#topic: insecurity

[tayfabe75]

"I have quite a bit of an ego because I am ambitious, but I have a big ego that's met with a very, very fragile sense of self. So, I don't have a lot of self-esteem, but then I use that to my benefit – like my fragility is part of who I am, so, I suppose to learn that was difficult."

September 2, 2016: Matty admits he has a bit of an ego. (source)

#year: 2016 #september 2016 #quote: matty healy #matty's character #topic: ego #topic: self-esteem #topic: insecurity #get to know them #source: juice online

[aromantic-diaries]

My favorite thing about running a somewhat popular aro (and often ace) blog is the assumptions that aphobes occasionally make about me as a person because they automatically projected some asexual strawman onto me as soon as they read my post. I hate to tell you but you know nothing about me

#off-topic #these people saw like two posts by a couple of mildly annoying asexuals from 2015 and based their perception of us on that #like fucking relax man you literally don't know me #blocking people who annoy you is free and legal and you can do it whenever you want to you insecure pissbrain

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Okay, but like

As someone who personally disliked the fandom characterization of Mangey as a child who is basically a wild animal

Which of course meant that (even though this standard was not applied to other equally feral boscage maze characters) if you even dared to have ships involving Mangey it was considered "beastiality"

Season 3 was so vindicating for me. Like as someone who always characterized him as selectively mute/largely nonverbal and with less palatable autism, it was so great to see the proof in the pudding that he is just as capable of being more than just the group dog thought like any other mobian and the hilarity of him being surprisingly adept with technology. Like god those few Sails/Mangey interactions were so so good

#Yes I believe S3 could have been better if it had more episodes but there is also still some GOLD there #Nothing like a single episode to make me committed to the possible relationship dynamic between Sails/Mangey (even though I already liked #the idea of shipping the variants together) #What's funny is that I've been considering doing a breakdown of why I think fandom unfairly characterized Mangey vs the others in the #Boscage Maze gang and why I personally characterize him the way I do #but instead I watched S3 and posted this instead😂 #Also on the point of topic I would have killed for more Tails variant interaction #When Sails and Nine saw each other at the end of season 2 the gears in my brain turned hard #And like are we not gonna mention Nine's 'there can only be one' in S3??? #Like the level of insecurity he's at where he just has to be the only one of him but also HOW HE LITERALLY MOVED TO KILL MANGEY AND SAILS #BECAUSE HE KNEW JUST HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT SONIC #You jealous identity crisis having fox you😂💖 #sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #mangey sonic prime #miles mangey prower #mangey the fox #sonic prime s3 #sonic prime season 3 #sonic prime s3 spoilers #sonic prime season 3 spoilers #i just be ramblin

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Sorry if someone's already made this poll I am just DYING to know if anyone else finds it hard to believe, as the show seems to expect us to do, that he entirely failed to notice both these things.

Speaking for myself, I can accept the possibility that Julian was clever enough to hide his enhancements from even a trained spy, especially given his decades of practice at it. But personally I just cannot believe Garak didn't at least suspect something was off when Julian got replaced.

#Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #garashir #Elim Garak #Julian Bashir #SOOOOOOO MANY THOUGHTS ON THIS TOPIC ALL WHIRLING AROUND IN MY BRAIN I NEED MORE OUTSIDE INPUT I NEED TO KNOW IF I'M GOING CRAZY OR NOT #also look everyone I made my very first poll :3 please clap #Starky's Original Posts #this post sounds confrontational but it's supposed to sound EXCITED because it's an EXCITING topic to me!!! I just can't talk sowwy #the thing that gets me about the changeling is that they show us that scene in Inferno's Light of him discussing darts with Miles #specifically to show us that its impersonation is not flawless!! there were signs!! #unless that was just supposed to signify that it was getting sloppier as it grew closer to its goal or w/e #anyways as far as fic goes I also love stories where the changeling specifically deals with Garak by either #1) drawing away from Garak making him think Julian just doesn't like him anymore; deliberately playing on an insecurity it can sense in him #OR WORSE #2) having sex with him to distract him from any inconsistent behavior; deliberately playing on a separate but related vulnerability #SO many evil possibilities given to us.................

