#to value that which takes time and lasts

[pastelispunx]

I swear the world around us is magical.

#weaving #spinning #knitting #yarn #fiber arts #fiber art #stitch witch #im convinced there is magic in the mundane #my everyday consists of some form of fiber artistry #and its taught me to slow down and look #to value that which takes time and lasts #things that stretch back a millennia #i love the history and the very real (sometimes literal) thread that binds humanity across the years stemming from textile work #humanity and textiles what a love story #my wooly wonders #with the wool

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[mikesbasementbeets]

“if mike is gay and never actually loved el romantically it would diminish their whole relationship :(” ok but like what do you think they’ve been doing this whole time then? do you think the current dynamic of their relationship is good? the relationship we’ve been shown this whole time is supposed to have some sort of positive romantic meaning?? like what do you think would be diminished if mike is gay? he is already unable to genuinely (ie not under dire external pressure) tell el he loves her. he is unable to be genuinely romantic with her (see Every Single Time they kiss (or almost kiss) and mike looks like he wants to crawl out of his own skin). he can’t even put his arm around her waist to support her!!! like. what would be lost if we were to learn that the feelings between them are actually platonic????

#this is about my last rb like. YEAH. they’ve BEEN devaluing their romantic relationship ALREADY. the Whole Time you might even say #it’s like…. their entire thing #also the idea that mike’s being gay would diminish the value of elmike’s relationship as a whole is 1. a miIeven take and 2. homophobic #said it before but. if you think a gay person ending a het relationship and coming out as gay devalues the meaning/importance of that #relationship? that’s homophobic. ask yourself why you think that. examine your thought process. reconsider. #imo mike being gay would EXPLAIN the intricacies of their dynamic in a way that would DEEPEN the meaning of it #but hey some people [cough] will continue to claim gay mike theory is biphobic while providing no evidence for that claim #and at the same time refuse to even acknowledge their own homophobic bias (which has been plainly laid out for them over and over) #hot tip if you don’t want people to think you’re a miIeven shipper then re-examine the opinions you cling to that fully align #with a homophobic miIeven's. quite simple. #beets posts

[derpinette]

i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of

#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration #just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming #the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness #eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing #what a damn chore #so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked #i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED. #i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please... #i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace #but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know #anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes #so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really #trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway... #the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever #JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess #light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings #also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL #so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me #but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace #sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general #oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body #& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks #like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman #& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC

[brittlebutch]

actually first ep of Voyager where Janeway talks to Tuvok about how his family misses him is that when she says they Worry about him Tuvok contradicts her and claims that Vulcans don't do that but when she corrects and says they Miss him he accepts this and admits he misses them too; implying perhaps a pedantic difference between 'Vulcans do not Feel Emotions' (false) and 'Vulcans do not Act Out of Emotion' (accurate) -> 'Miss/Longing' is an emotion, but 'Worry' is an action one does out of emotion -> one Vulcans do; one Vulcans do not.

#N posts stuff #continuation of thoughts from my last post bc i can smell the counterarguments of 'vulcans are not emotional and are #therefore not impulsive and therefore no vulcan child Would run off unattended' which is Wrong #but also a half formulated thought regarding: how often characters will CLAIM that 'vulcans don't do X' and how often #people take that at face value instead of accepting it as like. a character motivated Lie that is being told lol #ie) when Spock claims 'Vulcans don't Have emotions' this is a lie he tells because 1) it's funny to him or 2) this is an Exaggerated #expectation he feels put on him BC other vulcans are more ready to judge his behavior based purely on the knowledge of his #half human genetics -> Spock is forced to hold a Higher standard just to get others to acknowledge they are Minimally equal #ALT: we do Know that Vulcan emotions are deeper/more intense than they visibly show; it doesn't feel Standardized to me that #daily Vulcan culture would DENY the existence of emotions entirely (unless one undergoes Kohlinar which seems to be a Rarer #and more Intense lifestyle Choice SOME vulcans make) bc that Feels like it would be a Lie which wouldn't be Logical to uphold #BUT i Can see conversations About those emotions being one of those things Vulcans keep extraordinarily close to their chest #in Amok Time Spock was ready to Die before he'd tell anyone about a biochemical process his body was experiencing; I can see #emotions as a whole being an almost Equally intimate thing to share w/ outsiders -> hence the 'Vulcans Don't experience emotion' #claim being made in broader Outside society ; you'd talk about it w/ other vulcans but Not with a bunch of humans #(Spock being an arguable Exception to this standard BC of the 'has to uphold a Higher Standard just to be permitted on even ground) #this post is a lot of thinking aloud idk how much coherence there is here but it's fun to think about on many paths

