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#will think abt texting him on a day that isn’t tomorrow bc tomorrow’s gonna be too much and I would like to have some time to chill sometime
exopelagic · 3 months
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I wiped out so hard tonight my KNEES
#I fell over. so many times. including two of the worst falls I’ve had in a WHILE#god the first one literally like minute and a half on the ice i lose a foot under me and do the splits. crash into the barriers#I am notably Not flexible I cannot do the splits. I don’t know how I kept skating afterwards#the worst fall I have ever had however was right at the end and the thing that made me get off#we were playing a thing and both me and this other guy we’re trying to catch this girl who turned out to be Also going very fast#three way collision all falling forwards on top of each other#we SLID there were BLADES BY MY HEAD im lucky im short im amazed nobody got actually hurt#except like. my knees which are now staging a coup I rlly should ice them but I don’t have ice and I just wanna sleep#but GOD tonight was a mixed bag#i have acquired the instagram and will probably get him on committee if he sends me the thing#also slowly thinking hrm yeah he’s probably straight#anyway good news: i think we’re pretty solidly friends now. bad news: prooobably regrettably heterosexual#idk straight guys shouldn’t be allowed to be cute and funny and good at skating it’s not fair#aaaanyway. it’s my own fault bc I meet most new people through hockey now and this sport is pretty notoriously not queer#it’s a little different here but the people who end up Good are largely not yknow. and I am unfortunately into guys who can skate#also they end up being the people I actually get to talk to with what I do. dumb as hell. they should invent gay hockey players#anyway my assessment is still vibes based there’s time for me to be proven wrong but we will see. it’d be funny if he was queer after this#will think abt texting him on a day that isn’t tomorrow bc tomorrow’s gonna be too much and I would like to have some time to chill sometime#anyway this is my periodic reminder to myself that I’m literally just Allowed to have feelings. fucked up that it’s true#but like it’s just. allowed. and it’s not even that I’m dumb or have bad taste or smth like that and over like what.#almost two years? there have been 5 guys total. mr prick who WAS queer unfortunately. and while the other four did turn out to be straight#that was due to 1. guy literally had rainbow fucking stick tape and Everyone thought he was gay. also I was just kinda fucking around there#2. talked to him like three times before asking him out. agrees to dinner bc he thinks it’s funny. 3. many signals bc bunch of queer friends#still unconfirmed but be does have a girlfriend ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 4. okay maybe I should know better by now but he’s cute okay I’m allowed to hope#it’s not even like I’ve DONE anything other than talk to him dude you’re fine you’re allowed to feel things#aaaanyway. bed now. eepy. will talk to him later. he complimented my hair okay I’m done now going to sleep#very sorry to anyone who reads these tags for just going on abt this guy but also no I’m not scroll down#luke.txt
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velvetgons · 5 years
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hyunsuk as your boyfriend
word count; 3.3k i’m sorry 
warnings; hmm i don’t think anything but possibly swearing i can’t be sure!! 
requested; no uwu i’m a new blog :) 
(also to gif makers; if you don’t want me to use your gif for any reason please just tell me and i’ll remove it!! apologies in advance if that’s the case!!) 
gif credit; bggon on tumblr!! please tell me if you’d like it removed :)
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ok so uh let’s just give it a lil background
you decide to go out n get some new clothes bc u know. u got some extra money to spend why not
and you take some of your friends!! and you’re shopping and having a good time and everything is great
until you see this cute lil blue dress and you’re like ‘that’s The One, i need that dress……very necessary to my daily life’
so you tell your friends that you’re just gonna go find your size and they’re all “yes!! get the cute dress!! we’ll see you at the check-out!!”
so you’re about to grab the dress when you see,, the exact same dress except this time! it’s in red
so now you’re completely torn obviously because :// do you want the blue one or the red one,, they’re both cute,, but what’s gonna look nicer on you,,
and you’re just kinda stood there staring at them both because it turns out both colours have your size and now you don’t know what to do with urself
n just as your about to pout and go find one of your friends to help you pick you hear a Boy VoiceTM  
and it’s just a quiet lil, “you should get the red one!”
but it makes you turn around because whom said that to you
and you see….a cute boy….just kinda smiling at you while he looks at a shirt or something,, and he smiles even bigger when you look at him and just kinda shrugs before saying, “it’s a prettier colour!!”
part of you is like ?? i’m not gonna get the red one just because a random stranger thinks it’s a cool colour
but the other part of you wins because it’s like “:) you’re right red is a rlly cute colour :) i’ll get this one thank u fashion advice stranger”
and he smiles back at you before he turns back to the clothes he’s looking at and you know you’re supposed to just grab the dress and go now
but. you,, want the cute boy stranger to turn around again,, so u grab another random two articles of clothing and tap him on the back to be like “what about out of these two??”
and you just. keep doing it. and he keeps answering,, to the point where he doesn’t even turn around anymore because he’s giving you all his Focus
so now you have an armful of clothes that ur not gonna buy and he’s offering to carry some for u while u get them checked out and ur like “haha! of course! this is a great idea!”
and like. he isn’t dumb he knows what ur doing so he’s like. hyping himself up in his head like ‘come on!!! she’s clearly into you!! you’ve got this!! just…ask her out and if she says no! it’s all good! we’ve got this bro!’
