

Not attempting to get closer, Dinah's hand tightened around the back of the chair as she sighed. "Well, truth is, we could use someone on the inside."

“No.” Helena's dangerous glare shifted to Dinah.

Getting to her feet, Montoya moved next to Dinah and gathered her shoulders in a defeated shrug. “She's right, though. We won't let her do anything dangerous – just business as usual. But even a text when one of those men are in for a meeting would help.”

If you could, you would have turned back the clock and remembered your laptop in the morning just to avoid all of this. But you couldn't. You also couldn't unlearn what they told you about your boss. And you definitely couldn't turn a blind eye.

This new truth weaved through you, pushing you towards Helena as your hands dropped to your sides. As you drew closer to her, the faint scent of lavender and leather wrapped around your senses. “You hate it, I get that. I'm not thrilled either, but I'm in this now. If I bail, McGrath will be suspicious, and if he does have any spyware on my machine, I could be in serious trouble. But if I carry on like normal, then I won’t even be on his radar.”

Her face was a hardened statue as she stared you down. But you saw a flicker of desperation deep in her eyes. “No. I've got safe houses around the city – I can protect you.”

“And in the meantime, you guys keep hitting the same dead ends you're hitting now because I'm not in there to help.”

“But I can't protect you in there.”

For all her bluster, it was her fear at the core. The realization stabbed at you because you knew you were about to make it worse.

Reaching out, you grabbed her hands. They were cold. Firmly, you rubbed your thumbs along her chilled skin as you let out a steadying breath. “But...it's not your decision. It's mine. And I'm going in.”

Helena's face fell, giving you a final stab before she quickly smoothed her expression over. Jerking her hands away, she turned to the other two who had wisely stayed quiet. “Fuck you both. If anything happens-”

Her words caught in her throat. Turning on her heel, she stormed from the room, leaving a stunned silence in her place. Blinking rapidly, you tried to get rid of the stinging tears that threatened to form at the edge of your eyes.

Dinah lightly scratched her fingers across her forehead before blowing out a long exhale. In a few smooth steps, she retrieved your laptop and came over to you. Setting her hand on your shoulder, she gave you a quiet, concerned look. The same one Montoya gave from where she still stood.

Squeezing your shoulder, Dinah finally offered a quiet smile as she pushed the bag into your hands. “It's going to be okay. I promise.”

You didn't know which situation she meant, but either way, you weren't sure you believed her.  

Numbly nodding, you let your heavy feet lead you from the apartment. There was still a client meeting to deal with.

Business as usual, after all.

Taglist:  @foreverfaeries  @flower-two  @getlostinyourparadise​   @selfishkiddo @angelicshinigami  @parkersbabey  @kurreapormaranet  @hobiiwan  @emofairygay

#helena bertinelli x reader #huntress x reader #dinah lance x reader #renee montoya x reader #birds of prey

[wallstoothin]

A Bouquet Instead of a Goodbye

fixed up one of my fics

Akechi Goro’s body was eventually found, it was tucked away in some bush near the diet building. His eyes wide, broken, and very very dead. A proper autopsy showed a bullet hole on his forehead and a matching exit hole at the back of his head. There were also small cuts and bruises all over his body, their origin unknown. Some speculate that the detective was held hostage and eventually killed due to the lack of cooperation from the police department. Others said that it was from an old grudge from a case he did long ago. A situation like these happens in movies all the time. Who's to say it can’t happen in real life.

The one who found him was an ordinary gardener, the bush was growing wild and it was about the time to trim it. Based on the news the gardener ran all the way to the police station unable to utter a word and completely forgetting about the phone in his pocket, dragging the poor rookie all the way to the body. It was said by some sources that the young man almost threw up on the dead body.

The world mourned before they started pointing fingers because that’s what society does best. But the search for the culprit ended as soon as it started. His father, the disgraced politician  who had abandoned his son long before his birth, has admitted in prison that he had plans of killing him. The news ate it up. 

Akira found out from the comfort of his home, watching the evening news as he brushed Morgana’s hair. He could only stare at the dead body on the screen as his phone rang beside him. The news censoring the blood and gore as an announcer talked about Akechi. Later announcing that there would be a short thirty minutes special celebrating the life and accomplishment of Goro Akechi coming soon. There will also be a live funeral for him, his remains would be going under Shido’s family tomb for the sake of tradition. No one cared over the fact that it was Shido who ruined the young man’s life and set him up for a path of self destruction and ruins. And the fact that Akechi would most likely protest. But no one heard him, he’s dead after, and the dead don’t speak.

He can feel Morgana’s paws clawing at his shirt trying to get his attention, his phone just as whiny as his feline friend was also going off. Akira let out a sigh, reaching towards the remote and turning off the television with a small ‘click’ from the power button. He ignored Morgana’s questions of ‘Are you ok’ and the constant calls and messages from his friends. He stood up and brushed off any lingering cat hair that stuck to his pants and legs making a mental note of vacuuming sometime later before he get in trouble with his parents and head to his room.

He needs to do some research.

Akira has never attended a funeral before, he’s been invited to a few sometime during elementary and middle school but he never went. He wondered if his sister in heaven hates him for never going to hers. Akira also wonders what Akechi would think when he told Morgana and everyone else that he has no plan of turning into Akechi’s public funeral or when he decline the invitation Sae-san send him through email an hour after. 

That funeral is for the detective prince, a mask that Akechi wore in order to feel some semblance of love. But in the end that love was too distant for the dead man. Akira can see it right now, thousands of young girls watching as the black car pass by as they cry, some holding on to their handkerchief while others scream their confession out loud for the world but not Akechi to hear. Akira feels that he would not be able to stand going to a funeral like that. From what he heard, Haru and Futaba also decline going to the event. He hasn't heard from everybody else but he suspects that Ryuji might skip as well. 

He let out another tired sigh as he stared at his old laptop screen, he still had things to do. But at this rate he’ll be up all night. Akira can hear the rant Morgana have in store for him later but maybe if he play his card right he should be able to stay up late. He later watched Morgana eat his fatty tuna, his wallet clutch in his hand. His wallet was looking slightly lonelier but at least he got what he want.

A week passed and life went on as usual. The public forgot about the incident until the funeral where the name Akechi Goro is once again trending on the net. On the day of the funeral Akira left the house at five am, making sure to leave a note behind for Morgana to read. No need to leave anything for his parents. 

The walk from his house to the train station was long but he was unsure if the bus even operate at this time and like hell is he going to leave his bike near the station. Even in the city there are times where the train comes few and the buses fewer so he can’t really complain about it being just a ‘countryside problem’. He have no choice but to take the long route.

 It gave him even more time to reflect. Since he’s been back in his sleepy hometime that’s all he can do without being given a strange glance or an ugly look. Everything was quiet in his hometown even during the afternoon where everyone would be out of school and shopping around but it would still be quiet, no sound this town could make would ever compare to the Shibuya crossing and for some reason it irks him. Which led to a new habit of wearing headphones around his neck in case things get too quiet around, of course another good substitute is Morgana who enjoys chatting about the things he sees or other small topics that he demands Akira pay attention to. 

By the time he made it to the train station the sky had turned from a murky blue to a bright and sunny one. The train station was empty save for the workers and a few people in suits. It was still early after all. Had Akira decided to leave the house two hours later the station would be filled with people and many more inside the train. He did not want to be seen today. Akira checked his phone to look at the time. He still have another two hours before he reaches Shibuya, still a lot of time to spare. It was probably best to check the group chat before the rest of the gang do something stupid. 

Akira:

I’m alright guys don’t worry

The replies he got were all the same asking if he was really alright and if he need someone to come over. He’s been offline for days and now that he gets a good look at his notification he can see that his messaging app has over a few hundred unread messages.

 He softly smiled, the feeling of warmth covering his chest. He loved his friends. They cared for him more than anyone else in his life and he will do anything for them. 

Akira:

I’m sorry for not answering all you calls

And texts. My family has been busy.

He added a cute frowny emoji for good measure.

Akira:

I won’t be online for the rest of the day

Sorry! Talk to you all later

He felt bad lying to his friends. But today he’s on a solo mission. He doesn’t want anyone else to be with him. He hopes they can understand. Akira slips his headphones back on and lean back in his seat, his hand reaching out and pulling the blinds so they fully cover the window and for the rising sun light stays out of his eyes. His destination is still a long way. A quick nap before then couldn’t hurt. 

===

The news mentioned him once today. It was more of a passing comment from a news channel that barely talked about him when he was alive treats him just the same dead. The big screen on the building creates white noise behind the already loud Shibuya. He knows he shouldn’t dawdle, who knows how everyone will react if he takes too long to answer back. He doesn't want to worry them ever again. 

An aggravated sigh escaped his lips. Today is not about him. He shouldn’t be selfish today of all days. He needs to quickly transfer trains before someone spots him and distracts him from his task. 

He reaches into his pocket expecting his train pass to be in there, he doesn't have any money in the card at the moment but it should make entering and leaving the station much easier as soon as he refills it.

And his pocket is empty. 

Guess in the end he has to buy a ticket. Yippie. 

Putting paying extra aside-he still have some metaverse money that he split evenly between the team long after their last heist and a short while before his departure. In the end everyone received a good amount of cash and after a long lecture from Makoto went mostly to saving so wasting five hundred yen for a round trip shouldn't hurt his bank account at all. 

The train in Shibuya is much busier than the one he took from his hometown. He scoffs, Of course it’s busier everyone here is always busy doing their own thing and living their own lives. It was almost disturbing to see how quickly city folks move from one topic to another especially after seeing the public’s one track mind on the Phantom thieves and Akechi but that was all due to the influence of the false God. Now that everyone is free, everything went back to the same boring way it was before. 

The city charm has long died out somewhere along his journey. But it was better than the countryside for sure, as a third year he now have to worry about college and future plans. Whatever it is he hopes he can do it by his friends’ side and not alone. 

There was a soft melody on the overhead, that must be his train. He stepped aside as the people leaving rushed out, and as soon as the last person exited he made his move. He quickly glanced around the cart, there’s no empty seats how unlucky considering he’ll have to stand for another thirty minutes . The train was filled with sleeping salarymen and bored elderly. He knows he’s not getting a seat anytime soon. He pulled out his phone and opened the music app. He never liked the waiting game but hopefully music can make time go by faster.

-

Akira also dislikes being squeezed to the point he can feel his ribs but being in Tokyo comes with a price. The train was not that packed compared to the early morning rush that he dealt with every morning for the past year. But not being able to pull out his phone to change the song, has made the trip much longer than expected, when Akira pushed his way out of the train he let out a huge sigh in relief. It was a good thing he decided to buy the supplies on this stop, the last thing he need is to feel the glares of fellow passengers over spilt water and crushed petals all over someone’s over expensive suit.

A sponge, a small box of incense, small candles along with two canned coffee . He ignored the sad look the cashier passed him as she was ringing him up. Did he have everything he needed? He thinks he does but if he did forget something then there are sure to be a convenience store nearby. He still have some time before the next bus comes, maybe he can buy a triple seven chicken and gobble it down. 

As he step out of the store he paused in his step. Flowers ! How could he have forgotten about the flowers especially since he was complaining about it earlier. He open up his metaverse free navigator. It was still too early but there should be one place that’s open right? He grin widely after finding out that yes there is a place nearby that’s already open. A small family run store instead of the big corporate one that he worked in once before. Hopefully they can help him pick up the perfect bouquet for him. 

An hour later and a few thousand yen emptier, Akira finally reach the grounds.

The hike up the hill was just as stressful as the trip getting there, he nodded to the monk who was sweeping and headed over to the sink and grabbed one of the available pail filling it with water and started making his way up the hill. It took awhile for Akira to find the right grave, he did not have an exact location and it was not like the monk at the entrance knew each place by heart, so Akira had to walk pass each individual family grave until he found one that was covered with dirt and weed. 

Here it is. Abandoned and left alone like the people who’s spirit left there. He put down the bucket gently on the floor and reach for the sponge making sure the sponge took up as much water as possible before reaching toward the grave, the name which was hidden after years of abandonment shine in the sun. He smiles as he dip the sponge in the water again. 

--

Cleaning the grave back to its former glory took about an hour, cleaning around the graves like pulling out the weed and disposing of old flowers took about half. By then Akira was covered with dust, dirt and sweat and in need of a good soak. But it was far from over, setting up the candle and incense shouldn’t have been a problem. He done it many times before, but it took a few broken one and a sip of water before he was satisfied with the white smoke in the air. Akira then reached for the flowers and carefully placed them in their placeholder. ‘Done’ he thought to himself. After seeing his parents prepare the family grave each summer he thought it would be easy but it was a lot more work than what he expected. It must be the heat.

He then took out the canned coffee already lukewarm from staying in the heat the whole time and placed it right under the engraved name. Akira then put his hands together, closed his eyes and talked. 

When he opened his eyes again it was already dark and his neck was burning from standing outside for too long. His voice was hoarse from talking too much but it was not like he talked much in the first place. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tie that was frayed and wrinkled with the lack of proper care.  

Akechi’s body was long gone. His ashes spread over a name he hated all his life. By spreading the last part of him to a place where he wanted to rest would make him happy, right? He pulled out a lighter and slowly moved it towards the tie.

Akechi loved his mother didn’t he? So Akira should do this one last favor and help guide him to her. But- his hand shake as the fire slowly touched the end of the tie. He quickly turned off the flame before it take more of the tie than it already had. 

He can’t

Akira bit the end of his lips internally scolding himself. This is not about him, this is about Akechi. He shouldn't be selfish . It was selflessness that saved the world before, the options he had before when he was allowed to be selfish would have ended up in ruins. Even now after defeating the false gods, the golden rule still applies. He should hurry up and burn it up already !

He drop the lighter on the floor and clutch the tie in his hands tightly. One day, one day he’s sure that this decision is going to bite him back. It might even haunt him for the rest of his life. But it was unfair, he was still a kid, he should be allowed to grieve the way he wants to. He stare sadly at the grave in front of him. Akechi is probably mocking him. A sentimental fool. He wouldn’t mind hearing him sneer one last time. 

Akira let out a wet chuckle and wiped his eyes erasing any evidence of tears that was forming in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to visit again soon.” He said as he stood up, making sure to grab the bucket and sponge, leaving no garbage behind as he walked back down the hill and back home. 

