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shawnjacksonsbs · 3 years

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A Touch of "Madness"

or is it,

The Feels for the "Mad"? 9-5-21

"If Sally had been in an accident or come down with some overtly physical disease, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him about it, confident that his sympathies would flow in my direction as a matter of course. But psychosis defies empathy; few people who have not experienced it up close buy the idea of a behavioral disease. It has the ring of excuse, a license for self-absorption on the most extreme scale. It suggests that one chooses madness and not the other way around." – from the book I am currently reading, Hurry Down Sunshine by Michael Green berg

Chooses madness (?), as a matter of course. . . (I) shall choose the mad for sure. The love found in the heart of the “mad” is probably of a higher caliber, better quality anyway. Lol no lol

Defend where you can, those who need it, and the rest of you can check your judgement at the door. Here’s your ticket so you can pick it back up on your way out, should you still desire.

Ponder while you read, what’s the difference between Goodness and Righteousness?

The stigma attached to all variations of mental illnesses reflect this similar a perspective, I think, the one mentioned in the above quote that is. I used to believe some people just didn’t have the capacity to fully understand. But, as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that most, nay some of the actual mentally ill, but still some, just choose not to accept it for what it is. Which, in the layest of layman’s terms, is real.

Evidence is evidence whether its ignored or not and unfortunately is the sole discretion of the "perceiver". Ignorance is only bliss for the ignorant. For the rest of us who watch on in horror . . .not so much. It’s more a curse, their ignorance.

Part of the acceptance of life, to me, is the acceptance of others’ lives, or at least learning better ways to [feel?] empathize with. I care enough to know it still ain’t all about me. Maybe just try to be more curious than skeptical. It’s a slight but in the right direction at least.

I read somewhere that, “a righteous man is righteous for himself, a law-abiding citizen who does no one any harm. The good man's goodness is communicative and is seen as beneficial to the society of men.” So, therein lies the confusion, right? Thinking that righteousness is equal, or better even, than goodness. I assure you that I feel goodness is a much more virtuous character trait, by that definitional comparison.

Struggle is a part of everyone's life to some degree, in some form or fashion. Why would anyone choose, to deliberately be a part of someone else’s struggle or to make it worse or harder than it needs to be? You don't have to be part of the solution, but maybe don't be part of the fucking problem. What's it got to do with you anyway. Help or hush.

A lot of people out there declaring who and what to be, and even how. All without knowing you or your life. Definitely never walked in anyone else’s respective shoes. Them people can sit back and shut the fuck up as far as I'm concerned.

Does your life directly affect theirs? Or the opposite?

No? Then there ya go.

Yes? Then it should open hearts and platforms for discussions.

Am I right?

If you feel anything opposing in this entry? I’m sure that there are some people who do, and even more sure that a few want to hear that side – so take that sermon up on the mount and preach it to them. For those of us together on this side, we know to just do better when we know better, and we move forward.

It’s just some more “lead by example” and “be the change I want to see in the world” in this entry. Repetitive maybe, but its repetitive in my real life as well. Current, and ongoing theme if you will.

Everyone judges everyone. Sadly, probably always will. A lot of learning has to go into not being judgmental, especially in our society. Just be sure your judging is not based on things people cannot control, even if you don't understand it. You can control whether or not you’re the bully in somebody else’s story.

As I continue to grow and learn, I try to be a little bit better and more understanding with each passing day. Like I said, when we know better, we do better, or we should. Shouldn’t we?

So many philosophies to live by, so little life to live them in.

A couple of things that I will never stop going on and on about is stopping bullies and choosing kindness. Obviously in that order. Both done through various forms of education, because as we all know ignorance is the most common stimuli for fear and hatred.

It really is all relative.

Read that all again if you need to. It’s how we start to understand each other.

We can stop this . . .together.

All of us.

All of us together.

Whether it's around mental health, drug addiction, or discriminations of any kind really, a lot of the old ways of dealing just aren't working. Haven’t for a quite some time. There just needs to be more understanding and way more adult-like, mature conversations.

Every human being should have rights. That’s something the masses in large part can agree on. Now decide which rights you think you should have then ask yourself if and why others, ALL others shouldn't have the exact same rights.

Evil always feels goodness. The same as the good always feels evil. So let evil feel us kick its ass.

I don’t know of a lot of headline topics about being neutral. No choice is a choice. Always, always, always, it’s about what side you choose.

Although, it’s a nod to the movie the Crow, I found this little gem of a quote in search of the beginning of it. Way better in full. Way, way better.

End of entry.

Now, have a great week and go be fucking nice.

Until next week;

“Abashed the Devil stood,

And felt how awful goodness is, and saw

Virtue in her shape how lovely; saw, and pined

His loss; but chiefly to find here observed

His lustre visibly impaired; yet seemed

Undaunted: —

"If I must contend," said he,

"Best with the best, the sender, not the sent,

Or all at once; more glory will be won,

Or less be lost."—"Thy fear," said Zephon bold,

"Will save us trial what the least can do

Single against thee wicked, and thence weak” – from Paradise Lost by John Milton

Here’s that whole piece;

“A righteous man is righteous for himself, a law-abiding citizen who does no one any harm. The good man's goodness is communicative, and is seen as beneficial to the society of men. Scarcely would one die in the place of a righteous man who is unjustly condemned to death. But some would dare to die for a good man, e.g., a soldier might die to protect his commanding officer, seeing his own life as worth less on the battlefield.

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truthbeetoldmedia · 5 years

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The 100 6x06 “Memento Mori” Review

Along with its impeccable world building, what Season 6 of The 100 has done so well is remind us that no matter how strong one’s moral compass is, every action has a reaction. Monty’s words to “do better” may be lingering in the minds of all of our heroes, but then again, they weren’t exactly expecting to encounter body snatchers in their new world.

Episode 6x06 of The 100, “Memento Mori,” written by newcomer Alyssa Clark and directed by P.J. Pesce is reminiscent of the “old” The 100 in more ways than one, but with a Sanctum twist. There are equal parts lore and moral conflict, and a pinch of backstabbing thrown in for good measure.

Heart Over Head

Try as he might to remain rational and think with his head, Bellamy was certainly not expecting this curveball: Clarke is dead. Josephine restrains Bellamy in her bedroom, and we can tell once she’s thrown Murphy in there with him that it’s been torn apart. While Murphy attempts to subtly convince Bellamy to stay and take the mind drives for the rest of their people, Bellamy has a one track mind. Clarke is gone, and there’s no bringing her back. (Or is there?)

It’s heartbreaking to see Bellamy mourn Clarke in such an outward way. We missed this in the years lost on the ring, and even in the brief moments we did see him grapple with her death, it was clear he was going about it logically. After all, Clarke had just told him to use his head. Now though, after Jordan has reminded him that his heart is what allowed him to be such a heroic and inspiring person, his head seems to have taken a back seat in his processing.

Though Bellamy tells the rest of Spacekru at the end of the episode that they must do what Clarke would want and survive, it’s likely he won’t be able to stick to that for long, at least I hope not. Murder is wrong, kids, but this has been a long time coming. Bellamy’s passion is what makes him such a standout character. That version of him resurfacing would be the cherry on top of such a good season.

Once a Cockroach, Always a Cockroach

The tagline of the season is “Face your demons”. While for Madi this is the Dark Commander and for Diyoza it may be her likeness to Hitler, for Murphy it’s what he’s seen in the afterlife and his unwillingness to go back. This is a character that has cheated death so many times that’s he’s never perhaps grappled with the thought of his own mortality. Now that he knows there’s a way to cheat death forever, he must decide whether to be the hero or slay his demon.

It isn’t surprising in the least that Murphy has taken a deal to save himself. After all, this is his trademark. Even he knows it. However, it’s difficult to tell if his motives will change at any point in the season. What does Josephine have to do to lose him? Though Murphy acts in this episode like he can deal with losing Bellamy, we’ve seen just how ferociously loyal he is to those he loves.