so he takes a deep ass breath (n u think for a second that you’ve done something wrong) n is like “or…u could like idk man just…idk get the cute red dress and wear it…when i pick you up for a date…maybe like…tomorrow or something…” and in his head it sounds really smooth n nonchalant
but in reality it’s just a jumble of incoherence but you heard date and tomorrow so you’re like “yes!!!!!!!!!! yes this is Very Good i am free tomorrow pls do that” n give him your phone to save his number in
and he’d save it as ‘fashion god (a.k.a hyunsuk)’ with like fifty hearts next to it
((also as a side note you’d have to text him ur own name because he wouldn’t even ask for it in the store…… a charismatic king))
and that would be the story you’d have to give to your kids one day about how you met their dad :) very romantic
anyway! with that being said! let’s get into actually dating him
hyunsuk is a Loud Boy and is most of the time a Happy Boy
and he would constantly try and make sure that you’re feeling equally as happy as him because!! he really just hates the idea of you being upset or down
he hates it so much when your upset because of something outside of his control (like school, work, college) because he just doesn’t know how to fix it?? and he’d resort to doing really dumb stuff to get you to smile at him !! because seeing you :( makes his heart physically hurt
honestly he would melt if you did the same thing for him…..like….if you showed clear concern for him or hyped him up in anything he does the babey smile you know the one loll and feels his heart go zooooooom
i don’t think he’d actively go out of his way to show affection in public but it would definitely just happen
like. sometimes he’s just walking and the next thing he knows he’s tangling his hand with yours and giving your knuckles each a lil kiss
or you’re standing in front of him and his arms just kinda outstretch and pull you really close to him and he’s burying his face into the crook of your neck
or you’re just stood next to him minding your business when you’re tugged into his side and feel him leaving lil kisses on your cheeks while he calls you cute
all of his friends are Disgusted and beg him to not do that right in front of them 24/7 but like. he genuinely doesn’t notice until he’s already done it
however! if you initiated affection (in public) he,,,, blushes,,
in private you two are always attached somehow so it’s more unusual for you two not to be touching
his favourite form of affection would be when you were cuddling and you snuggled your face into his chest ! he’d literally go blank for a second before he’d yell something abt u being cute
i also personally see hyunsuk as someone who would wanna talk about so much all the time??? like…his mind is just buzzing with stuff all the time and he’d love having someone to share that with
and you’d have to do this late at night a lot (because of his schedule) but when he’d come to yours and if you were still awake, you’d both kinda just lay facing each other in bed with ur pinkies linked really loosely while you talked about a bunch of different stuff
they’d be long conversations too!!! you wouldn’t need to ask each other what you’d been up to that day because you’d be talking pretty much all day oof
so you’d be talking to each other about random stuff you thought of!! he’ll ask you about your views on stuff like ghosts and aliens and conspiracy theories, and you’ll get to hear his, and he’ll talk to you about his favourite songs and why they’re his favourites and he’ll really want you to explain yours too, he’d also ask dumb stuff like “do u think fish can see water” and would want a genuine answer 
but overall those would go on for hours and you’d only know he was ready to finally sleep when he curled an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him
speaking of cuddling!! hyunsuk would go between being the little spoon or having you lie on his chest to sleep
he loves being the little spoon because,, it’s such a warm experience,, so safe,, and bundled up,, and he’d definitely wrap himself up in a blanket before doing it for Maximum Comfort
but! he also loves having you sleep on his chest because “you’re my baby!! you’re so small it’s where you belong!!” (even if you’re taller than him hyunsuk what) he just,, loves how close you feel to him when he knows you can hear his heartbeat and he can feel how warm you are and he can see you falling asleep and it makes him feel so !! warm inside
he’d definitely introduce you to his friends really quick into dating you lol because?? what if you guys don’t get along?? they literally mean The World to him??
but of course you would i mean. what’s not to like
and they’d tell you embarrassing stories about him (seunghun would go into immense detail of how hyunsuk talked about your first date, including an oscar worthy rendition of hyunsuk talking about your first kiss)
you’d probably tell hyunsuk that you were scared of byounggon and hyunsuk would CACKLE
he’d be like “him?? he?? he’s a Baby! he’s the Sweetest Boy!” and then place all of his efforts into getting you and byounggon to be certified best friends
and like. it would work but more because you and byounggon had to bond over who would take care of him in his chaotic inventive ways to get you and byounggon to talk and communicate (including: accidentally locking you two in the practice room so you’d talk through ‘your issues with one another’ which would literally end up with you showing byounggon dumb pictures you had of hyunsuk on your phone and him giving you music recommendations)
[a/n; using that as a way to talk about something else,, writer of the year :)] we all obviously know that hyunsuk is very music orientated as a person!!! and he wouldn’t hesitate to share that with you through either his performances, his producing, or just music he likes
he’d make multiple playlists for you that would be for different things! (songs he wants to show you, songs that remind him of you, songs he wants to you to listen to and tell him whether performing them would be a good idea etc.)
he’d also love for you to show him your favourite music because he’d personally see music sharing as something very intimate and special!!! and if you ever told him about songs that reminded you of him he might actually have a heart palpitation
but i think in general he’d wanna be involved with something you’re interested in because you supported him so much in his passion!! if you were into art, he’d wanna know all about what you were drawing/painting and he’d find cute museums to go to together! if you were into writing, he’d wanna know what you were writing about and he’d wanna find you cool notebooks and stationary to use for it! he’d just wanna involve himself in any way possible to let u know he cared about it too!!
now onto his other Big Hobby
he…is now your personal stylist…a fashion king…he will not let you change his name in your phone…
he wants to go shopping to find cool clothes all the time! and now he has someone else to take with him! and someone else to try and dress!
i know there’s like the dumb Boyfriend Trope of ‘no :( you can’t wear that because it’s revealing :(‘ but like………hyunsuk wouldn’t care lmao
he sees something he thinks you’d look cute in?? he immediately jumps to get you to try it on for him!! it’s not a weird thing he’s just a fashion king and needs everyone to know that you two are the Best Dressed Couple
speaking of which! dating hyunsuk would be such a healthy thing !
he’d be a lil heavy-handed at first just because he’s not 100% on what he’s actually supposed to be doing
but once he figures out how dating actually works, it’s over for literally everyone else
like, at first, he might get jealous quite a lot because :(( what if u find someone better :(( but then he’d kinda re-evaluate and be like ‘i could…literally talk about this…what’s stopping me…’
and then you’d have a conversation about it where you’d reassure him that he’s your man!! you like Love him and stuff!!
from then on i think dealing with issues that came up in your relationship would just,,, get easy to him??
like, you’re jealous over someone else? that’s okay, you guys can talk about it and work it out!! he’s stressed and tired and just wants alone time? he’ll explain it to you in a calm n rational way without snapping at you!! you snap at him because you’re stressed and tired and just want alone time? he understands, but he tells you to tell him next time!!
he just can’t comprehend that any of the things you two work through are actually genuine problems for other couples because?? he finds them so easy to avoid
that’s not to say you two wouldn’t argue, because like, everyone does. but arguments would just,, end so quickly because
first of all: he hates there being tension between you two, and hates the idea of upsetting you even more
and second of all: he’d calm down quick enough to talk things through calmly and discuss a good way for both of you to fix your problems
and ! the relationship would never ever feel one-sided
you’d support him so much!! you’d remind him to get sleep, and to eat and drink regularly, and to not take the criticisms too harshly because he knows how good he is
((a side note: you’d probably Go Off at some point about yg and how gross he is for being so mean and never complimenting hyunsuk because you knew it upset him and you’d be ranting and gesturing around with your hands and probably yelling a lil bit and hyunsuk would just be looking at you like (✿╹◡╹) because his heart is so warm while you’re talking about burning the yg building down for him))
and he’d support you just as much!! he’d remind you to not overthink things, and to take breaks if you had studying to do, and would call you at least once a day if his schedule was packed just to get a quick run-down on how your day was going
also, on the topic of phone calls, sometimes he’d just call you and leave the call going while he did other stuff
most of the time it’d be while he did writing or producing
but if he wanted you to ‘be there’ during his dance practices he’d facetime and just kinda,,, leave it going while him and everyone else did their routine
and you’d either be doing other stuff or watching but either way you’d hype them all up for how well they were doing
and hyunsuk is( ̄ε ̄ʃƪ)because oh boy!! he loves you a whole bunch
onto another topic but he’d really wanna have you meet his family only after he knew it was gonna be serious with you two !
