Tumgik
#u cannot tell me that ethan actually did something bad
Text
alcina dimitrescu KILLS her maids and drinks their blood
karl heisenberg tried to use a BABY as a weapon
ethan winters is WHITE
mother miranda tries to STEAL someones daughter
at the end of the day, your favorite resident evil 8 characters are terrible people
2K notes · View notes
chilapis · 9 days
Note
hi almandine ! i hope ur having a wonderful day ; are u taking breaks and eating well ? idk if the semesters are as long as they are for me bc i know we live in different places, but i wish u so much good luck for ur studies as the end of the academic year approaches 🫶 i wanted to ask, what kind of person is leon? what does he do, whats the world he lives in like, and how do u see him thru ur eyes? my only exposure to him is through .. online mods and gifs ive seen of him go viral, u probably know the ones LOL, but i wanted to learn abt him from u if thats okay 🫶 (@dmclr)
Our semester has pretty much come to its conclusion — my first final is in…. 18 days? Just a little over two weeks, which is a terrifying thought. I’ve been trying to see to my needs and give myself a break and here though! <3 I just hope you’ve been taking care of yourself the same way? Please don’t let yourself drown in academic or other stressors, and know that with as strong as you are, you can overcome anything.
The online mods…. Yeah, I’ve. seen a couple. They’re, something certainly. (My reaction to that information v)
Tumblr media
What does he do? Well, he was a cop— just started his job, actually (like one day? literally one day? It was the first day?), but then pretty much got hired by The President and got employment as a government agent for the United States. Fun.
The Resident Evil world is… interesting? Kind of like if, “fuck around and find out” and, “instead of asking if you can, ask if you should” combined. There’s biological weapons running rampant, including dogs, literal zombies (but we don’t call them zombies, no), and uh…. Huge grey men?
Tumblr media
Say hi to him. He will not die. You cannot kill him. You cannot kill anything in this stupid universe actually. My favourite Resident Evil game, Resident Evil 7 (which… ironically doesn’t have Leon in it) literally features this one stupid fucking Southern family (whom I love so sweetly) and the father, Jack Baker, just will. Not. Die. You know how in games you get to experience different boss battles? Yes, well, I don’t remember how many boss battles are in RE7, but I will tell you this: 3 of them belong to Mr. Baker ENTIRELY. He just mutates worse and worse and you keep thinking he is dead but he is NOT. You kill his wife and she dies but no, he just won’t fucking die. And then you buy the DLC and you play as the big, strong, veteran uncle who just PUNCHES THINGS INSTEAD OF USING WEAPONS AND IT SOMEHOW FUCKING WORKS and guess who the big bad is! You’ll never guess! You’ll never figure it out! That’s right! It’s Jack Fucking Baker for the fourth god damn time and now he looks even more disgusting and corrupted. Although the game did not include Leon (it held Ethan Winters, a darling father), it’s still set in the same universe so I feel like you can get a pretty good… idea from all of that, yes? Remember ! Nothing. Dies. If you think it’s dead, it is not, it is simply now More aware of your existence.
Now, onto the actual man himself.
Tumblr media
First of all? Not related to my view on him but he’s was… kind of misogyny-coded in the original Resident Evil 4 and that makes me giggle a little but I still somehow prefer that RE4 to the 2023 Remake. I know I reblog gifs of the remake a lot and that is simply because, I mean, who doesn’t enjoy experiencing their silly guy with better graphic quality, right? But I don’t like the alterations they did to certain scenes and dialogues. Also he looked like this in the original re4 which scares me more than the undying mutated abominations so, I. Well.
Tumblr media
(^ NOT RELATED TO THE MISOGYNY HE WAS SUFFERING FROM DISEASE HE WAS ILL)
Okay, okay, anyway…. I HATE how the fandom views him, it stresses me out. They view him as this demanding, super serious, violent, brooding man who just wants a stupid, ditzy, useless girlfriend he can dominate, control and be a creep towards but that’s… not him? Like, how do you mess up so bad. This isn’t a particular part of the fandom as much almost the majority of it, sadly.
I feel like he’d, if anything, be a “wife guy”; he has a stressful job, he is traumatised beyond belief, he looks death in the eyes on a regular basis, he lost his parents when he was young, he has went through a-lot. And yet he’s so gentle, he still believes in saving everyone. He still believes in humanity and has this hope in him. He is still… soft. I don’t think he’d be a controlling or aggressive partner; I think he just wants something comforting to come back to, and he’d be SO grateful to have a partner who sticks by him through thick or thin, he’d be so genuinely giddy while taking about them. He lost his parents for fuck’s sake and got stuck in this godforsaken infected world when he was just 21… he wants home, I think more than anything he wants to come back to a place where he doesn’t have to think, where things can be handled for him and all he has to do is let himself be loved. Praised and acknowledged for once in his (somewhat miserable, let’s be honest) life. I mentioned, while answering Lucy’s ask, that I view him as a guard dog, and I think that’s perfect for him. He exists to protect — he has dedicated himself to that protection, to offering that canopy. His aggression is never on the offence, it has never been; not once, but it is done as a protective measure. If the years have reduced Ajax to a sword then they have reduced Leon to a shield. He just wants his efforts acknowledged — he just wants praise and warmth and comfort — and yet are they ever? At-least, to the degree they deserve? He falls into a depressive state in Resident Evil: Vendetta and it stings. He is such a simple man and I genuinely believe domesticity could fix him. He has never known what it’s like to feel safe — why would anyone want to force him to be a protector even in his partnership, even in intimacy? Let him relax for fuck’s sake. Let him. know what it’s like to be on the other end for once in his life. Comfortable clothes, hand holding on a warm cup of tea rather than a gun or a knife. No news channels and no social media or nothing. Phone on DND. I do not care if the USA burns to the ground, I want him to rest his head on my shoulder and finally get the sleep he hasn’t had in years. Civilian lives can wait a few hours to be saved.
6 notes · View notes
urlocalbunny · 3 years
Note
Hey, sweetie! I hope u'r doing good! I have a request for boys: About reader crying because he/she didn't pass the access for a job or university and it was his/her dream.
Recently I was rejected for the place in university and I didn't have anyone to cry with xD. Thank u! Have a nice day <3
Awww. Anonie, I've been in the same place as you and I really wished there was anyone there to comfort me, so just know that this isn't over yet and you can pick it up from where you left off if your situation allows you. You're not less smart and this year has been terrible for all of us, so try again and start quick so that you can work very thoroughly. I'm rooting for you and I hope I can make a request of an MC who got accepted in the future for you! You and all my readers mean a lot to me :3.
Aaron:
Honestly, he looks like the type to say "fuck school" and insist on making you feel better. Seeing your frustration makes him cry too.
He'll hold you close and whisper words of comfort and remind you that you did your best and no one can take that away from you, and that's still not your last chance.
He will listen to you and ask you if you're doing alright in case you decide to study again. He will also try to take some small tasks out of your way so you can get back in shape and decide what to do.
He will support you. No matter what in the world happens, he's your other half and he won't let you fall off.
Raphael:
He will be sad and angry at the same time. How can education be so hard and cold on students like this? That's despicable!
He will give you advice and try to help you as much as he can while you're sad. He will dry your tears but if you pay attention, his blindfold is creating small wet spots.
When he sees you being more lively and active, he will try to help you study in case you want to try again. Whether it is literature or grammar, while you cover the new rules, he will help you with the main stuff so that you can make a better exam.
He won't push you back into uni if you don't want to. You can study at home with him and try again later if you wish to.
Beliath:
If he could he would demolish the corporate building, but he's going to stay calm because he still needs to learn how to operate a wrecking ball.
