vengefulcooking

[vengefulcooking]

A while back, I remember seeing a post complaining about "lazy" recipes that that start with choppingvan onion. Anyway, I just saw a video of Gordon Ramsey showing the correct way to chop an onion, and so it turns out that I have been doing it wrong my entire life. The correct way is so much easier. Mind fucking blown.

#hello?? Saving this for reference #onions #how to #how to chop #dicing an onion #chopping an onion #cooking tips #Gordon Ramsey

[vengefulcooking]

Last night in my old house, finishing some stuff so I'm using up ingredients. Made some lovely pancakes with ice cream, blueberries, cinnamon and butter. Yum!

Oozing and fluffy :) I'm pleased with that. Though I don't know why it refused to brown

#vengeful cooking #Pancakes #Fodd #Fodd blogging #Wish me luck!

[vengefulcooking]

Made a sweet n sour curry variation— it was meant to be a pineapple chicken, but I had a few missing ingredients (namely uh the chicken) and so I played around with it a bit.

No chicken to coat and cook, so instead I threw in boiled potatoes and sweet potato. I'm really becoming the boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew potion concocter, eh! But I'm moving next week, so this was less of a 'let's go get ingredients!' thing, and more of a chance to use up what's in the fridge so I have to carry and move less stuff.

So we made the sauce as is:

Base:

Sauté chopped onions: heat them in oil on low heat until they're a bit soft

Add spices to it: garlic powder, whatever else your heart fancies in small doses: I used some cinnamon powder and some cayenne. Your salts and peppers.

The sweet n sour bit of the sauce:

Pineapple juice (loads), brown (or w/e) sugar, vinegar, soy sauce (all in equal quantities) and some flour (about half of the sugar, etc.). Technically, the recipe called for cornflour, but if you give it a good five minutes to cook properly, flour is okay.

I also used some of the sweet potato boiling water because it's also kinda sweet and I didn't have as much pineapple. Chicken broth would also do, but like I said. No chicken in my fridge rn.

Keep whisking as you add each bit in so you get an actual sauce without lumps of flour/sugar or stuff settling in layers.

Pro tip: if the flour is the last thing you add, you can taste the proportions as you add stuff. Too sweet? Add more soy. Too much vinegar? More of everything, sorry, you're fucked

Cooking:

Into the base of sautéd onions, add the boiled (and cut, because I'm not a heathen) vegetables: for me it was potatoes and sweet potatoes, but I also had some frozen veg so that went in. Bell peppers n stuff is lovely with this. My pot's (potatoes; this did not look like I thought it would in my head) were soft enough from boiling so honestly I sort of ended up just coating them.

Then add in the sauce, keep stirring, add more broth of choice if you like. If you've got too much pineapple sweetness, then actually do add non-sweet broth. How much is really you vibing it and sizing up your onions: the minute you've got too much water and not enough onion, you will taste the water; the unfortunate truth of cooking is that water is cool, but water is not food. If you want more quantity of food, you uh, need more quantity of food (this was for me, I am bad at proportions).

If you'd like a thicker, more jam-like texture, then firstly the stickiness of pineapple juice from a pineapple helps with that (I got one of those pre-cut ones from the grocer's, they tend to release juice over time). Secondly, go for less liquid, but also remember to account for the fact that some will evaporate because you're cooking.

Sorry if you're smarter than this; if you check the premises of this blog (pinned post) this is basically cooking for dummies. For idiots. For vengeful, low-skilled bastards that want to make something so good, it makes everyone in their life who has doubted their cooking re-think their whole life so far. Such idiots are often so focused on the revenge part of this dish that we forget little details. Like. Water boils when you heat it and then there's less water.

I ended up also adding a finishing sweet and sour (possibly Thai; I can't remember bc it is 2 am) sauce I was enticed to buy at the grocer's even though it was 10 days before I move house. How we all fall. So anyway, I must use the sauce, and in lieu of just coating cooked chicken/shrimp/other meat or veg, I just kinda threw it into the sauce.

