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softrozene · 3 years

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Thank you for reblogging that "on anon hate" piece. 🥺 It's something I'm scared of and I know that's silly 😅 and uh can you share how you get over anon hate? I could use any advice and thanks if you answer I hope your back feels better!!!!!!

Warnings: Dealing with anon hate and slight mention of mental illness/su*cide.

Of course, Hon, and thank you! It also is not silly at all! I used to have that fear on my old blog, and it did end up happening (as it does time from time here) so I can give you tips and whatnot.

First, let me address the problem that I have been seeing while I have been lurking. These past few days I have noticed an increase in anon hate or anon asks that try to pass off being good, but you can tell they are just condescending. It hurts to see that especially in the One Piece fandom where I have seen nothing but support aside from the occasional anon that gets unruly- But when that happens we all come together to defend that writer. That is what a good fandom is.

So, these few bad anons are trying to stir something up and it does work unfortunately and that is something I can’t stand. Especially when they go to blogs and harassing the writer in THAT writer’s safe space. Like hot damn, they are shitty people to do that.

These Past Few Days:

Of course, in one of the instances, I saw these past few days one of the “bad anon” was purely miscommunication and they apologized to that writer since. The other bad anon to a different writer was purely a total jerk since they were able to successfully hurt the writer mentally.

The anon function is meant for a lot of good things such as shy people, people wanting to give constructive criticism, those who do not want their blogs to be known by many people, people who get overwhelmed, people who want to spread love without it being a big deal (even though it is. Your hearts are big for that and everyone loves you for that pure intention).

The anon function is not meant for hate- That is abusing the anon function.

I, personally, use the anon function for my mutuals when I get anxiety when requesting something or just wanting to tell them how much they mean to me- When people use the anon function for that, such as their anxiety/they are just shy and whatnot I see them as hella brave for doing so. In this case, you are brave <3

HOWEVER- When people decide to use the anon function to send hate: That is literally the lowest thing you can do in not only my eyes but other people. You are sending hate knowing that it may not trace back to you. So, congrats if you do this- You are a coward.

As for whatever reason, someone wants to send hate, in the cases, I saw recently it was because the writers were wanting to open up to more fandoms. Fuck those anons who made the writers change their minds. It is not the anon’s blog- It is the writer’s. They are allowed to do whatever the hell they want without anyone’s permission. It is their safe space.

If you as an anon- Feel so obligated to send a writer or any other person your opinion on their blog saying you do not like something they wrote, you don’t care for this or that, or in your eyes, they are taking too long on your request, and you spam them with hurtful words ON THEIR BLOG, NOT YOURS- I really hope you can find peace one day because that ain’t it chief.

How fucking dare you try to hurt someone in their own safe space.

Those who have sent hate:

I genuinely hope you find a better thing to do with your life. I hope your words do not affect the person they reached. I have not a clue why anyone sends hate and it still bothers me today that they do but if you have any bit of empathy think of not just the person who you send hate to but the people that love them.

You could be the last thing that makes them go over a dark edge.

You have no idea what the person you send hate to is going through.

That person you sent hate to can have mental illnesses that makes them think whatever you say is true and seriously you are the biggest asshole on the planet if you wanted that to happen.

That person can be suicidal. (Of course, to some jerks who believe others will not act because of something on the internet, they have things outside in their real lives that make them feel that way. Your words can just be a breaking point.)

They could be clinging onto a shred of a will to live- Do not be that jerk that ruins it. Karma does bite back.

Words do hurt others and no matter how silly you may think it is- Words do have an impact.

Let me say that again because there are jerks who don’t believe that: You may think it is silly, but words do have an impact.

Now for the question, this lovely anon asked- How do you deal with anon hate?

Anon hate is going to happen, unfortunately- Especially to those who do not deserve it at all, and I despise that so much.

Personally, for me, it honestly still bothers me from time to time, but I have grown to get past it with multiple methods, so I hope these help.

Report and block them.

This is the top recommendation that I suggest. I have been sticking to this one without mercy for this blog and it has worked wonders. Anons who send hate are trying to get a reaction out of you so the easiest thing to get them to knock it off and move on with their lives is to report them for harassing you and blocking them. You can block anon asks by the three dots (I believe it’s been a while lol).

Bad anons thrive on attention. Just do not give a reaction and they will stop eventually.

Laugh it off

My actual first anon hate on this blog made me laugh so hard because they told me to off myself, but they misspelled it terribly. Yeah, it stung but it was more funny than hurtful to me. So if their message are hurtful remember that these people are abusing the anon function- A cowardly act and that makes it even funnier since they don’t want to deal with any consequences based on their behavior. In other words: They are childish.

If they are relentless then that usually means they are obsessed with you which is not healthy. (Lowkey recommend they see a therapist.)

Just call them out on having a crush on you and if they continue to harass you- Most likely denying it as hateful anons do, then you can safely say that yes, they have a crush on you (I used to do this on an old blog and when I tell ya it gets them mad lol)- This method works to just laughing it off so eventually you can grow to ignore them.

