#ughhhhh i did not expect to get hit in the cousin feels like this but here we are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashyazeohane · 6 years

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I feel like this one will be one big one-shot (it kinda is, but filled with a lot of dialogues). This part is mostly written from David’s point of view (lol finally haha xD)

And big thanks too -> @amlenaya @the-pinkest-bunny @lunavamp14! Your comments made me want to write <3!

And as always enjoy (enjoy the angst and fluffiness)!!

Part 1 can be found here!

Adult!Maxvid!AU - Part 7 (I really like angst lol):

David went to Gwen. She wasn’t gladly living far away, maybe around 15 or 20 minutes on foot. And this was exactly what David did. Walked there on foot. He rang a doorbell and Gwen opened him the door even without asking who was there.

David went to the correct floor and knocked on her door.

“It’s open!”

So he pushed the door and walked inside.

Gwen’s house was a very tini tiny small apartment, which only had one big room connected with a kitchen and a bathroom. It wasn’t much, Gwen totally hated it, but David kinda liked the comfy vibe he was getting from it.

When David entered, Gwen peeked at him from behind the fridge which was currently open.

“Oh heyyy – yyyou really look like shit.”

David lifted his head, only to sniff at the end.

“Are you going to cry?” The woman quickly asked, putting away whatever she had in her hands.

“No.” David said, even though he wasn’t sure if that was the full truth. “It was cold outside.”

Gwen glanced outside the window, like she was checking if the snow that had been there earlier was still holding onto the windowsill tightly.

“Okay, I almost believe you. Now sit, enjoy your cocoa and tell me what is wrong.”

David exhaled slowly the air – the tension he had been holding inside of him. His shoulders immediately slumped down as he wrapped his cold fingers around the warm, steaming cup. He tried to collect all his thoughts inside his head, to form some kind of coherent message, but found them swirling around like he was in the middle of a storm. Where should he start? What should he even say?

Gwen sat in front of him on and stared absentmindedly at a TV. She didn’t urge David and allowed him to take his time. Or at least for first few minutes. Because when she saw he had problems with starting, she decided to nudge him.

“Okay, let’s start from the very beginning…” Gwen scratched the back of her head. “Is it about that one night when you drank quite too much?”

David nodded.

“So you did something when you were drunk, right?”

Another nod.

“Okay… does this involve someone?”

David twitched and then one more time hesitantly nodded.

“So, do you regret it?”

David licked his lips and opened his mouth:

“It’s hard to regret something you don’t even remember.” He finally said, feeling as something in him squirmed and clenched at that confession. “But yeah… I regret it… in a way…” David murmured, lifting the cup to his lips.

Gwen hummed and rested her face on her palm.

“So… what exactly happened?” She asked.

David stared at the cup. The whole reason for being here was that he could talk with Gwen. And he knew he could talk with her. She had proved it so many times that David had lost count. She had been with him through bad and good times for so so many years.

Plus he really needed to get it out.

He only hoped Max wouldn’t mind.

“Okay, okay… okay…” David murmured to himself, calming his rapidly beating heart with this mantra. “Okay…”

Gwen slowly sipped her tea from the cup when David probably literally (or not) threw a grenade at her.

“I… had sex with Max.”

Okay, maybe saying it while Gwen was taking a sip wasn’t the smartest moment of his life – because whatever she had had in her mouth was now on the table.

It took few minutes for Gwen to catch her breath and get the liquid out from her windpipes. David wanted to go help her, but she raised her hand to show that she was okay. Or more or less okay, so he cleared the table.

“Okay…” Gwen said, taking inhales of sweet, sweet air. ”Okay okay okay okay okay okay… That was not what I expected!”

David squirmed in his seat, trying to make himself as small as possible. Maybe… maybe this was a bad idea? Maybe he should keep his mouth shut and suffer in silence? What were few days without sleep? People can live like that, right?

Right?

Gwen looked at him.

“Okay, let’s start from the very beginning… So you went out with Max on Friday evening?”

“Yes.”

“And started drinking in some pub?”

“That is correct.”

“And then what?”

David scrunched his nose.

“I… don’t remember much… or like nothing at all almost…” David said, pinching the bridge of his nose with the thumbs of his connected hands. “I think Max took me home? And then…”

“So you don’t remember what happened?”

“No. Sometimes I see flashes in front of my eyes, but that’s all…” That sounded miserable.

Gwen cleared her throat.

“So how do you know what really happened?”

“Because I woke up naked, covered in semen, with an aching butt and hickeys all over my neck!” David said, too loud for comfort. Then he blinked and turned bright red. F… frick, he didn’t mean to shout it out loud. “Plus Max kinda simply told me.”

“Okay, first of all – too many information.” Gwen shivered heavily. “And second – so you both talked after that?”

“He was still in my house when I woke up, so it was hard not to talk. Plus it wasn’t like I didn’t want to talk with him anymore after that.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“No–“

“So about what you two were talking about?”

“What we should do from now on…”

“And what did you say?”

So, so, so many questions. But he knew Gwen only wanted to help and because of her being a psychology major she needed to know everything. So David tried to answer her as calmly as he could.

“That we need to… forget about that night?”