A03 Link : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458830

#p5 #persona 5 #akechi goro #kurusu akira

[stoopsbookstore]

Fansite

Synopsis- After months of being fanboys, Hyunjin and his friends arennew fansites for the girl group, Hue, and after several misadventures, the group is starting to recognize them, Hyunjin in particular, as the most memorable fanboys they've met.

"None of these photos came out right, they're all blurry," Jaemin slammed his laptop shut in anger, "how am I supposed to be the best Cerise fansite out there if I can't even catch her in moment? Look! Her hair looks amazing, but her face is all blurry because Lil-"

A pillow hit the boy in the face as Hyunjin looked up from his laptop, "Don't blame Lilac! It's not my fault your camera is 4 years old and there's dust inside of it."

"At least he didn't drop our gift to them. Starbucks aren't cheap, that order had to be like 30 dollars," Gai pointed out to the group, fixing the TV signal, "I'll never forget the look on Bai's face when that black coffee with 2 sugar packets fell the group."

"To be fair, it was only 20 dollars because Cerise isn't supposed to have caffeine since she was in the hospital back in February and the doctor told her to cool it."

"Stop being such a fanboy," Hyunjin swatted Jaemin's hair as he collected the pillow from the floor.

Hyunjin, Jaemin, Gai and Jongho were having a monthly meeting for their favorite girl group, Hue, and this is their first meeting as official fansites of the girls. Gai's bias was Emerald, Jaemin's was Cerise, Jongho couldn't decide between Cierra or Bai and Hyunjin immediately fell for Lilac, as known as Y/N. The boys sat around the tv as Hue's interview started.

"Color the sky! Hi, we are Hue!" The girls cheeted in unison, each dressed in their respective color.

"We are so proud of our Shades. Because of you all, we have our first win for 'Borealis,' and we couldn't be anymore thankful," Cierra, the group's leader, dressed in a black tanktop, black shorts and fishnets with boots, spoke.

"We also have another announcement!" Cerise, the main dancer dressed in a short pink plaid skirt and a matching t-shirt, pointed to the camera.

"Yes, we do, Cerise!" Emerald, the main rapper clad in a green outfit similar to Cierra, continued the prepared speech, "we're inviting several fansites to an exclusive fanmeet!"

"That we are!" Bai, the maknae in a white, off the shoulder dress spoke, "Lilac is going to announce the 40 fansites who are coming to this special event happening in 2 days at Thalian Hall."

As soon as the girl in the purple v-neck t-shirt with matching high-waisted shorts and garter belts came on the screen, Hyunjin was mesmerized. A chorus of birds spinning around his head as he imagined his life with Lilac.

"Oh, Lilac! I love you so much!"

"Hyunie! We're getting married! Please call me Y/N!"

"Oh Y/N, my bride! My princess!"

He broke out of his daydream as Jongho started shaking him.

"We're going to the event! This time as official people! We're going to get passes and get to see them up close!" Jongho yelled in Hyunjin's face.

"We can make up for all those fanmeets where Hyunjin destroyed a set piece!" Gai cheered, running to clean his camera.

"Or accidentally hit a bodyguard!" Jaemin kissed the TV screen when Cerise showed up, disgusting Jongho as he patted Hyunjin on the back, "or all the times we tried to give them little gifts, only for Hyunjin to get them taken or ruin them."

"Bro! This is our chance! We actually get to talk to the girls for a little bit and even hold their hands! We finally get to have photos that we can edit! We can make our own gifs!" Jongho cheered, jumping up and down on the sofa.

Hyunjin sat stunned, he has an opportunity to make up for his slip-ups. He still doesn't forgive himself for accidentally spilling a unicorn frappuccino for Y/N down a bodyguard's back.

'Hopefully she has forgotten about that incident'

"Ok, guys," Hyunjin opened his laptop on the table, hyping the group up, "if we're going to impress the girls, we should practice!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Color the sky! Hi, we wre Hue!" The girl group announced their presence as the small 40-person audience cheered.

"We are so proud of you Shade, that we had to do something special," Cyan spoke in the microphone, a small amount of feedback fading in and out.

"I already see a few familiar faces out there," Emerald waved her lightstick in the air, "Emmy's World, who has been to every event since pre-debut! A legendary Shade, if I do say so myself."

The crowd laughed as the sound of shutters and the bright flashes went off, capturing the girls in every moment. Hyunjin watched as the crowd had different techniques to get the girls' attention. Emmy's World had a sign above their camera that said "Emerald, over here!" Another fansite called Light Cream for Bai had a polar bear plushie taped to the top of their camera and Jaemin was dressed head to toe in hot pink for Cerise, becoming the fansite Neon Flamingo.

Hyunjin felt like he was disassociating, this isn't his real life, it's just a dream and he's going to wake up soon, Gai is going to freak out because he found a cute picture of Emerald that actually allowed editing, Jaemin will be attempting to DM Cerise and Jongho will be making a pros-cons list of having a double bias.

Hyunjin heard his fansite name, Field of Lilacs, through the speaker. He walked to the front of the crowd, shooting photos of Y/N as she posed in a purple mid-thigh skater skirt, her off-white lilac-hued button up tucked into the skirt.

"Hey," Y/N pointed at Hyunjin, "you're the coffee guy, right?!"

Hyunjin wished to shrink in on himself as he felt everyone's eyes on him, some burning holes into his head. Hyunjin kept his head down, looking at the pictures he took, ashamed of the fact he's known as the coffee guy. He wanted to run away, but he continued to take photos.

A wave of guilt came over Y/N. Maybe she shouldn't have brought that up, she just wanted to make the cute guy with the light blue shirt knew he was actually one of the fans the girls knew and talked about all the time.

'Does he feel bad about the coffee? It was just an accident...'

Y/N whispered to Emerald, no one could tell for Y/N had hid her mouth by her hand. After Emerald had talked to one of their managers, Y/N kept her eye on Hyunjin, who felt awkward the rest of the event.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Guys! Holy shit, we have so many good photos! Look at Cyan!" Gai flipped through his camera roll as Jaemin and Jongho were looking at each other's photos.

Hyunjin sat on a bench outside the event hallway, kicking his feet as he played with the camera strap. The other three boys were running around like chickens with their heads cut off when Hyunjin was approached by a tall man.

"Ms. Y/N is asking for you," the bodyguard towered over Hyunjin, the intimidation factor causing Hyunjin to go wide-eyed, "Nothing bad. She just wishes to talk to you privately."

Hyunjin took a glimpse at his friends, who were still comparing photos and talking about their favorite moments, "Uuhh, yea, sure."

The pair walked down the hallway, heading towards a double door which led to the Hue tour bus and the five members standing outside the bus, making sure they have all their luggage.

"Thanks Davey," Y/N dismissed the bodyguard as he patted Hyunjin's back, the boy lurching forward, Y/N's hands catching his shoulders and helping him avoid falling.

"Umm, sorry," Hyunjin kept curled up in himself.

"No, oh my God, I should be sayimg sorry to you. I didn't realize you were embarrassed by the whole coffee situation," Y/N apologized, feeling genuinely awful about the situation, "I know some of the fansites were plotting your demise by the way they were staring at you."

Hyunjin sported a small smile, "honestly, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it from my ultimate bias."

"Oh?!" Y/N dramatically put her hand over her heart, "little old me?! Your ultimate bias? I think Neon Flamingo may be my favorite fansite."

Hyunjin and Y/N started laughing, the awkwardness fading as they continued to stand around each other. They shared glances at each other until Y/N reached into her bag, pulling out a piece of paper and a purple pen.

"Here. It's my personal profile," Y/N handed Hyunjin a piece of paper, hiding it under Bai's camera, "be careful, if it gets out, Davey is going to blame you and he knows your face very well."

"I can buy him a coffee if it would make him feel better," Hyunjin adjusted the bag on his shoulder, easing his fidgetiness.

Y/N and Hyunjin stood in comfortable silence as the three other boys started shouting for their missing friend.

"I should probably go as well, we have rehearsals tonight," Y/N softly smiled at Hyunjin, "it was really nice actually getting to talk to Mr. Disaster."

Hyunjin chuckled at the nickname, realizing he's still holding Bai's camera, "if you don't mind, may I get one photo?"

"I don't think Bai would mind," Y/N took the camera, putting her hand on Hyunjin's waist as she extended her arm out.

The camera flashed and she kissed Hyunjin's cheek, the photo printing out as she handed it to Hyunjin. Hue's manager started yelling for all the girls to get in the bus, Y/N running and waving back at Hyunjin.

"I'll see you later," Y/N shouted as the door to the bus closed, leaving Hyunjin with the photo of the pairing.

Putting the small photo in his phonecase, Hyunjin unlocked his phone, opening an app and adding Y/N. After a short bit, his phone pinged with a notification he never thought he would see.

"LilacLovesHue has added you!"

#stray kids au #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin

[risk-e-rats]

Infected - Chapter 1

Summary: Dan and Phil have been best friends for their entire lives, but now as teens, how will they survive when the dead begin to rise and the world falls into madness? How will they live in this brave new world? Will they be able to do what is absolutely necessary to survive and face the consequences of this harsh reality? 

Warnings: mild violence

PG-13

Word count: 1,632

Note: The Walking Dead takes place in a world where zombie media never existed, hence why they call them walkers among other things instead. I am going to take that page from their book because I think it is a good choice story-telling wise. Title also based on an episode title from TWD.

Note 2: This is my first fic on this blog. My first fic in a long time. I’m excited and nervous and I hope people enjoy this! Please, please give me feedback and let me know what you think!

Also, I had this whole thing typed on my phone then tried to post it and my tumblr app crashed so yay I rewrote the whole thing on my laptop and hopefully this posts. It was probably a little better the first time, but whatever. I’m still happy with this. First chapter below the cut!

Phil is a seventeen year old boy. He has a fairly normal life. He goes to school. He has friends. He’s pretty deep in the closet. He’s in love with his best friend Daniel, whom he’s grown up with since they were tots. Okay, perhaps his life has had a few small hiccups or inconveniences, but all of his problems were peanuts compared to what he woke up to today. He walks downstairs and hears the news channel on in the living room. There seems to be mass panic happening. He walks into the room and finds his parents full attention on the horrific scene on the television. The dead were rising. It was beginning not all that far away from where they were. Currently, they were being told the CDC was working on something and to just remain safely in their homes until further notice. Phil’ s mind went straight to ‘this has to be some kind of joke. April fools? No, it’s September. Well, there has to be some logical explanation’. But he saw it with his own eyes. The shot of the dead in the street. The footage of one of them attacking a woman and several of them ganging up on her, biting at her, her falling to the ground afterwards, and them continuing to tear her apart, pulling her apart, inside out, quite literally. He’s never seen anything so graphic and disturbing. Phil is a horror movie fan. This was not faked. There was nothing like this and he knew what special effects looked like, this was not it. This was real. It was on every channel, probably across the world. It was estimated to be a worldwide epidemic in only a few short weeks if a solution wasn’t found very swiftly. The military was going to take action very soon if need be. This was real. He was not dreaming. He checked by pinching himself very hard.

Naturally, the first thing Philip does is exactly what the professionals are telling everyone not to do. He goes outside. They aren’t sure how this has started, if it’s airborne, some sort of disease, contagious, etc.. Plus, the dead could be anywhere. They were confirmed in certain places, but of course they could be anywhere and maybe just not reported there yet. However, Phil makes a direct beeline to Dan’s house. Dan lives just right next door. Phil just goes straight in since he knows he is always welcome there. “Oh, dear, have you heard the news?” Dan’s mother asks him as she looks over when she hears him enter. “Yeah, I have. Is Dan still in bed?” Phil asks the woman who is truly like a second mother to him. “Yes, he is,” she replies before turning her attention back to the news, wanting all the available details. Phil rushes up to Dan’s room. He doesn’t know why he’s relieved to see that Dan is okay. As if he already would’ve been outside long enough to have been bit. Yeah, right. He’s still asleep, of course. Dan always sleeps in. Phil lays down beside him in bed. After only a few minutes, Dan begins to open his eyes, already unconsciously shifting closer to Phil for warmth and cuddles. “Morning… When did you get here?” Dan mumbles sleepily. “Only a few minutes ago,” Phil whispers. “The world has truly gone insane. You’ll never believe what’s actually happening right now,” Phil murmurs. “I dunno, Phil. Trump is president in America. Lemme guess; nuclear war that we are now a part of?” He glances up at Phil, truly half expecting to be correct. “That’s a valid guess,” Phil admits. “But no. Literally, you will never guess.” Phil takes out his phone and just shows Dan the captured footage of the woman being attacked that has been all over the news from the YouTube app on his phone. Dan’s jaw drops. There is no denying the reality of that clip. The bloodcurdling scream of the woman, the way they scratch and bite her, the way they tear her open and apart alive, until she isn’t. There’s no faking that. Phil slips his phone back into his pocket once the clip ends. “They’re telling us all to stay indoors until, like, they figure out a way to deal with them. But it’s spreading quickly and the military could possibly be getting involved if it comes to it.” He doesn’t even really realize it, but he holds Dan closer as he explains. He’s just always had this compulsion to take care of the younger boy. Dan was two years younger than him and they’ve been inseparable since Dan’ s birth, basically. Their parents are very good friends, and they are next door neighbors. They’re closer than could be. “Holy shit,” Dan mumbles, instinctively nuzzling closer to Phil. “Wait- Does this mean that school is canceled?” Dan asks, glancing up at Phil, small smirk playing at his lips. “It actually does!“ Phil tells him. “Yes!” Dan laughs. It wasn’t real yet. It hasn’t truly hit. It hasn’t affected them directly yet. It was just a few small occurrences happening elsewhere. They could still laugh and have fun for now. But the threat was growing and spreading and getting closer to everyone, everywhere. It had only just begun.

-

Fast forward two weeks and things have truly gotten bad. Shit has officially hit the fan. There is no cure. There are more walking dead people than the military know how to deal with. People are dropping by the dozens. It is no longer safe anywhere. People are locking themselves indoors, boarding up their windows, barricading their doors. People who haven’t stocked up on months worth of food in the last weeks are surely about to regret it because good luck getting to the store now. No one will probably even still be working at the store now, you’d just have to loot it. Phil hasn’t been outside in a while now, but he knows the outside world is insane these days from the news that still runs on television and the radio. Phil and his parents have all moved themselves into the Howell’s home. It’s bigger, so they have more space to spread themselves out. The Lester’s have brought all their food and resources over as well. Everyone is now very, very afraid. Dan and Phil still feel quite secure, though. They have a good thing going here. They had stocked up on food, so they have plenty still. They feel they’ve protected the house quite well, did a good job boarding it up. The only concern was: how long would this go on? What if it went past when they do run out of food? What if one somehow breaks in through a boarded up window? No one is really sure how to kill these things, or how to protect themselves against them yet, so would they all just die if one got in? What would they do? All Phil knows is that he will die before he lets anything hurt Dan. Soft, sweet Dan. He would 100% protect him with his life. If something wants to get to Dan, it will have to go through him first. 

