weirdfella - Tumblr blog

weirdfella · 3 years

Text

Get Sorted

I. THE MBTI-SORTED VIDEO CHALLENGE

What I need from you:

Record a 10-min. video; don’t worry if it’s not exact, but try to be within a minute or two. Answer as many or as few questions from the list below (Section B) as you’d like, plus the three at the bottom (Section C). Don’t over-edit the video! I really want all your weird long pauses, and your rambling. If you make a 20-min. video and need to cut out some questions to make it back to 10, that is acceptable.

Upload your video to a platform like YouTube, or Google Drive, and send me the direct link using this Google Form. Either a public or unlisted video is fine, whatever you’re comfortable with doing. If you want to make it easier to find, you can tag your video under #get sorted.

Make sure you are well lit from the front, not the back so I can see your face. Don’t sit too close to the screen, so more of your body language can be seen.

If you’d like, you can use an interviewer or camera operator, so you are interacting with another person. Make sure to face the camera wherever possible, though. If they want to answer questions, too, they must submit their own video (this is an interview, not a conversation!).

You must be 18 years of age or older to participate.

Please submit your videos by February 28th, 2021. This is an experiment and I have no idea how many videos will be submitted, so I appreciate your patience!

What You Get: I will try and type you! I might not be able to, but I can probably narrow it down.

II. Video Content

A. INTRODUCE YOURSELF: What is your (first/screen) name? MBTI results will be shared via a post on mbti_sorted, so please make sure you only share information that you are comfortable with being used publicly on Tumblr. You can also introduce your interviewer or camera person.

B. PICK SOME QUESTIONS TO ANSWER (for approx. 9-minutes 30 seconds):

Tell us about a teacher or a coach who left a big impression on you.

What was your favourite subject in school and did you pursue it as a career?

Do you have any athletic injuries and how did you get them?

Do you believe in any supernatural phenomena?

Tell us about a recurring conflict with a family member.

What character do you identify with the most and why?

How many languages do you speak? Is English your first language? If it isn’t, answer a question in your native language (please summarize it after in English!).

What advice would you give to your younger self and what would they think of where you are now? Would you warn them about anything?

Do you people-gather? (If you’re unsure, ask others in your group(s) if they’re there because of you.) How many groups do you belong to, and what do you think of this?

Are you passionate about your career? Tell us about it.

Which holiday brings you the least joy?

Are you a heartbreaker or a heartbreak-ee?

What is your dream car? Or if you aren’t into cars, what piece of technology do you dream of owning?

Would you rather make a lot of money at a job you hate or do a job you love that keeps you below the poverty line?

Do you collect anything?

Have you ever had any alternative career paths/life gameplans? Do you wish you had taken another path in retrospect?

Do you have a good sense of direction? How do you navigate (when you can’t rely on GPS)? Do you navigate new places/buildings the same way you navigate your home town/familiar buildings? Is your sense of time better or worse than your sense of direction?

Credit to Temple Grandin for this question: if I tell you to think of a church steeple, what’s happening inside your head?

Would you be unable or unwilling to answer any of these questions? Which?

C. ANSWER THESE THREE QUESTIONS (30 seconds):

How much preparation did you do before making this video? If you have an interviewer, did you pick the questions or did they? Who decided to do it that way?

What type do you think you are?

In 1-3 adjectives, describe how you think others see you.

42 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 4 years

Photo

#goodreads

Emotional Equations: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness + Success by Chip Conley

501 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 4 years

Text

Character and Neurosis

These profiles have a more negative slant than a lot of Enneagram write-ups, for the reason of ‘shocking’ you into self-awareness of the destructive habits of each Enneagram type. It’s also useful to remember: the healthier you are as this type, the less you will identify with the more ‘extreme’ points of these personalities. A healthy 4 may identify with the sense of self-alienation and rejection from the outside world, but not the perpetual unhappiness. A 6 may identify with the extreme logic / caution but not the neurotic paranoia. An 8 may identify with the need to ‘be against’ but not the pathological aggression. Etc.

It’s about evaluating your deeper impulses, defense mechanisms, and the lies you tell yourself and not focusing primarily on behaviors.

Enneagram 1: Anger and Perfectionism

Enneagram 2: Pride and the Histrionic Personality

Enneagram 3: Vanity, In-Authenticity and the Marketing Orientation

Enneagram 4: Envy and the Depressive Masochistic Character

Enneagram 5: Avarice and Pathological Detachment

Enneagram 6: Cowardice, Paranoid Character & Accusation

Enneagram 7: Gluttony, Fraudulence, and Narcissistic Personality

Enneagram 8: Sadistic Character & Lust

Enneagram 9: Psycho Spiritual Inertia and the Over-Adjusted Disposition

The path to spiritual awareness and healing comes from learning to recognize these tendencies in yourself with enough awareness to notice each time your lies and defense mechanisms kick into place. This kind of self-observation allows you to grow into total awareness of yourself at all times, and recognize the CHOICE you face in giving in to your instinct (your number) or whether you will choose to do the opposite, in an effort of self-transformation. (The 5 allowing self to engage, rather than distance itself; the 2 asking for what they need, rather than only giving all the time; the 9 saying “no” when it doesn’t want to do that.)

Enneagram teachers disagree on how to grow yourself, but all agree that self-awareness and total honesty as regards your true motives is crucial. Many suggest a period of self-observation and journaling in retrospect, looking at various situations in which you can provide exact examples of when the outside world ‘threatened’ you into using your coping mechanisms (of your core and wing). This retrospective self-evaluation will enable you to see how your number’s methods have worked in the past, to further bring you into present self-awareness. The path forward from that is up to you – some choose building from the inside out through internal change (reflection, meditation, self-questioning), others alter their behavior first (eg: doing the opposite of what their first inclination is, to break the cycle).