and he’d already know his family would love you so he wasn’t stressed (you definitely were, but he was just like “no!!! they’ll love you because they love me!!!”) and from then he’d really love for you to be close to his family
but oh boy meeting your family. he’d have a heart-attack
what if they didn’t like him?? what if they thought he was a bad influence?? he couldn’t handle that
(you’d go to meet them and you’d be calming him down because “you’re literally the cutest sweetest most charming boy i have ever met?? how could anyone ever hate you??”) and he’d still be super nervous but. two minutes into being through the door he has it! he’s got ur whole family just as whipped for him as you are by the time he leaves
he’s like the meme of ‘your mum asked me to ask if you wanted to come to dinner with us at your house tonight :)’
hyunsuk is also definitely the type to wanna get you guys a couple item!! and he’d try and find something really ugly because he’d think it was funny to see your reactions to the cringy couple shirts and hoodies
but then one day he’d come over n be like “hello i have done it again!!”
and ur like “oh no. why. what did you do. i’m too young to go to prison hyunsuk pls”
and he’s all “:) no silly we finally have a couple item”
and ur immediately like. “no. i won’t have it. take it back! no more micky and minnie mouse matching hoodies!! i won’t do it and you can’t make me!!!”
but he’s like “no i promise it’s a good one this time :( please”
so u allow him one chance…..just one….to prove himself…..
and boy! does he do it!
he gets out a cute lil box n he’s chanting like a lil kid when he gives it to you and he’s like, “open it open it open it!!”
and you do and :(( it’s this cute lil locket and you look up at him like :O
and he’s grinning so big and nodding for you to open it and when you do there’s your favourite picture of him in it and you’re !! so happy that you don’t know what to do with yourself
but then he’s like “wait! that isn’t even the best part!” and he shuffles about for a second and wham! he’s wearing a matching one
and ur like :O this is the cutest thing in the entire whole wide world
but ! he opens it up and he’s grinning at u n he looks like he knows something you don’t and there!! is a picture of you where you’re in a shirt of his and the lighting’s kinda bad because you’re kinda sat up in ur bed and ur grinning real big at something
and ur like “:/ hyunsuk that is the ugliest picture of me”
he would be. genuinely offended. he would pop off ! he would be gesturing around with his hands and rambling about how “that’s so dumb??? u look so happy?? and so cute??? and it’s my favourite picture of you ever???”
from that day obviously you wouldn’t take yours off because uhm that’s so cute
but like you just think he’ll wear his when it fits in with whatever the current days LookTM is
but………he wears it All the time…..(but he does take it off to sleep n shower because he’s scared to damage it!!!)
also i firmly believe hyunsuk isn’t the type to get jealous very easily anyway, but as i said earlier he wouldn’t find talking about it difficult
like,, if there was a situation where someone was being too touchy with you and it made him uncomfortable then he’d wait until later and then tell you kinda like, “hi idk what u think of this but it just made me kinda uncomfy :// can we talk abt it” and you would !! and you’d find something that worked for both of you !!
i mean hyunsuk really is like. that boyfriend
i know this is super long already so i’m gonna go into a quick fire bit;
he would completely and totally buy you chapsticks whenever he saw any !! like now he just buys two of each as a natural reaction to seeing them
leaves u notes if he has to leave early however they’re not like ‘ily see u later mwah’ they’re more like dumb jokes he thinks of or drawings of weird animal combinations he thinks of
totally accidentally steals the covers in the night if you guys move away from each so he buys you the cutest most fluffy blanket he can find as an apology
also!! his kisses would be the best ever?? he loves giving you lil cheek and forehead kisses 24/7
has to give you one (1) kiss every time you have to leave and one (1) kiss every time he sees you  
but he gives you two (2) kisses every single time you compliment him!!!
overall! i think hyunsuk would be one of the most relaxed and easy-going ((and best but you didn’t hear that from me)) boyfriends anyone could ever have
thank you for coming to my ted-talk
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assholemurphy · 6 years
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i got all the units done and made the base for my graph. all i’ve got left to do is create wiggly lines at various tempos. hopefully i can copy and paste or find some on google images and strip them down in photoshop to make it go faster. actually, i should be able to do that regardless, so i think i’m gonna create them in photoshop and paste them into my word doc, but idk if i can paste images over shapes (lines) so i’ll have to test it before i put in too much work, but if it does work, i’ll only need 11 speeds, so it should take roughly an hour to make all of them (bc they have to look good). after that, i just have to add in text boxes (which i hope to also copy and paste, but if i can’t, it’s nbd, just a bit more work) and paste all the wiggly lines onto the graph at those points, which should take roughly another hour. so, i’ve got two hours of work left to do. and then i have to watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical on netflix. i can do the lines and stuff while at the drs office and (depending on how long i spend with my mom) before rehearsal. i might be able to watch s:tm before rehearsal, i might not. but, after class i have like, an hour free before my mom gets here, and i think i’m gonna nap, maybe. that should be enough to keep me going for the rest of the day. then, before bed, i’ll email this shit to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman and crash. or hang out with friends, idk just yet. i have an hour and a half before class rn, so i’m gonna get dressed, take my meds, and smoke, then i’ll see how long i have left, drink another monster, and maybe watch s:tm now. maybe.
we’re working on our monologues in class, so that means i’ll have some time to read atf and work on my mono character analysis. idk what’s happening in stagecraft, i just know i need to talk to prof j abt the spotlight shit i’m doing so ik wtf i’m doing. hopefully she doesn’t realize i’m dead tired. fingers crossed we can fake alertness, baby. done it before.
after that, i’mma nap for an hour, then go to my drs appt and work on my graph in the waiting room/while waiting to talk to the dr. hopefully i can get my adderall upped (not bc i want to abuse it, but bc it wears off too fast and it’s honestly not strong enough anymore bc i can’t focus after it levels out unless i constantly drink energy drinks and that’s not healthy). it’ll mean i probs won’t be able to abuse it ever again, tho, bc i’m afraid it would be too high to do that bc it already makes my heart race as is when i do that, but if it actually does its damn job the right fucking way, i won’t need to. that would be nice. i just want my fucking brain to work right, dammit. it’s all i want. if my brain could function in polite society, i’d be set. so, i’ll talk to him abt that, and abt my migraines and see if he can run some tests or something to see why they’re coming back (i’m p sure it’s stress/lack of sleep, but idk, that wasn’t what it was last time, so i’m a little worried).
but for now; meds, clothes, smoke, s:tm. in that order. then class. where i will try not to die. (tho, technically, i could get away with working on my graph in class if i wanted to, since my analysis isn’t due until tues and i can work on it this weekend, but the graph stuff is due (not technically, but hurricane biance is demanding it be done) by 11a tomorrow. like, i do get why, but the bitch could have been a little nicer abt it. or, idk, told me over fall break that he wanted it before the 19th??? ya know, when i had fucking time to do it???? fucking dumbass doesn’t give two shits abt anyone but himself. i’m p sure he’s not gonna like my work and is gonna either make me redo it or do it himself (and make me feel like shit) just bc it isn’t a++ material. it’s fuck a material, asshat. ik bc i’m good at hw, i just don’t do well with fake deadlines and no sleep. bitch. one day karma’s gonna knock him on his stupid ass and i’ll laugh myself to death. it’ll be great. i don’t know why ppl like him. he’s a horrible person. bitchy, snobby, flamboyant, and rude af. he’s just a jackass with no real personality or empathy.
so, i’mma get ready for class and try not to die. y’all cats have a great ass day. drink water, eat a vegetable, take a nap, punch a facist, whatever it takes to make your day great.
