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thetasteofsunshineonyourtongue · 2 years

Photo

[Image ID: Four photos of an RQG inspired outfit, the first three taken outside in the snow, the last taken against a black background.

Image 1: A person is standing out in a snowy backyard that has many tall pine trees, with bits of green grass peeking out in some places. There is a red and white shed a little ways behind them. She has short brown hair that has blond highlights in it, and is wearing black and gold semi-rimless glasses and a dark red matte lipstick. They are wearing a white shirtwaist, a patterned waistcoat, and a long skirt with the same pattern as the waistcoat. The pattern of the waistcoat and skirt is thin black and white houndstooth stripes forming a large checked pattern. Within those checks are two intersecting single red lines that form their own checked pattern atop it. The shirtwaist has a high collar and buttons up the front, with billowy sleeves that are fitted on the forearms. The waistcoat is closely fitted to the wearer, the bottom ending slightly below the waist and narrowing down into a point in the front. It has two pockets on the front of it, each with a small button in the middle. There is a watch chain draping from the right pocket to the middle button in the center front. The skirt is long and ends at the wearer’s ankles. It is fitted in the waist but flares out slightly at the bottom, which is lined with a black bias tape. There are two rows of buttons along each seam line in the front of the skirt that end about 10 inches below the waistband, with five buttons on each side. Each button on both the waistcoat and the skirt is different, but each is shiny or metallic in some way.

Image 2: A view of the outfit from the back. The waistcoat is in two points, with a seam along the back, and the back of the skirt is knife pleated from both sides to come together in the middle. One of the wearer’s arms is out to the side, with the other one leaning up.

Image 3: Another front view of the outfit, this time the wearer has her hands clasped in front of them and leaning more on one foot than the other. Her boots are more visible, which are dark brown and wet from the snow.

Image 4: A close-up photo of the waistcoat. It has two darts on either side, one ending under the bust and the other, closer to the center, ending over the bust. The small pockets each have their own buttons in the center of them, the left bronze with a flower design on it, the right black with a small rounded white stone in the middle. The buttonholes are black and handsewn. Each of the seven main buttons are different, and top to bottom they are: A gold button in the shape of a clam A black button with a rim of shiny silver A pale gold button with thin, slightly uneven, vertical lines on it A black button with a gold rim and a design in the middle with laurels around three small crowns, and a crown atop the laurels A white button with a matte silver center rimmed with shiny silver A black button with a circling bronze pattern around the edges reminiscent of vines or tentacles A black button with a pattern in the middle that’s brass and looks woven like a basket or something similar

End ID]

MAN am i so excited to show this to y’all!! I don’t do much cosplay, but I am a sewist, and I love making historical garments, so when I was given the option to make clothes for LOLOMG, I knew imdiately what I was going to do. This outfit is based off of 1890’s women’s clothes, with a shirt with many pin tucks, a tailored waistcoat, and a full-length walking skirt. However, I took some minor creative liberties when constructing it. Mainly, the 22 different metallic across the whole thing. I want to specifically draw attention to the buttons on the waistcoat, as each of them represent a PC from RQG. From top to bottom: A clam shell for Azu, for the Heart of Aphrodite replica she wears The simple black for Sasha, with a glint like that of a dagger flying out of the shadows The bright metal for Cel and their unique technical know-how, with lines reminiscent to the many wires they’re known to work with The crowns for Bertie and his noble status and his affinity for gold The silver for Grizzop, with the white of the celestial plane where he hunts The rope-like bronze for Zolf, with patterns that almost resemble the tentacles of a kraken And brass for Hamid, with a woven pattern like that of his born connection to the Weave

#towga #rqg #rusty quill gaming #rqg fanart #rq #rusty quill #my art #historical fashion #cel sidebottom #azu rqg #grizzop drik acht amsterdam #zolf smith #sir bertrand macguffingham #hamid saleh haroun al tahan #sasha racket #also rqg's historical accuracy is 100% definitely not a thing so i feel valid in my historical inaccuracies

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miskapestek · 2 years

Text

ID: A digital painting of a scene from episode 186 of Rusty Quill Gaming in which the party encounters the plants at the heart of The Garden of Yerlik. Three almost house-sized buds occupy most of a clearing among very thick trees. Long, pale roots stretch out from the buds in all directions. The plants are silvery white and contrast against muted browns and blues of the forest. To the right, among the roots, there are some statues of dwarves and animals. In the foreground, on the left hand side, there are small figures of the party looking at the scene. They are turned away from the viewer. From the left: Hamid and Azu, Wild and Zolf tied with a long rope, and closer to the plants Cel, Sumutnyerl and Skraak. END ID.

This is my contribution to TOWGA, a fan project celebrating the Rusty Quill Gaming podcast. I'm very proud of us all! The rest of the book can be found here.

#towga #rusty quill gaming #fanart #rqg #my art #miskapestek

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kristsune · 2 years

Audio

I was able to participate in towga, and this was my contribution: A Short Laugh Compilation that includes all of the main crew past and present, and at least a little laughter from every guest that has appeared in the RQG feed. Both a list of guests and transcript can be found under the cut.

Ed Croft - Story Jam Martyn Pratt - Meet the Crew Jonny Sims - Deadlands Alice Bell - New Year Special 2517! Sean Smith - Trail of Cthulhu Anil Godigamuwe - Fiasco Holiday Special Helen Gould - Thanes of Beowulf Mike LeBeau - Jason Statham’s Big Vacation Grant Howitt - Spire Sasha Sienna - Monster of the Week Lowri Ann - Not Far to Bermuda Tim Meredith - Space Pals Frank Voss - Apocalypse World James Ross - Roman Rogues Imogen Harris - RQG/STL Halloween Crossover Becky Annison - Bite Marks Maddy Searle - The Quiet Year Finish with Benquest with Ending Cast.

ALEX NEWALL: I bring you an alpha male and this is how you greet him?

[Laughter]

JONNY SIMS: High school marching band

[Laughter]

ALL: Woaaaah!

[Laughter]

BEN MEREDITH: Bryn gets it!