You had good references and you made a great interview, but they decided to hire other person with less performance because they came from a wealthy people's university that you couldn't afford even if you also had a good degree and better grades.
He will dry your tears and get you something to drink while you both talk. He listens mostly and gives some of his usual motivational talk if you bring yourself down.
You'll realize how much you actually believe in that crap and take your time to think about what you want. If you're too nervous, he will give some tips on how he talks people into things and while you're slightly concerned, you learn a lot.
If you're willing to take a break from interviews to figure yourself out, he will make it the best break possible. You won't go a week without proper skin and hair care.
Vladimir:
"What do you mean they did not accept you?
He will be baffled by how a small company such as this made such a mistake. You're an incredible professional and if it was before in his time, he would definitely want you on his team.
You had a good way with words and you were capable, what in the world were they looking for then? He didn't realize he was saying it all out loud with the most exasperated tone possible until you broke down laughing.
"They said i don't have enough experience." "Well, let me tell them something about experience, they can shove that up their..." "Vladimir!!" "This is it. I will send Beliath everywhere to help you spread your profile around. He was happy to see you trying to get a job again, he will help you out. We will go over your skills again because you cannot be seriously defeated with some simple and stupid company. My mother is dead and she is a better boss than that."
(you get another job quick fast, believe me.)
Ethan:
He thinks it's very stupid of the university to have such evaluation system that makes students feel so pressured. He will be even more surprised to see you simply broke down. You're so much more than that.
He will get into your skull that you MUST see yourself in other places and trust that you're smart even if you didn't pass. That's not what defines you.
He will scold you because you're not seeing your own worth and he will urge you into trying again with his help this time. He doesn't want you to do it alone, but you have to look for education and he knows how much this means to you.
If he sees you're breaking down though, he will ask you to stop. He doesn't want you to lose everything you've built because you're in a bad place mentally.
Ivan:
He probably got rejected in job interviews once too. He tells you to not give up on your job and try again because your only mistake was being late and that made you nervous.
He will go over anything you need with you and he will give you some comfort, respecting your limits and cuddling you when your thoughts get hard to handle on your own.
He will help you spread your resume copies sneakily everywhere. He won't stay quiet in one place if you tell him you decided to try for a job again, EVER. He won't stop helping until you've found a place for yourself. And he's proud of you no matter the outcomes.
31 notes · View notes
arincalz · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
⌠ ETHAN CUTKOSKY, 20, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ARIN CALLISTER! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in ADVANCED ENCRYPTION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of shaggy unkempt hair, the glow of LED case lights in bi pride colors, late night thunderstorms and the first skate on fresh ice. when it’s the (scorpio)’s birthday on 11/03/1999, they always request their CHICKEN STRIPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.  / @gallagherintro​
will i ever write a coherent bio for a character instead of just copy/pasting my brain dump notes ? maybe. someday. probably not but if u think these are bad u should see my indie :))))
        he wishes he had a cooler story for why he started hacking and coding, and often when he's asked he'll make something up on the spot. but if you press enough, he'll admit to wanting more coins in club penguin when he was eight and than wondering how those exploits worked.         pretty quickly he discovered whole communities online for hacking other games and even whole websites and he became fascinated. it would be a few years before he'd actually be able to participate in these communities (mom said no), but even as a kid he would lurk the forums for tips and new scripts to test out and tinker with. it was basic script kiddie stuff, but it was a start.         that summer when it was time to pick a day camp he'd ask his mom to find a coding camp for him to try. his mom had to pull some strings to get him in, and he was a few years younger than the rest of the class, but that wouldn't keep arin from constantly showing them up. he'd keep going to coding camp every summer for the next few years - and in the meantime, the forums and his own tinkering kept him sharp and learning new things.         in middle school he discovered bug bounties, where companies pay hackers to report on security flaws in their systems. this gave him something to do besides hack and mod video games - which was still fun, but wasn't going to make him any money - and something to actively work towards. he started small, looking for vulnerabilities in his school's system and informing them by leaving little notes for the administrators telling them how he did it and how he thought it could be fixed. he didn't get anything out of that, but it taught him what he needed to slowly work his way up to bigger and better things. and after about a year or so he was supplementing his allowance of his little side hustle.
        the bounties got more substantial in high school as he worked his way into bigger and tougher systems. by now he was active in the online communities, and took a certain amount of pride in being "the kid" in a few of them. in hindsight, that's probably how he got the attention of blackthorne academy in the first place.         the move to gallagher after a year at blackthorne was a more than welcome one. he didn't do great in that sort of environment, though his fighting skills from years of playing hockey helped him keep his head above water. still hated the place, though.
and now for some fun bonus personality stuff:
he and devon go way back to when they were smol babies at their separate day camps that happened to cross paths enough for them to make friends. just how often he participated in [gregg from nitw voice] crimes is tbd but let it be known he has used his powers for evil
likes solving his problems with his fists, but he went the whole last semester without punching anyone, and you know what we call that ? growth. (the summer doesn't count, shhh, that asshole at the bar in berlin had it coming and his nose looks better crooked anyway, shhhhhhhhh)
this boy has uniform violations for days and like, some of it is because he thinks the rules are stupid but some of it he just genuinely forgets. even though this is his second year at gallagher just he has not learned the dress code. 
computer smart, but otherwise ?? no thoughts, head empty
dyslexic, cannot read, will cry if you ask him to try and read something smaller than like 14px or in a font that isn't a basic mono or serif
has snails named snurcules, spork, escargobi-wan kenobi and p sherman 42 wallaby way sydney (sherman for short) because none of my characters can have normal pets. ( look how cute tho )
i mentioned it in passing in the bio but he used to play hockey as a kid and in high school and he's pretty good but that’s also where he first learned how to fight
speaking of hockey i don’t actually have a good reason for him to be a capitols fan so as much as it pains me i am reluctantly making him a devils fan which in its own way... is very fitting
he also probably whines a lot about not being able to just ~go skate~ whenever he wants to, please help him find some other hobbies, get him a skateboard maybe
honestly probably runs a gallagher minecraft server and if you piss him off he'll blow up your house, free your chickens and dye all your sheep pink
4 notes · View notes
bumblebwiii · 4 years
Text
solicitude ;; yang jeongin
a very short story that i made a few months back starring yang jeongin of stray kids.
Tumblr media
genre: highschool bully!au // angst, teen fiction, romance
short summary: a story of a girl who has a medical condition and a boy who constantly teases her.
warning: contains cursing, mention of atelophobia, panic/anxiety attacks of the main character
a/n: hi this is my first time publishing a story here so please bear with me if this sucks >_<
****
The school bell rang, signaling the students and other school personnel that it was break time--a time where most people anticipated for. Students fled from their classrooms down to the hallways and spread all over the school's cafeteria wherein they placed themselves on the seats of the tables and exchanged various conversations as they enjoyed their meals.
Break time was supposed to be fun and stress-free, but for Phoebe, it actually wasn't. She quietly stood in front of the large bulletin board in the grand lobby wherein the top students' names were displayed there. Exam week was over and she clearly was devastated because of her personal problems that were being topped off by numerous paper works and school stuff that she almost cannot handle.
School was stressful, of course, and it became more stressful for her because she didn't study well for the exams. But Phoebe did not give up and started to like studying because she saw the outcomes of her hard work and she was really determined to finish college and make it out into the real world, alive.
Unfortunately, a horrendous-looking creature named Ethan Yang, started messing up her life as she set foot into this particular institution, and she wished she'd never been born.