-

Dan did not take any of this seriously at first. But now that his house has essentially become a bunker, well- there’s only so much denial you can have. He’s now been with his own parents and the Lester’s all cooped up in his home that is all Fort Knox-ed out for a full eight days now. On the bright side, he would never complain about spending so much time with Phil. They have always been closer than platonic teenage boys typically are. They cuddle, sleep in the same bed when they spend the night together, even the odd kiss to the cheek or forehead sometimes. It probably has a lot to do with how they’ve been close since they were in diapers, but also they were just madly in love and the only ones who couldn’t see it were each other. This is a very scary situation, but Dan feels safe and secure where he is. Their home feels safe right now, Phil is always beside him which always brings a feeling of security, and all four parents are here. They both truly feel as if they have two mothers and two fathers. They both grew up with each others parents so much that they even call the others parents mom and dad. The parents all feel the same about both boys, caring about the other as much as if he were their own. They’re all one, big, loving family. Dan is very worried, though. He’s always had some severe anxiety. What are they going to do when the food is gone? What will they realistically do if one of those things gets in through a window or something? It is actually quite likely that it will happen. Whenever they make a loud sound, they can hear the dead banging on the glass of the windows, It already sounded like the glass was beginning to crack the other day. Sometimes it sounds like there’s only one out there, sometimes it sounds like more, sometimes it seems like all is fine outside their home. But how long will it take for a large enough group of them to gather around and cave in a part of their sanctuary? How long do they have here? Phil seems to sense Dan’s nerves because he holds the boy closer to his chest. “It’s going to be okay, Danny, okay?” He whispers and presses a small kiss to the top of his best friends head. Dan nods very faintly and nuzzles close, taking solace in his friends calming words and aura. They were safe for now.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #my writing #infected #infected chapter one #apocalyslpse au #childhood friends #friends to lovers #this fic is going to be my baby now for quite a while #I'm ready

[ic-upf-blog]

This is a picture of my laptop on a table. On my screen, you can see that I am trying to structure all my lessons and homework at the platform ‘My Study Life’. If any of my fellow students reads this, I will highly recommend you to try this – it is also available as an app!

This picture is taken at the library at the Ciutadella Campus Thursday the 10th of January at 09:16am. The weather is nice (again) today, and the sun is shining. I’m sitting here, because I was wrong about a seminar class in a new course of mine “International Marketing”. I got this course in the add and drop days, and therefore, I didn’t attend the first two classes, which were held Monday and Tuesday. If I did attend those two classes, I would probably have known, that the seminar classes don’t start until week three at the Ciutadella campus. Therefore, I’m now sitting here. Alone. I could say, that “this is the new thing, I have never done before’. To be wrong about the time of a class. But I’m not. First of all, that would be a lie. Second of all, I would rather put this situation into a bigger perspective:

“This is the first time, I’m sitting alone in a library - in another country, where I have to spend the next 6 months”, and that’s kind of scary. Normally I would just go home again now. I’m not doing that right now, because the apartment I have rented is rather disgusting and my flat mates are smoking weed inside all the time – and my room is located right next to the living room, with all the smoke. It is not possible to take a hot shower either, because we are so many people in the apartment using the hot water. Therefore, I prefer sitting here. What did I learn about my apartment situation? Don’t rent a flat without seeing it before you move in. To make it even worse, everybody advised me not to rent a place without seeing it in advance. But I was sure, that the pictures in the SpotAHome (rental site) add was right, and that El Raval was the best area to live in. It is not..

Luckily I’m moving to another place this weekend, which is much nicer. So, this picture kind of describes my situation at the moment, to be new in a city where I don’t know anyone. It is a really weird feeling. To have to do everything alone, and try to navigate in a new city without anyone to follow.

Yesterday, I went to IKEA all by myself (yes, I am Scandinavian). That was an ambivalent feeling. IKEA in Barcelona looks completely the same as it does in Copenhagen. It is the same things they sell, you get the same blue and yellow plastic bags, and it is also possible to eat Swedish meet balls in the cafeteria – exactly the same meet balls. But the experience is different. At home, I always go to IKEA with my mom, with my boyfriend and sometimes my girlfriends too. Yesterday, I was alone – and I really felt alone. When you go to IKEA, you see all these happy people. There is a lot of young couples, and also a lot of families. Of course, there is also a bunch of men, who were forced to go there by their wives, and are getting rather frustrated as the hours go by. But it still makes you feel alone, to go there all by yourself – with no one to force you. 

The new apartment I am moving to, is in Gracía. I really like this area, with all the little shops and the cute streets. I’m going to share the apartment with 3 spanish girls. Hopefully, I will learn a little Spanish.

Every Tuesday, there is a street flea market in Gracía, where all the residents put out the stuff they don’t use any longer on the street. I’m looking forward to this, as the room I have rented only have a bed and a little closet. That’s another thing about moving to a city where you do not know anyone. You have no one to ask for help. I Have downloaded this app called ‘Wallapop’, where you can buy and sell used stuff. I was about to buy this big mirror when it occurred to me, that I will not be able to carry it myself. Too bad. Now I have two options, 1) take a taxi, 2) Buy a mirror, when I (hopefully) get some friends. Hopefully, option two will happen soon ;)

When I read all the above-mentioned things, I realize, that I sound extremely negative. The truth is, that I couldn’t be happier to be in Barcelona. To clarify this, I will now list my top 3 reasons why Barcelona is amazing:

1.     The weather:

I know, that Spanish people think this is the coldest weather a human body can survive, at I agree, that it isn’t summer. But in Denmark right now, it is about 1-2 degrees. Also, I think the fact that the sun is shining is doing a whole lot!

2.     Big city AND a beach city:

Actually, I can’t mention another European city, which have both these things. That says it all.

3.     The brilliant food, drink and prices.

Barcelona have so many good places to go out for food and drinks. In addition, it is sooo much cheaper compared to Copenhagen. A good example of this, is the price of a cup of coffee. What does a normal cup of coffee cost here? Maybe 1,5-2 euros? In Copehagen, a cup of coffee cost approximately 5 euro – crazy right?

So to sum up, it is scary to move to a new city. In the beginning, you are all on your own, and you have to get used to a lot of new things. But once you get settled, you can relax and enjoy the fact that you are in BARCELONA! 

Before you know it, it is already over.

-       Anna Nielsen, international student from Copenhagen

[katrinawritesthings]

Jinki/Tae; Week Two (Part 2/3); PG

still tw for gender problems and past abuse and more anxiety this time

He sneaks a quick peek at Peach; leaf is settled back in leafs chair, arms holding leafs laptop box to leafs chest, hands holding leafs phone with Choi’s Periscope steady. Leaf watches with sleepy eyes, thumb tapping little hearts every so often without any pattern. Jinki breathes out quietly and closes his eyes. One day.

Maybe he’ll ask Jonghyun or Key to set them up one time. A little friend date. Just the two of them.

Moving Day: 1-2-3-4

Week Two: 1-2-3

Extra Baggage: 1

The first thing Peach does when they get into the ice cream shop is order peach ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. Jinki chuckles watching leaf bounce lightly in front of the counter, puts his arms around leafs waist to steady leaf, and leans over leafs shoulder to to make his own order. Then they scoot over to let Choi order their usual. Peach is bouncing in Jinki’s arms again, watching the second employee scoop leafs ice cream into the cup, when Choi pokes Jinki’s shoulder.

“Hmm?” Jinki hums, glancing at them. They gesture to the cashier with a pointed look. Jinki frowns. “It’s your turn,” he says. He knows. He remembers dropping, like, three dollars worth of coins last week and scrambling around to pick them all up. Choi frowns back, lips puffed up.

“No, last week I--” they start, but after a moment of hesitation, their hands drop. Jinki cocks a brow as they smile quickly at the cashier before digging in their pocket for their phone. They pull it out and tap to their notes app; after a few seconds of scrolling, they mouth a silent “fuck.” Jinki snorts when they shove their phone back into their pocket and pull out their wallet instead. He turns back to watch their ice cream, only to almost bump into Peach still watching Choi. Leafs bottom lip is trapped between leafs teeth.

“I can… pay,” Leaf says, but so quietly that it goes unnoticed and Choi has already handed over their card. Jinki squeezes leaf comfortingly.

“You don’t have to,” he says softly. Peach blinks at him with big eyes, hand drifting to leafs pocket.

“I want to,” leaf says, “I don’t want to cost anything extra,” but Jinki takes leafs wrist in a gentle hand.

“They want to pay for you,” he says. “I know you have money anxiety, but.” He pauses for a second and sighs as he tries to think. He doesn’t know what the magic combination of words are to make Peach feel better about this. “Your turn can be next week,” he tries. In his opinion, leaf shouldn’t have to pay at all. Leaf shouldn’t have to give up the small life savings leaf was able to hide away for some ice cream. Leaf hasn’t even been able to start looking for a job yet, which both helps and hinders Jinki’s point. “It’s a gift,” he says. “Like your piercings and new clothes and the laptop.”

“Those were different,” Peach whines.

“Just because they were more expensive it doesn’t mean they’re more important,” Jinki says. “Inentionwise, anyway,” he adds. A laptop is kind of super fucking important compared to some ice cream. “All are being given to you because we care about you and because... we’re catching up on all of the birthdays we missed.” That’s kind of a lie; Jonghyun and Key have technically never missed a birthday or holiday, even if their presents were small and mostly online. They’re gifts because Peach deserves nice things for once in leafs life, but he thinks it’s easier to accept a birthday gift than a just-because gift. He nudges Peach gently to take leafs ice cream. “Imagine how much ice cream we need to catch up on,” he grins. Peach just hums, an uncomfortable noise, and Jinki sighs. Maybe it’ll be better if he changes the subject. Choi steps over to wait with them then, tucking their wallet back into their pocket. Peach mumbles a quiet “thank you” to them around leafs spoon.

“Can…,” leaf starts quietly. “Can it be my turn to buy muffins?” Leaf looks between the two of them pleadingly; Choi throws Jinki a questioning look. Jinki shrugs minutely back and sighs slowly. Again, leaf shouldn’t have to, but if it’ll make leaf feel better….

“Sure, Peach,” he says, pressing the tiniest of kisses to leafs temple. Leaf gasps softly at the name, flattered blushes of color rising in leafs cheeks, and Jinki smiles. Nice. He knows that feel of validation, at least. He glances up and takes his own vanilla cake batter with sugar sprinkles, taking a napkin as well from on top of the counter. Choi reaches over to put a hand on leafs shoulder reassuringly. Jinki rests his cheek against Peach’s head for a few seconds before leaning back and poking leafs side.

“Um,” he says. “You’re okay with me being this touchy with you, right?” he asks. He kind of just did it, so used to holding Jonghyun and Key so casually like this, and only just realized that he forgot to ask permission. Peach looks at him, then laughs softly, smiling back into leafs ice cream.

“Yeah,” leaf says. “If you’re okay with the large possibility of my physical intimacy craving ass falling in love with you too, then yeah.”

“Oh,” Jinki says. He forgot about that. He thinks one time Jonghyun described it as, “leaf falls in love with literally anyone that hugs leaf casually for more than five minutes.” Hmm. “Well, I mean,” he says, shifting half a step back so he can just have his one hand on Peach’s waist instead of being fully wrapped around leaf. “Maybe text me later and we can talk about my repulsion and boundaries and shit.” Jonghyun is fine and comfortable, but he doesn’t know if he can handle the kind of love Peach would give him. He’ll figure out if he wants to be touchy with Peach then. Peach turns to look at him quietly for a moment before shrugging.

“Sure,” leaf says. Jinki nods kind of awkwardly at that answer. Sure. He’s not entirely sure what “sure” means; if it’s a “sure, I’ll do that” sure or a “sure, I’ll stay away” sure or some other kind of sure that he can’t think of. He can’t read Peach at all and it unsettles him greatly. Thankfully, Choi saves him from having to respond by taking their ice cream and turning to smile at the both of them. They take a bite and hold the spoon in their mouth so they have one free hand.

“Inside or outside?” they ask, and then just points at both with a single finger so Peach can figure out what the signs meant. Jinki shrugs; as long as it’s not windy outside he doesn’t care either way. Peach hums, nibbling on leafs pink spoon, glancing outside, looking between the both of them.

“Mmm, outside,” leaf decides.

“Outside,” Choi repeats, turning the sign into a dramatic point that makes them almost drop their ice cream. Jinki snorts, muffling his laughter into the back of his hand as Choi hisses quiet curses and fumbles to catch it. Peach does the same and floats forward to hold the door open for both of them.

“I’m actually pretty tired,” leaf says as leaf follows them to a little table in the shade. “This is so much more walking than I expected?” Leaf sits down with a whoosh of breath and squirms, arching leafs back with a little grimace. Jinki pats leafs arm sympathetically. He knows that lower back pain aesthetic. He’s kind of drifted from a two to a four since they left the baking store himself. At least his legs are fine where Peach’s are probably sore too.

“We can chill in the arcade for the rest of the day if you want,” he says, Choi shrugging an agreement. It’s what they usually do when Jinki has bad back days anyway. Peach hums, shrugs, and sucks ice cream off of leafs spoon.

“I’ll see how I feel later,” leaf mumbles. “Guh. How can walking be so difficult?”

“Well, I mean,” Jinki says, and then takes a big spoonful of ice cream to stop himself from finishing that thought. He was going to say “because you were never really allowed to do any exercise at all for years so now you’re super out of shape,” but something tells him that might not have been the best thing to bring up. “People underestimate walking,” he says instead after he swallows. “It’s legit exercise.”

“Super legit,” Choi signs, nodding sagely. Jinki grins. That’s a lot, coming from their five-days-a-week gym schedule.