At this Gwen blinked, taken aback. A clear uncertainty beamed from her face as she then furrowed her eyebrows.

“And how did Max react to that? And be honest.” Gwen said, leaning forward and putting her both arms on the table.

“He said that he was…” David took a deep breath, trying to calm his shuddering nerves. “… okay with that…”

“…but?” Gwen asked, clearly catching that this wasn’t the honest truth.

“Gwen.”

“But?” She insisted, looking right into his eyes.

David sighed. Might as well tell her the whole story. He could only hope Max wouldn’t be mad at him. Well, judging by the fact that he still didn’t message David… that could be already the case. The situation couldn’t be worse.

“But… he didn’t look that happy about… that idea?”

Gwen hummed and nodded at that. She looked like she was thinking this over and over in her head for few seconds, maybe even a minute, before she leaned back on the chair and totally changed the topic.

“Okay…” She one more time nodded to herself. “And how do you feel about that? And you still didn’t tell me why you are so sad?”

“Because I feel like we… like we destroyed the friendship we had!” David shouted, only to hide his face in his hands in the end. “I like how things were before… before all of this happened! And now it feels like everything changed and I don’t want that.”

“What changed?” Gwen asked, this time creating a sad, melancholic note with her voice.

“Like… we don’t talk anymore… Before that we were conversing a lot on the phones and sometimes he would visit me at my house and we would sit and watch TV. Sometimes we talked, but sometimes just enjoyed not doing anything in particular.” David sighed, wrapping his palms around the cup once again. “He isn’t picking up his cousin anymore… but maybe because her parents have some free time nowadays.”

He took a hesitant sip. Then another. The hot sweetness was blocking all his senses with the sugar overdose and he loved it.

“So Max didn’t write to you?”

“No…”

“And you didn’t write to him either?”

“No?” But a smaller one, almost tentative.

“But you want to?”

“Kinda?”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

David blinked.

“Pardon?”

“Just write to him. It looks like you need some good heart to heart talk to… explain everything and clear every misunderstanding.” Gwen shrugged. “It’s simple as that.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Just write to him when I didn’t do it for two weeks?”

“The sooner the better.”

Could David do that? Could he simply write to him? But what if Max don’t reply back? What if he ignore it? What if he decided that he didn’t want anything to do with David anymore?

But David wanted it. This normalness between them. The friendship they had. He loved every part of it and when it had been suddenly ripped away from his hands, he felt empty inside.

Even though it was kinda his fault.

“Okay, Gwen, you’re right, I’m going to–“

But in this very moment his phone vibrated, announcing a new message from Max.

So going back (in time) to Max ->

Max told Neil and Nikki everything. Of course, he didn’t spill how the night exactly had gone, but the day after he described quite thoroughly. Nikki and Neil listened intently, sometimes gasping and sometimes grimacing – like kids. Then he simply finished the story with how the last two weeks had gone.

“First of all…” Neil started. ”Congrats, I guess?”

“Gee thanks…” Max mumbled into the pillow that was covering his face. “Man, I fucked up.”

“No denying it.”

“Ughhhhh David will never talk with me again...”

“You don’t know that. Have you tried writing to him?”

“Multiple times.”

“But did you actually hit send?”

“… no…”

“Problem solved. You just need to message him.”

“But what should I say?”

“Erm, hey, what’s up?” Neil lifted his eyebrow and crossed his arms.

“Or better….” Niki finally pipped up. “We can go visit him! I never saw his house. It’s not fair that you are the only one who have seen it!”

“Oh, that is a good idea.” Neil nodded.

What the fuck? No, no, no, way! Nu-huh.

“No, no, no, no, no, we’re not going anywhere! Especially not to David!” Max shouted, glancing with growing fear at his friends who were already putting on their shoes. “Stop whatever you’re doing!”

Neil sighed.

“Listen, Max, you miss him, you like him, I would even say that you lo–“

“Stop right there!” Did he shriek? Oh yeah, he did.

“So you need to go there and see him. You were a mess for the last two weeks and yeah, maybe you two shouldn’t fuck, but it happened, so you can’t cry over spilt naphthalene.”

“Isn’t there milk in the saying?” Nikki asked, putting on a jacket.

“Whatever. The same thing. The point is, Max you need to start talking with him. Okay, yeah, maybe the relationship between you won’t be the same, but it doesn’t mean it will be worse. Bur right now you are making it worse. And if you want to change that, you need to get a grip on yourself and put on some damn shoes.”

Max stared at Neil, who was currently fully dressed, and was kicking Max’s shoes in his direction.

Unfortunately Neil was… right. Max was simply too scared, afraid that by talking he would make the situation between them worse. The situation was already bad, but he was making it worse by not messaging David. And Max wanted to do something with it. He missed David, his weird conversations, his stupid, warm smile, this whole aura that came with the man.

Max sighed.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Nikki shouted loud in excitement and quickly after they were out of the dorm.

Max rang the doorbell to David’s apartment, feeling like his heart could jump out of his chest. He waited for the familiar voice to resonate from the speaker, but… nothing happened. He rang then one more time.

“Maybe he’s not home?” Nikki proposed with deflated tone.

Max grimaced and tried to put on the most emotionless face he could muster. He knew he shouldn’t hope… but damn…

“Why don’t you message him where he is then?” Neil asked. “We’ve come so far.”