When Clarke, Abby and co. threatened to test the nightblood solution on Emori back in Season 4, Murphy literally had to be restrained. He promised he’d kill Clarke if anything happened to her. Now more than ever, Murphy has a family. Something tells me that as much as he refuses that fact sometimes, he won’t let the Primes harm them — especially since he’s witnessed death firsthand.

Murphy has always been an unpredictable character though. Just when he seems the most bastardly and selfish, he bends and does something to save someone. I wouldn’t be surprised if Murphy turned into the hero of the season.

Echo, Emori and Raven

When Josephine tells an oblivious Echo that Bellamy has gone into the forest on a scouting mission, she’s suspicious but she takes the bait. Josephine figures this will buy her enough time to sway Abby and get the nightblood solution, but she still sends Jade to follow Echo.

While Echo is ultimately looking for Bellamy, she finds herself mercy killing someone who’s quite literally being eaten alive by a tree and learns about Josephine/Clarke from Jade. While it’s nice to see Echo go off on her own and have an independent storyline, it’s short-lived when she returns to the compound and reunites with her friends.

However, we still got a brief taste of a possible new pairing: Echo and Jade. Both spies, they have the potential to either grow closer as they empathize with one another, or play a very entertaining game to see who can gather more intel. Either way, I’m seriously hoping we get more of these two.

Meanwhile, Raven and Emori help Ryker, a Prime, work on the radiation problem. However, once Raven knows about the body snatching, there isn’t much working at all. While it’s understandable that Raven would question the morality of this all, the argument seems to go in circles. Ryker defends the way of the Primes as a significant aspect of Sanctum culture, and Raven argues its immorality.

Raven doesn’t seem to persuade Ryker, but it’s possible that his mind may change later on and he may become a key ally in helping our heroes to defeat the Primes and get Clarke back. He seems the most willing of the Primes we’ve met to break, anyway.

The issue here is that Raven continues to argue that she’s done nothing wrong, she’s innocent, and she has no demons. She can’t realistically keep up this facade forever, no matter how much she projects onto other people. Raven is a character that needs a serious reality check, and soon. She was once one of my favorites, but I’m beginning to lose hope that Raven can redeem herself from all the bitterness and egotism.

The Mysterious Spiral

Also in the forest are Octavia, Diyoza and their new friend Xavier. Octavia has been exposed to flares that rapidly aged her hand, and the aging is rapidly spreading. Xavier fears she may only have hours before the aging spreads to her mind, killing her. So, the three unlikely confidants search for a possible cure. It turns out that Xavier is a fan of homeopathic medicine. He collects the sap from a tree to apply to Octavia’s wrinkled skin, and while it doesn’t exactly help, her hand does begin to twitch uncontrollably.

The gang soon discover that her tremors aren’t random at all. In fact, they’re forming a spiral that shows up elsewhere in nature, and inked on Xavier’s skin. He says this anomaly called him and it is calling Octavia now.

While it’s unknown what exactly the anomaly is, it’s likely that it will give Octavia some kind of purpose she didn’t have before. Maybe it will even encourage her to live. Octavia’s demons are arguably the most difficult to face of any character on the show, so she likely needs some strong ammo to fight back.

I have to note that watching Octavia and Diyoza’s unlikely friendship blossom has been nothing short of a treat. This is a pair so many were hoping for at the end of Season 5 when they had a brief interaction in the Eligius ship, and one that is definitely not disappointing now. Diyoza and Octavia both have a lot to regret, so it only makes sense that they help each other get their humanity back.

Befriending the Dark Commander

Not knowing that Clarke is dead, Madi struggles in this episode with a commander who won’t let up taunting her. Gaia calls him Sheidheda, the Dark Commander. While in a deep meditative state, Madi speaks to Sheidheda and attempts to reason with him. However, he acts as the metaphorical devil on one’s shoulder, encouraging Madi to kill Gaia before she herself is harmed. Madi questions his words, but once she wakes up in chains, she seems to second guess herself. And when Madi learns that Clarke is dead (in the most heartbreaking scene, might I add), something clicks.

Madi banishes Gaia, and with Sheidheda now by her side, plans to kill everyone in order to avenge Clarke. While half of me was jumping for joy at this new heart-heavy side to Madi, the other half of me was frozen in place, worried about what may become of her without Gaia to guide her, and with this new, evil spirit guide.

Lola Flannery’s performance as Madi in this episode was magnetizing. My eyes were completely glued to the screen during her scenes. Even the most innocent of characters like Madi and Jordan have been forced to face their demons in Sanctum, which means that Lola has had to show a whole different part of her range. It’s always exciting to watch actors explore different sides of their characters, like Marie Avgeropoulos with her rendition of Blodreina last year. I’m anticipating many more Madi scenes worth singing praises about in the near future.

Mother Knows Best?

Still in the dark about Clarke death is her own mother, Abby. Abby has been so preoccupied with finding a way to save Kane that she’s ignored every suspicious thing Josephine has said to her. While Josephine originally believed that Abby would be her most difficult challenge, she’s actually been the opposite. Josephine takes Murphy’s advice and uses all of Abby’s demons against her, bringing up her addiction and her questionable decision to sell out her husband on the Ark.

Josephine doesn’t just taunt her with her past actions though. She tells Abby that she fears what will become of her if she loses Kane too and reminds her that she needs her mom. Abby falls for this hook, line and sinker. I have a theory that once Abby finds out about Josephine and learns she was the last to know, her priorities will shift. Her real demon should be what she’s done to her daughter. She can probably live without Kane, but can she live without Clarke, knowing she’s, at times, been an arguably bad mother?

Can’t Get You Out of My Head

When Murphy tells Josephine’s dad on her, she’s forced to bargain with him and give him the mind drives. Instead of dwelling on the impending shitstorm coming her way, Josephine ends her day by telling herself tomorrow will be better, taking a mystery pill, and laying her head on her pillow. When she closes her eyes though, Clarke is alive inside her mind! And then: boom, out.

I never had a doubt in my mind that Clarke would be alive somewhere, somehow. After all, she’s a fighter. This could be of course because Clarke is a synthetic nightblood and this may not pair with the memory drive as well as a natural born nightblood would. If this is the case, it would certainly spoil Josephine’s plan.

So there’s a way out of this for Clarke. Now the rest of our heroes just need to figure that out and hurry up!

Once again, this episode left me speechless in a way that only The 100 can. Right now, there are a bunch of unconnected storylines all taking up equal parts of screen time. I’m eager for that moment when they start to intertwine. I suspect that Gabriel may be the missing link in all of this. Perhaps he’ll have a way to save Octavia and even get Clarke back.

Stray Thoughts:

I miss Jordan. I can only suspect that given his situation with Delilah, he won’t want to just try to survive. Maybe he’ll even team up with Bellamy and Madi to get Clarke back (wishful thinking?).

Bellamy sitting outside by himself crying was so heart wrenching but so, so telling. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Josephine and Bellamy saying “Shut up Murphy” at the same time was excellent.

Where is Indra this season? I miss her and her words of wisdom dearly.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #Memento Mori

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christinegphillips · 4 years

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Stop Passing The Buck And Take Responsibility In Life

Today we’re going to talk about passing the buck and if you want to know it’s true definition click here. But if you want to learn how to stop passing the buck and take responsibility for your life then keep reading for the transcript, tops tips on how not to blame others and frequently asked questions on why people pass the blame to others. Then keep reading.

Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Passing The Buck Transcript

0 (1s): Hi there and welcome to changeyourlifeforever.co.uk. It’s Scott, your host talking. And today we’re going to talk about Stop Passing The Buck And Take Responsibility In Life because I think at some time or another, most of us through life have blamed someone else or blamed something, or kind of looked at a situation and went it wasn’t me, and I remember when I was a kid kinda anything that went wrong went wrong, my mom would in the room room and say to my brother, did you do that? And he’d say, no, it was Scott.

