the-literary-nomad

[the-literary-nomad]

Today a man who knew I had a master's degree in English (I mean, that's pretty much why he hired me), who regularly uses the opportunity to remind me I didn't get the job I wanted (i.e to be a teacher), who teases me with potential teacher openings that he never plans to give me—opened his *insert colourful expletives* mouth and said—"There's this one question on the English exam which could cause confusion for the students. We need you (the man never ceases to bullshit how important I am to the company) to read the question as a grade 10 'student' to see if they will understand it."

You know what I want to say? "Sure. As a master's degree holder in English—who has a background involving linguistics and literature...I think this question is completely understandable. But you've been around more than I have, you probably know what a 10th grader thinks like, what do you think?

Oh wait, I forgot you stopped aging after the fifth grade. Nevermind."

And then I'll go on to explain why a tenth grader in my experience might find it confusing or not.

****

Should I do a whole series on how this middle-aged man tries my very sanity?

#I've descended into chaos #i think about quitting every day #the problem is i just need money atm #i want fo slap this man into the next century #who made this fellow principal

[the-literary-nomad]

the ache of nostalgia

[the-literary-nomad]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

well that happened.

BUT HOW?

which witch cursed my account?

#pleasenotifythecouncil

#1 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

[the-literary-nomad]

me learning Korean with kdrama but also Italian with Vincenzo and Joey

Thinking about how when my oldest brother took Japanese classes his professor was like your pronunciation is really good 😊 but you need to watch movies that aren't about the Yakuza because you sound like a criminal

[the-literary-nomad]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[the-literary-nomad]

What You Missed That Day You Were Absent from Fourth Grade

by Brad Aaron Modlin

Mrs. Nelson explained how to stand still and listen to the wind, how to find meaning in pumping gas,

how peeling potatoes can be a form of prayer. She took questions on how not to feel lost in the dark

After lunch she distributed worksheets that covered ways to remember your grandfather’s

voice. Then the class discussed falling asleep without feeling you had forgotten to do something else—

something important—and how to believe the house you wake in is your home. This prompted

Mrs. Nelson to draw a chalkboard diagram detailing how to chant the Psalms during cigarette breaks,

and how not to squirm for sound when your own thoughts are all you hear; also, that you have enough.

The English lesson was that I am is a complete sentence.

And just before the afternoon bell, she made the math equation look easy. The one that proves that hundreds of questions,

and feeling cold, and all those nights spent looking for whatever it was you lost, and one person

add up to something.

[the-literary-nomad]

I spent most of this month attempting to lose weight. I managed a little bit, but it really doesn't show.

Yesterday some aunty decides to say, "Is it your dress dear or have you gained weight?" And I looked at her blankly, to which she replied, "you know because you look fat." Or something like that. I stopped listening at some point during the conversation. My expression remained the same but I could feel air rushing through my ears. And my throat closed up once or twice.

Then I just gave her a lazy smile and said, "I've gained weight, aunty." Because why should I care what she thinks?

But I spent then next morning crying and cleaning at the same time which really didn't help my anger. My friends had heard and tried to tell me otherwise but ofcourse why would I believe them, they were just trying to make me feel better.

Words hurt. God, they can hurt. They can utterly destroy months and years of self love, or learning to except your for who you are. Maybe the aunty didn't mean it in the way I took it, definitely. Perhaps she was just concerned about my health or knew I was trying to lose weight. Or maybe I had offended her with something I said earlier and this was her way of taking revenge.

But you see how it can hurt, don't you? And I know better. I know I should just take such things in one ear and out the other. But it's so hard. I hate socializing for this reason. Because every time I speak to someone my brain tries to format my entire soul to suit the conversation. I hate it.

I want to be cool and aloof. Or even crazy and uncaring of what people think. Anything. Anything that would make my skin tougher than leather.

My progress is not something that others need to know about. Whether I'm going to lose weight or am losing weight or decide to gain weight. It's not anyone's damn business but my own. Especially someone who has not seen just how difficult it is for me to lose it all. Especially someone who hasn't seen what I've gone through. Someone who has not lived my life.

I feel a bit better after this rant alhamdulillah. But still. This is a sucky feeling.

#fatphobia #these words have caused multiple stab wounds #writers #words #writers on tumblr #hurtful #depressing shit

[the-literary-nomad]

"are you jealous?"

"no"

"you ARE jealous. WAIT why are you jealous?"

I'm crying, best trope

Oblivious Enemies to Lovers Prompts

Dialogue for that one couple who has this attraction between them, but who would do anything to not admit it by acting like they can't stand each other.

"You're so annoying!" "Well, you're still here."

"I don't like you!" "Finally something we can agree on."

"Wow, you're actually nice to me for once." "I won't make a habit out of it."

"I'm always happy to be your punching bag." "Urgh, that sounded so cheesy."

"I definitely don't like you. I just love to hate you."

"Are you jealous?" "No, I'm not!" "Oh, you really are jealous! Wait, why would you be jealous?"

"I would definitely not miss your stupid face."

"I'm going on a blind date." "In hopes of them actually being blind?"

"It's not like you like me or anything." "Yeah, definitely not."

"Can you imagine us being together?" "Pfft, nightmare material."

"I would never date someone like you." "And I would never date someone like you."

"Just because I like torturing you, doesn't mean I like spending time with you."

"I will not ever say this again, but... you're my favourite enemy."

"I really dislike you." "Oh, so you don't hate me anymore?"

"Even if we were the last two people on earth I would never go even near you." "I would die happily as the last single person on earth."

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[the-literary-nomad]

I'm having a watched pot never boils moment. It's been two weeks though and I barely see bubbles

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“In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain the old pain.”

— Mary Manin Morrissey

[the-literary-nomad]

“you should be at the club” i should be by the sea. i should be in the mountains. i should be awestruck and rendered speechless by the majesty of the natural world. if you even care

[the-literary-nomad]

[the-literary-nomad]

tried something... was fun, might delete later

- I don't own the first image.

#writers on tumblr #words #writers #writing inspiration #author aesthetic #literature #books

[the-literary-nomad]

I really don't understand opposites attract? How can you be attracted to something entirely opposite to who you are? I mean, in theory it's understandable. He would be something out of your routine, his neatness would be attractive because it's so unlike your mess, his outgoing nature would be attractive because wow you could never.

Even when I explain it I don't find it convincing lol😂. The execution is terribly odd. I cannot imagine falling for someone who is exactly the opposite of me. What do we even talk about??

I mean, unless he's really attractive and all you think about is intimacy. But that's not the only point of relationship (I'm looking at you, romance novels). In books it seems lovely and toe curling when two opposing forces are thrown together.

But in real life? Not so much. Maybe it's because living it is so much more different. You're blind to the ending.

#opposites attract #writers on tumblr #words #writing inspiration #writers #real life