Max’s hand moved automatically to his pocket, but it froze midair. Should he? Maybe David didn’t want to see him? Maybe he won’t even respond? Maybe he was still mad at Max? Maybe they will never talk again? Maybe –

No, he needed to try. He wanted to try.

So before Max would change his mind, he took out his phone and sent a quick message to David.

Back to David (again) ->

where are you?

David stared and stared at the message like just by looking at it, it would give him more words (or more of anything actually), but nothing like this happened. It remained short.

“Who is that?’ Gwen asked.

“Max.”

“And what has he written?”

“He’s asking where I am…” David swallowed with fingers hovering above the reply button.

“Well, reply to him, duh. He deserve it.”

Gwen was right.

With heavily thumping heart, David slowly wrote a reply.

At Gwen’s.

David exhaled slowly his breathe through his lips, trying to calm his rapidly clenching chest and flipping stomach. He thought he more or less managed to do so, but he still jumped when his phone vibrated.

can i come over?

Then another vibration five seconds later.

nikki and neil are with me 2

Oh… oh…

“And what did he say?”

“He asked if he can come over together with Neil and Nikki…”

“I don’t mind.” Gwen said.

David looked up at her with wide eyes.

“I rarely get company here and I didn’t see them in a while. Plus, you need this. So what is better than a neutral ground?”

David looked down at his phone. He wanted to see Max, to check if he was alright, to see if what they had had been utterly destroyed or if there were ways of repairing it. But he was also terrified. Scared how it all could go, afraid that maybe… maybe…

No.

“Just do it!”

“Okay!” David croaked and then simply wrote a reply.

Sure you can.

They didn’t need to wait long for an answer.

address doofus xp

Oh, yeah, right. He wrote and sent it.

on our way

“So are they coming?”

“Yeah.”

Gwen stood up.

“Should I boil more water or move immediately to hard liquor?”

David shuddered.

“No, no alcohol for me. Especially in the middle of the week.”

“I know.” Gwen chuckled. “I’m just teasing you.”

David slumped down on the chair.

As they waited David nervously played with the hem of his sweater. Gwen after few minutes stood up and moved to boil the water one more time.

David was a nervous mess. He tapped his foot stressfully. Fingers fiddled with the material near his stomach and sleeves, pulling and crumpling it like crazy. He wanted it, but damn, he was so scared. What if this meeting turns sour? What if he says something wrong? What if Max says something wrong? Oh god, oh god, oh god –

“Relax David, everything is going to be alright. We’re gonna talk a little bit and that’s all.” Gwen reached and grabbed his one hand when he moved them to wrap around his cup. She squeezed it hard. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“Okay.” David nodded, inhaling deeply and exhaling loudly. “Okay…” He parroted himself, like he wanted to convince himself. “Okay…”

Another few minutes passed, before Gwen opened her mouth:

“Can I ask you one more question before they come?”

“Sure.”

“Do you… like Max?”

David blinked, feeling his breath hitching in his throat.

“I like him.” He said, because it was true.

“I mean… I mean more than a friend?”

David stared at Gwen, with mouth open and eyes resembling two full moons. The gears in his head moved, squeaked as his chest ruptured, sending wave after wave of clenching pain to his heart.

“I…” David swallowed hard. “I… don’t think I do…”

Gwen blinked. It looked like she was kinda taken aback by his answer, which also surprised David in the same time. Did she think he did?

“You don’t think you do?” She repeated, like she had hard time believing it.

David opened his mouth–

But at this very moment the doorbell rang, freeing him from having to answer the question.

His heart jumped to his throat when Gwen quickly moved to an intercom. She opened the door after a quick exchange.

“They’re here.”

Oh no, David wasn’t prepared for that. Should, should he stand up and move to the door or like welcome them with a handshake or something like that? Should he hug them or maybe that will be too much!? Or maybe if he don’t do it…

“Gweeeeen!” Oh it was Nikki, throwing herself on the female and spinning around. Even though she was still smaller, she lifted the taller girl without a problem and almost spun her around.

“Nikki, put me down!”

After her entered Neil, politely taking off his shoes and welcoming Gwen with a handshake and then…

Max.

David felt like he could faint any second now. Max didn’t change a bit, but well how much could he change during two weeks actually? But if David had to be honest, he would say that Max looked… tired – with ashy bags under his eyes.

And their eyes crossed immediately and David felt a thumping loudly and painfully sensation in his chest.

But the connection was quickly broken as Nikki threw herself on his neck and hugged like she would die tomorrow. He stood up and reciprocated the hug (even though it felt like she could break his neck) and then shook hands with Neil.

He lifted his face at Max who only… waved at him from the other side of the table.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Max.”

Awkward.

Gwen walked inside.

“Sit wherever you want. I’ll make something to drink. Why do you all want?”

“Tea?” Neil asked.

“Wine!!!” Nikki shouted.

“Coffee.” Max added.

“Okay. What? Okay.”

“Come on, Gwen. I know you have wine there somewhere! Give it to me.”

“But only one lamp!”

“Ugh, fine!”

Neil together with Max sat on the opposite side of the table and Nikki moved to the chair next to David’s one.