[whentherewerebicycles]

i have a very stupid problem that is causing me a very stupid amount of distress. my aunts are planning my baby shower which will be in my home city (a place where none of my friends live). we are inviting a bunch of family and tbh it's solely so i can get stuff from my registry. i feel okay about that part because i've bought gifts for all the extended family baby showers and weddings over the years and it seems fine to be like 'ok now it's my turn i really need the help.' the part that is making me feel weird is that my aunts feel strongly that i should ALSO send invites to all of my out of town friends, including college and grad school friends, because those people might send me gifts too. i think that a lot of my friends WILL end up buying something from my registry or sending something (a lot of them have asked already!) and that's very nice of them!!! and i do think i might want to send a birth announcement or something later just as a "hey! a big thing happened in my life!" kinda thing. but i feel super uncomfortable sending out invites to an event i know they can't attend (and would never expect them to fly to a random city for!!) because then it just feels obvious that i'm asking for a gift instead, and that makes me feel bad!!! but also idk my brother and SIL just had a MASSIVE shower where like 50+ of their friends came (because they went to college in our hometown and all their friends still live there) and my cousin just had a big shower too (she lives and works in our hometown) so i also just feel dumb for like. having a very small kinda lame shower where my extended family is gonna be like oh... does she not have any friends?

#why am i on the verge of TEARS about this #it's so dumb #yet another one of these weird intensely gendered rites of passage or whatever #but also it's bringing up all these weird feelings around single parenting for whatever reason #like i feel like my extended family is going to be politely tiptoeing around the fact that i'm not partnered #and then i think i just feel insecure because part of me wants to be like but LOOK i have all these friends who i love and who love me #so i'm not like UNLOVABLE #but that is dumb why do i even care what they think #or what i am imagining they think #well maybe this is the topic to tackle in therapy el oh el #i just had a furious crying jag about it #i think i'm just going to tell them like #this will be a family only shower #and i'll send a birth announcement to my friends later

[beetlevsboy]

I want to preface this post by saying that I love the cat king as a character, especially one that has such a major impact on Edwin and his relationship with his queerness and learning to be okay with it; HOWEVER, I also believe that everyone that genuinely believes he should be a love interest for Edwin should read this. (Also if you just like the cat king as a character and want to understand his character better and why his and Edwin’s relationship is not something that would be healthy or “real” for either)

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the cat king #i do not ship them but I don’t want to hate on those who do (mostly) I just want to kind of inform people of the creators meaning for their #Relationship because I keep seeing people saying they hope they get together in s2 and it’s really confusing to me #Their relationship stems from the cat kings own narcissism and predatory behavior and Edwin’s need for someone to push him into under #Standing that his queerness doesn’t have to be torture and can be something giddy #even if he doesn’t return those feelings #The cat king does like Edwin but he doesn’t know anything about him. He likes the game and then he likes the kindness he’s shown despite #Knowing the cruelty he’s presented to Edwin #Queerness and preformance always go hand in hand #He’s a older secretly insecure character #Edwin is the younger #genuinely kind character that shows him that projecting his hurt will never get him what he wants #It’s about the isolation of queerness and the walls put up and the coping mechanism used to protect yourself even at the risk of hurting #Those just like you. That kiss from edwin was to say “I’m sorry your loneliness had caused you to be cruel. It’s the easiest way to feel. #And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need #you deserve to feel happy and not like you have to gain the attention of uninterested people #I can’t even explain all my thoughts about their dynamic it’s just so much it’s just about the predadation from older queers because of #The trauma they’ve endured and the cycle of hurt and the way we can break the cycle with kindness while also protecting our youths by #Healing those traumas #Something the cat king learns and accepts #Off topic but I don’t like people defending their age gap because #Yes; Edwin is 86 #but he died with a teenage boy brain and then spent 70 of those years in hell where he certainly was not getting his brain developed while #The cat king has possibly hundreds of years of sentience and experience. The power imbalance is not if y’all. And that part of their dynami #Is actually very clear I think but some people didn’t catch it?? Or didn’t care??? Idk man

[yuridovewing]

As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).

Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).

Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)

dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)

i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick

(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)

#it does also feel so insidious to me just how long the bramblesquirrel conflict was painted as ''equally kind of wrong'' #the ppl who put words in squilfs mouth sometimes which. btw ill get to that when i read the book #and tbf part of it is that sometimes abuse isnt as easy to spot if youre primed to the mainstream version of it #like. bramble isnt a born evil wifebeater everyone can see coming from a mile away. hes a complex guy with his own insecurities #and his own goals and people he openly cares about. and even in some fanon stuff i see ppl kinda erase that part of him #(which i wont pretend im above- ive been trying to walk that line myself) #and that doesnt match how abusers are usually percieved by the public. or in this very series. #like. the main excuse for clear sky is literally ''hes sad his sister died and tried to save her! no one changes THAT much'' #anyone can be an abuser. you could be an abuser. i could be an abuser. that doesnt mean that we ARE but we are capable of it #and the thing that catches ppl off guard is that abusers are really good at hiding who they are and theyre often charming #i often hear this account of abuse that goes something like ''my parent abused me but no one believed me bc theyre nice in public'' #you dont know whats going on behind closed doors. and ik this is about funny kitties at the end of the day but its quite telling #so... yeah bramble has his nice moments. hes got his GREAT moments even. i love his relationship with his mom for example #but those moments dont mean that hes not capable of being worse. of being a monster to his loved ones #its why squilf keeps getting sucked back in. hes not a one dimensional asshole. hes capable of being kind to her. #and thats what makes his disgusting moments hit so much harder #wow ok i got off topic in the tags but yknow. idk i got feelings abt this matter as someone who's experienced toxic relationships

