#why do i talk so damn much

[tblsomedoodles]

The Preferable Alternative- Prologue - Part 1

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New au. I can't explain the main thought behind this without spoilers. And since i'm jumping straight into a multi-part comic, i won't be giving out any.

Basically vibes for this is that it's kinda creepy and maybe suspenseful with eventual hurt/comfort (if that doesn't make sense, im sorry, i have a hard time describing things). I'm also pretty mean to Donnie. Not "Donnie vs" mean, but unfortunately this idea wouldn't work with anyone else.

(for those that get anxious, like me. There is no main character death. (might not be death at all but we shall see. that depends on one character and even i'm not sure exactly what they'd do yet.) and no one's gets serious physical injuries. Definitely more hurt/comfort than plain angst. b/c that's how i roll. I can't do straight up angst.)

I'll write a proper summery once the prologue's done. I don't want to spoil it too much. For now, just know it's a PB&J duo story that happens during the 6 weeks before the Krang invasion.

#tmnt #rottmnt #preferable alternative #my doodles #rise donnie #rise mikey #this is my friday update #and it's actually on friday! #i can't wait until i can talk about what this whole comic is about #and why i wanted to do it #and where i got the title #b/c the title is in reference to a line found in a different series #and it fits the base of this story so damn well #but that's spoiler territory #so i will wait until later #and hey look #the ''So Not A Nintendo Ripoff'' company shows up again #in the form of a purple see-through Not-gameboy advanced #and yes i had too much fun with that #(i was just going to draw a generic device) #(but then i was like ''but what if gameboy?'') #(and now it's a gameboy lol)

[pocketgalaxies]

crazy how in c2 they'll have three extensive convos checking in with each other while traveling like an hour in-game meanwhile in c3 they've been on the moon for days and still haven't discussed the following:

laudna fucking ate a guy

imogen's mom is a mythical legend amongst the enemy

orym vs. laudna's response to imogen giving into predathos

how did chetney suddenly learn to make hypnotizing toys

delilah briarwood

"some of us are expendable, we should get captured"

anything and everything they said during the trust exercise, including but not limited to:

laudna not being able to distinguish her thoughts from delilah's

imogen's disgust at delilah's inevitable presence

chetney's fear that his new family will leave him

orym's feelings about dorian

fcg relieving stress through murder

fearne's insecurities about their chances of success

ashton's guilt about the shard

and more!

#i'm not complaining i'm just complaining #the difference between the two campaigns is SO STARK and i don't understand why #that's a lie i do understand why. it's bc there's been a ticking time bomb in c3 for a full year's worth of episodes at this point #if not longer #so i get it. but also i'm gonna go crazy. #if they had a full 4hr ep of just debriefing and talking i'd be so much more engaged than another 4 hours of traveling through ruidus #ik there are a lot of ppl out there enjoying the moon lore and the npcs etc but i feel like personally my brain is in a tiny gloomy prison #and the only thing that can free me is SOMEBODY AT THIS DAMN TABLE ASKING 'ARE YOU OKAY?' #anyway! back to c2 :) #2h30m c2e59 #text #critical role #cr2 #cr lb #r: mighty nein #cr3 #cr negativity #r: bells hells

[turtleblogatlast]

One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.

And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.

Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.

(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #trans leonardo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #trans leo #it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys #totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr #his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain #plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help #(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh) #(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo) #(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle) #(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again) #I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation #and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice) #but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res #love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful…… #one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do? #I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it) #idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh? #future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there #and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :) #Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still* #Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

What’s up with the ties between Sally & Eddie?

There are quite a few - to the point where I’m starting to suspect that they may be foils, or at least inherently tied together in the story.

First let's bring things back to the clocks. The “day” side has an obvious resemblance to Sally, like how the “night” side resembles Eddie. There’s not really much I can say here since we don’t know much more yet, and who knows if this has changed behind the scenes. But just think about that, the rarity of the color purple, night vs day, and the “monster”. Keep it in your head, I think it may be important. 

Also the fact that Eddie is the only one with a watch, but Sally’s face has an incredibly similar face on her door.