Again, this is all optional because it's cupboard-emptying stuff, but I threw in some flax seeds on top, and honestly, when serving, I have also enjoyed it with a dollop of mayonnaise and a small cut of a cheddar cheese slice, but I don't really think using mayo in everyday cooking is a great idea? But also, I had soft-boiled eggs, which also did a fantastic and really fancy-looking job of drizzling into the stew at the very end ('plating', if I may be so bold (<- sucks at plating)). That's vengeful cooking, baby!

And of course, me being me, I finished it with rice. My whole existence is stews for rices. I bought a 3 kg pack of rice because it was 1) long grain (my mum nods in approval) and on discount. But. 10 DAYS BEFORE I MOVE. So yeah, rice bonanza. I am having so much rice. Living a real regal life out here.

And that's the dish! Revenge may be best served cold but please for the love of god have this while it's still hot and mmm so yummy.

Pics tomorrow maybe (though it'll be of a reheat) because it was mmm so yummy that I never took a picture.

(Quick rice tip: water : rice 2:1, + maybe a quarter glass of water extra to keep it from burning if anything fucks up, 18 mins on the timer, start at high heat, when you hear the boiling, turn it down to medium (that's like a 5 on a numbered stove, think 6 o'clock) and then just taste and monitor when you've got around 4 mins left. People say rice is hard, please, rice loves you and it's very easy give it a chance.)

Update:

With some sesame sprinkled because why not. Extra flavour. Lovely eh?

#cooking #vengeful cooking #food #recipes #sort of #sweet n sour #stew #stew <3 #rice

[vengefulcooking]

I'll be honest lads, I reblog a ton of stuff onto here tagging it #recipes as if I'm going to actually cook it... I do intend to, but I just end up looking at recipes I'd previously saved onto my kindle. That's how it is. There was a point when my 'reading stats' on the kindle were basically just recipes from dinner time cooking after coming home from my internship, it was quite funny. But I did make a bit of a recipe variation today so I might post that here

#not vengefully cooking #but I did earlier #and my housemates said it smelled really good— because it was a sweet n sour! That's a strong smeller if there ever was one

[vengefulcooking]

spicy coconut noodle soup with mushrooms, broccoli and crispy tofu · good eatings

#recipes #coconut #gravies #soups #noodles #noodle soups #lunches #dinners

[vengefulcooking]

CAJUN CHICKEN IN CREAMY SAUCE

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

#recipes #chicken #I'm not big on heavy cream but either with a substitute of just milk/ #milk + butter/ roux I'd like to try it #or cave in and just get a small tetrapack of cream I guess #dinners #lunches

[vengefulcooking]

best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

#recipes #desserts #brownies

[vengefulcooking]

bread so tasty. bread so nice. toast it once. toast it twice.

[vengefulcooking]

i think rice with things on it & also some sort of sauce is like basically the best food genre tbh

[vengefulcooking]

kill the shift manager in your brain

#recipes #sandwiches #grilled cheese #cheese #innkeeper's sandwich #also boosting poor OP

[vengefulcooking]

#recipes #chicken #gravy #tomatoes

[vengefulcooking]

what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”

[vengefulcooking]

the problem with being in your twenties is if you say “this summer I want to get freaky with mushrooms again”, absolutely no one is going to believe that you want to make a mushroom and cream stew

#I mean LOOK at the URL! #Smh #not vengefully cooking #not until the summer— I’m not buying more stuff bc I have to move; this month is all finisher recipes #Food

[vengefulcooking]

Got the lovely runny soft-boiled eggs today, hell yeah!! Got a nice picture of it too, proud of it

That’s my sandwich! Toast, melted cheese slice, grilled tomato, onion, boiled potato. And the runny egg!!

#vengeful cooking #food #Eggs #toast #Runny eggs

[vengefulcooking]

[vengefulcooking]

For those who have overactive guilt complexes like me…

[vengefulcooking]

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”