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gayspock · 1 year

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ok yj

literally everyone peacing the fuck out like i cant doooo this shittttttt, coach ben like "um... byeeee" (walks away) and misty having a panic attack bc she lowkey killed someone 2 secs ago, and then the others starting to do rituals in the corner whilst shaunas giving birth......... AND THEN the flashforwards with shauna being . kind of a terrible person... 😭 like i cant even blame her sometimes shauna you have protect #1 here come on woman

LIKE WHAT SHE SAID TO CALLIE CHRIST ALIVE and callie just sorta looking at her like um. as she realises yeah moms kinda cazzzyyyyyyyN BUT LITERALLY . IF I WAS SHAUNA I'D BE MORE THAN FUCKING CRAZY . EVERYTHING SHE WENT THROUGH. FUCKING HELL.

ok im still watching and im about to vom about coach ben just literally playing music in his head and having fantasies about playing party games with his boyfriend hes literally so dead whilst shauna fucking gives birth

UM.......

I THINK IM GOING TO HAVE A MELT DOWN WATCHING THIS

OH GOD THE NOISES OHJHHH MY GODDDD AHHHHHHHRHGHGHGHGHGHGHHG NNONOOOOO IM WATCHING IT ALL GUSH AND MUSH OUT FUCKINGGGG HELLLLLLLLLLLL JESUS CHRISTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

im also so crazy for lottie as well right now god shes so..........

can i also say. van is fucking living the life im so crazy for her little piece of the world i know what tai is saying its all a fantasy but her fucking shop i feel like my eyes are watering can you even imagine bro.......

okay wait sorry i got distracted

but fucking hell okay what i was gonna say about lottie idk okay fucking hell i hope they never confirm whether there is anything supernatural or NOT supernatural in this show i know thats a contentious topic with this right now with ppl saying either or but literally i dont think it MATTERSSS .... its about faith.......... isnt it...

oh god- OH GOD THE SECODS AFTER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE "i knew you could do it" i had a gutwrenching meltdown like fuck the parallels between that and jackie when she was passing over. the everyone surrounding her with happy faces. i thought there was going to be a fucking HORRIFIC MOMENT where that baby was so dead but also now god what the fuck bc that baby is SO HERE so now uhm. where is it. yeah.

maybe they dont eat the baby but even if it dies or if they leave it in the wilderness my god thats so fucked up but ALSO ALSO ugh my #1 WORST. FEAR. ARE The ocuntless conspiracy theorists saying that it's, like, lisa or something because i hate that on so many levels .... i dont want the baby to be anyone weve seen in the future rn bc i just. uhhhhg. i hate stupid twists like that im sorry.

anyway god back to that thing i was saying... of faith... like fuck man the ambiguity the not knowing if its real, if its not real... of whether there IS something out there. thats what makes it so powerful and what has such fucking grip on these girls because ultimately its their faith and what they put into it thats really got the chokehold ... it doesnt matterrrr if theres something supernatural or not .... imo .... and i dont think thts wishy washy - i know it COULD be, if the writing doesnt bring it back but....

like ugh idk i hatebeing a snotty guy but its so annoying when ppl are all about THE ANSWERRSS THE DEFINITE ANSWERSSSS sorry i have to listen to my coworker try to talk about this show and im like just kinda wracking my brain like who cares what the absolutes are can we enjoy the journey of these girls and their characters puh leaseeeee sniff sniff

im also so fucking crazy for jeff. i am SORRY.

"HI VAN?" (HANGS UP) YA COULDNT MAKE IT UP!

also oh god im watching shauna with this baby and my heart is breaking watchin her try to fucking handle it i cant imagineeeee and again the juxtaposition of that and her in the fucking future with callie in the police station jesus fucking CHRIST man "YOUR KID DOESNT LIKE YOU TOO MUCH DOES SHE" HELLOOOOOO

"YOU REALLY DID A NUMBER ON HER" oh my godddd

something something mothers always being these nurturing figures in fiction of being the faceless somethings in the background. osmething something shauna being fucking insane by comparison get me OUT OF HOW I ENDED UP HERE something something trapped in the wilderness being a mother cant get out something something trapped in the marriage cant get out . hey shauna are you okay

i never even wanted to be a mom i neverrrrrrrr wanted this I DID NOT START OUT A BAD PERSONNNNNNNNNNNN. SHAUNA GIRLIE leave my kid out of it leave my kid out of it COME ON MAN

kevyn with a y is a grade Y yucky loser

callie is kind of eating here btw. "that groomer cop. hes nasty." THEY KNOW THEY WERE FUCKING FREAKS

also oh my god shaunas little meltdowns cut to lottie f- hi fucking hello. HI FUCKING HELLO. LOTTIE. LOTTIE GIRL.