Good luck!

#enneagram #enneagram 1 #enneagram 2 #enneagram 3 #enneagram 4 #enneagram 5 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 8 #enneagram 9

523 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 4 years

Text

How Functions Work: Inferior Se (INTJ/INFJ)

The inferior function is the hardest to understand and describe. It embodies the part of us that we are least accepting of. Although we are often unaware of its activities, it would be inaccurate to describe the inferior function as “weak” because all of our core functions are powerful in their own way. The power and force of the inferior function actually comes from the mistaken assumption that it has no power. We underestimate the inferior function at our own peril.

Keep reading

1K notes · View notes

weirdfella · 4 years

Text

Video examples of Enneatypes

via Typology Central

@https://typologycentral.tumblr.com/

#enneagram

5 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 4 years

Text

Family Dysfunction and Personality Type

by Susan Storm (X)

What Is a Dysfunctional Family?

Before we get into type’s role in all of this, let’s take a look at what family dysfunction really is. The Medical Dictionary defines ‘dysfunctional family’ like this:

“A family with multiple ‘internal’ – e.g. sibling rivalries, parent-child – conflicts, domestic violence, mental illness, single parenthood, or ‘external’ – eg. Alcohol or drug abuse, extramarital affairs, gambling, unemployment – influences that affect the basic needs of the family unit.”

Psych2go.net lists eight common characteristics of a dysfunctional family. These include:

Addiction

Perfectionism

Abuse

Unpredictability and Fear

Conditional Love

Lack of Boundaries

Lack of Intimacy

Poor Communication

Today we’re not going to get into issues of addiction, abuse, gambling, or unemployment. We’re only going to look at the difficulties that personality type can play a part in. These difficulties include sibling rivalries, parent-child conflicts, perfectionism, and poor communication. We’re going to go through each of these issues one-by-one so that you can see how type differences can cause family dysfunction to show up in an otherwise normal home.

Personality Type and Sibling Rivalries

In a study published in 2016 by the Journal of Marriage and Family, 75% of mothers admitted to being closer to one child. Researchers of a 2005 study observed that 70% of fathers and 74% of mothers show preferential treatment to one of their children. Parental favoritism is often at the center of sibling rivalries. Personality differences also play a part. Here’s an example to give an idea of how many sibling conflicts escalate:

A feeling dominant brother (ESFJ) is trying to maintain harmony in the home along with the feeling-oriented mother (INFJ). They both give priority to feeling over thinking when making decisions involving the family. Meanwhile, the thinking-dominant sister (ISTP) is seen as needlessly critical and argumentative. The ESFJ brother can’t figure out why INTP sister won’t just get along and work with the family “team” to maintain harmony. He de-values her problem-solving abilities because she expresses herself in a way that contrasts with his feeling orientation. It seems to him like she’s always critiquing things and questioning rules. ISTP sister sees ESFJ brother as a “suck-up” and a people-pleaser. She de-values his ability to sense the needs of the people around him. Fights erupt and hurt feelings linger and build over time. The INFJ mother feels a more natural understanding with her ESFJ son because they both process decisions through feeling. She struggles communicating clearly with the ISTP daughter and the daughter feels hurt and rejected.

The scenario above is just one of countless scenarios in which personality type can create chasms between siblings. We can’t possibly cover all the potential scenarios in this article, but we’ll take a look at some of the most common sibling rivalries related to type.

Feeling Sibling + Thinking Sibling: Feeling sibling believes that the thinking sibling is uncaring, cold, argumentative, or overly-detached. Thinking sibling believes that the feeling sibling is overly sensitive, illogical, too attached to their values. Arguments erupt when feeling sibling argues from a place of values or ethics and thinking sibling argues from a place of logic or causality.

Extroverted Sibling + Introverted Sibling: Extroverted sibling thinks the introverted sibling doesn’t like him/her because he always wants time alone. Pushes introverted sibling into social settings which results in introvert feeling angry and lashing out. Extroverted sibling pesters introverted sibling or gives up on relationship. Introverted siblings needs are possibly not respected in the home. Extroverted siblings needs are possibly not respected in the home. Introvert becomes drained by lack of alone time or extrovert becomes drained by lack of outside stimulation. They both see the other as uncooperative.

Sensing Sibling + Intuitive Sibling: Sensing sibling believes intuitive sibling is too fanciful or detached from reality. Sensing siblings wants intuitive sibling to be more specific and literal. Intuitive sibling believes sensing sibling is too unimaginative or literal. Intuitive sibling wants sensing sibling to be more big-picture oriented and conceptual. Both de-value the other’s intelligence and struggle to connect via communication.

Judging Sibling + Perceiving Sibling: Judging sibling believes that the perceiving sibling is lazy, a procrastinator, unpredictable, and inconsistent. Perceiving sibling sees judging sibling as too controlling, rigid, rule-abiding, or too easily flustered by change. Both feel misunderstood and judge/feel judged by the other.

Are sibling rivalries bound to happen when siblings have different preferences? Absolutely not. Sometimes children with different preferences bond in a powerful way and help to increase each other’s maturity and self-awareness. However, these types of rivalries can occur, particularly in families where there is unhealthy or absent communication, conditional love, or poor support and guidance from parents. If the most involved parent in the home shares more type preferences with one child over another, a “type culture” can be created that unintentionally de-values the gifts of the child with alternate preferences. The other sibling feels misunderstood, pressured, unappreciated, angry, and especially resentful of the sibling who shares type preferences with the parent.

Ways to Heal Sibling Rivalry and Other Family Conflict Issues:

Step 1 – If you sense that there is a lot of sibling rivalry in the home related to type differences then it’s time to make an assessment of your family. Get a piece of paper and write down each person’s preferences (if you don’t know them all, just write down the ones you do know).