0 (32s): It was him mom, honestly. And he would refuse to admit or take responsibility for what he had done wrong. And he consistently blamed me all the way. It was always my fault. And it’s quite funny because the thing most people do that because excepting that you’ve done something wrong is really, really hard for people to, to do. Because you think that your gonna get scolded, or you think that you are going to be in trouble for something so people hide away from those problems?

0 (1m 4s): And it is quite easy if you stop passing the book, because when you take responsibility for what you’ve done, you can work out what went wrong. You can look inside yourself and say, yeah, I did that wrong. Oh my God. You know, I made a massive mistake, but I stick my hand up and I won’t ever do it again, and people will help you. And people would rather know the truth than they would if you to actually passing the buck and not taking responsibility for your life.

0 (1m 35s): And kinda there’s more examples. You know, I work with lots of big industries and kinda they bring out lots of different solutions for how to manage projects and programs like waterfall and agile and when it comes down to it, most of those individual teams work in silos. They work individually. They don’t work together as a team. So when you get them handing off from one team to another, there’s things that are wrong, dates that aren’t delivered, generally what happens is one group will blame another rather than working together.

Stop Passing The Buck And Take Responsibility – Photo by Castorly Stock from Pexels

0 (2m 9s): And working out where the problem is where things went wrong they actually just blame each other. And that means that passing the buck somewhere else means that things don’t get done and things over run. And it just creates a massive horde of problems. Whereas if you get the team’s to gel together, working together, like you would in a football team or rugby team, you know, you chuck the ball to someone. If you throw a bad ball and they drop it, it’s not their fault for dropping it. It’s your fault for not passing the ball in the right way.

0 (2m 43s): So I think when you look at life, if you can look at it and you can say, yes, I will take responsibility for this. I own this. I own everything that I do. And when you make a mistake, when you do something wrong, you can put your hand up, you can admit it and you can feel safe knowing that the outcome will be a better outcome than it would be if you hide away or blame someone else. And we all do it. It’s like, in families, , we can blame each other for different things that happen.

0 (3m 15s): You know, someone’s smashed a dish or, something didn’t get done. And all of a sudden we’re blaming people within our household for stuff that is going to make them feel horrible. And if you have ever been blamed yourself, you will know how horrible that feeling is, you will know what it’s like when you’re waiting for somebody to find out what you’ve done. And then probably punish you for it. But, if you work on the other way and you put your hand up and you take responsibility for that, and you’ve don’t pass the buck, then things will work out better.

0 (3m 48s): Saying that, I remember when I was a kid, as well as I was playing football or in the house, bit stupid really, to be honest, and I kinda hit the ball and it hit the telly. And my mums statue on the top of the tele she’d saved up years for it was her most precious thing fell off the tele smashed on the floor. And when she come in I ran straight up to her and i was crying my eyes out. Mom mom, I’m really sorry. I’m really sorry. And she was like, wow, have you done? What have you done? And a one man. And she was angry because I admitted what I did.

0 (4m 19s): She didn’t punish me. She understood. She wasn’t very happy about me playing it football in the house, but you know she understood and she was grateful that I came forward and actually told her because I could have just glued the tail back on it and just left it and hope she didn’t notice, but that’s kind of deceitful. And when you take Responsibility the punishment, isn’t as bad as you think it will be. But if you pass the buck to somebody else and you blame that other person you’ve got the guilt of knowing that person.

0 (4m 53s): Actually hasn’t done anything wrong. Anyway, it wasn’t their fault and communally, whether we’re in a family, right? Whether were at work, we should all work together. We should help each other. Our job is to make our lives better to support each other. To big each other up, to make sure that we as a family or whatever work together. We understand each other where empathic to each other, there are no secrets. We kind guide each other in the right way, which means that when something does go wrong.

0 (5m 26s): You just need to learn to stop passing the buck, suck it up and take that courage inside to go, I’m really sorry. It was me and then later on you take responsibility for your actions, you make sure that you never do it again and you learn from your mistakes, but you really do have to make sure that you are taking that responsibility because that doesn’t sit with anyone else. It will make you become a better person by understanding what you are capable of, admitting things.

0 (6m 0s): You also don’t get that intrusive thought problem where your then going away thinking about it, Oh my God, I did this today and I blamed someone else. And what happens if someone finds out, because all those thoughts that you have in your head just coincide to an increase bad mental health issues, stress and anxiety and everything else, but its forced upon us when actually what we should do is keep hold of that book ourselves and go, yeah, it was me.

0 (6m 31s): I am so sorry. What can I do to make it better? What can I do to make sure that the outcome is a better one and that is by admitting it. And it is by sticking your hand up. And when you’re at school, as well the teacher would go, who did that and everyone will go It wasn’t me, but it was someone. And then everybody gets detention or whatever, just because somebody’s threw a book or made a noise or, or whatever, because no one likes to take responsibility when they’ve done something wrong.

0 (7m 2s): They may think it’s funny when they do it in the first place, but then they’ll pass the buck to someone else to say it wasn’t me miss. It was them. Or it wasn’t me mom. It was them. And that just leads to a pathway where you are avoiding taking responsibility yourself. And if you can learn to be told off, if you can learn that it’s okay to do things wrong, then you will avoid a load of stress and a load of anxiety. And I know my son he’s got great manners he’s a lovely lad.

0 (7m 34s): And I adore him and you know, the other week he kind of spoke out of turn to my wife and I was like, hold on a minute. That’s not you. And I took him upstairs and I said, do you think that was like you normally act, and he said NO it isn’t dad but I’m under a lot of stress. I’m having all these problems. And you know, I just took it out on Caren and kinda it made him realize and take responsibility for his actions.

0 (8m 6s): He apologized straight away because he knew that he was in the wrong, but he’s never liked being told off. So the way that I have to approach it with him is by having a conversation trying to understand emotionally why he did those things, what was it that made you pass that buck and take it out on my wife? You know, why did you do that? And not in an aggressive way, but in a way that he could simply understand why not taking responsibility for his actions would have worked out worse, because if he hadn’t of admitted it, then I probably would have said you’re being rude and I don’t want you to do it again.

0 (8m 43s): I am not happy and everything else. And when you are assertive to people like that, they do feel as if they are being cussed. They do feel as if they’ve done something wrong? So it’s about nurturing that out of people. So you can make them feel that they don’t need to pass the buck. That they can take responsibility because life is about growing and it’s about finding out more about ourselves. So it make sure that you’re not passing the buck on to anybody else, take responsibility for your own life.

How To Stop Blaming Others Top Tips

Admit it – This takes courage and balls to admit when you are wrong. But by taking responsbility and keeping the buck yourself, you will learn more about yourself. Being able to do this is a great skill but know that we all make mistakes, we all mess up, just put your hand up when you do and admit it.

Accept it – If you are going to admit to something and take accountability yourself, make sure you are also willing to accept the consequences. Some actions do unfortunately come with consequences, so no regretting it later. Just accept the position, learn and move forward.

Stopping blaming others – Rather than blaming someone, understand why they have done this in the first place. It might very well be that they meant to do it, or it could be a genuine mistake. Our job however is to move forward and help them move forward too. So be empathic, understand the why, then be a part of making things better.

Don’t lie – I say this to everyone, once you start telling porkies and blaming other people. This will form a nasty habit and you will forget the things that you lied about too. Then you will have a massive set of lies building up that you will eventually get caught out. So always tell the truth and put your hand up and admit your mistakes.

Do it now – If you have made a mistake or been blamed or passed the buck. Then raise it straight away so that a resolution can be made as quickly as possible. There is nothing worse than someone finding out what has been done as this will only make them mad.

Apologise – Some people no matter what you do with them, they just cannot apologise. Whilst apologies shouldn’t be done all the time, if it was you that caused the problem. Then learn to put your hand up and say sorry for what you had done and then never do it again.

Wrongly accused – If someone has wrongly accused you or blatently put the blame on you. Do not worry as people are not stupid and most of the time they know who did it. So the only person that they will eventually ridicule will be themselves. Stay true to yourself and do not let others suck you into a blame culture. If you take responsibility for your own actions and are a kind and caring person then people will see through the other persons buck passing persona.

