#tinder anon

[birgittesilverbae]

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

oh fuck you fine, snique pique for screw your courage

//

A rap on the passenger side window startles Beatrice almost out of her skin. Her hand slips, slapping against the horn as she scrambles to steady herself, and she takes a carefully measured breath before turning to look at the source of the disturbance. Mary grins back at her and motions for her to roll down the window.

Beatrice, heart still caught in her throat, unlocks the door instead. Mary rolls her eyes theatrically but slides into the passenger seat and reaches across to turn off the car. "Thought you weren't meant to stop by until the party this weekend," she says, pulling the keys from the ignition and shoving them in her own pocket. "What gives?"

Beatrice, hands still tight on the steering wheel, shrugs.

"Shan's not off work for another couple hours, Beatrice. I'd rather not play the silent game for that long."

"Lucia broke up with me."

"I heard. I'm sorry." She sounds it, too, but Beatrice still refuses to turn towards her. "Do you want to come inside and talk about it?"

"No."

She can all but hear Mary's eyes roll. "Do you want to come inside and help me finalise the menu for this weekend?"

She works her jaw thoughtfully. "Do I get a veto?"

"You get a veto if it's on something stupidly labour-intensive that I didn't want to make anyway."

A smile, then, tugging gently at the corner of her mouth. "Shannon still trying to talk you into doing the grilled coulibiac?"

"'Oh, but Mary, you'd get so much use out of a handheld smoker'," she mocks in a voice that sounds nowhere near Shannon's. "As if I want to waste the day stuffing a fish and smoking eggs. Giving that girl access to the internet was a mistake."

When Beatrice turns to unbuckle her seatbelt, she catches the fondness in Mary's smile and a sting of something acid ricochets through her chest. She swallows it back hard. "So, when are you making it for her?"

She's not fast enough to avoid the flick Mary directs at her earlobe. "Next weekend, you cheeky little shit." The contact stings, but Mary's hand falls heavy on her shoulder, thumb stroking over the seam of her sleeve. "Come on. Let's head in, yeah?"

#ask #'anon' #myfic #mywn #wn tinder au #sister beatrice #shotgun mary #why are the tag options so ass now I literally just used the tinder au one but tumblr's like that doesn't exist actually #warrior nun

[officialtinder]

U and incognito need a ship name

Hmmm

Anonymous Spark??

Secret kindling??

I'm thinking of fire related things cuz tinder is a type of wood used in firepits-

i personally like Secret Spark for alliteration :]

@incognito-mode-official, thoughts on the matter?

#this one anon really wants me and incognito to be a thing #after we get a name #you might get a tag 😭 #tinder's dms #incognito mode <3 #secret spark anon

[important-question-anon]

lots of cannibal posting today, hun. you good?

i post cannibalism stuff when im in a good mood

#anon answers #hii tinder :]

[statementlou]

Who is Louis’s PA?

#holy shit does oli know how many hits there are for him in tumblr gif search?????? #half the time that thing cant even dredge up a fucking cute birthday kitty cat #(not the tinder thing though that would be a lot lmao that was from my personal files) #oli!! #thank you anon I am so glad you asked!! #ollliiiiiiii #it's louis' childhood bff oli

[daydadahlias]

scale of 1-10 how much fun do you have when you send asks to yourself

a lot more fun than this ask

#everyone say thank u crystal for being my ghost writer #no uh i'd say that i have more fun when i make fake ao3 accounts and comment on my own fics #or when i make fake tinder accounts with my many other phones (im a millionaire btw) #and i flirt back and forth with myself #and sometimes i catfish myself that's always crazy #yeah sometimes i send myself love letters in the mail #ive made a clone of myself before just so we could compliment each other back and forth for hours #im really ahead of my time #pigeon #anon #in case anyone has no sense of humor im joking #ive actually never sent myself an ask before. im better known for my very conspicuous anons to other friends. #but now i should start sending asks to myself #i'll sign all my asks 'from jess <3' #it'll just be. jess on jess communication #that'll be fun for blog viewers right?? #is it ?? possible to send urself an ask off anon ?? let me try hold on now im just curious #ive never tried before lmfao

[mvchpastel]

So are you and J gonna like date er what?

i’ll date when i decide i’m ready to date??? thanks 🙄

#chill anon #i??? just called off an engagement and a relationship of four years??? #my ex was a slimy liar??? #i ain’t ready to be under anyone’s thumb again #just lemme have fun n get my forehead kissed like cmon #also #i don’t need to download tinder 45 seconds after breaking up to prove that i’ve ‘won’ #i’m not t #buuuut i’d bet money on this anon being t #hey 👋 #i’m doing great btw #heard you’ve been askin #😘

[northern-passage]

as a devoted fanfic writer and a fan of yours, im back to say the lea fic i wrote during the exam was worth it even tho i now know i failed since got my results today B) IDC NO REGRETS WOOOOO

anon....