IS EVERYONE FUCKING NORMAL RIGHT NOW

HE NEEDS TO FEED ...

YO COACH BEN YOU NEED TO START RUNNING MAN WE NEED TO GIVE YOU A HEADSTART

CUT TO JEFF IN THE FUCKING CAR. VOM.

also my god lottie being the centre of it all like i did have my . sigh i dont know i wish lottie was MORE present in the first season in a sense like i wish there was more of her . but her being the centre and the one theyre both all "against" but also like they all have such a deep connection with her and

NATALIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE FISH

NATALIE THE FISH DIDNT FUCKING DO SHIT

COME ON NATALIE MAN

BROOOOOOOOOO

EXACTLY NATALIE HELL

natalie being so survivor and the one whos a hunter but being the one who cant fucking kill a fish and is always the oje barely surviving i love natalie

"ITS YOU AND ME KID AGAINST THE WHOLE WORLD" SHAUNA ARE YOU FUCKING ALRIGHT IN ANY CAPACITY .

oh my god that made me so- so- so-

wait

th baby isnt

okay

...

dot dot dot

umm

okay i thik im going to puke im going to cry ........

NO . NO THATS SICK WHAT I WAS SAYING WITH THE PARALLELS BEFORE AND JACKIE AND THEN HER VISIO OF THEM ALL EATING AND TH... THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE SO MUCH MORE HORRIBLE EVERYTHING

IHATE MY LIFE

#Egg.txt #yellowjackets liveblog #under a read more bc the ep just dropped and this is rambly anyway #WELL NEVERMIND I WROTE THAT WHEN I WROTE THE FIRST THING THEN I STARYTED LIVEBLOGGING

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mahalshairyballs · 2 years

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Hello 🤗yes I'm the same person who asked about Jake , I really love your essays and can't wait for you to drop the fanfic 🔥🔥

I was wondering though about jealousy with the system would they feel jealous for there SO? Or jealous about each other? Like perhaps Steven feels kinda jealous of Marc's and Layla relationship? Bc Marc would feel more comfortable telling her he loves her? Or how Layla is treating Marc with more attention because of therapy and trying to work things out after the adventure in Cairo?

Would Jake feel jealous of the other two alters bc they can feel loved???

Would Marc feel possisive and jealous over Layla when other alters spend more time with her or even another stranger flirting with her and he's terrified she's gonna prefer a more "stable'' life???

Hey hi ! 👋

Thank you so much for the kind words and reading my writing 😊 🤍🖤. I'll really try to write a fic with these!

Oof that's a big question you're asking here!

I'll try to not ramble too much when I'll answer. Fortunately I think there's a few things here I've already mentioned in my other metas so I'll just reference them.

You're reminding me of that spectrum post I want to make with that question! Since I think they'd fall under one with jealousy.

First, what is jealousy ? To me jealousy and insecurity comes from the same place, jealousy is just the more active version while insecurity is more passive. And then it can escalate to being possessive. Jealousy isn't necessarily toxic or unhealthy , most people will feel jealousy at some point in some form, it's when it becomes possessive that it becomes toxic.

So, starting with Steven

I do think Steven could feel envious of Marc & Layla's relationship and their history together that he didn't get to be a part of. They have a certain understanding, a certain chemistry that comes from their history together. Steven has to build his own with Layla which can be fun, but, even though Layla and Marc's relationship is still bumpy because of the recent events, there's still this something that Layla and Marc have that is missing with Steven's relationship with her.

So Steven could be envious of that, but not really 'jealous'. He's more insecure than actively jealous. And Marc doesn't actually feel more comfortable telling Layla he loves her, not to me anyway.

That's one thing on which Marc would be envious of Steven's relationship. Marc isn't usually distant like he was for most of the show with Layla. We know it was because he wanted to keep her at arms length that he acted that way. I think he's able to be sweet and show affection and be seductive and playful with her. But there's still a few things that are harder for him to do. Like saying how much he loves her. He would love to say it more but it's hard for him. I think he's also envious of Steven's openness and honesty.