JONNY: Oh, Jesus

BEN: Yes!

JONNY: Oh, Jesus no.

BEN: Ordinance

[Extended Brynterval]

ALEX: No

JAMES: Yes, of course

BRYN MONROE: I was trying so hard… not to crack up

BEN: I forgot my audience

ALEX: I’m really sorry Jonny,

[Brynterval continues]

ALEX: (con’t) I forget what it’s like for normals, trying to corral this

JONNY: It’s fine… it’s fine, it’s fine.

[Laughter]

JAMES ROSS: it’s quite a good plan

JONNY: That would’ve been lovely

[Laughter]

LYDIA NICHOLAS: Really if you gave her a form that said ‘cult’ at the top of it

[Laughter]

SEAN SMITH: Funny you should say that

BEN: Where do you see yourself in five years? Leading a sacrifice

[Laughter]

ALEX: so you might even get advantage then on that

HELEN GOULD: (simult.) sink faster

[Laughter]

ALEX: yeah, but it’s what she wants so its okay

ALEX: Beowulf

[Laughter]

ALEX: Okay!

HELEN: Wow

[Laughter]

GRANT HOWITT: Done with the Microsoft Office jokes now?

BEN: I’m totally done

GRANT: Okay cool. One more?

ALEX: Just don’t go too loud or it’ll get Clippy

LYDIA: Yeah

[Laughter]

GRANT: Well done! Well done.

LYDIA: I’m worried after this none of them are going to Excel

[Laughter]

GRANT: Nice

HELEN: Grant Good Heavens Howitt

[Laughter]

GRANT: we’ll go to the barracks ... yeah

[Laughter]

BEN: Did a hair piece wrong you or something?

[Laughter]

SASHA SIENNA: Oh no everyone’s gonna hear my laugh now

HELEN: No! It’s fine!

SASHA: I’m really, uhh

HELEN: C’mon no one’s gonna mind your laugh

SASHA: No, I know

HELEN: Talk to Bryn, or me

SASHA: Oh god, after Bryn

ALEX: It’s fine, I can put, I can use my bad laugh today if you want.

SASHA: Could you?

HELEN: What’s your bad laugh?

[Laughter]

LYDIA: This is what happens when you allow too many women in the room. Alex is in the corner like (unintelligible) in hysterics but also pain. Like, I think possibly this kind of laughter doesn’t happen to him very much, they’re new muscles.

[Laughter]

BEN: Wait, so you mean our ship is…. real thirsty

[Laughter]

BEN: Hot

ALEX: Hot

[Laughter]

LYDIA: I just wish that we could’ve gotten the cameras working cause like Helen’s parade of expressions

[Laughter]

LYDIA: And a special guest

JAMES: James Ross!

ALL: Yaaaay!

ALEX: Who let him back in?

LYDIA: Yeah

[Laughter]

LYDIA: I’m gonna give James a little while to think about what he said

[Laughter]

IMOGEN HARRIS: Also actually Spacestation, no Starcluster. Go with your first instinct

HELEN: You-You’re going to be fine at this you’re gonna get right in there.

HELEN: I barely understand it myself because - I just - I see a rule and my eyes glaze over.

[Laughter]

ALEX: I’d like to congratulate you on a mechanic that will actually physically force me to behave if I get out of hand... well, well played.

[Laughter]

BRYN: We will definitely create enough chaos for you to need to do very little in my experience.

BECKY ANNISON: Yessss!

[Laughter]

BEN: A group of people who were just like: I just want to eat the paste. I wanna. I just… I just need to know?

[Laughter]

HELEN: Now, an important thing to note about discussions in this game is that they never result in a decision.

LYDIA: They’re familiar with improvised podcasts then.

[Laughter]

HELEN: Zolf the badger begins to walk away from his -

BEN: Oh!.... what a good thing that I should’ve asked you to do…. Could you please describe your characters

[Laughter]

ALEX AS GRIZZOP: But I want you to know that you’re lucky I didn’t murder you for not trusting me

ALEX: and then Grizzop leaves.

[Laughter]

LYDIA: Goodness me.

BRYN: Ohhh noo.

[Laughter]

ALL: Byyyee!

#rqg #rusty quill gaming #towga #alexander j newall #ben meredith #bryn monroe #james ross #lydia nicholas #helen gould #my audio #im only tagging main cast #because that is far too many names for me to type out again #but this was a lot of fun #and i felt very fitting for me to create for this #laughter is still my favorite part

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guinevere01 · 2 years

Text

After over six months it is finally done, my Rusty Quill Gaming quotes crochet blanket! >:D

This blanket is part of the book Look Out! Lots of Magnificent Gifts! by The Ones Who Got Away. A fan project as a love letter and thank you to the actual play podcast Rusty Quill Gaming and the people who made it possible. Link in the reblog! (As y’know, tumblr tends to eat posts with links)

ID: A solid granny square crochet blanket representing the entire main campaign of Rusty Quill Gaming, including Ancient Rome. The blanket consists of 20 x 23 squares in various colours. Each episode is represented by a coloured square with, for about half of the episodes, a quote from that episode embroidered on it. There are more quotes near the top than near the bottom. The RQG logo is in the center, and there are blue veins starting lightly at the top middle, branching across the blanket, and spreading out and crossing over one another towards the bottom, getting densest at the bottom right. End ID

Detailed description below the cut!

