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clemscabin · 4 months

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Dom!Abby x Reader : Abby eats you out until you cum …

warnings: Slight Sadomasochism, forced stimulation, degredation, Hate-sex, fingering

*disclaimer* this is like the third smut fic ive ever wrote so erm it might be a little bad! anyway if you want to skip directly to the porn look for the ‘‼️‼️‼️’ ! leave suggestions and enjoy

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It was the brisk morning of april 12th. You were walking alone in the mountains of what used to be the quiet, dainty town of los osos, California. You were on the road for 3 weeks, travelling from seattle to the coast. Trying to find the people who the WLF had made some sort of weird deal with. it wasnt easy, you were supposed to be traveling with someone, but you felt like you didnt need her. you could handle a mission on your own, right?

what irked you more was that your almost-was partner was your competitor. Abby Anderson. she’d been nice to you, she considered you two to be close, but youd eventually had grown jealous of her. her physique, her skillful way of getting the job done, her attractiveness.. yet still, even in your jealousy, something made you wish you could…was it be like her? be with her? be friends with her? honestly you didnt know and you could care less. she was the least of your problems.the leaves crunched underneath your boots, but then suddenly you heard a noise which made you stop dead in your tracks. “What the fuck made that noise?” you thought to yourself, slightly intimidated. You turned around to see a tall woman with a bulky figure and a leather coat, staring back down at you. you jumped back, not expecting someone to be behind you, but a wave of relief washed over you as you realized it was just Abby.

“Suprise”, said a low voice. “What the fuck Abby you scared me half to death?” “Sorry bout’ that , i didnt mean ta’ scare you.” she said with a laugh. “Whatever lets just get this shit over with.” you huffed. you hated her, hated the way she followed you, hated her smile, hated the way she stood behind you like some kind of bodygaurd. she practically towered over you. you needed to get it out of your system, you needed to desperately. you wanted to fuck her, but not nescesarily in a loving way, you wanted it to hurt. deep down you knew it was wrong to feel that way, she just made you angry. shed always been loyal and kind, maybe thats the reason you were still somehow drawn to her.

You walked with her for ages, talking about all sorts of things, from the mission, to your love life, until you stumbled upon a few houses just around the top of the mountains. “Its getting kinda late, why dont we stay here? just for tonight, well be back on the road by morning.” Abby asked, her Greenish-blue eyes looking you up and down, before meeting her eyes with yours and smiling gently. “Yeah sure..whatever..” You replied, desperately trying to ignore the cocky smile on her face.

Abby knew something was wrong. she couldnt quite figure out what it was? was it because she came anyway? Nah, she knew youd eventually need her. you both stepped inside one of the houses, making sure it was clear for the night. inside there was a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. kinda wimpy for a house but nonetheless it was better than nothing. You sat on the couch while abby took off her bulky jacket, revealing a almost see through white tank top. it flattered her muscular body perfectly. You felt your cheeks heat up, and started squirming, trying to adjust yourself without her noticing. But of course she noticed.

‼️‼️‼️

“Whats wrong, sweetheart…” she said calmly. “are you tired…? or do you just want sm’more?” she giggled. You tried to laugh it off but she sat next to you, grabbing on your thighs subconsciously, which just made you feel horny. You let out a sigh, thinking to yourself if you were really about to let her fuck you as if you were some sort of prostitute. yeah you totally were. A shiver ran down your spine as her cold hands traced over your thighs, your body yearned for her touch. “Lets make this quick, what do you say princess.?” She said in a low, raspy voice. You didnt wanna wait anymore, eagerly ripping your clothes off. itd been way too long since youd been touched, and maybe a hate fuck was what you needed?

She parted your thighs, removing your underwear which exposed your throbbing cunt. She could practically smell your exitement. Taking one finger and in one swoop, grazing over your heat. you Gasped, looking down at Abby, who just as you made eye contact buried her face into your sopping wet pussy. Her skilled tounge Lapping ferociously at your clit, Brought you close in a matter of seconds. just as you were about to finish she pulled away, a string of spit connecting the two to eachother. “Whyd you stop?” She glared up at you. “Stop fucking squiriming, Slut.” She grappled at your thighs holding them still, and immediately went back to eating you out. You felt tears well up in your eyes, you grabbed her hair, shoving her face even deeper, and grinding on her , desperate for any friction you could get. Her muffled grunts becoming more intense and focused as she inserted 2 fingers inside of your aching hole. “ahah..a-bby..” was all you managed to get out. you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly, Bucking your hips up, crying out for her to keep going. “Hnh…f-faster…a-ab-by..m’gonna cum…”

She looked up for a moment at the mess she was able to create, huffing under her breath, “fucking whore. cant get enough.” and diving back down, her tounge swirling on your sensitive bud. Your high hit you like a ton of bricks, and you came all over her face, exhausted. but she didnt stop, she kept going, forcing you to take the rest of her rough licking, riding out your orgasm. when she finally stopped she made eye contact with you and licked your juices off her fingers, and kissing you, forcing you to taste yourself. “good job princess… you did so well.” She planted a kiss on your neck before giving you her jacket, and cleaning up the mess you had made. you laid on top of her, and found yourself secure in the knowledge shed be there when you awoke.

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A/N

i want to ride abbys face

This was pretty fun to write, leave some ideas or tips pretty please🙏🏽🙏🏽

#abby anderson #the last of us #abby tlou #smut #the last of us fanfiction #abby the last of us #abby anderson smut #hate sex

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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months

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Could I ask for platonic headcanons (tads) for Caine, Jax, Kinger(and someone else) for a reader who does not English.

Thanks you!

caine, jax, and kinger x reader who doesnt speak english!

wasnt totally sure if you meant didnt know any english or wasnt fluent so i had it as like, in between! hope thats alright!