Ep. 4

Marc : You also told her the truth, about why I've been pushing her away. That was...unexpected.

I think they'll be able to talk about those things between themselves though. That's why Marc ends up letting Steven get in a relationship with Layla.

They all need to get their ass to - good - therapy though. Including Steven. So yeah Layla will learn more about their system, and maybe understand Marc a bit better, but she'll pay attention to all of them.

Although you do have a point there. Layla - doesn't necessarily prefers - but would focus little bit more on Marc ? Because as much as she loves Steven too, and really likes Jake, Marc is the one she married. And that's for a reason (besides the fact that she didn't know the others existed of course lol). She really does love him. And that's why she was a bit bitter with him in the show. She was heartbroken.

Which brings me to

Marc

I think Marc is more jealous of his alters than he is of other people.

When others show interest for Layla, he gets a little jealous but not that much (what he'd feel internally is another story, but he doesn't show outward jealousy all that much. Just enough so that people know that he is, indeed, jealous. He might even sometimes get into involuntary dick measuring contests. )

With Steven he got a lot jealous. This jealousy is a bit hard to put in words for me. There's part of it that's very 'basal', but there's also the part of it that comes from Marc's view that Steven is 'the better of them'.

We know Marc has an abyssimal view of himself, and you're right when you said he'd be scared Layla would prefer someone more 'stable'. He wouldn't be so much scared as he'd be thinking that she deserves better than him (which, add that to the long list of reasons why he left).

This would also apply to their system. Especially during season 1. Marc left, but that didn't mean he stopped loving her, that he didn't still wish he could still be with her. And then Steven shows up, and she is introduced to him, and she's getting along great with him? While she's mad, for good reasons, at Marc? Marc can see how easily Steven could 'steal' her from him, and how she'd actually be better with Steven than with himself. So that's why he got so jealous of Steven in the show.

The fact that they didn't know each other all that well, even if Marc tried to look after Steven all their lives (he wasn't always watching him), played a big role in that too.

Now that they got each other's back and can better talk to each other, Marc does see how Steven likes her and sees that he's not necessarily a threat to his relationship with her. And Layla wants to date both and will say so.

So he'll agree they can date, but that doesn't mean he's not reluctant about it, and that his jealousy is completely gone - it's not.

Another example is with Jean-Paul. When Marc learns that Jake has started dating Jean-Paul, without telling them, Marc gets *pissed*.

And even though Marc only feels platonic feelings for Jean-Paul, he still sees it as Jake 'stealing' Jean-Paul from him. Jake is also changing their whole relationship, and it wouldn't be the same between Marc & Jean-Paul anymore (without talking about how it'll force them to come out to Jean-Paul about their disorder). So he'll react pretty similarly to how he initially reacted to Steven getting close to Layla. Maybe even worse. Because Marc's gut feeling is just to hate Jake, and not take anything he does charitably.

While Jake's dislike of Marc is part misplaced resentment that's been brewing for years, part reaction to how Marc is treating him once they finally get to talk (Jake is a lot about the 'I'll treat you how you treat me').

And now Jake

Jake's the trickiest when it comes to jealousy? At least he's the one I'm less sure about right now.

What I know is that he has the potential to become possessive of his SOs, will he though? Idk

Maybe he will initially, but he'll be able to control it better with time and therapy.

And yeah Jake would definitely be envious of Steven and Marc on some things. And he definitely would feel that need to be loved. Contrary to physical affection, which he doesn't really feel its lack in his life since it's one of many possible love languages and he just never knew it to miss it, feeling loved- in any form - is an human instinctual need. So even if he never knew it, he'd miss it. The thing is he doesn't know that's what he's feeling. Until he gets it. Then, well, my analogy for an addictive drug works here. And that's why I say he could become possessive of his SOs - whether it's from strangers or his alters it doesn't matter he would react the same.

Problem is, he's supposed to be the one in an open-relationship.

Steven x Marc x Layla are kind of in a poly relationship but it's a triad. Their relationship is closed (...until they meet Matt, but that's way in their future).

