#waywth

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

You’ve been missed. Hoping that all is well.

PERSONALLY, all is very well, thank you for remembering us here at WAYWTH Corp. 💗

PROFESSIONALLY, our CFO unfortunately invested all of our corporate capital into bitcoin and promptly embezzled it — so we’ve been restructuring our organization and courting investors from the craft rooms of our collective mothers’ basements. In light of this, WAYWTH blog is on hiatus while we attempt to secure funding or track down our CFO. We think she might be living in Montenegro under an assumed name. Thank you for your understanding at this difficult and embarrassing time. The only way out is through.

WAYWTH would also like to wish everyone a very happy and safe Pride, especially Tom Hardy and his Crocs.

#what are you wearing tom hardy #tom hardy #what are you wearing #waywth #men's fashion #bi pride #happy pride 🌈

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

It’s been a helluva year for all of us, Tom Hardy.

#tom hardy #what are you wearing tom hardy #waywth #the deepest of vees #are those shorts velour? #never change tom hardy #2020 has been wild

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Special lockdown edition of WAYWTH brought to you by the senior eds’ cabin fever and intense boredom:

WAYDTH - What Are You Doing, Tom Hardy?

We find ourselves in 'unprecedented' times. Pleeeeease, media types, find a word other than 'unprecedented' to describe the times we are in — ‘apocalyptic’? ‘biblical’? ‘a massive shitstorm’? In such times, we turn to the familiar, the comforting, even the ridiculous — all conveniently packaged up in one 42-year-old British actor, keeper of the most awful tats of his generation as well as even worse muscle shirts: TOM HARDY.

It's hard to conjure what Tom Hardy might be wearing as he pings about his larger-than-average estate in East Sheen, London, like a small jujitsu-ing Shih-Tzu on steroids but you can bet it's designed for comfort, not style. Much like the rest of us, he is likely sporting stained trackie bottoms, very bad self-trimmed hair, and a 3-day-unwashed T-shirt.

Maybe he's mixing things up by donning the suit jacket from the Dunkirk premiere over his favourite pink muscle shirt, paired with those billowy blue pants he wore to the gym a few months ago. On his feet, the lo-cut Chucks from the "I'm a fucking handsome little leprechaun" photoshoot. Maybe he's wearing ALL his mala beads at once and sporting an Alfie Solomons beard of epic proportions, with a bald Bronson head. Perhaps he’s even got James Delaney’s top hat perched atop his dome at a rakish angle.

Or, maybe he’s just nekkid? If so, that's one celeb lockdown IG selfie we WOULD appreciate. Much like how we know fuck all about COVID-19, we just don't know what Tom Hardy’s wearing. And that's hard. 

We miss you, Tom Hardy. We even miss the begrudging fan photos in which you inexplicably point at people and make the DeNiro face, as if anyone is looking at anyone who is standing next to you.

But we turn to the point of this missive: What is he DOING all day, trapped inside with his wife and todlets? A self-confessed workaholic, with the attention span of a gnat, who says he doesn't read, doesn't watch films, and has a vape habit he should be giving up before he gets popcorn lung ... maybe he's rearranging his lanyard collection? Or polishing up his midlife crisis motorbikes that are absolutely too risky to ride right now.

Or maybe he's rolling about in a miasma of dog hair and farts with his kids, trying to not go mad, like the rest of us. We hope so. Stay safe. Stay home. Post pics.

RATING: Points system temporarily furloughed without pay, much like the WAYWTH staff, due to impending apocalypse. But: 0 Tommys out of 5 for a hideous, imaginary, mismatched outfit

#what are you wearing #whatareyouwearingtomhardy #what are you wearing tom hardy #WAYWTH #swanning around like you're al capone #hippity-hoppity clown shoes #petition for Tom Hardy to post a photo of his quarantine outfit without deleting it 20 seconds later FFS #tom hardy in a suit #Tom Hardy #tom hardy is ruining my life #somewhere on tom hardy’s body is a tattoo of a dolphin jumping over a soccer ball #bad tattoos #alla the mala #let's all call him tommy like we know him #the softer side of WAYWTH #tom hardy in a tracksuit #it's me I'm Cathy what's up with your haaaaaaaa-aaa-aaaair? #not nice enough to earn a Tommy #gone feral #how many malas is too many malas

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Definitely the Hottest Guy at the Farmers Market

We had to crack open the vault for this one. Tom Hardy, the finest cabbage quibbler of his generation, is apparently too busy these days to be photographed in anything other than gym clothes. Hence, this series of images from a farmers market taken back in 2009.