ID: A solid granny square crochet blanket representing the entire main campaign of Rusty Quill Gaming, including Ancient Rome. The blanket consists of 20 x 23 squares in various colours, forming a rectangle of roughly 160cm wide and 180cm tall, or approximately 5ft by 6ft. Each episode is represented, from left to right, top to bottom, by a square coloured after events from that episode and, for about half of the episodes, with a quote from that episode embroidered on it. There are more quotes near the top than near the bottom. Next to each episode, both horizontally and vertically, is a filler square. Filler squares are either white, light grey, or black, and form diagonals from top left to bottom right of that filler colour. In the center of the blanket is the RQG logo embroidered on a larger square consisting of 4 x 4 black squares. The logo consists of a gear, banner, microphone, quill, and twenty sided die with the text Rusty Quill Gaming over various parts of it. Between each of the squares is a small white border. The exceptions are the squares forming the logo, which are attached with black, and episode 50 (the Mr. Ceiling simulation) which has an aqua border. Deep blue veins run across the blanket through plot significant episodes. They start on episode 7, when the party retrieves the simulacrum from the sewer, moves on to episode 40, when they first hear about the riots. From there it splits into two strands running down towards episode 120 but stopping at it’s border, this is where Grizzop starts getting the Hephaestus lot to build the killswitch, and running towards 108, when they get news the riots have spread. From 108 one branch spreads to 126, the other two spread into season four. From episode 126, when the 18 months have past and the veins are everywhere, it spreads to the rest of season four, passing through every episode square aside from the Ancient Rome episodes, and the first of two brainy pink Shoin episodes. The second brainy pink Shoin episode however, is covered in copious amounts of blue veins. One strand of blue veins enters the square, therein multiplying to fill it almost entirely, none of the strands leave the square. Episode 181, when the party reaches the Garden of Yerlik, is also a super spreader, with veins spreading from it in every direction. Towards the finale episodes, the bottom right of the blanket, the veins increase in number and start crossing one another, filling up more of the available space until finally they form an almost solid blue edge around episode 218 and the bottom right filler square, which they can’t seem to enter. Most episodes are a solid colour, and most quotes are either black or white, but there are a few exceptions. There are three multi coloured squares in the second airship arc, representing the Aurora Borealis, Azu!Hamid’s purple and pink suit dress, and the colour changes to all mundane items as a result of passing through the Aurora Borealis a second time. The quote for episode 174, the airship crash, is red on white, representing blood in snow. The quote for 178 contains a colour switch in the quote to indicate a different speaker, and 179 contains three overlapping quotes in different colours. End ID

#towga #rqg #rusty quill gaming #crochet #crochet blanket #guine crafts #rqg spoilers #described #described art #guine's art

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evieebun125 · 2 years

Photo

i’m so unbelievably happy i can finally share this!! :D I know this has been drawn so many times but i just love them all seeing their loved ones one last time

This was made for @towga a fan project made with lots of love for rqg, go on and check out their blog to see everyones gorgeous works and to look at the pdf they painstakingly put together <3

Image ID under the cut

[ID: A digital art piece based on the party's trip to the garden of Yerlick.

The wider background is of a snowy dark forest. The trees are white cast in dark shadows, there are dead blue leaves at their trunks.

The party is walking from the top right to the bottom left. All of their ghostly companions are a shade of light blue and are translucent against the wintry background.

Starting from the top right of the group is Oscar Wilde. He is wearing a blue winter coat with dark fur and a brown backpack, he is looking towards the forest with a smile on his face and he has a rope tied around his waist.

In front of Wilde is Cel, They are captured in a wide gesture, their eyes are closed and they are smiling as they explain something to the ghost of their husband.

To Cel’s right is their unnamed husband, He is a muscular orc with an open tunic, he has a full beard and his hair is done up in a messy bun, He is smiling and looking at Cel. His arms are crossed over his chest and he has a beaded bracelet on his left wrist.

To the bottom left of Cel is Zolf. He is ducked into his jacket and is clutching his glaive in a tight gripe. He is looking forward with a distressed expression on his face.

To Zolf’s right is Feryn, Feryn has his eyes closed, he has both of his arms up and in front of himself as though he is telling a story. He has two braids hanging from his beard and he is wearing a loosely laced tunic.

To the bottom right of Zolf is Azu and Grizzop. Azu is looking to her right with a small pensive smile on her face, her hands are clasped in prayer in front of her. Grizzop is hanging on her left shoulder, he looks relaxed and he is grinning as he talks to Azu,

Directly underneath Zolf and Feryn is Hamid and Aziza. Hamid is wearing a gold embroidered furred lavender winter coat. He has one hand on his chest and the other is clasped with Aziza’s. His eyes are closed and he is singing with his sister. Aziza’s pose mirrors Hamid’s, she has long curly hair and is wearing a long dress and a fur jacket and flat shoes.

In front of Hamid and Aziza is Skraak and Meerk. Skraak is wearing a leather coat and has both of his hands gripped onto his backpack. His hood is up and is obscuring part of his face. To his right Meerk is wearing a similar outfit but his hood is lowered. He has both of his hands up and his eyes are closed as he talks, he looks happy.

Closes to the bottom left is Sumutnyerl, They have white and gray streaked hair and they are wearing a purple and gray patterned robe, their hood is pulled up and it's lined with dark fur. End Id]

#TOWGA #rqg #rqgaming #rusty quill gaming #skraak #meerk #Aziza Hawaa al-Tahan #Grizzop drik acht Amsterdam #Zolf Smith #Feryn Smith #Sumutnyerl #cel sidebottom #rqg Oscar Wilde #azu #Eviee's art

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nihilityart · 2 years

Text

My AU's incorrect quotes.

(Most of these are from a generator or tumblr)

Raphael: am I a boy? am I a girl? who knows?! But everyone finds me hot and that makes everyone gay.

Raphael: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT! Uriel: ...

Raphael: Oh, fiddlesticks. Uriel : Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Victoria: I just ended a five year relationship. Johnathan (Broly): Oh no, are you okay? Victoria: It's okay, it wasn't mine.

Victoria, trying to comfort Johnathan (Broly): What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

Victoria: Are you having another depressive episode? Johnathan (Broly): A depressive episode? Johnathan (Broly): I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Vegeta: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Johnathan (Broly): 420? Vegeta: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Goku : 69. Vegeta: Yeah it was 69.

Goku : If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Vegeta: Okay. *later* Johnathan (Broly): Vegeta! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Goku , whispering: Deny everything. Vegeta, loudly: That isn't a chair.

Vegeta: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Goku : Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Vegeta: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Johnathan (Broly), recording: This is so cute.

Johnathan (Broly): I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it. Vegeta: Broly, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Kakarot?

Raphael: What is your favourite mythical story? Johnathan (Broly): The Story Of My Will To Live. Raphael: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Veldora: I’m totally useless. Rimuru: You’re not totally useless. Rimuru: You can be used as a bad example.