While for Jake, he's used to sleep with whoever he wants whenever he wants (because he has to take the opportunity when it presents itself since he knows he wouldn't be fronting for long). And to him sex doesn't necessarily mean anything. And I'd see Jean-Paul being fine with open-relationships, maybe having some experience in that area too.

So I think Jake would get into an open relationship with Jean-Paul (which is also easier to explain as to why they're still with Layla without outing themselves).

Jake does casually date other people (still don't know if I'll include the 'Jake gets someone pregnant' storyline from the comics...Marc would be *furious*), but the relationship that's most important to Jake, and the one he'll fall in love with, is Jean-Paul.

Being possessive and being in an open relationship doesn't work together at all though...

Some talks and changes in their relationship will be needed if it gets there.

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nat-20s · 4 years

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i woke up at 4:30 in the morning with this messy meta about the comparative horror styles of welcome to nightvale vs the magnus archives and how i like them both very much this is not a one is better than the other post because they’re DIFFERENT but also why, personally, nightvale has freaked me out more than TMA (the magnus archives- im gonna use the abbreviation from now on and in scientific papers u gotta ESTABLISH the acronym and it’s actually kind of annoying bc they’ll establish it ONCE in the abstract and then never say what XJFEFJDOSM or whatever stands for again so if ur like wait WHAT was that again u gotta scroll all the way back up and it’s a whole thing but I digress) and it has to do with WORLDBUILDING and FRAMING DEVICES and USE OF SECOND PERSON and only a little bit how if a character unironically says “innit” i automatically can’t take them seriously. Anyway it’s stuck in my head so you know I had to make it your problem. Also I’m putting this under a read more bc fjsdjlks holy shit this is gonna get LONG and RAMBLY and D E E P L Y nerdy

WORLDBUILDING, FRAMING DEVICES, AND (THE USE OF) YOU IN MANGUS AND NIGHTVALE

Part A: whose universe is it anyway? Welcome to horror where the lore is made up and the logic doesnt matter

so I am not the first or last to compare (/maybe wanna crossover a little) the worlds of

wtnv (welcome to nightvale) and TMA and like for good reason bc in many ways they feel very similar but in TMA it’s like What the FUCK is going on with all of these horrors and nightmarish scenarios I am FREAKED out where as WTNV treats it’s horrors as typically mundane which

A: plays into why when WTNV is like “remember how we’re a horror :)” it’s like OH SHIT bc if Jon Archivist is scared you’re like well yeah it’s scary out there but if CECIL PALMER, general attitude of a peppy cheerleader when facing terrors beyond imagination, is scared, you KNOW shit is FUCKED

B: isn’t entirely accurate, because I don’t actually feel like they are set in the same world. here’s where things get sticky when it comes to realities and whatnot but I do wanna stress that yes I know WTNV and TMA are both works of fictions BUT I would personally say that

TMA is set in a parallel universe: a reality that’s similar to our own but also distinctly separate from anything that we, the audience, can witness but never participate in

WTNV is set in a hidden universe: it is set in our (the listeners) own reality, and is done in such a way that it feels like if you looked hard enough for it or if you just had a bout of bad luck or if you happen to drive down a certain road in a long stretch of US desert (side note: if there’s any real life place nightvale would be set in it’s definitely new mexico have you ever been in new mexico it’s called land of ENCHANTMENT for a reason if I drove into new mexico and drove back out a few days later and like THIRTY YEARS had passed I’d be like yeah that tracks) that you could end up in the reality of nightvale. Who’s to say there’s not a faceless old woman secretly living in your house? Are you sure there’s nothing odd in your mirror? Who can ever be sure time is working correctly?

Which brings me to

Part B: You(yes, you!)’ve Been Framed!

Listen. I fucking love a good framing device. Every time a podcast is like “here’s why the events of the story are recorded in the world of the story” I go bonkers in yonkers that shit SLAPS. TMA and WTNV both do this, but (at least up to ep 176 of TMA, this whole fuckin essay could still be blown out the water) TMA’s framing device doesn’t account for an audience, where as WTNV’s the audience is a core component

the framing device of TMA is that these spooky stories are being recorded by an archivist in order to have an audio version of written statements. Cool! It tells the audience why these recordings exist, and why they’re episodic. Later in the story, the tapes begin to spontaneously show up because of Spooky Reasons that have yet to be Fully Revealed, but it still isn’t for an audience. When Jon Archivist records these tapes, they’re basically being recorded for a Void. Yes, the tapes are originally for a potential researcher to listen to, but that ain’t you chief. You are not part of the narrative (so far at least! Again, maybe the audience will be brought into the story when it’s revealed What’s Up with the spontaneous tapes, but so far nah), there’s no in universe explanation for why you personally are listening to these stories. You aren’t present in the story, in the framing device, so you are not a part of that world.