“It’s the only exercise I do,” Jinki shrugs. “Besides scooping Jonghyun up when he drinks too much at the club and starts getting fighty.” He doesn’t have the energy or health to be doing cardio and sports and weights and shit. Nah. These weekly walks around the mall and keeping Jonghyun from getting his anus kicked in every few months are enough for him. Peach laughs softly at that, grinning into leafs ice cream.

“Yeah, well,” leaf says. “Hopefully I get used to it soon.”

“Mmhmm,” Choi hums back. They scoop out a mini oreo from their ice cream, untwist it, bite the filling out, and drop the cookie part back into their bowl. “I can take you to the gym with me if you want,” they sign.

“Meh,” Peach mumbles back, and Jinki snorts. Same. He leans over the table to give Peach a high five over Choi’s grumpy little pout. Peach links their fingers together for a moment before their hands slide apart and Jinki smiles. Nice. Good bonding. They’re practically best friends.

And speaking of best friends, as Jinki settles back into his chair, he notices something about Choi that really should have caught his attention way earlier: a lack of a camera.

“You’re not vlogging,” he says, pointing at Choi with his spoon. There’s been no camera in their hand this whole time, no fumbles to do everything one handed, no asking anyone to hold it so Choi can sign about what they’re doing today. There’s a pause after he points this out, where both Choi and Peach look at him, then each other, and then back to him with identical little smirks. Jinki huffs. “Wow, okay,” he says. Rude. He doesn’t need them judging him. “Just, why?” he asks, trying to shift the focus off of his lack of observation skills and back onto Choi. Choi looks at him for another moment before chuckling softly and shaking their head.

“Peach doesn’t wanna be on camera,” they sign, spoon between their lips.

“Oh,” Jinki says. He glances at Peach, who’s biting their lip and stirring around leafs ice cream. That makes sense. Leafs face broadcasted to Choi’s however many subscribers would be kind of a breach in security.

“At--at least not until I dye my hair,” Peach says, lifting a shaky hand to pat leafs head. “And, Kibummie says they're gonna teach me how to do eyeliner stuff.” Leaf taps the corner of leafs eye, drawing invisible little curly lines that make Jinki smile. Just thinking about Peach with colorful swirls is cute.

“You’re gonna dye your hair?” he asks curiously, propping his chin in his hand. He didn’t know about this. Peach nods eagerly though, spooning more ice cream in before leaf replies.

“Yeah, but I wanna let it grow out more first,” leaf says. “Like--” Leaf raises leafs hand, waves it vaguely around leafs ear with a grimace. “I don’t know, just, not long, but longer than it is now.” Leaf flicks the short ends of leafs hair with a sigh. Jinki nods. Leaf’s always wanted it longer but has never been able to let it grow. “And I was thinking, like, blonde?” leaf says. “Maybe red, or, like, Kibummie has a bunch of colors.” Leaf shrugs with a hopeful smile. Jinki smiles back.

“Sounds nice,” he says. “I was blonde for a little bit.”

“Yeah?” Peach asks, leaning forward curiously. Jinki hums a confirmation.

“All of us were at some point,” Choi signs. Peach gasps softly.

“No,” leaf whispers. Both Jinki and Choi nod.

“I had kind of a yellowish bleach and then kinda golden blonde before I went back to red,” Jinki says, running his fingers through his hair to fix up his little flip. It was a nice color on him but he didn’t like it as much as he likes his deep burgundy.

“Jongie and Kitty both had yellow blonde, bleach blonde, white, and kind of silvery hair,” Choi signs. Jinki snorts and nods. He remembers both of them playing with their hair colors at the same time and accusing each other of stealing ideas. Now they’re relatively safe from each other; Jonghyun doesn’t have the patience for rainbow hair and Key won’t go back to something as “boring” as straight brown. Jinki still wouldn’t put it passed them to bicker over styling choices.

“What about you?” Peach asks, tapping the table in front of Choi. Instead of answering, Choi kind of just looks down and tries to cover up a blush. Jinki feels a smirk curving up his lips at the memories as Peach turns to him immediately to spill.

“They had this, like, really gorgeous sandy darkish dirty blonde,” he says, grinning more when Choi makes a tiny embarrassed noise. “They were a super beach babe.”

“I looked like a surfer douche,” Choi signs, pout heavy on their lips. Jinki waves them off with a shake of his head.

“They looked stunning,” he says. It was only a few weeks, but that time was a blessing to everyone that saw them with their color paired with sleeveless shirts and a killer tan. “Especially when their roots started showing and gave it like, a two-toned look, like. Wow.” He’s still not over it. He knows that Jonghyun definitely isn’t. He’d never seen Jonghyun keep a phone background for more than a week before Choi went blonde.

“Guh, I can’t even picture it,” Peach says, slouching down onto the table. Jinki pats leafs head sympathetically.

“Jonghyun has a lot of pictures,” he hums. “And Choi’s old v--”

A harsh snap cuts him off; he turns lazily to grin at Choi’s glare. That was one of their loudest snaps yet, he thinks. He bets their fingers hurt.

“So the other day I found this cool video for cheeseburger onion rings,” he says, turning to Peach after wiggling an amused brow once at Choi. Peach hesitates, thrown off guard by the sudden subject change, but catches on after a few seconds. Leaf giggles into the back of leafs hand before leaning forward and asking Jinki about the recipe.

It carries them through their ice cream; talks of recipes and food carry them all the way into the little muffin shop next door. There, Peach slips out leafs wallet with a shaky little smile to pay. Jinki still sighs, but out of earshot, and skips the extra cookie he usually gets with his muffin. Choi skips their usual raspberry drizzle as well but both of them smile and give Peach grateful little pats as leaf tucks the receipt away. Peach links leafs arm with Jinki’s as he tries to move away, so Jinki stays and squeezes gently. Leaf’s turning out to be even more touchy than Jonghyun, which is pretty impressive. He never thought he’d see the day.

They get their muffins soon: Jinki a lemon with toasted meringue, Choi a blueberry with chocolate chips, and Peach a strawberry with extra jam. With Choi standing just as close to Peach as they would to the other three and Jinki’s arm still linked with leafs, they march out of the muffin shop together. Jinki catches Peach craning leafs neck to squint across the street at the coffee shop. He shakes his head fondly and points through the corner window at Jonghyun and Key’s usual spot. They’re not there anymore and Jinki shrugs sympathetically when Peach pouts.

“There’s a grass hill kind of behind all of those buildings,” Jinki says, gesturing at a side street a few shops down from the coffee place. “They like to lie in the shade and complain about the privileged for a while. It helps them destress.”

“Mmm,” Peach hums, turning back to look ahead of leaf. “Same.” Choi snorts and pats their head. Jinki knows that talking about shit just makes them more stressed about it all. He’s the same way. Maybe they’ll figure out how to get Peach in on that next week, but for now, they keep leading leaf down the street to the electronics store.

As they walk, Jinki feels his back starting to ache even more. He sighs quietly and tries to stretch without drawing attention to it. He has more pills in his bag but he doesn’t like using more than one dose a day in the mornings. He is definitely going to try to get Peach to back him up on the staying-in-the-arcade thing later. They can be sore babes together. That’s still later, though; now, he just has to wait until they get into the electronics store so he can melt into the fancy massage chairs they have near the entrance. He’ll sit there and watch the marble slide machines and have a nice, relaxed, unpainful time. He licks a bit of meringue off of his muffin as they make their way down the street.

He’s just finishing off his last bite by the time they reach the front door, which is something that he’s extremely proud of. Both Choi and Peach are awkwardly leaning up against the glass to finish theirs. Jinki wiggles his eyebrows smugly at both of them. He holds the door open for them both after, handing Peach a napkin from his bag for leafs sticky strawberry fingers.

Inside, Jinki breathes deep and exhales happily. He loves how these places smell. Productivity and dust. Nice. Choi pats Peach’s shoulder and points to one of the middle aisles at where all of the laptops are on display. Peach gasps softly and claps with little hands.

“Nice,” leaf whispers. Jinki exhales shortly in amusement. They all start making their way there, and when they reach the massage chairs in front, Jinki stops with a happy noise.

“Okay, well,” he says, patting his favorite chair, the second from the left. It’s right in front of the dark green marble slide and thankfully no one else is sitting in it yet. “I’ll be here,” he says, and lets himself sink into it. He fumbles for his wallet, slots a few coins into the arm for twenty minutes, and pokes the buttons to make it focus on his lower back. That should be enough time for them to get a laptop. “Have fun,” he hums, waving lazily at the other two. Choi smiles and waves back. Peach hesitates, bottom lip sucked between leafs teeth.

“I… alone?” leaf asks, one hand resting on the head of the chair. Jinki blinks back.

“Um,” he says slowly. “Yes?” His confirmation makes leaf pout even harder, which completely throws him off. He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again. “What’s… wrong?” he asks, pitch rising way too much at the end. He coughs into his shoulder like he thinks that’ll actually cover it. Peach grimaces, sighs, runs leafs fingers through their hair.

“Just, it’s,” leaf says. “I don’t know. It’s irrational. I know you’ll be fine, but, just.” Leaf sighs again, rubbing their hand over their eyes. Behind them, Choi snaps softly to get his attention.

“Leafs panic attack from earlier was because leaf couldn’t find Kitty in the chocolate store,” they sign. “And leafs anxiety told leaf that she had suddenly died somehow.”

“Oh,” Jinki says. Peach watches Choi’s hands drop to their side and turns back with a little shrug.

“I didn’t catch all of that, but,” leaf mumbles. “Yeah.”

“Oh,” Jinki says again. He taps his fingers awkwardly on the arm of the chair. Suddenly the soft buzzing noise of its vibration seems extremely loud. “Um,” he says. He really doesn’t want to get up and skip this resting time. “Um,” he repeats, very flustered, and then gasps softly with an idea. He pulls out his phone and fiddles with his apps.

“Choi, are you following me on Periscope or no?” he asks, tapping through everything to start a broadcast. He wouldn’t blame Choi if they weren’t. He hardly ever uses the app to broadcast himself. Choi nods, though, taking out their own phone. Peach peeps over their shoulder as they pull up Jinki’s video.

“Oh,” leaf says. Jinki’s phone picks it up and leafs voice comes back out of Choi’s phone. All three of them laugh softly at that. Jinki switches the phone to the back camera because it feels weird to be looking at himself and just sets it up to watch the marble machines as well.

“Um,” he says another time. “So, just, I’ll keep this going and you can look for your laptop and you’ll know I haven’t spontaneously combusted or anything,” he says. That’s a good plan, right? Right. One that involves both his comfort and no anxiety. Peach seems to agree, because leafs lips twitch into a tiny smile.

“Okay, uh, thanks,” leaf says, tapping leafs hand lightly on Jinki’s shoulder. “Really.”

“Mmhmm,” Jinki hums, waving them both off to continue their search for a laptop. Choi hands Peach their phone as they walk away and Peach’s little “ooh” makes Jinki smile. It’s getting easier to talk seriously to leaf kind-of-solo, he thinks; he accepted that “thank you” like a champ and their conversation in the ice cream shop earlier was pretty okay. He doesn’t know what will happen if they’re left alone together at some point, but he guesses that he’ll figure that out when it happens.

When they’re gone, he doesn’t really say much; he doesn’t feel like talking and they don’t need to hear him to know that he’s okay. He just rests his phone in his lap, angling it so it has a nice shot of both the marble slides and his fingers tapping pleasantly on the arm of the chair. Every so often he sees a little heart pop up in the corner of his video and he smiles. He doesn’t know if they’re Peach confirming that leaf is also okay or just leaf absentmindedly tapping the screen, but either way it’s cute.

His eyes droop as he watches the marbles in front of him. He follows a bright blue sphere down his favorite route: from the top, down a spiral, through two loops, weaving in between a few other slides, and finally twisting to settle at the bottom before it’s sucked back up to the top again. The massage chair vibrates gently and kneads his back just the way he likes. A display TV screen somewhere behind him plays soothing music.

Jinki sighs happily. This is so good and nice and comfortable. He feels like he could fall asleep soon; he usually does if Choi leaves him alone in here like this for long enough. He thinks maybe he doesn’t have time for a full-on nap, but a few minutes couldn't hurt. Especially when they’re minutes as nice as this. He lets his eyes slide all the way shut, nuzzling his cheek into the soft velvet of the headrest as the quiet bustling of the store around him lulls his mind to ease.

Soon everything starts to get pleasantly muffled, every noise melting together in his brain and becoming blurry and blended. Things shift in and out of sharpness as his breathing evens out. He doesn’t know how long he sits there like this, but he does know that he hadn’t fully fallen asleep when the sudden, close jingle of spilled coins jolts him back into focus.

“God, good job, you fucking dipshit,” he hears in a dark mutter next to him. Blearily opening his eyes, he squints Peach into view. Leaf’s in the massage chair next to him, bent over the arm and reaching for the floor. More jingles and clatters and hissed self-insults clue Jinki in to the fact that leaf must have just dropped some change.

“Hey,” he mumbles, lifting a hand to rub at his eye. “Say sorry.”

“Mm--what? Oh--fuck, Jinki, sorry, I’m so sorry,” Peach says quickly. Leaf fumbles even more for leafs change, trying to look both at it and Jinki at the same time. “I didn’t--I didn’t mean to wake you up, fuck, just--”

“Oh, no, no,” Jinki says quickly, rubbing his hair out of his face and sitting up more. He blinks quickly to really focus on Peach, on leafs bitten lip, leafs shaky hands. “I meant, to yourself,” he clarifies. “You insulted yourself.”

“I--oh,” Peach says. Leafs voice falters, leafs hand curling into the arm of the chair. “Um. Sorry… me?” leaf says hesitantly. Jinki pauses, then nods. That was good enough. As good as it could be while he’s too disoriented to actually explain, anyway.

“You don’t have to berate yourself for an accident,” he says, gesturing at the coins still on the floor. Peach glances at them quickly and nods even quicker.

“I know, I know,” leaf says. “I’m just. I’m taking a while to unlearn that,” leaf mumbles. Jinki nods silently. He knows. It’s only been a week. And even if it had been five years, Jinki would still remind leaf to be nice to leafself. He does it for Jonghyun all the time. A suspicious lack of helpful hands makes him blink and look around.

“Where’s Choi?” he asks. They’re not anywhere around.