Speaking of the devil, the young boy suddenly popped beside her with a wide grin on his face. His eyes formed into lines and his baby blue braces became visible as he mockingly smiled, and he immediately fixed his composure, up for a talk. "So, we're here looking for our ranks, eh? Have you forgotten that only the top three will get a scholarship to study at JYP university? Eh, too bad, 'cause I'm number one, and you're rank four." Ethan mocked her, a sheepish grin plastered on his face, whilst an annoyed one on Phoebe's.
"Go away, Ethan Yang." Phoebe simply said and started to walk away from him. "Oh, that's so harsh, Phoebe-ssi. Why so rude? You're hurting my heart." Ethan said and made a small act in front of her, clutching his chest and acting hurt as if she broke her heart.
"Yeah, whatever. As if you have a heart, you mean creature." she stated and rolled her eyes as she picked up her pace, dashing into her classroom. Ethan was clearly offended by the looks of him being shocked at what the lass had said. He was also about to shout at the girl but he was suddenly cut by the school bell and his friends who came out of nowhere and started to play with him like a bunch of dorks.
***
Dismissals finally came and Phoebe was very relieved because she can finally go home after a long and stressful subject. Whilst packing her things, she heard a knock on the window so she looked up to see the boy who made her school life feel like hell. "What's your problem?" she mouthed to Ethan, while the boy was standing there like an innocent baby boy who lost his mom. Phoebe hurriedly packed her things and slung her backpack over her shoulder while making her way towards the door. She came face to face with Ethan and she thought that the young boy was really good looking. If only he was nicer, I would've liked him. She brushed off the thought and raised and eyebrow at him. "What's up with you?" she asked. "I've got something to tell you--"
"Phoebe-sshi!" a deep voice interrupted what Ethan was about to say and all of a sudden, she felt strong and muscular arms envelop her shoulders. "Felix!" she enthusiastically acknowledged his presence as Felix placed his head on her shoulder. Phoebe completely ignored Ethan and turned around to face her friend who has genuinely smiling from ear to ear. "Here's ya ramen." Felix stated with his cute Australian accent, as he handed her a bundle that was obviously filled with packs of ramen inside. "Thank you." she thanked him by kissing his cheek and linked their arms together. "You're welcome. Oh, I see you have company. Hello, Ethan-ssi!" Felix gave Ethan a friendly wave, and the latter just nodded in response. "Let's go home, Felix." Phoebe looked at the Australian boy with so much desperation but Felix did not want to leave Ethan just yet. "Hey, Ethan. Weren't you supposed to say something to Phoe--" and Felix was cut off by the hand of Phoebe that was placed on top of his mouth as she dragged him away from Ethan.
***
There wasn't a day wherein Ethan would suddenly be nice to Phoebe and help her with some difficulties she is facing. It always ended up in endless banters and with Phoebe landing her fist onto Ethan's arm as she got annoyed with him every minute. And things didn't turn out pretty well especially when they're paired to each other for some partner works.
It was lunch time and Phoebe decided to walk around the hallways, as she had finished her meal two minutes ago. She strolled down the hallways and unbeknownst to her, Phoebe's feet led her to the front of the music room. She didn't know why her feet brought her there, but she heard the calming tune of the piano inside, accompanied by a sweet voice that was associated to a lullaby.  "I remember years ago, someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, I did." The voice was of a male, and it sounded precious--like an angel's. It was quite familiar though, but Phoebe did not pay attention to who it was and just quietly listened and appreciated the mixture of the voice and the organ playing.
"Impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible..." Phoebe couldn't help but make a round of applause as soon as the singer finished his piece and continuously cheered for him as she went inside; but she was shocked to see who was inside the music room, singing all along.
It was Ethan. Ethan Yang. She thought. He can sing well?
Phoebe was so overwhelmed of what she had just witnessed and she could not explain what she would feel but she felt her lips curve up to form a smile as she looked at Ethan who gulped at the sight of her and his lips formed into a thin line.
"Ethan, I didn't know you have a side like this. I didn't know that you could sing so well! Why don't you--" Phoebe wanted to say a lot to praise him but Ethan hurriedly packed his things and dashed out of the music room, leaving her behind with no words which made the lass confused.
Phoebe tried to follow him but he suddenly disappeared and he was nowhere to be found after that. So, she just went to stroll again at the hallways since there are still forty minutes 'til lunch ends. She went to the other building and looked around her surroundings, when she suddenly felt a pain in her chest and she was trembling and having a shortness of breath. She did not want the other students who are roaming around know what is happening to her, so she just went to a nearby, secluded place to hide--the janitor's closet.
She tried to suppress her breath inside there and did what the doctor told her to do when she is having an attack but unfortunately, it seemingly became worse because her spot was secluded and a pang of sudden overwhelming fear hit her that only made her situation become worse. She could feel that her knees were getting jelly-like and her breathing became difficult, when all of a sudden, the door swung open and it revealed the boy who had baby blue braces. Of course, it was none other than Ethan Yang. But it did not matter who it is anymore because Phoebe collapsed in Ethan's arms as she clutched her chest, trying to fight the pain as she trembled in fear.
"D-don't hurt me. Please," she begged and closed her eyes tight, and tears started to stream down her face. It was evident that she was having a hard time. So, in order to calm her down, Ethan sat down on the floor with Phoebe in his arms and he placed his arm over her shoulder and the other one on her torso, supporting her. "Shh. I won't hurt you." he calmed the lass and wiped her tears away, and made his fingers ran into her hair as she held her tight, making sure she is secure. Ethan tried to do his best and sang a sweet song for her, keeping her calm and lulling her to sleep.
The both of them stayed in that position for almost thirty minutes until Phoebe woke up and felt that she had regained her energy as she removed her head that was leaning on Ethan's chest. The both of them exchanged awkward glances and instantly became shy as they pulled away from each other. "You're the first person in this school who knew about this. Ugh, why does it have to be you?" Phoebe started to bring up a rude conversation, and she was trying to talk to Ethan like how she used to talk to him--tough and a little authoritative; but Ethan didn't budge. "And you're the first person in this school  who knew that I could sing." he uttered in a soft voice, one that was very different when he usually talked to Phoebe in their endless banters. "R-really?" Phoebe couldn't help but get confused at what the lad had said. "I'm the first? Hah, that's impossible. You're lying." she tried to make it a laughing matter, but judging from the look of Ethan's face, he was dead serious and she saw a hint of devastation in it.
He was about to say something else but was cut off by Phoebe again. "Just pretend this didn't happen, okay? I did not collapse, I did not ran out of breath, I did not have an anxiety attack, and I'm completely fine. Just do me a favor, and I will not spread your secret. Deal?" she explained to him and extended her hand out in which he only looked at.
"Okay, so, silence means yes. Go away, Ethan. We're done here."
***
Pit-a-pat. It was a Saturday morning and the continuous downpour of the rain through the windows accompanied by the roaring thunder, made Phoebe curl up into a ball and pull the comforter over her head. She heavily breathed in and out, fighting the tears that are pooling in her eyes and are threatening to come down. Its another episode of one of her anxiety attacks that had frequently been occurring lately. She grasped onto the fabric of her comforter tightly and let out an exasperated sigh as she tried to comfort herself through remembering the act of kindness Ethan did when he caught her attack. Soon, she felt a wave of relief and she composed herself.
She silently thanked Ethan and smiled at herself, as she did her morning routine and took a bath. She was going to go to her psychiatrist--on a rainy day--because her attacks were so continuous and she knew something had to be done with the help of her doctor.