For example:

The Johnson Family

Mom: ESFJ Dad: ISTJ Oldest Daughter: INFP Middle Son: ESTJ Youngest Son: XSFJ

Step 2 – Father and mother should get together and assess any similarities or differences in preferences among family members. How do you see the introverts getting along versus the extroverts? Is there an adult or child that is the “odd one out” when it comes to a particular preference? Are there any signs that this child feels de-valued or maybe idealized? The parents in the family should look everything over and also analyze the unique stressors of each of the family members in their home. You can see a list of possible stressors for introverted types here and extroverted types here. Discuss ways you might be seeing stress among each family member based on the expectations, rules, and lifestyle of the home.

Step 3 – Set up a family meeting. This should be at a time when everyone is relaxed and no conflicts are already at play.

Step 4 – Ask the introverts and extroverts to discuss their needs separately. Then ask them to come together and list 3 things they struggle with in the home related to their introversion or extroversion, and 3 things that they appreciate in the home. Look for some agreed-upon solutions to help extroverts and introverts both get their needs met. Write these down.

Step 5 – Continue this process with each preference. Intuitive and sensors. Thinking and feeling types. Judgers and perceivers. Pay special attention to family members who are unique from the rest of the group. In the example above of the Johnson family, you can see that the oldest daughter is the only intuitive and the only perceiving type. Does she feel misunderstood or forced into a lifestyle that doesn’t fit? Or does she feel overly-idealized because of her differences? Try to find some articles that would describe each child’s strengths so that everyone can realize the capabilities of each individual in the home. Realize, however, that if a child hasn’t been nurtured properly that they may not be showing those strengths. They may have been trying to operate in the same style as the predominant “family culture” and therefore haven’t been able to strengthen their own natural gifts.

Step 6 – Come up with a family action plan for acceptance in the home based on the conversations that take place. Make sure each individual gets a chance to discuss their thoughts and needs. Remember that it’s impossible to completely cater to every personality type and that’s okay. The goal is to let everyone feel heard, understood, and appreciated for who they are. This meeting will give each family member a chance to speak up for themselves and bring up their needs and possible frustrations in a judgment-free zone.

Some helpful articles to possibly reference during the family meeting:

What Your Child Needs to Hear, Based On Their Personality Type

What Your Child Needs, Based On Their Personality Type

The Childhood Struggles of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Parent-Child Conflicts

Parent-child conflicts are more likely to occur when children and parents don’t share the same type preferences. This is especially true if a parent doesn’t have an understanding of personality type. An introverted parent may view their extroverted child as showy, loud, obnoxious, or attention-seeking. An extroverted parent might view their introverted child as reclusive, boring, anti-social, or cold. Parents might try to change their children into their own image, viewing their natural wiring as the only “right” way to be. The child might try to oblige the parents for a while, but over time this can lead to resentment and frustration for everyone involved.

Extroverted Parents – Remember introverted children are energized by the inner world of ideas, reflections, and inner analysis. It doesn’t mean they dislike you if they want to spend most of their time in their room. They will respond better to a question if they have time to process it first. Chances are, they’ll become irritable if they have to socialize most of the day.

Introverted Parents – Remember extroverted children are energized by the outside world of people, activities, or objects. They aren’t trying to get in your way or disrupt your peace, they are simply trying to connect with you and energize themselves with interaction and experience. Continually shutting them down and telling them to be alone is the equivalent of an extrovert constantly forcing you to be around people. Balance is key. Some alone time each day for an extrovert is a good thing. Spending 80% of the day alone is not.

Thinking Parents – Remember that feeling children are more likely to take criticism personally. Give them words of affirmation consistently, and when you have to criticize, make sure to affirm your intentions rather than focusing solely on their mistake. Affirm that you love them and appreciate their good qualities. Remember that conflict is especially disruptive to feeling types and they may feel compelled to fix it (especially FJ children). Don’t create a lifestyle in the home that forces feeling children into perpetual mediation, need-tending, and peacemaking. This isn’t a healthy position for a child to be in.

Feeling Parents – Remember that thinking children seek logic over value-laden reasoning. They respond to straightforward direction and they want rules reasonably explained. If you have to give criticism, cut to the chase and avoid emotional lecturing or “sugarcoating”. Be kind, but don’t beat around the bush. If they struggle with emotional connection or empathy, don’t take it personally. For some thinking types empathy is a learned skill. Re-phrase insensitive comments to them so that they can have easier communication with others. Show appreciation for their problem-solving abilities and their critical thinking skills.

Intuitive Parents – Remember that sensing children want explicit, literal instructions. Don’t be vague or skip steps when giving them a direction. They might get irritated with you if you’re constantly trying to engage their imagination or talk concepts rather than give them facts and real-world experience. These kids trust what they can touch, feel, taste, hear, or what has been proven to them through life experience itself. Clarity is key and these kids will learn best through experience.

Sensing Parents – Remember that intuitive children need a big picture vision or idea in order to be inspired. They don’t want a ton of sequential steps when getting directions. They prefer to be given an overall goal and then fill in and ask questions as necessary. Let them imagine, question, and try things in new ways. Conversation about concrete day-to-day experiences can make them bored and irritable sometimes. Appeal to their imagination and understand that they will be more drawn to the abstract than the concrete.

Judging Parents – Remind yourself that perceiving children aren’t necessarily lazy or unproductive, although their style might seem like it to you. They like a lot of variety and spontaneity in their lives. A rigid structure and a very repetitive routine can make them irritable and frustrated. They will feel trapped if every part of their day is planned out or managed. They think best when they can mix work with play and mix up their routine. Give them the chance to prove that they can keep up with their tasks in their own way. If they are perpetually missing deadlines then step in and give them some time management techniques and reminders so that they can stay on top of their homework. Make sure that they’re getting unstructured time each day.

