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yawnderu · 6 months

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Captain's Wife - John Price & TF141 x Reader

work starting to feel like I do belong in the kitchen 💀so here's some Price domestic stuff to keep me going until Friday so I don't lose my mind.

Content: small drabbles, fluff, domestic!Price, vouyerism, John ''I share my wife'' Price, TF141 x reader.

I actually think about being Price's housewife quite a lot. Being a cute little thing he has waiting for him back at home, a domestic life for the first time ever, something he never even thought was possible.

He bought big house in the British countryside, just to make sure you're free from all the stress city life brings. Any hobbies you may have he fully supports and funds, giving you extra spending money on the side despite knowing you don't usually spend it, having all your needs and interests taken care of by him.

This man spoils you rotten without you even asking, having savings for years before he even met you and a good salary as a captain in the SAS. Anything you even glance at when you're out with him at the mall? Bought for you with no hesitation at all. Jewelry, clothes, lingerie; you don't lack any of those things when you're with him.

Any affection you miss while he's deployed is given to you once he's back, his fat cock filling you up in different positions, despite how tired he might be, he always has the energy to fuck his darling wife good. He always puts your pleasure first, making you cum with his fingers and tongue before he even thinks about putting his dick inside. His efforts don't come without rewards, of course, and it has become one of his favorite things to see you down on your knees, praising his thick cock and heavy falls, praising him.

Being a Captain comes with sharing many things with his boys- from gear, to his wife. The first time you're introduced to the boys, the thought of straying doesn't even cross your mind, fully loyal to your husband and simply happy to meet the boys he considers his family. It isn't until Price has you sitting on his lap with your legs wide open, forcing orgasm after orgasm out of you in front of the younger men that the thought of having someone other than him hits your brain.

John doesn't miss the way your eyes linger on the younger men. Soap shamelessly has his dick out, stroking up and down slowly, basking in on the sight of his captain fingering your soaking cunt. Gaz is more subtle about it, though eventually he can't ignore his boner, pulling out the prettiest dick you've ever seen and stroking it with more enthusiasm than the others, free hand massaging his heavy balls, begging for release.

Ghost is the one who takes the longest to give into it, ignoring his painful boner being strained by his jeans up until John is fucking you. The sight of your attractive body bouncing on his captain's cock is too much for him, legs spreading wider on the couch to adjust his boner until his hand hesitantly starts to rub his length over his clothes, shamelessly thinking it's him the one fucking you.

And that fantasy becomes a reality soon enough, once you're fucked-out and your cunt is ready to take more, nice and wet for the men he trusts the most. He has rules for it, of course. They can't fuck you without a condom, anything you feel uncomfortable with is off limits, and if you show any signs of discomfort, they have to stop. Soap only whined about not being able to fuck you raw, earning him a look that got him to shut up immediately.

Gaz is a gentle lover despite how excited he was, eating your cunt out nice and slow, plump lips latching onto your clit while your hand gently pushes the back of his head closer, a teasing ''patience, love.'' escaping his lips as he lines up the tip of his cock to your entrance, slowly pushing in and giving you time to adjust to his thickness before he's fucking into you slowly, making sure every thrust hits deep inside you. He switches positions a few times, settling in for the one that makes you moan louder, hands holding onto your hips as he fucks into you from behind.

Johnny is more eager, more... youthful, just happy to be able to fuck you. He'd never admit it, but he's had his eye on you ever since he first met you, wishing he was as lucky as his captain. He eats you out for the longest, messily sucking and licking all over your cunt, lips latching onto your clit, tongue swirling over it, your moans encouraging him to go for longer even when his tongue is tired. He's on his knees in front of the bed, one of his hands busy jerking himself off and stopping right when he's about to cum just by tasting you. H's not enthusiastic about putting a condom on, though he quickly forgets about his annoyance once he's balls deep inside you, hands holding onto your waist as he fucks into you, fast and deep.

Ghost is the only one who doesn't eat you out yet, being slightly uncomfortable about the whole thing and about being watched. John knows Ghost ever since he was Simon, so he tells the boys to go clean up while he too leaves the room, making sure to be within earshot in case anything happens, despite knowing he can trust Simon with his life. He makes up for it by fingering your cunt, long digits sinking into it slowly, brown eyes fully focusing on your expression to make sure you're enjoying every second of it. It takes a while before he fucks you, condom rolling down his thick length and making sure you're all nice and wet before hesitantly pushing in, holding you in a nice missionary while he thrusts in and out, his massive body caging you in and making you feel safe. The mask goes up halfway, giving you sloppy, inexperienced kisses as a reward for taking him so well. Simon is a talker when he's close, face seeking shelter into the crook of your neck as he praises you for being so good for him, for taking his cock so well and making him feel good.

Once the boys are gone, Price runs a bath for you, asking you if you enjoyed yourself and if you'd be interested on doing that again in the future. He presses gentle kisses to your forehead, warm hands washing your body with love and care, allowing you to fall asleep in his arms even when you're in the bathtub. He dries your body and puts you to bed after changing the sheets, a look of pure adoration in his eyes.

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shogunish · 7 months

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𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿.

pairing. gojo satoru x f! reader

genre. heavy angst, heartbreak

summary. satoru realized something. he wasn't only losing his life. he was losing you, too.

warnings. chapter 236 spoilers, major character death, blood/violence, denial, no comfort

words. 1.3k

note. i can't see anything through my tears

Pristine snowflakes gently fell from the night sky, embracing what was once Shinjuku with a smooth blanket of innocent, pure white. Little puddles, thin branches were all frozen solid while a peaceful silence seemed to linger in the air. It was cut by soft sobs and begs, hot tears and crimson blood staining the pure blanket of snow,

Your knees were buried in the snow, Satoru's head rested on your thighs. Blood spilled from his mouth like water from an overflowing sink, but he still had the energy to smile. Hot tears dripped onto his cooling skin. "Don't cry. You're So much prettier when you smile."

"Don't talk like you're dying! You're gonna make it, you hear?!" You yelled out loud. Fat tears streamed down your cheeks while you were cradling Satoru's face with trembling fingers. Defeated – that was what you were. "You promised..you promised to marry me once this was all over..you can't go.."

With the way you were denying Satoru's looming death, you would end up cursing him and that was something you would never do to the man you loved so much and yet..and yet..

"There's gotta be something..anything at all.." Your voice was nothing but a strained whisper.

That promise was all Satoru could think about. That warm ring on your finger which warmed his gradually cooling skin, the silver that glimmered even underneath the darkest night sky that even the moonlight couldn't penetrate. It was proof of his devotion to you.

Satoru realized something. He wasn't only losing his life. He was losing you, too. He coughed, his voice unusually quiet and vulnerable. "I wish I could live out that promise, tell you how much you mean to me and make lots of babies, too.."

Satoru nuzzled into your trembling hands. His vision was slowly but surely darkening, but he was happy. He could still feel and hear you clear as day. "But you won't ever be alone. I'll be with you..every step of the way, my love."

Satoru's words tore a hole right through your heart that nothing could ever fill. Both of you had already made plans to settle down, build a cozy home and fill it with the family you always wanted without the expectations of Jujutsu Society on his shoulders. A place where no one expected Satoru to be The Strongest. A place where he could be Gojo Satoru.

Gripping Satoru's shirt with your fists, your knuckles turned white. You knew you had to pull yourself together for the last moments you could spend with the man who always stole the blanket in the middle of the night, never failing to kiss you good morning and good night. The man who always brought home some kikufuku for you. The man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

"If we're ever reborn as human beings..In a world without curses.." You spoke in hushed tones as you lowered your forehead on Satoru's. "..will you make me your bride again..?"

Usually, Satoru would chuckle at you and call you cheesy for saying such sappy words, but not this time. Not when he was bleeding out in your loving embrace, feeling so, so safe and so protected. Those words..they comforted him, too. "I'd do it in another lifetime, in every life. You're the one I want to grow old with..be happy with.."

A single snowflake got caught in your hair and oh, how badly Satoru wanted to brush it away. He tried. Lord knows he tried, but he couldn't even lift his arm anymore. How he yearned to run his fingers through your hair and feel your soft lips on his one last time..

"You're the love of my life. It's always gonna be you." He felt at peace with you. The most content he'd felt in a very long time. Even though he was more dead than alive, Satoru looked so..peaceful.

You were gentle when you pushed Satoru's messy bangs away from his face – you weren't even sure if he could still feel your touch with the way the light in those sky-colored irises was fading.

"Then this shall be our Binding Vow. I, too, will meet you in every and any lifetime. We'll grow old together, make a family and be happy together."

Silent tears still ran down your cheeks as you pressed your lips to Satoru's bloodied, cold ones as if to seal the Binding Vow you had just made.

"Close your eyes, Toru. It's..it's okay to rest now." You whispered, knowing how hard it had to be for him to keep his eyes open and so, you gently slid his eyelids shut with the delicate tips of your fingers. "I'm right here.."

Satoru couldn't be happier. He got to kiss you, he was surrounded by the woman he loved in his final moments and he got to hear you call him "Toru" one last time.

Taking a slow steady breath, Satoru focused all of his attention on you. Your voice, your touch and your breathing. He'd miss the way your hair was in his face when he spooned you from behind. He'd miss the way you'd comb your fingers through his hair as he fell asleep on your chest and he'd miss that beautifully radiant smile of yours that you only ever showed him.

You heard a whisper, one that was meant for you only. "I'll miss you, my love."

Silence filled the space around you. Satoru had taken his last breath and his heart ceased to beat. Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, was dead.

"I'll miss you too, Toru.."

You two were torn apart with nothing to do about it and you finally allowed yourself to shatter into countless little pieces while the sun was finally rising, ringing in a new day which was adorned by a clear blue sky. A blue that only his eyes could ever hold.

Tears and snot streamed down your face as you bent over Satoru's body, your face buried in his chest like you could breathe life back into him. You sobbed and wailed painfully, holding his cold body incredibly tight. Cries and begs and pieces of yourself cut through the tranquil day.

It was unfair.

It was unfair how wedding plans suddenly turned into a funeral.

bonus;

Several hours had passed and cries of agony had turned into deafening silence. Your ear was still pressed to Satoru's chest like you were expecting a heartbeat to return, but it was over. This wasn't just a nightmare. This was cruel reality. Eyes that once sparkled for the love you had for Satoru were now dull and lost their former shimmer. Motionless, you were still bent over his body, protecting and shielding it from the curse called reality.

"[Name].." It was Shoko who stood by your side along with the medical team. Judging by her swollen eyes and sore nose, she had been crying not too long ago, as well. "You need to let him go. Satoru..he wouldn't have wanted you to be like that."

No reaction. If Shoko didn't know any better, she would've believed you had died as well and maybe..maybe a part of you actually did. The doctor frowned. She knew how much you loved Satoru, how many plans the two of you had and that all of your future plans were tied to him, but..she also knew that the longer you'd remain in the snow with a dead body, the more your health would be endangered.

"Come. It's time to go home, [Name]." Shoko gently pried you away from Satoru's dead body and although you didn't resist physically, you immediately raised your voice and started crying the moment you saw the medical team picking up Satoru's body.

"Don't! Anything but that!" You yelled, vision blurry with tears. You reached out your hand to the body that belonged to the man you had given your heart and soul to.

"Don't take him away from me!"

taglist; @torusmochi (i'm so sorry)

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #i'm in agony

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moonlit-positivity · 2 months

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Lesser known effects of trauma that don't ever get acknowledged

Cw: mentions of csa, sa, despair, depression, & generally dark content that some may find hard to read. Please interact & read with care.

"bed rotting" (which I hear is gaining attention on TikTok these days) ie the process of becoming bedridden due to your body being stuck in freeze response (paralyzed w fear, too scared to move)

Needing to cut your hair bc it keeps getting matted down, because you can't shower or wash it or keep up with it anymore

Gaining weight (i gained over 200lbs in a year), losing all the clothes you once fit in, and feeling guilty when all you see everywhere all the time is fat shaming

Losing weight (and subsequently all your clothes start falling off 😭) eating disorders and struggling with body image

Existing off of God knows what at this point. Is that milk spoiled? Yeah but how many days is it spoiled? Mmm, nah, nevermind, I'll just eat air.

Losing track of time. Losing months to years of time because of extreme dissociation, fatigue, stress, and the inability to move

Brain & body "shut down" or go into sleep mode for long periods of time

Self hygiene becomes non existent. Showering? Brushing teeth? Changing clothes? Don't know her.

House cleaning becomes non existent. "If It's Not In The Vacinity, It's Not Getting Done."

Lying to everyone about what's going on because it's easier than telling the truth

Not being comfortable with having your pictures taken, go through a phase where you destroy any evidence you ever existed anywhere at all

Isolating & ghosting all ur friends periodically to make sure they're not gonna leave you (lol makes perfect sense, if you know you know)

Animal upkeep goes to shit. Litter box goes neglected for long periods of time.

Noise & light sensitivity goes haywire. Noise & light triggers get amplified especially once you start to feel any sense of "safety" and start decompressing. An alarm goes off, the stove beeps, the cat meows, anything that makes even the slightest noise in the foreground and you have a whole ass panic attack and find yourself in bed for the rest of the day

Agoraphobia. You never go outside ever again. Too much paranoia, too many eyes staring at you, too many reasons to panic and stay in bed

Life becomes so non existent that the only thing that matters is whatever you're currently doing to cope & survive. If you're addicted to something, well, it's a fucking miracle you even wake up anymore

Couch surfing and inevitable homelessness when people get tired of housing you. Having to confront the way society frames government assistance as "the lazy man's income" & hope disability goes through. Which it won't. Wait-lists out the ass, section 8 takes 5 years or more to kick in. Disability doesn't even go through bc they always deny the first time you apply. The process is littered with appeals and court dates and what the fuck, I can't even get out of bed. What the fuck. What the fuck.

Leaning into your despair because, despite what everyone on social media will shout at you about resilience and "not allowing yourself to fall into despair," they will never understand that concept that despair is there for a reason too. Youre looking at someone who was raped at 5 years old and youre telling them to "stay positive." Yeah okay.

The anger, the bitterness, the resentment at the world & everyone in it. The cold blooded urge for revenge & justice. Especially when there's nothing you can do about the fact that your abusers are still free to live and roam this world as they please.

Not being able to "talk about it." Not being able to "trust a safe space." That's bullshit. I was beat and abused my whole life, what the fuck you mean "safe space?" The absolute mind fuckery that you have to sit with and undo and learn the fact that they fucking lied to you. It is enough to kill you.

Everything you learn in therapy just pisses you off even more because why the fuck wasn't there someone there as a kid to teach you this shit???? Why the fuck do I have to learn this as an adult???? Where was this when I actually fucking needed it????

Nothing helps. Nothing soothes, because there is no soothing. There is only pain. It's like ripping your skin off.

Losing everything. Losing all your friends. Losing all your "cool status" points. Losing your reputation. Losing all the things that once brought you great joy and passion. There is nothing anymore. Pain and isolation and desolation and despair.

Learning that no one can relate. Except that's not entirely true at all. People can relate. It's just such a stigmatized topic that no one talks about it out loud, because no one else in society really gets it.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #abuse #effects of abuse #childhood trauma #abusive parenting #abusive relationships #addictions #alcoholism #acoa #codependency #substance use

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strayywayy · 2 months

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Giving you what no one else could Bangchan pt-1 pt-2 pt-3

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Pairing: bang chan x fem!reader Brief: You have extreme body dysmorphia and depression. Chan comes in your life as a ray of light in the dark, things take a turn teaching you what love is. You come in each other's lives' as messiahs. Love is mutual chan is helping you to his max but how do you help him? Genre: soulmate AU, fluff, eventual smut (comes later in other chapters), light angst, lotss of comfort Content Warning: Mild swearing, sexual themes(again comes laterr) and discussions, mentions of body image/ self-hate A/N: This is the very first thing i'm writing in like whole of my life. This series will be shamelessly self-indulgent as I relate to this soo much. Chan makes me feel like home so this is how I portray him with my story. I have no ideas how many chapters this will have hehe. Credits: dividers by: @cafekitsune thank you so much for the dividers these are soo pretty!!