#im so sorry but also im glad you have a good attitude about it 😭 #i guess if you were going to fail at least u had fun with it #we really need a hall of fame for this message and your first one #and also that one anon that used tnp as a conversation starter on tinder #you all are tnp's strongest warriors #ask #anonymous

[birgittesilverbae]

tinder au hehe let's ignite this FIYAH

unedited sneak peek

//

Ava hadn't been lying; her bedroom is indeed much tidier than the shared space had been. Not that Beatrice gets much time to take it in; one moment she's lingering in the doorway looking up at an accent wall painted with sun-dappled waves and the next Ava's leading her forward by the hands as she backs towards the bed.

Ava settles herself on the edge of the mattress and leans back on her hands, gaze sweeping up and down the length of Beatrice's body. Beatrice holds firm under the pressure of those dark eyes. Assessment, at least, is painfully familiar to her.

For all the weighing and measuring Beatrice imagines in her gaze, Ava doesn't seem to find her wanting. If the soft curl of her mouth is anything to go by, at least. She pushes back upright and holds her hands out to Beatrice, palms up.

Beatrice takes them, finds herself tugged down into Ava's lap. She settles awkwardly astride Ava's bare thighs, shifting to find a comfortable position, to avoid looking too closely at all those miles of bare skin. Something presses hard into the inside of her knee where it settles against Ava's hip, digs into the bruise that's lain there since her last aikido practice, and she winces. "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Both," Ava says with a laugh, and, "Sorry." She wriggles beneath Beatrice in an attempt to wrestle the phone from where it sticks out of a too-small pocket.

#ask #anon #tinder au #warrior nun #ava x beatrice #mywn #myfic #sister beatrice #ava silva

[officialtinder]

>:DDDD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

YOURE COOL 😎😌👌👍👍💪💪💪💪

- 🌸🔥 @yo-thats-positively-fire

HELL YEAH FIRE IS MY THINGGGG <33

also! no you :)

#tinder's dms #fire positivity anon <3

[important-question-anon]

i humbly offer an optimus prime that isnt minecraft dont look at the legs

this is so real, adding u to the list immediately

#anon answers #hii tinder :]

[heresvix]

I can RAM that ano- oh, sorry? Ah ok. I have been advised by my anon legal team not to finish that

Do i look like an anon hookup app for you guys? 😔

#gay beams saga #anon tinder

[rusmii]

Your ability to write smut whenever you want amazes me😭

LMAO DOES IT???? (im writing smut rn)

#ARE U GUYS READY FOR TINDER DATE THIS WEEKEND?!?!?!?!? #🖇. inbox #🖇. anon

[hollywoodsargeant]

Is Logan my type? No

Would I ever even think about a Logan-style boy? No

Have you fully convinced me that he’s my true love and I am completely obsessed? Yes

logan like. single-handedly redefined my type in men in a frighteningly short amount of time. and by redefined i mean he made it actually horrible i was sitting in class last week staring at this army-haircut camo sweatshirt-wearing motherfucker like “omg he’s so cute” like. Stop. i think kirkwood is attractive and my friends are like No then my defense is a picture of him holding a fish

this is the worst thing i have admitted to on the internet

#ask #anyways anon i do tend to be very convincing #at least it seems that way #but logan wasn’t my type until my entire type was logan #fucking stupid all-american ass florida boy #i’m a little mad about it #i was on tinder the other week swiping right on fisherboys… #then i deleted the app. no more. #my crimes cannot go unpunished

[hmcbook]

why being aroace and wanting some sort of relationship but make it aroace is such a mood

It would be the dream to meet someone aroace and start dating them! But where are you people!? Certainly NOT in my hometown smh

#and even if there's some in my hometown it's impossible to find from like. tinder #anon im giving you thanks and a virtual hug about this #ask

[usaigi]

23 years old, male, 6’2, very loud, very clingy, has daddy issues.

DIMITRI!?

actual answer: probably! I like tall guys and I like bonding over trauma :)

#i had/have a bad habit of swipping right on people on tinder only bc they remind me of blorbos #shout out to felix from seattle #and the herd of guys with brown hair and stubble who reminded me of matt murdock #and that one claude cosplayer #asks #anon #ask game

[stonedregulus]

HELLO ITS ME TINDER JAMES ANON THE DATE IS ON SATURDAY AND HES TAKING ME TO THIS LITTLE BOOKSHOP CAFE AND IM SO EXCITED BUT IM SO STRESSED WHAT DO I WEAR WHAT DO I DO WE’VE BEEN TALKING LIKE NON STOP AND HES SO NICE AND SO CUTE AND HE KEEPS SENDING ME CUTE PICTURES OF PETER (THE CAT) AND I JUST AH.

AHHHH OMG OMG OMG!!!! A BOOKSHOP CAFE SHUT UP THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I AM DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, let’s ask @elder-millennial-trash, @thebattlehamster, @greyeyedmonster-18, and @darquevdg because they all know things about fashion and clothes. i know nothing i live in bike shorts and oversized tshirts.

WHAT KIND OF CAT IS PETER?!

#tinder james anon #ollie is answering asks