Don’t worry about it – It doesn’t matter what it is. Once you have apologised or fixed the problem, do not pay it any more attention. Constantly replaying situations in your head will not change anything but will just make your anxiety worse. So follow all the tips by capturing blame early on and dealing with it and then move forward.

Moving on – Don’t hate the person for blaming you, just be proud that you know that you take responsibility for your own actions. Other people will do whatever they want to and acceptance of this is paramount to divorce yourself from other people’s issues and problems. If they have a problem with you so be it, try and sort it out with them. But if they have blamed you in the first place it is likely they will shy away from the truth. So accept the situation, bury it and move on as quickly as you can with another lesson learned under your belt.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Passing The Buck And Taking Responsbility

What does the phrase pass the buck mean? To me it means passing responsbility or blame to someone else rather than taking responsbility yourself. It can aslo mean that you see this as not your problem or fault and are willing to pass the consequences to someone else instead.

Who said the buck stops here and why? President Truman – the decision has to be made. Quite often this is used when someone does take responsibility for their actions and they know that their decision is final and the event stops with them. You could say today as a team we are going to win the premiere league but the buck stops with me to make this happen.

What is the buck stops with me? As above it means that there are no further actions and that the person is taking responsibility for the decision. Which also means that they accept the consequences of their actions and are will to to stick with that, rather than blame someone else at a later date.

What does it mean to take responsibility? It means accepting that the situation sits squarely in your hands. For instance if someone asked you to babysit because they were going out for the evening. The responsibilty sits with you to make sure that the baby is well looked after and cared for. If something happens then you take responsibility for it and own up to it.

How do you take responsibility for your own actions? You do your best with whatever life throws at you and be honest with your critique about yourself. We all fail and we all make mistakes. Some things we are good at and some things not so good at. So when something goes wrong just admit that you have done it and learn from and it move on. Be proud of the job you are doing and take the responsibility seriously.

What are some examples of responsibility? There are loads of examples here, Doctors, Nurses, Plane Drivers, Managers, Teachers, Brothers, Sisters. You name it everyone has responsibility for something, whether you think that is a small thing or a massive thing. We all have responsibility and it is our responsibilty to look after ourselves, be kind and be the best we can be in life too.

So that is everything I have to say today on passing the buck and taking responsibility for your own life. I hope you liked it and please do join me on the transformation program below for more interesting stuff about life, happiness and living a great lifestyle.

Catch you soon best wishes Scott

Stop Passing The Buck And Take Responsibility In Life published first on https://changeurlifeforever.blogspot.com/

#personal development #positivity #self help #confidence #law of attraction

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iccfcare-blog · 4 years

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Kinds of Counselling and Psychiatric therapy

The most typical question I'm requested by individuals creating a first enquiry about counselling is 'What kind of counselling is the next step?' What's usually meant with this is, 'What types of problem would you offer counselling for?' Most counsellors and psychotherapists, myself incorporated, don't concentrate on one sort of problem, as everything or difficulties affecting feelings and thinking have similarities, and mostly react to therapy in similar ways. So the solution to the issue 'What types of problem would you offer counselling for?' could be something similar to 'Difficulties with feelings and thinking', instead of specific single issues like, say, 'low self esteem', or 'fear of failure'. Most counselling and psychiatric therapy handles the entire person, and does not usually separate off one factor they are thinking or feeling or doing. This is just a general rule, however. There are several therapies that concentrate on particular kinds of issue, frequently ones which use a particular solution-based approach. Counselling for addictions is definitely an apparent example, a specialism which often involves a progressive, led programme. Others may be death or eating problems. Particular portion of the population, for example youthful people or women, could also be recognized as groups requiring a professional approach to some degree, but overall these make use of the same techniques just like any other mental counselling. The primary difference may be the agency continues to be established to cope with that specific issue or group, has gotten funding for this, and thus focuses it's sources on the bottom. A person counsellor or psychotherapist may offer a particular area since it has especially interested them, or they have done extra learning it, or even had particular experience with the problem themselves.

What counsellors and psychotherapists mean once they talk about various kinds of treatments is the main difference within the theoretical orientation from the counselor, away from the kinds of problem that they specialise. There are a variety or approaches, broadly divisible into the three regions of Humanistic, Psychodynamic and Cognitive-Behavioural. A short description of each and every kind of approach and it is subdivisions is past the scope want to know,. I'll, therefore, limit it towards the two primary approaches that we employ myself, Person-Centred (a 'humanistic' approach) and Psychodynamic. person-centred Counselling and Psychiatric therapy n the center of the individual Centred approach is the concept that the Counsellor is really a 'guest' in the realm of the client's experience, with all of this implies regarding respect and trust.

The customer is regarded as basically reliable, that she or he knows somewhere, in some way, what they desire, and they possess a desire to have growth. The counsellor might help bring these into awareness which help the customer to use them. Another central concept is 'conditions of worth'. The weather is enforced at the start of existence through which individual measures their very own value, how acceptable or unacceptable they're. An easy example maybe 'Don't be angry, or else you will be an unpleasant, shameful person, and you won't be loved.' The content this carries maybe something similar to 'If I am angry this means I am useless, well, i must not be angry.' The individual will, in the end, feel angry, possibly frequently, and conclude out of this that they have to, therefore, be useless, ugly, shameful. Another may be 'If you do not prosper educationally, this means you're stupid and you'll be failing in life'. This sort of condition will tend to stick with the individual indefinitely, and she or he may have been battling for a long time to meet what could not be possible conditions worthwhile. If this sort of inner conviction is introduced to light, and it is roots understood fully, it may be the person can easily see it's not really true, it has been put there by others, and my have the ability to escape from it.

The Individual Centred Counsellor tries to be 'with' the customer as a type of companion. The Counsellor respecting and accepting the individual, anything they are just like, can result in the individual her or himself visiting feel that she or he really is suitable, and entering connection with a far more genuine, 'organismic' self which happens to be there in some manner, but been hidden. They may then be genuine, less preoccupied with appearances and facades, or living to the expectations of others.They might value their very own feelings more, negative or positive. They might start to enjoy their experience with as soon as. They might value others more, and revel in associated with them, instead of feeling oppressed, shy, inferior.

The Counsellor achieves this by developing a climate of acceptance within that the client will find her or himself. Certain therapeutic conditions facilitate this, conditions set through the founding father of this method, Carl Rogers. Included in this are: The therapist's genuineness, or authenticity. This cannot be just acted, it needs to be real or it will likely be useless. Total acceptance from the client, and positive regard on their behalf, regardless of how they seem like. Empathic understanding', the counselor really being aware of what the customer says, and, further, showing the customer their feelings happen to be understood.

Psychodynamic Counselling and Psychiatric therapy psychodynamic, or Psychoanalytic, therapy tries to promote an interaction including unconscious aspects of the customer. A whole lifetime's experience, most powerfully exactly what the person is familiar with from their first relationships when they are young, determines how a client pertains to others. This can emerge in certain form within the therapeutic relationship too, and the counselor needs to understand what forces and influences might be at the office within the client.

This method doesn't bring that concept of 'free will'. It doesn't see our thinking, feeling and making decisions because of conscious awareness, but because the outcomes of numerous forces that are operating beneath conscious awareness. The individual is acting and associated with others largely because the results of the instincts they're born with, along with what they've discovered themselves, largely with the nature of the close relationships at the begining of existence.