At first, it looks like Tom might be hawking the cabbage? Can you handle it??? Indeed, what an honor it would be to buy a crucifier from Tom Hardy! Think of it: His small but well-formed hands lovingly cradling the hefty head as he passes it to you — just so you can take it home and turn it into farts. What a dream.

Ultimately, however, it looks like Tom had a change of heart and took the cabbage for himself. Whatcha gonna do with all that ‘bage, Tom? Are you sure you can handle all that? We love a man who knows how to handle a lot of cabbage.

Our favorite part of this photo set is the notion that he bought one (1) cabbage and fucked off back to his car to have a smoke. Where are the rest of his veggies? What about his shopping bags? Who goes to the market for one cabbage? Does he have someone to carry cabbages for him? Is that, like, a job? Could I carry his groceries professionally? I’ve been doing it for myself for free-fifty-nine/lb. for years — it would be a dream to get paid to carry produce for a hunk.

+1 for a lovely and (seemingly) genuinely gleeful smile
 +1 for that tweed derby jacket (we do love a tweed over here at WAYWTH) 
 +1 for queuing patiently behind other shoppers like a good boy

RATING:
 3 Tommys out of a possible 5

(Bonus pic: A very cute young lady gazing lovingly at the back of the head of the hottest guy who has EVER gone to a farmers market … like, ever. She’s no fool.)

#the hottest guy at the farmers market #Tom Hardy #tweed #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #cabbage carryin' hunks #WAYWTH #one time a WAYWTH commenter suggested that TH intentionally dresses down as to not steal attention from his wife #let's all call him tommy like we know him #what do you mean cabbage doesn't make you windy?

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Request (you knew this was coming..) It's about the photo of Tom wearing what seems to be a white, shortsleeved turtleneck, all while looking dreamily into the camera and showing off the tattoos. It has a very strange effect on me (I'm turned on! But also SO MAD at him! - wait, is this normal?) and now I'm wondering what you think.

Cancel the Turt Alert

We just blew 80% of the R&D budget tracking down this image, so we here at WAYWTH hope (corporately) that this is the image in question. Even if it’s not, it’s the one we’re going to discuss.

Although a white short-sleeved turtleneck sounds alarmingly like something a young Tom Hardy, finest reluctant model of his generation, might be styled in, it’s our belief here at HQ that this garment is in fact a plain white tee. An undershirt, if you will, that has been twisted by position and circumstance, and the grace of the fates. (Read: It’s scrunched up.)

Unfortunately for young Tom Hardy, the t-shirt’s sleeve has revealed the truth of his folly: arguably the shittiest of his many shit tattoos. Possibly his first tattoo, this feisty leprechaun — coincidentally, also the monicker awarded to the penis of the WAYWTH art director’s first lover — is the mascot/logo for the American university of Notre Dame.

This brings up so many related questions: Why Notre Dame? As reported, Tom Hardy, finest mama’s boy of his generation, honors his mother’s Irish heritage with this monstrosity — it is notre dame after all — but in that case, why not something ... actually Irish? Instead of something that categorically annoys and embarrasses Ireland? Who did this monstrosity upon Tom’s tender young arm meat, and why didn’t anyone in his life advise him against it? Why didn’t anyone say, no, Tom, anything but that, Tom? Also, what does the lettering above the leprechaun say? While he was getting the lettering covered up with some tribal design/sow’s ear, why didn’t the tattoo artist just throw in the leprechaun, as well?

While we can relate to your condition, @mispunt — Tom Hardy also puts us into a state of horny confusion, thirst with a dash of anger — we’re afraid that our answer for you has only produced more questions.

#tom hardy #what are you wearing tom hardy #what are you wearing #waywth #submission #mispunt #tomhardy #turt alert #when your t shirt shrinks vertically but not horizontally #notre dame football #fightin’ irish #what those lips do #skeevy stasche #obviously still would but come on #one time a waywth commenter suggested that th intentionally dresses down as to not steal attention from his wife #they lost us at ‘tom hardy intentionally dresses’ #somewhere on tom hardy’s body is a tattoo of a dolphin jumping over a soccer ball #plain white t's #the leprechaun #bad tattoos

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

The Necklace Edition: When 10 Necklaces Just Aren't Enough

How many malas is too many malas? Tom Hardy may never know. 