[fellhellion]

apologies for yosukeposting and especially incoherently but slowboiling in my brain whatever the hell was going on w him in kanji’s dungeon. guy who slingshots between some kinda fraught observation that this is so much worse for kanji because it’s happening in front of an audience (over like. freaking out about it), furiously asserting that he’s heterosexual, insinuating danger but then also being the one who volunteers to take kanji home afterwards.

It’s sooooooooooooooo.

#I’m naurt. #conveying it well. #but there’s some kinda something about which elements prickle his unease #exposure to the wider community #the topic of sexuality that falls outside of what is normative being introduced AT ALL #but he’s. not scared of kanji. he never has been tbh #I don’t think he would volunteered to take him home and essentially make sure he got there safely if he was #imo it’s more that like. kanji doesn’t reject the shadow’s assertions where yosuke would #and there isn’t a world in his sixteen (?) year old brain where you SHOULDNT do that lmao #if you’re a guy you like girls and you don’t get hugged when you’re sobbing your heart out etc etc #a guy’s a guy and when that doesn’t mean what he thinks it has to mean anymore that’s deeply uncomfortable for him to unpack #it brings to the forefront his own doubts and insecurities #and kanji accepts that in himself where Yosuke can’t I don’t think #doesn’t question a lot of time and builds his identity around it #but he can’t erase the questions people like kanji and naoto raise because like. it’s intimately relevant to HIM lmao #and it’s how he understands a core part of himself #even if that’s built on sand #congrats! you’ve discovered the patriarchal and heteronormative hegemony! #tunes talks persona #I think it goes largely unspoken and deliberately avoided with him but what kanji wrestles w in regards to conciling his sense of identity #to wider society is like. that’s him too lmao

[wyldblunt]

seeing as there's no twitter in tyria i think that (aside from unauthorized romance novels) stuff like this is mostly happening on, like, pact camp bulletin boards

#my ocs #marina ocs #my art #sylvari #glyndwr #alan #canach #oops i was just reminded that he actually canonically likes that poster enough to put enormous blown up copies of it up #oh well. he is being passive aggressive. insecure king flex #barely on topic but my wife and i regularly look at each other out of the blue and bring up the fact that there's a spot in southsun named- #-'Canach's Folly.' do you think he knows. do you think he is constantly simmering about it

[cuppajj]

wdym i cant change primary blogs

#i kinda wish i could follow from cuppanova now because i see it as being my general art blog while cuppajj stays tf #on the topic of this blog i was initially thinking i'd rb art from nova for the first few weeks for traction but now i might just do it #everytime i post? more followers on jj so it could lead to more traction possibly #nova can just exclude the robot stuff #cjj sayeth #i shouldnt feel so insecure about rbing my original ocs on here!! its my sleepover so i choose the movie!! unfollow if u want lmao

[beans-and-shet]

An unwelcome reflection

#masaya aoyama #tmm deep blue #tokyo mew mew #my dumb art #the caption is both literal and figurative #love me some inner struggle #re-turn very briefly touched on the topic of masaya’s insecurity about his powers/origins #but damn there could be a whole big-ass character arc revolving around this #*cries* #Tokyo mew mew had good building blocks for a long-running sequel series #just the alien lore in general they could have delved so much deeper into that

[mwahkazu]

the urge to delete all this shit and do it myself🧍‍♀️

#✿ ノ yuomi’s musings #youmi’s daily ramble of college struggles #i hate group projects sm… #like why tf are you writing about housing insecurity when the focus of out topic is about how parents struggle to obtain resources😃 #i already redid the entire intro cause wtf was that #sigh whatever i’ll just do the other part😭

[aromantic-diaries]

Sometimes I think about how the queer people who were hostile towards me were all randos on the internet and anyone who was ever weird about me being aroace has been cishet for all I know, meanwhile the handful of queer allos I've met were completely fucking chill. Sure there's probably luck in that but I think anyone who's gotten themselves to type anonymous hate messages into my inbox has to get a fucking hobby

#off-topic #motherfucker take some time to reflect on yourself and figure out why you're so goddamn insecure

[bloobydabloob]

Is there a reason ur drawings kinda look like someone stretched them in some direction. Not in a mean way. It's very silly imo /pos

Thank you, I’m glad you like it. I take inspiration from artists like @tostyart (twt) @robert_valley (insta) jasonlupas (twt) and several other artists, who do the same thing. I think it looks great. There’s no deeper reason sadly… just think it looks cool.