Perceiving Parents – Remind yourself that judging children need structure and consistency in their lives. They will get irritated if they are interrupted or forced to change their focus in the middle of a project. These kids want to finish what they start before they do anything else. They need time to switch gears between activities. They may not react well to surprises or spontaneous outings. Try to give them advanced notice of what your plans are for any given day. Remember that judging types feel responsible for the environment they are in. This can make them appear like “control freaks” sometimes, but it’s their way of organizing things so that they can think more clearly and accomplish their goals.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be displayed by any personality type, and it’s never something you want overrunning a household. Here are some things each type might want to look out for when running the home.

Introverts: Don’t expect your house to be perfectly quiet with children. Make sure you’re getting regular time alone, but don’t stifle the needs of the extroverts in the family. If things are noisy from time to time that’s normal. It’s not a sign that your family is out of control.

Extroverts: Don’t pressure your family into near-constant social excursions and outings. This may be your idea of fun, but not theirs. Don’t take it personally or consider yourself a failure if some of your family members seem happiest when they’re alone.

Intuitives: Don’t de-value the needs of sensing children by “zoning out” when they’re discussing details or concrete experiences. Realize that they are more focused on the present than the future and may not feel as inspired by your new idea as you are. That’s okay. Show appreciation for their perspective and spend occasional time doing hands-on activities with them. Also, don’t beat yourself up if your family life doesn’t match up to the vision you had many years ago. Intuitives tend to create idealized visions of family life and the reality of family life can be very different from the dream. Appreciate the positive moments and accept that family life has its ups and downs. Get help if you need it.

Sensors: Don’t condescend to intuitive children by saying their heads are in the clouds or they are too unrealistic. Listen to their imaginative ramblings and realize that they will be more focused on concepts that concrete experiences. Don’t talk over them or argue with them constantly when they’re trying to bring up a hypothetical scenario or envision possibilities. Let them have some time each day to let their mind wander over unusual scenarios. Let them try things in new ways sometimes, even if it feels unreasonable to you.

Thinkers: Don’t force feeling children to make decisions the same way that you do. Remember that feeling children will step into a situation personally before they decide. They want to know how a decision aligns with their values or impacts the people around them. They can feel indecisive and stressed if they have to make a decision that may upset other people. Don’t make fun of their emotions, or act aghast when they make a decision that to you seems illogical. Encourage them to stand up for themselves even when it may upset others. Validate their feelings, and calmly explain the logical consequences of something if they are too fixated on the personal aspects of a decision.

Feelers: Don’t act shocked or offended when thinking children speak their mind directly. When they are faced with a decision rather than step “in” to the situation, they step “out” to view it objectively and without personal bias. They try to detach themselves emotionally from a situation when they assess it. This can make them seem “cold” or lacking in empathy to some feeling types, but it also helps them to stay level-headed and logical.

Judgers: Don’t force perceiving children to do all their homework and all their chores as soon as they get home from school. They will likely need some time to de-compress and live freely before they settle back into homework and responsibility. Judgers like to get everything done ahead of schedule, but perceivers work in spurts. Make sure they are meeting their obligations and responsibilities, but try to break up tasks with chunks of regular free time.

Perceivers: Don’t berate judging children or call them “high strung” or “uptight”. Don’t force them into a constantly changing, unpredictable lifestyle. Knowing you’ll be on time, dependable, and consistent is important to them. Give them a heads up when something is going to happen so that they can mentally prepare.

Poor Communication:

So many family rivalries are the result of poor communication. This is especially true when family members de-value each other because their type preferences don’t align. We’ve gone over a lot of the ways that poor communication can show up in the sections preceding this so I’m not going to go into a whole lot of detail right here. However, doing the things below will help to open the channels of communication among family members of all types:

Schedule regular family time together (preferably without screens or devices around)

Have small family rituals (like a story before bed or a family game night) that encourage intimacy.

Eat meals together, without the TV on or phones at the table.

Make sure children get at least 15 minutes of one-on-one time each day.

Be an active listener. Focus 100% on what your child is saying. Make sure you understand your child correctly before you give advice or criticism. Paraphrase your child’s words back to them to make sure you’re being accurate.

If there are issues in the family, make sure that you attack the problem itself, NOT the family member personally.

Start each day fresh. Don’t hold onto bitterness, anger, or disappointments.

Ask forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes and acknowledging this is important.

When it comes to personality type and communication, you can find a whole bunch of tips to encourage positive communication here: How Each Personality Type Likes to Communicate.

#mbti #cognitive functions #family #dysfunctional #intuitives #judgers #thinkers #feelers #sensors #perceivers #extroverts #introverts

45 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 5 years

Text

Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Enneagram

(If you are self-typed correctly, you should be able to come up with several specific examples from your own life of using the psychological defense mechanisms of your core type. Since your secondary type is also quite strong, you may also have examples to go with your higher / lower fix.)

Sourced here.