Tom Hardy does not merely “wear a necklace.” Oh no — he wears ALL of the necklaces. Who would not want to be in the Hardy dressing room of a morning as he makes his choice? "Hm, mala beads, crucifix, leather with medallion, the shark tooth, a curtain tassel, the thing my kid made out of penne pasta and paint? Nyaaaah, fuck it — ALL OF THEM!" 

A lesser man might be worn by that many necklaces but not Tom Hardy! As with many of his (cough) unconventional fashion choices, he is unrepentant. That's how he gets away with it and that's why the staff team here at WAYWTH love him so much. 

Plus, anything which accentuates that neck is OK with us. Take note. (Also, if you are ever in a capsizing canoe with Tom Hardy wearing the selection in pic 3, be sure to grab him quick, that much wood will bob to the surface quicker than you can chant: "Om Mani Padme Hum.")

+ 4 pts - one point for every 2.5 necklackes

Rating:  4 Tommys out of a possible 5

#tom hardy #waywth #mensnecklaces #givesussomethingtoholdonto #onlytomhardycangetawaywiththis #all the necklaces #neck party #never change Tom Hardy #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #men's fashion #men's accessories #We'd like to bob to HIS WOOD'S surface if you know what we mean. #no really do you know what we mean? #because we don't #how many malas is too many malas #men's jewelry

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

The Series in Which We Talk About the Wig Situation*

Pt. 1: The REAL Heights Didn’t Even Wuther as Much as That Wig Wuthered Tom Hardy has a notoriously adversarial relationship with wigs, but he was in the fight of his life with the wig in BBC’s Wuthering Heights. It practically deserved its own credit in the title sequence, the way it was chewing up the scenery and upstaging a LITERAL GHOST GIRLFRIEND (as well as Andrew Lincoln, legendary chewer of sceneries).  Check out how Heathcliff’s hair always looks like it’s trying to get away from him. Or maybe Tom is trying to get away from the wig? From the look on his face in the above image, it looks as though Tom was aware that the wig has the upper hand. He had to beat it into submission with the help of a professional before he can even think about taking a dirt nap with his true love, a dead person.

(Side note: Not to diss too hard on the wig wrangler, who was clearly just doing their job, but their hair is ... eerily similar to Heath’s. Coincidence? WE THINK NOT.)  +1 because [SPOILER ALERT] the wig offs itself in the end Rating: 1 Tommy Out of a Possible 5 * Thank you to @zigster-ao3 for this submission, and sending us so many images of Tom Hardy in Wigs that we can’t even fit them into one post. Stay tuned for more bad wigs.

#wuthering heights #submission #zigster-ao3 #spoilers #Tom Hardy #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #WAYWTH #it's me I'm Cathy what's up with your haaaaaaaa-aaa-aaaair? #the wig sitch #oh no #heathcliff #emily bronte wept

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

THE "TUDOR KING AT LEISURE" EDITION

We at WAYWTH are feeling a little like Tom Hardy in a wind tunnel right now: blown away. Our beards are RUFFLED. (Did you even SEE those photos!?)

When this picture emerged of Tom Hardy rocking a hot and heavy King Henry VIII vibe, in what can only be described as a robe fashioned from your grandma's best drapes, it was wholly disturbing to realise that we still wanted to sneak under that monstrosity and just... snuggle. Off with our underpants heads!

Seemingly birthed from the same Greg Williams photoshoot which produced the infamous Gucci Tracksuit From Hell shots (see previous WAYWTH post) we can only wet dream about what else might emerge as time goes on. We're feeling it.

Tom Hardy you are kingly, mate. Fackin' REGAL.

-1 Tommy for subjecting one foot-phobic staff member to bare feet (yeah mate, even yours)

RATING: 4 Tommys out of 5 for sheer regal sexiness while wearing curtains.

#tom hardy #waywth #yer granny's curtains #king henry viii was a fuckboy #brocade chic #envelope us in that shit #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #men's boudoir fashion #let's all call him tommy like we know him #tudor my cooter

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

This blog is so important I don't know how I survived without it? Thank you for devotion and work wow

Thank you very much for your enthusiastic support for WAYWTH, Inc. I’ve CC’d  payroll in this missive and they’ve advised me that your influencer cheque should arrive via Royal Post some time in the next 30 to 9000 business days. Thanks again!

#WAYWTH #fan mail #the cheque is coming from the UK as you can see from the spelling #the cheque is also imaginary #but the positive reinforcement is real and really appreciated #what are you wearing tom hardy #duckhouse

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Casual Fridays: Do’s and Don’ts A recent experiment in Casual Fridays here at WAYWTH HQ alerted us to the realization that one can, in fact, be too casual. 