[hzdtrees]

Fire-touched

#horizon forbidden west #hfw #hfw photomode #aloy #passing the cursed thursday midday hour by dumping a few pics on here #(last hour before i need to leave for work which usually means i can't really get started on something big) #(but also need to pass some time) #this lighting was a stroke of luck #you know how the time of day is fixed after completing death's door #eternal late afternoon/early evening light until you finished dying lands #i tend to play burning blooms with that lighting and while it does the job admirably well #it's also frustrating at some angles because sometimes i'd like a bit of a change #(i mean generally fixed time of day is okay while you're playing because you quickly forget about the light not changing) #(but i already hated it in hzd for the obvious (photo mode) reasons) #(gprime fixed daytime area my beloathed) #(and honestly more often than not it improves the actual gameplay because it usually adds cinematic value) #(BUT I WANT TO TAKE PICS WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE FACES) #anyway. #halfway through burning blooms this time i decided i'd abandon talanah for the time being #(like aloy does) #because i was already a little nauseous after merely three pics #and i wanted to try different lighting with the next batch anyway #so i went into cauldron mu instead #which caused an interesting overlay of effects #you always exit cauldron mu into the sunset for maximum scrounger effect #and with fixed time of day from dying lands still active #the general time of the game moved back a couple of minutes #so instead of early evening it became late evening and stayed that way #so all the cutscenes were a little darker than usual #and cinnabar sands was helpfully eternally on fire

[bunnyb34r]

Had a lot of fun 🤗

#marquilla #i was able to look around the screen and take in stuff i missed last time which was fun #and i brought my ear plugs that i use at work when the forklifts are in my area nonstop and god that made it so much better #still very loud which goes to show you how fucking loud it was man #and my popcorn was meh but it was free lol and skinny pop just tastes like that™️ like Styrofoam #i think i wanna see madame web when it comes out even though im not into superhero movies but i think it's within the spiderverse #lol like that general universe which i like i like spiderman stuff and i think i wanna see Lisa Frankenstein bc it looks #hilarious and gross in an interesting way (gory but not just for shock value) but those are in February #if i see anything else this month it's probably just mean girls but idk yet #i can afford the $6 a week matinee sfdgsgdggddg im worth it #this time there was like 4 people? but i was the only one in the very back this time shdhgdgd like oh okay then

[deus-ex-mona]

ice cream ✨always✨ makes everything better!!!!

#like today… i had a seriously horrible very bad day :( #so i went out to buy like $20 worth of ice cream and now both my wallet and heart feel lighter than before!!!!! #ok fr though i needa rant about my day here in the tags just to get it all off my chest in case i snap at the interns tomorrow lol #this morning one of the mfing titration machines kept giving wonky results >:( #so i just filled its stupid job queue thing with tons of repeats so that it could just run on its own while i did other things instead #then this intern came in and said ‘i’ll take care of these few machines!!!’ and yanked the probe out of the test solution… #all while the thing was still running ಠ‿ಠ and welp time wasted? time wasted. #and this other titration units kept giving invalid blank values for the entire day which sucked bc it was our best unit >:( #then this higher up lady checked the machine and found precipitates in the burette. yeah too bad she only found it like an hour before 5 ಠ‿ಠ #that machine worked properly after it was cleaned out though. as expected of our best unit~ #but while those 2 units were deceased there were 2 other units that were up and running #except this random maintenance guy halted one of the unit’s runs to do some pointless check and wasted good ol’ testing time for nothing >:( #all’s fine! we still had one unit!! :)))) right??? :)))) #…yeah no. while i was out submitting some results during the last hour of the workday the computer mfing restarted itself #i came back from the dude’s office to see the computer on the lock screen. ‘haha very funny who locked this?’ i thought as i keyed in the pw #oh *no* it restarted itself. while the units were mid-run. in other words the samples had to be re-keyed in、 #the then-currently running samples had to be reweighed，and i still don’t know who restarted the computer >:( #to top it all off，that intern from earlier kept wandering over to pat my back and ask ‘are you okay?’ #pls i literally hate human contact pls don’t touch me you’re making this worse ಥ‿ಥ #call me ungrateful but i was pretty close to snapping on her. sorry intern. you’re the capable intern too… #unlike that intern who dropped part of the equipment into the waste container while she was supposed to be washing it >:( #i hate titration soooooooo much :( i can’t wait to try out extra dangerous titration tomorrow :( #i get to play with acids this time i think? sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me— #anyway sorry if you read all that lmao. stay hydrated and eat tons of ice cream for a good time ok? #mona monday