1) Ones use reaction formation to avoid anger (i.e. direct anger) and stay in control of their feelings and instincts in order to maintain a self image of being right. Reaction formation is feeling one thing and then expressing the opposite or at least something unrelated, such as feeling resentful but acting nice, feeling a need to rest but working harder. The relentless demand of the inner critic to be good and do good at all times replaces personal needs and shuts down feelings. 2) Twos use repression of personal needs and feelings to avoid being needy and to maintain a self image of being helpful. Repression is putting one’s “unacceptable” feelings and impulses out of awareness by converting them into a more acceptable kind of emotional energy. Self-esteem depends on winning the approval of others. This can take the form of being overly nice, flattering people, and a superficial friendliness. Or it can show up as an attitude of entitlement. Their genuine need for connection takes the form of “you need me.” 3) Threes use identification to avoid failure and maintain a self image of being successful. Identification is stepping into a role so completely that Threes lose contact with who they are inside. The pressure to keep up a winning image prevents access to personal feelings and needs. Attention goes to the external environment: the tasks to be done and the expectations of other people. Threes find it very difficult to drop the role, or drop the image, since they get so much positive reinforcement in a society that values achievement and success. 4) Fours use introjection to avoid ordinariness and maintain a self image of being authentic. Positive introjection is an attempt to overcome the feeling of deficiency by seeking value from an idealized experience, work or relationship and internalizing this through the emotional center. This also leads to negative introjection: Fours tend blame themselves for whatever goes wrong in personal relationships. Their experience of loss or abandonment can take form inside as a self-rejecting voice (a negative introject) which leads to pervasive feelings of unworthiness. 5) Fives use isolation to avoid the experience of inner emptiness and maintain a self image of being knowledgeable. Isolation can be physical withdrawal from others, but it also means withdrawing on the inside from one’s emotions and staying up in the head. Acquiring knowledge becomes a way to create safety and self worth, but an over-emphasis on the intellect prevents Fives from connecting with the life force in their bodies and the support available in relationship with others. 6) Sixes use projection to avoid rejection and to maintain a self image of being loyal. Projection is a way of attributing to others what one can’t accept in oneself, both positive and negative. Positive feelings are projected onto a romantic relationship or an external authority figure in order to assure safety and justify loyalty. Negative feelings are projected onto others to justify internal feelings of fear and distrust. Sixes support their projections by finding and amplifying the information which fits their premise. 7) Sevens use rationalization to avoid suffering and to maintain a self image of being OK. Rationalization is a way of staying in the head, explaining away or justifying things in order to distance from painful feelings and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. Everything can be re-framed towards the positive. Their ability to think of new options and possibilities allows Sevens to leave the present moment with its limitations and live in a seemingly unlimited future. 8) Eights use denial to avoid vulnerability and to maintain a self image of being strong. Denial means to power up in the body center and forcefully re-direct energy and attention through willfulness and control. Vulnerable feelings are automatically put away and not experienced. Emotional energy is reduced, while instinctual energy is increased. Receptivity necessarily involves some vulnerability, so Eights seek to impact the world and other people rather than be receptive to them. 9) Nines use narcotization to avoid conflict and to maintain a self image of being comfortable or harmonious. Narcotization is using food and drink, entertainment, or simply repetitive patterns of thinking and doing to “put oneself to sleep”. Even productive activities can keep Nines narcotized if they become too habitual. Avoiding conflict with others keeps Nines from being fully present in relationships. Avoiding internal conflict leads to inertia and self-forgetting.

#enneagram

665 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 6 years

Text

What Makes the Types Attractive: Sensor Edition

ESFJs are attractive to others because of their devotion to their loved ones, their sense of responsibility to serving others, their upbeat optimism in the face of adversity, their unquestioning loyalty and support for their loved ones, their attentiveness to the practical details that keep the machine running smoothly, and their ability to see the good in everybody (and the silver lining in every situation).

ISFJs are attractive to others because of their attentiveness to the needs of others, their dedication to serving their community without the expectation of recognition for their contributions, their calm and level-headed reassurance that everything will be okay, the reliability with which they support others and make sure they practical needs are taken care of, their hard-working nature, their tender sentimentality, the Universal Parent™ archetype of their personality, their lack of pretentiousness and social posturing, and their selfless and altruistic nature.

ESTJs are attractive to others because of their reliability, their sense of responsibility when it comes to their family and friends, their strong sense of honesty, integrity, and hard work, their unwavering belief in the ability of themselves and others to achieve anything they want as long as they put enough hard and honest work in it, their “tell it like it is” attitude, and their dedication to lending their loved ones a helping hand in practical ways at all costs, even to their own detriment.

ISTJs are attractive to others because of their strong sense of duty, their dedication to hard work and getting it done even when they don’t want to, their dependability, their strong sense of moral righteousness, the vividness of their sensory recall, how interesting and detailed their memories are (if you can get them talking about it), the thoroughness of their explanations, the sheer volume of knowledge they’ve accrued about the subjects they find interesting, and the secret soft side that they only reveal to people they care about.

ESTPs are attractive to others because of their unwavering self-confidence, their ability to get people moving, the energy they suffuse into the vibe of a room, the way they can make even the riskiest and most dangerous of plans sound like just another fun adventure that’s Totally Going To Work Out, I Promise™, the chameleon-like quality of their personality, how quickly they’ll jump in to protect the people they care about, how rapidly they pick up new information, how creative they can be in thinking of a work-around for a problem, how you never really know what’s going to happen next when you’re with them, and how intensely physically affectionate and demonstrative they are.

ISTPs are attractive to others because of their innate coolness, their wickedly acerbic sense of humor, their clever banter, their laid back vibe, their observant and perceptive nature, their mysteriously aloof demeanor that you want to solve like a puzzle, their unpretentious personality, their ability to think on their feet, their willingness to express their own opinions (even if they’re unpopular), their inexplicable ability to be both untouchably aloof yet intensely present at the same time, their impeccable sense of style, their physical grace, how it seems like not a single movement is wasted, the intensity of their focus, their creativity, their drive for self-perfection, and their “I don’t give a fuck” demeanor coupled with the small ways in which they display affection for those they love.

ESFPs are attractive to others because of their natural ability to be entertaining, their impressive skill for being in touch with their body and how it moves through space, the ability to think on their feet, their empathetic and understanding nature, their dedication to being unabashedly themselves (and encouraging others to do the same), their talent for making friends quickly wherever they go, their impressive knack for identifying creative solutions for solving problems very quickly, their unashamed bent for expressing exactly what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling, their surprisingly perceptive and observant nature, their honesty and straightforwardness, and their admirable desire to find mutually beneficial solutions that work out for everybody.