You sat on your table, with tear stained books in front of you. You were to study but couldn't bring yourself to concentrate on anything as such. A constant reminder ringing in your head that you had a very important exam and that you should study. But the other part of your own head did not want you to do that. It was like these gloomy thoughts had a mission to hold you back from studying for the exam. They used the one issue you were very conscious about- your body image. You sat mindless with only harsh words being played in your ears- "you have gotten a bit fat.. haven't you?" "you going to have all of that" "are you really gonna wear that haha" "that would've looked better on anyone but you" "do you even try to lose weight" "I was just kidding about your weight I wouldn't want to hurt you", these mostly came from your relatives and heartbreakingly your own parents. What they didn't know was their "harmless" jokes were causing very much harm to you. You thought to yourself "fuck them" but couldn't execute it instead you "fucked" yourself up. Pictures of girls with "perfect" bodies were also flashing in your head constantly how they looked so skinny and pretty how they were wanted and you weren't. You wanted to stop but couldn't, the only reflex was to cry. You crying also was not acceptable to them.

As you grew older you were not allowed to express your emotions you learnt to supress them. You only showed the very bright and uplifted side of you to the world. On the core level you knew what you were doing to yourself having one or no meal a day, exercising harshly, finding a way to make yourself fit the standards no matter how much you tried, you couldn't acheive anything. You were a "phenomenal" dancer as many said and also good at acedemics many people envied you. You chased perfection like a bull ran after the color red. You sure were praised by many but, the only thing you had ingrained in your head was "you can never be good enough" no one forced this on you but it was you who ruined yourself under this weight of the society. You drank the poison your own mind made for you decaying you bit by bit everyday. It was doing a very good job until your soulmate came to your rescue just at the right time. His name was christopher bahng also known as bang chan. How did you meet him? What wonders had you done in your past life that you deserved him? to be continued....

#bangchan #stray kids channie #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz comfort #christopher bang #skz #stray kids imagine #stray kids #skz au #alternate universe #bang chan x female reader #bang chan smut #first post

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cellu-lightreading · 6 months

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Pure Greed

It was all a coincidence really. Jamie's friends took him on a vacation, and a few drunken afternoons produced a flurry of content of him shirtless on his socials. He was twerking on the beach and eating all kinds of food. As he watched it back, he was a little embarrassed. The internet isn't usually kind to guys like him with double chins that eclipse their necks and waistlines wider than adults are tall. When he checked his phone and saw that his phone was blowing up, he was nervous that trolls had come to attack him. That's not what he found.

Hundreds of likes materialized overnight with a comments section overflowing with support and love. Not exactly body positivity comments, more swarming sexual admirers. There were heart eyes and eggplants and peaches. They said they liked his soft gut and his giant dimpled ass. They were drooling over how much he could eat instead of criticizing all the junk he was stuffing in his mouth.

At breakfast, Jamie decided to share the phenomenon on his post. No one could quite explain how these legions managed to find him of all people, but one friend had one idea of why they were so obsessed with him.

"They're called feeders or encouragers." Brandon said "When they see a big fat guy not promising to lose weight, they're like moths to a flame. You filming yourself stuffing yourself is like porn to them."

"How do you know all of this?" Jamie asked.

"'Cause they swarm the comments of all my favorite fitness influencers going on a dirty bulk in the winter. They go rabid watching a dude's abs melt away for a few months and then get disappointed and disappear in the spring when it's time to cut. Actually, this is a pretty good opportunity for you if you play your cards right. These guys will literally throw money at you just for being fat. Now that they've slashed your hours at work, you can probably string these guys along to keep the bills paid."

"I don't know how I feel about selling my body."

"You're not exactly doing porn. You don't even really have to get naked. All you have to do is be fat and get fatter."

"Get fatter? I just clocked in at 375 the other week! I can't afford to get bigger!"

"Considering we're the ones paying for your stay this weekend, I'd argue that you can't afford not to get bigger."

A few days after getting home, Jamie decided to give making content a try. He wasn't really sure what to do so he started with something basic every influencer did nowadays: a get ready with me video. He started the video from bed, letting the people see him heave his body out from under the covers. He slept shirtless normally so that might be something. He showed himself buttoning up his uniform shirt around his large frame and hoisting his pants around his thighs. He got a little self-conscious thinking about the ways his clothes tended to get stuck around his folds and how tight they looked in places. He pushed the thought away and started on breakfast. Normally, he didn't eat all that much for breakfast, at least not compared to his other meals. He didn't really get that hungry in the morning, preferring to keep things simple with some toaster waffles and bacon. He thought half the box of waffles was pretty moderate considering how small they were; there were only ten in the box to begin with. After licking up the syrup, Jamie ended the video with a wave and a smile hoping he was enticing enough.

Jamie closed the app out and forgot about it. Work usually kept him very occupied, so there wasn't a lot of time to check his phone. It was only at the end of the day when he got a call from Brandon that he thought to open the app at all.

"I'm genuinely curious: you really call five waffles and half a pack of bacon a light breakfast?" he asked Jamie incredulously.

"Yeah? I'm usually not quite full after that."

"Oh it's no wonder they're reacting well to this."

"How well?"

"Like two thousand likes plus a never ending stream of comments."

"No way!"

"Yeah and this comments section...honestly is pretty obscene. I definitely feel like some of these would make you uncomfortable, but still no fatphobic trolls so that's a win. People are definitely fans of you. They think you are the sexiest thing ever."

"I still can't believe this is a thing."

"It is absolutely a thing and it is happening to you. Lots of people hoping you'll keep making content, and you're already getting people offering to pay for you to eat stuff. I honestly feel like you should show them what you normally eat before you do all that."

"But I'm hurting now. The cash would be good to have now. You have no idea what I can do with that kind of money."

"I think I’m starting to." He said to himself. Then he asked, "Aren't you the same guy who was nervous about putting yourself out on the internet?"

"I am, but $40 is $40. I go through a lot of money in food and things like that. It would be pretty neat if I really could get a little help around here."

"Well, how does this sound? Take the offer, go have a good time. Don't deny yourself anything for the next month. Every time you want something, have it. You don't have to push yourself, just show off your normal life- and get it on film."

Jamie accepted the challenge. He took pictures and videos of every time he ate. Within the first week, Brandon was shocked to find out just how much food went towards keeping Jamie as big as he was. When he said breakfast was light, he wasn't kidding. He was ingesting thousands of calories just from the vending machine while he worked at his desk. One night he ate an entire party-size lasagna by himself and then remarked that "he still had a little space left, maybe dessert would finally top him off." He went to his freezer, grabbed a pint of ice cream he filled with all sorts of treats and toppings and ate it until he was licking the container. The scariest part to Brandon was that most of his videos felt like a confessional; no one was supposed to know all the eating he does, especially not the people in his real life- i.e. Brandon. Jamie was increasingly comfortable admitting to his new internet friends all of his favorite treats and tricks. That's how Brandon found out people put crushed Doritos on pizzas.

By the time their little challenge was ending, Jamie was on camera complaining how his jeans were getting a little tight. When the two of them met up at a function for a mutual friend, the conversation quickly veered off toward their project.

"You know, I had a lot of fun following your advice in the last month. I don't know when was the last time I got to have so much fun guilt free."

"Really?" Brandon asked. He thought back to a video where Jamie went back to a restaurant after their friend group left to have a second round of food. "I'm glad you've got a new space to do that now."

"Yeah, and the fans are really getting into it. They've got all kinds of food suggestions and the money never stops pouring in. They've been really supportive.”

"Speaking of ‘supportive’, how to put this delicately, has it gotten any harder for some of the things around you to physically support you and your new hobby?"

"Is this your coded way of asking me if I gained weight?"

"Yeah, I'm trying not to be really rude about it in public."

"It's fine. But it has gotten a little harder to wear anything with buttons, nothing wants to close anymore. I've easily put on 15 pounds, maybe even a whole 20."

"20 pounds in a month is pretty fast."

"That's why I was so nervous to start this. My body is an expert at putting on weight."

"So I see. Do you think you'll cut back down to something a little more manageable or-"

"No, I don't think the fans will like that too tough. That's like the one thing that gets them really jumpy. Every time I bring up the word diet or cutting, the comments get flooded with messages about how beautiful I am at this size and begging me not to lose weight."

"And this doesn't concern you at all?"

"I mean at the end of the day, they are people on the internet and this is my body. I get the final say on decisions I make with my body. I can always just lose the weight, right?"

"But it doesn't bother you that people are begging you to get fatter?"

"Honestly, no." Jamie laughed. "Like it sounds weird, but I kind of enjoy it. I mean, look at me. With no extra effort on my part, I gained 20 pounds in a month. If I'm going to keep getting fatter, I might as well do it with people who appreciate me this way."

"If you say so. As long as you're okay with it."

"Yeah, it's fine. All this talking about the channel is making me hungry though and I know I smelled something good earlier. What do you say we check out the snack situation?"

Sooner than expected by all, Jamie was planning on celebrating his first gainer milestone- 400 pounds. Jamie was a little surprised at the number, but his reaction surprised himself more. For a while, the idea of reaching the 400s was enough to send him into a crash diet of nothing but carrots and celery for a couple of weeks until a strong craving hit him right when he was starving. His willpower would fall apart in dramatic style, and his weight would continue its upward trajectory. This time, Jamie accepted it. It was shocking to know he had reached it with so little effort on his part. He expected to reach the 400s in the holidays, not from an extra trip to the vending machine at work. In fact, he didn't feel that much bigger crossing over the line.

While Jamie might not be excited, his followers were very excited to get the news. They begged to see him step on the scale and watch the magic number appear and sent some extra money to celebrate the accomplishment.. When Jamie saw how big the donations were, he knew he had to try to do something special. He had exactly one idea, but it made him a little nervous.

"So to... celebrate 400 pounds, I thought I would treat you all to a little sneak peak behind the scenes of the real life behind the fat man. This stuff annoys me, but you all seem to love it so I think you'll have a fun time. These are 4 of my big fat problems."

Jamie started off by showing his followers the pile of clothes he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. Every article of clothing in the pile was something he had destroyed just from being too fat. Shirts with the buttons popped off, belts where the buckle had been torn off, pants where his thighs had worn down the fabric from rubbing together all the time while he was walking and waddling everywhere, and everything where a seam ripped in defeat from holding back too much fat. More embarrassing than how he knew he was never going to fit back in those sizes, was how he had destroyed those clothes so no one else would ever get to wear them either. Trying to get them fixed would mean admitting that he had done all that damage to these clothes. To complete the exercise, Jamie put on an outfit from the bottom of the pile that looked smaller than he last remembered. The sweatpants were once the pants when he was too bloated to fit his normal clothes until his thighs made a heart shaped hole around the crotch. Years later, he could hardly get them around his legs. The fabric still felt delicate around the inside of his thighs, thin enough that he could practically feel the skin on tthe other leg through his pants. When he made the mistake of reaching for a shirt on the ground, the pants ripped apart all the way up to his ass. Jamie decided that was enough.

Number 2 was in his dining room. Jamie had a set of chairs that used to be his favorites in the house. He keeps them hidden now because he had two of them collapse under his weight in one night in the middle of a party. He won't use any of them anymore to save himself the embarrassment of using a chair that doesn't match. It doesn't hurt that even if he wanted to sit in one now, the arms on the chair are so narrow that he wouldn't be able to fit his ass in between. Jamie knew his followers would want the painful proof, so he gently lowered his rear end into one. First came the pinch of the arms skewering his doughy flesh, but the more he tried to unload his body in the seat, the more the arms relented against his flesh until they snapped off. With the arms no longer in the way to help slow down the inevitable, all of Jamie’s body plopped in the chair. The chair immediately protested with a loud symphony of moans and creaks. Jamie thought he might be safe from the ultimate embarrassment. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in the chair. Before Jamie could even process what was happening, the chair disintegrated into splinters underneath him.

Number 3 was deceptively simple: tying his shoes. It took so much effort to do every morning that Jamie actively dreaded the idea that they would get undone during the day. With a large gut permanently sitting in the middle of his body, reaching all the way around to his feet was a challenge. Every day he would try in vain to reach over his belly to tug on his shoes. Getting it done often required contorting his body into ridiculous shapes to bring his leg closer. When he was done, it often left him breathless and tired enough that he considered slides for the rest of his life.

The last segment of his video involved going jogging outside. In the early spring, the weather was a fairly mild temperature, but you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at Jamie. Jamie purposefully made it short- just one lap around his cul-de-sac. There was no delusion that he would go far when this would already be one of his longest runs in years. He recorded how his tits and ass and belly all bounced around with every footfall. By the time he was back at his house, Jamie was wheezing and panting. His shirt was wet all over and his face was drenched in sweat. Just a few yards had the ability to completely destroy him. With that, Jamie decided that he had enough.

Jamie posted and it was a runaway success. All around the clock, Jamie was getting comments online. They cheered him on and told him how beautiful they thought he was. They weren't afraid to tell him just how hot that video was to them. The more comments he read, the more assured he felt that he made the right decision. Why be ashamed of something that made everyone love him more? Maybe this was where he belonged all along. His followers tripled within two weeks. He promised his followers that he would eat whatever they paid for. Jamie tried to sweeten the pot for them too, "If you look back in the archive, you all can tell what kind of guy you're working with when I make promises like that. I eat all sorts of junk and stuff myself whenever I get a chance. I'm also probably not going to burn all of that exercising. If my last video didn't make it clear enough, cardio is not something that has a regular place in my life. So feel at ease, knowing your money is going to a very good cause." Jamie gave his stomach a couple of pats for the camera.

Suddenly, money started coming in like a water hose. Money was coming into his account, gift cards were getting sent to his email, and presents were showing up at his door. Jamie had full-on supporters now. They were all in, engaging with him whenever he wanted to be there. If he was considering being lazy or having a little extra dessert, someone was always there within seconds to tell him to do it. If he wasn't sure about finishing his meal, there was always a little encouragement waiting for him in his messages.

His new supporters also came with a bit more edge. They were more willing to speak their mind about the kinds of food he should be eating: fattier, more flavorful, more. They introduced him to shakes; they gave him new concoctions to try to actively help push a few more pounds onto his already very generous frame. It was a new step for him to take. All this time, he hadn't been trying to gain, the weight had found him from trying to have fun. This had all been an adventure in people enjoying who he already was. The last 25 pounds were already a big shock for him, what would happen if he really opened the floodgates and started actively gaining weight? What would people say?

Nothing he hadn't heard before, something deep inside told him. It was scary to admit, but people had been comfortable saying all kinds of crazy things to him about his size for a long time. 400 might have been a new threshold of big, but he'd been fat enough to draw the ire of folks for hundreds of pounds now. The stares, the jokes, the dire warnings of health concerns, and the snide remarks were already fixtures in his regular life. No one would care if he put on a little more weight, they had already written him off as fat. The only person's opinion that matters is his own...and he was having fun.

Jamie made a video taste testing some gainer shake recipes for the very first time. His mouth watered watching all these delicious ingredients get added to the blender. He chugged one after another before he came to the realization that each one of those glasses was the calorie equivalent of a full day's eating. "Maybe I overdid it," he admitted on camera. The comments assured him he was on the right path.

One evening a few months later, Jamie was meeting up with his friends to celebrate a birthday. He was trying to inhale the rest of the McDonald's he had picked up on the way in his car. When he heard a tap on his window, he was startled. Brandon was leering in. Jamie rolled down the window.

"Jamie, are you actually eating in the parking lot of a restaurant that you're about to enter?"

Jamie looked to the pile of food on the passenger seat and accepted lying was not an option. "Yes."

"Oh my God."

"Look, I know this isn't the best look, but I had to do something. My appetite has been growing a lot lately-"

"From the amount of stretching your stomach's been doing for the channel."

"-and I don't want to pig out at every meal that I have in public. I already eat more than everyone else, I don't need to keep adding fuel to the fire. You and I both know they really only tolerate all of this," Jamie jiggled his belly, "because we've been friends for such a long time."

"Yeah, but you've got to admit that this is getting out of hand. You've gained like a hundred pounds in the last year or so, and when you started this you were worried about how big you already were."