Obviously Sally has some sort of beef with Eddie, despite him being nothing but friendly and (to our knowledge) being undeserving of it. One thought I entertained was “maybe Sally is dismissive of him because he’s a worker,” but that holds zero water when you consider how perfectly friendly Sally was with Howdy (karen Sally debunked <3). The second thought I had was “maybe Sally senses the queer in Eddie and it intimidates her” - which would make sense if Sally is a lesbian like I suspect. Internalized homophobia, anyone? This holds up if Eddie is going to turn out to be - not open about himself, but comfortable in his skin in a way that, say, Frank isn’t. Which I have a feeling that will be the case, which would likely make Sally put on airs even more so than usual. 

Anyone else seeing a continuous trend of (social) masks and performances unfolding in the Neighborhood? I sure am.

But let’s talk about why I think they might be foils. They balance each other out in an interesting way, despite their only solid similarity being that Both will work/perform no matter the weather. They have a lot of closely related differences:

Eddie has been mentioned (and implied within the story so far) to have a deeper well of knowledge than he lets on, but acts humble about it. Sally has been mentioned (and implied) to know less than she portrays, but acts like a bit of a know-it-all - she pretends to know things that she doesn’t. 

Eddie’s role is about helping others at his own expense, while Sally’s is using others to reach fame. 

Eddie strives to connect with his Neighbors and is all about accuracy/precision. Sally is in her own little world and has proved to be more than willing to improvise / not think things through before acting.

Eddie is slow to anger, and Sally is easily irritated. 

Selfless vs Selfish.

Night vs Day. 

And to put them in the Johari Window - i believe that Sally resides in the Blind Spot (known to others, not known to self), and Eddie resides in either the Facade (not known to others, known to self) OR the Unknown (not known to others, not known to self). Personally I’m starting to believe that Eddie may reside in both. 

It’s far too early to draw any real conclusions, and theorizing on all of this is difficult. I feel as though - as usual - we have puzzle pieces but no frame of reference for the way they fit together, what picture they build. And who knows, tomorrow’s update may shred this to ribbons, but I doubt it. 

One thought I had was that they’re in cahoots about something - it doesn’t have to be something malicious or some sort of secret plot, it could simply be something they both know and are trying to keep quiet about. Eddie is trying to connect with Sally since they have this in common, but Sally is actively putting distance between them to preserve their secret / plausible deniability. Do I actually believe this? Meh. I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.

So current base thoughts: Sally is dismissive of Eddie either because he intimidates/scares her on an internalized level, or she’s actively trying to put distance between them for a currently unknown reason. There’s probably a secret third option I haven’t even considered!

#she's just so fascinatingly dismissive of him in a way she isn't with anyone else #she exclusively calls him 'mailman' she brushes him off when he tries to talk about her halloween costume- #i bet if anyone else has so much as Mentioned the word 'pedrolino' sally would be on them abt it #much like how barnaby had to Escape a convo w/ her bc she was that passionate #so what is it with eddie... why does she feel so strongly about him in such a negative way... #ITS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT <3 #there is so much to unpack there i feel but i dont have the right scissors yet... #homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #man i feel so bad for eddie #he's trying to be friendly!!! he's trying to be her friend so hard!!! MAN. #i suspect that if eddie snaps in some way (he probably will) it will likely be in relation to sally #bc no one else treats him that way. like. even like... howdy keeps up an amicable pretense #but sally is straight up out here treating him like a pack mule named 'mailman' and brushing him off with obvious disinterest/frustration #LIKE DAMN. GIRL. WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS #i love it. its fascinating. i cant wait to see how that unfolds

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering

[why-the-heck-not]

I have a handle on my procrastination

…. I accessorized Elvis (the sourdough starter)

#look is this in any way practical? no #but ohmygod it brings me joy #somewhere around cutting a pair of sunglasses out of paper to tape onto a jar of flour goo at midnight I had a wtf am I doing with my life #moment but anyways #could sort of use that as a marker to see where the starter was when I fed it but idk if it’ll stay there securely enough we’ll see #I also have some tape there just in case this falls off when I pick it up #sorry I’m talking so much abt the damn sourdough starter lol I swear I won’t be this annoying abt it always #it’s just so fun (?) to me for some reason lol #(I love food that’s alive in a not cruel way (fermentation bacteria etc etc. is super interesting to me)) #(also I just fed it so that’s why it’s looking a lil sad & unbubbly) #march 2024 #2024

[pitske]

ROTZBACKE! HAKENZAHN! OI! OI! OI!

