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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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jenny slate / two, sleeping at last / an oresteia, euripidies (trans. anne carson) / the chaos of stars, kiersten white
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teatreelight · 4 years
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“I want to be wanted by someone who wants me even after they’ve stopped needing me.”
— John Maurer (via quotemadness)
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teatreelight · 4 years
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each season is a different flavor of lonesome
summer: bleary heat hazes leave my mind fuzzy and unkempt like a messy floor. i dont function well in high temperatures, and im forced to do nothing but contemplate. all the blooming bright nature makes me feel love but emptier than spring, because its all in its full glory, and i am not. happiness in the summer is brightened by the sun and so loud. happy summers feel so strong that its like a dream. everything in summer is burning no matter the emotion and it really fucks with me. everything is so hungry and so am i yet it is all devouring and flourishing and im eating my own arm.
fall: i like fall. i like the colors and i like that the trees are getting ready to sleep so i often feel more relaxed in the fall. i like the playfulness that comes with the morose and i like that it is hot enough for flesh to rot but cold enough for it not to smell. the fall feels like new beginnings and i appreciate it. but it also feels dreadful as i know my birthday draws near and another year goes all grey. fall is like, a tense relaxation? a goodnights sleep but you wake up with dread.
winter: winter is my favorite season. despite being anemic i love the cold. im cold in any weather so may as well enjoy the cold. everything being asleep allows for a quieter time within me. its still lonesome. but its a quiet lonesome. everything else is lonesome too and theres a kinship in that. happy winters are for quiet existence together and not a thing i treasure more, though ive never had a happy winter. also fires in the room to sit around. the outside being inaccessible is better than the outside being there and i know im just too sad and trapped to explore it.
spring: i want sex and intimacy and i need restraint. everything is budding and i never want to love more fiercely than i do in the spring, so its less of the ache of summer and more the longing. i realize those two go hand in hand but different aspects get louder at different times. all the nature starting again makes ME want to start and i know i can't so there's a longing louder than anything else and i love all the youth. restless. spring is like the morning. i want way too much for a day to ever provide.
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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you had me chasing you, the world’s worst lover, over and over
I’m Over the Moon by Brenda Shaughnessy
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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teatreelight · 4 years
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