CAINE:

youre in luck! i think caine would be programmed to know at least a couple languages, mostly the most common ones! so really there wouldnt be much of a language barrier since caine can likely easily breach that! on the off chance that you speak a language he wasnt programmed to understand, i think he would still make an effort to try to learn! no thoughts, only the two of you sitting down together slowly understanding one another more and more as the weeks pass by (will revisit this idea later with kinger!)

JAX:

i think he would be at least a little impatient (although i dont think thats the right wording, hes kind of just mean to everyone and you wont be an exception until you guys build something together, you know?), but ultimately enough interest builds for him to try to build some kind of system to breach that language barrier; be it the two of you sitting down and trying to teach each other or reading one anothers body language and moods

KINGER:

hoping over to kinger, i think if you two were to develop a friendship in some way, he would start picking up on some of the words you speak! he may not know exactly what they mean, or if hes way far off, but i think its the thought that counts!

bonus;

imagine, if you want this to be romantic, you earn the courage to call them an endearing name in your language.. can go one of two ways, either it flies over their heads and you're free to keep building yourself up and eventually properly confess to them.. OR they do understand you and proceed to (lightheartedly) tease you for it (except kinger, i dont think kinger would be a teaser)

double bonus;

same idea as the above but instead its them trying out the nickname on you in your language and they just pray to god that they said the right thing... can escpecially see this with kinger, him going up to you and fiddling around before gaining the courage

i hope this was alright! i didnt wanna leave you hanging, although i gotta admit i was a little stumped on how to go about this idea </3 but at least it gave me a chance to talk about one of my favorite dynamics; where two characters dont really share a common language and/or one of them doesnt speak but they both still have this mutual understanding of one another

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader

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bigassmoth · 5 months

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Sesshomaru x cis woman reader r18, 3rd person pov. It must have been a trait from their father because like Inuyasha, Sesshomaru loves a woman who will fight him.

((Minor spit kink, implied kinkimess down the road, dryhumping))

"If there is nothing else, this meeting will come to a close." Sesshomaru spoke to a table of government officials who bowed their heads in respect. Quaint little meetings like this to discuss governmental affairs were a necessary part of running his father territory. A responsibility Sesshomaru shouldered with grace and-

"My lord, may I raise a concern?" One of the women present speaks, her eyes still lowered as is customary. Sesshomaru lets out a hum and then nods.

"This one permits you to speak." He sips his tea as she begins.

"The irrigation testing zone in the east citadel has shown promising results. If possible, we should move forward and expand waterways across major cities." Delicately she asks for money. Sesshomaru scoffs into his cup and settles a poisonous gaze on the woman-only being able to glare at the crown of her still bowed head.

"What for? The cities soldiers are primarily at the palace anyway."

"We should implement aquaducts in the palace as well. But the city is a more pressing concern because of civilian population density." She smoothly parried him. Sesshomaru decided he would take this moment to put a brazen scholar in their place, lest everyone starts to believe he has grown soft.

"Ah yes. The civilians. For what reason would peasants need water for anyway? Certainly not for washing." He begins his teardown of her with an insulting jab- recognizing her to be a commoner by her uniform. She freezes, Sesshomaru decides to inflict the finishing blow, "You would expect funds for your silly water project? My territory has real issues. We are under constant threat of war. Dont bring such frivolous things to me again." His tone is crisp and ladden with demonic energy. Many humans and demons alike at the meeting table tremble.

Out of her mouth comes a stilted "ah-" and she looks up. Their eyes meet. Her expression is of astonishing disgust and disappointment. Sesshomaru is briefly glad that everyone else is busy staring holes into their laps. If another saw the expression she was making then it would look like he said something-

"Stupid." She mumbles. A crow demon next to her puffs up anxiously and gives her arm a warning squeeze-begging her to shut up.

"What?" Sesshomaru doesnt mean to but he is making the air crackle.

"That is so stupid." Her face adorns a sneer and she fulls sits up so she can square her shoulders and stare brazenly at Sesshomaru.

"How dare y-"

"What do you think the water is for? Do you think people choose to be covered in shit? Are you fucking stupid? More of your soldiers die of dysentery and disease than battle wounds- which clean water helps prevent. And you dont aquaducts connecting your own palace? Do you know what it even is? You already use water transportation systems, they are just outdated and inefficient. Why are we reporting our findings to you if you dont even know what we are talking about? I should just take the money and do whatever I want with it, I doubt you would notice missing funds as long as no one reports it to you. You rich idiot nepobaby cuntfaced-"

"ENOUGH." Sesshomaru roars, his eyes fully red. He stands from the table with a throaty growl. "EVERYONE, OUT."

Everyone begins to scurry, as if knowing she wasnt included in that 'everyone', the offending woman stays seated. She stares straight ahead, cheeks flushed and hands trembling with adrenaline. After all this time of admiring Lord Sesshomaru for being more that a raging warlord, she was about to meet her end by his very teeth. She worked hard to get to where she was, its unfortunate she couldnt do more but at least she went out with a bang. Hopefully the scribes record it faithfully-

"You." Sesshomarus voice is a hiss as he stands over her. She looks up at him- or begins to. But she instead does a double take- eyes flitting from his prominent erection to his bright red eyes and then back again.

"Uh..." well this killed her heroic troublemaker spirit. Its much weirder to be killed by someone who has a hard on.

"What did you call this Sesshomaru?"

"Stupid." She answers him as evenly as she can, finally tearing her eyes away from his bulge to stare at his dangerous 'ripping bowels out of torsos' face.

He growls and abruptly lowers himself onto her. His knees place themselves on either side of her hips, she leans backwards but one of his hands grabs her face and the other braces his body on the floor.