#I know some people will disagree with me here and that is totally okay : #I grew up watching httyd and I absolutely prefer the german version over the og (which doesn't happen often) #I think it is so undeniably better in my opinion because it 1) is what I am used to #and 2) because I'm a northern german and the way they talk seems so close to home its just nice- #um's auf gut deutsch zu sagen: die hamburgern so schön /lh #of course in my family we mostly speak like that for emphasis or whatever but I JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE IT SO MUCH #I can speak along with the movie in its entirety in german I just-only piece of media that had more of an impact on my life than Undertale #I will say I am sadly not a third movie enjoyer. I'm sorry I just didn't like it very much but I respect the people who do #I also have only watched it once while I've watched rtte like... idk 3 times? #also finally getting to the drawing- I LOVE SNOTLOUT AND HOOKFANG SO MUCCH #also Rotzbacke's Synchronsprecher is just so damn funny- #oh btw Planzin and Tectco watched me go through the five stages of grief when I realized the reason why angel dust sounded so familiar #in the german dub was because the voice actor is the same guy who voice acts fishlegs in german #pitske’s art #pitskederdoenerhaendler #so much shit going down guys I need to draw the entire dragon rider crew #httyd fanart #httyd #snotlout #snotlout jorgenson #hookfang #how to train your dragon

[ofantediluvian]

The littlest things give Dove euphoria

#i wrote out the word lipstick bc I was like oh this makes sense then I doodled it #and was like…will people understand that. do they know that’s what I mean #&:):&:():? #anyways this idea wouldn’t leave my head and now I can rest #brain was like don’t forget it you gotta do it right meow #fav art of dove is from 2011 and no one was calling her dove then so I had a hard time finding my reference 😭 #saved it this time I won’t make that mistake again #even now I’m like…do people use dove for her??? how should I tag this????? #also using my hand holding a bottle of lotion as reference that’s why it’s kinda wonky #I’ve talked too much in these tags but damn I hate my handwriting lmfao #also hc that dove paints her nails red too she really accessorizes with it #and yes the red isn’t doves actual color in hs it’s just TOO BRIGHT #dove strider #fem dave strider #homestuck #homestuck fanart #my art #o art

[hajihiko]

every time I come across Content that isnt my own I get the thoughts and thinks. Too tired to do anything about it except this ig

#Coming to terms with the fact that I can share shitty dumb doodles and tag them even and it's not a crime #I'm not quite Ants In My Brain levels but the brains are scattered rn. #Anyway I love a relationship that is unlabeled and unknowable but gosh damn it is sincere and devoted #I was thinking of that 19 days bit. 'you're the strongest most badass little mo' or sth #ANYWAY! Not confident enough to tag this w my art tag so #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Hajime hinata #Kuzuhina #Attempting to go full ramble in the tags after the actual posting bc I just got shit to say I guess #Not valuable shit but shit nonetheless #They're good for each other they build each other up. Fuyuhiko was putting so much faith in Hajime from the get-go #Hajime is like dont give me too much credit no I dont wanna think about my talents. And Hiko is like nah man you're great (in his own way) #And Hajime encourages so much growth in Hiko which is WHY I think Hiko is so passionate in his loyalty #Hajime makes Fuyuhiko smile and laugh and reflect on his behaviour and talk about his experiences #They laugh TOGETHER in the middle of the killing game which is v sweet #Fuyuhiko is DESPERATE to prove that he's changed and that he wants to do good now and Hajime is just like 'okay you got it' #Like thassit. And then when they find out Hajime wasnt a talent student Fuyuhiko is like 'oh ok' #They accept each other very readily and they trust each other so much and idk maybe my brain is broken but #I FEEL like I feel a sincerity in their friendship #Like it's for life man they're already making plans for the future when they're friends (hiko especially) #Yeah I guess I'll save these tags. Idk I'm a little Ill of the Brain rn