“They’re,” Peach says, and then grunts softly. Jinki watches leaf pick the last couple of quarters up and sit back with a triumphant noise. “They’re looking for camera vlog stuff,” leaf says. Leaf picks up leafs phone from their lap and shows Jinki a new Periscope, this time from Choi. He grins at the little rush of nonstop hearts in the corner. He bets their fans are just loving their generic adventure through the electronics store. “We got my laptop and I thought I’d come sit with you while they got the rest of their stuff.” Peach shrugs, giving Jinki a small smile. Leaf pats a box leaf has in leafs lap and holds it up for Jinki to see. The laptop looks like it’s cheap but still good and he nods in approval.

“Neato,” he says. Peach’s smile twitches up a fraction more.

“Um,” leaf says. “Sorry, again, for waking you up.” Leaf looks down quickly after the apology to feed some coins into leafs chair and then fiddle with the settings.

“No, it’s,” Jinki starts, lifting his hand and then lowering it to tap on his own armrest. “It’s fine,” he says. “I wasn’t… really sleeping anyway.”

“Oh,” Peach says. “Um. Okay.”

“Mmm,” Jinki hums back, and it’s in that moment, that single, awkward syllable that makes Taemin kind of frown, that it really registers in his brain that without Choi here, the two of them are alone. Like, alone together. They look at each other for a moment that suddenly feels extremely awkward to Jinki before he does his best to smile and turns quickly back to watch the marble slides. He twiddles his thumbs in his lap as he focuses on the marbles, avoiding Taemin’s gaze. He’s not even sure if Taemin is still looking at him. He can’t bring himself to check.

He hates this, honestly. He hates how he can be perfectly comfortable with Peach one minute and then completely clueless the next. It makes sense that he’s not all buddy-buddy with leaf. This is literally the fifth time they’ve been in the same place together with other people and the second time they’ve been completely alone. Twenty minutes of sitting in the same bed together watching cat videos wasn’t enough to cement them as best friends--Jinki knows this, but still. It’s not fair.

It’s not fair to Peach and it’s not fair to him. Maybe later he’ll talk to Choi about how they got close, but he doesn’t think any advice they can give him will help. They probably got closer just because of the fact that they live in the same damn house and are home alone together while Key is at work. Jinki can’t exactly have that experience.

He sighs, booping his chair’s vibration down a level or two. He’ll figure this out. Eventually. Hopefully. For now, he guesses he’ll just wait for Choi to return and rescue him from this nonsense.

He sneaks a quick peek at Peach; leaf is settled back in leafs chair, arms holding leafs laptop box to leafs chest, hands holding leafs phone with Choi’s Periscope steady. Leaf watches with sleepy eyes, thumb tapping little hearts every so often without any pattern. Jinki breathes out quietly and closes his eyes. One day.

Maybe he’ll ask Jonghyun or Key to set them up one time. A little friend date. Just the two of them.

“How... do you feel…,” Peach’s voice says, not suddenly but unexpected enough to make Jinki start and look over. “About ‘Ace…’ as a name?” Leaf was speaking forward, but when leaf finishes, leaf turns slowly to look at Jinki, top lip between leafs teeth. Jinki blinks. How does--fuck. He shifts in his seat to give himself time to think, time to understand what Peach actually said to him. How does he feel about ‘Ace’ as a name.

“Like,” he says slowly. “For you?”

“Yeah,” Peach says, nodding. “I think… I don’t know. I like how it sounds, but. It feels weird, like, calling myself ‘Ace’ when I’m the only one out of the five of us that’s not actually ace.”

“Oh,” Jinki says. “Yeah, uh true.” That is kind of weird and not weird at the same time. “But, it could mean ‘ace’ like, someone that excels at something.” Peach excels at a lot of things. And lots of people have words as names. It’s not like Peach is trying to name leafself “Grey-cupiosexual” or anything. Just a name of confidence.

“Yeah, that’s what I want it to mean,” Peach mumbles. Leaf shifts slightly so leaf can face Jinki more comfortably. Leafs eyes are dark and serious, something that flusters Jinki but also sparks a determination to help in his chest. ���I don’t know, I feel like. Less intensely upset about my gender shit now.” Leaf shrugs and tucks leafs laptop box behind leaf against the opposite armrest. “I feel like I can talk about it more now.”

“With me?” Jinki blurts out. He can’t imagine why. Peach nods.

“Why not?” leaf asks. Their fingers play with the vibration buttons on their chair, switching the setting up and down one level. “You’re an enby too, right?”

“I mean,” Jinki says. “Yeah, but.” He feels like Peach’s gender problems don’t really match up with his. He’s never even had any kind of dysphoria. His general aesthetic is that everything is fucking made up and confusing and if gender is made up and has no boundaries then he just doesn’t have a gender at all because he can’t pick one to feel if any gender can feel like anything. Choi is the same except instead of opting for no gender they felt better being polygender; Jonghyun is a bigender trans dude with gentle demigirl feels around him all the time. Peach’s highkey genderfluid stuff seems more up Key’s alley. Jinki opens his mouth to try to explain all of that in one sentence.

“Look, just,” Peach says, cutting him off before he can start. Leaf sighs, running their fingers through their hair. “Can I just… try some names and pronouns with you?” Leafs eyes hold a plea for help; Jinki closes his mouth with a heavy exhale of breath. He guesses that any advice is better than no advice. Letting Peach hear leafself referred to in different ways has nothing to do with Jinki’s own personal concept of gender.

“Yeah,” Jinki says. He can do that. “Yeah. So, Ace?”

“Mmm… yeah,” Ace agrees. “And, I think… maybe they?” Their uncertain frown turns into more of a serious pout. Jinki smiles reassuringly anyway. He turns to look at the ceiling, twiddling his thumbs as he thinks of what to say.

“So, today I hung out with Ace,” he says, glancing at Ace out of the side of his eye for a second. “They came to The Midpoint with Choi and Key and they were super cute from the moment they stepped out of the car. They got their ears pierced at Amber’s and Luna also said that they were cute.”

“Wait, she did?” Ace asks, reaching over to tap Jinki’s chair to get his attention. Jinki turns an amused smile to them and nods.

“Yeah,” he says. “You just didn’t see because she signed it to Choi. Those two have their own conversations all the time.” Technically he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping on them, but he just glanced over for a moment and saw the sentence.

“Oh,” Ace says, and leaves it at that and a flattered smile. Jinki exhales fondly and goes back to his summary of the day.

“So we and Ace all went chilling around the rest of the mall after that,” he says. “Jonghyun got them a rad new outfit and later they got peach ice cream and a strawberry muffin. And then they came with Choi and me to the electronics store, where they got a new laptop. And now here we are.” He ends his story with a weird muffled laugh at it’s lackluster conclusion. He did his best. Looking back to Ace, he finds them puffing up their lips, staring at the ceiling in thought. “How’d that feel?” Jinki hums. Ace hums back a kind of noncommittal noise.

“I feel like… mmmh…. Can you do that again, but call me ‘Tae’ instead?”

“No problem,” Jinki says easily. “Today I hung out with Tae. They came to The Midpoint with Choi and Key….”

And he continues; he finishes that paragraph and looks to Tae for their opinion. Tae hums, pouts, shrugs, asks to be called “Ace” with “ve” pronouns this time. Jinki does that, and then repeats it again as “Taeyeon” and “ve,” then “Taeyeon” and “they.” He cycles through names and pronouns, listening each time for how they make Taeyeon feel. They don’t like how “Tae” only has one syllable where they’re used to two. They still don’t feel like a “she” and “they” starts making them feel weird, but “he” feels alright, “ve” and “ne” are maybes, leaf pronouns are still good, and petal pronouns still feel off. No pronouns are good too, but they’d need more time to get used to the grammar. Jinki learns that he can’t pronounce “ze” pronouns correctly enough to save his fucking life without practise so Taeyeon just rules those out completely with a smothered laugh. “Taemin” a second time with “he” feels comfortable and good, but he isn’t sure if it’s just because that’s what he’s used to or not.

“I’m only ‘Jinki’ and ‘he’ because it’s what I was used to when I decided that gender was an illusion,” Jinki tells him after that observation, poking his shoulder helpfully. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” As long as they don’t actually make him feel dysphoric once he has everything figured out, anyway.

“Mmm,” Taemin hums. He checks his phone and taps some hearts onto Choi’s Periscope. “Also, all of this is based off of the whatever-the-fuck gender I’m feeling right now,” he mumbles. “It’ll probably all change when I fluid my way back to demiboy or girl again.” He sighs and drapes himself over the armrest of his chair. “I’m so fucked up.”

“Hey, don’t… say that,” Jinki says. He reaches over hesitantly to pat Taemin’s head. “Gender shit is complicated… and… I mean, you’ll figure it out eventually, and even if you don’t, that’s okay too, and--”

“Oh, no, I meant,” Taemin says, looking up and waving a hand to stop Jinki. “I know I’m only just starting to figure... like… everything good out, but. I meant, like… because of my parents, um. Because of how they--they um. Controlled what I wore, and looked like, and looked up, and didn’t let me have privacy, and t-told me I wasn’t--” He stops himself with a twitch, a shudder, a scrunched up face and a shake of the head.

When he drops his head back to the armrest and takes heavy breaths, Jinki gently pets through his hair the way he’s seen Jonghyun do. He feels equal parts guilty and sympathetic for this moment, but for once, just from those halted words, he actually gets what Taemin means.

“Hey, um,” he says softly. He turns his own chair vibrations off early because it’s starting to get numbing and distracting instead of comfortable. “They’re… not here,” he says. “You’re, um, safe. With me, and--and with everyone else,” he adds quickly. This feels awkward enough without him drawing his own attention to himself. He hopes he’s not fucking this up even more. He knew he should have asked Jonghyun about how to do this before it happened. “And, um,” he continues anyway. “They, um, can’t do any of those things to you anymore. And they never will again. Because, um. You’re safe. Like I said. Before. Still safe. Yeah.” He feels like he’s fucking this up even more.

He doesn’t know what to say after that. He feels like he covered all of the bases and he can’t remember if Jonghyun or Key ever repeat the grounding words they tell him, if that helps or not. He just stays silent, petting through Taemin’s hair. At least he was able to think of something to say. That’s better than last week. He feels like a hug would be appreciated right now too, but he can’t see either of them getting up at the moment.

Eventually, after a long few minutes, Taemin lifts his head and rubs his eyes. They’re not red or wet, but he still looks at Jinki with a shy kind of vulnerability that makes his entire soul want to protect him. And then, after barely more than a second, that look is gone, replaced by a blink and Taemin sitting up to lean back in his chair.

“Anyway,” he says, like despite his still shaky hands as he checks Choi’s Periscope he’s already moved on from that panic attack. “I think for now I’m just gonna. Be Taemin and he when I feel like Taemin, and Taeyeon and she when I feel like Taeyeon, and maybe just…. I’ll pick pronouns that feel nice and figure out a good name for when I have my whatever-the-fuck gender feels.” He shrugs. Jinki hums quietly. That seems extremely open and full of what-ifs to be a conclusion to this whole conversation, but Taemin probably knows that. It’s good enough for now and if it’s a temporary solution that he’s okay with, then that’s good.

“So, how are you feeling now?” he asks. “Still Taemin?”

“Ahh… mmm,” Taemin hums. “Ace. But I think ‘he’ pronouns would be okay.” He takes a deep, only slightly shaky breath and nods, like he’s confirming that to himself. Jinki smiles reassuringly at him.

“Alright then,” he says. “Can you--”

“Is it weird that I’ve had like three names in one day?” Ace asks suddenly. Jinki blinks at his bitten lip, his twitchy again hands.

“Uh,” he says blankly. “No.” Not at all. Technically Key has three names at a time every day. “Don’t apologize for any inconvenience you think trying to figure yourself out causes other people. “It’s nothing compared to what he’s going through. All he has to do is keep people updated on the changes when he remembers to and it’s fine. Ace blinks quickly at him, nervous fingers picking his nails, and then nods.

“Okay, yeah, sorry,” he mumbles. “What were you gonna say?”

“Um, just,” Jinki says. He frowns for a moment to remember. “I was gonna call you Ace casually to affirm your gender,” he says, holding up one finger and grinning at Ace’s excited little gasp. “And then ask where Choi was,” because he can’t imagine that they’re still looking for shit after what felt like a lifetime of talking. Ace gasps again, even softer this time, and tugs up his phone.

“They are….” he says, squinting at the livestream Choi still has going. “They’re--” He frowns, looks up, squints at the front of the store. “Oh,” he says. “They’re buying their stuff.” He points to one of the registers and Jinki follows his finger to find the tall babe indeed standing in line.

“Nice,” Jinki says. That means they get to go to the arcade soon. He turns his gaze back to the ceiling and tries to remember the third thing he was going to ask Ace. It was an important name question, about--“Oh,” he says, snapping his fingers with the memory. Ace hums in question and Jinki looks at him with curiosity. “Have you thought about what you’re gonna change your name to, like, legally?” he asks. He knows it’s only been a week, but he also knows that Ace wants to have his new legal name before he does any doctor appointments or job searching or anything. Just for comforts’ sake.

“Ooh,” Ace says, and Jinki is surprised to see an easy smile on his lips. “Yeah. Kind of. For the moment, unless I suddenly want to call myself, like, Ronaldo or something, I’m thinking just Taeyeon. Lee Taeyeon.” The name comes out of his lips with a smile and Jinki raises his eyebrows, confused and intrigued. Ace rubs his nose, self-conscious. “I know Taeyeon is really similar, which is why I’m still iffy about it, but,” he says. “I really like the name and it’ll be protected by the government and everything anyway.” He shrugs, but Jinki shakes his head. That’s not what he was surprised by.

“I thought you were gonna change ‘Lee’ to ‘Kim,’ too?” he asks. To match Jonghyun and Key and to really throw his parents off. Ace shrugs again, but this time taps his fingers a little nervously on his armrest.

“I was,” he says slowly. “But, I mean, then you would be the only Lee. I’d feel bad.” He smiles softly; Jinki laughs even softer, shaking his head fondly, flattered.

“That wouldn’t be so bad,” he says. “Choi’s the only Choi.”

“Yeah, but that’s like, their thing,” Ace says. He wiggles his fingers to emphasise the thing, which Jinki does have to admit is a good point. “I like being a Lee,” Ace says quietly. “It’s something that I have in common with you.”

“Oh,” Jinki says, and that’s all he can say, “oh,” before Ace smiles and checks his phone again.

“Jonghyun wants to know if we want popcorn?” he says, tilting his head curiously. He looks up and shows Jinki the text; Jinki stares blankly at the phone for a moment before shaking himself quickly back to focus.