"But when I started this, I was also deeply insecure about the idea of even showing my body in public. Now I have people in my life who are genuinely excited about me doing the things I love the most and are happy to see me be me."

"I'm not sure this is you guiding you along. Feels a little more like the tail wagging the dog. "

"Brandon, you know my life better than anyone at this point. I want you to think back to my videos. Have you ever seen me this happy in my life?"

"No. I want to say I have, but I haven't."

"Exactly. Believe me when I tell you that I'm okay. I'm enjoying myself. I'm in control of the situation. I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't like it."

"Okay, but I think you should know you're starting to get to the deep end of all this stuff. I'm not going to be able to help you so much as you keep growing."

Jamie didn't take that as a warning at the time. He was more than content to catch up on Brandon's life while he ate. He had dessert after dinner and a midnight snack. Jamie kept on, knocking back gainer shakes like it was water. The only thing that gave him pause came while he was on the watch out to hit 500. Jamie went to his manager after his desk chair broke in a second place in one month. It had been a bit of a fight to get them to give him a big and tall chair in the first place back when he was cresting 300 and breaking it was not going to lead to a pleasant conversation.

"Look, I understand that we live in a body positive society now and the company is really trying to work on being more inclusive, but this is too much. We can't keep doing this. It might be easier to swallow the fact that you are now too big for a big and tall chair if it wasn't clear to everyone that you're also spending more time eating in your work day than actually working. Every paper that crosses your desk leaves with crumbs and grease stains and your numbers are slipping to the point that you're now last in the division. It's time for you to go."

Suddenly, Jamie was back in a crisis all over again. This time, though, he already had a lifeline. Donations had reached a fever pitch in the past few weeks and it was only going to keep increasing. The only real problem was that Brandon wasn't going to be able to help him find a new avenue to expand his business. Jamie turned to his followers, telling them all of his woes with the hope a savior would emerge.

He got another warning in his direct messages from another gainer. "Be careful what you wish for. The bigger you get, the more you're going to find people who are serious about this. The dark end of this community will drag you in if you're not prepared to handle it. There are guys who will keep pitching in with a meal or two, and guys who will take over your life."

That was what we had in mind when he met with Tom. Tom was a slender man who wore a dark suit and a sly smile. Tom had watched his videos since the very beginning. The bigger he got, the more active he had become in the comments.

"It's such a pleasure to get to meet you in person. I wish it was under different circumstances."

'Well these don't have to be sad either.”

“I didn’t say they were sad; I only wish they were different. I think every man of your… stature should be excited by the prospect of leaving your job to spend the rest of your days eating and having a good time.”

“Well I don’t know if it’ll be the rest of my days.”

“I can’t imagine after this little experiment you’ll be begging to be back working a 9 to 5.”

“I can’t imagine I’ll enjoy being unemployed.”

“It’ll help when you stop thinking of yourself as unemployed and more as a full-time content creator.”

“Right…what's the catch?”

A few months later, Jamie was living in the lap of luxury. Tom hired someone to come around every day to take care of chores and get him whatever food he wanted. (Tom had also hired him to ensure that food was now always within arms reach and Jamie did as little physical labor as possible.He would get a bonus ever time he could sneak in appetite stimulant or weight gain shakes into his diet) Jamie spent the first couple weeks just testing his new helper on the lengths they would go for his every craving. He never found something he wanted that wouldn’t show up for him in multiple greasy bags ready to be devoured. Catering pans filled with burritos or lasagna would show up whenever he wanted.

Jamie was glad for the extra hands around the house because it meant he could devote all his time to his favorite hobbies. He could binge watch shows and play video games for days. The internet would graciously supply him with any kind of entertainment to keep his mind distracted while giant bags of chips disappeared into his maw.

The best part, Jamie thought, was having Tom around. All the nagging voices of his coworkers were replaced with Tom’s. He would come over when he got a break or after work, usually toting a bag filled with Jamie’s favorite treats. While Jamie shamelessly licked his fingers and the bag for every morsel, Tom would whisper into his ears how sexy he found him. He would tell Jamie how proud he was every time he found fresh fat and stretch marks while he caressed his body. Whenever Jamie got nervous and embarrassed about outgrowing clothes, Tom would celebrate and order in the finest meals he could find. Tom had transformed unemployment into being the best thing that ever happened to him.

Time slipped away and pounds piled on. The bubble of indulgence burst when Brandon paid Jamie a surprise visit. The helper opened the door slightly and Brandon barged in.

“Jamie, I think there’s something you should- dear Lord! What the hell?” Brandon took in the full extent of Jamie’s new level of obesity. He would check in on videos occasionally, but months had passed since he last saw him in person. “The camera really doesn’t do justice on how big you look.”

“That’s what Tim says too. He says I’ll waste away if I’m not careful.” Jamie let out a nervous chuckle that shook his bean bag sized belly.

“Brandon, do you know how much Tim is keeping from you? Do you even know how much you weigh?”

“Well I got fired around 500 and we just did a milestone video not too long ago, so I figure I should be in the early 600s.”

“That milestone video was for 700 and that was six months ago.”

“Well time sort of gets away from you when you don’t have to be at work five days a week. But I’m making the best out of the situation. I’ve got great TV and these delicious snacks that honestly taste like butter and sugar.”

“It probably is just lard and sugar,” Jamie said. “And this isn’t raising any red flags for you? Aren’t you worried about fitting through doors anymore?”

“Not since we widened them all. I had a few incidents where I got stuck.”

“A few?”

“Well the first time, I thought it was a freak accident, but then it kept happening and each time it was harder for me to get out. There was one time Tim was going to grease me up to get me out the door with some butter, but I had already eaten it all during a feeding session.”

“And again, you’re okay with all this? A man just emerges from the internet and you let him feed you off a cliff?”

“Honestly, it didn’t take as much convincing as you might think. Tim has this belief that just some people were born to be fat and that’s it. That being fat is our role to play in the world. And like I probably could’ve gone into the job market and fought for another boring job I don’t even like just to make ends meet, but my other option was to be perfectly fine doing exactly what I want to do. I enjoy eating and lounging around all day and the more I do it, the bigger I get, the more money I make to spend on food and fun stuff. Outgrowing clothes, furniture, my car- it’s all just a part of my life at this size. It’s been a part of my life for years now, decades almost. And the price to pay- the stuff that my doctors used to say to scare me- I’ve made my peace with it. I’ve spent too much trying to be scared by it already. One more cake isn’t going to make the difference.”

“Give up, he’s already made up his mind.” Tim said, emerging without warning. “This is who he is now. He’s settled completely into a life of being fed and pampered. Now all he wants in life is to keep growing for me and his subscribers. That strong-willed guy you used to know is gone. He’s accepted life as a fat boy. .’

The doorbell rang. The caretaker opened the door and in came a man in a polo with a gigantic grease stained brown paper bag. The smell of all kinds of food filled the house. Jamie looked at Brandon who was licking his lips. Brandon couldn’t contain his excitement. Brandon said, stunned, “This is really your life now. This is what fills your life with happiness. Do you even have any of your mobility left?”

“Of course I do. Look, I’ll go fetch my mid-afternoon snack from the kitchen myself.”

“Snack?”

Brandon rocked back and forth, trying to get some momentum. For a brief second, he made it off the chair. Then the momentum switched directions. The weight of a family of four slammed into the sofa. The wooden frame underneath let out a scream before the whole left side broke into pieces.

“Are you okay?” Tim yelled out.

“Let me help you back up.” Jamie stretched out his hands.

“No, I can get up by myself.” Brandon tried the trick again. He rocked back and forth and hauled himself up with a mighty groan. Breathlessly, he said, “I told you I could do it.”

Brandon waddled slowly towards the kitchen. Every thunderous step shook the house, rattling anything not nailed down. It was hypnotizing watching the dimpled folds of his body pillow-sized thighs brush past each other. His gut swung like a pendulum back and forth out of the bottom of his shirt. Every movement made his shirt slide further up his belly until it was blocked by his chest. The sound of his panting was hard to ignore as it grew louder. It didn’t seem like a long distance from the sofa to the kitchen counter, but when Brandon got there, it was like he had completed a marathon. Everyone was stunned by the sight, except for Brandon.

“All of this is for me, right?” Brandon said, catching his breath, “I’ve been hungry since I finished my second round of lunch an hour ago.” Brandon tore apart the bag and stuffed a fistful of seasoned fries into his mouth while he rifled through the containers.

#gainer story #gainer fiction #gay gainer #wg story #bhm #encourager #glorifying obesity #death feederism

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

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hello, would it be possible for you to do a Sanji with a virgin woman if you have the time? Thanks a lot !:D

A/N: I love doing virgin content! (Does that sound weird??? Lol but we need more of it!:)) tysm for requesting! Hope u enjoy!

Also I made this one super long as a thank for for 500 Followers in less than 2 weeks omg AMAZINGGG thank u all sm :)🤍🤍🤍

“Prettiest Thing I’ve Ever Seen” Experienced!Sanji x Virgin! Fem Reader (FLUFF/NSFW)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Bad Summary: Feeling embarrassed about beinging the only one who’s haven’t even kissed a guy before. Sanji finds out and reassures you that it’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right one.

CW: A bit of a slow burn, Virgin! (She can also be implied as a bit Chubby ) Reader, Experienced!Sanji, A Bit of angst, Oral, Alotta of kissing and reassuring, Reader hesitates a lot, Vaginal sex, Blood, Love Confessing, Lotta fluff and a bit of Aftercare,

(Also, there is very vague shaming of being a virgin. Let me just say that there is nothing wrong with being an adultlt virgin. That whole “late bloomer” stuff is bull and you shouldn’t feel pressured to lose it to anybody, once you get a certain age, or especially if you’re not ready. It doesn’t make you any less of a woman or man if you’re in your 20s, 30s or 40s and still haven’t had sex it’s okay. My mum always said be the one everybody wants and can’t have, than the one everybody has already have.)

“The asshole didn’t even let me finish! Ugh. “ Vivi groaned taking another sip of her drink.

“You should have charged him for your time at least.” Nami suggested making you all chuckle at her typical response.

You all were finishing up a 3 days celebration with Vivi and to end the party you all decided have a moment to unwind and get to know each other more. Chopper went to bed early so Vivi insisted you all play a little drinking game to REALLY expose some facts about yourselves.

Everybody went around talking about their worst hook up during the 2 year hiatus and it actually shocked you how much experience your crew mates had gotten as they grew older.

“Even YOU Luffy?!” Vivi laughed as you all were dumbfounded that your 19 year old clumsy captain managed to lose his virginity.

“Well yeah I don’t really remember much of it though. She didn’t feel that great.” Luffy shrugged leaning his body on you fiddling with his fingers recalling the forgettable night. “It kinda just happened just before I left training with Rayleigh…”

You chuckled taking another sip looking away at the sea as the Sunny was still docked and ready for tomorrow’s departure. You didn’t get to meet anybody while training. If you were being really honest though, you couldn’t.

You probably had one of the best transformations out of the entire crew managing to lose over 40 pounds. You still had some fluff on you considering you were naturally a relatively big girl, but you still looked amazing & Everybody even seen you in a new light. Your hidden curves popped, your breast didn’t grow much but they were beautiful and supple, the only thing was you still didn’t lose much of your face fat so your chubby cheeks still remained.

It was a process trying to gain the confidence after losing weight. You’ve heard every insult in the book from men so trying to get into a relationship felt impossible.

“What about you y/n? Got any wild nights with any guys? You probably have with that smoking new body of yours.” Nami teased making you all giggle except yourself. You were a little self conscious to reveal that you couldn’t get anybody to come back to spend a night of passion or even just a quick fuck so you awkwardly scratched your head.

All eyes were on you ready to spill, especially a certain blonde taking a puff out of his cigarettes across from you gazing at you calmly waiting for your response

“N-no…none of my stories are interesting…I didn’t really have time t—-“

“What do you mean you didn’t have time! You look amazing! I know so many guys were all up on you—“

“Or was it girls, Y/N-San?” Robin crossed her legs across from you. Everybody except Sanji who was having a nose bleed at the thought “oooh”d and “aaah”d wanting to hear the spicy details of that night

“Oh No, haha I’m straight, but…I mean..one girl was interested but—NO! I didn’t sleep with any girls! Change the subject! Zoro—!?”

“What about me?” He turned his head back at you mid sip. “It was only a couple girls I met, but it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Those poor women…” Sanji sighed with disgust on his face before taking another hit to his cigarette.

You giggled at Sanji’s response while playing in Luffy’s hair after he fell asleep on your lap. When you heard that Sanji has slept with a few women (granted 2 of them were from brothels) you were a bit shocked. I mean you all are pirates and pirates do—-that kinda stuff. It had you wonder as well if he was a good lover? Did he bleed on them? Was he good with his tongue perhaps?

You know what no that’s nasty to see your crew mate in that way.

The rest of the conversation went on, but you decided to turn it in and head to your room for the remainder of the night since you wanted to wake up early to shop before leaving tomorrow.

You started journaling the past 2 years, at first it was to keep track of your weight, but now it has become something you enjoyed when you wanted to express yourself.

So, You were showered and ready for bed, but you wanted to include a bit more in your notes before heading to sleep;

“….and I felt so embarrassed not telling my friends that I couldn’t even get a guy to like me. Hell I never even kissed a guy before. I guess me losing this weight didn’t help much….I mean it’s whatever but man EVERYBODY got a little sum sum except me? I mean what’s wrong with me? I guess I’ll just stay a virgin…how pathetic…”

You heard a knock at your door, “Come in.” Your desk was right next to the door so you didn’t have to call out. It was Sanji peaking his head in with a cup. “Oh, hey Sanji.”

“Hello, my love you look stunning as usual!” He chirped walking in closing the door behind him to lean on. “I just wanted to know if I can add some stuff to the grocery list you had if that’s okay. I can give you some berries too.”

“Oh sure you can. Let me get it for you.” You took off your glasses (ignore this if your don’t wear em)to get up from your seat without thinking and walked over to your nightstand. “Just give me a second…”

He hummed admiring your body for a moment, how snug your sleep shorts were cupping your butt, and how you still don’t wear anything except that, some socks, and a bra before bed. It was so cute to him how your small rolls poked out from the side. He took a sip of his tea and noticed your journal from his peripheral.

“Hm?” Sanji tilted his head to read your last journey entry and his eyes widened. YOU really never kissed a guy?! No way! Is that why you were so awkward tonight? He thought maybe it was an old paragraph but seeing the date at the top confirmed you had just wrote it. He mindlessly kept reading further down reading your journal, but had to stop himself after realizing he was completely invading your privacy.

“Here you go!” Your eyes quickly shifted to your opened book of secrets and for a moment you nearly panicked but you seen Sanji just smiling leaning on the door. “This is the um…the list…you can give it to me in the morning.”

Sanji had a tiny of pink on his face as you approached him trying to play off him snooping through your business. You looked down to close it and place the journal inside your desk drawer.

“Thank you, Y/n.” He said calmly patting your head before heading out. “Sweet dreams.”

“Yeah…” you hoped Sanji didn’t read anything. The book was right beside him. You sighed heavily going to lay on your bed.

How were you supposed to sleep now if he knew your embarrassing secret?

The next day as you went shopping with the others Sanji couldn’t get you out of his mind. You really felt that way? You still don’t feel beautiful? Why was it so bad that you were still a virgin? You’re in your 20s there’s nothing wrong with that. But he understood your feeling. He sometimes regrets losing his virginity to some random woman. The night wasn’t passionate, there was no love into it, and it was really just the heat of the moment because he wanted to rid of himself of being a virgin.

He sometimes wish he would have lost it to someone like you.

Someone beautiful, caring, sweet, charming, so so soft, and just his type.

You and Sanji were of course friends, but you never actually had one on one time with him. It was were few moments it was only the both of you traveling in a pair but you both usually ended up fighting some enemies you encountered so there wasn’t much casual talk. He thought about maybe using this new go round to get to know you more. Maybe show you that none of those other assholes that denied you of love were worth it.

“NAMMIIIII ROBINNNNNN! HERE ARE YOUR DRINKS!” Sanji swirled to the women lounging on the deck as the ship set sail.