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folkloreguk · 7 years
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Pick Me Up (optional bias smut)
(yes I did use ioi’s song as a title for my smut pls don’t fight me) 
warnings: smut, horrible pick-up lines
pairing: reader (fem) x optional bias (male)
A/N: I thought about Ilhoon from BTOB when I wrote this but you can literally imagine anyone! I didn’t proof read this bc it’s late and I wanted to post it, but I’ll do that tomorrow. I hope you won’t find mistakes and even if you do, enjoy reading!! x
(H/N means “his name”)
[I wish I could tag my masterlist here, but if I do this post won’t show up for you guys anymore, but I havea link in my description!]
You were convinced. He was the most annoying fuckboy you had ever met. There were at least 10 other girls in your class, that were just as good looking as you. But for some reason he had chosen you. You didn’t understand why, but ever since he had first seen you, he hadn’t stopped trying to get with you. The amount of times he had asked you for your number was out of control. Not that you were going to give it to him any time soon.
You had to admit, he was smooth. He never seemed to run out of energy when it came to making up pick-up lines and asking you about your previous boyfriend. You had broken up with him after he had cheated on you. It turned out he had only been in it for the sex, and it prompted you to have lost all trust in boys. Otherwise, mr. fuckboy was the annoying but smart kid in class, who every teacher wanted to hate. They simply couldn’t, though, because no matter how many silly remarks he made, he always made up for them with just as many clever ones. He did manage to make you laugh too, at times when you weren’t busy being annoyed at him. All he seemed to think about was sex. And you.
The worst part about hating his acting though, was, by far, his handsomeness. Of course you would never admit it in his presence, but you didn’t exactly think he was ugly. But being attractive wasn’t all it took to make you open up to him. A boy. Boys, of whom you knew you shouldn’t trust them ever again. Sometimes you felt yourself doubting your devotion when you stared at him. When he grinned slyly after having made a smooth remark towards you before he turned around in his seat, facing the teacher who had probably warned him about interrupting the lesson already. But you were strong-willed.
“Shut up,” you muttered at him under your breath, glancing at the clock in the corner of the class room. 5 minutes to go. You can do this. He grinned, not fazed by your comment. He had just showed you an actual screw he had brought from home. “Wanna screw?” had his exact words been. You had never been this done with anyone. Lucky for him, your teacher had no interest in warning his students for interrupting. Especially because no one was listening anymore when there were only 4 minutes of the lesson left.
“I admit, not my best one. Here’s another one,” he said. Oh boy, here we go again. “If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?”
You wished in that exact moment you could slap his smirk off his face. Why did he have to sit in front of you? 3 minutes left.
“Your chances are smaller than zero, how many times do I have to tell you?” you muttered.
“Actually, my chances would be 50%. But I guess you- Ow!” he let out, as you had smacked his arm playfully. “You know you’ll say yes one day.”
“In your dreams,” you laughed ironically. “Can’t you just behave like any other normal student for a minute?”
And so he did. For the last minute, he turned around and shut up. You were almost impressed. Now and then you caught him taking a glimpse at the clock on the wall, eager to leave just like anyone else in the room. At the same time, you caught yourself staring at him. Black skinny jeans, deep blue sweater, some sneakers. Nothing out of the ordinary. His hair looked a little messy from where he ran his hand through it earlier (Not that you had noticed that, too). Then, the bell rang. Finally. Voices bubbled up and chairs scratched over the floor. You packed your bag just as he stood up, placing his own bag on his table. Rummaging through it, he pulled his phone out, checking the screen. A second later, his face darkened in concern.
“Crap. There’s something wrong with my phone,” he cursed. You were 900% ready to get out of this classroom, but being the good person you were, you worried at his genuinely stressed expression. When he was being normal for a minute, you couldn’t help but be polite.
“What is it?” you asked. He looked at you for a moment, then sighed.
“Your number isn’t in it,” he said, sounding completely serious. Was he for real?
“And that’s the way it should be,” you caught yourself. “I need my break from you when I’m at home.”
And with that, you left him standing. If you just had his determination and used it for school work, you’d have heavenly grades. You dragged your body home, feeling unusually tired. You didn’t have a big appetite, which was unusual, and couldn’t focus on anything.
The next day you were sick. You were sure it was nothing serious, but decided to stay at home either way. At least in your bed you would be left alone. No pick-up lines for a day seemed like a week of holidays to you. It was a Thursday filled with coughing, sipping hot tea and watching your favorite TV show. You felt better in the evening, but not exactly healthy.
The next day you walked into the kitchen. It was morning and you were ready to leave for school again. The second your mother heard the ugly cough leave your throat, though, she sent you straight back to bed. Fine, you thought. Even though you didn’t feel sick anymore, another day in bed surely wouldn’t hurt. It was Friday anyway, allowing you to be excited about the weekend already.
Around noon you decided to check your phone for messages from your friends. You were sure you had missed homework and other school stuff you didn’t exactly feel like dealing with. To your surprise, none of your friends had messaged you about homework. Instead, you found a text from an unknown number.
unknown number: hey
                                                you: who is this?? 
unknown number: if you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you
                                               you: how the hell did u get my number??????? 
unknown number: we got paired up for a project
                                               you: what u talking abt??? 
unknown number: mr. smiths made us a pair for the history projects so ur friend had to give me ur number. its due to monday
                                               you: what the hell???? 
unknown number: I didn’t come up with the dead line
unknown number: btw what’s with all the question marks
                                              you: it’s called confusion
                                              you: so when do we meet up? 
unknown number: tomorrow? my place
You knew your parents wouldn’t be at home all day, and praying that his would be, you said yes. So there was still a small chance you wouldn’t have to spend an entire afternoon in a house alone with him.