David felt that Max was observing him. He could feel his cunning eyes on himself, and even though he was very happy that the male looked more or less okay, he still was stressed. More so when Max was staring at him so intently.

David slowly cleared his throat, wriggling the hem of his shirt as he finally looked up.

“How are you… doing?” Oh my gosh, it sounded lame.

Max blinked.

“I’m fine.” He murmured. “How about you?”

‘I’m… okay too.”

“Well, he will be if he get a full night sleep.” Gwen said, entering the living room with two cups which she put in front of Max and Neil.

“Gwen!”

“What? It’s true!” She snorted, going back to the kitchen to get back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

Now Max eyed him curiously. Great. And David still had problems with looking him in the eyes.

Because how could he?

Nikki still grabbed the topic like it was a lifeline.

“You’re not sleeping well David?” She asked.

“No, Nikki, I’m sleeping fine.“ David quickly said and then immediately felt guilt after lying. “Well maybe I have some problems with falling asleep, but well I always had.”

Oh no, Max was still staring, now even more intently. He needed to change the topic, fast.

“And you don’t feel tired in the morning?”

“Erm sometimes? But it’s way better than how Gwen looks whenever she spends the whole night watching Netflix.”

“Hey! You know that I –“

Phew… managed to dodge that one.

After that the conversation slowly started to move smoothly – jumping from one topic to another. Of course Gwen, Neil and Nikki talked freely, but for Max and David it took some time to feel comfortable to talk without problems. But with every passing minute David felt calmer and more comfortable. Even Max few times cracked jokes at David, which he quickly shot back, what surprised everyone, but it felt good.

Max was stealing some glances from time to time at David.

Then Neil, Nikki and Gwen were so enamored by some conversation, shouting and laughing loudly, that they stopped paying them much attention

At this point Max was literally staring openly at David, so he finally looked at Max.

Max pointed at David, then moved his hand closer to his chest, made an o from it and after that moved the palm further away with fingers forming something that resembled… a letter k?

David blinked. It was a sign language:

Are you OK?

David felt something warm fluttering in his stomach with the sweet sensation moving to his limbs. There was an accelerated beat resonating in his ears as blood rushed to his cheeks.

David smiled hesitantly and then signed back – first pointing at himself and then flattening left hand to make a kinda wavy movement with the other, with fingers pointing at Max.

I’m alright.

Max stared at it and then nodded – more to himself, like he was searching in his head for the translation of the sign. Then the corners of his lips twitched in a small, hesitant smile.

David pointed at Max.

And you?

Max lifted his hand and lowered it, eyebrows furrowing for a second, before the forehead smoothened out. Max pointed at himself, then positioned his hand perpendicularly to his chest and waved it.

I’m fine.

David grinned at Max, feeling his chest untying. Max smiled at him back – this typical half-smile he often had.

David finally felt a little lighter, a little better.

Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was a first step.

So I think that’s the end for now… it almost turned again into a full one-shot… XD Urghhhhhhh… anyway stay tuned for next parts… whenever they’ll come out!

I’m sorry but I’m not an expert in sign language. The signs are the result of me searching for them on Google xD. So there may be some mistakes!

#Maxvid #Mavid #Adult!Maxvid!AU #my art?#my stories?#Ugh I had very bad mood today #And I'm tireeed as always #But hope you liked it!

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idealisticrealism · 6 years

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Blindspot 3x03 recap

(Aka the Patterson and Rich show lol)

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I LOVED this episode. Cute Jeller, supportive team, and of course, PATTERSON AND RICH BEING KICKASS BESTIES. Can the whole season be just like this ep bc good lord it is totally up there with my fave eps of this show ever and ugh I just loved it so much guys

Which in a way is kind of a bad thing because it means this review is gonna take me like 6 hours on account of all the screaming, but ah well. Worth it.

And to the lovely Anon-- I may very possibly struggle to do these from now on due to my travelling, but I’ll try my best to keep them happening if I can. Thankfully none of the other people in my hostel dorm here in Madrid have minded my hectic late-night typing for the last couple of hours lol...

Anyhow, more gushing below the cut.

Ugh look at this. Our babies are dressed all fancy and having drinks and it’s kinda reminiscent of 1x09 except this time instead of just alluding to their interest in each other, Weller is BLATANTLY HITTING ON JANE, his WIFE, who he is MARRIED TO, and ugh it’s simultaneously delightful and almost nauseating haha. Zapata and Reade definitely agree with the nauseating part, because they’re stuck in the surveillance van being forced to listen to every word. Oh, kids. As the child of two people that love to make jokes about their sex life just to gross me out, I totally understand your pain right now. Lbr tho they probably kind of missed this. And lol I love that Jane giggles and apologises while shooting heart-eyes at Weller. You two are the worst. I actually didn’t expect this scene so early but I’m totally into it. And so Jeller keep an eye on the suspect and his daughter/wife, while Tasha works her hacking skills and hacks his computer. Also awww her cousin asked for Patterson’s autograph, that is so cute and I now love her cousin. I love that Patterson is now super rich and kinda a celeb lol. Hahaha I love that Jane delays the guy by telling him she loves his charity work and then literally like 10 secs later the team is into his files and Weller is arresting him. That would have had to feel kinda like an abrupt turnabout lol