You finally came back out of your room wearing a pretty white short dress. You usually never wore them but you felt a bit warm and wanted to relax a bit.

“Y/N you look stunning in that dress.” Robin complimented taking the drink away from Sanji who in turn gave you big heart eyes. You sparkled in perspective, your legs looks so beautiful, your curves were more than enough, you looked like a Queen.

“Oh. Thank you.” You giggles holding the bottom of the dress. “I got this for my 23rd birthday but never got a chance to wear it.”

“Oooooh did a guy get you that?” Nami said smiling sipping her beverage. You did an awkward laugh of course not wanting to say the entire truth that you got it for yourself for a date but got stood up.

“N-no I did.”

“Y/NNNNN!” Sanji spun to you down on one knee holding the empty tray in one hand. “Please do me the honor of coming to the kitchen with me my love!”

You nodded shyly and took his arm to the kitchen, he pulled out the chair for you, “Thank you.”

He smiled before walking to the fridge and handing you a generous slice of cake.

“Oh! This cake is so pretty! What’s the occasion?” You looked up at him as he scooped out some off the cold spoon.

“Well…Your Birthday was a week before we all reunited and so I wanted to still celebrate it with you. Open.”

It was your favorite flavor! Did he really remember when you told him that 2 YEARS ago? It was just a brief little fact you told him without thought. You opened your mouth for him to feed you and the cake practically melted on your tongue, he executed it so perfectly.

“This was so good, Sanji.” You giggled licking your finger before reaching out to hug him. “Thank you. You didn’t have to.”

Sanji hummed and blushed smelling how sweet you were your fluffy arms around his neck felt so comfortable almost like a pillow.

He wondered if your whole body felt like that

“Oh anything for you, my love! I’ll do anything to make you smile!” His typical love eyes popped out smiling at you.

“I guess I had a good reason to wear this dress”.

“And you looking stunning in it, y/n! It fits you perfectly! If we weren’t in the sea I would have taken you out on the town to show off how gorgeous you look!”

You breathed out your nose looking down at the half eaten cake closely chewing. Sanji meant no harm by what he said of course but it just reminded you that on your birthday a guy you did really like was supposed to take you out with that dress but stood you up.

Sanji noticed your face change immediately and calmed down from his proclaims to sit beside you, “You okay? What’s wrong?”

You held your lips shaking your head, your stomach suddenly felt weighed, as delicious as the cake was you couldn’t finish it. You really felt kinda pathetic thinking back to all the times you were made a fool by men you liked.

“Hey…” Sanji quickly grazed his thumb on your cheek. You didn’t even noticed a tear escaped and it made you upset. Why the hell were you crying? “I-I’m sorry if I said anything wrong I—“

“No I—-I’m sorry. I’ll finish the rest of the cake later I just…have to go really quick, Sanji.”

Your voice choked out at the last few words making you grunt in annoyance. Sanji didn’t even have time to finish what he had to say before you stormed out the kitchen holding your face.

“Y/N…”

You were in your room crying softly so nobody could hear from the other side. It sucked feeling so insecure even after weight loss. Even after getting stronger. It just didn’t seem enough.

“Y/N…you in there, love?”

“I um…” you hand stopped it self from opening the door. Should you let him in? What if Sanji laughs about your issues. They were silly. Even though that would be completely unlike him. Sanji cared about all his friends feelings and yours was never an exception. you guess he wasn’t too bad considering he didn’t even wait 5 minutes before coming after you.

You sighed and prayed that if you let him in he doesn’t make you feel more worse than you already are because you were tired of holding these feelings. You slowly opened the door sniffling giving him a fake grin, “Sorry I le—“

Sanji wasted no time coming in to hug you. When you stormed out he recalled your actions when Nami talked about your dress, when you were asked questions last night, and from what he read in your journal it clicked. Something must have had happened on your birthday.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He kissed your ear to then get a clear look at your tear stained face. “You can talk to me.”

Your chubby cheeks were being slightly smushed by Sanji’s cold soft hands and looking into his eyes. He looked more genuine than you’ve seen in a while which is probably why you started crying more in his hands.

“Come here let’s talk.” He shut and locked your door and guided you to your bed. You just wanted another hug for right now and once you sat on the edge with him you couldn’t help but to rest your face in his neck, staining his collar. “It’s okay, Love.”

It was a comfortable silence until you sighed, “During training I met some guys…but they all didn’t like me. So for a while I just focused on getting better fighting and then after the weight loss…I met a guy…and he was really sweet so I thought maybe he was someone I could be with. But me being an idiot I believed what he said when he told me he wanted to take me out. He wanted to do it for my birthday so I…bought this dress, and waited for him for 2 hours, but I found out I was just a bet to see how easy I was to falls for his lies.” You pulled back from Sanji’s embrace to wiped your eyes, “He said he’d rather sleep on a train track than he caught seen with me.” You lightly chuckled trying to ignore the pain raising up inside you. You laughed alone though. Sanji was furious at such an asshole talking to you that way and taking advantage of your kindness . It was absurd?! Why do that to a woman? Or anybody for that matter?!

“I’m still a virgin…” You confessed before looking at his furrowed face. “I never kissed a guy. Never went on a date with one. I don’t even think I held hands with one, haha…sad, right?….I know romance shouldn’t be our focus right now but…I don’t know….I at least want to be desired… I see how men look at Nami and Robin and it sucks because they turn to me and think ‘Why the hell would they have that kinda girl on their c—-“

“Stop it.”

His voice was stern which made you look back at him as your fake smiled faded. He almost looked like he was about to cry too, but he shook his head in disappointment instead.

“Stop repeating those things about yourself like those assholes were right. They were not, true. None of it was or is. You’re not..you’re not —-“

Sanji wish he could find the correct words, but somehow they failed to come out, so he grabbed your hands. His thumbs rubbed against your skin, you looked back up and next thing your know Sanji’s nose was touching yours.

You don’t tend to feel hot in the cheeks but your face felt hot all over.

“You’re not that. Even before you loss the weight you were so….breath taking.” It was almost like something clicked in Sanji. Remembering his time with you, how funny you were, how careless you were willing to put your life on the line for all of them, how selfless you were as well, and he even remembered the nights he would hear you cry behind your bedroom door. He didn’t know why but he always suspected maybe it was from the men he had to beat up because they made fun of your weight.

Sanji always found you beautiful. He just wished he would have told you then. His eyes were almost reflective of the sun setting through your window, he cigarette long gone and on the floor looking into your pretty doe eyes.

He leaned in slowly nearly attaching his lips to yours until you whispered, “You don’t have to feel sympathy for me…”

He stopped, lips just barely over yours and he sat back slightly embarrassed clearing his throat.

“N-no! It’s not sympathy I really….I really feel this way…Y/N I…I should have told you before but..I love you.”

You blinked, his voice wasn’t flirtatious, his eyes weren’t filled with his typical hearts, he genuinely meant what he said. It nearly scared you see how serious Sanji was.

“I love you and…I want to..I wanta….I want to show you it….”

He intertwined his hands with yours, and you let out an airy giggle, “You’re my first hand hold with a guy.”

He matched the same laugh, “Im glad…can I…be your first kiss too?”

Your heart started to nearly beat through your chest for the first time in a long time you felt butterflies AND AROUND SANJI TOO. You always was flattered by him. He was so sweet and charming but you never felt flustered. It was a new kinda feeling and you liked it a lot.

“Y-yes…”

He scooted closer and you closed your eyes. Your lips were parted for a short while feeling Sanji’s warm breath feel closer, you were shaking in anticipation until you felt a weight on your mouth. It was a still kiss.

Sanji didnt Move. He knew you never done this so he wanted you to get the rhythm right. The kiss made you grab ahold of his hand tighter until he opened his eyes.

“Like it?” His voice was hopeful, comforting really, your kids slowly opened to his Pinked out cheeks. It was so cute. Seeing him like this.

“Mmhm.” You nodded sucking your bottom lip to still try and taste him on you, “yeah I really liked it….can you teach me more?”

“Y-yeah! We can absolutely!” Sanji was relieved seeing you be so vulnerable with him. He leaned forward into you holding your chin now and moved his lips. You struggled to follow his motions for a second but he slowed down and allowed you to get a steady pace with him.

It didn’t take much time until you laid back not detaching from him. He got a little more firm with his lips, placing his hand just shy on your wide thigh. His fingers rubbed your fluffy skin so gentle and with care you barely noticed his hand up your dress which overwhelmed you for a moment so you pushed him back softly.

“I um…”

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” The panic and concern in his voice thinking he made you uncomfortable was ironically comforting.

“N-no I just…—“

“I’m sorry, love we don’t have to further this…I dont—“

“No…I want it….I want you to…be my…—-“

“I want you to take my virginity, Sanji.”

You mentally cringed at your words but what the hell do you say? You could see his adams Apple bob from the harsh gulp. He never taken a woman’s virginity and it’s YOURS so he wanted it to be perfect.

“Okay..” He breathed with that special smile, it was a rare one he barely did but it was so cute because it showed the faint dimples he had. “But listen to me…Y/N…if at any point your want me to stop just tell me okay? I want us to be safe..okay?”

“Okay, Sanji…can you um…well can you kiss me a little more ?”

You were so fucking cute to him right now.

He laid you back down to continue and this new go your kisses weren’t as shy. Sanji was able to move his lips how he wanted, “You’re a faster learner, sweetheart.”

You blushed, he kept kissing you and squeezed your thigh to get a reaction out of you and you felt embarrassed doing so arching your back, but Sanji didn’t care he just glided his tongue in your mouth to hear you moan more.

“Mm..” you hummed in his mouth. His touches became more confident moving up your dress again and rubbing his thumb on what feels like a thong and in turn made Sanji’s cock twitch at the thought.

“You’re so sensitive.” He whispered.

“Is that bad?”

“No! No! That’s perfect…just means you’ll feel even more.”

You wanted to question what he meant but he kissed your neck making you breathe out sharply.

“‘M ganna take these Off okay?” He tugged at your panties.

“I…wait…can you tak—“

“You want me to take mine off first?” He was already unbuttoning his shirt off the bed asking so you just said yes.

He stripped down and you mindlessly began to rub your thighs together waiting in anticipation. You never seen a guy naked before (except Luffy that one time) but this was different.

“Okay..” He pulled down his boxers to show his semi-hard cock. It looked huge, granted though you never had anything to reference it from , you chewed your lip nervously looking up and down his lean yet chiseled body, he had a very nice built for a slim looking guy, “You okay?”

“Mmhm…. You’re very …pretty.”

Sanji chuckled at your shyness, it’s a different view on you, but he moved closer to kiss you again and cupped your cheeks.

“You wanna go now?” He asked on your lips. You nodded again and stood up, he helped you out of your dress and your underwear, but you rushed to cover your body, you had many scars from past battles including some stretch marks. You were prepared to see Sanji look disgusted but when you looked up from having your bra thrown to the grown his eyes were enamored it was almost as if he found the All Blue.

“You’re gorgeous.” Was all he whispered at you before he laid you down. He continued to kiss you again, a little bit more sloppily than the first few times, internally he became impatient but he knew he wanted to savor this moment with you.

“Sanji…” you moaned feeling him nip and kiss at your neck, one of his hands were slowly pulling your arms off your breast to fondle them. “Sanji!”

“You are really sensitive…it’s cute.” He kissed your ear. “Tell me when to stop okay? You can do that for me right, my love?”

Something about his soft gaze and reassertion to your pleasure made you clench, it was attractive.

“Y-yes.”

“Good Girl.” He winked at you lowering his head down to your breast. “All of you is so beautiful…”

He sucked and licked his tongue all around your erect nipples. You hissed at the new wet contact on your body and suddenly felt his hand intertwine with yours.

He lowered his head down your tummy and seen a big scar you always had since Thriller Bark. It made you stop wearing crop tops and he noticed this, his let’s go of your hand to brush against the large mark and kissed all over it. The sentiment made a tiny tear fall the corner of your eye, but you brushed it off.

“Your whole body is beautiful…it always has been.”

He didn’t leave a part of your body kissed and appericiated. He kissed down your legs mentally smirking at them clenched together.

“Can you open your legs for me please?”

“Mmhm…”

He pulled apart your legs and your hummed at the cool air hitting your glistening folds, you didn’t realize how wet you got just from kissing,

“S-sorry…”

“What are you sorry for, my love?….you look perfect.”

Sanji sat on his knees and admired your pretty pussy just for a moment, “can I..taste you..?”

“Yes please….” You nearly sounded like you were whining at this point. You didn’t care your body was shaking waiting for him to just—

“Oh!” You moaned out. His tongue worked wonders inside you, you were still so sensitive to a man’s touch you didn’t realize you were begging for more with his body.

“H-hey…” He smacked his lips off your clit, you stopped and covered your face feeling that you were bucking your hips without thought. “It’s okay…don’t be embarrassed I want you to feel good..”

He reached over and grabbed your pillow, he lightly tapped your side to raise them and lay on it.

“See. Better.” He kissed you inner thigh and went back down.

“…Sanji ah—!” He kept humming and groaning inside you with both of his hands on your thighs.

His tongue felt amazing, so amazing in fact you felt the bottom of your tummy twist.

“I’m—! W-wait I feel like…I feel like I have to pee.”

“That’s okay just let go..”

You jerked your face at his words, he wants you to pee on him? You thought.

However you didn’t have to pee and he knew that so he sucked and licked on your clit with more pressure until….

(Actually fun fact when women squirt it is indeed piss mixed with other bodily fluid but let’s pretend it’s not💀)

“S-Sanji yes!” You screamed out your throat, Sanji noticed your hands reaching out and immediately grabbed onto them both looking you in the eyes as you released on him. “Sa—ah!”

He gave little peppered kisses on your pussy and crawled back on top of you, his cock was glistened with pre cum and it was so pink. You actually were afraid it may not fit.

“You okay?” He brushed some of your curls back admiring your panting fucked out face, “You tasted so good, baby.”

“C-can we do that more…like another day?”

Sanji looked at you shocked and red from ear to ear, “Y-you…you’d like to do this again?”

“Well yeah I..I really like you Sanji and I….I thought that because we were doing this you felt the same and wanted to be with me…”

“Baby..” He grabbed your chin carefully and kissed you making you moan into his mouth and tasting yourself in his tongue, “We can do this as much as you want….I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too.” You smiled.

“‘M ganna Stretch you out with my fingers okay?..wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“Okay Sanji i Trust you.”

You kept making this man so damn flustered he nearly forgot what he was about to do, but he shook his head and looked down seeing the mess you made.

“There you go…” You hissed a little at just his index finger, “You are super tight—fuck.”

“Is that bad?…I never um…touched myself before.”

He snapped his eyes at you. REALLY?

“It’s okay!” He kissed your cheek, “Don’t be ashamed of that…”

Half of his body was on your side as he held himself up with his elbow while his other hand was pumping in and out of you. It felt kinda weird at first but Sanji managed to squeeze a second finger.

“Feel good?” He looks back up at you. You barely at a moment to respond seeing at your eyes were shut and furrowed slowly nodding. He bit his lip and used his thumb to rub your clit “There you go…”

You got used to the stretch of his fingers, moaning near his ear as he sucked and kissed your neck and came once again. It wasn’t as powerful as his tongue but it still made you a panting disaster.

Sanji lifted himself up and rubbed your inner thighs, “Oh—should I um—“

He seen you reach out for his cock but he grabbed your wrist, “don’t worry about me, sweetheart. It’s all about you. Lay back okay?”

He gently pushed you back on your back and he grabbed his shaft and swirled his tip inside you.

“Ah!”

“You like that?” He looks up at you holding your knee.

“Mmhm”

“Okay baby imma go slow—-grab my hand.”

You let out a shaky breath and Sanji noticed, so he lowered himself closer and looked you in the eyes.

“It’s ganna be okay. Im Right here. You squeeze, scratch, or even bite my hand if it’s too much okay? Anything you need I’m here.”

“Okay.” His words were something to put you at ease, mostly because you knew he meant it. Sanji had a goal and that was to make this time special for you. And he plans to do just that so he slowly put his tip inside making your whine.