[ghosts-cyphera]

shh that was the last post I’ll ever delete on my blog because I’m sleep deprived and took a sleeping pill and my thoughts are cloudy and then I read my posts in the morning like ?? and I’m not all about embarrassing myself like that so

we’re all just gonna collectively turn a blind eye on that

#I hate english sayings because if english is not your first language it’s like… learning a bunch of random combined words #that someone chose a new meaning to #and they never make sense #if your eye is blind why would you turn your head #like you can’t see anyway #fuck me I’m talking too much again #ANYHOW #I do love you all so very much and hope you have a wonderful evening mwah 💗 #lo talks #lo needs to shut her pie hole #another saying that makes no damn sense and it does not compel me either

[hella1975]

we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now #and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off #bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty #serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything #serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY #NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME #but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it #like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship' #bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life #BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH #that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company #and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭 #and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER #AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME #SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING #ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!! #hella goes to uni

[theophagie-remade]

People who fancy themselves intellectuals on this hellsite love to condescendingly bring up fandom issues to minimise them or go on about whataboutisms when the question simply is do you think people deserve to be told they ought to die or be abused over fiction and fantasies or nah

#''uwu fiction and reality have a complex relationship akchtually'' no shit. literally the only people who doubt this are the ones who #started making problems for everyone else. sorry you were too busy acting like you're above it all to notice #(why are you even bringing it up then?) #i'm pretty positive most people in fandom would love it if it was possible to go back to openly entertaining complex discussions about the #matter in more general settings and not isolated communities. if only Some People weren't always ready to start harassing others #over things that in the grand scheme of things don't really matter that much :) #but well. for how Above It All they like to act these people always do turn out to be anti-lites so... #fiction talk #+ another thing that annoys me is the whole. ''what do these terms even mean there's like 10 definitions🙄'' like. #eg i don't call myself proship because despite its origin as a term it Does give off the impression that this is just about ships #but still it does mean ''i mind my own damn business'' and that's what pretty much everyone who self identifies with it will tell you #so really. is it really that confusing. is it. or did you just ask what it meant to an ~anti~ and got Their definitions of it. #mytext

[spotsupstuff]

i sense how on the contrary, when moon is in Zeph’s local group the members will all go ‘omg youre actually letting us do this’ or be surprised of her leniency with almost anything(or if she gets upset she wont be yelling her ass off and will try to remain calm), because of how Zeph would usually be so strict with em and they didnt expect better

see- first you gotta understand that the chancla doesn't really Hurt the iterators. while they definitely can feel through their puppets, those things are made to be sturdy (throw a normal or singularity bomb into Pebs' chamber,he's fine, i know he just doesn't have health but worldbuilding is worldbuilding so i guess a fully functional iterator is fine with blackhole into the head). it maybe stings for a sec but it's not worse than gettin pinched (also where did you get that she yells at em, she's only exclaimed so far i think. if you check how she handled Innocence, that's how she generally goes about it- no yellin for the sake of puttin 'em in place, she's just venting out her frustrations into the air)

the Point of the chancla is to get the target's unwavering attention so she can talk some sense into them WITHOUT using the senior privilege which is far more invading since it cuts straight through their systems and forces the juniors to stop everything to pay attention. these things are giant supercomputers! they are going to have a different perspective on what counts as "too much"/"too bad" than us humans! it isn't used to limit what they are doing unless the thing they are gon do is explicitly threatening to their safety, the limiting is what the Senior Privilege does!

in that lil comic with Pebs, Suns, Nish, Inn and her, she doesn't actually even hit Nish in the last panel, the chancla is only supposed to suddenly appear from behind next to his face n he gets startled + drama queen points. i've admitted in the tags of it that i gave up on the last page so i don't blame anyone for not gettin that since i haven't put enough effort into communicating it

with what she's doin back in her own group, she Needs to be this strict if she wants her plan of keeping everyone reliably long-term safe to work

and her groupmates would undeniably miss her. they love her! they don't want some lenient stranger without constant spice to her instead of their ramshackle beloved Azzie!!!!

#Spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #remember!!!!! important point to her character that also bothered me at some point with how similar it makes her to Moon was that shes Kind #Zeph is kind almost as much as Moon but their situations- concerning all their past present and future- are strikingly different and so #their lives require them to have different approach to things. what Zeph is specifically doin different from Moon is that shes Firmer #strictness isnt wrong!!! if you arent strict on either yourself or the people around you then it is easy to breach boundaries n do- #-Terrible things. its. honestly why i got real sad when a peep asked me to tag that one post as abuse. its not that believe me Zeph would- #-Never abuse another iterator. shes specifically trying to get around that while still keepin them sensible. but ofc ill tag it as such 4 u #look where Moon's leniency got her! dead and hurt and everyone who loved her suffering! there are times when you Need to be firm and cut- #-a bad situation at its bud before it can spiral into something absolutely damning #i didnt include it cuz it isnt Funney™ but after each chancla she talks to the target about why what they did was wrong #Suns you cant send that. it can hurt him very badly. Innocence you need to respect other people. Pebbles this will Hurt me if u keep doing- #-what you are doing right now. it could *kill* me. why are you doing this in the first place? do you need to talk? need me to listen? #being strict and being cruel or dictatorial are different things

[pls-just-let-me-marry-yeung]

I have a confession : this is the first time I'm married with Elliot and I have no clue if he's like this in the vanilla game too or is just the mods I have for him BUT damn he's so romantic and such a drama queen and omg I love him so much 😭✋🏻

If you see him tho??? When he rants to me about his busy day (guys he's been going to Robin to talk about idk what trapdoor behind the house three times by now only to walk all over there it takes 1h let alone the talk with Robin and the return walk back he's so silly and for what I HAVE A PHONE FOR A REASON SIR) or when he starts talking about me like he's reciting poetry and and him talking about his writing career which IS SUCH A MOOD like sir I could not relate to him more and and and him going to fishing so he could make dinner guys he makes us dinner too is some fish dish of course because he caught us a fish to make dinner despite my very full fridge with fish because he's that kind of person guys guys and the tulip THE FREAKING TULIP he'll sometimes give me a tulip and is so nice because I KNOW he buys them from somewhere (there's no tulip missing from my farm) but I don't know from where because I'm the only florist in this goddamn town if you don't include Granny and omg he's such a good husband guys he's so so omg HE'S WORSHIPPING ME WITH HIS WORDS GUYS he's so silly and for what???? FOR WHAT????

Edit : Fuck the person who said in their diary the only nice thing about Elliot is his nice chin YOU'RE WRONG HE'S FREAKING PERFECT AND WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM. our little french codded guy. so silly and for what man for what

#For anyone wondering I have both 'Even more dialogue Elliot' and 'Elliot Marriage Dialogue Rewritten' so this might be why he's so perfect #But damn I did not expect him to be so so #AFSGHDJFNFJDJWJ #I love him so much guys I'm not even joking #Ofc Alex is the love of my life. But Elliot? I understand Elliot in a spiritual way #When I hear him talk more often than not I'm like 'I know man I know I feel your pain do whatever you gotta do my man I support you' #My silly man #Going fishing to make dinner when the fridge is full of fish. I love him so much #sdv elliott #stardew valley elliott #Sdv #Stardew valley

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things. #i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

[hauntingblue]

Luffy eating watermelon 🍉

#and like are we sure jewelry bonney isnt her daughter.... pink hair... loves food... idk #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 787 #jinbe again!!! well yes he wqs a subordinate for big mom last time he spoke with king neptune #i forgor #damn her own son.... just took his life expectancy #i have a feeling this hasn't happened before... so what's the deal with the crocantbouche #JINBE WITH THE CROQUEMBOUCHE!! #why is the food real here ajdhakdj omg.... and jinbe is just letting them die.... well she killed her son already #JINBE BROUGHT HER A PONEGLYPH???? its probs the one in gyojin right... i mean what acces does he have to others #JINBE NAKAMA TIME!!!! FINALLY!!!! #omg me wondering why am i getting showed ace dying again.... jinbe was there thru all that i forgor he was the mvp on marineford #that was so emotive..... #JINBEEEEEEEEE #episode 789 #jinbe saying how luffy will be king of the pirates omg...... yeah!!! he galked about luffy that much.... he is such an uncle #the sun pirates basically telling him to do you.... get a vacation from putting others first man #aladdin married a daughter of mama ajdhaksjsk #i think they are abusing the letting music extend to the ad break credits.... before they did it in important moments now its just every #two episodes.... #pedro was looking for poneglyphs.... #brook being amazed at luffy..... yeah.... #nami just casual in her armor..... #SANJI ON THE COAST????? SANJIIIII #episode 790