On Saturday afternoon you had thrown on a random sweater with some pants, your sneakers and left your house. When you pulled up in his driveway you instantly noticed the lack of cars. He’s not getting into my pants, you told yourself. Why did you even have to remind yourself? For some reason, you felt nervous.
He ripped the door open around two seconds after you had rang the bell. In surprise, you flinched. The way he leaned against the door frame and grinned smugly made you frustrated. And you hadn’t even entered the house.
“Come in,” he made a dramatic gesture behind him, waving you inside. It almost made you laugh. Almost.
“Okay, first of all, rules.” You entered the house and looked around.
“Rules? What is this? BDSM?” he asked. You rolled your eyes. He nodded his head towards the stairs and you followed him.
“Focus,” you said, making him chuckle even more. “No pick-up lines. We need to get stuff done if this needs to be finished by Monday. I really need a good grade on this. Smiths already hates me for no reason.”
“Do I really distract you that badly?” he asked, smirking and turning around to you. His hair was messy, but in a good-looking way. His collar bones peeked out from under his shirt. You guessed he did distract you a little.
“See? That’s what I meant. Keep those comments in. At least until we’re back at school,” you said, entering his room after him. It looked cozy, and like he had just cleaned up. You hadn’t expected him to be messy, but not this clean either.
“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s literally my character, if you haven’t noticed yet, sweetheart,” he said, sitting down at his table, smirking again.
“Sweetheart?” you asked in disbelief. You realized that he wouldn’t stop with his comments until you did. And because fighting wouldn’t get you anywhere, you decided to shut up and start working. Your topic was the most boring subject you had ever heard about, making it even more bothersome to research it. It had been at least three hours. He had kept quite calm throughout it all, but you still seemed to struggle to make progress. You had taken your space on the floor, leaning against his bed. Around you, pens and papers were sprawled across the floor while you bit your lip trying to figure out a structure for your presentation.
“I need a break,” he murmured quietly from his desk. You only hummed, your thoughts focused on the presentation. Your hand ran through your hair, sighing in stress. He cleared his throat, making you jump.
“Looks like you could need a break too,” he laughed. “I’m gonna get a glass of water. Do you want one as well?”
Still in concentration, you snapped out of your trance slowly. You got up while nodding, deciding he was right, for once.
You watched the back of his head as he walked. The work had made you sleepy and dizzy, a little as if you were drunk. Crazy thoughts flooded your brain all of a sudden. Your fingertips tickled at the thought of running your hands through his hair, down the nape of his neck. You had always loved his neck, you just never had admitted it. Shaking your head, you asked yourself what had suddenly gotten into you. All you hoped for was for the water to wake you up and let you focus again. You entered the kitchen.
You thanked him when he handed you a glass of cold water. After you had downed it, you still didn’t think clearer.
“I don’t think we’ll get to finish this today. My mom wants me to be home by eight for dinner,” you admitted. It was already half eight. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
For a moment he blinked at you, then he grinned. You already knew what that expression meant.
“I mean…hopefully you…,” he mumbled. When you playfully lifted your hand as if to smack him, he held up both hands in surrender and giggled. “Okay! I don’t have plans, alright?”
“That’s literally all you had to say,” you let out, shaking your head at him.
“Y/N. Be honest for once. You like my pick-up lines,” he urged you. You laughed ironically. “Deep down, you do.”
“You drive me insane,” you said.
“That wasn’t a no!” he yelled in success, putting down his glass. “Come on. What’s so bad about me? What wrong have I ever done to you?”
You were taken aback by his sudden question. What wrong had he done to you? He had never been rude, only his goofy, sex-obsessed self. You glanced at his face. His eyes were waiting for an answer, hands crossed above his chest.
“I’m just not very fond of boys after my ex cheated-” you began.
“Seriously? You compare me to your ex-boyfriend?” he asked, genuinely offended. It was true, he was nothing like your ex. Much funnier, to begin with.
“I’m not comparing you! I guess I just don’t want to get involved with a guy any time soon,” you admitted.
“It’s not like I want to get married to you!” he argued.
“Wow, thanks,” you laughed at his defensiveness. “What do you want, then?”
He tilted his head at your question as if saying “Are you serious?”. Suddenly, he took a step towards you, startling you. Your body backed up against the counter, hands gripping the hard material as he studied your face.
“You know exactly what I want,” he breathed out. His face was so close to yours, you could feel the air from his lungs on your skin. It made your heart beat restlessly. His hand went under your chin, as if telling you. It was you, he wanted. You waited for his lips, but they never touched yours. He was waiting for your reaction. You realized he wasn’t going to kiss you without your consent. The boy wasn’t just determined, he also had one hell lot of self-control. Unlike you.
You closed the space between the two of you, lips colliding. Kissing him felt like triggering an avalanche of built-up frustration and emotions that had only been waiting to break free. His hands grabbed your sides roughly. He finally had what he wanted. In agreement, he let out a low sound when you pushed your body against his, chests touching. His tongue swiped over your lip, and you opened your mouth instantly. He tasted of bubble gum and smelled of cologne. His hands were even more eager than his mind, exploring your hips and waist, tugging at your clothes impatiently. You felt as if a ton-heavy weight was slowly lifting off you as you relaxed against his controlling touch and dominant kisses. He was right. Sex wouldn’t hurt your feelings. Not like your ex-boyfriend had. But your thoughts of him washed away in a blink when the boy in front of you pulled away and turned his attention to your neck. Your breath was shaky when he kissed you roughly, his teeth scraping against your skin. For a moment you let your head hang back, closing your eyes. His lips were soft but so passionate at the same time.
When your eyes opened, they fell onto the clock above the fridge. It was five to eight. Your eyes widened in shock.
“Wait, hold on,” you mumbled, softly tugging at his shirt. The look he gave you resembled a puppy whose food had been taken away. “I gotta get home, or else my mom kills me. She wants to have a family dinner. I’m sorry.”
He pouted, but nodded hesitantly. You wished you could’ve just been that rebel that ignored their parents for once. But that’s not who you were.
“But you’ll come over again tomorrow, right?” he asked, hope in his look as he showed you the way to the door.
“Yeah. To finish the project,” you emphasized.
“Sure,” he grinned, rolling his eyes. For the first time, you couldn’t blame him for thinking about sex now.
“I mean it! We’re not even halfway through, especially the presentation is not even close to finishing. We still need to write the entire text and draw the map. It’ll never work out,” you suddenly started to worry. Tomorrow was your last day and you had to spend it working with a boy that was sexually frustrated because of you. Which you, by the way, were as well.
“I’ll work on it tonight, maybe I get to finish it,” he said, completely calm.
“If you finish the project tonight I’m the princess of China,” you joked.
“And you’d let me have what I want?” he asked, unfazed. Let him have what he wanted. You laughed at him. There was no way he could finish the project by himself, in that short time. But a boy can dream.