"You...you..." he is panting, drool forming under his tongue. Her knees are bent so she could sit on her ankles-but Sesshomaru fully pushes her down onto the ground. Her legs shift, extending so they wouldnt be pinned under her and hyper extend her poor meniscus. Her wiggling makes Sesshomaru groan and he closes the gap between them in a desperate kiss. It is disgustingly sloppy, as soon as their lips connect he is using his hand to coax her mouth open so his tongue can slip inside. She lets out a noise, surprised and confused. His hips move against hers and her doubts move away for lust. Despite the constant growling from his chest and the spit-laden way he kissed her, Sesshomarus touch was careful. Like he was handling porcelain and washi paper he slid a hand into her kimono and began to trace her curves.

For her part the woman held the front of his kimono in one hand and moved her legs on either side of his so that his now insistent grinding was directly to her core. Sesshomaru purred into her mouth, pulling away with a loud slurp as he swallowed her spit.

"You are a bold woman. Too bold, death must be nipping at your heels." His words were threatening but his tone was fond as he pressed his wet lips to her throat.

"I am very confused." She panted out but still raised an arm to stroke his back.

"Your foolish words...roused this one" Sesshomaru whispered in her ear while loosening her kimono. "You have weak fangs and claws so you attacked us with your wit." He frees his penis and rests its underside in her folds and begins to rock his hips again. "It was like you had personally reached over and grabbed this Sesshomaru's cock."

She gulps, his balls hit her lower lips and taint as his hips loved. The veiny belly of his cock slid over her entrance and clit. His tip was leaking precum onto her stomach and pubic mound.

"A temptress, or perhaps a practiced witch? How else could you cloud this one with lust?" He nips at the skin of her neck, not drawing any blood but still thoroughly slobbering on her.

"Honestly?" She keens out, thighs tense as she matches his humping.

"Yes, you will divulge your methods to this one." His fingers delicately pinch her nipples.

"I think you're just a pervert." She answers plainly. Sesshomaru shudders and groans loudly, leaning forward so that his forehead rests on floor. His fingers on her nipples tighten. His hips roll hard into hers and then still. He cums on her stomach, gasping and gulping.

She holds onto him now, and experimentally rolls her hips against his member as it finishes spilling cum. Sesshomaru groans through gritted teeth, he doesnt remember the last time he orgasmed so hard. And before his bed partner, no less.

"You will perform once more for this one. You will make this ones cock hard and this one will properly resolve our desires." He growls in her ear.

"I told you my lord there is no performance, you just enjoy....unique dialog." Her diplomatic brain is returning to her although she continues to move her hips. Sesshomarus fingers begin to move again, apologetic in their now gentle caressing of her nipples and areola.

"You will not dare speak to this one as a tantrum throwing pup." Is he pouting? She thinks he is pouting. Her hands hesitantly touch his hair- beautiful and silky. If she had this kind of hair she would never let anyone touch it.

"My lord I believe you hold some perversions. That you find excitement in being treated as a degenerate among other things."

His cock twitches.

"What other things?" His voice is low and hoarse. She swallows and he presses a kiss behind her ear.

"Hm...such as, just perhaps, as some other people enjoy these things although my lord may n-"

"Speak." He urges with a husky whisper as he begins to lick inside her ear. She yelps and squirms in his hold as the sudden loud and wet intrusion. He persists while she stutters.

"Being denied service. Being stepped on-" his hand leaves her chest to go between her thighs. The pad of his thumb gently rubs circles into her clit. She moans as she continues, "Being forced to serve another. Sat on for anothers pleasure. Treated like an animal in heat-"

The head of his once again hardened cock presses against her entrance. Sesshomaru pulls himself out of her tight embrace to look at her fully. His markings are still present, although his eyes have returned to their usual gold. He has a wild, curious, competitive spark in his expression. His hands hold her hips, his mouth hangs open. He looks at her and she looks at him.

"Shall this one begin?" He asks, his still leaking head pressed at her opening.

"What? Im surprised you are asking, my lord. Thank you, I thought you would just..." her implication is that he would be so lost in the throes of pleasure that like a beast he wouldnt be able to control his own impulses. Understanding this unspoken message, Sesshomaru feels his balls tighten.

"But I cannot. I need further prep or else it will hurt." She is achingly horny but also very aware of her responsibilities tomorrow. She didnt work her ass off just to take a raincheck because she got railed too hard by an inu warlord.

Sesshomaru blinks and then frowns. "You deny the gifts of this ones embrace?"

"Not at all my lord. But tomorrow I must survey the Kinoshi district."

"You would rather perform menial labor than bed with this lord?" He is growing more and more agitated. She groans. Clearly sex-addled Sesshomaru is even more of a hardhead than regular Sesshomaru.

"No. What I am saying, my lord, is that I wont be able to go about my business tomorrow because an evening in your bed would put me out of commission."

His ears perk up at that. His false-placid frown becomes a self-satisfied smirk.

"Ah. This Sesshomaru understands. It is a valid concern, once this one finds you in our bed, we will act without abandon." Talking like this makes him even more excited. Open coupling had been business, he aimed to relieve himself with grace and poise. But with her, he felt free to mutter all manner of filth he had kept to himself.

"Then we are in agreement. Would I be able to help you get presentable, my lord?"

He considers it and moves off of her, standing up with his cock still shamelessly erect and exposed.

"Hm yes, it has been some time. This one permits you to fix our clothing. And..." he is looking at her body with opaque lust. "Denial of service, you said? Hm, yes. This one will experience it now."

She has also stood up and quickly fixed her kimono to hide her perked chest and the now cool cum on her stomach. Sesshomaru lets out a shaky sigh and licks the corner of his mouth. She presses her sleeve to his chin and begins wiping the spit off of his own face.