ISFPs are attractive to others because of the raw intensity of their sensuality, their deeply self-reflective bent, their creativity and originality, their quiet yet observant energy, their sweetness, their strong self-awareness, their ability to make you feel comfortable experiencing your own emotions, their ability to go with the flow, their analytical nature, the practicality of their approach to drawing conclusions, their acknowledgement of nuance and complexity when it comes to morality, their willingness to accept all of your quirks and flaws without judgment, their offbeat sense of personal style, and their non-judgmental nature.

#sensors #esfj #isfj #estj #istj #esfp #isfp #estp #istp #mbti

226 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 6 years

Note

Do you have any help for a sp/sx INTP enneagram 5 in terms of socialising and building human connections? Literally ANYthing will be appreciated!! Xx

Social skills for INTP/Enneagram 5/reserved introverts

As an INTP 5 sp/sx, you’d likely fit most descriptions of INTPs or enneagram 5—very reserved, independent and want to be left alone except when talking about specific interests with few special people, disliking most people and social norms. We don’t come equipped with social skills but trust me, it’s a skill that we can master.

Become self-aware of how you appear to other people

The way you see yourself in your head v.s. the way people see you are likely very different, and usually not in a good way. Unless you truly observe yourself and understand how you appear to others, you may come off as either boring, creepy, or unfriendly.

Boring because you literally say nothing (and people would assume you have nothing to say) except an occasional long, dry rant about some obscure facts no one else cares about.

Creepy because you prefer to lurk at the edge of a group or a corner of a room, likely with closed body language while staring at people (to observe/study them or trying to listen in but feeling too awkward to really get involved or whatnot).

Unfriendly because you’d answer questions with very short phrases, don’t reciprocate friendly chitchat, don’t show any enthusiasm or interest, and repeatedly refuse invitations to hang out. Feelers probably think you downright hate them, even if you don’t.

Even as a so/sx, I’ve also been there my friend. Here’s a how to fix it:

Mastering social skills require a little image-management. Does that mean you have to fake it? No. It means you have to consciously choose to present the part of you that others also find interesting.

As an INTP 5, you may be reserved, but you’re also naturally very curious. Why not show your curiosity instead of saying nothing. Get curious and ask people why they chose to study what they did, their favorite place to travel, their thoughts on meme culture, or recommend a good book.

Look within yourself and observes other qualities you like about yourself. Make a decision to show them to the world instead of looking like you have no personality.

Small talk is the necessary evil, so learn how to make it interesting

I know we really hate small talk. We just want to have deep, interesting conversations all the time. But imagine this: a complete stranger walks up to you, opens his mouth, and the first thing he says is “what’s your reason to live?” You’d probably go: uh…what the fuck?

Small talk is the gateway to interesting conversations. You only need 2-5 small talk questions to find a few facts about them before getting to the interesting stuff like opinions, motivations, and values.

Ask a few what, when, where, how to find out their names, what they do, things they like, etc.

Then ask the why—based on facts you got from the small talk: Why did you become a teacher? Why is that you favorite book? You mentioned you did an exchange program in Japan, what do you think about their culture? What was the most surprising thing you learned there?

When you get to the why, you’ll likely learn a lot of interesting things you never knew before.

The easiest way to make new friends is through interest groups

I totally don’t get people’s preconception that they have to go to a party or a bar to meet new friends. If you like parties and bars, then sure. But if not, then why are you going to places you hate to meet people who like the things you hate?

If you like MBTI/enneagram, find an MBTI meetup near you or join an MBTI class. Or if you like drawing, go to a life drawing session, etc. You’ll find plenty of people with a guaranteed common interest you can have interesting discussions with.

Other social skills advice I’ve written

Charisma on Command (youtube): Practical advice & logical breakdowns of what makes different famous people charismatic in their own personal styles

Life Advice playlist by Matthew Hussey. A lot of advice I gave on this blog, I learned from him.

-eilamona

[ MBTI Merch ]

#intp #enneagram 5 #how to make friends #mbti aesthetic #typology

275 notes · View notes

weirdfella · 6 years

Text

What functions are and what they're not

SUBMITTED by Steve

Introverted Sensing

What it’s not: Memory, traditions, conservatism, obsession over details

What it is: Subjective impressions of sensory data and experiences, archived away so it can be used for future references

Extroverted Sensing

What it’s not: Athleticism, pleasure/thrill-seeking, disregard for consequences

What it is: Seeing things as they are first hand and reacting to them accordingly in the moment

Introverted Intuition

What it’s not: 6th sense, esoteric powers and obsession over personal goals

What it is: searching for the implication of things, getting to the bottom line and synthesizing an idea that hasn’t been concretely proven yet, whether it is right or wrong.

Extroverted Intuition

What it’s not: Mental hyperactivity, flight of ideas and flakiness. Arguing different points of view just to be rattle people or being unique.

What it is: Exploring the different facets of reality, wanting to find different ways of interpreting data.

Introverted Feeling

What it’s not: Repressing emotions so that no one can see them. Being deep and mysterious for the sake of being deep and mysterious.

What it is: Analyzing and acting on data according to one’s own personal feeling tone to it. Making personal sense of everything.

Extroverted Feeling

What it’s not: Having emotions worn on their sleeves, abiding by social protocol even if it doesn’t want to

What it is: Tapping into and adapting to the emotional atmosphere, considering the impact of one’s actions on others

Introverted Thinking

What it’s not: Analyzing everything, being ruthlessly honest about one’s opinions because people’s emotions don’t matter

What it is: Analyzing and acting on data according to one’s own personal logical tone to it. Mentally taking apart things to make impersonal sense of it.