“Um,” he says. Popcorn. That means he and Key are already at the arcade and have snuck through the back door to get food from the movie theatre attached without buying a ticket. “I--nah.” Something in the back of his mind reminds him that he hates movie theatre popcorn.

“Mmm, well, I want popcorn,” Ace mumbles, texting quickly back. Jinki sees several emojis in there but he hardly registers those either. He does not believe that Ace just dropped that confession on him and then continued on with things like it wasn’t one of the most personal and heartfelt things Jinki has ever heard in his life.

“Hey, come on,” Ace says. He stands up, stretches, and reaches for Jinki’s hand with a smile. “Choi’s at the front of the line.” Choi is at the front of the line and Jinki is still miles behind as Ace tugs him up and pulls him across the linoleum. He smiles a greeting at Choi, but watches Ace quietly, watches him bouncing with his laptop under his arm and a smile on his lips, and thinks back through the last week. Somewhere down the line, without him noticing it, he’d somehow become just as important to Ace as he’s been trying to be this whole time.

#ontae #onho #2min #taemin #jinki #onew #minho #jonghyun #key #kibum #moving day au #brotp #pg #Jinki Is Doing His Best #hes so ??? lost nd confused the lil bub but he just wants tae to feel nice

[crazyguru007]

The new Magic Keyboard for the iPad Pro is a very well-made, very expensive add-on for this tablet. It has this backlit keyboard here and a trackpad, finally, and when you open it up it sort of floats the iPad just so it ends up being a little bit closer to your eye holes. I am continually impressed with how well-built this thing is. And that is very good, since the 11-inch version costs $299, and this 12.9-inch version here costs 349. The Magic Keyboard though is just really well-executed. It does everything that it was designed to do. I’m just not totally sure that it was the right design in the first place. (upbeat music) But I wanna start out with what’s great about this keyboard. It’s the keyboard. The keys are scissor switches with a really solid feel, good travel, and a pretty decent chunk. I mean, give it a listen compared to the old Smart Keyboard for the iPad Pro. (keys clicking) It’s not bad, right. Now the keys, they’re not quite as stable as the brand-new Magic Keyboard on the 16-inch MacBook Pro, but whatever.

  These keys are great. I really enjoy typing on them, and they are backlit in the dark. But you can’t adjust the backlighting on the keyboard itself. You have to dig into the iPad Settings app, like way down in General. Now usually the keyboard lights are at the right brightness, so it’s not too big of a problem, but if you wanna watch a movie or something, it’s a real hassle to dig in there. And that hassle would’ve been solved if Apple had just included function row of keys above the number row of keys. But it didn’t, which is kind of annoying. But look, this keyboard is solid. There is no flex to it. It is incredibly stable when you open it up, and it also holds the iPad pretty securely too. It’s hard to get it outta there. And I really like how it does lift the screen up and bring it a little bit closer to your face than other laptops do. That’s not something that I realized that I wanted but it turns out I totally did. Plus, honestly, it does just kinda look cool floating there. It does pass-through charging through this USB-C port on the side here, but you can’t connect like data accessories to it. But that’s nice, it still means that you don’t have dopey charging cables hanging off the side of the middle here. The trackpad is also really good. It’s small by MacBook standards, but I had no problem getting used to it because I’ve used Surfacelaptops for a really long time. But this one is actually better than the trackpad on Surface laptops because you can click anywhere on the trackpad, and it’ll still click. It’s also really smooth. It just, it feels really nice. Now as far as trackpad support on iPad OS goes, I said before that I think apple basically nailed it. And it’s better to have a trackpad on a keyboard case now, so it’s like much more convenient. And, unlike the bridge keyboard, everything on this trackpad just works.

Gallery Images:

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The gestures for switching between apps are intuitive. I like how the cursor snaps to on-screen elements, to make them easier to click. And editing text is much better, mostly. Even though Apple has nailed it, a lot of other apps haven’t. Google Docs is still a mess on the iPad. And they’re a bunch of other apps that use non-standard UI elements that feel janky like you can’t swipe to archive stuff. Hopefully, that gets fixed. So great, right? What’s the problem? Well, there’s a few. The first is the weight. The Magic Keyboard is heavy. This 12.9-inch version when you’ve got it attached, the whole package weighs just shy of three pounds. That’s 25% heavier than the12.9-inch Smart Keyboard. It’s heavier than the iPad Air. It’s about the same weight as my MacBook Pro, my 13-inch MacBook Pro. But, it’s actually thicker than my 13-inch MacBook Pro, which eh. Now I don’t have a the11-inch version to test, but I think 25% heavier than the Smart Keyboard is like a safe bet. And, while the floating screen is great, the available angles on it are not. You could have it anywhere between 90 and 130 degrees, which actually isn’t that much. Look, I’m just gonna make a comparison here. And we’re just gonna sit with it together for a minute. This is my Surface Pro X. It runs Windows on ARM, and that’s not great for many reasons, I know. But we’re just talking about the hardware here. Now the screen on the Surface Pro X is about the same size. The trackpad is about the same size. But the Surface here has a keyboard with a function row on it, and, if you want, you can put it at nearly any angle that you want, almost completely flat. And if you wanna watch a movie or something, you can flip the keyboard behind it. And it’s thinner than the iPadPro with the Magic Keyboard, and it’s lighter. And, I don’t know, the webcam is in the right place. It’s a really good thing that everybody knows that these are different devices for different needs and different people so that there is no reason that the comparison between these two things that I just did is gonna cause any arguments at all. Here’s the thing. This is a very well-made keyboard.

  Apple made choices when they made it. They made a choice not to put a kickstand on the iPad itself. Fine. They made a choice about how this whole hinge thing would work, and if you agree with those choices, this thing is amazing. I’m just not sure that I do. I think that it’s just a little bit limiting. The big story with the iPad over the past two years is whether it’s a computer, or what kind of computer, or whatever. So look, I’m tired of that argument, but a lot of people are going to ask whether this Magic Keyboard makes the iPad a better computer. And I think that’s the wrong question. The right question is whether this keyboard makes the iPad a better iPad. I use it at my desk like a laptop, sitting in a chair just browsing around doing some light work, watching movies, or reading in bed, as a second screen for my Mac using Sidecar, as a second computer next to my Mac when my Mac is chugging. I just need to listen to some Spotify or whatever. You can even now, with the trackpad support, use the iPad as a desktop computer with an external monitor with your trackpad and your keyboard sitting in front of it. It can do a lot. Does the Magic Keyboardimprove all those situations, or does it add more situations to that stack? Yeah. It works really well when you’re at a desk, or you’re working in a chair because it feels like a laptop. And honestly, my favorite feature of this keyboard case is that it makes it easier to just grab the iPad and walk away with it. So I love this keyboard case ’cause it helps me not use a keyboard case. But it’s nice to use the iPad by itself.

  So honestly, since I’ve had this thing, this keyboard has sat on my desk most of the time. If you wanna turn your iPad into a laptop, there is nothing better for that than the Magic Keyboard. It is very well-made and expensive but maybe worth it for you. But to me, the iPad is great precisely because it does more than a laptop. It can do all of those other things. And the Magic Keyboard doesn’t really help with most of those. It’s kind of a one-trick pony, but, I have to admit, it’s a pretty good trick. Let’s just see. Let’s just, let’s just… (claps) Hey, what do you think, and thanks for watching. One of the things that happen when you record by yourself at home is you forget to record the end card, and your director, Vjeran, yells at you. So thanks for the reminder, buddy. Let me know what you think of the Magic Keyboard down in the comments below, and stay safe out there.

I Pad pro new keyboard The new Magic Keyboard for the iPad Pro is a very well-made, very expensive add-on for this tablet.

[sailorrrvenus]

I Bought the New iPad Pro So You Don’t Have To

I’m no stranger to the iPad. In fact, it once caused me not to get a job at an Apple store shortly after college. I was asked in an interview, “What do you think of the new iPad,” and I answered honestly (mistake number one in a job interview I would learn).

“I’m not sure how I feel about it, it doesn’t really do what I would want it to do.”

I didn’t get a call back for a second interview. Little did I know this would be the start of my rocky relationships with tablets.

In 2012, I bought refurbished a 32GB “New iPad.” With its retina screen, I told myself it would be the perfect portfolio alternative, and I could make myself look so cool by bringing a digital device to a client meeting, instead of a printed book.

“Who prints photos anymore? Clients will see me as cutting edge!”

That device currently is sitting on the floor next to my bed, unable to be updated past iOS 9, with a dead battery. I rarely use it anymore because of how slow it has become. And it certainly didn’t win me any clients. I think I may have used it professionally once or twice to have someone digitally sign a contract or a model release.

When the first iPad Pro was released I found myself holding it and thinking, “Well…it sure is big,” before using the newly launched apple pencil to crudely draw a penis on it and handing it back to my friend. I still didn’t see a good use for what was essentially a laptop without a keyboard.

Flash forward to 2017, where I found myself standing at the counter at my local Apple store looking at the three size options in front of me for “Pro” level iPads. I was sold (or so I told myself). I just needed to know what size fits me best. After a few hours of going back and forth with the demo models, I eventually decided to walk away. It just didn’t hold up to the experience I was getting from my laptop.

When the 2018 Apple announcement of the new iPad Pro came through, I once again found myself enamored with the idea of getting a laptop replacement. I studied the keynote, watched every review video, and made an appointment with myself to visit the apple store as soon as possible to play with one myself.

The idea that now this tablet was “more powerful than most PC laptops” and (would be) capable of running a “full” version of Photoshop really intrigued me.

The Tech Specs

To be fair, a lot of this section is pulled directly from Apple’s sales literature on the new iPad, and I will try my best to keep things brief here. This isn’t anything you can’t find for yourself with a quick Google search.

Liquid Retina display

11 or 12.9-inch (diagonal) LED-backlit Multi‑Touch display with IPS technology

2732-by-2048-pixel resolution at 264 pixels per inch (ppi)

ProMotion technology

Wide color display (P3)

True Tone display

A12X Bionic chip with 64-bit architecture

Neural Engine

Embedded M12 coprocessor

USB-C

10 hour battery life

New Apple Pencil with magnetic charging

I sent this photo to several people who knew how much I was dreading this purchase.

After another agonizing hour going back and forth with price and specs, I decided to pull the trigger on the 12.9” model with 256GB of storage, with the new Apple Pencil. $1,380.24 retail after estimated Atlanta taxes.

To be fair, I had a friend hook me up with an Apple Friends and Family discount, which brought my price down to a little under $1200 after tax. Even with the discount, this is a pretty large chunk of change to throw down on something that I didn’t even know if it would fit into my workflow properly.

Once the device was delivered to me an hour later, I rushed home and completed the setup process and began playing with my new toy. I was determined to make it work for me.

Pros

Just about everything with the design of the device

The 12.9” screen is gorgeous and, combined with the True Tone Technology and night shift, I found it very easy to use in a variety of lighting conditions. Never did it blow out my eyes when used in the dark.

The new Apple Pencil is very responsive and feels great in hand. The new magnetic charging system makes it a great way to store and charge.

Battery life is pretty good. Apple rates it at 10 hours, and with moderate usage, I was able to only drop down to around 50% before it was time for bed.

The refresh rate still makes me very happy. It feels snappy when I swipe between pages on the home screen, or between pages in a book or magazine. I am impressed at how smooth everything is.

All of this packed into a device that is a great size that fits comfortably in my hands.

And I’ll be the first person to say I have tiny hands.

iOS 12

For the most part, I am very happy with the latest version of iOS. When used on the iPad Pro it does a great job at coming VERY close to a desktop-class OS. For the average user who is looking for a laptop replacement or substitute, it makes for a pretty good argument against competing products.

USB-C (Kinda)

Apple choosing to move to a standardized charging/syncing solution is super smart. No more proprietary cables (for the most part), and if you are ok with dongles of varying sorts you can basically connect this device to just about anything (even if that connection can’t exactly do anything…more on this later). Even though I didn’t get a chance to try it, the ability to mirror to a 5K display was an impressive demo.

Cons

Price

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room straight away. This thing is not cheap. And for a similar price point, you are already into 13” Macbook territory. This makes the decision much harder when comparing side by side. Yes, technically you get more storage with the iPad, and that new processor supposedly is nothing to laugh at. But what you lose is RAM, and a FULL operating system (And at least for me, Capture One).

USB-C

For all the great things that the iPad pro can do with its new port, there is one HUGE thing that it can’t do. At the time of this writing, the USB-C port cannot be used to interface directly with an external hard drive. This is a huge bummer because, in order to be competitive with a traditional laptop, I can’t really get around needing expandable storage.

But, you say, “The cloud! Can’t you use the cloud?” And my response to this is a decided “Yes and No.”

I downloaded the WD MyCloud app onto the iPad. It’s the same app that I use to manage my personal cloud from the go on my phone. And while I was able to eventually download a file into the iPad for editing, it was far from an elegant experience.

Wait…where are my thumbnails?

While iOS 12 can support plenty of different RAW files, it can only read them while in the Photos app, unless specifically coded into each individual app. Even in the Files app, you can’t see any thumbnails by default.

I sure do hope I remember that SPECIFIC file name for the file I want to edit.

Now, once you download the file to your device, you can see a thumbnail just fine.

Too bad I’d have to import all of these into my camera roll first before I can see them.

Now I suppose this could be solved by a product like a Gnarbox or the Lacie DJI Co-Pilot since they have a computer of sorts built in for processing (RAW previews), and generally can interface with other apps nicely. But by that point, you are spending ANOTHER $299-$499 on top of the storage you already spent which further makes the argument for a traditional laptop.

The one thing I didn’t try was Tethering.

But unless I’m using the Lightroom app I don’t think this will work for me as intended as well. From what I have seen, connecting a camera basically just opens up the photos app and downloads files from the SD card on the camera. Not a direct tethered shooting solution that I am used to from Capture One.

I suppose you could also use the USB-C SD card reader, but then you are once again having to load every file directly onto the internal storage of the iPad itself. And then moving them back off for long-term archiving brings up a whole other conversation.

I think that the lack of USB-C mass storage support is something that Apple could (and hopefully will) fix in an upcoming version of iOS. This two-way data movement and storage would change a LOT of my feelings about the iPad Pro as it stands today.

