#this year is the year of art thing resurfacing huh. ink and now this... well! its fun to see

[pr-writingdump]

Soda: there’s so many babies on tumblr!! How is this possible? They are all so f-ing talent. POP!!??

Pop bolts up from sleeping on the couch. The sleep still fresh in his eyes as they wipe away the crusties. It takes them a moment to focus on what Soda’s saying.

Pop: huh, wut?

Soda: just take it!

Pop: so... they’re all teenagers. What about it?

Soda: look how many notes they have!

Pop: I guess. So what?

Soda: URGH! They’re obviously popular.

Pop:

Soda: I wanna be popular! I bet they have lots of friends.

*Pop breaks into laughter*

Soda: I’m serious!

Pop: XD and that’s seriously hilarious. What’s wrong with your own art? I think it’s pretty great.

Soda: yeah, but I got no notes.

Pop:

Soda: okay! I got some notes but not nearly enough.

*Pop deflates*

Pop: that’s not what I meant.

Soda: just urgh! I don’t get why the system thinks these kids are better than me. I worked hard and I’m like a decade older than them. I should at LEAST get a couple more notes.

Pop: and what’s a couple more notes gonna mean? Like concrete things.

Soda: idk, means people will like my art.

Pop: and??..

Soda: and.. er.. I’ll get stuff? Like admiration and appreciation.

Pop: you know for sure that notes will do this?

Soda: that’s not what I said!

Pop: but it’s what you’re implying.

*Soda rolls their eyes*

Pop: Soda, I really sympathize with what you’re going through just.. don’t you think this is a little obsessive.

Soda:

Pop: I know you didn’t exactly get encouragement when you were their age.

*Soda humourless laughs.*

Soda: that’s puting it lightly

Pop: And.. I don’t think some website mechanics should be the judge of how good your art is.

Soda: that’s all and good for you. You can actually go out and “share” your art. Mine doesn’t share well without people investing time in it.

Pop: true, but, you made art long before anything hit the page. Remember your planned dreams?

At this, Soda starts to break into an intense blush. They mumble about something with the kitchen and start working on the dishes. Pop leans over the side of the couch.

Pop: from what I recall, you had a particular affinity for Jackie Chan Adventures and X-Men Evolution?

Soda: just don’t

Pop: why not? I thought those stories were pretty good.

Soda: urgh! They were just stupid.

Pop: *low voice* Soda...

Soda: what!!? They were. They were stupid-ass stories with my OC jammed in there. Also, just because I kinda had a plotline doesn’t mean it was a fanfiction. I never wrote anything down———

Soda freezes as Pop places down a reference photo. It was the same one with the torn corner and water damaged color ink page. The creese marks that divided it into quarters were like it was folded yesterday.

Soda: I told YOU to leave it where it belongs.

*Pop defensively pulls it away*

Pop: no, you aren’t throwing it away. Glaedr Xavier wouldn’t.

A blush starts to form in earnest but Soda manages to collect themself before it gets from cheek to cheek.

Pop: I’m not bringing this up to shame ya or anything. I’m just sayin’ to hear me out. You were young once.

Pop is careful to unfold the delacate decade old paper. They flatten out the water damaged edges the best they can. Their gaze crosses it with such care that it leaves Soda speechless.

Pop: these kiddos are just like little GX.

*Tears swell in Soda’s eyes*

Soda: I wasn’t like them. I couldn’t do any of shit they’re doing even if I tried.

Soda looks at their feet as they sniffle. The tears start to come down in earnest as it clouds their vision. They hated bringing up the past. Even more, they hated when Pop got like this. Pop was so always so sentimental about what happened. Sentimentaliy is for things, not stupid dumb memories of a stupid kid who had their head so far up their ass that they wouldn’t make any art just because—

Soda’s thoughts are interrupted as Pop unfurls Soda’s hands and lets them hold the momento, knowing full well now that Pop resurfaced all those memories that Soda couldn’t ball it up and throw it away.

Soda: you’re an asshole. ya know that, right?

*Pop shrugs*

Pop: say what you will but you know it’s true.