[katistrophe]

That feeling when you get a plotbunny for a fandom where you don’t even go, IN A CONLANG, and you don’t have anyone who knows it so it’s just pingponging around in your brain

#I never played ar tonelico but I read LPs way back when #and once in a while my brain latches on to the worldbuilding and the SUNG CONLANG PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE OF MAGIC #(seriously that string of words is catnip for me) #and wants to do something with it #this time it’s… well whenever my brain sees 'XYZ group can’t be boys/girls because reasons' I go 'okay but consider: trans people' #so now my brain is giving me vague ideas about a trans dude reyvateil who tries to hack his Singing voice #since from what the wiki says it sounds like the Tower handles how it sounds when someone Sings #and I’m knee deep in the wiki for something I’ll never write trying to figure out what to hack and how #doesn’t help that all the Hymmnos I know is some of the emotion words #so all my brain gives me is 'holy shit if he gets to Sing the last bit in his new voice and it starts with 'was yea erra'' #(which I guess gives me some extra corner points in that an IPD reyvateil needs to be involved and it’s not him since that’s standard) #(because for the change to be implemented mid Song it’d have to be executed sequentially and you can’t do that with standard) #(and if he’s the ipd he’d want his Song to have as much power as possible and not bother with emulation) #(I guess there’s a bit of plot there in that he tries on his own but fails and something something the value of community) #(maybe part of the failure is that his approach features emotion sounds that his actual feelings clash with due to his voice) #(since the change would only go through at the end) #(so I guess the patch would in part be porting the lines he struggles with to New Testament of Pastalia so the other person can take them) #(and run them as they’re Sung) #I HAVE NEVER EVEN PLAYED THE GAMES

[siena-sevenwits]

.

#Maybe 84 Charing Cross Road had too strong an effect on me. As I turn my head this way and that #trying to figure out what I shall do with myself when the semester is over and ties are cut with the school I've been teaching for this pas #decade #it occurs to me that I might go - hat in hand as it were - to the old bookseller who runs my favourite used bookstore of all time. #The shop has the most wonderfully curated selection. The first time I walked in there #having been used to the used book section in value village #I almost had my breath taken away #I have to be careful not to go there too often because I am weak for spending money on books #but every Christmas I go and buy a ton as presents and usually something for myself #and I ask the owner if I can start a stack on his counter while I shop and he is always happy and comments on my finds as I bring them #He is kind and conversational on those occasions #My mom once struck up a long conversation with him when we were there together #and learned how he has owned that shop forty years or so and does not have an assistant because he's always managed on his own #And last night as I tried to fall asleep I got ridiculously ahead of myself and imagined the possibilities of employment there in #the detail of a novel without much regard for the probable realities - the realities that he has given no sign of wanting to hire and #having gone so far without an assistant probably doesn't want one #that there would be sides to the job which would likely be dreary #and that as with any job there would be all kinds of difficulties #BUT I often need these romantic imaginings to spur me on to take any kind of action. So - this might be silly - but I am thinking of doing #things the old fashioned way - of going round to the shop rather than emailing him - and asking if there is any chance that there might #be opportunities for work. It will likely all come to nothing and I'll keep looking #but I'll at least make a memory of having tried.

[thedarklyblue]

i want to KICK someone !!!