"Funding will be granted, and in gratitude you are permitted to relieve this one."

Sesshomaru breaths out as she tucks his still hard cock into his kimono- her hands careful to avoid touching his hot and wet skin.

"This one shall be kept aching for you. As an unsated beast, this Sesshomaru will have no choice but to rut our bedroll." He whispers to her and she looks up at him- cheeks flushed and eyes holding the same challenging glint that started this whole affair. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"It sounds like you will be in dire need of my assistance, my lord. I will aid you soon."

He cant bring himself to speak back to her, so he instead nods solemnly and stands still while she pretties him up. Back to his usual stoic self, Sesshomaru leaves first- suddenly eager to occupy himself with work.

When he is asked about you later he gives small single word responses, his demeanor icy and snappish. Although his mokomoko wags whenever he hears your name.

#sesshomaru #sesshomaru x reader #sesshomaru smut

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pluralcultureis · 7 months

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Dose anyone else ever get into that kinda floaty dissociation space when their alone in front were your memories of your system and evidence for it kinda just...calmy and slowly disappear into the background and fizzle away, not in a panicked or angry "IM FAKING ALL OF THIS" way but just...their gone, you cant recall any memory of your system really and you quietly ease into the idea, almost like a mother childing her kid, that youve just been overexaggerating and it must be something far more mundane. Yeah my amnesia is bad but I just have autism and autistics have a hard time with memory in the same way. And yeah I have witnesses to switches and mountains of other examples but...their just so hard to remember that you must be remembering them wrong. Bonus points if your NOT alone and you and the other person convince yourselves/each other that your both just each others own thoughts. Or is that just a me thing? Cause i hate it more then when im panicky and scared im faking, at least then i can remember things and rationalize. Dissociation and amnesia are just mean and if this DID community wasnt here I would for sure still be convincing myself to ignore my system to this day because of how like EASY it is. I feel like its not talked about how much work you need to put in to actively fight your brains natural want to hide itself from you even years after your system coming out to itself and living plurally.

I've had this a lot, it really sucks

But what I've found is a lot of times, the brain doesn't want you to know about the system. So even after it's passed the point of return with discovery, it sometimes tries to just take it back

It fails most the time, cuz once you're aware of it it's very hard to forget, but sometimes the brain still tries

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is

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socialist-microwave-laser · 5 days

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hi!! i hope this isnt too invasive, but im just curious, as someone who has converted to judaism would you view religion/judaism as a choice?

the reason im asking is that i studied theology in college and it was something we discussed within the class, whether religion was a choice or something inherent within a person, but my entire class were either muslims from muslim families or atheists, so a lot of the perspectives were that it wasnt a choice (ie "im atheist because i dont believe in god, but i wish i could be religious, so it isnt a choice" or "im religious because i do inherently believe in god, and for that reason i couldnt choose atheism") so id be curious to hear your take! no pressure of course if its an invasive question or likely to cause disagreements

oh no worries at all! i think honestly part of the problem here is the definition of judaism as a religion lmao. it's an ethnoreligion with a unique approach to history (it's currently pesach, and we are commanded to feel as though we personally were brought out of egypt. we re-enact the exodus, every year not having enough time for our bread to leaven. highly recommend reading yerushalmi's "zachor" if you're interested in how judaism interacts with time). basically, joining judaism is WAY different than joining any other religion (afaik). you literally have a new ethnicity, jewish

so talking about this from the other side, there are a bunch of atheist jews, and my rabbi told me i'm not even really required to believe in gd in order to convert to judaism, and on the other hand i can believe in the existence of other gods! i'm just not allowed to worship them. so there are some religious jews, there are atheist jews, there are agnostic jews, buddhist jews, witchy jews, and so many other kinds!

to me, this gets to my understanding of religion as a culture. the measurable parts of a religion are common practices, common objects, common texts, common important days, either common answers to a question or common frameworks or common questions or whatever else. religion to me seems like a framework through which we can channel our feelings about the world, and which we can use to understand/interact with the world around us. in a sense, culture is the same. growing up in kentucky has given me the common practice of corn mazes in the fall, the common object of horseshoes as symbols of luck, the common texts of shakespeare and poe, the common important days of the derby and oaks, the frameworks of thinking in terms of a two party system and having a hesitancy about going to a Big City™️. i can't change the fact that i grew up in kentucky, and i can choose to adopt new practices and habits and even to move to a different place, but it's harder to unlearn some of the stuff ingrained in me, and even if i do move, that doesn't mean i get rid of my memories and feelings about kentucky. it's the same with religion. i can't change the fact that i grew up in a christian household, was told to mourn in a christian way, and have lived in the bible belt all my life. even converting to judaism, i still have good memories about christmas and easter, and i'm still expected to go home for christmas

aside from this, honestly i wouldn't even say my beliefs have changed very much from christianity to wicca-flavored witchcraft to judaism. i still have a Wow This Is Big feeling when i'm hiking in the appalachias or singing in a big group of people, i still fundamentally love humanity and think human collaboration is powerful and beautiful, i still try my best to live my life according to my set of morals (which honestly have changed more due to my queerness than my religious affiliation). i feel like, at least partially, my religious exploration has been more of finding what framework best fits with what i believe and what i deem important to me. so i suppose in that way, i'd say beliefs aren't a choice but religion is

but what about the beliefs in my life that have changed according to some intentional impulse on my part, like that trans people are weird or the belief that statism is the best way to organize a population? i deconstructed and unlearned that, a practice that was definitely not by accident, but it also wasn't as easy as flipping a switch and going "i don't have any transphobic thoughts anymore." i think as easy and tempting as it is to say that hatred and bigotry is a choice, i don't think i agree. it's a choice whether or not to be an asshole to someone. but even still, the framework of who you should care about if you've been an asshole to may be something more inherited