Extroverted Thinking

What it’s not: Being a leader, wanting to control and getting things done at the expense of one and other’s feelings

What it is: Acting on what makes logical sense to oneself and others, arguing for rationality over emotions

#cognitive functions #ti #te #fi #fe #ni #ne #si #se

2K notes · View notes

weirdfella · 6 years

Text

Healthy / Unhealthy Heart Triad:

Pulled off PersonalityCafe. Saw no cited source. (Know it? Tell me.)

Enneagram 2

At their best: radiant altruism, selfless empathy, appreciative nurturing.

Mid-levels: sentiment, intrusive intimacy, sanctimonious vainglory.

At their worst: manipulative blame, coercive hysteria, parasitic victimization.

Healthy 2w1: find their true calling involves helping others grow, often children. They become able to help themselves as wisely and lovingly as they help others. They enjoy watching people find their calling, accepting the delightful differences among us. Sevenish joy from one’s integration combines with fourish depth and empathy from the integration of two. The result is tolerant, patient celebration of growth and diversity. Advanced 2w1s have deep love and inspired wisdom. They are especially good at helping those who in the most desperate situations. They plunge boldly into terrifying scenes to bring forth glorious hope, love, and healing. Usually it is the least self-sufficient who benefit the most from their endless charity.

Unhealthy 2w1: lose the ability to sense their own needs, and become more likely to speak their negative judgments of others. Their increasing self-criticism usually gets repressed, because the vainglory of the two is more powerful than the one’s guilt. Their inner conflict is as dangerous and powerful as the 1w2, but less visible because it is heavily repressed by self-deception. When two goes to eight, violence erupts. In the name of love, manipulation turns into physical coercion. Self-deception reaches amazing levels as destructive acts are rationalized into hard love. Fourish guilt is submerged and converted into further denial. I am doing this for your own good, and it hurts me more than it hurts you. In the end, “loving confrontations” may generate such hatred and fear in others that they may become the target of violence, as well as the origin.

Healthy 2w3: get beyond the immediate desire to please. Pride and image-consciousness drop away and they experience real, heartfelt love. They no longer need the constant reassurance of someone else’s admiring gratitude. Two integrates to four, opening up new realms of creative expression, while three goes to six, bringing in a deeper appreciation of the value of belonging to a real community of friends. They become genuine, loving companions. Someone whose generosity is so continuous and so genuine it seems an inseparable part of the personality. Never is there the tiniest hint anything is expected in return – advanced 2w3’s become so good at giving, the recipient never finds out where the help came from (or even that it has happened). Generosity comes through them, not from them.

Unhealthy 2w3: less able to restrain repressed desires. In a misguided attempt to get others to meet their (unspoken) needs, they manufacture more and more imaginary needs to fill for others. Their intrusive, self-satisfied help causes others to move away. 2w3 may hide the resulting loneliness and anger behind an outwardly carefree appearance, but others can see the hypocrisy involved. They may break down under the stress. Suddenly the truth pops out from under the increasingly strained wrappings of self-delusion, and in a desperate effort to paste over the uncomfortable vision, they may fly into an eightish homicidal hysteria or sink into nineish psychotic withdrawal. The repressed feelings of a lifetime might spew out in days or weeks. Relationships that have lasted for years might be discarded like used tissue.

Enneagram 3

At their best: genuine acceptance, poised assurance, motivated confidence.

Mid-levels: competitive diplomacy, efficient expedience, self-promoting narcissism.

At their worst: opportunistic scheming, deceptive sabotage, relentless monomania.

Healthy 3w2: loses the false polish and becomes more real. The vanity of three turns into genuine self-observation, and the seductive pride of two turns into humility. Friendly and personable people whose natural social skills help others feel comfortable. They find a new kind of pleasure at playing without always having to win, although they still choose to be competitive when it’s appropriate. Genuine feelings emerge and are given expression as two integrates to four, while three going to six provides a sense of belonging that builds powerful bonds of friendship. Further 3w2 integration leads to an astonishing ability to generate enthusiastic optimism and self-confidence in others. Usually an expert motivational speaker, often taking advantage of that skill. The uplifting message is delivered with style and power, zooming to the heart of the listener, where the magic of positive thinking can begin. Unhealthy 3w2: become trapped by the vain desire to be admired and attractive. They hide behind their false emotional facade. Trying ever harder to show the emotional states they think others think they should show, they get further out of touch with whatever real emotions they are ignoring. The anger and pushiness from the two-wing’s disintegration to eight combine with the three’s nineish emotional deadening, for an annoying hostile self-promotion. Eightish anger at the world is the only emotion strong enough to penetrate the cotton wall of nineish deadness. They might commit horrible atrocities in a peculiar, zombielike state. A façade of niceness that covers a veneer of cruelty. See who brought you to ruin! I am the one.

Healthy 3w4: gentle, compassionate, and effective. When three integrates to six and four integrates to one, a new sense of social responsibility combines with the wisdom of emotional equanimity. Effective at accomplishing real-world goals and intuitive good advisers. Quiet self-assurance with deep emotional insight into other people’s experiences. Good at spreading confidence and optimism among team members. Wherever they go they leave behind a feeling of deep connection and belonging.

Unhealthy 3w4: hides loss of self-worth behind a veneer of artificial coolness. If the success-orientation of the three becomes too compulsive, and the fourish introspection gets out of hand, 3w4s lose their genuineness. They become less socially adept, and manipulative, as their fourish self-dislike leads to a twoish desire to reinforce self-image by “helping” others. The resulting self-deceptive pride is hidden behind emotional deadening as three pulls in the worst of nine. Such people can be difficult to like, because of the way they constantly remind themselves and others of their accomplishments. Capable of great atrocities just like 3w2, except that due to the greater self-examination of the four-wing, such crimes are more likely isolated cases. Can be self-destructive as all the normal rules of social conduct are abandoned in an attempt to generate attention of any kind from others.