#.txt #just bein cranky it's not a whole thing but i can and will complain #dislike my asm. he just fucking rubs me the wrong way #hes a big fan of bitching which just makes me anxious i don't see value in it #i don't want to think about how rehearsal sucks and he doesn't want to be here today i want to be excited that it's the last rehearsal #before break #feels like hes doubting me like the guy will not stop asking when i'll set up a prop table #today specifically he keeps snorting. like the gross wet 'i know you have a runny nose but go blow it and be done' #he's not actually that good at his main job like the kid is basically just on book rn #but it takes him a full fifteen seconds to find where he is when people call line #and he still looked at me today and said 'yeah i think i have the harder job rn you're just watching some lines and i'm following all of it' #well Not Well #also fuck you cues are complicated and i have to watch the full script just as much #and hes decided to sit next to me which is fine i guess #except im at the tech table so now he's blocking my way out of the row and i keep having to get up #and hes In The Way and just looks at me and goes 'oh do you want me to get that' #ALSO note on his job 'being harder' hes literally on a pokemon tier list maker half the time #he works in costumes and keeps passive-agressively being like 'huh. why am i the scenic liason when i work in costumes. inconvenient.' #guess what it's because i don't trust you to be costumes liason #she asks a lot and you complain if scenic needs you more than twice a week #he complains when he has nothing to do and he complains when he has something to do and he's one of those #self described leftist communists who literally just complains about how everything sucks and he could do it better #like go off but stop bitching dear god i don't want to be around you #it would be more complicated and i'd have to spend more time here but i think i could run this more smoothly my fucking self #but he's my only asm and i really should have one. #he wants to be a full stage manager and like................ #i want to work on next year's jterm show so bad. i didn't want to be above an asm. but he's applying to stage manage it #and if he's in charge i am literally not doing it #so guess who's applied to be sm bc i have seniority. #so yeah he gets on my nerves

[pallases]

the way that my affirmations rn are literally just “you only need to get a 40% to pass the class 💆🏼‍♀️”

#personal #the engineering chronicles #i am so so scared for it we did a practice final last week that was extremely suspiciously easy so i reached out to someone who took the #final today asking if his had aux views and/or tolerance stack analysis (neither of which were on mine) and he said yes and also that he ran #out of time to finish one of his drawings so. AAAAA #*on my practice final #the thing is i got comparatively great grades on both the assignments for those topics (100% and 90% respectively and the 90% was bc the #professor i went to for help in office hours told me to negate all my values when my original values were actually the correct ones smh) BUT #they were the most time consuming assignments of the semester and also both required hawk-eyed attention to detail that had me redoing and #editing so much to get the correct answers like i won’t have time for that on the final 😭😭 especially if they’re BOTH on it which is likely #the midterm was hell on earth and everyone basically failed it i don’t even want to think abt this… #i have just over an 87% rn so im under no illusions that i will be keeping my b+ let alone moving up to an a-. to end w a b i can get as low #as 74% on the final which is….possible. but im not banking on it. #to end w a b- i can get as low as a 64% which is what im hoping i can achieve wrdjfjf 😭 #it’s only a 1 credit class so it’s not like it’s the end of the world or my gpa if i get that or even a c #lvl 100 1 credit engineering classes here are hellish idk why. you’re probably thinking leigh if you are struggling this much at that level #that may be a sign but no bc ive also taken/am taking multi credit and/or lvl 200 engineering classes and they are soo much better. at least #thus far #plus stats and calc are both multi level and above lvl 100 and they’re both fine i have developed a lot of respect for them actually even #a good amount of curiosity and enjoyment. it’s just the lvl 100 1 credit engineering classes what is up w them #*multi credit not multi level lol

[consciouschunkofmoss]

sorry for liking the sugar coated façade more than the monstrous that lays beneath 😔

#most of the time i would oh so readily embrace the latter #but. in this very specific situation #i cant enjoy it #and i can excuse many things within the fictional scopes. but grooming a minor is very well beyond my taste #plus the whole narrative felt like a riverdale style last minute plot twist change purely for shock value of a very impressionable audience #if you do happen to know who or what im talking about no you dont. or yes you do if cringe culture doesnt actually take part in your ethics #we need to talk about this or else my head will simply explode #im more angry than willing to twist the narrative for excuses #mostly so because there is nothing to twist enough to make this narrative and character acceptable #so i just want to scream #and maybe write an au #a whole rewrite reconstruction #also point out to the flowers motif to which never went anywhere and one to which i was so desperately excited about being developed #i wanted the clean cut white purity based aesthetic character to be the central point of oozing pain so bad #just rambling

[jovalencia]