Veldora: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Rimuru: Well then who's is it? Veldora, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Rimuru after killing 20,000 Humans: I’m going to hell. Veldora: Probably. Rimuru: I'll pick you up? Veldora: *nodding* Carpool.

Veldora: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Rimuru: Spear. Veldora: BLOCKED.

Ephilion : So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK. Orion: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Ephilion : Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Metatron: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Raphael: Looks like someone's a HO. Orion: NaBrO. Uriel: I'm done with all of you!

Orion: What does “take out” mean? Uriel: Food. Metatron: Dating. Raphael: Murder. Ephilion : It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

Ephilion : Look guys, I need help. Metatron: Love help? Orion: Financial help? Uriel: Emotional help? Raphael: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Raphael* Raphael: What?

Ephilion : So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl.... Uriel: .... Metatron: ..... Raphael: ...... Orion: ..Who? Ephilion : That's the thing we don't- *Everyone stares at Orion*

Ephilion : Good morning. Orion: Good morning. Uriel: Good morning. Metatron: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Raphael: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

Uriel: I swear to me I'm the only one here with a braincell. Ephilion , Metatron, Orion, and Raphael: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Metatron: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Uriel: 'Prettiest Smile' Ephilion : 'Nicest Personality' Raphael: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Orion: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Metatron: Would never stab anyone. Uriel: Would stab someone in retaliation. Raphael: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Orion: Would stab without warning. Ephilion : Would stab as a warning.

*Everyone is giving advice to Orion* Metatron: It's okay to ask for help. Ephilion : You're not a burden. Raphael: Murder is okay. Uriel: Your feelings matter.

Metatron: You're a lying piece of shit! Raphael : Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Ephilion: I'm leaving and I'm taking Orion with me! Uriel, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Uriel: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery! Orion: This unmitigated poppycock? Raphael: Extravagant hogwash! Uriel: Okay, stop.

#rimuru tempest #The God Raphael #veldora tempest #towga au #Johnathan (towga)#The God Uriel #Goku #Vegeta #Broly #Victoria Primo (towga)#The God Ephilion #The God Orion #The God Metatron #The Infinity Gods

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mori-stuff · 2 years

Text

„Look Out Lots Of Magnificent Gifts“ by The Ones Who Got Away contributions, round two! And this time it‘s a suit because when do I ever not make suits.

Hamid‘s colour palette is both a delight and a struggle to work with, but i actually really love the shade of purple (i swear it looks more purple in person) i ended up finding after seeing a similar one on the incredible Hamid designs by @psrj ! I‘m always a bit sad that suits looks slightly awkward on my mannequin, especially since the jacket is deliberately cut a bit weirdly to help a little with that halfling body shape, but I hope the fancy little guy wouldn’t mind ;)

Please check out the other incredible works of everyone involved in the TOWGA fan project!!

ID: Several photos of a sewing mannequin wearing a three piece suit over a white dress shirt, inspired by Hamid‘s character description. The waistcoat is the same burgundy purple colour as the trousers, has four welted pockets and a row of small brass buttons down the front. The dark green suit jacket has three a bigger version of the same buttons for closure and rounded lapels. The sleeves, lapels and the front bottom of the jacket are embroidered with swirly designs evocative of flames in shades of purple and gold. The background is a dark blue wall with stars painted on it. End ID.

#rqg #hamid #hamid saleh haroun al tahan #rqg hamid #hamid salad #(his true name)#towga #the ones who got away #look out! lots of magnificent gifts!#lolomg #mori makes stuff #sewing #tailoring #(i guess)#suit making #embroidery #look out

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thatoneaceinthecorner · 2 years

Audio

And here it is! My updated “loads of hitpoints” compilation, which is included in the LOLOMG fan project by @towga. There’s a full (and very long) transcript under the cut, which can also be found in the zine, so go check that out and give the rest of the zine a look while you’re there! Here’s to the magnificent chaos that was Rusty Quill Gaming, all the amazing talented people in the fandom, and sixteen glorious minutes of my favorite running joke in the series.

[Dice roll]

ALEX: What’s your AC?

BRYN: Uh, thirteen?

ALEX: Uh, it will be a hit, I believe.

BRYN: Yeah, of course it will.

[Pause]

BRYN: Why am I standing next to an enemy?

BEN: Because you—

LYDIA: (simult) Because Hamid wants to be a hero and you roleplay well!

ALEX: (overlapping) Also, what spell were you gonna cast?

BRYN: Magic Missile.

ALEX: Ah, fair.

[Dice roll]

LYDIA: Oh no.

ALEX: (overlapping) And deals almost the highest he can roll, a five.

BRYN: Five damage?

ALEX: Yup.

BRYN: It’s cool, I’ve got loads of hitpoints now.

[James laughs]

ALEX: Ah, you rested, and you slept, and all of the things.

[Lydia laughing loudly]

ALEX: Okay cool, let’s roll some damage, then.

[Helen gives a long laugh]

BEN: It’s alright, we’ve got loads of hitpoints.

[Helen continues laughing while dice roll in the background]

LYDIA: Yeah, falling damage actually really hurts.

BEN: Oh no I have loads of hitpoints, I’m—I can’t one-shot myself. [laughs] So this is fine.

[Dice rolls]

BEN: Aw, especially not with a roll like that!

ALEX: Grizzop takes twenty-three damage.

BEN: That’s fine, I got loads of hitpoints.

ALEX: Yeah, I know you do. That’s why I’ve got to punish you in different ways.

ALEX: (dramatically) Lydia. Is right to be concerned!

LYDIA: (overlapping) Yeah?

HELEN: What do you mean?

ALEX: Your large axe sweeps into the creature, a fine torso hit, that schlorps through it, gashes Zolf hard—

[Lydia hisses]

HELEN: Noooo!

ALEX: Dealing him thirty-two points of damage and out the other side.

BEN: Azu it’s fine, I got loads of hitpoints.

[Everyone laughs, Bryn makes a sound of despair]

ALEX: And I’ll end the episode there!