If you absolutely have to answer it- Tag your friends/mutuals or make sure they can see it so they can defend you. They are your support system

In this fandom- I always see so much support when it comes to getting hate so I know that it will happen. I can’t vouch for other fandoms/places of tumblr though.

Take the option to be on anon on your blog away- They go quiet really fast

Seriously- If it is bothering you please just take the anon function away until you feel comfortable enough to allow anons back on. You may feel sad for the good anons but they will understand why you did so. After this, please seek your support system if you need to vent about that bad anon.

My favorite other option that you can do while mixing it with these other options is to continue being you out of spite. Show them that no one can change you.

For my fellow sensitive people: Our subconscious minds think everything is true. It will hear or see one thing and it has no filter so it will go: Oh yeah- That is 100% correct- Even whatever you just read from the anon. For those who get hurt by anon hate and have a mental illness like me- I also suggest trying to rewire your brain with positive affirmations so it will be easier to realize that whatever the anon says is not true at all. It may take a while or may not be for everyone but it can help.

Overall?

It sucks but the best thing to do is to ignore, block, and continue on with your day spreading love and knowing you are a good person compared to them.

Maybe one day they can learn to love themselves and stop hating others (if the bad anon claim they do love themselves and can continue to be that way that just means they are extremely toxic and narcissistic and definitely will not switch their away around any time soon) but in the meantime be the bigger person than them (or have badass friends who don’t care and will fight to the death for you- For legal reasons that is a joke).

You have many options but just know that anon hate does not set your whole mood. That they may get off on sending hate but that is what their whole hobby is. While yours can be sending love- Your whole world does not consist of being on tumblr. It may be a safe space for you but remember you can also start anew if you need to. Do not let some silly hateful anon ruin your mood or make you afraid to go online. Do not give them that power.

Now on a much happier ending note, remember that these bad anons do not care about you if they are sending hate. However, there are people who go out of their way to tell you that they adore your content/your blog. They care and I think it is beautiful that they show it and come together to help others when needed.

This turned into an essay oops (1712 words yo)- Anyway, I hope that this helps you anon and I hope that it helps anyone else who may come across it. No matter what just remember you are loved.

#rozereplies #important #I hope this helps!

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janiedean · 3 years

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i find it funny that all the arguments against sansan or sanrion is about the age gap being problematic and then people ship her with jaime who's OLDER THAN TYRION and i think also older than sandor OR they'll ship her with jon who she grew up considering a brother and is actually a cousin making it incestuous. oh and when the books start theon is like 18-19 years old while sansa is like 11 i think? but yes, tell me more about why your sansa ships are superior to sansan or sanrion LOL. oh also let's not forget the ~pure~ ship of sansaery where margaery basically pretends to be friends with sansa and acts nice for her own advantage which is easy to do since she's lonely in king's landing but drops her th emoment it gets convenient, not to mention pretty much framing her from joff's murder which like sure, sansa escaped cuz LF had it planned but if not she would've been killed then :) a very healthy dynamic indeed. they really don't want to admit that they only care to ship sansa with canonically hot guys and their real problem with sansan and sanrion is both sandor and tyrion are supposed to be ugly and physically quite the opposite of the prince charming she's looking for (but they are more prince-like in character) and ignore that her whole arc is learning to look beyond appearances and names and superficial stories.

I mean other than confirming you that jaime's older than sandor bc jaime has seven years on tyrion who's three-four years younger than sandor and sandor's like 29 in agot... he's older than both of them and I'd like to add willas tyrell to the list of people that are seen as better options.... and he's also older than both sandor and tyrion, I... can't disagree with anything here because like we don't even wanna touch my beef with sans*ery but it's for the same reasons as you said and at the end of it I also can't disagree with the last paragraph because that's... like... the point of the narrative like sansa is obv ending up with someone who doesn't look hot for standards but is actually good on the inside which both of them fit the standard for, and again while I think sandor's it for obv reasons if sanrion was endgame I wouldn't be complaining (ngl I was hoping lowkey for them to get the show bc it was obvious sansan wasn't gonna be a show thing so might as well have a 50/50 split even though I guess having the show wouldn't have been that great in retrospective BUT ANYWAY) yeah what you said about the whole arc and again like... sansa/jaime is top five most hated ships for me too bc it's doubly ignoring that sansa and jaime have LI that aren't standard attractive so I'm not even touching that but yeah like

sorry but when it comes to problematic ships again there is literally nothing in asoiaf that's not somehow problematic - again the most wholesome thing in there is sam/gilly and I reiterate gilly has a baby because her father raped her and her own mother was the same so................. like no one has any leg to stand on when it comes to MY SHIP IS WHOLESOME bc no ship in here is 100% wholesome or has characters who are themselves 100% wholesome so the fixation about how these two ships are specifically bad is suspicious like really really sus

also I'd like again to point out for the umpteenth time that while there are things that I really don't vibe with (and in this fandom esp I can't do incest ships) I don't go around judging ppl for being into unhealthy dynamics or being like EW IT'S INCEST BAD because honestly I have better to do with my life, but my problem is people going like AH MY SHIP IS MORALLY BETTER THAN YOURS when it's a badwrong/ish dynamic and trying to sanitize it - like own up to it no one is gonna judge in this damned fandom and if they do good luck being coherent and don't go at other people like 'ah yeah mine is better than yours because it's so much more wholesome' X°D