i honestly could keep going, but i've already written enough. i'll go with this: for many people, their religion is what they grew up knowing. however, i would argue that most people have enough access to information about other frameworks that they probably made some sort of decision to continue on the path they were already on (those who are staying within a certain religion because of force are not who i'm talking about here). so in that way, religion is a choice. however, i do not think that religion and belief are necessarily the same thing. i think beliefs are more fundamental and that religion is what allows us to put those indescribable gut feelings into words. i think beliefs are changeable, and that one can choose to put in the work to change a belief, but i think it is much harder for me to classify beliefs as 100% a choice as well

bc i just love studying talmud so much, i'm going to complicate your question even more by moving us out of the realm of personal decisions. i think it's interesting to note that my being jewish technically won't be my decision. when the time comes i will go before a beis din, a group of three rabbis, who will ask me questions and will ultimately have the authority to say that i cannot complete my conversion. additionally, the rabbi overseeing my conversion also has the ability to say i'm not ready to go before a beis din, or to say she doesn't feel comfortable overseeing my conversion anymore and turn me away. it's also an interesting complicator that my conversion likely will not be considered valid by some (namely, orthodox people) who only consider orthodox conversions to be valid. same goes for those who are known as patrilineal jews, or jews with a jewish father and a non-jewish mother (yes this framework does struggle under queer identities and relationships but we don't have time to get into that LMAO). currently, orthodox and conservative (no relation to the school of political thought) judaism only recognize jewishness as being able to be passed down matrilineally, and as such there are many people who have lived their entire lives as jews, and yet have needed to undergo some sort of conversion ritual to be considered jewish by a certain group

#long post #jumblr #anarchist #queer #transgender #פסח #jew by choice #jewish conversion #kentucky #torah commentary

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razzmothazz · 3 months

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rambling more abt nightcord and their theme because i just NEED to get it out if my system

i think nightcord is such beautifully constructed with its theme of healing because every character has someone specific helping them out most within the unit

idk how to explain it in general terms but basically

kanade struggles with overworking and not taking proper care of herself, her main help with this comes from mizuki! sure, others help out too but mizuki is the one who points out those self destructive behaviours the most [or at least from ehat i remeber] and this dynamic is so so beautifully shown specifically in carnation recollection

mizuki is the one telling kanade to take a break, but kanade is set on making another song for mafuyu despite being absolutely stuck. i think mizuki is the most clever out of the 4 specifically because of this event, since they knew kanade wont give up on it ever and decided to use a different approach to give her the deserved break and would also help her out in this situation. kanade would never have some time off if it wasnt for mizuki. thats how mizuki cares for her, by "tricking" her into taking one while also getting to spend nice time together and end up reminiscing.

this is such an important story because thanks to mizuki, a part of kanade got to heal.

mafuyu very obviously is mostly helped by kanade, who tries her very best and gives it literally her all to help mafuyu find herself, but she always gives mafuyu space when she needs it as well. i think since this one is most obvious i dont have to dwell on it too much but the love and care kanade has for mafuyu makes me soooo fucking insane like omg. kanade is the whole reason mafuyu even tries. shes the sole reason why mafuyu could get where she is now and didnt give up.

ena is a bit tricky, but surprisingly i think her helper is... mafuyu. i have honestly no clue how to explain what i mean at all, but seeing someone with so much talent and the "perfect" life be completely empty was so important to enas character. mafuyu makes painfully slow progress on her situation yet ena notices it, and she might not fully realize it but its helping ena take things easier with her art as well, which i think is shown very well in hope will someday go beyond the morning. mafuyu makes just a slightly different expression but ena still notices it, paralleled by enas art teacher noticing enas intent and emotion behind her art project. despite so many mistakes in the work on a technical level, it had soul. not to mention mafuyu indirectly helps ena be more understanding of others, which is very obvious when you compare how she was with mafuyu at first vs their current dynamic. mafuyu doesnt even know it but she inspires ena so so much not only in her art but to be better as a person.

and for mizuki, its also very obvious with main help coming from ena. pretty much every mizuki focus [<- exaggeration warning] will have ena trying her best to help mizuki out, and thanks to enas growth she can understand mizuki better and better and know how to deal with their issue. she thinks she needs to know the secret to know mizuki, but she learns that its not actually important, and she wants to show mizuki that as well. she constantly shows mizuki support and care weather they are willing to tell their secret or not, and in her own way wants to reassure mizuki that no matter what she wants to be there for them. ena helps mizuki so much that they even finally consider telling ena their secret, after like a year in canon if not longer!! which is such a huge deal because mizuki was convinced that telling ena someday they will tell what it is was completely a lie. they never had any intention to actually say what it is. but they grew so much and feel so safe around ena that the fact they even CONSIDERED IT implies so much healing, growth and trust. it makes me SOB. i am INSANE about mizuena. ena loves them SO MUCH its just so JSHSHDHYSHEIRUDHXHJSNB

okay im gonna stop here cause the tired is getting to me and i feel like i cant explain myself at all now but you get the point n25 care about eachother so much it makes me cry and punch walls and scream and drop to my knees on the floor in a dramatic way and explode and-

#n25 #rambling #pjsk #i should probably expand on some points here but #not now #if anyone wants me to and/or asks about it i will tho #just not today #my brain is melting into goop atp

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 3 months

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I re-read my post about chapters 22-30 and I realized that theres so much I just fully forgot to mention, mostly relating to the inner circle so heres a quick summary of my thoughts about each ic member now that Im about halfway through the book and have spent some time with them. To briefly recap my previous thoughts, I think their group dynamic is insanely uncomfortable because of how apparent their hierarchy is and also none of them seem to actually like each other all that much