#third ask in a row about the skew. Hahaha #I get why some people might not like it #I love it though. I think it’s sooo sick #I deleted yesterday’s ask because I didn’t want to clog my page with asks but I’ll reiterate #I don’t think that imperfect art should be fixed or corrected #I struggle more specifically with rigidity in my art #I have a tendency to overwork the shapes in my art to the point where it’s just… stiff as hell #So I think also the skew helps disguise that a little. Maybe I’m a cheater #But anyways #I really like skewiff or quote unquote wonky looking art. #I love art and I love beginner artists and I love shakey lines and imperfections #I think it’s soo awesome. #I dig all art to be honest. Really honestly I just like art. I’m rambling here haha #but no… Some of the people listed get insecure about the asymmetry or whatever in their art. #I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of their art as long as they are doing something they enjoy and improving #without wonky art and without weird looking stuff #we wouldn’t improve. That’s what really sucks #But I guess that’s not why I do it. I wish I could do the skew on accident dude. #Please check out @tostyart by the way #genuinely probably one of my favorite artists of all time #I think you will enjoy their stuff. It’s so different to everything else and their characters are wonderful #they have such wonderful line work and are so great at working with composition and perspective. #Everything I aspire to be #Sorry for tag rambling. I did this exact thing yesterday too #don’t give me the opportunity to talk about art. I’ll never shut up. #still not on topic though #TLDR : I think it looks cool

[faunandfloraas]

inadvertently stopped using my freckle fade cream without thinking.... right around the time i started making gifs of felix.... coincidence?

#positive influence..... #i do wonder sometimes how jarring it must have been for he and lil chris to go from australia to korea #bc i copped shit for being pale and freckly as a kid #i have a core memory of this girl talia wearing a country bumpkin costume with these cartoonish freckles drawn on and she pointed at me #and was like Lol im jessie haha and i was like Okay so you want to fight?? #another time had to do some speech and when i finished and had questions from my classmates and two boys just asked me why i was pale #and why they could see idk i guess my bloodvessels in my legs ??? i didnt even notice like i was just like UHHHH idk ask about my topic #had so many instances like that and they werent terrible but it did make me insecure #like in the 00s here being tan was /it/ you had to be nice and tanned- go lay in the sun and ignore we are number one in melanoma deaths #like it was so consistently the thing... prob why i have so many freckles bc i didnt tan in the sun i freckled #but in both felix and chans aus photos they were quite tanned! #so imagine going from Hey go lay in the sun and get nice and brown ya pale fucker to Do Not Do That. Be pale as a ghost #white as fuck twilight vampire printer paper ass complexion or else you arent the beauty standard must have been so...... odd #idk beauty standards are so fucked and stupid #at least for me it was just like mean it wasnt like systemic. still wasnt nice but its not damaging the same way #but yeah I imagine some of the cultural differences must have been jarring and weird #like when chan said he was glad to get sex ed in australia bc it was comprehensive here and its not something i would have thought about #but yeah he went to school here and there he would know #idk must be hard to be an idol and straddle that line of not wanting to cause any ripples but having your own ideas and beliefs #oh i'd love to talk to him off the record lmao #dont take this as anti korea sentiment btw like australia is also wack #it just must be interseting and sometimes hard... #wow these tags are long SORRY

[wickedhawtwexler]

the eventbrite page for my violin teacher's show says dress like it's 2008 so naturally i am going all out. zebra print skirt i actually wore in middle school. black paramore shirt with a skeleton on it. black nail polish. i feel So Alive

#i felt way too insecure to dress weird at 12 years old lmao. but i wanted to dress emo soooo badly #i had some emo touches. hot topic graphic tees. a few hoodies with skulls on them. but i never went all out #tonight is for you baby morgan xoxo <3 #none of the other attendees from our violin studio are going to dress up. i'm betting money on it lmao #the teacher of mine who's performing is definitely going to be dressed up tho. she's so unabashedly weird (affectionate) #m.txt