After getting all fixed, she grabbed her jacket and her umbrella and immediately called a taxi so she can get there immediately. It was not long until she arrived, and Doctor Clarisse was patiently waiting for her in her office. "Good morning, Phoebe. It's good to see you again." the middle-aged lady greeted the young lass.
"Good morning, Doctor Clarisse. It's good to see you too." she replied with a smile. "Oh, have you seen my son? Bean worm, come here!" she called out for her son and she turned to look at her patient with a smile. "It has been a while since he stayed here to help and I want you to meet him. He's a really nice guy." Doctor Clarisse gave her an assuring wink and Phoebe just chuckled, waiting for the doctor's son whom she thinks she'll get along with.
"Do you need something, mommy?" a familiar voice asked and Phoebe's eyes shot up from her hands on her lap to the boy who was standing by the door and her mouth immediately formed an 'o'. "Oh, there you are, bean worm! Aigoo, you're playing video games again and your hair is a mess! Fix your hair and greet our lovely patient." Doctor Clarisse told Ethan and she helped him fix his hair. He immediately became shy after looking at Phoebe and placed his video game controller down and then bowed in front of her. "It's good to see you again, rank four." the lad greeted and sheepishly grinned, one factor that seemed to annoy the hell out of Phoebe.
"Oh," Doctor Clarisse butted in. "You two know each other?" she asked.
"No." / "Yes."
"It's a yes, mommy. She's my classmate." Ethan explained and Phoebe completely lost as she threw her hands in the air in defeat. "Okay, fine. We know each other and yes, he is my classmate, but in different subjects." she also explained so that Doctor Clarisse would understand.
"Okay, then. You could go back to your games now, Ethan. Phoebe and I still have a lot to discuss regarding her medical condition." Doctor Clarisse dismissed her son, but unknowingly, Ethan took a seat and stayed with them. "I want to listen and know." he said and his grin awhile ago disappeared and was replaced by a serious one. Doctor Clarisse just nodded and Phoebe had no choice but to just stick to it.
If Ethan is my psychiatrist's son, then I'll be stuck with him until I get better. And just having the thought of that makes me have a headache. She thought.
***
"I really thought I could stay away from you because of our deal, but it seems like fate is bringing us more closer and I hate it." Phoebe said to him. "Don't you want that? I get to be your guardian angel or your hero who will save you all the time." he replied with a wink, and Phoebe swore if looks could kill, he'd be buried at least ten feet on the ground by now. "If I would have a hero or a guardian angel, I want it to be Felix or Han, not you." she replied with an evil grin and he frowned at her answer. "Do you have a crush on those two?" he asked. "Only Han. Felix is my friend, hehe. Do you think I have a chance with Han?" she asked but the lad just hummed in response and shrugged.
"We're here. I'm home. Bye." she simply said to him and the taxi parked in front of her house and they both hopped off the vehicle. She was about to go inside of her home but Ethan quickly took her hand in his. "Let me help you with what you're going through, Phoebe." he said, with concern painted all over his face. Her throat suddenly became dry and she wasn't able to speak anymore. She just blushed and looked at her feet when Ethan took a step forward and removed his scarf that was covering his neck and covered her bare neck instead, wrapping the scarf around hers. He then planted a soft kiss on her forehead, indicating that he respects her and that he is willing to keep her safe.
They both waved goodbye at each other and Ethan hopped in the taxi that was patiently waiting for him as Phoebe got inside of her house, smiling.
***
The next few days turned out pretty well for Ethan and Phoebe. A new friendship was formed between them and their bond was so strong that their arguments before turned into playful chit-chats today. The both of them were happy that they had this kind of progress and he even decided to take her out on the park, where they will feed and hang out with a bunch of sweet Golden Retrievers who are very playful and friendly.
"I'm already here, Ethan. Where are you?" Phoebe asked him on the phone and the voice on the other line says, "I'm over here near the fountain. Come quick! The dogs are here." he said and she immediately spotted him. He was waving at her and he was sitting on a bench while patting a dog's head.
"Come, sit." he patted the space next to him and Phoebe followed him. "You gotta feel honored, because I was so close to let this doggy sit there and take your spot, and you're the one who's going to sit here on the grass." he chuckled and Phoebe smacked his arm playfully as they both laughed together.
"Tell me a story, Phoebe." Ethan said while looking at the dog who was playing with the other dogs on the park. "What kind of story?" she asked and looked at him. "Hmm, anything. About your past or something? I don't know, its up to you." he said. "Hmm, you go first then." she gave him an evil grin in which he slightly panicked at.. "Uhm, what do you want to know?" he asked, nervously and fiddled with his hands. "I don't know? Can I know your story because of your singing?" she asked and she now gave her full attention to Ethan. "Uhm, okay. You can ask questions."
"Okay, so, why were you shy all of a sudden when I saw you sing? Was it because you were with a vocal teacher? Are you a beginner at singing?" she asked, very curious. "Ah, no. I'm not a beginner. I've been singing for years now but I can't seem to improve it and make it right. I always have voice cracks, I'm out of tune most of the time, and my braces are a hindrance to my singing and I hate it. I'm not confident in singing my heart out so I become shy when someone hears when I sing. I mean, my hyungs are all good in singing and rapping, and it looks like I'm only fitting in just to look cool with them but I'm not. I became friends with them because I idolize their skills in singing, dancing, and rapping and I wanna be like someone like them someday." he explained and she swore she noticed a hint of sadness and disappointment in his eyes. She just nodded, analyzing every word he says and understood them.
She told him to go on and he said that he has atelophobia, the fear of not being good enough. He told her that he feels he is not good enough when he is singing and that he over thinks about it too much, that it has become dangerous for him. He stresses about it too much to the point wherein he got depressed just by hearing his singing voice and fearing he might not be able to pass the standards of JYP University if he keeps up that kind of singing. He is the reason why Doctor Clarisse gave up on her previous job and became a psychiatrist instead.
But, Phoebe proved him otherwise. She told him he was wrong. She told him that he was really good at singing and she was very sincere and careful with her words. She wanted to make him feel happy regarding his singing and she even complimented him that his voice sounds like of an angel and it is unique and that he is going to pass JYPU.
"Thank you so much, Phoebe. Your words helped me a lot." he gave her a smile and she gave him a hug in which he returned. "Now, let's go back to you. I have a few questions."
"Go on." Phoebe replied with a soft smile. Ethan took a deep breath and looked at his hands while playing with them before asking her. "What is the root cause of your anxiety attacks and when did it begin?" he asked carefully and calmly, trying not to startle Phoebe for it might trigger her memories.
Phoebe took a sharp breath and composed herself as she sat up straight and comfortably, looking at Ethan intently. "It all started when I was six years old. It was raining and thunderclouds were visible in the night sky and I was playing with my Barbies in my room, when I heard my parents were yelling at each other downstairs about their financial problems. I carefully went down to witness the whole thing and tried to prevent them both from hurting each other, but their anger was passed on to me especially my father's. He lunged at me, and tried to hit me, but my mother rushed to come at my side and my dad's fist was landed onto her face, instead of mine." she explained and huffed.
"In fear, I started to run towards the door and onto the busy highway, just to escape from them. I was running and running while looking at them--my mom trying to chase me while screaming out my name, and my dad who hastily pulled her hair as he yelled curse word at her. My mom was able to break free from his grasp, and that is when I realized that I was already on the main road and I heard the loud horn of a truck passing by and its headlights continuously flickering. It seemed like the world stopped for a moment and I was completely paralyzed at my spot, like a tiny creature getting ready to be devoured by a humongous beast. The approaching vehicle was getting closer and closer, and I just closed my eyes and waited for its heavy metal to make contact with my skin, along with the falling debris. But everything happened so fast that I wasn't able to comprehend what happened and I..I just felt that someone grabbed me by the shoulder and as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw her on the concrete pavement, blood pooling at the back of her head and her mouth and her eyes were widened in shock." she continued and couldn't help but tear up at her own story.