Aww Zapata is checking in on Patterson and making sure she’s okay D: I love these ladies supporting each other. But in what sounds like depressing deja vu of both of the previous seasons, Patterson insists she’s fine to be there. Also her puzzle solving skills clearly haven’t suffered-- she figured out that random specks on Jane’s back could be translated onto a grid and brought together to form words? Dude. Tbh I like that the show gives us a brief explanation of how things were cracked without putting any pressure on us viewers-- we get to just smile and nod and be like ‘yep, sounds legit’ and then move on haha. Now Aunty Hirst has rocked up to hear the deets, considering their suspect is a big fish. And basically there’s some evidence that he caused a train to derail which was previously called in as an anonymous tip, and which made him super rich due to something to do with stocks. Can you tell I have very little understanding of the stock market lol, which tbh is kinda unfortunate considering my father keeps wanting me to invest haha.

Oooh Patterson goes to Reade bc she’s been investigating Stuart’s murder on her own despite there already being a team on it, and she tells him that Stuart had a Siri/google home/Alexa equivalent thing and that she thinks the thing recorded his murder, since they’re sneakily recording everything. Makes you worry about Siri and Alexa, doesn’t it… Anyway she wants Reade to go demand the recording from the company before it’s deleted within 72hrs. Go Reade go! Meanwhile Patterson goes to talk to their suspect’s lawyer, and walks in to find her playing Wizardville. I love that she knows exactly which part she’s at just by hearing the sound effects. Ugh you giant nerd I love you so much. When Jeller show up a minute later (maybe held up in the locker room because of… activities…) lawyer lady insists that the emails are planted by a hacker group who is targeting her client. Lol “Mr Lowie can afford better specialists than the FBI has. No offense”/”Offense taken”. Damn right, Patterson, none of those specialists could hold a candle to you. But uh oh, the lawyer mentioned the hacker group-- the three blind mice-- and Patterson suddenly got all shifty. What do you know that you’re not telling, honey??? Also the lawyer lady is threatening them with a very large lawsuit which is bound to make all of this a little awkward….

RIIIICHHH. God I will never get over the delight of seeing him appear in an episode. Patterson visits him in his office, which is literally just a room for cleaning supplies, and she turns on a radio jammer which has him spitting coffee (if that is coffee) out of his ‘best daddy ever’ mug. So either he stole the mug from Weller or someone, or it’s alluding to a weird sex thing. You never know with Rich. (Yes you do; it’s usually the weird sex thing). Ugh and when she demands to know if he hacked into the suspect’s server he’s all “What?? No?? Who??” and god I just love his FACE. Ennis how do you do this??? God. And then ugh he promises her he’s not lying and ugh I believe it. And then she tells him the tatt points to the 3BM and that the FBI are gonna try to track them down and ugh you can see the ‘oh shit’ on his face. I just love the way these two interact, like they’re legit real friends?? Ugh my babies. I adore Jeller and all, but tbh this is my favourite duo on the show rn. And now Weller wants to see them both and they’re both like ‘oh shit’ lol. And then lol he totally ignores ‘ladies first’ and calls Weller mademoiselle and you can hear that he’s nervous and aaahhhh his joke about the 3 blind mice from the nursery rhyme and then insisting he’s a crime fighter now and I just love him so muuuchhhh and this whole time he and Patterson are both half shitting themselves and ugh I feel like he’s using his ridiculousness to keep attention on him and not Patterson bc she doesn’t like lying to her team and ughhhh they’re such broooos. And Hirst appears to tell them all that they need to catch the 3BM asap because the emails were planted and their dude might sue, and to which Rich suggests a simple ‘I was wrong’ to patch things up lollll. And then Hirst has a picture of the 3BM and Patterson and Rich are all !!!!!!!!! and then it turns out it’s a person in a mouse mask and they’re so relieved lol. Also dude after Patterson, i love Rich’s dynamic with Jane the most. She’s basically like his long-suffering mom hahaha. Back in the closet, Patterson’s freaking out and wants to come clean but he’s all ‘how about no’ lol. Also he says that they dropped out because ‘someone thought it was getting too dangerous’ and he points to her but then jabs his thumb toward himself as he’s speaking and now I’m confused?? Which one wanted to bail?? (Probably Patterson lbr). Ughhhh by the sound of it they were such little Robin Hoods, and ugh I NEED the spinoff about this whole partnership over the last 2 years ughhhhhhh. And hahaha omg “so we make it a little harder for them, if you catch my drift”/”by obstructing justice??”/”drift caught.” UGHHHHH GIVE ME THE SPINOFF. GIVE IT TO ME. I will sell my soul for this I stg.

Meanwhile awww Reade is honouring Patterson’s request and talking to a representative from the kinga company about the recordings, and when she tries to deny it he and Zapata totally roll their eyes at each other haha. These bros. And then she’s texting his gf which feels a little weird, and also she says they hung out ‘last weekend’ but uh wasn’t stuart’s murder less than 72hr ago, and so all the events of last ep including Zapata meeting the gf happened then as well (that did happen in 3x02 right?)? Maybe that was friday and this is monday and she meant to say ‘on the weekend’? Also “You better put a ring on that before I do” LOL I love it. I’m sure it’s just a joking comment but dude could Zapata be bi? Because I would totally be down for that. I like Zapata being friends with Reade’s gf and encouraging them as a couple, since I want Reade and Zapata to remain just bros. I seriously miss Reade/Sarah though. Lbr I’m still totally bitter about that one, Gero.