“Come here, I gotchu ..” He pushed his lips onto yours to help you get your mind of the sting and pressure, “It’s ganna hurt a little okay?”

“It’s okay…I Like it.”

He finally slid himself in very slowly, you gasped when you felt a little bit of liquid trickle down between you both. Sanji noticed it and looked down to see you bleeding.

“Okay..I’m inside you..do you…feel—ah.” Sanji moaned feeling the tightness wrapped around him and squeezed your hand. “Let me know when I can move okay?”

“Y-you can move.”

Sanji went unbareably slow, he seen the contort in your face and steadied his pace a little bit more faster but shallower.

The room began to fill with slapping of the skin and you both moaning into each other mouths. He felt amazing and you felt incredible.

“Sa—san…Ji! You feel…so good! Ah!”

Sanji started to feel his head get fuzzy, he began moving faster to the point the headboard was knocking on the wall in rhythm

It was painful just for a second until you felt his cock brush and find your g-spot.

“Y-yes! Sanji there! Yes!”

“Yeah? Ah-you feel amazing sweetie comhere—“ his last words were muffled from your lips he couldn’t stop at this point. He didn’t want to. His hand reached down to your clit rubbing messy circles to get you close.

You muffled that you were cuming, you felt tears running it felt so good, the same twist you felt before was coming back but this time it was more intense.

“San—Ji! Please…c-cum…cum inside me!”

He rolled his eyes back hearing your naughty request. He usually wore condoms but he wanted you to feel all of him.

“O-okay! Whatever you want baby whate—ah! Fuck cum with me please!”

“Sanji!!!”

You held onto his entire body tightly moaning and biting his shoulder. This was the best orgasm Sanji has ever had with you. You were so soft against his muscled body the whole time he didn’t want to left go. He moved his arms under your butt and squeezed you tightly against him making your lower half be lifted off the bed. Your fingers dug into his back repeating his name like a song. And it was to a Sanji. Your moans were beautiful and your scent was so addictive. You were definitely the woman he can do this every night with.

You both finally calmed down and he gave you one last sweet kiss before pulling out and seeing the damage. His cum was leaking out of you with a tinge of red liquid pooling through as well.

“Sanji..” Your Voice brought him out of his trance, “hold me?”

“Of course Baby of course!” He laid beside you and pulled you in close and you rested your head in his chest. “Good?”

“Mmhm.”

“…did it…did it feel okay?”

“Yeah…felt amazing.” You played with his chest giving it small kisses of appreciation. “Thank you, Sanji.”

You looked back up at him and pecked his nose making him giggle lightly. “Thank you, for being my first.”

“Anything for you, my love.” Kissing you back once more, “And I hope to be your only.”

And that he was.

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deathblacksmoke · 1 month

Text

Dramamine—Part 8

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Nick Ruffilo

Series Summary: Cynical, brooding bartender Nick meets too-earnest, pretty boy singer Noah when The Rabbit's Foot starts hosting an open mic night.

CW: angst, self-hatred, self-doubt, mentions of death and grief, i’m fixing things <3

*Content warnings are updated by chapter*

Word Count: 1.8K

Author’s Note: beta’d by @circle-with-me and @darksigns-exe, big fat colossal thank you for listening to me bitch and moan and whine and panic about this chapter for weeks. was really starting to think i’d never get this one out. anyway thank you everyone for your patience, please enjoy 🤍

dividers by @cafekitsune 💐

He doesn’t have the capacity to deal with it, the way they’ve been tip-toeing around him all morning. Folio flitters around wordlessly behind him, busying himself with one unimportant thing or another. Jolly has hardly made eye contact. Neither have said more than a good morning or excuse me.

Besides Jasmine, he doesn’t know what was discussed when Noah came in last. He’s afraid to ask, since it was seemingly enough to warrant the silent treatment. Or maybe they’re too nervous to scare him off again, but whatever it is, it’s making his skin crawl.

He’s inclined to let himself sit in it, allow himself to get used to the uncomfortable silence if it means not having to face any of this. But he already lost Noah—he barely had him to begin with, but he’d so quickly allowed himself to grow fond of him. It didn’t take any time at all to get used to how nice it felt to have him around, to wake up to a good morning text with a cheesy little emoji. He hadn’t had anything close to that in years. He’d forgotten what it was like, how much he liked it, how it made his stomach twist pleasantly. He wasn’t prepared for what a life without him would bring, how quiet and agonizing every moment would feel.

He can’t lose Jolly and Folio, too, not when they’re this close to being all he has left.

The bar isn’t nearly busy enough to distract him, anyway. He’s been here for two hours and no more than 2 customers have walked through the door, staying momentarily before walking back out. He’ll swallow his pride just this once, if it means breaking the deafening silence and going back to normal. Whatever his normal may be.

“Can we talk, or are you both going to ignore me all day?”

Folio leans against the bar fidgeting, while Jolly stares blankly at Nick with his arms crossed. It’s clear he’s going to have to do all the talking for the time being, and the idea alone turns his stomach. He hasn’t had a clear head in years, hasn’t had the ability to properly express himself in even longer, and he can’t do this.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?” he finds himself asking, feeling indignant and knowing he’s chosen the wrong tone, the wrong words, the wrong way to approach this. It’s made even worse when Jolly doesn’t respond, looks anywhere but at Nick.

He knows he fucked up. He knows he is fucked up, but they’re his friends, not Noah’s. They’re supposed to be on his side.

“I just—” he starts, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. He’s humiliated enough as it is without begging for their support. “I just need you guys to be on my side. Please.”

Jolly’s arms uncross before he fixes Nick with a look that reads pity. He hates the way he shrinks into himself, feeling unbearably small, but it’s better than before. He prefers to feel pity over the miserable suspicion that he’s losing everyone.

“I think it’s time for you to let yourself have a good thing,” Jolly finally responds, and Folio promptly nods in agreement. Nick can’t help himself when his eyes roll back.

Maybe they’re right, but she’s the only thing he’s known for all these years. There’s a dread that overpowers him, nestles into his ribcage and twists, when there’s a moment he allows himself to consider letting go. He’s grown tired of the way everyone looks at him, though, like he’s this awful wounded thing.

Even after everything, he’s not used to this clawing emptiness that surrounds him. His head, normally torturously loud, sits quiet. He didn’t realize he’d have to lose one more person to finally have that. He always thought he’d be grateful when the moment finally came for him to have peace, but he finds that it isn’t what he wants.

He’d only just started enjoying the levity again, the feather-light weight of an existence with Noah in it. Now the silence, rather than peaceful, sinks heavily around him. He doesn’t think he deserves to have that floaty feeling, but he begins to wonder if it’s worth denying himself any longer.

“I can’t, Jolls,” he finds himself responding. There’s something caught in his throat, his vision blurring. He’s so exhausted. “I don’t know how.”

When Jolly sighs, it doesn’t feel like a disappointment. Jolly has always had the least amount of patience for his bullshit, but there’s a softness to his sigh, a sorrow that makes him feel awfully guilty.

“You have to, Nick,” Folio interjects. Nick feels as his body starts trembling—he knows something has to change, but he doesn’t know how to do it. There’s a comfort in Folio’s touch when his hand wraps loosely around Nick’s bicep, and he lets himself sink into it for a moment. There’s no fight left in him to stop the tears from spilling, feeling humiliated as he wipes them away. “Your life didn’t end at 29. You have to stop acting like it did.”

Hers did, he thinks to himself but doesn’t dare speak aloud. Even he knows that she would hate for him to be living his life this way. He can see the exact look she would fix him with, shoving at his shoulder, telling him to stop being silly.

She would be so ashamed.

There’s a beat where he lets the realization register before the door is being swung open, slamming violently back closed with an audible cracking sound.

He connects the thundering footsteps approaching to a face he distantly recognizes. His mind flits from confusion to a painful melancholy as he places her.

“Autumn?” he asks, but her pace doesn’t slow—her expression growing angrier than it was when she first stomped through the door.

He hasn’t seen her since the funeral, or heard from her in almost as long. He can’t begin to imagine what she’s doing in his bar, fuming, staring at him like she wants to wring his neck.

“We need to talk about Noah,” she says. It’s not at all what he expected, and his heart sinks.

There are so many questions he wants to ask, but none of them seem right. He watches pitifully as his circle narrows, as his life gets smaller and smaller and everything gets harder to outrun. Everything is all too connected.

He settles on the question that feels most pressing.

“Is he okay?” Nick asks, regretting it immediately as Autumn rolls her eyes. She always was a protective friend, more than once cornering him at a party when Jasmine had gone to the bathroom.

He’s grateful Noah has someone like that, though he’s not grateful to be at the receiving end of it again, no matter how much he deserves it.

“No, Nick, you destroyed him,” Autumn seethes, and it’s a punch to the gut, not that it surprises him. “He was so sure about you and now he’s been at home for days crying because you don’t want him. I can’t let anyone hurt him again, so tell me. What the fuck happened?”

The again that Autumn tacked on doesn’t go unnoticed. His heart shatters all over again when he thinks of Noah crying over him, feeling undesired or unwanted. Every decision leading up to letting Noah down was harder than the last.

He does want him. More than almost anything, he wants him.

“You know better than anyone, Autumn,” Nick tries to reason with her. It’s not like he wants this, exhausted and working against himself as he slogs through every day. “You knew her better than anyone. You know why I can’t—”

“No way is this about Jazz,” she says, interrupting him. She sighs, and there’s a softness in her gaze that he remembers. But she’s so, so angry, and he’s not sure who for. “She wouldn’t want you to be living your life like this. She loved you so much and she would be so hurt if she knew you were stopping your life for her. You know that.”

And he knows she’s right. He’s known it the whole time. It makes it all worse.

“I can’t let her go,” He miserably admits, on the verge of tears again. “Noah deserves someone better than me. Who isn’t so fucked up.”

Noah deserves someone perfect. He wants it to be him.

“He decided on you,” Autumn reminds him, matter-of-fact. “No one’s making you let her go, especially not Noah. But you can honor her memory by not letting her death ruin your life. Let yourself have a good thing. She would want you to.”

It’s like they rehearsed it, Jolly and Folio and Autumn. Let yourself have a good thing. He knows they didn’t, and that’s what makes it worse. That means it’s true, that he deserves it.

He considers it for a long moment. There isn’t a whole lot left to say. He’ll decide in the moment—he can’t screw things up worse than they already are.

“Should I call him now?” Nick asks, and Autumn raises her eyebrows, surprised. Jolly makes a shocked little sound. Autumn motions for him to go ahead.

The line rings and rings and rings. His anxiety spikes, and he’s sure it’s clear in his eyes. “He is working, at the shop,” Autumn tells him. “You could text.”

Can we talk?

A minute passes. Then two. Then five. He hates standing here under their watchful eyes, waiting for a text to fix his life. A read receipt, and still no response.

He wonders if Noah feels as panicked as he does.

Please, Noah. I have to talk to you.

The three dots that appear taunt him. The response comes quick enough.

Come by at 8.

He lets out a breath—the panic continues to rise, but at least there’s something. A chance.

“I’m coming by at 8,” Nick says, voice wobbly and humiliating.

Autumn nods, muttering out a simple good, see you then before turning on her heels and leaving, seeming awfully self-satisfied. He’ll have to thank her later.

“How are you feeling?” Jolly asks, sounding a little unsure himself. Folio claps him on the back so hard he stumbles forward, already weak on his feet.

He feels sick. It’s a good sick, he thinks.

“Like I’m going to throw up.”

Parked outside of Noah’s, working up the courage to go in, he does the only thing he knows will make it all feel complete. Permanent and real.

“Hi, honey,” comes his mom’s voice through the phone, clear and bright.

“Hi, mama,” he responds, taking a deep breath in. “I want to talk to you about a boy.”

Tags: @concretenoah . @circle-with-me . @darksigns-exe . @ladyveronikawrites . @agravemisstake . @monotoniscreaming . @cookiesupplier . @bngurngheart . @jiizzy . @screamsinsilver . @iknownothingpeople . @anameunmusical . @sitkowski

#bad omens fic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens rpf #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian rpf #nick ruffilo fic #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nick ruffilo rpf #nicholas ruffilo fic #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo rpf #noah sebastian x nick ruffilo #noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo #deathblacksmoke works #fic: dramamine

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scarybabe · 8 months

Note

I was reading your most recent ask discussing the toxicity of some members towards people who started skinny but chose to get fat.

I find it interesting that a community that claims acceptance of all body types becomes toxic when one chooses to change that body type. I definitely think that fatphobia is a large part of the equation there, and this could easily be tested by seeing if people who have been thin their whole lives react as negatively to someone who consciously chose to loose weight. At the same time, I've seen (anectodally, so take with a grain of salt) toxicity from the FA community whenever one of their favorite models decides to lose weight of their own volition. Do you have any idea why that might be? I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

I think that people only like change when that change corresponds with their personal tastes, and disapprove when the change is making us less attractive to them.

When I was petite & known for my inflations and stuffings, I definitely caught heat from a big share of my content consumers because changing my appearance so much diminished my ability to give the crazy before and afters i made myself known for. And at some point in the future whenever I lose weight after hitting my 300+ lb goal, I know people will be upset because they either wanted to see me even bigger or expected me to stay the same size forever.

My point is that people’s tastes and preferences are all over the place and unless you stay exactly the same forever, you’ll always disappoint somebody.

People often forget with weight gain models especially that there is a human connected to all the sexy body fat that y’all adore. You should always put the well-being of the human first, and if someone wants to gain/lose weight for their own happiness or well being you shouldn’t interrogate them or shame them for doing what they need to feel good in their skin.

I also think honesty and transparency is huge - I’ve been very open about my weight gain being a semi temporary thing from the BEGINNING and everyone knows they’ll be getting pregnancy content from me someday in the semi near future❣️ and as great as I usually feel at my current size, not being genetically predisposed to carrying this amount of weight has given me some lower back pains from gaining so fast - basically I know I will have a better experience being pregnant if I’m strong and fit (I’ll remain fat don’t worry, just not quite as fat). I basically plan on lifting weights and eating intuitively until my body finds the size it’s happiest at and I don’t care what the number is as long as I feel capable and strong ❤️ it could mean even just losing like 30 lbs lmao - I’m not concerned with being petite ever again, just losing the back pain and gaining muscle.

All that to say that setting expectations also affects people’s reaction to someone changing their size as well - knowing and expecting it will still make some people upset sure, but at least it won’t be because they feel “lead on”. And to go even further - just because I like to share a lot about my planned body transformation trajectory doesn’t mean that a content creator is required to disclose their personal health status & plans outside of what they choose to share and nobody is entitled to that. By sharing as much as I do, I don’t want to set a precedent for expecting THAT MUCH from everyone - just be thankful to have creators who do let you in on our personal lives and for those of us that don’t, respect their boundaries.

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betterfettered · 1 year

Note

a request 🥹

mc gets chained and abused as a lesson, how would the brothers and/or the others react when they lose their will to fight back and start to romanticize/stockholm their situation?

yea i'm good thanks for asking hhhh

The second part of your ask:

how would the brothers react if stockholm mc decides to stop eating as much so they'll look more pretty, dainty, abuseable, not have the strengh to fight back? would they encourage it, be greatful, not care at all or tell them to eat more?

I can answer this for ya, though I would like to say that regardless of your size, reader, you are pretty, dainty and abusable just the way you are 💖💖 I also don't mean any of the below to mean that any of the brothers wouldn't like fat darlings or anyone of a particular body type. As a fat girl I would never betray my audience in that way 🫡 Let me know if I missed any TWs

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(Disordered eating)(pro eating disorder attitudes)(violence against reader)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and abuse is disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Yandere!Lucifer would not mind at all if your will to fight back disappeared. In his eyes, it means you have learned your lesson and won't be foolishly disobedient anymore. He will probably give you more privileges because of it. The starving yourself, he would not approve of. He decides what you eat, how much of it, and when, so he'd tell you to knock it off.