The specific 'personality' is created within the crucible of the early experience. If, for instance, the primary carer from the child hasn't given her correctly, this is set in being an anxiety. This can be simply about being given, about getting enough to consume, or it might be extended through the infant into related things, for example trust (they've learned to not trust those meals, or even the carer, is going to be there if needed), or insecurity about existence generally, or a sense of there always being something missing. An effect may be overeating, say, or avarice in different ways, for goods, or neediness, anxious demand for existence of others, a treadmill other. This really is an example. You will find myriad types of operations of the kind within the psyche, developing from birth, with all sorts of subtleties and variations. They're just about all set in an amount of the individual which isn't available to the conscious mind, and therefore are acted out subconsciously. The counselor needs to understand the character of those unconscious systems, and just how they're employed in the session as well as in the individual's existence. The client's ideas and actions and feelings might be 'interpreted' through the counselor,

when it comes to how their unconscious may be directing them. Or, possibly less controversially, how early experience may have resulted in the manner they are now. In discussing this, the customer may gain self-understanding, acceptance and much more charge of their existence. In concerning the psychotherapist, the customer could see the counselor partially as 'like' another person, say a parent. This really is known as 'transference', because feelings initially evoked through the parent are 'transferred' to the counsellor, where they may be made conscious and worked within therapy. Integrative Counselling and Psychiatric therapy As it would seem, an integrative approach tries to integrate a number of theories into one unified method.

I still find it hard to integrate Person-Centred and Psychodynamic orientations into one, because they are in lots of way antithetical. The idea from the 'expert' for instance. Person-Centred Counselling attempts to avoid a scenario where one individual is becoming 'expert' and yet another may be the passive receiver of knowledge. In Psychodynamic counselling for child behaviour or psychiatric therapy it may appear hard to avert this. The specialist may be the holder of the items can appear as an arcane understanding, mainly from the workings from the unconscious, understanding that is transmitted in interpretations of the items the customer states. This contrasts having a simple but 'prized' acceptance from the client and anything they might say, without interpretation, out of the box the situation using the Person Centred approach.

Despite this sort of difficulty, however, I actually do still find it easy to integrate aspects of in a method which works better than either alone. That you could be employed in a largely person centred way, accepting and valuing the individual and anything they say, but be familiar with past influences in route one is now. Including the counselor being conscious of the psychodynamic options underlying the interaction between counselor and also the client. I have faith that there'll inevitably be some 'transference', and a minimum of some expectation the counselor holds understanding and skills that the client doesn't have,

which can result in certain feelings within the client. Transference is frequently seen personally Centred Counselling being an obstacle to become overcome as quickly as possible, even though To be sure that it ought to be introduced into awareness, I have faith that it's really a valuable tool, to not be ignored too early, and never to become undervalued.

The counsellor must strive to understand all elements which can be operating within the relationship anytime, and just how these might vary at different occasions, and then choose which of those ought to be distributed to the customer for his or her benefit. I still find it easy to share, tentatively, some 'psychodynamic' options without losing the fundamental 'Person-Centred' conditions of respect and genuineness. This integration of two approaches within an experienced psychotherapist, who isn't relying simply on putting into operation a learned theory but can also be meeting the customer as genuinely and fully as you possibly can as two real people, has outstanding power to help individuals find larger and much more satisfying methods for experiencing their and themselves lives.

John Sturdy has a first-class hons. degree in British and Psychology, an MA in British Lit., certificates and Diploma in Counselling from CSCT London, as well as an MSc in Mental Counselling and Psychiatric therapy in the Roehampton Institute, London. His training period extended over some six years. He labored within the Mental Services dept. of the College for 4 years,and has been around private practice like a Counsellor and Psychotherapist in Bristol for 15 years.

#counselling for child behaviour #child counseling techniques #counselling for child behaviour near me #types of child therapy #child counseling courses #child behaviour specialist

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connorrenwick · 4 years

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Aaron Lowell Denton: The Accidental Designer

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Entering the world of Indiana-based visual artist Aaron Lowell Denton can feel like stepping through the doorway of an astonishingly preserved record shop you’d long had forgotten – a realm embellished in the hallmarks reminiscent of Stanislaw Fernandes’ finest OMNI magazine covers, the Memphis Movement, forgotten classics of the 1980s Japanese city pop albums era, and maybe even the neon hued geometric landscapes once emblazoned across blank VHS cassette tapes. With a portfolio pulsing with a surreal experimental glow, Denton has carved out a career as a musician’s artist, one adept at mining the collective memory of music’s imprint onto our emotions, expressed through an Indian summer spectrum of colors and absurdist’s sense of movement.

Photo: Anna Powell Denton

Originally from Upland, a tiny little town in northern Indiana, and now based in Bloomington, Indiana, Denton’s journey follows the trajectory more that of a squiggle than a line. “[When I first moved to Bloomington] I had a slew of day jobs before I went full time with design. I served tables at a vegetarian restaurant here in town called The Owlery,” says Denton, “I also painted houses for a while, alongside some carpentry work. I worked the door at a bar during a 10pm to 4am shift. That was a weird time.”

Between this hodge-podge of jobs, Denton was also designing flyers and posters for a local musical venue for the love of it, sometimes for just $50 a pop, but mostly for free. Over time he found himself spending an extraordinary time on these projects despite the modest pay. It was only when his then-partner-now-wife suggested making a go of a career as a visual artist that Denton decided to abandon toiling 70-hour weeks to dedicate himself fully into his design work.

“I was super scared to quit my restaurant job. I figured I’d try it for a few months and go back to waiting tables, but it worked out! I feel super grateful to have the job and life I have. It’s a privilege, especially in times like these, to be able to work for yourself and make art for a living. I can’t believe I get to do it everyday.”

The world would soon come knocking on Denton’s door by way of Instagram, where his work garnered a great deal of attention from design and music aficionados alike. He’d soon find himself inundated with commissions by promoters all seeking Denton’s uniquely hypnotic pop manifestations for the likes of musicians such as Wild Nothing, Leon Bridges and Khruangbin, John Maus, and Stereolab, tying a lyrical sense of typography together with a heart-on-his-sleeve affection for artists such as Donald Judd, Joan Miró, Helen Frankenthaler, and Bridget Riley.“That high art stuff is a bit in my aesthetic DNA at this point, and my sense of color and composition comes from all the time I spent (and still spend) in museums and looking in books.”

Today Denton’s eye finds itself drawn toward other outliers of art, including surreal futurist Stanislaw Fernandes, 1960s-1970s Japanese typography, and OMNI magazine, influences clearly discernible across his portfolio, “I also got into a big city pop phase last year that resulted in a bunch of work in that style. I just get really into looking and researching a certain style, and I think it’s fun to sometimes try on styles and techniques. It’s a way to give yourself permission to experiment and grow.”

This growth also included designing his own website on Squarespace, where his online portfolio resides alongside an e-commerce shop where some of his more recent work is available as posters. The site has become an integral extension of his online presence, allowing him to connect with new clients and customers alike. Denton remembers designing his site as surprisingly “easy”, crediting Squarespace’s robust site building tools. “There was definitely a time when building a website felt like such a feat, but it’s just not that way anymore.”

Denton also cites an appreciation for the collaborative nature of his work. As a musician himself, he calls the process a “conversation” integral to informing his eventual solution in tying together his vision with the artist, the venue, and even the audience. It’s a process he’s embraced increasingly more as he ventures solely from poster work toward collaborative commissions.

“Part of the art in it for me is the dialogue with clients, and the personal connection that can come out of creating art together,” notes Denton, “Especially when you’re representing someone else’s art with your own, that process has to be collaborative. That being said, like I mentioned, musicians can understand the need to not be caged in too much. They can empathize with needing a certain amount of autonomy to find something unique.”

“I’ve been lucky to work with some of my favorite musicians and it does sometimes feel like it’s coming from somewhere mysterious, pre-cooked.” Promotional risograph poster for Wild Nothing. September, 2018.

When asked about what makes for a good poster or album design, Denton is quick to point out the open-minded nature of his clientele – musicians – has afforded him a fairly relaxed relationship that tends to foster, rather than hamper good design.

“[Musicians] tend to be less intense than say, an art director. When I do a poster there’s not much between my idea and execution and the final piece; whereas, with something like a logo for a business, or a commercial project, it needs to be discussed and examined. That can be fun too…it’s all just different.”