Lack of “Desktop Strength” photo editing solutions

This is one “con” where I think things are ALMOST there. A “full” version of Adobe Photoshop will be coming next year, but Lightroom CC already has a large user-base and supposedly does a pretty good job. I’m still not sold, I don’t like Adobe’s charge per month model. It’s just not for me. And all of it adds to the overall cost ($120 a year). There are some cheaper (and single purchase) options available, however.

Affinity Photo has long been the Photoshop analog that many photographers have fallen in love with. At the time of this writing, however, Affinity Photo hasn’t been updated in over a month, and likely hasn’t been optimized for these new processors yet. I fully believe that the next version of Affinity will work just fine and will be a very speedy piece of software.

But for me, I found it to be a touch clunky and certainly when I was doing some basic retouching there were several times I had to wait 15 seconds or so while the app crunched the data.

For those who aren’t familiar with the Affinity Photo UI

Affinity isn’t a bad option at all, and I think that part of my problems with it was just in learning a new piece of software. And once I got rolling I feel that things went rather smoothly. With the exception that it took me over an hour to retouch the above file, and even then I’m not 100% happy with the results. But I’ll let you guys judge for yourselves.

Backup and Archiving Workflow

My final gripe comes after you export the files out. By default, most of the apps I have played with wanted to export everything back into the camera roll of the iPad itself. Which then, of course, leads to duplicate files and space being eaten up by final deliverables.

I found a way to move things manually back to my WD Cloud, but it wasn’t elegant and took some experimenting with to move everything over. Then I was still left with having to delete the file manually to free up space on the device itself.

Conclusion

I like the 2018 iPad Pro, I really do. But I’m not IN LOVE with it.

Ok, I’m lying. I do love it. I think it’s designed well, I think the screen and pencil are both great, I think the audio on it is some of the best I have heard across any device. I like the idea of having iOS on a larger screen, that is still light enough to carry around one-handed. I like all of the potential that comes from multitasking.

From an Apple fanboy perspective, I really do love this device.

I even used the Squarespace blog app to type some of this post!

But from a photographer standpoint, it falls short. For me. My workflow just can’t accommodate the iPad Pro as it currently stands. But it’s so close!

With a few simple changes (USB-C Mass Storage, RAW Support in the Files app, and more Pro “Desktop Level” Apps from the likes of Adobe, Capture One, etc) all of which could potentially come at a software level without the need of additional hardware.

For day to day web surfing, email, notes, and other media consumption I love what has come from this latest generation of iPad. This makes me excited for what is to come with lower-spec devices that I would likely use more frequently.

I was at a meeting today and loved using the iPad to take notes on, and I loved being able to quickly surf the Web and find info I needed. I really want to have this device in my life, but unfortunately…I’m probably going to return it.

I’m going to give it through the weekend to grow on me a little more, maybe do some more playing around to see if I can better fit things into my life. But at this moment right now, I just can’t justify paying $1200 for something that I can already do (arguably better) on my already paid for MacBook Pro. Thankfully Apple has a 14-day return period, because I would hate to have to try and re-sell this on the open market.

Maybe I’ll just wait a while and snatch up one of these once they hit the Refurbished section of the Apple store, or maybe grab one of last year’s models at a killer deal.

Or there is always next year’s model…

About the author: Blake Griffin is a photographer based in Atlanta, Georgia. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. Griffin runs UNEXPhotography and has his Bachelors of Arts with a concentration in film and photography, from Montana State University – Bozeman. You can find more of his work on his website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. This article was also published here.

source https://petapixel.com/2018/11/13/i-bought-the-new-ipad-pro-so-you-dont-have-to/

[gesteckt1]

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Acer’s Predator Helios 500 (See it on Amazon) is a high-end gaming laptop that has every part most people would put on their “dream machine” shopping list. It's got a fancy new Intel Core i9 CPU, a full-powered GeForce GTX 1070 GPU (as opposed to lower-clocked Max-Q unit), an SSD and a 2TB HDD, along with a 17.3-inch IPS panel with a 144Hz refresh rate, so it's stuffed with all the latest technology.This is the second laptop I’ve been able to test with Intel new Core i9 "Coffee Lake" CPU, but it's first that uses a "normal" sized chassis, so it'll be interesting to see if Acer was able to keep it running cool, as it can run a single core all the way up to a fiery 4.8GHz. Priced at $2,500, the high-end Helios 500 is a gaming workhorse slash desktop replacement, so it's going up against the latest from MSI, Asus, and Razer. I put it through its paces for a few weeks to see how it stacks up.I view the Helios 500 as a shapeshifter. Throughout testing I would see it on my desk from afar, and it looked exactly like the huge 17" laptop that it is. However, when I sat down and actually used it, it somehow felt smaller. That’s despite its extra large display, and a its XXL weight of 8.82-pounds. Yeah, this isn’t a laptop you’re going to want to carry around much.

The weight and size seem to be due to its extravagant cooling, which includes two Aeroblade 3D cooling fans, five heat pipes, and four exhausts. The benefit to all these fans and heat pipes is hopefully the ability to have large, slow-spinning fans that are barely audible. It's also a requirement, as this Helios 500 is packing an Intel Core i9-8950HK six-core CPU, which tops out at 4.8GHz with TurboBoost. That makes it the highest clocked mobile CPU in existence, and this CPU is pretty notorious for running really hot as well. The CPU works in combination with an Nvidia GeForce GTX 1070 GPU, 16GB of DDR4 memory, a 512GB SSD for the OS and a 2TB SATA hard drive for data. Both memory and storage can be upgraded easily, and memory maxes out at a very generous 64GB.

The Helios 500 has a full-sized RGB backlit keyboard with four lighting zones and a number pad. Just above the left-side of the keyboard are five shortcut buttons for tasks like launching Acer’s PredatorSense gaming software, or overclocking the processor. The shortcut and the power buttons are backlit as well, but aren’t included in personalized color schemes. A touchpad is centered with the keyboard and not the laptop’s housing, making it easier to use, and has two physical buttons just beneath it. On the outside, the Helios 500’s design consists of various geometrical shapes and edges — particularly on the backside where part of the exhaust system is located. Also on the back is an HDMI 2.0 port, a full-sized Display Port, and the charging port.The left side of the housing holds an ethernet port, a USB 3.0 ports that offers charging even when the laptop is closed, and two Thunderbolt ports. The Thunderbolt ports come in handy for connecting another display or an external hard drive, or heck, you could even using a USB-C cable to charge your phone. The right side has two more USB 3.0 ports and audio ports.

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Overall, Acer provides a welcome selection of ports, and I'm referring to both the number, types, and locations. All the bases are covered, and they’re not all crammed onto one side or the back of the housing. After using laptops with all kinds of crazy port configurations, I’ve grown fond of the three-sided approach that Acer uses. It gives you options, and room to plug in a few peripherals on each side so that you don't overload one side of your desk with cables and dongles. It's a smart approach, and kudos to Acer for doing it right.Prior to the Helios 500, I had only tested one laptop with an Intel Core i9 CPU, and it was a monster — the MSI GT75 Titan. Beyond overall size, the biggest difference between the Helios 500 and the MSI GT75 Titan is that the GT75 boasted a GTX 1080 and 32GB of DDR4 memory, as opposed to the Helios' GTX 1070 and 16GB of DDR4 memory. I didn’t include the GT75 Titan in the benchmark comparison chart for that reason. Instead, I’m comparing the Helios 500 to the Digital Storm Equinox, the ASUS ROG Zephyrus, the MSI GS65, and the all-new Razer Blade 15. All three feature an 8th generation Coffee Lake CPU, and although it's the lower-clocked i7-8750H version, it's still a six-core CPU.

As you can see in the results, the Helios 500 outperformed the other laptops by a decent margin, which isn't that surprising since it is expensive, weights twice as much as them, and has a higher-end CPU and GPU. Still, it's not that much more expensive, so you seem to be getting some horsepower in exchange for those extra dollars. Also, there’s been a lot of attention about Intel’s Core i9 CPU and its use in a laptop chassis. Specifically, when it launched plenty of ink was spilled over its thermal throttling in Apple's MacBook Pro. That issue was resolved with an update by Apple, but I wanted to see if there would be any throttling in this chassis. I used Intel’s Extreme Tuning Utility as it allows you to run a stress test on the CPU, and notifies you of any throttling in real-time.In my tests there was some throttling, with a rough average of 3.7GHz under full load. This was the clock speed regardless of the Overclocking setting I selected in the PredatorSense app. Without the stress test running, and with Turbo CPU performance selected in the PredatorSense app, throttling didn’t occur until 4.3GHz, which is pretty good for a laptop.

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With that out of the way, let’s talk about what really matters on a machine like this: Gaming.Switching between Fortnite, PlayerUnknown’s Battleground (PUBG), I consistently saw performance over 100 frames per second. On PUBG, that number was over 130 fps throughout the entire match when on High settings. On Ultra settings, for both Fortnite and PUBG, I would see the frame counter hover around 120 fps.The 144Hz display combined with persistently high frames per second provided an incredibly smooth experience overall. I failed to pick up on any stuttering or dropped frames as textures are rendered when dropping into a match. Color quality and saturation were spot on to my eyes.

At first, I played various matches with headphones and relied on the Helios 500's speakers, and ultimately stuck to headphones only. The speakers are certainly loud, until the fans turn on in full force. Once that happens, only things like nearby gunshots and cars driving by can be heard. However the more delicate sounds like footsteps or someone building are overpowered.That said, I do need to commend Acer for the cooling system in the Helios 500. When testing a laptop, I typically feel around the chassis to see if there are any hot spots. At no time during my use did I find a spot that was overly hot to the touch. That's quite an accomplishment on a Core i9 laptop.With 512GB of SSD storage, and another 2TB of hard drive storage, you have more than enough room to install a handful of games on the SSD, with more space for movie and music libraries on the hard drive.

Finally, one aspect I had to adjust to was the overall height of the keyboard. Since the Helios is 1.51-inches thick, it forced me to hold my wrists at an awkward angle for typing and gaming. Over the course of a few days, I was eventually acclimated to it, but it did give me a whole new appreciation for thinner gaming laptops beyond just portability.With great performance comes really bad battery life. That’s the saying, right? No? Well, it should be. The Helios 500 is supposed to have up to 3.5 hours of battery power, depending on the workload. My testing consisted of looping a movie until the laptop turns off, and it resulted in a measly 91 minutes of runtime. Most gaming laptops usually run for about two or three hours, though the Razer Blade 15 is the exception with its astonishing battery life. All that said, the Helios 500’s battery life is below average, and it's a shame.

[ramialkarmi]

Now is the worst time to buy any MacBook laptop from Apple

It is currently the worst time to buy a new MacBook laptop directly from Apple.

By MacBook laptop, I'm not just talking about the lightweight and portable MacBook. I'm referring to any model that Apple currently offers on its main website. That includes the early 2015 MacBook, the early 2015 MacBook Pro, the mid-2107 MacBook Pro, and the 2015/2017 MacBook Air. 

It's not just a question of age, even though age is a major reason why it's not a good idea to buy some of these laptops. Some of Apple's latest models also have unreliable keyboards, and it's not an easy or cheap fix to get it repaired once the warranty runs out. 

Check out why it's not a good idea to buy any of the laptops you can buy directly from Apple right now:

SEE ALSO: Buying a MacBook Pro from Apple's Refurbished Mac store was the best decision I made when getting a new computer

The current MacBook Pro models have unreliable keyboards that could cost you a lot of money to repair.

Just about everything about Apple's recent crop of 2016 and 2017 MacBook Pros is great. The Touch Bar might be a little divisive, but you can buy models without the Touch Bar, or ignore it altogether. And the fact these models only come with USB-C ports is also a little divisive, but Apple isn't likely to add all the ports from older models back onto its upcoming laptops. 

The major thing that's getting a lot of negative attention is Apple's new "butterfly"- style keyboard on the newer 2016 and 2017 models. It's a new design that lets Apple make thinner laptops, and it supposedly offers a better typing experience.

But some users – myself included – have reported that certain keys stop becoming responsive. AppleInsider also reported that the 2016 MacBook Pro keyboards with the butterfly-style keyboards were failing twice as often as older models. 

In my 2016 MacBook pro, the "G" key became unreliable and would often skip when I pressed it. I brought it to the Apple store to get repaired, and thankfully it was still under warranty. Apple couldn't simply replace the "G" key. It had to replace the entire top portion of my MacBook Pro, including the battery. An out-of-warranty repair can cost upwards of $700, according to AppleInsider. 

Hopefully Apple fixes the keyboard issues in its next MacBook Pros. There's no way of telling if they are, but if you're looking for a new MacBook Pro now, it's worth waiting until Apple comes out with new models to see if Apple resolves the keyboard issues. 

The older MacBook Pro model you can buy, which has a better keyboard, is too old to justify its $2,000 price tag.

You can buy an older 2015 15-inch MacBook Pro from Apple for $2,000, which still has an older-but-reliable keyboard. 

The problem with the 2015 model is that it's from 2015. That means it's running on parts that are almost three years old. 

Now, that said, the three-year-old components in the 2015 MacBook Pro will work just fine, even in 2018. It won't be as fast or future-proof as the recent models, but it'll handle basic tasks well. But the other problem linked to the older parts is that the 2015 model still costs a whopping $2,000, which is a poor deal for an older computer, especially if you just want to run basic apps like a web browser, or if you plan on using the laptop for several years. 

The MacBook Air is also too old, and there are rumors that Apple will soon announce an updated model.

The MacBook Air is Apple's cheapest MacBook laptop at $1,000, but it's an old and tired laptop in 2018. 

The latest model that was refreshed in 2017 doesn't actually have 2017 parts. It's running on a 5th-generation Intel processor from 2014. To give you an idea, Intel is currently on its eighth generation of processors in 2018. 

Even for $1,000 – Apple's cheapest MacBook computer – the MacBook Air is bad value. It has a lower resolution display that basically looks fuzzy compared to Apple's recent laptops with the company's "Retina" display. The MacBook Air display also has comparatively poor color and contrast compared to the Retina displays on more recent MacBook laptops. 

Plus, it's rumored that Apple will soon release a new MacBook Air sometime in 2018. So, if you're looking for a portable and capable machine like the MacBook Air, it's worth waiting to see if Apple comes out with a newer model with better specs. 