“Yeah, sure,” you said, already out the door. “Bye. See you tomorrow.”
The next day at 3 you left your house, your bag full of pens, books and paper. You remembered the way to his house perfectly, and pulled up in front of it 10 minutes later. You chewed on your lip nervously whilst waiting for the door to swing open. You had thought the feeling would’ve gone away by now. But no way. The second you laid eyes on him when he opened up, you wanted him even more than yesterday. His hair looked freshly done but you wished you could mess it up. His lips were parted slightly as his gaze ran over your figure. You hadn’t worn anything special, just casual clothes. Yet he eyed you as if he never wanted to look at anyone else. When his look met yours, you looked away shyly.
“Come on in,” he said, completely relaxed. Without words you followed him to his room. The half which had the bed looked practically untouched. The other half, however, was a tornado-like chaos. Various pens sprawled across all surfaces and paper with messy notes covered every surface.
“Told you,” he grinned proudly. You lifted your eyebrows when he carefully stepped over the paper maze and grabbed a stack of them. Proudly, he handed it to you. You couldn’t believe your eyes. While he watched you, your eyes scanned the text quickly, making sure it made sense. You had known he was smart, but not this smart. Suddenly you wished you could do all of your projects with him.
“You did this by yourself? Last night?” you asked, still surprised. He chuckled.
“Indeed. It took me until three in the morning, but it’s done now,” he said. “Not a big deal.”
“Why didn’t you work that hard yesterday when I was over?” you asked.
“Honestly? I wanted you to stay over longer,” he admitted. His determination was definitely out of control.
“And now you asked me to meet again. If you were finished anyway you didn’t need me to come over,” you noticed. Then you remembered his words from last evening. He wanted his reward. You caught him licking his lips and your stomach flipped. Quickly, you looked over the text in your hands again.
“Is this how badly you want to get into my pants?” you joked, gesturing to the paper.
„Actually I think I just discovered my love for the history of the Medieval and Modern Africa,“ he explained matter-of-factly. You laughed out, and at the sound his eyes crinkled up too.
“Oh, of course, I’m sure of it,” you played along. “You know I could still say no now, and you’d have to accept it, right?”
He thought for a second.
„Sure, you could and I would. That sounds a lot like you’re saying yes, though,” he commented, smirking his famous, way too confident smile. He had never been more right and you knew it.
“Look. This one time, I’ll let you get away with it. But for the record, you can’t buy me with work. I’m only agreeing because I wa-” you started, holding up your finger. Suddenly, he walked over to you, grabbed your sides and attacked your mouth with his. You let out a surprised sound and stumbled backwards. You didn’t fall, though, because his grip on you was tight and after three chaotic steps your back hit the wall. There was no way for you to leave now, (not that you wanted to anyway) as his hands lay flat against the wall on your sides and he kissed you like his life depended on it.
He wasn’t doing anything particularly dominant, but the way he had you caged between the wall and his body and controlled the way you kissed him made your knees feel weak. Your previous boyfriend had made you feel good, but in a very sweet way. The boy that was all over you right now, however, seemed to not have the word vanilla in his vocabulary. You had no problem with him being rough. When you thought about it you let out a low whimper, to which he responded with a low growl.
“I’ve waited for so long, I thought I was gonna go insane,” he breathed against your lips as your chest heaved at the intensity of his kisses. You didn’t know how to speak anymore. Instead, you grabbed his neck and pulled him against you again. The way his tongue moved over yours made you wonder what else it could do to you. Involuntarily, your legs pressed together.
His hands were pulling your hair softly before moving downwards. Almost innocently they wandered over your chest, but you instantly arched your back, wanting more. They continued over your sides, holding you firmly by your hips. Then, they began lifting your top eagerly. You didn’t hesitate. It landed on the floor and meanwhile, he took off his own. You eyes barely had any time to admire his toned upper body, before they closed when his lips attacked your neck fiercely. His hands grabbed your ass and you moaned slightly. The way his lips played with your senses made you feel like melting underneath his teasing touch. They were rough and biting, and a second later soft and soothing. Your head leaned against the wall as he skillfully opened your bra, letting you toss it to the side carelessly. You whimpered at the sudden contact when his lips closed around one of your nipples, his hand playing with the other. His teeth grazed over your skin repeatedly, surely leaving purple marks. At least no one would see them there.
When he pressed his body against yours, you felt the bulge in his pants had grown. That didn’t take long, you thought proudly. On the other hand, you weren’t surprised. He was basically begging you to let him fuck you on a daily basis. You laughed quietly. While he was playing with the waistband of your pants, almost dragging them down, he reacted.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, confused but amused. You blushed, helping him to get rid off your pants, his following afterward.
“I was just thinking about how happy you must be now,” you explained, teasing him.
“I’m in heaven,” he didn’t hesitate to say. You were busy laughing as he took your arm and lead you to his comfortable looking bed. Turns out it didn’t just look the way. First, you admired his soft sheets, but then your focus diverted to him. To his mouth, to be exact. He kissed down your chest teasingly, but you felt how eager he was to get to your lower region. His hands stroking over your hips so tenderly were a massive contrast to his mouth. He licked and bit your skin until he reached the material of your underwear.
“You’re sure about this, right?” he asked. You wondered about his sudden hesitation.
“Of course I am,” you assured him, begging him to continue with your look.
“And you’ve done this before, right?” he asked. You were taken aback.
“What made you think I haven’t?” you asked, getting really impatient by the second.
“I just thought…, maybe you didn’t react to my pick up lines and jokes because you had never-” he explained. You laughed out. He looked puzzled.
“The problem wasn’t that I hadn’t had sex before, which I have, by the way. Your pick-up lines are just really, really bad,” you joked, grinning at him. He was playfully outraged.
“Okay, wait, you’ll love this one. Why do-,” he began, but was cut off by your voice.
“I am laying on your bed, half-naked and you’re trying to impress me with a pick-up line? You can do better than that,” you scolded him, chuckling. The tension between your legs became more unbearable with every passing second of him not touching you, and you couldn’t handle it.
“You’re right. I’ll show you how to be truly impressed, don’t worry,” he was back to being his cocky self. You were almost glad, because finally he pulled down your underwear. You lifted yourself up on your forearms, watching him as he breathed hot air against your wet center. Gently, his arms wrapped around your bent legs, laying on your lower stomach.
“Please, hurry,” you begged. He smirked, and you almost regretted saying it. Then you sucked in a breath when he licked a stripe over your folds, teasing you endlessly. He chuckled lowly when you let out a mix between a whimper and a groan, only leaving you more eager. His tongue was way too gentle on you. Forcingly, he pushed your legs apart further, giving him better access. When his tongue went over your clit, he suddenly stopped the game. While his finger nails dug into your stomach’s skin, he sucked on your clit, first hard, then softly and so on. He hadn’t been lying. Your throat left a breathy moan when he continued with licking, this time stronger than at first. As time went on, his muscle became faster and you felt yourself become weaker. You had to admit, he looked extra good laying between your thighs. You smiled in bliss, forgetting everything else around you.