These fairly unrestricted bounds have permitted Denton a level of interpretive freedom not all designers are always given, allowing the artist to consider both the complete oeuvre of the musician with his own personal connections with their music to form novel solutions. “I sometimes feel like the bands I get asked to work for already have visual representations, fully formed, sitting somewhere inside me. Like, they’re formed from my own relationship with the music and fandom.

“Design has a rich history of endearing social messages with imagery. With the Abolish ICE poster I was working with a group called New Sanctuary Coalition to raise funds for immigration bonds, which are exorbitantly higher for people in that system. I’d love to collaborate on more social posters in the future though, it’s an area of my work I really value.”

Photo: Anna Powell Denton

Amusingly, Denton’s affinity for collaboration even extends to the nuts and bolts of operating as a one-person operation. “I actually enjoy emailing quite a bit,” admits Denton, “The dialogue between me and my clients is something I’m actively interested in. I don’t dread any of that stuff.”

Denton credits his Squarespace designed site as an alternative medium to show work outside of social media, one where his work can be shown without the expectations and associations of an audience-based medium like Instagram. “I like to think of my site just as a full view of a collection of work. It’s the fastest way for someone to see what my work is all about.” Visitors are welcome to peruse his portfolio of work and purchase posters from an e-commerce shop vertical. Denton’s design is clean, simple, and easy to navigate, permitting his artwork to be the centerpiece of the experience.

Squarespace has made selling my work all around the world a more accessible possibility. The commerce tools are really easy to use and understand.

With a majority of his past work connected to the music industry, Denton is using his site to aid in pursuing new opportunities, both out of curiosity and out of necessity, “When COVID hit, a majority of my poster work evaporated, so this year has been a lot different as far as where the work is coming from. I’ve been doing more editorial jobs, which I’m really into. I’d like to do a book design at some point, and also want to do more movie posters. I’m trying to learn about motion design in my spare time, so I could see myself trying that at some point.”

Ready to share your vision or brand with the world? Take the first step today with your very own website with Squarespace. Start your free two week trial (no credit card required!) and use coupon code DESIGNMILK when you’re ready to get 10% off.

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chrismurman · 5 years

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Here’s How I Changed The Way I Fight

Like many of you, I got into this business by accident. I started in IT around the time of the iPhone release. Became obsessed with mobile technology. This site began to write about the growing industry. Even co-wrote a now out-of-date book on building apps.

I spent years in the startup world. Small teams building big things. I thought I knew mobile when I started work at one of the largest independent app development companies. Problem is everyone else there did too. So when they asked about other specialties, I mentioned my knowledge of Scrum.

Having earned my CSM and CSPO, I came in with a lot of knowledge of the framework. Even fancied myself as someone who could coach the framework. So they gave me the chance to do so with all our teams. Which taught me the first lesson in coaching.

Book knowledge doesn’t always equate to coaching skills.

Of course, this knowledge I possessed armed me with enough to be dangerous. I was often asked to settle process disputes on teams. I would get texts with a conference room name and the words “scrum battle”.

Hell, even I started them. When I was at local meetups, in the break room, and even with company execs. I would stride in with my knowledge and wage war because I had the right answers.

Took me a while to realize I was cocky and clueless.

There were some new team standards my boss had asked me to roll out, which I thought was easy. Little did I realize getting people to do something was going to be a huge fight. At one point, a project manager pulled me aside. “Chris, nobody here is doubting your ideas are valid. But to ask me to think your ideas are the only valid ones is foolish. Can’t you give me a bunch of ideas and I’ll pick the ones that work for my team?”

I still thank Austin to this day for saying that.

Fighting battles are still something I do in my coaching work today. There are some things that deserve advocacy. I will not quit fighting for diversity on teams. Will always make room for others to speak up. And thanks to Austin, I will always keep learning new ways to do the same things.

What about the other things? The daily grind of helping teams view their work in a new way. Stepping through each day of an iteration. Attempting to inspect and adapt, always finding that one thing they can improve on. Those fights look much different to me today.

How do you fight battles with more than book knowledge?

Remember what first brought you here.

Do you remember when you first started working with teams? My entry was through QA. Then I worked on the product side, writing requirements for others. Other times I was a scrum master if I had someone who wanted to wear the PO hat. Point is, I’ve worn many hats on teams, which we all have before getting into our coaching stances.

When you show up fresh off a training, conference, or book you’ve read, there’s so much you desire to bring to the group. You have all the context from the person imparting knowledge and can see more of the big picture.

They just want to get their work done most of the time.

People you are coaching don’t always understand the problem you are trying to solve. Often they don’t even want to know why it’s a problem. They want to work towards the deadline handed from leadership. You were there once too.

This is the worst position to be in to start a fight, and yet often we choose to. Through email, social media, or in person methods, we want to make them see there is a problem and you’re the person to solve it. Until they are ready to see the problem, you can’t help them by creating one.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done is to let a group keep doing something that is unwise. Which leads me to my next point.

Being right doesn’t always make you right.

According to the manual, you aren’t supposed to run a team that way. You may have never said those exact words before, but I feel confident in saying you’ve said something similar. There’s no shame in it, for I know I’ve said it soooooo many times.

One of the reasons the 12 agile principles still apply is that they are broad and open to interpretation. There’s so much to uncover that’s relative to where you are in your journey. A different one will stand out to you than when you first read them.

There are many things “right” about the principles. That version looks different today, though. That means your “right” is different than your previous “right”.

“Right” looks different today to us all.

We learn, evolve, and grow in our journey of working better ways. It’s also relative to the experiences we’ve had in this industry. If you worked for different companies or made different solutions, you would look at work differently.

I had a colleague recently argue with me over UAT being a part of the definition of done. He’s never been on a team that’s done ie, so he didn’t think any other team needed it. If he had different experiences, then it wouldn’t have been an argument at all.

So, what’s your “UAT is not part of DoD”?

What have you always thought needed to do that might not apply always? If there’s one thing that might not be the way you’ve always known it, are there others?

When you feel surrounded, remember you’re not alone.

Let’s say you’ve done all that. You’ve empathized with their perspective. They see the issue and have considered there are many paths up the mountain. You’ve given up fighting with people over how they want to work. Awesome!

Fights are still coming your way, and often you will be on an island trying to defend this new way of working.

They tried your approach and it didn’t work. Or their boss told them to go back to doing it the old way. Perhaps they only half did it the way you taught them. When these things happen, the pitchforks come out. A fight is coming your way whether you like it or not.

When I’ve been in these situations, I feel surrounded. Immediately, I’m on my heels in a defensive position. So it’s reasonable for me to react in a defensive manner.

It’s important to remember that even when you feel surrounded, you’re never alone in this. There are people reading this like you and me who’ve struggled to respond in those instances. If I can diffuse the situation, understand with them what went wrong, you can take a break to find a better solution.

Rely on your community. Engage other coaches in the office, send a text to a trusted advisor, or send up a signal flare online. You’re never alone in this.

We have to change how we engage others. In and outside of our little enclave of #agile. I’m never all right or all wrong. I’m always somewhere in between. My hope is to engage with others in a manner that respects where they are and care for them to the best of my ability.

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nehaa20 · 6 years

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Being Vegetarian- the Debate

ïF SLAUGHTERHOUSES HAD WALLS OF GLASS, THEN MOST WOULD BECOME VEGETARIAN"- A quote I read somewhere...

Recently, I sat reading an Article on The Daily Mail (sorry, I'm unable to reference it), that was strongly supportive of vegetarianism. It was something along the lines of 'Turn vegetarian, save the world'. I'm an over thinker by nature, and I started to think- we tend to be really good at this.

How? The newspaper justified that the animal husbandry industry consumes a large amount of plant matter to provide feeds for cattle, goats and poultry. This causes deforestation, and wastage of cultivable land. An exploding population of cattle equals Methane release (wink, wink). This may contribute to global warming, but we can't be too sure. But that was the reasoning.