The framing device of WTNV is that you are tuning into the community radio of a small desert town, Nightvale, that you are a part of. After all, if you are tuning into something local, you’re strongly implied to be local. Thus, we have a framing device that explains both why it’s recorded AND why you’re listening. The audience is absolutely involved in the narrative rather than a simple spectator. Cecil Palmer is not recording into a Void, he’s talking to listeners of which you are a part of. (side note: this makes nightvale liveshows SUPER fun if u get an opportunity to go to one I HIGHLY recommend it bc while there’s not ‘audience participation’ in the classic sense of like magic or comedy acts the narrative IS constructed in a way that you feel less like a witness of a story and more of a participant like the one I went to most of us pulled our legs onto out chair bc oh SHIT maybe there IS an escaped librarian under your chair making a grab for your feet SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF IS FUN AS HELL YALL)

These framing devices are enforced and enhanced upon by who the “you” in a narrative is.

In TMA, when there’s a “you” being referred to, when there’s a listener, it’s usually an in universe character. When there’s lines like “i’m sorry, that’s not what you came here to listen to” it’s not referring to you personally, it’s talking to Jon Archivist or Gertrude Archivist or Insert Archival Assistant. When TMA does use a more general “you”, it’s still in universe rather than the external listening to audience. You can include yourself as part of that general you, but it’s not inherently built into the narrative. If you want to distance yourself, you can also do that. You are not automatically in this world, even if much of it feels repeatable and/or similar

WTNV sometimes uses you to refer to an in universe character, because conversations do happen, but in the episodes where it’s like LMAO THIS IS A HORROR, the “you” and general second person is actively both discussing a known character and the listener personally. One of the most recent episodes, ep 171 “Go to the Mirror?” is a BRILLIANT example of this, where Cecil is simultaneously discussing himself and his experiences AND you as well. There’s something he can only see in the mirror, something with such sharp claws, on his shoulders, but it’s also something you personally can only see in the mirror, something on your shoulder. You are not exempt from the story, you can’t be exempt from the story, because you’ve always been a part of it. (Also side note go to the mirror is SO fuckign good it made my heart fuckin POUND the amount of times that despite knowing it was fiction I looked over my shoulder so many times. I know a shit ton of people listened to WTNV in like 2012/13 and dropped off and felt guilty and never caught up again but like. Catch up on nightvale it’s good for body and soul and also Cecilos just keep winning)

WAY too long; didn’t read: to me personally while I LOVE both TMA and WTNV, WTNV is scarier to be because TMA feels like a story that you’re bearing witness to (also thank god british people aren’t real and were made up for the Peppa Pig Cinematic Universe), WTNV feels not just like a story that you could be in but actively already are and that makes things SPOOKY

Also this isn’t related to the essay but shout out to whoever first decided that horror narrators should have nice even voices we really all be soothed by some grisly ass stories the amount of people that fall asleep to WTNV/TMA is WILD

#wtnv #tma #this essay is for me and me alone #and it's basically like go to the mirror? that wild sun of a gun sure is SCARY

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jamesttiberius · 6 years

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It's your Rebel's gifter! So I actually had to scrap two scenes because they didn't quite fit the prompt (they were mostly just angst, not enough fluff) but I'm almost done with the two new scenes! After that it's just two weeks of pure editing (and I will need every spare minute I have of those two weeks...) Totally on accident, but all these scenes take place during Season 1. What's your favorite episode from season 1?

ah wow im gonna be so #blessed by this fic i can feel it now

also ahhh season one is sO gooD i love it so much i can’t pick just one so here have an essay about my favorite season 1 eps (it got kind of long & rambly & a bit off topic, so it’s under the read more)