Yandere!Mammon would at first like your new attitude because it means he can do whatever he likes with you, but then it would start to bother him. I think he actually likes the banter the two of you get into, so seeing how deflated you are now would make him kind of sad. He'd probably try to act goofier to make you laugh and chide him. The not eating, Mammon wouldn't see a problem with a first, just thinking youre on a harsh diet (which isnt abnormal in his social circles because hes a model), but once you started showing physical symptoms like being faint, sallow skin, shaking hands, brain fog, he would tell you to stop it and eat more. He might do this in a snarky way to hide that he feels bad for the role he played in your becoming like this.

Yandere!Levi has more experience with two dimensional people than real people, so I don't think he'd quite understand how bad things were getting for a long time. He'd see you losing the will to fight as making you more sweet and gentle, and make you dress up in frilly lacy pink things like docile characters in whatever he's reading/watching. He also would probably agree with you that it increases how dainty you seem for you to eat less, remarking on how you're like a doll that only he gets to play with. He wouldn't notice until your symptoms got much, much worse that there's a problem, and I think it would probably take him asking one of his brothers (in a poorly disguised hypothetical) to figure out exactly what's wrong.

Yandere!Satan doesn't just want you to be docile, he wants complete and active submission. Saying that to say, he doesn't just want you to nod when he's talking to you, he wants you to kneel and bow until your head touches the floor. If you are submissive in that way, he will love it. If you're not, he'd be irritated and you can expect more abuse until you get it right. Once you start eating less, though, he'd probably consult with some books on humans to figure out what has gone wrong with his. Eventually he'd find some stuff about the physical impacts of eating less and the psychology of the way you're behaving. Then start trying to unwilt you the way someone does to a plant, so he'd take you outside on walks on a leash, play music for you, let you talk to one person a day (humans are social creatures, after all) and tell you to eat more. If you refuse to eat he will make you eat by force.

Yandere!Asmo won't like that you're more docile because to him it would feel like you're less attentive. He likes when you're outgoing and opinionated, he wants you to be fully present with him (and only him) and reactive. He'd assume you're kind of depressed so he'd take you to do fun stuff to try and cheer you up, like shopping and amusement parks and spas. With the not eating, I think Asmo subscribes to diet culture in general because of some lines of dialogue he has, including a couple about dieting himself, so he probably wouldn't even give you not eating a second thought. He may give you a compliment or two. I think he would be another who needs someone else to point out that it's becoming an issue.

Yandere!Beel would not like that you are romanticizing the situation because to him the way that he restricts and sometimes abuses you is a means to an end, where you can be a happy family together and you won't try to run away any more LOL He would try and tell you that he's not really like that so you don't need to get used to it, and when you seem comfortable while restrained he would be sad. The not eating would also make him really sad. He would encourage you to eat more and more, and probably would also force you to eat if you didn't.

Because of his own experience with being restrained, if Yandere!Belphie is chaining you up and abusing you, you have probably made him very, very angry. At this point he doesn't trust you at all, and you've probably done something to make him feel abandoned. He'd not buy your docile "act" and maybe even mock you for it (Belphegor ur chapter 16 is showing). You'd better work hard at regaining his good favor, because who knows what he'll decide to do if you let him stew on it? He also would not like you not eating your food, but at this point he's more likely to just order you to eat rather than force feeding you.

How was that anon? Did it scratch ur itch?

Everyone, send more asks! 🙇🏿‍♀️

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meowzfordayz · 10 months

Text

i hear your heart, feel your soul, see your body; i love you

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader

Word Count: ~700

CW: implied body insecurity

Emergency Request Fulfilled: May I suggest Tanjiro with a chubby!reader? I keep being told I’m “too fat” or that I “need to lose weight” and it’s been crushing my self esteem and my confidence, if it’s too much, you can disregard this!

“Sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” Tanjirou asks carefully, watching your eyes flit back and forth then back again along the page of your book.

“Whaddya mean, what’s on my mind?” you murmur, eyes still flitting, sentences jostled and blurred, “Nothing’s on my mind.”

Propping up his chin on his elbow, the mattress dips as he leans in toward you, “You get this look when you’re thinking, and I’m always curious to know what you’re thinking.”

Snorting quietly, you place your book upside down on your lap, fixing him with an even stare, “Even if it’s nothing?”

“It’s not nothing,” he replies simply.

“How about if it’s dumb?”

Smiling playfully, he nudges your arm with his forehead, “Duh, then I can tease you about it!”

Inhaling slowly, you press the tip of your tongue against the sharpness of your teeth, tasting your confession—sour and reluctant—as it spits from your gut, “And if it’s my deteriorating self esteem due to how overweight and fat I am?”

Silence seeps sticky and thick between you, the heat from his body, normally soothing and homey, radiating erratic and worried from his gaze to your rapid heartbeat.

“Is that how you feel?” he finally says, unnaturally steady.

“That I’m fat?” you chuckle wryly, “I don’t know,” absentmindedly flicking the worn corner of your book, “But insecure? Absolutely,” sighing lightly, a faint smile curving your mouth, “You wouldn’t get it.”

Frowning now, his eyes close, opening after a long pause, his hand finding its way to your knee, “You’re right, I wouldn’t. I don’t,” fingertips tracing incomplete circles into your skin, “But I do know that you’re amazing,” tone taking on an apologetic edge, “And I also know I’m not exactly sure how to navigate this topic. Of course, my immediate instinct is to reassure and flatter you, but I just…” fingertips ceasing their ministrations in favor of resting his palm flat and warm on your kneecap, “I don’t know how to best support you. I don’t get it, I don’t,” swallowing loudly, breath in his stomach, “And I’m sorry for that.”

Placing your own hand atop his, you squeeze gently, “I didn’t mean to put you in a difficult pos-”

“Darling, you haven’t put me in any position at all, other than the wonderful position of getting to be your boyfriend.”

Nose crinkling with a contented exhale of air, you mutter softly, “Even though I’m chubby?”

“Even though people are cruel and inconsiderate with how they choose to address you,” he clarifies, scolding, protective lilt in his voice, “You can only control so much.”

“What if I wanted to lose weight?”

He doesn’t hesitate, “Then I would be here for you throughout and after that journey.”

“And if I didn’t want to lose weight?” you whisper, unable to meet the sincerity glowing in his eyes, “If I just wanted to be happy as I am, right now?”

A low hum splinters the tension, time passing patient and thoughtful before he eventually answers, “Then I would reflect on how I could be a better partner… on how I could aid you in feeling and keeping that happiness, on what I might be missing or lacking to help nurture that for you.”

A quick burst of laughter cuts through the remaining tension, wide grin on your face as you lift his callouses to your lips, reveling in the rough, familiar surface, “You are sooo unbearably sweet.”

Pouting, he dramatically tugs his hand away, “Unbearably?” soon returning to cup your jaw, sheepish glint in his eyes.

“Fine, it’s bearable…” you acquiesce, nuzzling into his touch, smelling faintly of sandalwood and ginger, “Barely.”

“I love you,” he smiles, methodically taking your book and resting it on his bedside table, “No more pretending to read, sleep now.”

“Rude,” you huff, eyes rolling fondly at his gesture, “And I love you.”

“You can always share what’s on your mind.”

Wiggling under the covers, you fold his hand against your sternum, toes digging cozily into his shins, stifling a yawn, “I’ll try.”

“I know,” he yawns unabashedly, chomping playfully when you inevitably try to stick your finger in his mouth, “And I’ll be ready to listen.”

#tanjiro kamado #tanjirou kamado #kamado tanjiro #kamado tanjirou #tanjiro x reader #tanjirou x reader #kamado x reader #drabble #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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sombrashe · 2 months

Text

content drug dealer!Troy x weed smoker!Reader, chubby! afab! gn! reader, drug mention, lots of dr♡g content, reader is a little dr♡ggie 🫶🏻, it's just weed, pubic hair, cunnilingus, blowjob

note(s) this is not at all edited, i wrote this on my phone and need to post it immediately ♡ this is for all my slutty virgins

Huffing you follow closely behind your friend. Her hand is intertwined with yours, but you still feel like you could easily lose her in the crowd. You weren't exactly sure whose party this was all you could tell was they threw ragers based off the noise level that only grew the further down the block you walked. Despite the bruised ribs from randoms elbows you made it to the front door in one piece.

"Hey Charlie!"

Ahhhh so this is Charlie. Smiling you give the blonde woman a quick nod. Your friend keeps her grip on your hand and you suddenly feel like a child whose mom just saw a friend at the grocery store. You manage to keep your patience the people in like behind you two more than annoyed enough. After a good few minutes Charlie kind of shoves your friend forward with the promise of finding her later. Making your way inside, you're surprised at how dingy the house is. From the outside it looked gorgeous with the dark masonry complimenting the lighter woodwork. You barely have time to check out the area before you're being led down a hallway and into a white tiled kitchen. Now this is what you were expecting. Granite topped counters, sparkling white tiles at your feet and sea green back splash adding a pop of color to the medicinal styled room. It was a gorgeous room and you got to take a longer look before you are led to the opposite side.

"Troy... Troy! Hey! This is my friend. Yeah, the one i was telling you about. Yeah. It's their first real party."

She punctuates her sentence with a gently shoulder bump. You have absolutely no idea who this man was. He was ridiculously hot though. You find yourself unable to look away as he conversed with your girl. Only when he takes a glance at you do you break your eye contact. Heat creeps up your neck as you slowly look at him again. Trying hard not to seem eager at getting an eyeful.

"Troy."

He extends his hand and you shake it. Awfully formal for a house party. You can't help but think theres something more to this guy. The way he held himself and how he was alone but in a deliberate way. This is the dealer I was telling you about. Your friend mutters against the shell of your ear. The music thumps in tandem with your heart as you try to give a polite smile. Theres no way this guy will want to sleep with me.

A few months ago your friend was so excited to tell you about the new drug dealer who moved in down the street. His house an immediate hub of activity. She blabbed on and on about how cute he was and how she couldn't wait to introduce you to him. You let her have her moment and listened carefully to every word she said.

"... So I told him about you and he really wants to meet you! Showed him that cute photo of you when you got your hair done last week."

You were shocked to say the least. Why the hell did she tell him about you? And why did he really want to meet you? These were both questions you verbalized and her response had heat rushing to your head.

"Oh well he normally gives discounts to pretty girls, especially the ones willing to sleep with him, but i think he's willing to make an exception for you. He said he loves your style. Thats a huge compliment coming from him."

You blink up at her and move from your lying position to sitting fully upright. Sleep with him?

"I haven't even tried his shit yet. There's no way I'm giving head to a dude with shit weed."

Your friend just hopped down beside you and bumped the contents of her Sephora bag onto your lap. Two packs of edibles, an eighth and a cart bounced onto the fat on your thighs. Taking a moment to look through everything you finished your investigation by opening the baggie and taking a wiff. Your friend sat by expectantly, waiting for your response.

"Just because it smells good doesn't mean it is."

She sighed and flopped back onto your bed.

"Then try it silly. Thats the whole point. If it's as good as Jessica says it is then you could put that mouth to good use and score us some freebies."

You mumble under your breath saying nothing of real importance. Sliding open your bedside table you removed a small red and pink speckled bowl. Alongside the bowl you pull out a hello kitty grinder and a paper plate. While your friend plucks a few bits of the bud from the baggie you open your grinder and let her place the small pieces onto the spikes. Closing the lid you twist it a few times checking once to make sure there was none stuck. Carefully, using the plate to catch and fallout, you start packing the bowl. Picking up the few little bits that fell from your fingertips you dust them on top of the packed bud. Slipping the plate and grinder back into the drawer you replace them with a plain black lighter. Clicking it on you raise the bowl to your lips and take a breath. Holding it for a moment you soon exhale a cloud of dilapidated white smoke. Smacking your lips you make a show of trying the bud. Another hit. Another exhale. And you're passing the bowl over to your girl.

"Okay so maybe I am willing to meet this new guy."

"I'll introduce you." She puffs proudly in between coughs.

He mirrors your polite smile with one of his own, a bite of something more behind his pearly whites. Squeezing your arm your friend excuses herself to go and find Charlie. You watch her go before turning back towards the tall man. God he has to be at least 6 foot. And handsome as hell. Taking a step closer you lean up hoping he takes the hint. He does and leans down so you can speak against his ear. The music much too loud for regular conversation. You introduce yourself, a manicured hand gently gripping lean muscle. You got them done especially for him. Your friend explaining he goes for the ones with longer nails, "maybe he likes being scratched." She had giggled. Her eyes bloodshot.

"How do you know Layla?"

His voice is a deep rumble coming straight from his chest as he spoke lowly. A conversation for just the two of you.

"We've been friend since middle school, met in math class. We were both in one of those higher level classes. Never got anything done though."

You give a small laugh and squeeze at his bicep making sure he feels the blunt edges of your nails gently pressing into his polo. He's so close you can feel him smile against your helix.

"Sounds like you had a lot of fun."

"I'm always having fun. I love fun."

It was corny, but it worked. His left hand leaves his side and finds its way against the small of your back. Guiding you he stays hunched over for a few more moments.

"Then I think I have something you're going to love."

Straightening he's at his full height as he walks side by side with you through the crowded living room. Red solo cups and beer bottles clink on the wooden floor as you shift through them. You catch your girls eye and give her a small wave and a oh my god he's so fine look. You see her start to make a thumbs up before you're ushered into a small room. The room was bare except for a table almost displayed in the middle of the room. He places you in front of the table and you wait patiently as he moves over to the small closet in the corner. Shifting through a few things he seems to find what he was looking for and with a smile shakes a fairly large metal box in your direction. Coming back to the opposite side of the table he spends like ten whole minutes organizing and placing different products onto the table. Your jaw drops slightly at the amount of strains he had placed in front of you. Once he's finished he opens his arms wide with an award winning smile.

"Ta Dah. I have a gun so don't try taking my shit."

You shake your head and scoff.

"Im trying to see your dick not get shot."

His grins turns wolfish as he plucks a small baggie with no label. Opening it carefully he plucks out a piece of bud and holds it up to you. You lean forward and take a quick sniff. Loud as hell. Fuck he smells good. Opening your palm you examine the piece under the lamplight. Deep orange speckles with dark green in a gorgeous cacophony of color.

"Whats the strain?"

You move the piece of bud from one hand to the other.

"Hybrid."

Rubbing your fingers together you feel just how sticky they are.

"How much?"

Another sniff

"For you? On the house tonight. How much do you want?"

You pause and raise an eyebrow. Free?

"An ounce?"

You say it more like a question. He responds by plucking the piece of bud out of your fingertips and drops it back into the baggie. Wrapping the baggie back up he pockets it before looking back into your eyes.

"Wanna see any others?"

He drums his fingers across the table. You shake your head.

"An ounce will be enough for the month. If i need more i'll be sure to come straight here. Do you have any papers? Preferably pre-rolled. I don't like getting my fingernails dirty."

You wiggle your nails at him and he actually takes your hand in his to look at them. You weren't expecting it and blushing heat fills your cheeks. He hums in agreement. He's so gentle when he releases your hand before packing up. Clutching your hand in the other you watch him meticulously put every baggie into the box. Carefully stacking them on top of one another.

"On the house. You do that for everyone who wants to give you head?"

"Only the ones I actually want it from. Youre one of the lucky ones."

He flashes you another wolfish grin before turning to hide that box away. You make a point not to watch as you wait patiently.

"My papers are in my room. You can wait down here while I grab 'em."

"Do you mind if I come with? I'm a little picky."

He makes the few steps from the closet to you. Holding out his arm he waits until you're wrapped around him. Leading you through the door he pushes past people bent over taking a bump. You straighten and stay close like the sweetest piece of candy. The stairs are tricky, people slumped over half asleep and you have to trail behind him. He keeps your finger interlocked though and you know for sure he's wrapped around your finger. At least for the night. Hopefully many nights. Hooking a right you walk into a master bedroom. It was huge with a giant plush bed resting in the corner. Is that a fucking mirror?

"You have a mirror above your bed?"

"Yeah. I find it helps my clients cum faster when they can see me fucking 'em. You mind?"

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

You turn around and listen as he rustles around seeking out his product. Was he going to make me watch? God you hoped so.

"m'good."

You turned back around and towards his bed. Laid out were a few different types of wraps. You walked over and placed a hand on his arm. Scratching at him with a pout.