Charlotte Riley, here? Casual, yet put together. We would go so far as to say her look here is “effortlessly chic.” We don’t even say “chic” but something about that black bodysuit and cardigan combo with the matching leather on the braided belt and boots is ... come on, that’s chic.  Rating: Charlotte Riley: 5 Tommys out of a possible 5, +1 additional Tommy if you count the ACTUAL person

But, Tom Hardy, finest hot dad mess of his generation, is TOO CASUAL. He crossed a line. So, why is he smiling? Because he knows. He knows he crossed it. He just doesn’t give a fuuuuuuuuuck. Saggy tank top? Sure thing. Mala convention around his neck? You betcha. And the never-ending parade of bracelets and the dad sneaks — and, buddy, did you find that dress shirt crumpled up in the back seat of the Audi or what?

+1 for the hair +1 for the vacation beard Rating: Tom Hardy: 2 Tommys out of a possible 5 

#she like to chicc #into the holiday beard tho #quick tom! your wife is pulling focus #one time a WAYWTH commenter suggested that TH intentionally dresses down as to not steal attention from his wife #WAYWTH's official comment on that is that you lost us at TH intentionally dresses #too caj #Tom Hardy #Charlotte Riley #I can't stop looking at Charlotte in these photos #omg his plan WORKED #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #WAYWTH

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Find us on WordPress with this shitty URL:

http://waywth.wordpress.com

All of the interns have called in sick so they could back up their own Tumblrs. Please pardon our dust as we remodel.

#WAYWTH #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #tom hardy #never change Tom Hardy #juggling #stress balls #Charlotte Riley #men's quote fashion unquote

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Do you know the necklace/pendant he is wearing?

Sorry for the delay in responding. Covid staff cutbacks have absolutely decimated our research department. We literally no longer know our ass from a hole in the ground.

In lieu of an answer from WAYWTH, because we have no fuckin’ clue, let’s crowdsource this. Our readers are genius know-it-alls, so perhaps one of them can scour the internet for what sort of pendant this is. And where it is available for purchase.

And can hook us up with a referral link.

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

The Garden Party

From WAYWTH junior contributor @briannamccarthy: Garden party up top, ultra rad dad jeans with a trucker cap rolled up in the back pocket on the bottom.

Thank you to our stalwart and very patient junior contributor, Brianna, for reminding us of Tom Hardy’s Perpetual Schism: How does a posh boy attend a tony event while remaining street?

As the subsequent photos reveal, one would rightfully surmise from the submitted first image that Tom Hardy, the finest posh-but-street chameleon of his generation, is wearing a pair of trail runners. The trainers, combined with jeans that are simultaneously fussy AND ill-fitting (has he got a fanny pack under them jeans? Does Tom Hardy have a FUPA??), make us think that he might do a runner. (American Editor note: That’s British for “make a run for it” — not sex with a sprinter.) Either that, or he’s about to engage a royal in a game of tag.

Who would challenge Prince Harry to a footrace at an Audi-sponsored polo event, if not Tom Hardy? Look no further than the following images for irrefutable proof.

Image 1: Tom Hardy, uncomfortably standing around waiting for Prince Harry to notice him. Image 2: Tom Hardy and Prince Harry trying to chat amiably while everyone stares at them in disbelief: Is the prince still growing or is Tom Hardy just … kinda … a shortcake? Image 3: Tom Hardy jokingly asks Prince Harry if he thinks he could beat him in a 50-meter dash. Harry laughs, too — a little too riotously and a little too long. It takes him a moment to collect himself. Image 4: In the end, Prince Harry politely declines “a race,” as he’s wearing fancy pirate boots. In turn, he indelicately asks if Tom Hardy actually wore his trainers to a place where there would be photographers on purpose, or did he assume he would only be photographed from the waist up? Maybe he left his big boy shoes in the car. That’s when Tom Hardy grips the prince’s arm so hard that the royal’s affable grin turns to a strained grimace. The race will be run. Oh yes, it shall. But not with cameras around.

+ 3 for looking like an absolute god from the nips up -1 for the pre-creased jeans and the trainers - 1 for the rolled-up (and presumably camo) trucker hat in the back pocket, weird place to hang a pair of sunglasses — and wtf, mate, is that a swiss army knife on your belt?! 