Amren

I dont dislike her in the sense that I dont dislike her personality or the basic concept of her character, but I do hate that shes in the inner circle at all. Like, whats this eldritch creature trapped in a body thats not her own doing hanging out with all these boring people ass people FOR 500 YEARS dude, if I had to spend 500 years with Rhysand I would destroy the entire night court regardless of whether or not I had Amren-levels of power. Like, why on earth would she be satisfied playing second fiddle to Rhysand and living in an APARTMENT in his stupid °•~City of Starlight~•° when shes supposed to be like a billion years old and a thousand times more powerful than him. I feel like itd be interesting to explore that but I know that we really dont from watching cari can read's summaries, so she just ends up being a character thats supposed to be interesting because shes so mysterious but is actually so shrouded in intrigue that it turns around and she just becomes boring again

Mor

When I first met her I said that something about her bothered me but I couldnt put my finger on what it was, but that I still kinda liked her because she atleast annoyed Rhysand. She really hasnt annoyed Rhys in any way since her and Feyres first meeting so I like her less because of that and also because shes mostly just boring to me at the moment. I think another reason why I dont particularly like her is that she feels so intrinsically tied to the misogyny of this world that just suddenly materialized in this book and its really annoying, I would like to avoid that subplot as much as possible. She basically just exists to give Feyre a female friend at the Night Court and to show her that you can totally girlboss your way out of a misogynistic system! But you cant dismantle the system because uhhhhhhhh. change is like a glacier because its slow

Also, shes obviously meant to parallel Ianthe, like shes supposed to be the better version of her, but I cant even imagine her and Feyre making out sloppy style toxic yuri edition so I cant really see her as any kind of improvement. sorry

Cassian

One of my least favourite character types is Fratbro But You Put Him In A Fantasy Setting so Im not the biggest fan of this guy ngl. The one redeeming quality he has is that hes very obviously crushing on all of his friends bisexual style, especially Rhys and Azriel. Its almost a little sad but mostly its just very funny. Like whyd you wanna take their clothes at the illyrian camps so badly huh? You like seeing pretty boys squirm around naked?

Unfortunately, I know that hes gonna end up with Nesta and that hes not even gonna treat her well, my guy is gonna go from being gay because he likes men to being gay because he hates women and I am not looking forward to it

Speaking of Nessian, a lot of sjm critical anti nessian people say that Nesta and Cassian used to be so good and so genuinely romantic in ACOWAR and that their relationship got completely ruined in ACOSF and. I mean, granted they dont ever talk about Cassian behaviour towards Nesta during the meeting at her house in ACOMAF but I hated the way he was just so angry at her on Feyre's behalf when she wasnt even that mad herself, she just felt weird and bad. Of course, I havent read ACOWAR yet and I might change my mind in the future but right now, I'll just say it doesnt surprise me that Cassian would laugh at Nesta falling down the stairs

Azriel

My favourite guy!!! Out of this bunch I mean. My favourite guy in the entire ACOTAR series is probably Lucien, but if we're just talking about the jokers from the Night Court, then this guy is my favorite

I really wasnt expecting much from him, I thought he would have absolutely no personality from what Ive heard other people say about him, but hes basically exactly what I want in an edgy traumatized shadow boi. Ive talked about this before but I really dislike Rhysand and part of that is that I normally really like the archetype of the tortured edgy love interest with shadow powers but he makes it so goddamn annoying by being so flirty and cocky I just want to see him dead. But Azriel is quiet so he doesnt bothr me and also theres some intrigue about his backstory and the extend of his powes but he feels like a solid enough character that he doesnt become boring to me like Amren

I will say though, theres something particularly uncomfortable about watching anyone from the inner circle interact with him and vice versa, I think its because he seems like he doesnt actually like them more than anything else. Ive said this in a previous post, I think Cassian wants to be in a relationship good friends with him and he seems to think they have some good sunshine guy/grumpy guy banter going on but to me it just seems like Azriel genuinely dislikes him. And then he obviously doesnt trust Amren and I feel like hes in love with Mor and has been for a really long time but doesnt actually like her, I honestly feel like hes just sticking by Rhysand because he feels like he owes him and because it gives him an excuse to be close to his crush

Yknow, that I think about it maybe thats why I like him so much. I dont like the Inner Circle, he doesnt like the Inner Circle, thats a relatable king right there

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #pro azriel #somehow #anti nessian #flames and darkness liveblog

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causesciencethatswhy · 3 months

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Wait, from what I gathered from the kmedia, Jkk have been assigned to the same brigade? Meaning that, since they are already in the same division, the brigade doesn't have to be the same and they can choose it? And they purposely chose the same one so they could be together 24/7? Jbgivgzzz i will combust if I understood it correctly, they literally said we can't even pee without each other. The entire MS Jikook era leaves me flabbergasted more and more, it's surreal how lowkey they were the entire last year only to drop this on us, I WASNT READY. And I see how lowkey they are still trying to stay (compared to Taejoon for example), and it's bc they know and we know how big of a deal this is, and if they're not rly dating atp, they're more delusional than us. Just get married pls god bless

I did read anon, that it is very rare for buddy system soldiers to not choose the same brigade since that would kind of defeat the whole point of the system but yes, the option is there and if we were to go by the delusional rantings of tkkrs who were convinced that jk hates being there with him then it would have made sense for him to take the first chance to separate from him, don’t you think? I think that's what's truly always stood out to me regarding jikook, at the end of the day, they choose each other, over and over again. Hopefully one day, it will get ingrained in the heads of at least some of the insane cult members.

And yes,I'm constantly left astounded by jikook too. They've honestly surprised me with their commitment to stick close to one another after seemingly spending a year on such a down low. I always think that if they're not really dating yet, it's less because they don't see other that way and more likely because of timing, but that’s a conversations for another day lol.