“You’re so damn good at this,” you said, but the last part ended in a whimper when he payed extra attention to your sweet spot, making you see stars for a second.
“Told you,” he mumbled, barely pulling away. The vibrations his voice sent through you made you grip the bedsheets tightly. “If you would’ve only realized it sooner.”
He smirked up at you, not stopping his actions. Your stomach twisted in pleasure and anticipation. At this point, holding yourself up was no point anymore. You let your upper body fall backwards, the soft sheets catching you as you closed your eyes. You felt like you wanted to get even closer, although his face was basically buried between your legs. You squirmed under his grip when you felt yourself near your release.
“Stay still for me,” he ordered. There was only a little dominance in his voice, yet it made you want to behave. Even though you knew you couldn’t.
“But I’m so close,” you whimpered. He only took your words as a motivation. Faintly, you wondered how he had gotten so good with his mouth. His hands made you shiver even though they were gripping your body with roughness, keeping you in place. As you felt yourself get closer and closer to your release, your hands went to his hair. He slowed down for a second, but then he realized you didn’t want him to stop. The short break seemed to have left you even more sensitive. When he began sucking your sweet spot again, you almost couldn’t take it. His tongue leaped at your clit quickly. All you could do was close your eyes and attempt to control your moans. Within seconds you were coming, squirming underneath his touch while pulling his hair. Your back arched off the mattress and you moaned his name, no one else on your mind. He slowed down his actions and you shook slightly when he licked your over-sensitive clit one last time before pulling away.
For a few seconds you caught your breath, feeling his arms loosening their grip and his hands stroking over your skin soothingly. You stared at the ceiling for a while as your chest heaved, eyes blinking slowly. For some reason, you didn’t have enough of him yet. When you looked down, he was already staring up at you, grinning proudly at your expression. He gave you no signs of being eager, even though you were pretty sure he was. He was simply admiring you. It made you feel slightly weird.
“Are you not gonna take your pants off?” you asked. He laughed at your comment, shaking his head out of his focused state. Then, he got up and did just that. His boner was prominent and looked almost painful. He made a move towards the bed, almost as if he was going to climb on top of you. Then, he stopped in his tracks.
“Wait-” you began. Use protection, kids.
“Condom, I know,” he said, digging through his dressing table. When he finally scrambled onto the bed, he seemed to have lost all patience. Your hands went around his neck while he pumped his shaft a few times, squinting his eyebrows at the built up tension.
“Ready?” he asked you. You nodded before he had even finished the word. He entered you slowly, but wasted no time in picking up pace. At first, you whimpered at how he filled you up and how sensitive you were. Then, you got lost in the way he bit his lip and how his jaw flexed under his skin. His moans sounded like music to your ears. He was holding himself up on his arms while your legs bent a little, making him slam into you at a perfect angle. You cried out when he almost pulled out fully, only to thrust back into you until his hips met yours, his skin hot against yours. Your hands were playing with his soft hair by the nape of his neck, while he lowered his head a little. He wasn’t kissing you, but your lips were touching slightly, your unsteady breaths becoming one. He repeated your name a few times, as if praising you. His arms flexed under his weight, his veins standing out.
His member brushed over your sweet spot over and over, making you clench around him. He grunted at the sensation, only leading you to do it again. You loved seeing the way he shut his eyes tightly, concentrating on the pleasure. His thrusts were quick, but seemed less controlled than in the beginning, meaning he must have been close. Curses left his mouth, while you moaned softly. His motion became even quicker as he buried his head in the crook of your neck, lips hovering over your skin. His name slipped past your lips when he messily kissed you there, not slowing down his thrusts. When you clenched your walls around him again, he was sent over the edge.
He groaned, his arms giving out and he fell onto his forearms, basically laying on top of you now. His skin was hot and his breaths uncontrolled, face still in your neck. When he looked up at you he looked thoroughly content. You grinned tiredly. He pulled out carefully, making you whimper. For a few seconds you stayed that way, catching your breaths. It was quiet in the room, and you felt energetic and at the same time completely exhausted. Of course he was the first to speak.
“Don’t you wanna hear my pick-up line from earlier?” he asked. You almost smacked him. Then, you laughed.
“Okay, tell me,” you said, leaving him surprised. He was going to tell you anyway.
“People call me H/N, but you can call me tomorrow.”
2K notes · View notes
wereg0blin · 6 years
Note
for the ask meme? all of them u thot
For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes
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youngreckless · 3 years
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hi there, it’s the anon who asked for relationship advice (i couldn’t come up with any nickname so it’s up to you how you call me haha)!
so, first things first: i didn’t write to him BUT i plan to tomorrow. i wanted to thank you for your kind words. they were part of the reason why i decided to do it.
the thing about my avoidance of romantic relationship was that i had (have?) pretty low self esteem & i knew that it was not healthy for me to commit to someone beyond friendship. i went to therapy & tried out lots of different activities, found new hobbies and so on & i’m actually pretty proud of the progress i made. while i’m still sometimes spiraling as we could tell by the party situation, i can now shake it off more easily and there’s always a part of me that’s aware of the irrationality of these kinds of thoughts. for a long time i was longing for a romantic relationship, even though i knew i wasn’t ready for it. but the thing is that i wanted validation coming from being in a relationship and not the relationship itself. i was working on it for months if not years but only several weeks ago have i truly changed my mindset into “i don’t need anyone to validate me, i’m great the way i am” and i stopped viewing every man as a potential partner first, and a friend second. maybe that’s why i felt such connection with this guy - bc when i met him my mind didn’t automatically jump into “potential boyfriend material” & i wasn’t stressing abt it. well.
i think i kinda subconsciously decided that i’m gonna text him pretty quickly after the party but i needed time to process my feelings & get some courage - in which you among others helped. so thank you for that again.
i finally realised (ok, that’s a bad choice of a word… i mean, i was aware of it but i didn’t fully believe it, if that makes sense?) that if i get rejected it’s not personal and it doesn’t take away my worth. besides, we are in different social circles & the stage of our relationship is really early so rejection wouldn’t even affect my life too much. i only can gain something. and, like you said, i’m trying not to get my hopes up, and while it is a bit hard, i fully believe that i’ll be okay with “only” friendship too bc it is just as valuable as romantic connection. and even if it won’t work out or he won’t respond or sth, well, i tried. and hey, i’ve got a nice life already, one hypothetical relationship won’t change that. so… there’s no reason not to write, other than my dumb insecurities that have been proven to be wrong over and over again by so many people that i should be over them by now. i know it doesn’t work like that; it’s a journey, but a one that i’m willing to take and texting him is definitely a step in the right direction when it comes to my self-confidence. i like, maybe even love, myself most of the time, and hate only sometimes so… yay me?