[Laughing and sounds of despair continue, Lydia screeches]

ALEX: I’m so happy that you keep critting on creatures specifically designed to punish you for it!

BRYN: (simult) You’re so cruel! You’re so cruel!

BEN: Sorry, just, just—just very quickly I would like to, uh, make a point of order—I’ve got fifty hitpoints left, it’s fine.

LYDIA: Left? You’ve got fifty hitpoints left? What?

BEN: (simult) Yes! I’ve got eighty-two hitpoints!

ALEX: Let’s be clear—

BEN: I’m such a beefy boy!

ALEX: I mean, it’ll probably break on its own eventually.

BEN: Here we go again!

ALEX: (laughing) Okay.

HELEN: Ah!

[Dice roll]

BEN: Loads of hitpoints.

ALEX: Another lightning strike!

BEN: (whispering) He can’t kill me.

[Alex laughs, sound of many dice rolling]

ALEX: I don’t like that I can roll this many d6 and Ben’s like, “don’t care, mate.”

BEN: I mean, it’ll hurt, but—

[Dice roll on the table]

ALEX: You’ve been struck by lightning twice!

ALEX: Plus—

BEN: Wha?

ALEX: Yeah, people can—people can keep talking as the effects keep stacking up.

HELEN: Uh oh.

BEN: It’s alright, I got loads of hitpoints.

ALEX: Uh, that’s absolutely a good call.

LYDIA: Because since the things I have are kind of explode-y, I do not want to hurt—

ALEX: (interrupting) Correct.

BEN: Go for it, I’ve got loads of hitpoints!

ALEX: It hits.

HELEN: Oh no!

BEN: I haven’t got a very good AC.

[Dice roll, followed by a pause]

BEN: (whispering) Got loads of hitpoints.

LYDIA: Yeah, we know, Ben!

HELEN: (simult) Stop saying that! It’s betrayed us before!

BEN: (simult) I will say it—I will say it until I’m dead.

ALEX: Bryn—Bryn, I’m gonna need you to maths for me on the rapid.

BRYN: Right.

BEN: I may not have loads of hitpoints.

BEN: He’s a wrong’un, isn’t he audience, don’t you think?

LYDIA: (overlapping) He—he’s a wrong’un.

HELEN: (simult) Yeah!

ALEX: See, Ben’s laying it on all thick ‘cause people know how—how he reacts when characters die, now.

BRYN: Didn’t—I mean, Azu literally also just—

BEN: (simult) Oh, I got loads of hitpoints.

HELEN: Everyone around me just wants to throw themselves into danger—

BEN: No, it’s fine, I have loads of healy—

HELEN: (interrupting) Shut up, Ben!

[Everyone laughs]

BRYN: When you say everyone, you mean Ben.

ALEX: Nineteen.

BEN: Round up or down?

ALEX: Round down, in this situation.

BEN: Cool, eight. I got loads of hitpoints!

ALEX: None of you notice any difference in the water level, or behavior of the water in any way.

HELEN: Weird.

[Ben sighs]

BEN: Right. I’ve got loads of hitpoints. Um—

[Helen laughs]

LYDIA: I don’t!

BEN: (simult) I stick my head—stick my head above water.

ALEX: Hits.

BEN: (whispering) Got loads of hitpoints.

HELEN: (whispering) Stop saying that.

BEN: No.

BEN: Only half of that fluid’s gone, so send in the second monster!

ALEX: Yesss!

LYDIA: (simult) What? No!

HELEN: (simult) No!

BRYN: Bye!

[Everyone laughs nervously]

ALL: Bye!

BEN: I’ve got loads of hitpoints left.

[Helen laughs]

[Helen laughing]

BEN: I’ll just get hit by a trap, it’s fine. I’ve got loads of hitpoints.

HELEN: Noooo!

[Bryn laughs, Lydia screeches]

ALEX: In Ben’s defense, he does now have—

BEN: I’ve got loads of hitpoints.

ALEX: (overlapping) Loads of hitpoints.

BEN: (simult) I’ve got ninety-two whole hitpoints!

LYDIA: That is—

HELEN: How come you’ve got more than me? I’m—

BEN: Uh, I’ve got a big con score.

HELEN: Oh.

ALEX: Skraak looks ready to murder Zolf.

HELEN: Oooh! Azu steps between Skraak and Zolf.

BEN: Good luck, I’ve got loads of hitpoints.

BEN: I’ve got loads of hitpoints!

ALEX: You are not Zolf. This character is injured by lightning.

BEN: (simult) I’ve got loads of hitpoints!

HELEN: You’re not beefy!

ALEX: Decision time.

BEN: I’m pretty—pretty beefy girl.

BRYN: (simult) Pretty beefy, yeah.

[Dice rolling over the top of Alex speaking]

ALEX: Hear this?

HELEN: Ohhh.

ALEX: (simult) This is the sound of my favorite type of damage, it’s—it takes a little bit of engineering, but—

BEN: (overlapping) The deadliest kind of damage in any system ever.

[Dice continue rolling]

HELEN: Yeah.

BEN: S’alright I got loads of hitpoints.

[Helen snorts]

ALEX: And what was your athletics check, just to let me confirm?

BRYN: (simult) Hey guess what?

BEN: (simult) Fourteen.

ALEX: (simult) Excellent.

[Dice rolling]

BRYN: Guess what, Ben? I’m a beefy boy.

BEN: (delighted) Are you a beefy boy?

[Bryn laughs]

ALEX: No.

BEN: (sadly) Oh.

ALEX: You failed.

BEN: (overlapping) Fair enough.

[Helen chuckling]

ALEX: You failed the check and he’s a beefy, beefy boy.

BRYN: I’m a beefy boy.

[Alex laughs]

BEN: S’alright, it’s only eleven damage, got loads of hitpoints left.

HELEN: Ohhh.

ALEX: I’m glad you have that attitude, because I think what we’re gonna do is—

BEN: (interrupting) No I literally, mechanically have loads of hitpoints.