Patterson found the person in the mouse mask by creating a ‘biometric map’ of the person from the video and using ‘gait recognition’?? Mmmmmkay, sure, I’ll roll with it. Nice little mention of Patterson’s NSA access, though. The woman they find has a bunch of dating profiles and works for Nerd Herd (awww a Chuck reference, I’m so happy) which makes Rich pity her, but uh dude don’t you know she was Miss United States?? And she’s besties with Sandra Bullock, so she’s doing just fine. And ugh when Rich says that they tracked her location, Jane actually praises him and ughhhh look at that parental approval he’s getting, I’m so happy for him. And then haha Hirst wants both Patterson and Rich in on the interrogation and ugh you can just see my poor Patterson getting more and more tightly wound lol can someone just give her a hug before she explodes? Preferably Rich giving her a slightly stilted but genuinely sincere hug. I want it. Nope, need it. Also looks like Jeller now have nothing on their schedule…. time for another locker room rendezvous perhaps?

Lollll their suspect has said like two lines and all I hear is Miss Rhode Island… also she looks so cute in her lil Nerd Herd outfit. I wonder if she ever met Chuck? I mean she’s based on the other side of the country, but still… what if she trained under him over in Burbank before moving to NYC? Anyhow she gushes about how famous the 3BM are and both Rich and Patterson are looking SO UNCOMFORTABLE in their own ways and I’m loving it. Also ugh Hirst’s soft southern accent is so soothing. Could she narrate audiobooks or something bc I would legit buy all of them. Although rn she’s describing bad stuff that the 3BM did and that doesn’t feel right, but then Kathy decides the jig is up and explains how each of those things was actually them helping people/semi-saving the world. Also man this actress is amazing in how she can sound simultaneously kinda deranged but also kinda sweet?? I just want to protect her and her adorable lil face haha. Lol at Rich and Patterson exchanging looks across the room the whole time she’s talking. Subtle, guys. And Rich’s face when she says that the three of them are still best friends?? Maybe he’s starting to think Patterson was right to have made them both cut ties with this wacko. But duuuude why are you so vain, you literally just let her goad you into revealing yourself as one of her former partners. But still, “Oh so by ‘pretty close’, do you mean 100% correct, or?” ughhhh I love the sass. And then Kathy mentions people being in danger and it draws Patterson over, putting all three of the blind mice at the same table for the first time in a year.... And also ever, when you think about it. Also turns out that the wealthy guy might be planning to blow something up to earn money from stocks like he did last time or something, which prompts Patterson to admit to Rich that she has backdoor access into every phone that downloaded her app. Firstly, wow, glad that power is in the hands of one of the good guys. Secondly, that’s a huge show of trust to tell him that, knowing that he could then steal her phone or something and use the access for his own gain. Ugh these bros!! Lol I do love that he gets carried away with thoughts of Hirst’s browser history tho haha. But anyhow by hacking the lawyer’s phone she figured out where the attack was planned to happen, and aawwwww Rich immediately wants to head to tell the team and Patterson is the one holding back. Also LOL: “Hey Gary.” “His name’s Gary? I’ve been calling him Rick…” ugh how is his every line just SO GOOD? I love the thought that he talks to their coworkers as well, probably talks the ear off of anyone who happens to come near him lol. Ugh my baby just wants to be loveddddd. I love the bickering-siblings thing they’ve got going on though, and “Well now who’s obstructing justice??” ahhahaha. Seriously who do I have to bribe to get the show with just these two? And then when she suddenly decides that they need to come clean, he’s all ‘woah no no, gross’ lollll. And then he has a little lightbulb moment about how to solve their problem-- a ridiculous and very conveniently timed anonymous tip lol. Well, tbh the team never really cares HOW Patterson managed to get their intel, only that she gives them stuff they can use/excuses to go beat people up. Aww but Weller trusts his lil team and acts immediately on their intel, prepared to take the fall for it if it turns out to be a dud. He’s very martyr-ish lately, I feel-- but I guess maybe he just feels invincible now that his wifey is back in his lifey?

Turns out the ‘tip’ is legit, and Jeller find our baddies, proceeding to beat the hell out of them in true Jeller fashion. There’s also a bomb, because of course there is, and Rich makes a suggestion only to be smacked down by Patterson and is properly apologetic haha. Jane then actually takes his advice, using the sped-up clock to convince the baddie to disarm the bomb, then takes him out and shoots the guy grappling with Weller by firing through a bottle of oil or something. Nice. She really is a woman of endless talents, a fact that Weller very much benefits from, both in the field and… elsewhere haha. Also Sully’s accent has dropped at least twice in this ep already, someone must be tired lol. Anyway back at the office, Aunty Hirst drops by to tell them all how proud she is. Also I want to marry the way she says ‘Lowie’. It’s just so damn cute. She then tells everyone to go home, and Rich and Patterson have a quiet little celebratory fist-bump (which they have clearly done before AAAHHHHHHH) over the 3BM investigation appearing to be closed. God they’re the cutest.