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

#okay but really. we plan a night to watch big brother together with me her my mom and her gf like we always do except this time #we’ll all have snacks and be wearing our thrifted pajama pants #but instead she spends all fucking day away with her girlfriend and they get back and all they want to do is move her stuff to my #old room. which she should have done THIS MORNING considering how she was rushing me out of my room yesterday #so she moves all her shit and asks if she can go fuck off with her gf tomorrow even though we have the rosary for my grandpa that night #and she needs to unload the dishwasher and her and my mom both KNOW it’s her turn but she claims it’s mine #and we have a chart that we use to determine who’s turn it is so arguments like this don’t happen but she never marks her name off #so I’m like you’re unloading the fucking dishwasher no matter what because I’m not doing this bullshit and she’s all like #the way you said that to me was disgusting and I know it’s not my turn but I’ll do it like oh my fucking god #then I go back downstairs and my mom is like are you okay like no I’m not fucking okay I moved into a room that makes me feel #horrible whenever I step inside I’m going to college even though I don’t really want to and my sister who has been the only constant #friend I’ve had in my life (and my only friend at times) has slowly started to hate me over the last six months and I don’t know why #like everything is so fucking stressful right now and I have no idea what I’m even doing #and she’s like yeah change in life is always difficult like yes I know but the only person who has been there with me through it all wants #nothing to fucking do with me #and lately every time I talk in my family all they do is laugh at whatever I said like no matter what they don’t value my opinion or #take me seriously. and I know I’m a hashtag silly gal but that doesn’t mean that I’m a joke and not a person #it’s just so frustrating #also all this on top of my mental health being shit to begin with #august going out with a bang

[planet4546b]

alright i finished season 1 of disco. when i first tried disco and disliked it like a year or so ago i was initially judgemental bc it seemed sort of needlessly dark and to be telling a very different story than the typical trek utopias (didnt help that i had only seen tng at the time), but its genuienly kind of genius how they start in a much darker place and then EXPLICITLY end on the hopeful note of ‘we still have to choose kindness and believe in utopian ideals in order to get to that utopian world, a ‘good’ universe is one in which people make the active choice to do good’, and that they do it through burnham’s character arc and her slowly working through her trauma. i think a lot about how different treks are made for the era they’re made in, and the idea that disco is the same, and is made for our era and continues to pull through the thought that we can choose to make a better universe, is so exactly in line with what i love about trek and is just an absolute delight. disco also imo has much stronger character writing than a good chunk of other treks, i really love all of the characters, and im super excited to keep watching!!!!

#pers #the end definitely got me choked up :') idealism in sci fi will absolutely always get to me #but im incredibly glad i gave it another chance because i really love it!!! #helps also that since the last time i tried watching it ive listened to twilight mirage and how that #grapples with the idea of a utopia and what that idea means #and i think that its just incredibly hard to take a utopia at face value and lends it so much more credibility #to watch them struggle with that and define explicitly what their ideals are #which both tm and disco do well imo :) #from what ive seen of ds9 it does something similar by asking questions about what starfleets ideals are #when placed under the pressure of a war i just havent seen enough of it to speak on it specifically

[loverdude]

I'm just trying 2 do my homework but I'm like having a crisis about my art T_T

#💭 #just that like #i love to make cartoony colorful stylized etc fanart and stuff... #and i mean original stuff too ofc #but college art school life makes me feel so like. stupid for it a lot #since like even elementary school i feel like i've been treated like my regular artwork i make is like #a childish unimportant hobby #like once when talking abt stuff for my senior show last semester a professor was like #'well maybe just don't do the stuff u do for fun for awhile and just focus on the senior show' #?!?!? ok so 1. i'm hearing that the artwork i usually make is like. not as good/important even tho i work rlly hard on it #and 2. i'm not gonna tell u not to enjoy ur hobbies or whatever for like 6 months to a year just bc u have homework. what!?!?!? #i get what he meant but. ARGH #i mean don't get me wrong i love to make all kinds of art #all kinds of mediums and varying in like. subject #i love digital art for sure but also painting and markers and fiber art and sculpture and sketching and whatever #the fine arts world of art school/gallery artists is just not for meeee... #it makes me feel like i have to make a serious professional whatever art piece #ABOUT these feelings #in order for them to be taken seriously #i feel like i have to prove that my usual stuff is still like. valuable/important too by being able to do other stuff #and like #i absolutely think that skills like anatomy and perspective and color and value and whatnot is important knowledge like #regardless of your style or medium of artwork but #idfk. do u get what i mean. hello #sorry i rant abt this a lot i've just got serious senior burnout and am also rlly fed up 😭 #i'm making a website portfolio thing bc i have to present it basically instead of taking an exit exam #(which i thought i had to do the semester i graduated which will be december; not the semester i'm in the senior show- #-which is only in the spring so i'm like rushing this portfolio that i thought i had to present in 8 months not 3 weeks AUGH but anyway) #and like putting it all together is making me feel so lame.... #i have my lampscapes... some fiber artworks but not much bc i haven't had more time (bc of. school. lol)