ALEX: (simult) I know—

BEN: Well, I mean, I’m gonna knock and then open the door, ‘cause all she’s gonna say is go away, but she then might shoot me. But that’s probably gonna be—that’ll be fine.

[Alex wheezes]

HELEN: Uh—

LYDIA: Got a lotta hitpoints.

BEN: Got loads of hitpoints.

ALEX: (laughing) Got loads of hitpoints.

[Everyone laughs quietly]

HELEN: Um—

BEN:(simult) She—I mean, look, she cannot one-shot me, so we’re all good.

[Ben and Lydia laugh]

HELEN: You said that in your Zolf voice.

BEN: Yeah, I know.

[Helen laughs]

HELEN: Okay.

ALEX: I mean you say that, I’m fairly certain you’re playing the splattered remains of Zolf Smith.

BEN: Uhhh, uh it depends, how many hitpoints have I got left?

LYDIA: (simult) He’s got loads of hitpoints.

BEN: (simult) It’s loads. Looaads of hitpoints.

[Helen laughing]

ALEX: Okay, I’m gonna roll, I do—oh, exactly one more hitpoint than the number of hitpoints you’ve got.

BEN: Oh go on, take a guess, how many is that then, Alex?

ALEX: Ninety … two.

BEN: Ha! I’m on zero, not minus one, screw you.

ALEX: Oh come on, that was a good guess, though!

BEN: (overlapping) Yeah you actually guessed my hitpoints, that was very good.

[Bryn and Lydia laugh]

ALEX: And I’m assuming that Zolf basically doesn’t have anything at all, ‘cause he’s, you know, he’s got—he’s got loads of hitpoints, why bother?

BEN: Okay. I feel like at that point, I’m gonna go in, ‘cause, I’m—I’m magic, so what the hell are they gonna do?

[Lydia laughs]

LYDIA: I got loads of hitpoints!

BEN: I’ve got—I’ve got loads of horrible spells!

ALEX: I’d like to start this episode with everyone giving me a will save, please.

BEN: (overlapping) Yaaay!

HELEN: (simult) Ugh.

[Dice rattling]

BEN: It’s fine, I’ve got loads of will points.

ALEX: There’s no aggression there, but she is just … sinking them into your hand without, uh, realizing she’s doing so.

BEN: (overlapping) S’alright, I got loads of hitpoints.

[Everyone laughs]

ALEX: It’s true! You have got loads of hitpoints, it’s true.

BRYN: (overlapping) Sometimes people just wanna hear the classics!

BEN: She couldn’t one-shot me with a shotgun, she’s not gonna one-shot me with her hands!

[Alex laughs]

BEN: That’s fine. You have character classes, you’ll be fine, like. You’ve got the hitpoints.

BRYN: You’ve got—you’ve got loads of hitpoints.

[Lydia chuckles]

BEN: Yeah.

AZU: I know someone who got hit by lightning, like … three times.

[Lydia chuckles]

CARTER: Wow!

LYDIA: Still had loads of hitpoints!

[Everyone laughs, someone claps]

ALEX: Well done, all of you.

HELEN: Thank you.

ALEX: (overlapping) There was a version of events where you wouldn’t all manage it, and I thought I’d give you a challenge you can’t solve with a dice, or—quote, “all the hitpoints.”

[Helen and Bryn laugh]

LYDIA: Yeah. I think all of us, all of us—

BEN: (simult) Where we’re going we don’t need hitpoints.

BEN: Oooh, that’s bad!

BRYN: I would like to state for the record … that I do not have loads of hitpoints!

[Ben laughs, Lydia groans]

HELEN: How many hitpoints do you have?

BRYN: Fifty-one.

BEN: Oooh, that could—mmm. We’re in the danger zone.

ZOLF: Zolf “still got loads of hitpoints” Smith.

CEL: Cel, actually better than usual, ‘cause I—I beast-morphed into a massive bat thing with a big wolfy snout, and teeth and claws, so I got—I got tons of hitpoints, uh, now, um. So, you know, and uh—Sidebottom, yeah.

BEN: So we’d have had, like a—you know, big fight, or something, but—

LYDIA: We got loads of hitpoints.

[Alex laughs]

BEN: They—they weren’t player characters, and therefore they died.

ALEX: Oooh, you’re in—you’re in my corner now, Ben.

BEN: Thanks d20 systems.

ALEX: (overlapping) Ben “look at all my hitpoints” Meredith, you’re in my town.

HELEN: Oh nooo. For the audience, Alex just, like, moved his shoulders as if he’s limbering up … to step into the boxing ring.

BEN: (overlapping) Alex, I’ve got—I’ve got ninety-two hitpoints, bring it on.

ALEX: The trick I have found with you, Ben, is not to threaten—

HELEN: (simult) Ben, stop this!

ALEX: Is not to threaten you with mere hit point damage, there’s more interesting ways to deal with you as a character now.

[Bryn laughs]

HELEN: Oh no.

BRYN: I cast resist energy on myself.

ALEX: Makes sense.

BRYN: ‘Cause I do not have loads of hitpoints.

LYDIA: But that means, still, uh—now, not loads of hitpoints. Only—only small-to-medium hitpoints. Not loads.

[Alex laughing]

LYDIA: Not a fan.

ALEX: Not a fa—

[Alex laughs harder]

BRYN: Could—could you not?

ALEX: (simult) Getting hit in the face? Good, yeah, loads of hitpoints. The tree looks at you oddly—oooh. Ooh, no.

[Lydia chuckles]

BEN: Yeah!

BEN: So, yeah, so, the previous fights we’ve just done, we didn’t get any extra healing, but it does mean that I don’t have any healing for when we pop—well, sorry, I don’t have any channel positives, I’m still a cleric, I have loads of healing left.

ALEX: Loads of hitpoints. For everyone! Share ‘em around.

ALEX: I am going to drain you of those hitpoints, Ben.

BEN: It’s fine, I got loads of them.

ALEX: (simult) Benjamin Meredith.

[Lydia and Helen laugh]

HELEN: Ah!

ALEX: (simult) Yeah, good! It’ll only make the beasties stronger.