To the individual- a vegetarian diet ensured optimal cardiovascular health and lesser risks of some malignancies. There was also lesser incidence of Kidney Stones and Gouty Arthritis in Vegetarians. Gut bacteria of vegetarians displayed a greater variety than those of predominant meat eaters. High fiber content meant lesser constipation.

What about the Dairy industry, which a lot of vegetarians do require?

Some people are vegetarian by choice, some by culture, some by compulsion of poverty. Some Indians go veggie on few days of the week in honor of a God or event, or before visiting a temple.

Some will tell you that they're éggitarian'- one who's vegetarian, albeit for the eggs.

I also happen to be a vegetarian, more by choice and principle rather than by sociocultural norms. I attempted Veganism, but I guess I had poor access to substitutes. Indian meals are spicy, and not consuming Curd gave me heartburn. Besides, COFFEE and CHAI!

Culturally, I was raised an Orthodox Tamil Brahmin. A "Brahmin" in India is in most cases, Vegetarian. I think it's a stereotype, because I've met Brahmins who in fact Do partake of meat by tradition and norm.

I traced my life back into childhood- how was I? A poor, picky, fussy eater, who managed to stay just over underweight. Half my rice would be on the floor around the plate at the end of a meal, and half the contents forced into my mouth would be smeared over my face. I couldn't stand Dal, Upma or certain types of Sambar- which happen to be the main course in a south Indian meal. If you don't eat that bare minimum, well, I think you'd shrink. I was that- tall, thin, bony kid who got picked on by classroom bullies.

There's a lot of disadvantages to being vegetarian- poorer quality of protein (apparently), poorer bioavailability of Iron (apparently- I've never been anaemic), soil erosion and nutrient depletion (can be countered by crop rotation), and most apparently, the rise of a sect of annoying & judgmental people.

Few vegans and vegetarians (especially the former), preach their values endlessly to those around them, and try to insist that those who even touch animal produce are horrible beings. Agreed. Commercial farming and slaughter is extremely brutal! No animal should be subject to die that way! But the Food Pyramid isn't something that can be altered in a single frame of time in the millions of years of human evolution. It is not for us to judge a person simply for eating meat.

There are a few nagging non-vegetarians too, who insist that we as vegetarians get no protein, that we're mostly anaemic, that we underperform in the gym, that our lives are tough because we're missing out on so much... This list is endless.

Enough with the rants. Over to the Sociocultural impacts of who-eats-what-eats-when-eats-where-eats-who....(:-D)

Here in India, where the Cow is a sacred being, almost every other day, a person is killed mercilessly for suspected consumption of beef'. That simply isn't a valid reason.

In retaliation, the Youth Congress in Kerala publicly and mercilessly, slaughtered innocent cattle on the streets, in a slow, inhumane manner. These people were hacking at the creature as it bellowed in excruciating pain- blood was everywhere on that street. There are extremely graphic videos on YouTube, and it is sad that we've reached This point. There also was a 'Beef Festival' which served varieties of dishes prepared with this meat, in disproportionately large quantities, just to prove a point to the government!

Much uproar resulted after the Govt. outlawed *ILLEGAL* transport of slaughter cattle. I'll highlight- they issued a ban against ILLEGAL, and not in entirety. So that's where we ended up

We were Incapable of showing mercy to both- Human and Animal, despite being blessed with the ability to think deeply, empathize and offer compassion!

Blood has been shed over who eats what, in this country that fought in unison against centuries of oppression for a common cause.

Blood has been shed over such trivial issues, often, with offenders going unpunished.

They fail to realize that all of this is a new version of "Divide and Rule" created by a few internal toxic metabolites of a collapsing Governance body.

To end this, a person's diet is their own choice. It's for nobody to judge or bear grudge against a person who partakes of meat, as this is natural in the course of Human Evolution. A Human Being is a born hunter-gatherer carnivore, though some of us differ.

I do want the atrocities committed by commercial farming to end, though I don't understand how any killing can be 'Humane", but I'll leave it for the people who do eat meat.

I guess our solution is to put animals down only when we need meat, and not out of greed, and definitely not with evil intentions like the Kerala Youth Congress did.

If you want to, you can hop on the wagon and become a herbivore, but I'm not compelling anybody.

-ARYAN

#veggie #random

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annabelaplit · 7 years

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Young Briony

February vacation is over and I’m back. Today I am going to explore the character of Briony in Part #1 of Atonement. It seemed today in class like the vast majority of people seemed to really dislike her. But when I read the novel I didn’t hate her at all, in fact I think I actively sympathized with her for a lot of it. This is probably I feel like I was a whole lot like Briony when I was 13 and it was easy for me to see why she might have acted the way she did. So in this blog post I am going to explore some key passages relating to Briony and see what they tell me.

“But hidden drawers, lockable diaries and cryptographic systems could not conceal from Briony the simple truth:she had no secrets. Her wish for a harmonious, organized world denied her the reckless possibilities of wrongdoing. Mayhem and destruction were too chaotic for her tastes, and she did not have it in her to be cruel. Her effective status as an only child, as well as the relative isolation of the Tallis house, kept her, at least during the long summer holidays, from girlish intrigues with friends. Nothing in her life was sufficiently interesting or shameful to merit hiding; no one knew about the squirrel’s skull beneath her bed, but no one wanted to know. None of this was particularly an affliction; or rather, it appeared so only in retrospect, once a solution had been found.

At the age of eleven she wrote her first story—a foolish affair, imitative of half a dozen folktales and lacking, she realized later, that vital knowingness about the ways of the world which compels a reader’s respect. But this first clumsy attempt showed her that the imagination itself was a source of secrets: once she had begun a story, no one could be told. Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know. Even writing out the she saids, the and thens, made her wince, and she felt foolish, appearing to know about the emotions of an imaginary being. Self-exposure was inevitable the moment she described a character’s weakness; the reader was bound to speculate that she was describing herself. What other authority could she have? Only when a story was finished, all fates resolved and the whole matter sealed off at both ends so it resembled, at least in this one respect, every other finished story in the world, could she feel immune”(7).

I think this passage is the first place where we get a sense of who Briony is. She is a relatively privileged thirteen year old girl, yet she kind of longs for something more in her life. She is fascinated by the mysterious and unknown but she has the distinct impression that no one cares about what she has to hide. The way she finds excitement in life and is able to garner attention from others is through writing. Writing allows her to shape her own mysteries, and to turn her perceptions and values into cohesive narratives. She also sees writing as an intensely personal act, a reflection of self-hood. To write is a story is in some way to put a part of yourself on the page. Briony is unwilling to share this type of vulnerability with others, at least until the piece becomes finished and seemingly disassociates itself from the author.

“Briony stared at her, unable to keep the horror from her expression, and unable to speak. It was slipping away from her, she knew, but there was nothing that she could think of to say that would bring it back....How could she tell them that Arabella was not a freckled person? Her skin was pale and her hair was black and her thoughts were Briony’s thoughts... She wanted to leave, she wanted to lie alone, facedown on her bed and savor the vile piquancy of the moment, and go back down the lines of branching consequences to the point before the destruction began. She needed to contemplate with eyes closed the fullrichness of what she had lost, what she had given away, and to anticipate the new regime. Not only Leon to consider, but what of the antique peach and cream satin dress that her mother was looking out for her, for Arabella’s wedding? That would now be given to Lola. How could her mother reject the daughter who had loved her all these years? As she saw the dress make its perfect, clinging fit around her cousin and witnessed her mother’s heartless smile, Briony knew her only reasonable choice then would be to run away, to live under hedges, eat berries and speak to no one, and be found by a bearded woodsman one winter’s dawn, curled up at the base of a giant oak, beautiful and dead, and barefoot, or perhaps wearing the ballet pumps with the pink ribbon straps ...” (18)

In this passage Briony seems to have the first major upset of her young life. She has envisioned a starring role for herself in the play she has written and her cooler older cousin has just managed to manipulate it out of her. Now this in the scope everything that happens in the novel and life in general this inconvenience is really quite minor. Yet it seems to deeply affect Briony. She is watching her perfectly ordered plans fall to pieces. Arabella a character in which she has implanted personal vulnerability is being given a different form. Briony is watching her art (and her chances for adoration) slip out of her control and her immediate desire is to go escape the world. She wants to hide somewhere far away and then die to show everyone just how beautiful and perfect she is and how much she should have been valued. This is clearly a tremendous overreaction and very much dramatized. Yet the reaction is quite realistic, something I know from personal experience. I am guilty of writing more than a few sibling-centered plays and then having the fall through due to lack of interest. And often my thoughts didn’t stray far from Briony’s, “This is a disaster! I need to go hide in the woods! Everybody should love me more than this!” I don’t think readers are supposed to feel any sort of positive emotion for Briony in this moment, but I feel as if I can understand her emotions and actually empathize a bit.