Oh yeah, forgot about Reade and Zapata for a minute there, too distracted by the other show-stealing partnership haha. They’re putting heavy pressure on the boss lady at Kinga, and I love that she calls him ‘sir’ and that he’s so firm and authoritative with her. This seems more like a true AD of the FBI! And you know Zapata’s pretty impressed too haha. Well done, Reade.

Loll Patterson and Rich meeting in a deserted parking lot and Rich stepping in a puddle and then both of them realising that neither of them actually sent the message that they received. Tbh I just love that each of them got a message from the other telling them to come to a random parking lot in the middle of the night and they both came?? Without question?? Ugghhhhhhh have I mentioned lately that I love them. Also what’s Rich’s sitch at the safe house? Does he have a team watching him that he had to evade to get here, or? And lol she calls him dumbwad and everything is so cute and fun and then RICH GETS SHOT IN THE CHEST. Ngl, I gasped far louder in this moment than I even knew I was capable of. There was a split second of sheer, unadulterated panic before I remembered he’s going to be returning for multiple eps throughout the season and therefore has to be okay. But good lord that one second was an awful experience. I swear to god, if they do ever kill Rich then I’m out. I will walk away from this show, Gero, don’t think I won’t! And ugh the shock and horror on Patterson’s face-- for all he drives her crazy, he’s literally one of her best friends, and she’s already lost enough people around her. And then Kathy appears and even though she assures them (and us) that they’re just beanbag rounds, it’s still freaky as hell to see her shooting them both with a shotgun at point-blank range. My poor babies… Aaaand then they wake in a Saw-esque setting and ugh he pokes her so gently to wake her and they’re so cute when they’re kidnapped. Sounds like it’s a semi-regular occurrence for Rich, whose main concern is that he doesn’t get to be kidnapped anywhere fun lol. Aw, is someone using humour to make their friend feel less scared? “And not the good kind of dungeon” haha. And then he goes for the door and she tries to stop him but too late, he gets zapped by a shock collar and lol my poor baby. “Oh my god, she’s gonna make us play the hunger games, isn’t she??” Which tbh would be pretty interesting between these two. I’m tempted to bet on Patterson as the winner, but then again, the first time we met Rich he did shoot a guy in the chest and was going to have Jeller killed as well, so tbh I think he shouldn’t be underestimated. But ugh it’s so cute that Patterson is desperately trying to get his collar off rather than her own, and then suddenly heeeeeeeere’s Kathy! Who is holding the collar remote threateningly in one hand while sweetly offering them snacks at the same time lol. Sh figured out it was them because of Rich showing off in interrogation and Patterson saying ‘opposite, opposite’ which I did think was a bit of a weird phrase to use lol. And ahhh Patterson calls him Rich and Kathy suddenly goes into Rich DotCom fangirl mode, and tbh I feel you on that one, sister. I would react the same. But now she’s ranting about them being brainwashed by the feds (lol at Rich telling Patterson that she did just sound like weller, awwww) and that she’s ‘saving’ them haha. Then suddenly she whips out a to-do list of hack-tivities, but instead of Robin Hood stuff, it’s more Sherriff of Nottingham stuff this time. Their arguments don’t work, which means it’s hack or zap….

Weller texts Patterson about dinner; everyone’s gathered at his and Jane’s place having drinks and hanging out and ugh they’re all so cute. And Jeller are so casually touchy and he calls her ‘my love’ and I’m seriously caught between finding that corny and super cute. Maybe both. Zapata’s playing Wizardville, which apparently Jane does too, and then they realise Reade must as well and lol Zapata’s innocent little ‘Reade?’ is so CUTE. Weller’s all “You too??” and yeppp, Sully has apparently forgotten what an American accent is haha. Oh well. I love that he goes and snuggles with Jane on the couch (aaawwwww) as they watch Zapata and Reade bicker like it’s a spectator sport hahaha. I love the sassiness omg.

Meanwhile Rich is perfecting his mime-in-a-box routine as he tries to figure out any gaps in their electric prison, and tbh that’s actually pretty brave? He probably got zapped at least a few times doing that. Patterson is trying to figure out how to get word back to the team, but Rich tells her that the only way they’ll get out of this is to go along with Kathy’s plan, because he has ‘a lot of experience with psychotic women who desire him sexually’ and lol at the disgust and annoyance on Patterson’s face and her “What is your point.” Yep, those are siblings right there.

The team are still being cute when Weller gets an email from Patterson saying she’s having dinner with Rich instead, but Zapata notices that it’s signed with her first name, WHICH NONE OF THEM ACTUALLY MENTION. TELL US THE DAMN NAME, YOU JERKS. So I guess that means that Patterson sneakily sent an email when Kathy wasn’t looking? I think that’s what they’re getting at, rather than Kathy covering her tracks by sending that to Weller so he won’t be concerned when Patterson doesn’t show up for dinner. I feel like Patterson totally has the skills to pull that off right under someone’s nose...