Pop holds up their sleeve. Soda leans into Pop as they wipe away the tears. Soda steps back. They glance over the images over and over again as the memories come flooding back. They’d store hour long plotlines that they’d play out like movies over and over again before bed. They did it so much that they learned to fight in their dreams.

When they inevitably started making art, they loved having a detailed recreation of their scene within their head with color, backgrounds, set pieces, choreography and general facial expressions. They just hated to admit how long they’d been making that art. It must’ve been two or three years before they put pen to paper.

Just.. just... so many barriers to entry. So many mental hoops to jump through.

It made them want to laugh at the irony for what ACTUALLY made them start. What actually made them share and put their stuff out there. It was about as childish as what held them back.

Jealousy, Envy and Inferiority.

They saw their dear friend write what they considered drivel and were determined that they could do art better. To be better than one other artist. To be superior to someone else even if just in their mind.

Remembering it now, it just makes Soda feel gross. Were they really letting the envy go to their head again? Were they letting it stop them from trying at all? Starting from a toxic place is one thing, we all start where we start but... the idea of ending over something that wasn’t a desire of Soda’s own wasn’t something Soda could take lying down.

Pop: soda? You alright, buddy?

Soda: i——i.. I need a minute.

Pop: should I——

Soda: ——-yeah.

Pop: see ya around.

Pop leaves the apartment. Everything goes quiet or.. as quiet as it could. Soda listens for the soft breathing of the shy kitty still huddled under the couch. Though, the roar of the dehumidifier fan in the bathroom made it challenging to hear the kitty’s labored breathes.

Soda gently cradles their head. Today was alot. Yesterday was lot. The mere idea of tomorrow seems like a mountain they’d inevitably fall on just like a Papyrus vs a Frisk. It makes Soda sick with anticipation.

Still, their soul glows with a soft warmth. They can’t deny that they feel at peace.. for now.

#soda and pop #2020feb #artists on tumblr #younger artists #jealousy #envy #inferiority #toxic #projection

[utanoprincendymion]

Sailor Rare Pair Day 4: AU

Pairing: Setsuna x Usagi

AU: Single Parents

"I love you, sweetie, have a great day," Setsuna said, kissing Hotaru on both cheeks before the little girl ran off to find Chibiusa.

"Love you, Mama!" Hotaru called over her shoulder.

"I'll see you tonight!" Setsuna called from the doorway, her voice trailing off into a sigh.

Usagi giggled, stepping out onto the porch with Setsuna. "They grow up so fast, huh?"

The older woman sighed again, straightening her pencil skirt as she stood. "Don't remind me. It still feels like yesterday that Chibiusa was born."

"Well, technically it's next week," Usagi teased. When Setsuna leveled her with a flat look, she continued. "But yeah, I can't believe it's been three years." Usagi's voice grew quieter, and her gaze became distant.

Setsuna put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "He would be proud, Usagi. She's a wonderful, precious little girl. And you... you're the best mother I know."

Usagi smiled weakly. "Thanks, Setsuna." After a moment, her smile grew genuine as she nudged her friend's shoulder. "But give yourself more credit. I may stay home with the kids, but you go out there every day and work hard in that lab, and you still raise Hotaru. I'm sure Dr. Tomoe would be happy you adopted Hotaru."

Setsuna smiled fondly at the thought of her mentor. "He was a good man. And Hotaru is an angel."

"Chibiusa is a little devil, I'll tell you," Usagi complained, knowing she and Setsuna might otherwise spend all day stuck in their memories. "Just last night, she got past the babylock on the pantry and ate a whole sleeve of cookies." Usagi sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Poor thing made herself sick."

Setsuna laughed. "I'll see about picking up more cookies on the way back from work." Setsuna brushed a strand of hair back over her shoulder, smiling fondly at Usagi. "Do you need any art supplies?"

"Well..." Usagi began with a light blush, "I am running low on black ink and screentone. And if you could pick up a kneaded eraser..."

Setsuna smiled. "Of course." She bent down and scooped up her briefcase. "I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yep!" Usagi beamed. "Mako-chan taught me how to make a new dish."

"What dish?"

Usagi's smile grew into a playful smirk. "I guess you'll have to wait and see."