also like... again there's limits and limits - I can absolutely get why someone would not like sansan or sanrion because they do have problematic elements like if someone reads blackwater and feels uncomfortable ofc I'm not gonna tell them WELL YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, if they blacklist sansan and they don't come at me telling me I'm a pervert then all good? but like to do the comparison I can't get over how in the show sansa told theon she'd do to him what ramsay did all over again after he didn't help her when she didn't even tell him WELL WE SHOULD RUN AWAY TOGETHER just help me run away because for me that is like... I can't ship it when the show narrative never asked sansa to be accountable, I won't ever go to a the*nsa shipper telling them EW HOW CAN YOU LIKE IT WHEN THAT IS A THING because... the way I can like sansan with its problematic elements or secondarily like sanrion with its problematic elements (nvm that the superior tyrion ship is tyrion/bronn anyway) they can like th*onsa with its problematic elements? but just don't go around harping at ppl because everyone has their limit to something and it can be glaringly obvious or not (I mean if I tell you that th*ramsay isnt my cup of tea anyone could understand why seeing the background, or idk for me brienne/hyle hunt is a way bigger nope than brienne/tormund ever could have been but a lot of ppl in jb fandom feel the contrary which is absolutely fine again I can't stand the idea of b. with someone who bet on taking her virginity because of personal reasons even if he realized he was wrong but for others the way they wrote brienne/tormund in the show was uncomfortable to that degree and so on) and as long as you behave like an adult... then who cares what you ship

meanwhile instead there's the... fixation on those two esp within the context you mentioned and honestly I'm kinda tired of the 'gross old dudes' rhetoric thrown at them when neither of them is old or gross and they both are abuse victims with trauma never mind the ableism in spades (that one more glaringly at tyrion for obvious reasons and on tumblr I wish it wasn't like......... 80% of the general fandom but people dismissing sandor's shitty coping methods as HE'S A VIOLENT DRUNK when like..... he's the only one who's actually not violent with her sansa and he has thirty years' worth of ptsd on him are also a peach) like... can you please realize the implications of what you're saying please and thank you

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jenhedgehog · 7 years

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I honestly don't understand why they're calling Zuke a terrible writer? They've written major parts of the Peridemption arc which are clever, funny and made Peridot super likable. Not to mention Steven vs Amethyst and LOOoBC, which is one of the greatest SU episodes imo. Lapis and Peridot's relationship doesn't feel forced at all, it flowed naturally from enemies to friends to besties and potential lovers. Yeah it had less onscreen hints than Amethyst and Peridot's growing friendship (1/2)

during Peridemption, but that's where the Twitter account comes in, y'know? Nor is it fanservice. Zuke became storyboard revisionist in early April 2014, before Lapis or Peridot even debuted. That argument just not logical. Sugar has said that by the time 'Warp Tour' premiered they've finished writing Peridot's entire arc, which Lapis was intended to be part of since the beginning I'm sure. Plus episodes are pitched 1.5 years and boarded 1 year in advance. The argument's just not logical.

Yes, thank you!!

I mean, if people think Lauren’s a “terrible writer” then that’s just their opinion and they’re perfectly entited to that (so long as they’re expressing it in a constructive way and not a hateful way, of couse) - but I, like yourself, strongly disagree.

I’d also like to add that there have been less on-screen Peridot and Lapis moments for one reason and one reason alone - Steven doesn’t see what they get up to on a daily basis, so therefore we don’t see it either. When Peridot was living temporarily with the Crystal Gems, she was obviously living with Steven, hence why we saw so much of her interactions with the other Gems (including Amethyst). Had Lauren not had to leave Twitter, we might have actually had a few more Peridot/Lapis gaps filled-in by their brilliant Peridot Twitter account like you mentioned.

Also, I personally prefer quality of interactions over quantity of interactions~

This whole “fanservice” argument is utter bollocks, to put it bluntly. As you very rightly said, the episodes are planned waaay too far in advance for it to possibly be fanservice. Just because some of us (including me) saw Lapidot as a viable ship since before the characters even interacted, that doesn’t mean the show has now somehow been warped to fit in with what we wanted to happen - it just means that we either made an extremely lucky guess, or we somehow chanelled Garnet’s future-vision ;)

The fact that people are refusing to look at this logically is somewhat frustrating to me (quite like Peridot herself, I value logical reasoning incredibly highly), but hey - that’s fandoms for you! Some people are too stubborn to simply say “you know what, I’m not really a fan of this ship, I think I’ll ship these two characters instead regardless of what the show’s canon may eventually me, because any ship is valid if it makes you happy :D”, when they could actually say “its fanfic writing!!!! shitty fanservice!!!!!! this ship is horrible compared to MY ship i hate you go and kill yourself waaaaaaaaah”. Constructive criticism should absolutely always be encouraged - but raging, hateful criticism and actual harassment should not.

Some people would do well to remember that this is a cartoon we’re talking about - one which has tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness, love, friendship, and being good to each other as its key themes.

#asks #su discourse #Anonymous

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