sorry, i feel like i’m rambling. it’s just, i talked it over with some of my friends (and with myself ofc haha) but it feels good to write it down and sort it out kinda. lots of love!
ahhh hello sweetie! so good to hear from you again!! it makes me very happy to know that you felt my inbox was a safe enough place to write it all down in. 🥺💛 i always wanted my inbox to be a safe space!!
alright, first of all, i just want you to know how incredibly proud of you and your progress i am. like, SOOOOO proud. <3
all the best for it, love!! i'm glad i was able to help you, even a little bit. and it's okay to have self-esteem issues. and it's okay if you still have low days. remember that healing is never linear. <3
honestly, i don't have much to say. everything that you said, makes me very happy to hear that. you already know your worth doesn't depend on one relationship, or rejection. i'm so proud of you.
and yes, friendship is absolutely just as much valuable and important as a relationship. a romantic relationship isn't something more than friendship. it's not a hierarchy. and like you said, either way, you gain something!
anyway, i love you and i am veryyyy proud of you. <3 keep giving me updates bestie!!! 😘
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Today was... I dunno. Kinda okay but bad too.
I didn’t do much work during Swedish class ‘cause I finished a thing we got to work on last week and then during PE I legit just took a walk back to school (it took like 20-25 minutes or so).
I talked to JJ and EL at school and we laughed a lot and it was fun, then after having a meeting w EM I went and ate lunch w them.
During Japanese class I actually worked quite a lot and I got to go earlier bc of that. And theeeen my mood just kinda went to hell. I couldn’t concentrate that well during history class which was our last class and I was very close to crying a lot bc. Well. Going to school and home again takes between 3-5 hours (usually 3.5) every day and I’m kinda reaching this point where I can’t take it anymore. The thing though is that no matter what I do there it doesn’t help. I can’t stay at a friend’s place bc I have my meds at home and it’s also draining for me to sleep anywhere else than home, I’ll get super anxious if I stay home from school bc I won’t get things done and I’ll feel like I’m missing out and I’ll miss my friends and classmates and there’s no other way for me to get home than ride the train or take the bus which takes 3-5 hours out of my day. I mean, I know I probably just feel like this bc I’m gonna get my period soon and my anxiety is through the fucking roof whenever I’m about to get it but still. Idk what to do. There’s no way to solve it so there really isn’t much I /can/ do. At least I got some birth control yesterday that’ll most likely help w my raging period symptoms. Ugh.
Oh and another bad thing is that I’m starting to dislike AS. I don’t know why bc he hasn’t done anything wrong at all but. My mental health and brain in general is shit lmao.
Anyway, I’m thinking about staying home from school tomorrow (not that that’ll help lmao) but I’m not sure. Maybe. I texted JJ and told him to try and tell me abt what we’re gonna do in coding class tomorrow and I’ll probably email teachers and stuff so I don’t fall behind if I do stay at home tomorrow. I’ll probably do that so my mental health won’t go all the way to hell.
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assholemurphy · 5 years
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i need to write a 2pg (double spaced) paper over the ‘unitary executive’ being a myth argument, i’ve been assigned pro, which, bc the title isn’t v telling, i have no fucking idea which side i’m on. that means i have to read 10pgs and cite quotes from those pgs to back up my case and i just... don’t... want to.... bleh...
it’s so boring, so annoying, i’d rather debate abt the current presidency and how it’s gone to shit, but no, this class is abt debating technical aspects of the presidency, which is all well and good, i find it interesting, but like, not tonight. all i wanna do is write fic. that’s it. all i wanna do.
but my paper is due at 8a and technically (bc i’m sick) i need sleep today. esp considering i’ve got shop hours (unless i go to the nurse and get tested for the flu and it comes back positive, which i need to do, then i’m not allowed anywhere near theatre) from 1-3p, possibly til 5p, but probs just til 3 bc i don’t feel well. so i need sleep, and i’m tired, but i’m also restless and on edge and i just don’t feel okay at all. i’ve been trying to make myself do this assignment since 6:30p. it’s been 4 hours and i still can’t do it.
my adhd meds have worn off, if i even took them today?? i think i did, but i can’t remember. i need to drink some caffeine and get to work but i just don’t want to. at all. and ik even if i do it, i won’t go to sleep immediately bc i want to write.
so, i think i’m gonna try to write for a bit and see if i can get my shit together enough to write this stupid paper. it’s so fucking short, i wrote 2pgs single spaced in the span of 30 min last time (bc i wasn’t aware it was supposed to be double spaced cause she never told us) so it should be extremely easy, but it’s not. my brother is snoring and i can hear him thru the walls and it’s grating on my every nerve bc he’s been asleep ALL FUCKING DAY so all i’ve heard is him snoring and it’s incredibly annoying. and i can’t play music to write my paper bc that’s too distracting w/o my meds working (as is his fucking snoring, he needs a sleep study done so they’ll take out his tonsils, but he never calls the dr, tho he blames the dr for it not being done yet, even tho he never fucking calls) and i’m so fucking pissed.
i tried to go to class today but i left halfway thru my first one bc i felt like shit. i was shaking and had a fever and was sweating and my throat was on fire and just, ugh, i hate being sick. i rly fucking do. it’s not strep bc i saw the dr today and they tested me for it, but it might be the flu, apparently, bc one of my friends who was over here sunday night (we got drunk, it was great) has the flu, so it’s possible. i hope not, but like, if it’s not that, then there’s nothing that can be done for me bc it’s probs just a virus. but it sucks.
i just want to scream bc everything’s wrong and i feel like i’m gonna have a panic attack but i don’t know why. nothing is rly wrong, it’s just a bunch of little things, like this paper and me being sick and my self-imposed deadlines for a project i have that i’m behind on. i just rly don’t want to be alone rn but in the event that i’m sick, i don’t wanna get anyone sick. i’ve been incredibly out of sorts for the past several days and i don’t know why. it keeps getting worse. nothing is rly wrong, exactly, but i feel so fucked up for some unknown reason. ok, well, ik part of the reason and it worries me (it’s not something i can fix, tho). it’s frustrating. it’d be easier if i had all my meds (i’m getting them tomorrow, tho, hopefully, if my psych has called them in, if not, i’m switching psychs bc i’m done with this ‘we never got the paperwork’ bullshit when i don’t have this problem with any other dr, this isn’t even the first time it’s happened. i’m tired of this bullshit).
i just need a shower and caffeine and maybe a friend. if one is available. probs not, tho. but i’m gonna shower first. then see if i actually want to text anyone. but i need a shower before anything else. hot water will do me good. then some caffeine. then to write. then to do this fucking paper.
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