BEN: Fine, do it! Do it, kill me in this arc, let’s see what happens. I’m not afraid.

[Pause]

ALEX: Don’t tempt me, Frodo!

BEN: (overlapping) No I will, I’m actively doing it. Go on, kill me.

HELEN: Noooo!

[Ben cackles]

LYDIA: Aw man …

HELEN: You might not be afraid, I’m afraid. I might be collateral damage!

ALEX: Zolf, zombie-slayer, fort save MaGee—

[Bryn chuckles]

ALEX: What’s up next?

BEN: Aw, uh, same, and to be honest I’m not concerned because I’m a cleric and clerics are built to kill a lot of undead all at the same time, so, it’s fine.

[Lydia laughs loudly]

ALEX: True facts.

LYDIA: (overlapping) It’s like—it’s the opposite of like, I got a lot of hitpoints, I got a lot of channel positive energy—

BRYN: Azu is no longer invisible.

HELEN: Mmm.

ALEX: Oh well, I suppose then Azu is the one who’ll die, but yeah, same difference.

HELEN: (simult) But I have quite a lot of hitpoints and so does Zolf, so, me and Zolf are the best people to have—to be aware of, really.

BEN: (simult) Yeah we’re fine, it’s all good. I got loads of hitpoints left, we’ll deal with them later, let’s go.

[Alex chuckles]

HELEN: (overlapping) Yeah, I’ve got eighty-three hitpoints left, so.

ALEX: How we doing? I’ve got half the party currently feeling all lackadaisical, I’ve got one of you starting to, uh, trip over your words—

BEN: I’m doing alright, thanks.

ALEX: Yeah, you got a load of hitpoints, let’s ignore you.

ALEX: Correct! So you’re now next to Zolf … Zolf “loads of hitpoints” Smith.

LYDIA: Yeah.

ALEX: At which point, the creature is facing off against a tasty, tasty boy, full of hitpoints.

HELEN: No!

BEN: Yeah.

[Lydia chuckles]

ALEX: Rather distressingly, and I—I’m annoyed, because this is Ben playing well … it makes no sense for it to attack anyone else.

BEN: Yup.

ALEX: (simult) I really want it to. But it doesn’t.

BEN: Yup.

ALEX: So I guess I’m going for beefy, hitpoints MaGee.

[Helen laughs, Alex sighs loudly in frustration]

BEN: Yeah, go on, drain my hitpoints, see if I care.

ALEX: (simult) What’s your touch AC?

[Bryn, Helen, and Lydia laugh]

BEN: Or my charisma, see if I care.

[Everyone except Alex laughs]

ALEX: What’s your touch AC?

BEN: Oh, right! Fifteen.

ALEX: So there is a straight run, it is past a bunch of watchers.

BEN: Uh, Zolf will go last, because Zolf is Zolf, and wants to make sure everyone gets out, especially ‘cause he suggested it.

ALEX: Plus he’s got a load of hitpoints.

BEN: I got so many hitpoints.

HELEN: So, if I pick up a piece of wood with a nail in it, I’m saying, this is short-ranged and piercing, perhaps.

BEN: Yeah. And I made those decisions ‘cause Zolf has loads of hitpoints, and has a habit of losing his equipment.

[Bryn laughs]

BEN: So, Alabaster. You take yourself … fifteen damage.

ALEX: Fine, I got loads of hitpoints.

[Jonny and Lydia laugh]

BEN: If you want context for that joke, go listen to Rusty Quill Gaming.

[Lydia laughs, a dice rolls]

BEN: Oh no!

ALEX: Azu?

[Dice rolls, Helen sighs loudly]

HELEN: Yes?

ALEX: (cackling while speaking) Ohohohoho sh*t. I shouldn’t swear, ohhhohoho!

[Lydia laughs, Alex continues cackling over the top of everyone else]

HELEN: Alex …

BRYN: Alex …

[Alex cackling]

HELEN: No! No, what’s this?

BEN: (simult) Helen it’s fine, you’ve got loads of hitpoints.

HELEN: I know, but he’s laughing so much!

[Alex’s laughter increases in pitch]

HELEN: Alex!

ALEX: Okay.

BEN: It’s … more of a mischievous giggle.

ALEX: (simult) Helen—sorry, Azu—you take … ten, twenty … thirty-one … forty-two … forty-four lightning damage.

LYDIA: You may yet live! You’ll probably live, you’ll be fine.

BRYN: I hope so.

BEN: You’ve got … no hitpoints.

ALEX: It’s moving with terrifying purpose, that’s the best I can say.

HELEN: Mmm.

BEN: Fine … okay.

[Dice roll]

BEN: Uh, absolutely not.

BRYN: I think, Ben, it’s got both loads of hitpoints and loads of AC, and is essentially saying you don’t matter.

LYDIA: I have literally lost track, are we—are we saving Zolf’s life or Wilde’s?

HELEN: (overlapping) I don’t know what’s just happened.

ALEX: We are on the right side of it by the skinniest—

BEN: Oh, no no no no, Zolf—Zolf doesn’t give a crap, Zolf’s got loads of hitpoints, it’s about Wilde.

LYDIA: (overlapping) Right, okay, so it’s Wilde?

ALEX: Big beastie … big beastie.

BEN: Bring it.

HELEN: Ben! He has been bringing it! It’s not going well for us! It is not going well!

LYDIA: Yeah, you with your loads of hitpoints—I think it could one-shot Cel!

BEN: Well that’s why I’m saying—no, but that’s why I’m saying bring it, bring it to me!

[Helen bursts out laughing]

LYDIA: Ohhh, I see, I see.

HELEN: (overlapping) Serve it to Ben!

LYDIA: That is not its MO.

BEN: No, it’s not, unfortunately.

LYDIA: (laughing weakly) That is the opposite of its MO.

BRYN: Our chief weapons are surprise, a really big fireball, a paladin on a camel—

[Everyone laughs and claps]

ALEX: Thank you!

LYDIA: And loads of hitpoints!

BEN: Ah, loads—so many hitpoints.

BRYN: (simult) Obviously loads of hitpoints.