Rating:  3 Tommys out of a possible 5

#let's all call him tommy like we know him #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #Tom Hardy #Prince Harry's pirate boots #prince harry and meghan markle #posh boys #posh chav #OBVIOUSLY still would but come on #Prince Harry x Tom Hardy fanfic #Can you beat a royal in a footrace? Well can ya Tom? #polo #prince harry #submission #big boy shoes

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Submission: The Disappearing/Reappearing Hardy Cardy

From plucky WAYWTH contributor @briannamccarthy:

But did the cardi come first or did it come after someone realised that shirt wasn’t pressed?

The Disappearing/Reappearing Hardy Cardy

The date: March 14, 2012, aka the salad days of Tom Hardy

The scene: Photo opp for a thing with Prince Charles

The lewk: Sunburned in gray (unmatching) tweed, rumply dress shirt with no undershirt (drool), a mysteriously recurring sapphire-blue cardigan, brown leather accents, and omfg are those elbow patches?! (RIP WAYWTH 2018-2019)

The beard: Unruly and decidedly ginger. It just was taken on a really nice holiday somewhere sunny and windswept but now it’s back in London. It came out to have fun but honestly it’s feeling so attacked right now. That beard is chill as hell, y’all. Put those clippers down. Leave Beardney alone!!!

Rating: 4 Tommys Out of a Possible 5

(fight us on that missing Tommy rank; if he matched the jacket to the pants, it might be a perfect score!)

#Tom Hardy #tom hardy in a suit #never change Tom Hardy #We'll never be royals #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #leave Beardney alone! #Men in suits #men's fashion #tom hardy in a cardi #hardy cardy #if this gives us our second Tumblr strike we'll see you on wordpress #submission

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

There was a rare unanimous agreement in the WAYWTH office today over this outfit: the Tommiest of Tommy Hardy ensembles. The result of a man left to his own devices, gone feral, with unfettered access to old, stained track pants, brocelets, camo backpacks, lanyards with a million dangling keys, giant vape pens and ancient trucker/basebro caps. Yeah, fine, so he'd just chased down and apprehended a moped thief, like some kind of hobo Tuck Hansen, but he could at least have had the courtesy to, y'know, smarten up a bit first?

+1 because the waistband on those track pants looks mighty blown out. When our trousers fall down, it’s comedy. When Tom Hardy drops trou, it’s international news. He’d probably be knighted for it. - 74 for appearing with what appears to be a gloppy, undissolved mystery solution in a plastic squirty bottle because it makes us want to barf.

Rating: 1 Tommy out of a Possible 5 Tommys for aesthetics Ten hundred Tommys for being The Absolute Tommiest

#never change Tom Hardy #Tom Hardy #what are you wearing #what are you wearing tom hardy #brocelets #haute couture lanyards #are any of those the key to my house? #trucker hat

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

We have to report that when these recent images of Tom Hardy appeared in Esquire, there was a mass swooning incident at the WAYWTH offices, with several of the senior members of the team having to be revived with smelling salts, for crying out loud. It was that serious. 

It’s hard to know where to begin, and we’re rarely lost for words, but oh lord, that first image, with its killer combo of perfect tailoring and the expression on Tom Hardy’s face that tells us we’ve all been very, very bad, and yes, he’s rolling up his sleeves to teach us a lesson (FOREARM PORN RIGHT THERE) — that image is hard to resist and may fuel certain fantasies for some time to come.  OK, there is a touch of thuggish cabin crew to this outfit, but who wouldn’t want Tom Hardy (inexplicably wearing two watches) serving them champagne in business class? Yeah, not us. Best upgrade ever!

Moving swiftly and salaciously on to pic 2, the sight of Tom in perfectly cut Belstaff jeans and leather jacket, astride a beautiful classic motorbike is almost too much to bear. UGH! (Despite the strange addition of ... what the hell? Yellow gardening gloves?!)

And finally, finally! After all that meaty goodness, look! It’s Tom Hardy, all in green, like a perfectly dressed Gucci woodland nymph perched atop a fence, beatific smile and all. It will take the WAYWTH staff a long time to recover from these images, but when we do, there is that horrific Gucci tracksuit to contend with. You know the one. Stay tuned, people.

Meanwhile, we’ll be smoking a post-O cigarette in a darkened room.  

Bravo, Tom Hardy. Bra-fucking-vo.

RATING:

It’s a maximum 5 Tommys out of 5. 

#Tom Hardy #whatareyouwearingtomhardy #men's suits #tom hardy perfection #woodland nymph #we've all been bad and tom hardy will punish us #two watches?