"I'll take any pre rolled, i don't care. I'm in your room now. Can we move on?"

"Thank god."

He grabbed up the wraps and discarded them on top of his spotless dresser. He's cupping your face within a blink. His lips crash against yours and you taste the faintest hint of Mary on his lips. The kiss is brutal and you smush your face closer to his. Teeth nicking lips. Tongues licking lips. And all you can do is moan nice and pathetic for him.

"You're like really hot." He mutters out loud.

His hands float from your neck and jaw to your hips where he pulls you nice and close. You feel how hard he is through his jeans. Reaching down you cup him. Trying your best to rub at him through the denim. He groans and grinds into your hand. He's back to cupping your jaw and his thumbs rub at your cheeks. His lips never leave yours and you swear you weren't going to have any left if you kept this up. You decide to pull away and looked up at him. His eyes are stormy. Fuck he made you wet. You fight the urge to pull him back into a kiss. His lip has a split down the middle and you realize you have a matching one on the top lip. He doesn't wait even a moment before he's pushing your jaw up so he can mouth at your neck. Sucking in some of your flesh he chews on it before letting go. Moving down a bit he leaves wet bruises in his wake. Licking at your collarbone he chews on the fleshy bone. All the while you're undoing his belt to let the tip of his cock poke out of his briefs. Squeezing at the length of it you occasionally rub the tip of your finger against his slit. He pulls away just enough to pant at your slick skin. Bumping his forehead against your chest he replaces your hand with his. Yanking down his pants he let them pile at his ankles. You take the hint and gently pull at his hair to remove him from your chest. Sinking down to your knees you roll his briefs down his thighs and over his knees. He shrugged off his jacket in the process and his leaking cock jumps against his t shirt. Olive green darkening to an army green as his cock leaks a wet spot. You hum and take him in your palm. Taking the tip of his cock in your mouth you suck gently on it. It tastes surprisingly sweet and you hum directly against him. He groans out and cups the back of your skull. He doesn't push down and you appreciate it greatly. Letting spit fill your mouth you wait until you get a good bit. Letting it leak from behind your lips you use your palm to slick his shaft. You move fingers over veins and pull away to lap at his slit.

"You taste so good. Such a pretty dick."

His hips jerk and this time he forces your head back down onto his cock. You smile and swallow around him. Pushing yourself you swallow inch by inch until you can fully relax to take him down your throat. The patch of hair that leads from his belly button to right above his pelvis tickles the tip of your nose. So fucking pretty. As you bob your head he lets out the sweetest noises. Moans and whines fill your ears. His hips jerk every time your nose touches that patch of hair. You feel his abdomen clench as he tries his hardest to stay still. Scratching gently at his hardened abdomen his skin jumps a few times. He grabs at your wrist and keeps his grip loose as to follow your actions. Squeezing his spit soaked cock you suck at his tip a few more times.

"'m 'boutta cum."

You hum in acknowledgment and continue to jack him off into your mouth. It doesn't take long before his hips surge forward and he's filling your mouth. Salt coats your tongue and you greedily milk him dry. Swallowing every drop you pull away from him completely and wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand. He crouches down and sticks his tongue in your mouth. Making out with you for a few minutes before pulling away beaming.

"G'nna let me taste you?"

You lick at the bone of his jaw. Chewing on it before answering.

"First time i've been asked that." You give a short laugh.

He looks into your eyes suddenly serious. "Go on 'head and get on that bed."

You suck in your bottom lip. Standing you pull off your slacks. He looks at your exposed cunt. Looks back up at you. Then finished by making eye contact with your cunt again. He presses a sloppy kiss against the fat of your labia. Kicking off your jeans, socks and shoes you climb onto his bed. Stretching out you arch your back before settling down facing him. His cock is already hard again and rests against his abdomen. His shirt having been discarded during your little show. Crawling towards you he looks up at you over your belly.

"Just know, this is the first time i've eaten a client out."

Heat washes over you and causes you to clench around nothingness. Using his thumbs he spreads your folds apart. They split with a wet squish. Reaching down you gently run your fingers through his hair.

"So pretty. Bet you taste so good."

He's leaning in, his tongue out and waiting. Flattening it out he presses it against your clit with a low groan. You feel heat burn at your eyes as his tongue gently laps at your clit. It's overwhelming how good this feels.

"Wait do that again... fuck. Right there. Thank you thank you thank you."

you can't help but chant praise as he follows your lead. Only breaking it to give an experimental suck. When you react positively he follows a routine. Lick, suck, lick, suck. You say his name in warning already feeling yourself worked up enough to cum.

"Hold on. W'nt you to cum on my tongue."

He replaces his tongue with his finger and you let out an annoyed huff. Kicking your leg down you connect your heel with hid shoulder blade.

"Oh come on. I can get you there again."

He rolls his shoulders giving you a warning glare. You just roll your eyes a slump back.

"You ruin every clients ability to cum?"

"Just the one's i think deserve a little extra time."

Even though there was anger at having been kicked bouncing around his eyes he gave you a genuine flirty smile. He takes a moment and starts circling your clit with the pad of his pointer finger.

"Tell me how you want it."

His words flip your stomach as butterflies threaten to burst out of you. You give him simple instructions: "just like that." "No wait do that again." "Can you try something?" He follows every order with great precision like he was made to be in between your legs. You're so turned on you're not even thinking about much better he can make it. Saying something too soft to make out he plunges his tongue inside your dripping cunt. You let out a mewl as he flicks his tongue inside of you. No one has been so attentive like him and you start to get lightheaded. Dragging your nails gently against his scalp you egg him on with a crescendo of noise. Removing his hand from your clit he reaches up slightly and roughly tugs at your pubic hair. Your hips jerk and you let out a shout as you grind incessantly against his face. He takes turns causing you that small amount of pain before rubbing at you. You're so close now. You can feel the heat in your lowers abdomen start to smolder. So close. So close.

"Please don't stop."

He mumbles something into your cunt but it's far too mumbled to even begin to decipher. He keeps his actions strict his only focus right now was to make you cum. The way he laps at your core tells you all you need to know. Soon that heat bursts and you're gasping out a cry. Your thighs clench around his head and he gets buried in soft skin. Removing his hands from you he reaches to clutch at the fat of your lower belly. He seems to be enjoying himself just as much as you. The vibrations of his moans and sharp whines help tumble you further and further. When you're finished and calmed enough to relax your legs he gets to work pressing gentle kisses all across your pretty soaked cunt. When he leans back you're able to sit up. You immediately feel the need to lay back down when you get a look at him. His styled hair was a complete mess, sweaty strands sticking to his forehead. His lips and chin were covered in your essence, slick that he licked his lips to get. It's his eyes that cause your stomach to clench, oceans of blue darkened and pupils blown so wide you might as well of been looking into a black hole the way they sucked you in. If he wasn't gorgeous before he certainly was now. Especially with the cum stain on his shirt. He came by eating me out... i wanna fuck him so badly. He stands and offers you his hand. You slide your palm against his and he helps you onto your feet. And then holds onto you as you stumble your bones feeling like jello. He chuckles and tucks some hair behind your ear.

"Don't go falling for me now."

"Corny." You let out a snort of a laugh and he grins triumphantly.

Straightening you up he waits until you're able to stand without shaking before letting go. He leans down and yanks his brief and jeans back onto his hips. Leaving you unattended you dress yourself as he goes through a closet finding a new shirt to wear.

"You can go 'head and pick any cones you want. Here's your ounce."

He chucks off his shirt and tosses it into a pile of clothes. He removes the baggie he stashed earlier and tosses it your way. You catch it and slip it into your pocket. You were used to this part. Going through the cones you settle on some hemp ones. Pocketing those too you start to head out when he calls to you.

"This better not be the last time I see you."

"Trust me, after tonight I'm a regular."

He chuckles and pulls on the chosen top of the evening. It's the last thing you see before you're closing the door with a click.

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#fear the walking dead #fear the walking dead smut #ftwd #ftwd smut #dealer!troy #troy otto #troy otto smut #troy otto x reader #troy otto x reader smut #chubby reader #serena writes

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danisbrainrot · 2 months

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Hi 🌲

I couldn't stop thinking about Johanna and reader getting married. I think Johanna would randomly propose (so random she may propose after a nap).

At the wedding I imagine it would just be reader, Johanna, and their pets.

In the book, each district seems to have a wedding tradition, so I think in District 7, they may plant a tree to symbolize their growing love. Since they use rope to help climb trees, maybe they could tie a knot in a rope, with each of them holding an end to symbolize their trust in one another and how their lives are now intertwined.

And the next time she sends a letter to Finnick, Katniss, or Haymitch, she'll just attach a picture of her and reader in their wedding gowns with a note saying, "l got married, by the way"

I would love if you could do some headcanons or a one-shot about it, but even so, I wanted to share it with you because I couldn't stop thinking about it

this is going to be a ramble, soz, but i'll definitely add it to my list for a one shot idea.

words can't describe how much i love this idea, thank you so much for sharing it with me! honestly, i agree with everything you said, because i love the idea of johanna and you having a really private and intimate wedding, and the thought of her just mailing everyone a photo of the ceremony as a kind of, "oh yeah, by the way, here's what happening in my life recently." but in reality, honestly, i think the two of you would have your own private ceremony and then like, a nice little gathering with the remaining victors (and finnick because, he's definitely raising his son in district four, i don't know what everyone else is talking about. mutts? what mutts?). i just love the idea of their being like a first dance or something, and johanna and reader are gazing into each other's eyes so lovingly, and everyone's swooning over them (well just peeta and annie, i can't really see the others swooning over them, tbh). but if you and johanna want to, you'll have a quiet ceremony for just the two of you. either way, she doesn't mind. as long as she has you.

also, for the wedding tradition, that's literally so creative??? give me your brain please, because you have come up with some of the best prompts i've ever received, and now you've given me another banging one. i think that johanna wouldn't really be into that kind of stuff, she's not a very traditional kind of girl, but you'd be super into it so of course she'd pretend to love the idea as well. the tying of the rope kind of reminds me of the greek wedding crowns, where they're joined by a ribbon i think (idk much about greek weddings, tbh, i've only seen my big fat greek wedding and i remember that scene.) i think that's such a cute wedding tradition, and secretly johanna would love it because she's terrified of losing you, that physically tying you to her makes her feel comforted. the rope symbolises a lot more than just a union, it symbolises a connection that the two of you will always have.

for the tree idea, i think it would be one of those traditions where johanna would find it extremely corny, but because you find it endearing she doesn't say a single thing. she's on her knees, getting dirt under her fingernails with you just so she could plant this tree with you. if you needed a physical symbol of your growing love, then she'd give it to you, because you'd offered her more than she could ever repay you for. safety, comfort, contentment. you were home to her, and she wanted to show you how much she loved and trusted you in whatever way possible.

i can see wedding dresses going either way, tbh. you both wear one, or johanna wears a suit while you wear a dress, or vice versa. hell, i could even see one where you both wear suits. i don't think they'd be white though. white would remind johanna of snow and torture, so i could imagine like a red for her—purely because it would match her hair. and then for you, like a deep rich green, for the forest and the trees. (omg, i just realised those are christmas colours, but honestly, i don't think panem even has christmas, so it's just a bit of fun for us).

honestly, the wedding is set in the backyard, among nature. that's the vibe for the whole ceremony—people there or not. it's got a rustic, woodsy atmosphere and the two of you love it because it is just so, intrinsically, home. bonus points if johanna's saved the pinecones and all the stuff katniss got her in mockingjay, and made a little display with it.

as for the proposal (probably should have started off with this, lol, oh well), if it was by you, you'd have gone all out (not in a public way, but more of a romantic dinner or date way) and planned it to a 't'—and while johanna appreciates the effort and love you put into it, she'd love a more intimate proposal. and what's more intimate than when lying in bed together, watching the drool spill from your mouth as you snore slightly and take up most of the bed? she'd shake you awake and propose to you there, realising that she wanted to see that sight every morning when she woke up.

#johanna mason #johanna mason x reader #thg #thg series #the hunger games #fanfic #wlw #fluff #rambles #wedding traditions #johanna x reader #danisasks #blurb #wedding #reader and johanna marrying each other #dani's fics <3

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zooweemama143 · 5 months

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misc greaser backstory headcanons because i'm bored and it's time for this fandom to hear my lukewarm hot takes <ब₍₍( ˃̗εू˂ )₎₎<ब

johnny and lola's fatal relationship flaws are learned from their respective sets of parents.

johnny grew up witnessing his parents' tumultuous marriage and often felt like he was walking on eggshells due to his father's possessiveness and short fuse. mrs. vincent stayed, no matter how much her husband's fits of rage scared her because she felt she had a duty to her family. her one silver lining was that at least he never laid a hand on her (no, he'd only punch the walls near her or throw dinnerware– that's not abuse, is it? was just one of the numerous feeble defenses johnny would hear from his mom.) (the one time she DID defend herself, the situation escalated and eventually landed both of johnny's parents in prison. because he was already 18 when this happened, social services did not get involved.)

lola's father cheated on her mom and as a result, she's never had any stable relationships beyond short-lived flings. ms. lombardi consequently passed her bitterness about the affair and the divorce onto her daughter; it didn't help that lola's father stopped giving a shit about her after he married his affair partner and started a family with her. witnessing her family breaking apart, her mother wrecking her life with numerous toxic flings, and the father she used to love so dearly doting on his son with his new wife had not only resulted in non-committal tendencies, but also a dislike of men that borders on misandry.

(on that, i feel like a case can be made that lola's a closeted lesbian with MAD comphet, but that's a story for another time.)

peanut's home life is nearly similar to johnny's, but what sets them apart is the fact that peanut's father– alongside his verbal abuse– outright beats him; that's where his intense napoleon complex stems from. initially, his mother was the victim of his father's rage, but the older peanut grew, the more he fought back for her. consequently, at some point, he essentially became his father's outlet for his rage. he hates losing fights, being made to feel small and weak, because, well– if he can't fight back, who'll be there to protect his mom?

norton's family is relatively more normal and maybe even more stable than the rest of his clique's, but they're– unsurprisingly– not without their own issues. i feel like most of the conflict within the williams' family stems from the clashing ideals between norton and his dad; norton's a guy who was radicalized at a young age (since he's quite well-read), and his father– a police officer– represents the authority and the system he hates so much. becoming a greaser was not only teenage rebellion, but also a way to show that he outright rejects what his father believes in; he resents him for being a sellout. officer williams is aware of this.

vance is the only son among a brood of daughters. the second eldest child, he shares a close bond with his younger sisters, but a hesitant, nearly strained relationship with his older sister. their father is absent, and their mother overworked, so both of them are parentified– even if ms. medici didn't intend for that to happen. vance's never been shy about his bisexuality, and the unorthodox way he expresses his masculinity is a source of contention for his sister. she resents how carefree he is, how arbitrary his priorities are (like his obsession with his appearance, his social standing amongst the greasers, and his various romances in bullworth). their father couldn't be the man of the house, and now vance can't even fill in that role if he tried.

as implied by some of his voicelines, hal's fatness is (not so) secretly a major source of insecurities for him. his mother truly tries to be as supportive as she can be, but his father– perhaps another alumni of bullworth, maybe even a former jock?– is especially harsh on him, his "tough love" bordering on outright verbal abuse. hal was initially sent to bullworth in order to "whip him into shape" (both figuratively and literally), and his dad hit the roof when he found out that hal decided to join the greasers instead of getting into something "worthwhile". he tries to be as confident as he's making himself seem, though his dad's comments about his body and his hobbies and his friends cut deep.

ricky was essentially raised by his older brother (a former greaser himself). their parents have never been in the picture, and they were initially raised by their hyperreligious, paranoid grandmother before ricky's brother had enough– he moved out at 18 and took ricky with him. he had to take numerous odd jobs just to support them, ultimately dropping out of his last year in bullworth and forgoing college in favor of working. despite their similar personalities and interests, this is why they often clash– ricky's brother had to sacrifice his schooling for him, and he wants nothing more than for ricky to be responsible and successful. to be the opposite of who he was.

on the other hand, lucky essentially raised his younger siblings (a sister and a brother). his mom walked out on his family when he was still a kid; consequently, his dad fell into a deep depression, was laid off from his job, and turned to alcohol and gambling. lucky had to step up to the plate and be the man of the house in his stead. he's not quite sure who he resents more: his mom, for walking out; his dad, for taking away his remaining childhood; or the system, for fucking them all up in the first place.

lefty is a latch-key kid. both of his parents may be present in his life, but it's as if they're not all that interested in their son– he doesn't quite know why, but there's the implication that he's an accident; one that forced them to have a shotgun marriage despite not being in love anymore. they provide the bare minimum for him, but not much beyond that; whether its gifts or affection. he'll claim he's given up on trying to win their love a long time ago, but he can't deny that with every new scar he earns, he wishes they'd notice. at least once. (with concern or anger, it doesn't matter anymore.)