“These thoughts were as familiar to her, and as comforting, as the precise configuration of her knees, their matching but competing, symmetrical and reversible, look. A second thought always followed the first, one mystery bred another: Was everyone else really as alive as she was? For example, did her sister really matter to herself, was she as valuable to herself as Briony was? Was being Cecilia just as vivid an affair as being Briony? Did her sister also have a real self concealed behind a breaking wave, and did she spend time thinking about it, with a finger held up to her face? Did everybody, including her father, Betty, Hardman? If the answer was yes, then the world, the social world, was unbearably complicated, with two billion voices, and everyone’s thoughts striving in equal importance and everyone’s claim on life as intense, and everyone thinking they were unique, when no one was. One could drown in irrelevance. But if the answer was no, then Briony was surrounded by machines, intelligent and pleasant enough on the outside, but lacking the bright and private inside feeling she had. This was sinister and lonely, as well as unlikely. For, though it offended her sense of order, she knew it was overwhelmingly probable that everyone else had thoughts like hers. She knew this, but only in a rather arid way; she didn’t really feel it” (44).

This passage reveals Briony’s thoughts and another sort of layer to her character. These are pretty complex and philosophical thoughts for a thirteen year old to have, and they show how deeply Briony thinks about the world. She is striving to understand herself and wonders if there are others as complex as she is. Both options are upsetting to her. If everybody has similar thoughts, have such a deep inner personality, then she lacks the uniqueness and the sense of being a cut above the rest that she craves. But if she is the only one like this than she is alone and fundamentally different than those around her. Ultimately she accepts that everybody is just as complex as she is, but only on a surface level, for she likes this idea of being special. Thoughts like this certainly have invaded my mind, and they were a definite fixture when I was Briony’s age. I have always felt a bit different than everyone else and wondered if the way they see the world mirrors mine. If their private thoughts skim the same surface matter. It’s an interesting parallel.

“None of these three was bad, nor were they particularly good. She need not judge. There did not have to be a moral. She need only show separate minds, as alive as her own, struggling with the idea that other minds were equally alive. It wasn’t only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you. And only in a story could you enter these different minds and show how they had an equal value. That was the only moral a story need have” (51).

Here is where Briony discovers the answers to her questions in the previous passage. Watching Cecilia and Robbie engage in an interaction that her mind cannot parse she is forced to recognize the complex realities of others. She becomes fascinated by this idea of complicated understandings and they become the new focus in her writing. Stories seem to her a chance to reveal the secrets of others, to explores the blended patches of what cannot be known.

“The cost of oblivious daydreaming was always this moment of return, the realignment with what had been before and now seemed a little worse. Her reverie, once rich in plausible details, had become a passing silliness before the hard mass of the actual. It was difficult to come back. Come back, her sister used to whisper when she woke her from a bad dream. Briony had lost her godly power of creation, but it was only at this moment of return that the loss became evident; part of a daydream’s enticement was the illusion that she was helpless before its logic:forced by international rivalry to compete at the highest level among the world’s finest and to accept the challenges that came with preeminence in her field—her field of nettle slashing—driven to push beyond her limits to assuage the roaring crowd, and to be the best, and, most importantly, unique. But of course, it had all been her—by her and about her—and now she was back in the world, not one she could make, but the one that had made her, and she felt herself shrinking under the early evening sky” (98).

This passage continues to underscore Briony’s desire to be seen as praiseworthy and unique and the role that her imagination plays in this yearning. Reeling from the disaster of her play she recedes into her own fantasies, a place where she has an integral role in important events, where she is a figure known and renowned to others. But as this daydream fades, Briony is forced to recognize the reality that her presence does not confer this much status in the real world. She is a tangential figure, someone who has not yet received a starring role in life. This desire of Briony’s, to be special and important outside the confines of her imagination, explains in part her stubborn desire to incriminate Robbie later in the novel. This might also be where I relate to Briony most. I have always used my imagination to recast myself in different roles, created scenarios where I was a figure of heightened importance. Imagination is a tool to escape the confines of reality, but it looks like Briony is searching for more than an escape.

“They were safe, Cecilia was with Leon, and she, Briony, was free to wander in the dark and contemplate her extraordinary day. Her childhood had ended, she decided now as she came away from the swimming pool, the moment she tore down her poster. The fairy stories were behind her, and in the space of a few hours she had witnessed mysteries, seen an unspeakable word, interrupted brutal behavior, and by incurring the hatred of an adult whom everyone had trusted, she had become a participant in the drama of life beyond the nursery. All she had to do now was discover the stories, not just the subjects, but a way of unfolding them, that would do justice to her new knowledge. Or did she mean, her wiser grasp of her own ignorance?”(204).

Here Briony is reveling in becoming an active participant in the drama of life. She no longer has to hide behind fantasies or live life completely in her books. Real things have now happened to her and she can now work on fitting them into her framework of life, broadening her perspective of the ways of the world. She has decided to herself that today is the day she leaves the realm of childhood and starts working towards being an adult. One can see how the previous events rather than frightening or even confusing her have instead excited her, given her the role she craved innately, and almost made real life into one of her stories.

“She would never be able to console herself that she was pressured or bullied. She never was. She trapped herself, she marched into the labyrinth of her own construction, and was too young, too awestruck, too keen to please, to insist on making her own way back. She was not endowed with, or old enough to possess, such independence of spirit. An imposing congregation had massed itself around her first certainties, and now it was waiting and she could not disappoint it at the altar. Her doubts could be neutralized only by plunging in deeper. By clinging tightly to what she believed she knew, narrowing her thoughts, reiterating her testimony, she was able to keep from mind the damage she only dimly sensed she was doing. When the matter was closed, when the sentence was passed and the congregation dispersed, a ruthless youthful forgetting, a willful erasing, protected her well into her teens” (218)

Here we can see how all of Briony’s childhood innocence and her desire to feel special and important led to her accusing an innocent man of rape. She wasn’t forced or especially compelled to confess anything, but neither was she entirely free from outside pressure in what she said. Her initial accusation sprang from the fact it matched her cyclical view of events, a version where she took center stage. Later on when she might be compelled to alter evidence, the love, support, and expectations of those around her kept her from changing her story. She got to be the center of attention and she didn’t want to disappoint those she loved. Her fantasies of uniqueness and importance got to be a reality and altering chronologies would bring that crashing down, in fact it would incur actively negative consequences. This and the true consequences of what she was doing weren’t apparent, her youth shielded her from contextual details and her imagination painted a narrative that was easy to believe. True honesty after the initial recounting would have required a significant amount of courage, to defy both the prevailing expectations of those around her and the story she had created in her own mind. And it seems Briony was not capable of being that brave, preferring to envelop herself in a cocoon of denial and ignorance. Knowing all of this what Briony did can be understood far better. It was by no means “right” and she certainly bears a heavy load of responsibility. But the paths that lead to her action reveal motives far more complex than jealousy or confusion. For all her flaws I really don’t consider her a bad person, more of a complex human being, carried down a tide of events where her flaws manifested themselves in the worst possible way.

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