Setsuna chuckled, her eyes soft. "Very well. I'll see you tonight."

"See you then," Usagi called, waving as she watched Setsuna return to the car. She continued to wave as her gaze followed the silver car as far as her eyes could see. When the car was out of sight, Usagi sighed peacefully, her smile as soft as the pink haze of the morning sky.

When she turned back to the house, she groaned, running her hands down her face. "Get it together, Usa," she told herself. "You've got kids to feed and a deadline to meet. No time for wishful thinking."

She took off for the kitchen and pulled the pancake batter out of the fridge. A few minutes and a full plate of pancakes later, she called, "Who wants pancakes?"

Almost instantly, she heard Chibiusa and Hotaru shouting, "Me!" as little feet came running. Usagi set the plates and sippy-cups on the table, giggling.

....

Setsuna stared into the microscope and sighed for what felt like the 30th time that morning. Now was not the time for her feelings to be resurfacing. Her team was in the middle of what could be the most promising breakthrough of their careers.

"But Usagi looked so cute in that apron," her brain interjected. Setsuna pushed back from the microscope and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was never going to get her work done at this rate. She was too gay for this.

Reika frowned at her co-worker. "Setsuna-san, is something bothering you?"

Setsuna blinked, plastering a calm smile on her face as she leaned her chair forward again. "No, I'm perfectly well, thank you."

....

Usagi was in the process of marking the pages for her assistants to ink when she heard a loud crash that made her drop the pencil instantly.

The crash was followed by a loud wail that belonged to Chibiusa.

She jumped from her desk before the pencil even hit the paper, her feet already headed toward the playroom across the hall.

"Chibiusa? Hotaru?" She burst into the room, her gaze frantic. She spotted the pair of them sitting in a field of shattered glass.

"Mama!" Chibiusa's eyes watered as she held up her cut palms.

Usagi's eyes widened, and she turned to Hotaru, who had a cut on her cheek and was staring at her palms blankly.

Usagi swore under her breath. It figures they would find the one dangerous thing in the entire room. "Don't move!" she ordered. She carefully made her way to the girls, picking her way around the glass, and thankful for her house slippers.

When she was crouched in front of them, she quickly brushed the glass off of Chibiusa, knowing her daughter was more likely to injure herself again. As soon as she finished, she scooped Chibiusa up and settled her on her hip before turning to Hotaru.

Wide purple eyes blinked up at her, possibly in shock. Moments after Usagi turned her attention on Hotaru, the little girl began crying, the shock having worn off. "It hurts!"

"I know, I'm sorry, Baby. Let me just get this glass off of you and then I can fix it. Okay? You'll be just fine, Hotaru. I'm here. You're okay."

Hotaru sniffled, reaching up eagerly once Usagi had gotten the glass off of her.

Usagi lifted her and settled her on her right hip. Gently bouncing the crying girls as she made her way to Chibiusa's bathroom.

Once she had cleaned and bandaged Chibiusa's hands, she did the same for Hotaru. She finished up by placing a Hello Kitty bandage on Hotaru's cheek.

"See? All better," Usagi said, patting Hotaru's head.

Hotaru looked down at the floor from where she sat on the counter, her little feet kicking against the cabinet. "Thank you, Mama."

"You're welco-" Usagi froze, her brain registering the word. She almost corrected Hotaru, but at the last second, she changed her mind. "You're welcome, Hotaru."

She lifted Hotaru and set her back on the floor. "Come on, let's get you guys down for a nap." She took Hotaru and Chibiusa by the hands and led them over to the toddler bed.

Chibiusa climbed into her usual spot and pulled the bunny blanket around herself. Hotaru took up the remaining space, and Usagi pulled her star patterned blanket off of the dresser as she wrapped it around Hotaru.

She gave each girl a kiss on the forehead. "I'll see you guys soon, okay?"

"No!" Chibiusa whined despite her yawns.

"Why not?" Usagi asked, humoring Chibiusa.

"Helios!" Chibiusa demanded, pointing a chubby finger at the plushie on her dresser.

Usagi laughed. "Right, right. Sorry, Sweetie," she said as she brought the pegasus plush to her daughter. She then straightened out their blankets and gave them each another kiss. "All good now?"