1. rise of the old masters

i lovE this episode. we’re still so early on in kanan and ezra’s relationship that it shows them struggling to figure out how they’ll fit together. i kind of wish we got a little more of the emotion behind their insecurities & the episode’s events, but it’s still so good. i can only imagine what kanan’s thinking between trying to teach ezra when he’s still basically a padawan and with the knowledge that they might have found another jedi who’s still alive (only to find out she’s dead, and i beT he kinda falls back into how he felt right after all the jedi were killed w/ order 66 woW im f i n e). and then when ezra is like on the edge of tears bc he thinks kanan doesn’t want him he kind of just yells “i don’t want anyone else, i want you!” and i DIE

2. out of darkness

it’s been a while since i watched this one, but there’s so much to love about it, between sabine trying to adjust to this new family dynamic and hera slowly getting more into the rebellion and sabine’s like minor teen angst™ bc she feels like kanan and hera don’t trust her enough to keep her in the loop. i wonder how those first few weeks with ezra went for her, with suddenly having 95% of kanan’s attention diverted to this new street rat they picked up. and then her and hera find themselves in a spot of trouble but they’re so good at working together and defending themselves and hera loves her art space daughter so much and that hot second where they think they won’t make it out woW so much

3. path of the jedi

honestly this episode is such a gift and it’s usually the first one i think about with season one like. wow. so so good. ezra’s trials against the vision of the inquisitor are so interesting like he hasn’t know kanan for very long but then suddenly this image of him dies and ezra’s like so. ugh. it hurts but it’s so good. aND THEN kanan with the inquisitor fucK ME that’s so gooD damn when he grabs the second lightsaber (i love jar’kai soO mucH) and then he’s fighting with a bluE AND a rEd one (i kind of wish that had more of a symbolic meaning in the show but alas it was still badass) and he’s basically like lol u aint gonna touch ezra, not while im alive and im SO emotional (also??? the inquisitor?? being a temple guard???? wtf dave????? where’s the explanation for thaT)

4. fire across the galaxy

(ok sidenote but also like. rebel resolve ending with hera saying mustafar is where the jedi go to die like excuse mE DAVE explain urself hoe)

while i usually think of path of the jedi first, if i had to just pick one season 1 episode, it would probably be fire across the galaxy bc wOW so many things happen like i think this is the first time we finally see the ghost fam working together cohesively and not fighting with each other and im so proud of them ughhh. also kanan wow @ tarkin & the grand inquisitor get away from my space dad and @ my treacherous brain lets noT wonder what kanan was thinking about to keep himself in line & like, sane im so hurt. and then ezra breaks him out and they run into the grand inquisitor and ezra gets hurt and falls off the gangway and kanan thinks hes dead and im alSO DEAD he’s so. alsdjfsdlf i can’t accurately express how i feel about how kanan goes fro 0 to 100 immediately and like. shit. the inquisitor stands nO chance wow fuck me up. anD THEN MY DAUGHTER AHSOKA like ok. the episode just kind of ends before we get to what could have been the reAL GOOD shit bc like. 1 - kanan and ahsoka def knew of each other at the temple and probs met a few times & kanan probably was aware of her trial and then her leaving so like. there’s that nice thought to consider, but also like. my guy just spent like days(? probably) being tortured by the empire & those little orbs don’t look like a good time and electrocution is not good?? so i will bet money that kanan just like. sees ahsoka and sees his family safe and just drops right off and doesn’t wake back up until he’s in the medbay (and also ezra like. should see a doctor too) (the wonderful brilliant amazing @inconocible did a v nice post-fatg fic & im working on one too bc i live for hurt/comfort anywaY)

yeah anyways i really love rebels and also season one has so much good shit in it that’s probably more than you wanted to know but i love so much

#rebels exchange ask

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timelessbian · 4 years

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hi it me again. IVE SAW AOTW. Physically I'm like. Fine. Emotionally? I've been laying face down on the floor ever since. Also whY ARE YOU APOLOGISING FOR A RANT?? IT'S WHAT I WANTED >:3 God there's just. So much to say about this ep!! I don't even have the WORDS, words reduced to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. So. Thoughts?