#jikook

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gai-is-love-kakagai-is-life · 4 months

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Alright, so imma just spill the beans on the ANBU Gai plot because i cannot contain how horrified I am at the monster I created. I made this blog to talk about it because I know I have difficulties actually writing... So I WILL talk about it!

(EDIT: I just... caved and made this post because I got so excited about my breakthrough. I dont know whether or not i should delete it or drop the whole thing but, it was exciting)

Literally, it started with wanting more angsty Gai, then ANBU Gai and Kakashi being the one to reach put to Gai and they work things out. So... how... and why... did it turn from Gai joining ANBU for Kakashi to getting involved in getting caught between Hiruzen and Danzo's nonsense which involes DESTABILIZING A WHOLE ASS COUNTRY??

I have mentioned the Land of Woods before and... yeah I was cooking it's destabilization and Gai's role in it because I placed so much importance on giving Gai an external conflict outside of his struggles in ANBU and Kakashi. I just HAD to!

Over the course of weeks I researched Naruto's history, the characters, the wars, the countries, the divisions, the magic system and even bought the light novels to understand everyone and everything better... well, I was very selective about who but that's neither here or there... Bottom line is I did the most in trying to create a scenario that would make sense for ANBU Gai that would affect and challenge him. Knowing that a lot of ANBU are either in the village spying on people, protecting the Hokage or infiltrating other countries for assassinations I was like, "That's an idea! Maybe he'll patrol around the village borders with his team and go capture/assassinate targets when not in the village!" It was at this point I practically forgot about Kakashi and Gai's inner struggles to focus on what the fuck kind of missions he would do and what conflict would he be involved in.

Losts of research later I realize that I have a practically blank slate for Gai to play in that he has ties to... The Land of Woods. The victims of the infamous scene where Gai sees the darkness in Kakashi that he lacked himself. It was perfect. It had questions that needed to be answered, like what is it's role in Naruto? Why were they beefing with the Land of Fire/Konoha? What happened to them and why? The answers are: Not much, no idea, and it's essentially lawless land now. There is no leadership and apparently it was a haven for criminals (possibly including Obito and Sasuke at some point). Something happened to it between the period of Kakashi and Itachi slaughtering the Prañja Group (the victims), and Shippuden times and that blank space was mine to color in.

What I did was come up with a reason why it collapsed into the state it did by the time of Shippuden and how Gai was involved. It took a week or so of trying to figure out how destabilizing another country even works (doesnt mean i researched hard. I looked up the methods and imagined from there), but I had come up with Gai and his team assassinating people. But why? And would he stand for it? I wasnt trying to break Gai, just... test how bendy he'll let his morals get in ANBU--

(I posted this early because my phone fell on my face and posted it... )

I wasnt trying to break Gai and I know that as loyal as he is to Konoha and moreso to the people he loves, he wouldn't do something so... devastating. So then I got ROOT involved and now Gai's team is stumbling upon ROOT doing the dastardly deeds of dismantling a dying government. It took until last night for the how to solidify.

... Imma just post pictures of this next part. It came in the middle of me trying to go back and flesh out the Kakagai so I didnt lose it again, but the Land of Woods conflict still got me by the throat.

If you read this far... thank you. If you hate this? Completely understandable. I might delete this post but i had to get this out. I hope that it was at least interesting

#look...#i know this is such a big idea #i should probably settle for a smaller plot I can actually write #it's my baby tho and i love and hate it at the same time #maito gai #kakagai #anbu gai #might guy #kakashi hatake

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stemmmm · 9 months

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episode 3 post! missed the title card if there was one

ep1 ep2

who the fuck is this

ohhhh baby beato momence? very funny to be like oh please teach me to be a witch so i can become so powerful that i can undo even death! *kills people**kills people**kills people**kills people**kills people**kills people**kills people**kills people**kills people*

ah. and battler gets to be a fine pulp on the floor, lovely. she treats him so well.

battler voice: "at least im being mutilated beyond any human recognition by BEAUTIFUL WOMEN"

alright, looks like this episode is going to be sexism-o-clock featuring eva? assuming she'll be the last adult alive? seems we're doing all the women, makes you wonder if any of the men will get backstory treatment at all. i dont mind if they don't, they're all pretty nothing to me.

ah the way patriarchy wears women down to the point where they can only see it fit to squeeze themselves into their restraints, rebellion becomes desperation to be accepted and approved of. and then to further themselves they tear down every other woman they see to uphold the awful system. eva you fool. believe in magic. tear the family standards to shreds under your own power

the theory of n+1 characters in umineko is coming into play. who is this man

this is the first time in my memory that some weird magic shit has happened while battler (on the island) wasnt present but was still drawn to the attention of battler (in the golden land). it has been something id been wondering about, if he's able to be aware of shit his in-game self isnt present for. and now this new stranger has announced he's going to construct the perfect romantic scenario in which he can have the honor of shaking battler's hand

HEY I WAS JOKING

oh cool so it is the case that in each loop she's getting stronger and that's why more people are showing up! i was right about that!

i wonder if eva's ruthlessness over wanting to be the head of the family means that the quest to find the gold will ACTUALLY be acknowledged for once! it still seems a bit early to gain the tools to fight back but i would like... a hint at least. because personally i've got nothing. to me it doesn't even look like a riddle exists past just. very explicit instructions for a ritual which would not get anyone any gold.

oh they mentioned granddad's will which reminds me. what the fuck did he have shannon transcribe in the last part? i figured we were gonna be told eventually so i dont think i even remarked on it but nothing happened with it

ohhhhh we are discussing the forest now and the possibility of a hidden mansion out there. please please please take me to the woods. whats in the woods. i want to be in the woods

ah fun, making it sound like the gold is a trade for the title, twisting the situation around into an issue of which do you value more: your money and lifestyle, or a silly, meaningless title? do you want to sate your greed or do you need to lord it over everyone else in some kind of power play? but they dont really get that what shes saying is that shes going to crazy murder all of you. and how could they. interesting to see who lands on which end though. everyone says they'll just take the money but i feel krauss and especially eva can't be so satisfied with that.