#tldr the greasers are bonded not only by their mutual interests but also by their tumultuous home lives #i think thats part of why theyre so loyal to each other. the group isnt perfect dont get me wrong #but no one else understands them like they do for each other yknow?#though i think this blind loyalty also often alienates lola from the rest of them #like she understands them to a degree but shes all too aware the boys dont view her on an equal level with them #she's kind of a special case imo. she isnt as loyal to her group as the rest of them but she knows theyre all she has in bullworth #(thats a story for another time tho)#but sigh. i love her. sorry. my misunderstood pookie #anyways ill do the jocks soon 💪#tw abuse #tw implied homophobia/biphobia #long post #bully cce #bully scholarship edition #johnny vincent #lola lombardi #peanut romano #etc im not tagging all of them lmao

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eggluttony · 6 days

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Eggman stuffing himself silly in order to make sure his ass stays bigger and more beautiful than Gerald's ever was 🤤

After all, Gerald's Era is over, and it's Eggman's time to shine 😎

Yesss I love to think of him having the title of fattest Robotnik in the family, that it's common for the men to be on the heavier side but none before him have ever been as fat and heavy as him 🥰 He takes a lot of pride in this and eats a lot to keep that title too, as well as maintain his egg shape and live up to his name, and how he just loooves to eat and get fatter of course hehe

So when he's having one of his big binges, he lets the thought of keeping the title of the biggest and fattest motivate him to keep eating. Stuffing himself silly until he feels like he's about to burst. When lay back pinned down by his huge stuffed bulging belly, surrounded by empty stacks of plates and food packaging, he feels happy knowing he's making sure of that

He says "Ughh, yeah I don't need to worry about losing title of- *BUURRRP!* biggest after that. Huff!" as he slaps and rubs his huge stuffed heavy belly expanded beyond capacity. But then he wonders if he's really had enough calories to turn into a significant enough amount of fat. So he orders robots to bring another couple refills of a dish or dessert, or another pile of snacks

He lets greed take over entirely, forcing even more into his swollen full belly that's gurgling and tight and struggling to expand any more. He tells himself he absolutely needs to stuff his face with as much food and calories as he can to maintain this proud title. This is all he can think about as he shoves even more food into his mouth. That's when he ends up really feeling stuffed silly

Where all he can do is sit back moaning, sighing, and belching and is unable to get up for a while. He rubs his huge packed full belly he says "alright, I definitely don't need to worry now. BUURRRP!" and feels very content and certain in succeeding in his goal now. He feels very sleepy after so much food and naps so his stomach digests without burning so many calories, in hopes of keeping more fat

He commonly stands in front of the mirror to check his assets of belly, tits, and ass to make sure they're big and plump. He's pleased when they look enormous. When he squeezes his tits, shakes his belly and slaps his butt while looking at his reflection, he thinks "yeah these are definitely bigger than my grandpa's" when thinking back to photos of him that he's seen for comparison.

Gerald was a pretty fat guy himself but Eggman really wants to be the fattest ever in the family, as much as he admired and looked up to him. It's really the same attitude he has when it comes to being a scientific genius, it's his time now and he needs to surpass him! And because he's so much greedier and eats so much more than Gerald ever did or had the time for too, he certainly succeeds.

He may be a little oblivious to the fact that he's not just maintaining his weight to keep this title, he's gaining more over time with all the excessive stuffing and frequent binges. His tits sag rested atop his fat hanging belly and his butt is so wide and thick. The sheer width of his big fattened body is starting to make him get stuck in places. But all the soft heavy fat jiggling in these places feels so nice.

When his huge stuffed fat round belly rips through his clothes or pops buttons and his fat wobbly bubbly butt rips through his bodysuit too, he sighs happily knowing that his are the biggest and fattest belly and butt in the family, so much that his clothes can hardly contain them so often, something that the other fat men of his family surely didn't deal with anywhere near as often.

And well, it's actually because he just keeps getting fatter and fatter too and eventually he'll realize the way his belly and butt only continue to expand hehe

#asks #modern #weight gain #stuffing

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enc95 · 7 months

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Spider was unsure what to do as the embers of the cook fire burned down. They didn't eat, just told stories and sang songs. Spider doesn't feel hungry in fact he is very full. A condition his body wasn't used to. He would miss meals coming back late. Anytime missed chow time his portion would be taken back. His foster father would save it but if his kids asked for food before Spider got back it would be eaten. Being at the village at first light ment missing breakfast. Lunch was usually foraged or if able Kiri would share with him.

Strong hands, pick him up. It was Tsu'tey. "Come child you sleep with us."

Being placed next to Slywanin she had taken his locks out playing with his curls. She rubs his back humming a song. He'd heard it before Neytiri would use it to send her own kids to sleep. It was nice here. "Can I stay here with you?"

Tsu'tey looked at his mate, she wanted a child so much. They talked about it in the early days of the courtship. She smiles at him. "Of course you can."

Mo'at stepped into the old hometree site in the morning in Ewyas time. Spider was shaping a stone, his smaller hands made him famous for the tightness of his weaving and ability to make intracunt patterns. When he saw her, she thought he would be happy to see her. His reaction was not happy, it was fear, he drops the leather running from the woman.

Spider knew the minute he saw Mo'at she wanted to take him back. He ran and he didn't want to leave. Slywanin was smoothing out a bead when Spider crashed into her. The boy is visibly upset. "She came for me please don't make me go. Please I like it here."

That's when Mo'at finds a Spider crying in her daughter's arms. Her soft voice gave him reassurances. "Shhh Penghrrap it's alright. I'm here."

Crying now fat tears the kind of outburst the boy never allowed himself to have. It was pointless outside but here he was free to show any emotions and his voice was high. "Please don't let her take me.

Slywanin looks to her mother. "You can't have him. Leave."

The words are said with the force of Eywa. Mo'at feels it in the mortal world too; it pushes her onto the ground. She found the boy easily enough but getting to come back would not be so easily done.

When she enters the Suli pod it's Kiri who asks first. "Did you find him?"

"I did."

They all hug in excited giggles. High fives and fours are thrown around. They didn't hear the hesitation in her voice. Jake did he stood looking at her then at the kids. Neteyam grabs his Dad's hand. "Come Dad, we have to go see him."

The two others agree. "Can we? It won't take long."

Neytiri moves to stop them but Mo'at speaks first. "Yes you should see him. Your mother will watch over you while you visit."

Her tone was clear: take them but don't go in yourself. Knowing Slywanin she would give her opinions all too well. Neytiri, who did feel the shame of what she's done, agrees. "We'll ride then Lo'ak with me Neteyam you can follow with Kiri."

They all hug Jake and their grandmother before racing down the tree. "Daughter, mind my words."

With her bow in hand Neytiri nods. "Watch the children."

When they are alone Jake sits by the fire offering her some food. "He doesn't want to come back does he?"

"No Jake Suli, he is very content there, the world and its people are not kind to him. Eywa is very angry about that."

That was true maybe because he passed into her or because his human body had been resewn into her ground. He felt it charge in the air like a storm about to start. One that would rage for days. "What can we do Norm says his body will only last a few days. After that he'll lose muscle tone and his brain will start to rot. The body needs a soul he said."

Recovered from his outburst, Spider was playing with a group of children when he fell into the soft grass. The kids fall with him, he asks. "Where were you adults when you passed into Eywa?"

The leader, a girl, shakes her head. "We died when the hometree fell."

He stands, his face red. Many times he heard his guardians say that his Dad killed kids. It was why humans were still kept at a distance. It was his father who even in death was making life difficult. "I'm sorry."

Lior the girl takes his arms not to harm to comfort. "It is alright we have family here."

"No it was my Father who killed you." He backs away, sure that now they won't play him now.

To his absolute shock they all hug him. "We don't blame you."

"You were just a baby." A boy says petting his head.

A small girl only four nods. "You're not your father and we like you."

His face turns up all his short life. He has been compared to his father the thought that he could be judged by just own actions was almost inconceivable. “Really?”

“Really.”

They lead him to the river where they all swing into the water. “Where are the grown-ups I thought there needed to be one here in case animals attack?”

The biggest boy pulls him off his feet laughing. “Hey I can walk you know little human now lets play.”

At the river Lior pulls him to a shallow pool. “This is a mirror pool we use to see loved ones on the other side. She waves her hand and it shows an elder who is smoothing out an arrow shaft. “That’s my grandfather.”

“Cool,” He holds his hand over the water. “Can I see Norm please.”

The pool shimmers to Norm was overjoyed to know he was right about Spider being with Eywa. “This is great is I means Grace was right that Pandora itself is alive. I have so many questions to ask when he gets back.” He turns to the body of Spider, the tubes giving him air and food. “What does Mo’at want how do we get his mind back?”

Jake grimaces. “Norm he…He’s not exactly on board with coming back yet.”

“What? Jake, have you told him that?”

“No.”

“Have you spoken with him at all?”

“No.” He was ten feet tall and was pasty Norm making me feel like a kid again. “I know his foster parents have been distant since their kids were born and Spider he feels left out.”

Of course this was the time that Nash entered the room holding a box. “Great your here.” The man pushes the box on Jake's knee. “Here’s the stuff he’s dagged in over the years.”

Jake looks at twsins the ones given to him by Neyetam when he outgrow them. Kiri and Mo’at had help refit them for Spider. There are also pretty rocks given to him over the years with bracelets and half smooth carvings. “Nash we’re getting him back.”

The man sighs. “Look Norm it was fine when it was just me and Mary but I have my own boys to think about now. I can’t have some wild child coming and going so when you do whatever voodoo you do that gets him back he can stay with you or Max or anyone but us.” He looks at Jake. “He’s practically your pet now I got a shack moved to the outskirts of the village. If you can get him back he can live there.”

"You already did this!" Jake was upset he could see that the reason was a mystery to Spider.

The image fades away as Spider backs against the tree. It wasn’t shocking that Nash was okay with him being hurt to see the man who had at one point cared about him just throw him away; it hurt a part of his soul. That's how the Suli kids find him; they crouch down beside him, Kiri hugging him.

Outside, Neytiri watches her children as they enter they were smiling, now a tear rolls down Kiri's cheek. That she can not bare so she against her mother's orders connects. Entering she see the children who passed all in a circle around. They knew her she was kind to them. Letting her pass into a inner circle she finds Spider crying with Kiri. Lo'ak and Neyetam are rubbing their backs saying it's okay.

Lo'ak looks up. "Mama?"

It be far Neytiri was horrified by the echoes of Nash's words whispering from the pool. She wasn't upset with Spider but life experience taught him that if Neytiri was upset he was the cause. The best course of action was to run away. So, that's what he did. He twists from Kiri hold. Looking ashamed for being unwanted he wipes his eyes "I'm sorry I'll go."

With those words a kick to the gut he runs into the forest. It gets her to fall to knees. The ghost children look at her with curious expressions. "He didn't do anything wrong. Why is he sorry?"

"Children please return to hometree." Slywanin says in a bright voice.

The group with her own children all leave at the command of the older woman. Once gone her bright voice and gentle aurora leaves with them. She sits before her sister, her voice cold like winter winds. "You did not see."

"Please, I must find him." Truly she needed to find him. He'd never cried in front of her. In that moment she saw him as a child, a tiny child not the man he would be or the monster who fathered him.

"No." The roots of Eywa bind her knees to the ground.

Graces theory which would be the subject of the next nine years of research. Would prove that Pandora was like a computer. A Na'vi when connected to it would upload all the memory. Eywa knew Spider now he was her child. She loves her children, all of them even the human ones. She knew the hurt that lived in his heart that she could not let go unpunished.

Standing Slywanin puts a hand on her shoulder. "You will see and feel him now. Then you leave and not return till Spider's choice is made."

Spider ran, he was good at running, and chasing Na'vi made him fast. He ran far into the forest so far that found a shack. It was two in fact, he crouched down like a hunter. One shack had a little garden with a fire pit with a pair of chairs. There must be two different people here. One shack had a pattern drawn on it. The other looked pristine with a wind chime at the door.

"Hey kid."

He turns grabbing a rock holding it up to throw. "Oh." It was a human woman he drops the rock. She was wearing a pilot's jacket. She had brown eyes, not his Mom but he knows her. She was a story Jake would tell stories before putting his kids to bed. He would stay to listen to them. "Trudy?"

"Yeah kid that's me."

She leads him to a neater trailer opening the door. "You're pretty far out."

He looks at his bare feet shamefully. "I got scared."

Inside she pours him a glass of Aloi juice. It was a human safe food that everyone said was strawberry-lemonade. "Your seven, your allowed to be scared. Nothing can hurt you here Miles."

His head tilts. "You know me?"

Her smile is a fond one. "I knew your Mom."

To say his eyes got big would be an understatement. There was longing blackness with a faint ring of warm chocolate. "You did?"

"Oh yeah. "

*************************************************

Jake was having a shity day, Norm was scrambling to find new guardians. Mo'at had said a storm would come that night and it would be bad, she said. He flew home giving orders to seal the tree only to find his mate and kids still gone. He found Neytiri at the tree curled into a ball. She was crying deep agony sobs like when her father died.

"Baby?"

Her eyes are far away. "Ma Jake." She threw herself into him, loneliness was heavy on her skin. "Jake it hurts."

Scanning her arms he doesn't smell blood. "What hurts."

"Spider…he has pain oh Jake it hurts." She covers her mouth. "I hurt him. He doesn't hold any hate for me yet he knows in his soul I hate him."

Jake sighs he can't say it's untrue he can't tell her they'll be able to fix this. Being a father and leader he's expected to have a plan or at least solutions to problems. Right now he's helpless with no clue how to get Spider back.

The winds shift. "We gotta go baby."

Wiping her eyes she nods to the kids. Whoever they are seeing must tell them the same as they return too. Kiri sees her Dad hugging him. "Spiders okay Daddy. "

Lo'ak looks at his Mom spitefully. "He said he's not coming back." The implied it's your fault hangs in the air.

Neteyam, seeing his mother is already hurt, tries in vain to calm her. "Grandfather said he still has time to officially decide."

Eywa's mercy falls on them as the moment the family is back at hometree the storm starts. Thunder booms as lightning cracks the sky. The rain falls hard pounding the trees. The winds whipping in the face of any Na'vi caught in it. They know why too. They had ignored a child who, not finding love with his own people, had found them. Some of them were kind but some were not. The kind ones had fire, the unkind ones had cold winds.

Jake's fire pit is flickering a dueling action. He and Neytiri had never accepted Spider. Yet his kids brought him into the sibling fold like he was truly a brother. The parents move to the other side of the pod. It's where they eat meaning it the winds blow in cold bringing the stinging raindrops with them. But the fire on the other side burns peacefully, warming the children content with each other.

"Would he accept us as parents?" Jake asks, trying to shield his wife from the rain.

"No. I have been cruel in my treatment of him." If there was a time when Spider could have been adopted into their family it was gone now. "He could be a village son." A child taken in raised by the whole clan. Tell him, he has a shack waiting."

Jake wants to think it will work but the way Neteyam spoke about the love Spider was being showered with by Tsu'tey and Sylwanin. It wasn't enough for him to live with the people. The great mother had given a mother and father. His ability to roam without a mask, it was paradise to him. "I'll talk to him."

#avatar #fanfic #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #atwow fanfiction #ao3 writer #ao3 #jake sully

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