ADHFSJDFH hi again!! sorry that it’s taken me a while to respond; i’ve been really busy with moving and everything the past few days, but i really wanted to answer this before the finale bc i have Many Fears asngjsjdjbvhdsbfvhbsa

under a cut again bc this is rambling and probably incoherent, but let’s go!!

my first thought is that i LOVED the episode. from the animation to the storytelling to the voice acting that made me cry...this was an absolute highlight of an episode. they packed SO MUCH into like 20 minutes and i have so much love for everyone who works on this show i just can’t, it’s so good!!

also i feel like i conveyed this in my last rant, but i think lilith is such a well-written character, and not to be That Bitch, but the fact that the majority of the fandom really just full on lost their minds on her is literally kind of hilarious. like...i am a female villain stan first and a human second. i am simply vibing ashvhbdfhvbhdb.

i feel like a lot of people have said this better than i could at this point, but i think there’s be a redemption arc coming. most of eda and lilith’s interactions prior to 1x18 really played up the love that still exists beneath the tension. the sisters still clearly love each other, but obviously so much has happened between them that they could never have had any kind of true resolution without the secret of the curse coming out. lilith’s been carrying her guilt for years and at least with it out in the open, they can maybe start to reconcile. (obviously this would need to be a very long process, and even if lilith is working hard for it, eda (and luz!) aren’t under any obligation to forgive her for anything) (also full disclosure: i’m a lil bit biased on the sister thing bc my current original project has a sister set in a similar situation with similar vibes to lilith and eda (coincidentally, i swear!), and i know i’m writing them a fitting reconciliation, so i’m hoping the show will give me the same lol)

also, i know this is something i covered in my last rant, but there is clearly SO MUCH MORE to lilith’s story. she clearly feels guilty and genuinely seems to want to try to help eda, but i think she’s been so completely under the emperor’s thumb for so long that it’s going to take a major betrayal by him to get her to realize just how far she’s gone. again, this isn’t excusing anything she’s done, but i think that s2 could really delve into the relationship between the sisters more (which could play well with an arc in which amity has to reconcile with the reality of the emperor’s coven given that lilith is her mentor). what was the final straw that split the sisters? what was their relationship really like before the curse?? can we get lilith eventually coming around to be the cool goth aunt of the owl fam??? @ dana terrace i want answers!!!

as for my thoughts moving into the finale, i’m predicting that lilith is going to realize that the emperor has been lying to her the whole time, and that she’ll make some kind of big sacrifice so that eda and luz can escape, whether it’s her position or her magic (or her life, but i really don’t think they’re going to go that way) and she’s going to have to figure out who she is without the emperor controlling her. (okay, random thought that i literally JUST had typing this out: what if she loses her magic and has to start learning with glyphs like luz or something like that?? i have 0 evidence to support that, but it’s just a thought i guess)

also, i don’t really have thoughts about this stuff, but i’m a fan of the ‘lilith is also cursed’ theory, even if it’s just a side effect of casting such a powerful curse or something like that. i’m not into the idea of belos being their dad (i’m still lukewarm on him being related to luz though. if the whole ‘camilia is azura’ theory pans out, maybe he’s camilia’s father and luz’s grandfather or something? idk, but i’m interested in how it’ll play out! i don’t think belos will be dying in this ep, so i think there’ll be a lot to unpack there next season. also just everything related to the palismen, and in particular owlbert vs lilith’s raven. give me more palisman lore immediately!!

really the tl;dr of it all is that i know hating lilith is the popular opinion rn but ummm....evil raven lady go brrr you know? i am TERRIFIED for the finale, but i’m also so beyond excited for it because i know even if it makes me cry (again) it’ll be well worth it, and i hope that the hiatus before s2 isn’t too long because i don’t know what i’ll do with myself lmao. (i mean, i do have a half-finished angst fic that i’m holding to finish until after the ep just in case, but i’m just gonna be vibing until the new season ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so yeah, those are my thoughts as they stand right now. thank you so much for indulging me!! my roommate whomst does not watch the show is probably sick of hearing about it by now, so i love having an outlet to scream lmao. i don’t know when you’re reading this, but as of writing this, it’s only about 2 hours until the finale drops online, so i am Afraid and i’ll probably be face down on the floor immediately after i finish it. feel free to come back and scream after the finale bc i’m already sure i’ll be screaming!! anyway, luv you anon, and i suppose i’ll see you on the other side sbhbvdbavjs <33

#i literally cannot believe i am this on edge for a finale like i have predictions but idk they could pull the rug out from under me #less than 2 hours i'm bracing myself lmao #anyway thank you for coming back anon ilysm and i'm always down to scream about toh let's go!!#toh #asks #anon

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