Back in the dungeon, the dynamic duo have picked some of the less harmful hacks to start with, including revealing some politician guy as a sex fiend (no surprises there), and Kathy gushes that watching them hack is like watching Picasso paint the Mona Lisa and lolll you can see Rich’s eyes narrow and he really wants to correct her but Patterson is already telling her to let them go, but nope Kathy wants them to crash Lowie’s private jet now, and wow she really seems to have it in for this guy. Also is it even possible to remotely crash a plane? But ohhhhhh crap, Kathy’s brother died in the train crash that Lowie caused. Well, that explains that. She tried to hand them the evidence to put him away, but now she’s taking matters into her own (or the 3 Blind Mice’s) hands. And Rich kinda seems to side with her a little bit after this revelation, causing Patterson to shoot him a look of betrayal and Kathy to beam at him. Oh man I really hope this is a ploy. Ugh Patterson is basically pleading with him not to help Kathy, to stay on their team, the good guy team, and then Kathy zaps her and ugh he’s immediately on his feet but knows he can’t do anything. He has to roll with this if he’s to save either of them and ugh I love himmmmm???

The team is at the office, trying to track down their missing buddies. Again Zapata is the one to see the clue-- the IP address the email came from is in antarctica, just like Kathy’s earlier hacks. They discover Kathy got out on bail, and then that both Patterson and Rich’s cars were found in Brooklyn. I love that they all practically run for the exit. I wonder if they’re remembering the last time Patterson was kidnapped, aka the only unlikable episode of season one?? Better hurry team, go save them! And lol conveniently they find out every place she’s ever worked and one of those happens to be an old zoo, and therefore a nice private place to keep prisoners. How lucky for them….

Poor Patterson is bound and gagged and tries to cry “Rich, no!” as he successfully hacks the jet and sets it on its collision course with the ocean. Or its fake collision course, I hope. And ugh then he and Kathy are dining together and okay why does she respond ‘kinda’ when he asks if it’s foie gras? Is she pulling a Hannibal Lecter rn??? Also I love the little red glow of the collar through his napkin lol. And then there’s a perimeter breach and Kathy is starting to freak out and so checks on the plane, only to see that it landed safely and Patterson looks at Rich in shock and HE WINKS AT HER. Look at my baby all grown up and fighting on the side of good with his lil FBI family who he lovessssss. Ughhh save me. And then omg she flips out and literally smashes the wine bottle over his head and I gasped super loud again bc do you know how hard those things are???? Ugh both Patterson and I are so worried for our bestie Rich, but meanwhile Kathy hacks the team’s car and tries to crash them?? I love their super synchronized dives out of the car lol. And then omg she literally sets everything on fire while crying over their ruined friendship hahahaha. Tbh I’d be pretty devastated if Patterson and Rich didn’t want to be friends with me too lol…. And then omgggg she is literally about to shoot Rich and Patterson tackles her, saving his life and causing herself to be electrocuted. THAT IS FAMILY RIGHT THERE. I hope Rich someday acknowledges what she did for him just then, bc ugh it was everythinggggg. Thankfully the team is there and Reade is clever enough to order Jane to find a fusebox. I love the tasks each of the team takes-- Jane cuts the power, saving Patterson, Reade arrests Kathy, Weller helps Patterson up and is checking her over all concerned, and Zapata FLICKS RICH until he comes around hahahaha. “He’s fine” lol. I love that she’s all blase about it but they would have been genuinely upset if he was seriously injured. Pretend all you like, I know you care!!

Back at base, the rest of the team calls Rich and Patterson into the conference room to tell them that Hirst wants the other mice caught, but Kathy is refusing to give up names (‘she’s a mouse, not a rat’ hahahaha), and when Reade asks why she kidnapped them, Patterson answers that she was a huge Rich DotCom fangirl, which is technically a true statement. Rich says he didn’t know that was even a thing, which is a completely untrue statement haha. And then Reade says how lucky it is that there’s no evidence whatsoever to point to who the other two are because if he knew who they were he would have to prosecute them and ugh the team has clearly agreed that this is a ‘what happens in the team stays in the team’ situation and then even literally discuss how these tattoos are about them as a group, that Roman wants to expose their secrets specifically. But they have no idea why. (Punishing Jane, no?)

Naw look at this domestic Jeller. Jane is cooking her implausible vegan lasagne, and then Kurt tells her he loves her like ten times, which is super cute but still in an Australian accent!! Sully, c’mon, lol. But ugh he runs to the shower and wants her to join and lord I do love me some established relationship… but then of course lil bro has to call and cockblock, and ugh poor Jane is so upset about how things are between them but he’s all ‘grrrrrr must punish you for making me sad grrrrrrr’ and sigh I look forward to a little bit of character growth on his part lol

Oooh Patterson calls Reade and Zapata in to the lab to listen to the Kinga recording that they got, and finds out that it's been doctored, meaning someone is hiding something. And also, through magical genius means, she figured out the tattoo that Stuart was working on relates to Van Gogh’s famous self portrait. Which is super confusing until the next scene where an ominous man threatens the Kinga CEO never to talk about doctoring the recordings, and turns away, revealing… DUN DUN DUN….. he’s missing an ear. Ooooooooohhhhh intrigue. Who is Creepy Van Gogh and what does he want with the team????

#I made it!#just #good thing I'm still a few hours ahead of the states #Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller

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