"I couldn't remember anything else that happened that night because I collapsed on the ground and I just woke up and found myself in a hospital bed. The doctors immediately went into my ward and checked on me as I interrogated them about my mom. They told me she was dead, Ethan. Dead on arrival. She didn't make it alive and "it was all your fault!", my father would say. I remember that he disowned and abused me for the following years and he blamed me for everything bad that had happened in his life. It was a good thing that I had managed to escape from him when I was thirteen, though; because he suddenly got addicted to drugs and drinking a lot. Since then, I got so afraid when it rains and it is accompanied by thunderclouds." she explained and huffed out a sigh. He gave her a sad smile and a warm embrace, reassuring her that he was there for her and he will help her overcome her fears.
Just then, a thought came up on his mind and as he pulled away from the embrace, he told her to just sit down and wait for him. Phoebe just nodded and he stood up from his seat, leaving her on the bench quietly as she fiddled with her hands together.
Ethan arrived shortly in a few minutes with two plastic bags in his hands. Inside of the first one was a fluffy ball that was colored blue and the other was in baby pink. Cotton candy. She thought and smiled as Ethan handed over the pink one to her.
"Cotton candies always makes me feel better when I'm sad. Pizza and ice creams are way too overrated." he said and they both chuckled, his baby blue braces becoming visible and somehow, Phoebe found it very cute. "Thank you." she replied and started to eat the cotton candy, feeling the pink fluffy ball melt in her mouth.
She felt quite relieved because of the sweetness of the candy and Ethan's company. They both sat on the bench and ate their cotton candies quietly, letting themselves enjoy the treat.
As soon as they finished it, they threw the plastics on a nearby trashcan and they decided to stroll around the park. It was 5:35PM and the sun was setting as Ethan cleared his throat and looked at Phoebe intently. "Hey," he called out and Phoebe looked at him. She looked lovely that day, wearing a cute top and a skirt with her hair tied up into a neat ponytail. "Hmm?" she hummed while kicking the small rocks that blocked their pathway. He looked at her lovingly, and he felt his throat become dry momentarily.
"I-I..have something to tell you." he started and he felt his hands sweat. "What is it?" she asked and faced him, clearly interested. "I-I.."
"You like me?" she cut him off and he was so surprised to hear what she had said because it was true. He ran out of words and it felt like the world was seeing him completely naked with their eyes. He became so flustered and shy and he started to panic, but she held his shaking hands and made eye contact with him.
"Oh, no, no, no. That's too cliche, love. Instead of i like you, you could have said I purple you. It is indeed much better and it has a greater meaning than a simple I like you. Purple is the last color of the rainbow, so it means I will trust you and love you for a long time." she explained to him and he somewhat felt enlightened by the meaning of it. It was beautiful, and it was exactly the term he was looking for and what he wished to let her know.
"I purple you, Phoebe Kim." he said and smiled. "I purple you too, Ethan Yang."
***
Snow continuously falling, children caroling from house to house, and the usual happy vibe that you get on the evening of the 24th of December were evident on everybody's faces. Unfortunately, Phoebe was not as giddy and happy as everyone. She still misses her family and it has been years since she celebrated Christmas Eve with them. It was fun--filled with love, joy, and peace--and she loved every bit of it. But now, she has no one to celebrate it with. Her mother is all the way up there, her father is spending it in jail and probably doesn't want to be bothered, Felix is in Australia with his family, and Ethan is celebrating it with his family and she didn't want to interrupt him anymore.
For her lonely Christmas, she just cooked food for herself. She used the packs of ramen Felix gave, and she lit up candles in remembrance for her mother and prayed silently for her father for him to have good health. She also thanked the superior force above, who constantly gave her strength despite the problems that she faced.
Phoebe started eating her ramen alone, while she played Christmas songs in the background--a usual thing that her parents would do on Christmas Eve. It was 11:57PM and in a few minutes, it would be Christmas; so she immediately finished her bowl and was about to clean it up, when she heard a knock on the door.
It was mysterious, because who would even think of spending time with her on Christmas Eve? But she still answered the door and when she swung it open, she was surprised to see who it was. "E-ethan..." she uttered under her breath, and he gave her a wide smile as he reached out for her hand and pulled her into a bear hug. "Merry Christmas, girlfriend." he greeted her as he glanced at his watch.
"M-merry Christmas, boyfriend." she replied and smiled as she felt a tear fell on her cheek. They both pulled away from each other and she immediately wiped her tears that she didn't notice. Ethan gave her a concerning look. "Are you okay? Are you going crazy, Phoebe? You're crying while smiling! Oh my god, should I be concerned?!" he asked and started to panic but Phoebe held his hand and tiptoed just to kiss his cheek.
"I'm fine, love." she reassured him and he swore that he felt his cheek burn and his heart beat faster by the sensation. Phoebe chuckled at the sight of her boyfriend and led him inside. She told him to sit down on the couch and he immediately followed.
"I thought you're with your family?" she questioned him. "Yeah, but I figured that I should spend it with my girlfriend too because she is also part of the family now." he smiled and reached for her hand and kissed the back of her palm in which she blushed.
The two continued to spend more time together as they binge-watched some movies, ordered food, and cuddled with each other. Until 2:35 came, Phoebe felt it again. The monstrous feeling of her memories and anxieties are coming back again, attacking her and devouring her thoughts as if she was a complete meal.
'I-I..I can't breathe, Ethan." she called out for him, and he immediately supported her, holding her close to his arms and preparing her medications and a glass of water. She could feel her chest pain and she was palpitating again. She was suddenly having hot flushes and having a sense of choking as her whole body trembled in fear and tears were continuously running down her eyes as she uttered the word, "help." It was a good thing Ethan knew what to do so he was able to help Phoebe and calmed her down, holding her hand and saying positive words to her became really effective.
Finally, Phoebe had completely calmed down but she wasn't able to regain her strength from awhile ago. She got weak because of the attack and she was still shaking a little bit. She quietly hid her face in Ethan's chest as he hugged her tight, not letting her go. His hands snaked down to her waist and he gently pulled her into a warm embrace as tears fell down from her eyes, and she clutched her chest from the slight pain. Ethan held her tight and this time, he treated her like a precious gem as he slowly patted her back.
"I'm scared." she mumbled in his chest, still sobbing.
"Don't be. I'm here by your side. We'll fight those demons together." he assured her and she just nodded. "I'm tired." she finally says and heaved a sigh.
"Then go to sleep. I'll stay and I'll look out for you, love." he said and ran his fingers through her hair as he said sweet words to her to make her feel better.
"I'm happier with you, Phoebe, and I like me better when I'm with you," he started and kissed her forehead. "My parents noticed that I have changed so much, and it's all because of you. You changed me and I'm so lucky to have you in my life." then he kissed her nose. "I love you, okay? Even though you over think too much that you might be a burden to me." and then he gave her a peck on the lips.
His words made her so happy that she fell asleep smiling when he started to lull her to sleep by singing her favorite songs.
Enemies are supposed to hate each other, right? But, why does it feel like I'm on cloud nine when I'm with you? He thought as he looked at his girl lovingly.
***
6 notes · View notes
lucarioisinthevoid · 4 years
Note
Dave is in the void and Henry isn’t for 5 a s k s .