"Mhmm," Chibiusa hummed, rolling over and wrapping Helios in her arms.

Hotaru nuzzled close to Chibiusa. "Yeah. Night-night, Mama."

Usagi smiled as she turned on the white noise machine. She then made her way to the door, flicked the lights off, and closed the door behind herself.

She quietly padded back to the playroom, staring at her slippers where she had left them at the edge of the playroom. She pulled her phone out, sent Setsuna a quick text, and the grabbed the vacuum cleaner. She was going to be behind on her deadline for sure now.

....

Setsuna was on her lunch break when the text came.

-Usagi: Everyone's safe, but Chibiusa and Hotaru broke the playroom light. A few cuts, all cleaned and bandaged.

Setsuna swore under her breath. She was relieved they were all okay, but she felt bad for Usagi having to deal with that alone. Not for the first time, she felt guilty about leaving Usagi to watch Hotaru during the week. When Setsuna had first started working, she had let her other friends babysit, but once Haruka and Michiru's careers began taking off, Usagi was the only one Hotaru would allow to watch her.

Usagi always said it was no trouble, but Setsuna knew that wasn't true. Usagi often had to pull all-nighters before her deadlines. And she was often alone in cleaning up after the girls. Setsuna tried to pay her back by running errands after work. Fetching more ink or screen tone, or whatever Usagi needed. But it never felt like an even exchange, regardless of whether Setsuna put food on the table half the time.

"Trouble at home?" Michiru asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Setsuna was far less amused. "The kids broke a light and got cut. They are fine. But now Usagi has to clean up and she's got a deadline tomorrow."

Michiru's smile faded and she sighed. "Poor Usagi. If I didn't have to be at the concert hall in an hour, I'd go help." She glanced down at her phone.

"Do you think I have time to run over there and help her?" Setsuna asked, rubbing her palms against her closed eyes.

"By the time you get there, she'll have everything under control and your help wouldn't be necessary. Besides the fact that you would miss work." Michiru casually stabbed a tomato in her salad and brought it to her lips. "The best thing you can do for her is to help out when you get there for dinner. Stay late. Watch Chibiusa. But don't worry about right now. I've already sent Haruka on her way to help Usagi for today."

Setsuna sighed, finally picking up her chopticks. "Thank you."

"What are friends for?" Michiru asked with a small smile. "Oh, and Setsuna, a word of advice..."

"Yes?"

"Just ask her out already."

....

Usagi was inking her pages when she got the text from Setsuna saying that she was just leaving the art supply store.

"Shit," Usagi groaned, standing and stretching her neck, back, and wrist. "Dinner won't be ready when she gets home." Usagi paused in her stretching. "Here. Gets here," she corrected. She sighed. "Just a friend. Just a really, really good, really pretty friend."

On her way to the kitchen, she poked her head into the play room to find Haruka asleep with the kids sleeping on top of her. She giggled and tiptoed down the hallway.

Thirty minutes later, as Usagi stood at the stove, she felt a weight atop her head.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," she teased as Haruka rested her chin between Usagi's buns. "The kids wore you out?"

Haruka yawned. "I don't know how you do it everyday, Koneko-chan. Those kids have boundless energy. Did you feed them nothing but sugar for lunch?" she teased.

"No way. That would be a nightmare," Usagi said with a shudder. "That's just what happens when toddlers get up from a nap."

Haruka chuckled, wrapping her arms loosely around Usagi's shoulders. "Dinner smells good. I wish I could stay."

Usagi turned around with a pout. "You're not staying? I made extra."

"Unfortunately not. Michi and I have dinner reservations tonight. It's our anniversary."

"Oh wow! I totally forgot! Happy anniversary!" Usagi said hurriedly. "Oh geez, and you spent your day here?"

Haruka patted one odango gently. "Don't worry about it. That's what godmothers are for. You and Setsuna aren't alone. You've got me, Michiru, Rei, Minako, Makoto, and Ami." Haruka pulled her into a hug. "I know it's hard with the anniversary coming up soon, but we're here for you. We are all here for you; whatever you need."