#m.txt #umineko liveblog

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autismsupersoldier · 5 months

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as upset as i am over deleting my prev account, it has been incredible joy to see how many people reblogged my stuff with "ive reblogged this before and its still amazing" or even people who are seeing my art for the first time. its so lovely, thank you all :-) 🧡🧡🧡 i feel a lot calmer about this whole ordeal.

ok thats the short version of my musings, bit of a ramble below

it was never really about losing my followers for me, or anything like that. though that is also a reasonable thing to be upset over if youre for example trying to sell your art (or for any other reason, actually), but since that wasnt my intention, im fine with rebuilding my followerbase again. i have also noticed that, simply put, it really isn't very much about how many followers you have - what plays more of a role is whether you make fanart that resonates or not. most of my popular posts had more notes than i have followers - hence why i assume this to be true. but all that is to say, the real thing that caused me distress is a lack of archival. i have real bad memory issues, so a big thing for me is being able to archive my comings and goings on the interwebs, so that i always have a bit of a thread linking me to my past self. when a thread like that is lost, its terrifying - i know i am losing months, or even in some cases, YEARS of my past life, that i most likely won't be able to remember at all (yes, it can be that bad). but i think maybe im trying to live with it? yknow... things fall out, more things get put in. its not a good system by any means but its what i was given and i can work with it. i can learn to, at least. theres a reason i even developed such bad memory issues, and that was to keep me safe and well during my Survival Years, shall we put it. so i am not mad at myself, i should not be. maybe its fine to sometimes lose big chunks of your life. who says it has to be terrifying? my brain is just making space for more memories as it can feel our storage running out of GBs, so to speak. im still just trying to make my way through life yknow. im good. sometimes I'll forget. and people will tell me a funny story about myself that i had no idea about at all, ever. and I'll laugh just like them because it's still funny, even if its the first time i hear about it. i dunno. theres obviously bad parts of it and im not going to portray it in an Only positive light, but... im livin with it, n whatnot.

#seriously thank you so much #i feel so happy n lucky #my friends... :-) !!!!!

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desudog · 11 days

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honestly i dont know if im essentially entirely fused at this point or what like the past year ive felt very singlet. i havet really had a full switch ive been a lot more of like, a guy with variance but a lot less of a guy whos multiple guys. more in depth sys talk and stuff below the cut.

We were disordered for sure, at least felt it that way and "professionals" did as well, but it doesnt mean anything and doesnt matter, what im getting at is that i never meant to be plural.

we switched and had the most activity, connection, amnesia and division in high school. like switching multiple times a day, splitting weekly type thing. when we dropped we started to slow down and solidify into more specific alters, who were more rounded out and would switch less. only switching once a week became every few weeks became every month became every few months and now.. i havent switched all year really.

i have a theory, and i do think im gonna end up or already am functionally singular.

first, i think my system existed for stress and trauma reasons mostly, and when i was removed from most of that, i was able to actually be a self at all, so a lot of the "need" for plurality that i had was no longer necessary.

but, we were still very much multiple. we were just able to exist outside pain and thus fused a lot of undeveloped personalities into a bigger more consistent one (who could front longer due to like, existing a lot less loosely.)

however i think i know whats making me singular

i wasnt a person.

i had no idea what "me" was because i didnt understand or approve of myself. i had lots of introjects that aligned more to my identities because "i" "couldnt" be them, which is why they were introjects instead of brain spawned. i couldnt relate to any 'myself' so my brain was constantly cycling through who i could be to make the pain go away.

now that i have come to terms with a lot of myself and i have a much better idea of what is 'myself' i notice the more and more i know me, the less im multiple "me"s.

i dont feel like i dont have multiple personalities anymore (which is the language i choose to use for myself) but i do feel like i am closer and closer yet to essentially being singular. im essentially singular now.

i dont know what i plan to do in the future concerning multiplicity, i never really understood people who would chase it themself or force alters or anything but i kinda get it now. i do like being singular more, but i understand it.

in general, im more in a strange place of a sliding identity where im not really multiple separate me's anymore, which is why im more and more inclined to use 'personality' language. im not really seperate guys anymore as much as i am versions of the same guy, and even then ive felt those walls become much more blurred lately.

its been strange going from being very very strictly different alters into being a single person. i dont think ill ever switch again, so i have to say thank you for everyone whos been on this journey with once us, now me.

im going to let my plurality do what it wants. if that means break down and become nothing but room for my self to feel inconsistent sometimes, so be it. if that means come back full force for whatever reason, so be it. im not going to attempt to influence anything for now.

but its something ive noticed lately and wishy sysposting reminded me to make everyone aware haha

i do feel bad though because i know there was people who liked certain alters more than they liked me, or expressed that they missed other alters. i promise im not taking them from you, in a sense theyre still here, and at the very least if i am taking them away, its not on purpose. and im sorry. i miss them too, even when i feel them inherited into me.

currently all of this has just fucked with my sense of my gender and age haha. we'll see where it takes me.

if i do end up trying to set up some barriers again it will probably be to store those 2 things... i dont know

but ever sense i noticed this ive been noticing just who im made up of the most or the least. its funny like who won the battle lol

more privately i do still consider myself plural because of it. im not really a completely singular guy, im like, a guy made up of guys.

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