(1/5)Oh.Oh, what are you DOING, Anon?You're messing everything up!The lights flickered in the place. Not a rare occurrence, everything was pretty old. Usually Dave just had to get loud for it to happen, so nobody really paid attention to it. After that however it fully went out, much to Mike's frustration. "No fucking worries, I got this." Generator issues ALWAYS sucked and most others felt uneasy in the generator room. Mike wasn't sure why. Sure, the air seemed to be loaded with electro-static, but what about it? It made him feel more awake. Down he went, to give the generator a nice friendly kick. The red lights of the emergency lamps made it all feel so... unreal. One kick didn't do the trick.Wait, did he even kick it before? He couldn't remember right now.Everything become a bit disorientating. No, no. Deep breaths.Just kick it. It'll work again. "Ya could also just push the button." Dave's small voice sounded next to him. "Fuck you Dave." "NO! Fuck YOU!" "FUCK OFF." "PRESS THE BUTTON!" Annoyed with this, he leaned over to press it as instructed, even if every part of him screamed offended, wanting to refuse following orders. The light flickered and this time they all went back on. Looking beside him, he was about to thank Dave- and by thank I mean snarl at him for just sneaking after him- before realizing he was... smaller than usual. Much smaller. Staring up at him with a very confused looking grin, Dave waited a few seconds before coming up with an explanation. "Someone took my body, pls help." "... what?" Stumbling backwards, trying to move slowly to the stairs, he wasn't sure if he heard right. Probably not. "... my body. Somebody took it. I want it back :c" The boy put special emphasize on the colon c at the end. Mike took a breath. "Okay, no, fuck you, die." "I MIGHT!" Tearfully the boy stomped his foot. "THIS AIN’T FUNNY! NOT AT ALL!" Before he knew it, Mike was upstairs again and locking the door. Fuck. Fuck. Just take a chill pill. Promptly doing so, he looked around.Maybe this was why everyone was uneasy going down there. It messes with your head.Mike was just the only one used to things showing up and disappearing again, paying them little mind. The real Dave was probably around here somewhere, right?Disgruntled he decided to look for him, quietly cursing the hallucination that forced him to either do this or feel uneasy for the rest of the day. He called out to Old Sport. "Hey! Have you seen Dave?" "... he was here a minute ago." Looking around confused, the Orange Guy stood up and shook his head. "Sometimes he just disappears. Let's look for him." Eyes wide open, yet it was still dark.The lights must still not be fixed.Okay.Dave decided to go to the generator himself, to see what Mike was doing. He might was having some sort of breakdown, that wasn't too improbable after all. When he took his first step forward, he almost jumped at the bright purple below him. Checking his arms and body, he realized that it WASN'T dark. Or at least, it couldn't be. Otherwise, how would he see himself?Turning on the spot, he tried to see something, ANYTHING around him. This was horrifying."Old Sport?" Calling out loudly, he tried to get SOME sort of response from the world around him.After having called out, he waited for a few seconds, just to slowly feel doubt creep up his spine.Did he actually call out, out loud? Or did he just THINK this very loudly? "OLD SPORT?" No, it didn't sound right. His throat FELT, but his ears seemingly didn't actually hear anything.Cold panic slowly gathered in his chest, weighing him down. This wasn't good, not at all. Slowly he began walking, walking turned into jogging and jogging turned into running.But it didn't feel like he actually moved.Yes, his body was twisting and turning, but-There was no air. He felt nothing moving forward-"H-HELLO!? ANYONE?! C-CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!" Anyone. He MEANT anyone. Breadbear could step out of the darkness and try to maul him and he'd be grateful. "HELLO!?" Suddenly everything felt cold. Unbearably cold.As if every part of him that came in contact with the darkness was beginning to freezing, at the brink of shattering. Fear will only make it worse.Dave screamed. Henry looked at the doors of the restaurant. It was still snowing, and the Pink Guy was CONVINCED it was solely due to his own willpower. Usually it rained down here. ... hm. Could it be...?Another layer of the void? Instead of a pocket dimension?The shadows around him moved, twitching in the distance.But he refused to let that stress him. He was at his own place. What the beast pulled last time would not work a second time.And he was very certain of what would happen when he entered. He needed to be swift. With one last breath, the smell of ice in his nose, he stepped forward and inside, feeling the instant change in the air around him. Welcome home. He smiled.All eyes on him. "I am back." Moving forward, he quickly made it to the middle of the room, ignoring all the staring around him.He belonged here, more than any of them. Standing in front of the stage, he smiled. Well- aside from the animatronics, of course.They looked down at him, their movements becoming more mechanical. Beautiful in its own way. They're freezing up. "You." Henry turned, his smile turning more neutral, worried. "... Mr. Cross." The detective was shaking. "... you! Where- where did you come from?" "I wish I could tell you that, Mr. Cross." Slowly he shook his head. "But I have no idea. Something horrible must have happened. I am back now however, which is already a good sign, would you not agree? What happened in my absence?" The detective was shaking a little. Possibly violent. If he would try to attack him, he’d need to catch him off-guard-Jeremy came rushing up. "Mr. Miller! Hello!" Jumping at him, suddenly Henry found himself in a hug that threw him off for a moment, before he hugged him back. "Hello there, Jeremy." "You know each other?!" Close to hyperventilating. He's no taking it well that he's here. Jeremy nodded quickly. "Yes! We met in a dark- in a weird place once!" Turning to Henry, he was frowning a little. "Mr. Miller, there was actually something I wanted to ask you about. What happened after I agreed to help you? I... can't remember." Ready to come up with a convincing lie, Henry opened his mouth, but then realized he himself basically couldn't remember. Yes, he took the boy's body, but- what then? "I- I do not seem to recall this either." Bad sign. But he went back to smiling. "How peculiar. But I am sure with some time it will come back to us." Like sharks drawn to a drop of blood, the rest had stepped closer now too. Marion looming over the shoulders of Jeremy, staring down at him. It looked hilarious. Something came flying towards his face and he moved in the last second to avoid the glass bottle. Old Sport held another one in his hand, with murder in his eyes. "Where's Dave?" "... I do not know. I was about to ask." Phone Guy prevented the orange employee from throwing another bottle. "... welcome back sir. I thought you were dead." Thought? More like hoped.But Henry would let it slide.Suddenly he turned and signed at the Marionette, making it grab down tighter, cutting through the uniform into the flesh below him. "... I am happy to see you too. My old friend." Jeremy whimpered a little from the pain, causing the animatronic to stop again, regretfully checking over the marks. "... be more careful, please..." "I'm sorry." "You... y-you know what, maybe we should go check on the others. On the kitchen." Worried he took his machine away, knowing how sensitive he was about the colorful people. This must be stressful to the machine. As soon as he was gone, Ethan grabbed Henry by the collar, his voice barely more than a hiss. "What the hell is happening? Where have you been and why are you back? What IS with this place?!" "Well..." Just as quiet he responded. "The working theory is that we are dead and in some sort of purgatory. Which would honestly explain a lot, for example how I could have returned out of nowhere without any memories. You have no memories either on how you arrived here, do you?" Letting go of him, Ethan stumbled backwards. "No- that makes NO sense- no... if I were dead, then- Evelyn would be with me-" "Purgatory does not tend to be the nicest place. You should consider yourself lucky that she is not here... IF she is not here." "No- that would mean I failed-" The man was a MESS.Old Sport, who had listened in, spoke up. "Nonsense! This isn't purgatory! It literally can't be!" Smiling at him, Henry tilted his head in a mockery of an innocent gesture. "Ah? What makes you so sure?" Go on. Tell them what you are. Revel in your shame. Old Sport closed his mouth without a tone leaving him and he looked away. Mike and Phoney had retreated into the distance, looking over, mumbling to one another. Ethan was still struggling. "I need to see her again- I need to make up for what- for-" Reassuringly, Henry put a hand on his shoulder. His voice was a soft, reassuring tone. "... it is alright, do not be afraid. Everything will be fine. If this really IS purgatory, you can make