Usagi looked away, her eyes watery. "Thanks. I'll uh, try to keep that in mind." She quickly wiped at her eyes and slid out of Haruka's arms. "Well, I'd better get back to this before the food burns."

Haruka kissed the top of her head before walking to the doorway. "I'd better head out. Remember what I said, Koneko-chan. We're here for you."

"I know. I couldn't do it without you guys," Usagi admitted, glancing over her shoulder, her eyes both warm and sad. "I definitely couldn't do it without her."

Haruka sighed, running a hand through her bangs. "Usagi, you should tell her how you feel. You know she feels the same way. You two have been raising Chibiusa-chan and Hotaru-chan together for two years now."

Usagi turned off the stove, removed the pot from the burner, and turned around with a long sigh. "Haruka, you know I can't do that."

"Why not?" Haruka narrowed her gaze. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm afraid of losing her." The sentence was blunt. "I love you guys, but Setsuna is something else. I could live a thousand years just as we are now if that meant she would stay with me. I can't lose her, Haruka. She means too much to me." Usagi retrieved some dishes from the cabinet. " I'd rather stay friends forever than confess my love and risk losing her," she explained urgently.

Haruka opened her mouth, but the words died as soon as she and Usagi heard the bags hit the table.

They both whirled. Usagi paled when they found Setsuna standing at the dining room table in shock.

Setsuna and Usagi stared at each other in dead silence.

Haruka backed out of the room quietly. "Well, I'll leave you to this."

Setsuna cleared her throat, her cheeks dark with blush. "I apologize. I did not intend to eavesdrop."

Usagi looked away and groaned. "I don't suppose there was any way you didn't hear all of that?"

"I heard enough."

Usagi buried her face in her hands as she crumpled against the counter. "Oh god. Shit."

Setsuna closed the distance between them, gently pulling Usagi's hands into her own. "Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean-? I- uh-" Usagi sighed, looking away. "Yes. I meant it. I never thought I could fall in love again, but you proved me wrong. You proved me very, very wrong, and very quickly, at that. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Setsuna used one finger to carefully tilt Usagi's head up to meet her gaze, a warm smile tugging at her lips. "I happen to love you too."

A fervent blush spread across Usagi's cheeks. "Y-you do?"

Setsuna's smile grew wider as she leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Usagi's cheek. "I really, really do."

"Oh. Oh wow. Hahah." Usagi's hand came up to cradle the kissed cheek. "Am I dreaming?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Setsuna replied, letting out a little chuckle in disbelief.

Usagi looked up at Setsuna. "So what do we do now?"

Setsuna laughed. "How about dinner for now, and then next week I take you out on a date."

Usagi smiled, draping her arms over Setsuna's shoulders and edging up on her tiptoes. "Oh, such a romantic. What about the kids?"

Setsuna's arms wrapped around Usagi's waist as she began to dip her head down toward Usagi's ear. "I just so happened to hear from Michiru that they are off next week with nothing to do. Sounds like the perfect time to go see that movie you were talking about and maybe go out to Mako-chan's new restaurant."

Usagi shivered as Setsuna's lips brushed her ear. "My, my. Sounds like you really know how to show a girl a good time." She tilted her head, easing her lips toward Setsuna's.

Their lips came close enough for Setsuna to feel Usagi's gentle sigh as her eyes drifted closed.

Just as they were about to kiss, Chibiusa's crying caused them to startle apart.

"Mama!" The cries grew louder from the nursery, and Hotaru's cries followed.

"Coming!" Usagi and Setsuna called at the same time.

They looked at each other and giggled.

"I'll go get them," Setsuna offered.

"I'll put dinner out."

Setsuna turned to go, but just before she could, Usagi grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

Setsuna raised one eyebrow, her garnet gaze curious.

Wordlessly, Usagi reached a hand up to pull Setsuna down for a quick kiss. When she pulled back leaving a dazed Setsuna frozen in place, she giggled and licked her lips. "How was it?"

Finally shaking off her surprise, Setsuna smiled. "Amazing."

#setsuna meioh #usagi tsukino #sailor moon #sailorrarepair2017 #Sailor Pluto #au #chibiusa #hotaru tomoe #fanfic #fic #mine #my writing #setsusa