BEN: And I’ve given you all some more loads of hitpoints, so, you know.

LYDIA: Yeah.

LYDIA: I, at least, am excited about the fact that—like, so Cel now has a hundred and twelve hitpoints! It’s a lot!

HELEN: Oooh!

BEN: (simult) Nice.

LYDIA: That’s loads!

BRYN: Loads of hitpoints.

BEN: (simult) That is loads.

HELEN: (simult) That’s more than me!

[Lydia makes an appreciative noise]

BEN: Yeah, I’ve got a hundred and eleven hitpoints.

[Lydia makes a louder appreciative noise]

ALEX: I think you’re nearing the point where you could just jump off the roof and do a superhero landing without powers and survive?

BEN: (hissing) Oooh, uh.

LYDIA: (overlapping) Well, I mean, why would I do that? I’ve got wings.

[Alex chuckles]

ALEX: Plus you got loads of hitpoints, it’s fine.

BRYN: (shrill) Um! That’s not how I would characterize it …

[Helen laughs loudly]

BEN: You got a few.

[Lydia laughs]

BRYN: I’ve got—I’ve got some. I’ve certainly got more … than … before.

BEN: Yeah.

[Alex and Lydia burst out laughing]

BRYN: (simult) So, you know, that’s nice. That’s nice.

ALEX: And on that, let’s, let’s—why don’t we find out, and leave the audience guessing, but, I’m gonna call a bye there.

[Helen laughs]

BEN: (overlapping) Extra hundred and thirty-two hitpoints and he’s still un—ah, ugh—you, you can’t do it with—

[Everyone laughing]

ALEX: Everyone takes a hundred and twenty-two fire damage.

[Ben makes chef’s kiss noise]

ALEX: I’m not—like, I honest-to-god rolled it, a hundred and twenty-two, with a hundred and twenty just—bwoop!

BEN: And do you know what that means? It means Topaz takes one damage, and I take three.

[Everyone bursts out laughing, Lydia screeches and Alex wheezes]

BEN: I got loads of hitpoints!

HELEN: (simult) Ohhh.

LYDIA: Listeners, listeners, listeners, seriously—there were, while the dice were rolling, so many heart-felt conversation about like—you know, if the characters die, but we still manage to, like, set the device off, then really it’s a good poetic ending—like, there was so much heart-felt, like, “it’s fine, I can lose these characters, you know, and—and it’ll be okay, it will be okay,” and it’s like … ding!

[Helen giggles gleefully]

BEN: And, Alex, can I just—I, just to let you know, I still have nine temporary health. So I’m still over healed—

ALEX: (overlapping) Hey, that’s fine!

BEN: (simult) Okay.

ALEX: I can do this all day.

[Lydia laughs]

BEN: That’s fine. I don’t care.

HELEN: (simult) That’s the problem.

BEN: I’m standing up against the universe here, I’m proud of myself! You can’t take that away from me.

HELEN: I’m proud of you, too.

ALEX: Here we go. (laughs) Entertain yourselves as I roll my billion dice.

[Ben and Helen laugh]

ALEX: Hundred and sixteen, halved.

BRYN: (shrill) Alright. Alright, okay, that’s—that’s fine.

[Alex makes a dragonfire noise]

ALEX: Just—your world goes white.

BRYN: Hamid takes … fifty-eight fire damage.

BEN: It’s fine, you’ve got loads of temporary hitpoints.

[Bryn laughs]

HELEN: Ah. Just don’t get hit again.

LYDIA: (simult) Like—Hamid coughs more damage than that.

ALEX: (simult) You have been in the mid—congratulations, not many players sit in the middle of a dragon’s fire breath and go, “this is exactly where I want to be.”

ALEX: Azu, please give me a reflex save.

HELEN: Oh, b*****ks, sh****ng, f*ck.

[Alex and Lydia laugh, both very high-pitched]

BEN: Helen, you’ve got loads of hitpoints.

[Helen and Lydia laugh]

ALEX: Got loads of hitpoints.

LYDIA: (simult) So many.

HELEN: (simult) Yeah but it’s a clock, it’s sharp!

[Lydia laughs]

ALEX: And on fire!

BEN: Loads of hitpoints.

HELEN: No!

LYDIA: It’s fall damage that’s the scary thing.

Bryn: Yeah.

ALEX: (overlapping) Time gets us all in the end, Helen.

BEN: Wah, wah.

ALEX: Innumerable amounts are swarming upon him, he is still fighting, but it’s not going well.

BEN: That’s fine, he’s got loads of hitpoints, it’ll take the mob twenty seconds to kill him and that’s all we need.

[Alex and Bryn laugh]

ALEX: Ben is cold. I like it, but is cold.

BEN: Canonically don’t like the meritocrats anymore, so … f*ck him!

[Helen laughs]

[Alex laughing]

BEN: Yeah, I think, I think technically if we’re both reduced to zero hitpoints we’re gonna try and take hitpoints from each other, and then it just won’t work, but basically I’m thinking, I will probably have hitpoints, more than—

LYDIA: (overlapping) You’ve got loads of them.

BEN: Yeah I got loads of hitpoints, Babbage probably has less.

ALEX: (simult) I’m going to be interested to see how that interacts with sanctuary if it all goes off.

BRYN: Is—is Zolf technically just unconscious, rather than dead?

BEN: I’m on minus three hitpoints. I have loads of hitpoints.

BRYN: Yeah. Although the falling damage might be enough to …

[Ben heaves out a breath]

ALEX: Into the flaming pit of hell—

BEN AND BRYN: (simult) Yeah.

ALEX: (simult) During a large, bright explosion, yeah.

HELEN: Oh.

LYDIA: (simult) No …

ALEX: (simult) In which case … I’ll see you all next week.

ALL: Bye!

[RQG outro music plays, then fades out]

#towga #rqg #rqgaming #rqg audio #rusty quill gaming #rusty quill gaming audio #my audio #loads of hitpoints #the ones who got away #ben meredith #helen gould #alex newall #lydia nicholas #bryn monroe #zolf smith #grizzop drik acht amsterdam #rqg zine #rqg fan project

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