up for what you did wrong." "I should be in hell." "Now, now, do not rag on yourself like this." "... if this is purgatory, maybe if I kill myself again, I get to hell." "Again?" Slightly taken aback Henry looked at the man, but kept rubbing his back. No response. For a moment he hesitated, then continued. "Listen... Ethan. We cannot be sure. For now let us work with what we have. Is there anything you neglected to do while still alive? Something that could have brought your forward in your mission?" "I- I don't know!" His voice was shaking with desperation. Everything was horrible.How was that man back? The man he had been looking for, the guy he was SO certain was the one behind all of this, yet had turned out to be just another victim of whatever ungodly being haunted these locations- Nothing made sense, his phone didn't work, the place seemed to be different EVERY DAY-From the distance, Henry's voice slowly made its way through to him. "... have you ever attempted to become an employee?" Staring into the void that were his former hopes, dreams and probably his dwindling sanity, he shook his head."No, no... never- I thought- it would have gotten in the way..." "Hm.” Pretending to be thoughtful, Henry paused and tipped a bit against his cheek. “Well, we can rectify that. Do you sometimes feel like this place is oddly... hostile towards you? A feeling in the air that seems to want to push you out? Do you struggle to relax?" "I-" Something was wrong here, very wrong. This guy waltzing in, declaring all of them for dead- it wasn't right, not at all. He clawed into his hair, trying to slow his breathing. Everything seemed to be against him, he never had a case like this before. He had dealt with AWFUL things, with AWFUL people and the most unluckiest of circumstances- but this was ungodly. "... I think I'm going insane..." "Hush, hush... we can fix this. I will assist you. I too feel still guilty for the things that happened here. I cost me my child too. I want to fix this as much as you do." At the end his voice had turned quiet, filled with pain. Pain all too relatable to Ethan. Shivering he took a breath, but stood up straight again. "... okay. Okay, what- what do we need to do to sign me up for... as an employee? And then what do we do- play- play the day that it happened?" "It only takes a signature, really. Legally. And that sounds like a plan. Maybe we will find a new path." Turning away he led him towards the office, the smile on his face invisible to the detective. "... welcome to the family." In the dark, dark saferoom, a small scratching noise was audible. Fur and metal over rock. Twitching a little. This wasn't the right body, but that hardly mattered. It made weird noises when he stood up. Pretty difficult to stand without a spine. But he could do it!Surely!He was Davey! Friend of Henry Miller! And Old Sport! That made it IMPOSSIBLE for him to fail!His long ears flopped a little as he stood up and looked around.Dark, dark.But a little bit of light shined from under the door. For a moment he gathered himself, then started to pull on the handle. No worries Old Sport.He's your special friend.And nothing could make him disappear. No matter what it took to come back. No matter if you recognized him or not. He would always come back.
8 notes · View notes
cow3survivor · 3 years
Text
Ep. 5: “Nothing to Report” - Jabari
Tumblr media
JENNET 
jennet vs ethan? more like jennet + ethan😀😀😉😉
(a little later)
plan was a success, i know thats right!
ETHAN
Somehow the Pennino vote worked, and Pennino if you are reading this, you really are an amazing guy, and I hope we get a second chance someday. That being said, you are too smart and self-aware, and that is dangerous. For this round, the reward challenge is interesting. I haven't met everyone in the game yet, so I don't know if people are looking at challenge results yet, and I have done my best to have middling performances, but winning this would mean I get put in the spotlight again for winning 2 individual rewards, so that potentially makes me nervous. More than anything, I want to avoid tribal, I don't think there would be a repeat of last time if we go again. I anticipate a swap in 1-2 more votes, either to 2 or 4 tribes. Video conf coming soon :D
JABARI
The girls and I flopped on the reward challenge and Ethan came up like a beast. I really feel out tribe of 5 is doing well and hopefully we can pull win and stay together. If not I Imagine Sam will be out, as for idol searches nothing to report though I feel I am getting close.
JAKE
https://youtu.be/FM19WJ1tTmk witty catchphrase, y'know?
SAM
https://youtu.be/MrYZw3I22ms
JESSICA
Me when I found the idol: :) Me when the hosts told me I had to gamble my vote like 13 times in order to get it: :( I really wish we’d lost now so Nicole could be out and I could have an idol! If we don’t swap next time and it’s there, I’m taking the idol and throwing the challenge. Then we can vote Nicole out and I can have an idol! Will my allies be suspicious that I didn’t vote at that tribal? Not if it’s unanimous for Nicole which you KNOW I’d be doing the work to make happen. If we do swap, I’ll probably go get the idol anyways UNLESS we swap to tribes of 5 and my tribe is bad. But even then, I might as well go get it because I could play it that round if I needed to. Um not much else happened this round! I hope we merge soon.
LINDSAY
sorry ur getting text today ok im so fucin ajfdkhsakjlfhsalkjfhskjfhksjd i hate this anyways i think the tribe is split into two duos and then me - jennet and jabari /ethan and sam. pennino was kinda my duo but also eh. i think ethan has an idol or at the very least an advantage. a f r a i d not sure what to do. could stick w jennet and jabari and hope for the best or preemptively flip and try to make it w ethan and sam... i think there'll be a tribe swap soon but ajsfhsaldfhsdkj afraid if there's too few calumma come merge we'll be fucked but sokka pulled it off before it's not impossible we'll be okay depending. but if i piss off jennet or jabari calumma might not vibe w me following so i'll be stuck at the bottom of the totem pole w old not calumma and that's not a good spot to be either.  :( my "lets do something fun" says lets flip fuck it, but my loyal ass/wants to make it to merge this game ass says sticking w calumma is my best bet. jabari was posting cryptic shit last night so im gonna lead into that and see what hapepns anyways fuck this tribal. fuck tribal. i love all of these people i dont want to vote them out like genuinely there's no one here i want to see gone i HATE THIS anyways if i flip on calumma id probably go jennet bc she's a bigger threat than jabari iirc and if i stay loyal i'd probably aim for ethan bc sam is the more obvious target i... think?
JONES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApcRUkdtxm4
JENNET
going go tribal again im SUPER nervous... i formed a tight alliance with ethan and sam and i feel bad for betraying the girls but this will help propel me in the long run and i have to take this shot
JESSICA
REALLY hoping we don't swap tonight...... that way I can instantly go get the idol! Or if we do swap, I hope I stay on Calumma. I think I should have actually just gone for the idol but I was worried about needing my vote at next tribal and not knowing what's ahead. Like imagine if I went for it, I lost my vote, and I only got the idol to be good for one round. Or for no rounds. It literally would have been useless and I would hate to swap and have no idol AND no vote. At least now if we swap, I definitely have one of those things! I'm not interested in gambling everything to get nothing so it just didn't seem like a smart choice. I did consider taking it and only gambling once just so Nicole definitely didn't get the idol but that didn't seem like a good idea. She only has like a 1/25 chance of finding it IF she's been guessing every single day and even if she does find it and we don't swap, my guess is Pete will want to throw his vote on Mikey which is fine with me because that is their relationship that will be affected, not mine. 24/25 odds Nicole has no idol is better than a 1/13 chance of losing my vote right? I'm honestly not sure as I still to this day cannot do any math <3 I have been saying this whole game I think we're going to swap at 15 into 3 tribes of 5 so hopefully I am wrong! And we swap at 14 or even better do not swap at all again until the merge. At least I will know who could have the idol if we swap. Narrowing this down is useful, as is knowing that the all 3 pre-merge tribe idols likely have expirations close to final 8/9 and probably aren't good until f5. Plus I'll get the chance to try and get another idol from a different tribe (or find out that someone else already has it too!). You may notice I didn't mention my other teammates in this confessional. Well that is because none of them are really here and nothing is going on since we've been winning. I have still been talking to Mikey and Pete on and off but Lovelis seems to be pretty busy so he hasn't been here. And Nicole...... has left me on read again. We just do not know what is going on there.