See the rest of the story at Business Insider

#Tech Insider #Arab #Entrepreneurship #sillicon alley insider

[blog-totallystupendousbouqu-blog]

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We asked 10 American teens about Trump, the American Dream, ‘Finstas,’ and their fears for the future

Those who make up Generation Z — generally defined as those born after 1995 — are coming of age after the Great Recession and the September 11, 2001 attacks. They do not remember a US president before Barack Obama, or life without the iPhone. Everything has always been one tap away.

At approximately 60 million, Generation Z Americans outnumber millennials by nearly 1 million. Compared with their predecessors, members of Gen Z are true digital natives, with 92% having a digital footprint on social media and the web. But that doesn't mean they overshare. Teens are more likely to curate their profiles than their parents, who just put everything up.

They're also highly entrepreneurial (72% of teens say they want to start a business someday) and are working and driving less than past generations. Nearly half of Gen Z is also not white, making it the most ethnically diverse generation in history.

And while many American adults identify as being on either the right or the left on the political spectrum, a 2016 survey of 150,000 teens found that most say they are both: socially liberal and moderate but also moderate to conservative financially.

"They want a balanced budget, but they want universal healthcare — things that other generations have seen as opposing or a choice. They see them as one or want both," Corey Seemiller, a Wright State University professor who studies Gen Z, told Business Insider.

But, as with any generation, there's a great amount of diversity within teenage America, too.

Business Insider spoke with teens from across the US with different hometowns, political views, and socioeconomic backgrounds about their lifestyles, hopes, and worries.

Below, check out personal stories from 10 American teens, who are trying to create America's future right now.

SEE ALSO: Teens from across the country reveal the 11 companies they think are cool

Max Doocy, 17 — A male, Catholic feminist with two moms

In his conservative town of Omaha, Nebraska, Max helps lead a club that started in the '70s, called Prep Accepts, at his Catholic high school. The club acts as a space where students discuss how to make the school more inclusive. Topics include abortion, racism, and same-sex marriage — the latter of which is personally significant to Max, who has two gay moms, Carol and Laura.

But in 2015, the school threatened to shut the club down after wealthy donors in the area said they would withdraw funding. Max immediately sent a letter to the local archbishop and met with the school president, who reinstated Prep Accepts. This school year, Max said more white, non-LGBT students showed up to meetings.

Tell me about where you live. What do you like most about it?

"There's a lot of businesspeople and a lot of old money and not as many cornfields as people think. Omaha is known for mansions, because they're much cheaper here. Coming from California, we bought a 7,000-square-foot house with seven bedrooms for the amount of money a down payment was in Alameda ... I like that it has a small-town feel. People are really nice to each other — and let you cut them off in traffic and not freak out."

Do you feel like you fit in?

"I don't like how conservative it is. People are usually open-minded, but religion is used as a basis for being judgmental."

Have you ever faced discrimination? 

"I went to a Catholic elementary school. When it went public that I have two moms, it was a big problem. [The students] were called to the church on campus, and the archbishop of our area talked about how homosexuality and homosexual actions are against God and that as a church community they needed to come together and act against it and not support families who support it, and that was pretty much me ... I remember sitting there thinking, 'What does this mean for my family? How do I deal with it?'" 

Are you a feminist?

"Yep. It's something that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable, but I would not think twice about answering that as a 'yes.'"

Do you think the American dream is still alive?

"Yeah, I think so. I think it is what you make of it. If you want to think that it's not, it won't be. But if you think it is and work for it, anything is open."

Kai Morton, 18 — A coder who wants to make social change

Kai programmed her first video game when she was 11 years old on a big, purple, clunky laptop. In the game, players jump from platform to platform to collect bugs.

Today, at 18, she knows 15 coding languages and is learning how to develop iOS apps. She is focusing on making apps for social change in San Francisco, including one that connects restaurants that have excess food with food banks. Kai was also the inspiration for Black Girls Code, a national organization founded by her mother that encourages young African-American women to pursue tech careers.

Tell me about where you live. What does your bedroom look like?

"I live in an apartment on the fourth floor. My bedroom has a bed in the middle with lights over it. And then I have a desk with a giant computer with three monitors. Under my desk, I have my old laptop, iPad Pro, an iPad mini, a gigantic drawing tablet, another drawing tablet that's portable, and a huge pile of books. Next to my bed, I have a bass guitar, an amp, and two Xboxes. And in my closet I have every 'Goosebumps' book in existence."

How much time do you spend online per day?

"A lot. At least 70% of the day I think."

How do you use social media? What do you try to portray to people online?

"When I first got my Instagram account, it was all about posting what I was doing. But now, it's about creating your own aesthetic for your page and thinking when and what you want to post and what you want your image to be and how you want people to view you ... I want my photos to be good and portray my image and personality well. I see my mom's generation post a lot more random stuff ... I don't have a finsta [a secret, less curated Instagram account], but all my friends do."

What are you worried most about for your future?

"Getting into tech, I'm realizing that things are never going to be easy as a black woman. In STEM, and especially in the tech world, it's harder for women to have a voice, because it's been dominated by this white, male stereotype for so long ... But I'm not taking it as a disadvantage. I'm taking it as an opportunity to be the first and change the image that it's not just this white, male field. Hopefully a little girl interested in STEM will see me and feel inspired to not give up their dreams."

What would an ideal world would look like to you, 10 years from now?

"Finding a way to get humanity back into having moral values. Of course, it's hard to say 'no discrimination, no racism, and no prejudice,' because those are hard things. If we're talking about a utopia, I'd love to see less discrimination and diversity in all fields where anyone can see themselves reflected."

Joseph Touma, 19 — A conservative who wants to bridge the nation's political divide

One afternoon at a summer program, Joseph and his friend Clara Nevins were in a heated debate about climate change. Joseph, a West Virginia Republican, wants limited government regulations, while Clara, a California Democrat, values environmental regulation. They realized though, after they listened to each other, that they were able to understand each other's point of view more clearly.

Clara and Joseph founded an organization, called Bridge the Divide, that aims to make an increasingly polarized America recognize common ground. Its site features message boards where young people can debate political issues, and BTD has 100 student ambassadors in 22 countries.

Tell me about where you live.

"I've lived since I can remember in Huntington [West Virginia]. One of most notable, negative things about it is that there's an opioid epidemic. Some people call it the 'heroin capital of the world.' Just the other day, I was downtown, and the police pulled up and there were 50 or 60 needles all over the street. You see more and more of that every day. But we're also a community of resiliency and bouncing back."

How did you form your political views?

"My parents are very moderate but more recently have been becoming more conservative. I think they played a big role in me having the beliefs I have today, but they don't have all the same beliefs I do ... For example, I think that legalizing marijuana is not a bad thing. I don't plan on smoking marijuana, but it would be a great source of income for our state ... That's something my parents don't agree with me on."

What do you and your friends disagree on?

"I was talking with someone who was saying, 'We need to remember, members of ISIS are people too, and they have reasons behind their demands.' And I didn't see it the way she's seeing it, and she didn't change my perspective, but it was definitely a revelation to me."

What would an ideal world look like to you, 10 years from now?

"[Right now] while our leaders are at each other's throats, it's interesting how [teens] can be so loving to one other and civil. But for some reason, in the grander scheme of things, we are enemies ... In an ideal world, there would be an end to violence of any type, whether it's country-versus-country or individuals on the street."

See the rest of the story at Business Insider

#Tech Insider #Arab #Entrepreneurship #sillicon alley insider

[ramialkarmi]

10 teens across America reveal what their lives are like and what they think about the country

Those who make up Generation Z — generally defined as those born after 1995 — are coming of age after the Great Recession and the September 11, 2001 attacks. They do not remember a US president before Barack Obama, or life without the iPhone. Everything has always been one tap away.

At approximately 60 million, Generation Z Americans outnumber millennials by nearly 1 million. Compared with their predecessors, members of Gen Z are true digital natives, with 92% having a digital footprint on social media and the web. But that doesn't mean they overshare. Teens are more likely to curate their profiles than their parents, who just put everything up.

They're also highly entrepreneurial (72% of teens say they want to start a business someday) and are working and driving less than past generations. Nearly half of Gen Z is also not white, making it the most ethnically diverse generation in history.

And while many American adults identify as being on either the right or the left on the political spectrum, a 2016 survey of 150,000 teens found that most say they are both: socially liberal and moderate but also moderate to conservative financially.

"They want a balanced budget, but they want universal healthcare — things that other generations have seen as opposing or a choice. They see them as one or want both," Corey Seemiller, a Wright State University professor who studies Gen Z, told Business Insider.

But, as with any generation, there's a great amount of diversity within teenage America, too.

Business Insider spoke with teens from across the US with different hometowns, political views, and socioeconomic backgrounds about their lifestyles, hopes, and worries.

Below, check out personal stories from 10 American teens, who are trying to create America's future right now.

SEE ALSO: Teens from across the country reveal the 11 companies they think are cool

Max Doocy, 17 — A male, Catholic feminist with two moms

In his conservative town of Omaha, Nebraska, Max helps lead a club that started in the '70s, called Prep Accepts, at his Catholic high school. The club acts as a space where students discuss how to make the school more inclusive. Topics include abortion, racism, and same-sex marriage — the latter of which is personally significant to Max, who has two gay moms, Carol and Laura.

But in 2015, the school threatened to shut the club down after wealthy donors in the area said they would withdraw funding. Max immediately sent a letter to the local archbishop and met with the school president, who reinstated Prep Accepts. This school year, Max said more white, non-LGBT students showed up to meetings.

Tell me about where you live. What do you like most about it?

"There's a lot of businesspeople and a lot of old money and not as many cornfields as people think. Omaha is known for mansions, because they're much cheaper here. Coming from California, we bought a 7,000-square-foot house with seven bedrooms for the amount of money a down payment was in Alameda ... I like that it has a small-town feel. People are really nice to each other — and let you cut them off in traffic and not freak out."

Do you feel like you fit in?

"I don't like how conservative it is. People are usually open-minded, but religion is used as a basis for being judgmental."

Have you ever faced discrimination? 

"I went to a Catholic elementary school. When it went public that I have two moms, it was a big problem. [The students] were called to the church on campus, and the archbishop of our area talked about how homosexuality and homosexual actions are against God and that as a church community they needed to come together and act against it and not support families who support it, and that was pretty much me ... I remember sitting there thinking, 'What does this mean for my family? How do I deal with it?'" 

Are you a feminist?

"Yep. It's something that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable, but I would not think twice about answering that as a 'yes.'"

Do you think the American dream is still alive?

"Yeah, I think so. I think it is what you make of it. If you want to think that it's not, it won't be. But if you think it is and work for it, anything is open."

Kai Morton, 18 — A coder who wants to make social change

Kai programmed her first video game when she was 11 years old on a big, purple, clunky laptop. In the game, players jump from platform to platform to collect bugs.

Today, at 18, she knows 15 coding languages and is learning how to develop iOS apps. She is focusing on making apps for social change in San Francisco, including one that connects restaurants that have excess food with food banks. Kai was also the inspiration for Black Girls Code, a national organization founded by her mother that encourages young African-American women to pursue tech careers.

Tell me about where you live. What does your bedroom look like?

"I live in an apartment on the fourth floor. My bedroom has a bed in the middle with lights over it. And then I have a desk with a giant computer with three monitors. Under my desk, I have my old laptop, iPad Pro, an iPad mini, a gigantic drawing tablet, another drawing tablet that's portable, and a huge pile of books. Next to my bed, I have a bass guitar, an amp, and two Xboxes. And in my closet I have every 'Goosebumps' book in existence."

How much time do you spend online per day?

"A lot. At least 70% of the day I think."

How do you use social media? What do you try to portray to people online?

"When I first got my Instagram account, it was all about posting what I was doing. But now, it's about creating your own aesthetic for your page and thinking when and what you want to post and what you want your image to be and how you want people to view you ... I want my photos to be good and portray my image and personality well. I see my mom's generation post a lot more random stuff ... I don't have a finsta [a secret, less curated Instagram account], but all my friends do."

What are you worried most about for your future?

"Getting into tech, I'm realizing that things are never going to be easy as a black woman. In STEM, and especially in the tech world, it's harder for women to have a voice, because it's been dominated by this white, male stereotype for so long ... But I'm not taking it as a disadvantage. I'm taking it as an opportunity to be the first and change the image that it's not just this white, male field. Hopefully a little girl interested in STEM will see me and feel inspired to not give up their dreams."

What would an ideal world would look like to you, 10 years from now?

"Finding a way to get humanity back into having moral values. Of course, it's hard to say 'no discrimination, no racism, and no prejudice,' because those are hard things. If we're talking about a utopia, I'd love to see less discrimination and diversity in all fields where anyone can see themselves reflected."

Joseph Touma, 19 — A conservative who wants to bridge the nation's political divide

One afternoon at a summer program, Joseph and his friend Clara Nevins were in a heated debate about climate change. Joseph, a West Virginia Republican, wants limited government regulations, while Clara, a California Democrat, values environmental regulation. They realized though, after they listened to each other, that they were able to understand each other's point of view more clearly.

Clara and Joseph founded an organization, called Bridge the Divide, that aims to make an increasingly polarized America recognize common ground. Its site features message boards where young people can debate political issues, and BTD has 100 student ambassadors in 22 countries.

Tell me about where you live.

"I've lived since I can remember in Huntington [West Virginia]. One of most notable, negative things about it is that there's an opioid epidemic. Some people call it the 'heroin capital of the world.' Just the other day, I was downtown, and the police pulled up and there were 50 or 60 needles all over the street. You see more and more of that every day. But we're also a community of resiliency and bouncing back."

How did you form your political views?

"My parents are very moderate but more recently have been becoming more conservative. I think they played a big role in me having the beliefs I have today, but they don't have all the same beliefs I do ... For example, I think that legalizing marijuana is not a bad thing. I don't plan on smoking marijuana, but it would be a great source of income for our state ... That's something my parents don't agree with me on."

What do you and your friends disagree on?

"I was talking with someone who was saying, 'We need to remember, members of ISIS are people too, and they have reasons behind their demands.' And I didn't see it the way she's seeing it, and she didn't change my perspective, but it was definitely a revelation to me."

What would an ideal world look like to you, 10 years from now?

"[Right now] while our leaders are at each other's throats, it's interesting how [teens] can be so loving to one other and civil. But for some reason, in the grander scheme of things, we are enemies ... In an ideal world, there would be an end to violence of any type, whether it's country-versus-country or individuals on the street."

See the rest of the story at Business Insider

#Tech Insider #Arab #Entrepreneurship #sillicon alley insider