LOVELIS
WOO we won immunity!! I'm anticipating a swap soon so I'm tryna stay as cool with Mikey and Nicole as I can just in case I'm put on a tribe with them again, but I do hope I can stay with Shane or Jessica in the future because those two are the ones I get on with the most for sure, and I'd feel more comfortable moving forward on a tribe with them for now! I don't think Nicole has any trust in me after the Nash elimination so I'd be more weary if I had to work with her in order to save myself in the long run, but let's see what the future holds shall we!
SAM
https://youtu.be/F0Zt0L8lScA
ETHAN
Ok this tribal is terrifying. Apparently lindsay and jabari are trying to blindside me by telling me the vote is Sam, and this could be a super good bait from Jennet to try to get Sam to idol. If they’re playing logically, they vote Sam if that’s the case anyways. It wouldn’t make much sense for Jennet to spill, not vote with us, and vote for me, I hope these people are logical, because I’m operating under the assumption that they are.
MADISON
I honestly have to laugh at Shane messing up 2 times during the challenges, us having the lowest counting score, and still being immune at the end of the day. It's truly beautiful. Daisy won the reward so she will be attending the tribal tonight and I hope she can give us an idea of how the dynamics are on another tribe. It's hard when there hasn't really been much to do on Brookesia so having a little bit of info could go a long way in this game.
NICOLE
Hello! So we won. I was having a little bit of a hard time this round if I'm being honest so I'm glad we won immunity because I think I definitely would have hit the road if we did not. Logic puzzles are really gonna be my legacy in this game huh...anyway, I have been searching for idols everyday and have not found ANYTHING except a second guess which I already used to find nothing. Even worse it seems that everywhere I look something has already been found! Which means other people have things! Which stinks. But, I think I'm in a pretty good spot if we swap after this round.  But if we stay on this tribe....yikes!
JENNET 
super nervous, i have TWO alliances with the same name... hoping that helps me at tribal so when i say the name of it, both groups thinks its them😳😳
(a little later)
told ethan and sam what jabari and lindsay have planned for them... hoping it doesnt blow up in my face
(after searching for an idol)
was hoping to vote out lindsay bc shes been playing this like shes our leader but shes the stronger competitor and i dont want to push sam and ethan too much
SHANE
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-RKbRCfntNc75XUsCg7iKmFfxne0qcMt
SAMMY
i feel like this game is nonexistent lately...I do want to say Shane is lucky bc in the counting challenge he messes up like 2-3 times and i was like ...blinks.... idk but luckily we managed to escape tribal council once again so our odds going far and having numbers are pretty high I’d say? I feel like a swap is coming tho so I’m a bit nervous! My confessionals are gonna remain dry for now sorry mwah
DAISY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuVm7kTkEL4 ugh sorry its so shitty this didnt go as planned and i give up. love u all. kiss kisss
PETE
I’m pretty sure Nicole may still get numbers against me when the time comes. I’m nervous for a merge but honestly i’ll be grateful if I even make it to one for the first time lmao like at this point I may have a few numbers but I’m hoping another struggling alliance picks Jessica and I up at the merge and we can rest in majority for a little bit at the start of it. I was thinking about maybe throwing one challenge so we can either A. Vote off Nicole who is a big threat and could do damage later on. or B. Vote off Mikey who could be a secret snake which could win a couple more trust points with Nicole and maybe pick up and ally there. I’m not sure. I did save Nicole in one light by redirecting my alliance’s target from her to Nash, but in another, I didn’t side with her in voting off Mikey so she lost her ally. It’s complex, I feel like throwing a challenge AND not throwing a challenge could both be the mistake I look back on when I get voted out later on. i dunno send help lmao
TRIBAL COUNCIL
youtube
JABARI EXIT INTERVIEW
youtube
0 notes
47-protons · 5 years
Text
hang on i’mma talk a thing about dad and my uncle and “why do you watch those gaming youtubers just play the game yourself?” (that I’m going to post online and not talk to them about bc they are both Taller than me and Loud which are two veryvery anxiety-inducing things on my end so we’re gonna VENT to the Void instead L A D S)
- Gaming youtubers (especially mark, sean, and ethan, the ones I watch the most) have access to things that I Cannot play myself (ex. games more than $30, VR that I Cannot afford, much less the games for VR, all other consoles I’m not 100% conscious of, horror/anxiety games that I am physically unable to play because I Will choose the Freeze fear response or smack my laptop closed and possibly damage it)
- they have friends and it’s fun sometimes to just watch those friends interact and go “haha my friends act the same way!!” and it’s f u n and makes me feel happy. Like the videos Mark does with like, Ethan and Tyler? those are fun to watch friends interact. Sean and Robin are also a good old Wholesome duo to watch play games together.
- some of them have really nice voices if you’re in a “holy shit everything is Bad nothing is okay i Cannot sit still or I will implode under the weight of my own anxiety” moment where 98% of Anything will make the anxiety worse and what few comfort things you can grab are very good comfort things indeed.
^^ a very good example I can point at for that is Robin, on both the betapixl and pixlpit channels, with several videos saved into my Bad Day playlist because sometimes you just gotta have a level voice talking about concepts you’re familiar with. Because it’s grounding and something to focus on. Rigging in animation? a Thing that I’m interested in! certain games I like? a Thing that holds my interest!! a nice sounding calm voice that doesn’t set off the processing disorder, so I can actually understand and not have to rewind every fifteen seconds? THE MAN IS A LEGEND (sean’s voice is Also one of the few accented voices I can understand but he’s got like. 50% chance of screaming so I’ll bookmark those and watch ‘em later.)
- @ my dearest father and uncle, I’ll probably never meet this person that I desperately want to hug because they help me sometimes w/ The Shit so how about u just go away and let me enjoy what I can of their general presence thanks b y e
- “Why don’t you just play the game yourself?” Okay. You like hockey! go out there and play the game yourself. You like football! go play the game yourself. Hey you watch a lot of fly-tying videos on youtube why don’t u just go tie those flies yourself hey u watch a lot of golf on tv why dont you just go play the game yourself
- “What’s the point in watching someone else play the game” what’s the point in watching any games. You like football. You know they kick the ball and catch it and run. team A scored. “What’s the point of football?” “To win” “Okay but why do you want the team to win?”
I don’t know I’ve got like. A lot of concept-based thinking that’s less actual words and more like. pressing your hands into memory foam? Like you have a SECOND to grab onto it and note it down but then it’s gone into this lil baby impression? was that a hand? a butt? a cat? a stack of books? a laptop??? we can tell it’s something but it just left evidence of itself and no concrete solution.
In this case the evidence is just aggressively mounting frustration. “Why” is the question, isn’t it. Why do we do anything? Why do we exist? why did you choose to have children? Why did you buy THIS house and not the one next to it?
WHY don’t u just go away and let me watch my damn gaming channels man they’re fun and make me happy you don’t have to take a big ‘ol shite on anything you don’t personally enjoy or understand
0 notes