Enneagram 4

At their best: inspired originality, self-aware intuition, subtle humanity

Mid-levels: symbolic drama, withdrawn melancholy, self-indulgent disdain.

At their worst: desolate confusion, guilt-ridden torment, suicidal despair.

Healthy 4w3: finds the peace of equanimity. When four integrates to one and three integrates to six, deep compassionate wisdom is augmented by a feeling of brotherhood and belonging. Reaches a point where comfort is possible without being tormented by a desire others recognize their special uniqueness. Gives sensitive, unselfish understanding to others who are feeling emotional difficulty. Tremendous emotional integrity. Others feel they are being heard, but not judged. An equal and a teacher, a sympathetic listener and a disciplined advisor. Real transformations happen in the lives of those who tell their stories to them. People become powerfully motivated to find real meaning in their lives.

Unhealthy 4w3: swings through wild emotional cycles. As fourish emotionality gets more out of control, bringing in the selfish expectations of special treatment of the unhealthy two, the three-wing’s nineish tendencies cause a split within the psyche. The more intensely the dramatized pseudo-emotions are felt, the less in touch the 4w3 becomes with the real, honest feelings underneath. The dramatic emotions become more and more staged and false. In the unhealthy extreme, there is little actual contact with real feelings, despite the possibly awe-inspiring intensity of outward expression. All the theatrical emotionality is a fearful cover for an inner emptiness that will not go away. Extremely unHealthy 4w3 has become so attached to the outward expression of the false emotions that the real feelings are overwhelmed and drowned out. The conviction of being hopelessly flawed may lead to desperate attempts to end it all in some dramatic, attention-grabbing way.

Healthy 4w5: lightens up. The five-wing’s integration to eight adds solidity and strength, while the integration of four to one provides clear judgment and rationality. Begin to escape from the obsessive, dark, inner view, looking more outward into the world. There they find new connections with others, to their surprise. They discover they have been loving people all along, although they may not have known it. The realization love has been present all along strengthens into an unquenchable thirst for deeper inner connections with an inner source of meaning. These connections are strengthened by loving compassion for other humans. A gentle, strong, deeply passionate teacher. Keen observations of the subtle states of others provide a miraculous ability to elicit powerful, transforming feelings.

Unhealthy 4w5: can move into the extreme withdrawal of depression, then into dark impulsiveness. Deeply troubled by feelings of utter worthlessness and extreme isolation, may look for opportunities to perform degrading, menial tasks, rationalizing that they deserve such a fate. Servility and self-abasement provide a kind of barely-adequate, temporary relief from the constant torment of self-hatred. As life becomes less tolerable, suicide becomes increasingly likely, and may be done in a gruesome way. Extremely dark, horrifying inner imaginings are welcomed and encouraged. The whole world, both inner and outer, is seen as grotesquely diseased and utterly without redeeming qualities. 4w5 Hell is a place of unimaginable ugliness, populated by those deformed, psychotic monsters, the human race. Revels in hopelessness and despair.

#enneagram two #enneagram #2w1 #2w3 #enneagram 3 #3w2 #enneagram 4 #4w5 #4w6 #heart types #3w4

2K notes · View notes

weirdfella · 6 years

Text

Healthy / Unhealthy Gut Triad:

Pulled off PersonalityCafe. Saw no cited source. (Know it? Tell me.)

Enneagram 8

At their best: heroic mercy, resourceful action, decisive honor.

Mid-levels: rugged pragmatism, expansive domination, belligerent aggression.

At their worst: ruthless brutality, megalomaniacal rage, murderous cruelty.

Healthy 8w7: softens up, gains charm and tact. Loses some of the compulsive combativeness and moderates the tendency to go to extremes. Real personal power, from essence, becomes more available in place of artificial bravado. Realizes sometimes the most powerful thing to do is to wait, rather than charging in blindly. Finds that when dominance is a choice (and eight integrates to two), one can choose to be kind and gentle, using power constructively instead of combatively. Seven integrates to five, and impulsive action is replaced by considered, perceptive understanding, making rash actions unnecessary. A person who may have been unpolished, rude, and rough becomes a sophisticated judge of situations, intuitively in touch with the flow of human interaction.

Unhealthy 8w7: can become physically dangerous. With little or no concern for the rules, almost no emotional sensitivity, and an unsociable, highly belligerent nature, this person can become a rough character. Here is the schoolyard bully, the street thug, and the uncultured slob. If you don’t like it, tough. Why bother to be careful when I can get what I want through brute force? Becomes violent, rude, and deadly, lashing out at whatever gets in the way. As the violence increases, so does the need to defend against counter-attacks. Eight pulls in the worst of five, creating the need for walls and protection, while seven’s stress to one brings increasingly intolerant, judgmental thoughts. The world becomes a crazy battlefield, where one must kill or be killed, and every moment requires constant defensive and offensive maneuvering.

Healthy 8w9: uses gentle strength with kindness. Becomes more in touch with the inner self, the drive to dominate becomes less compulsive, and the contradictory desire to withdraw and be settled is less overwhelming. This frees the will, allowing them to see the value of choosing carefully when to be powerful and when to pull back, rather than being enslaved by alternating sleepiness and angry outbursts. Others benefit from the well-timed use of personal power. Someone whose healthy, unselfconscious threeish ambition (from integrated nine) is augmented by a twoish benevolence (from integrated eight). Abe able to be tough when toughness is needed, and gentle and loving at other times.

Unhealthy 8w9: carries within a deep conflict between self-forgetting and combativeness. As these contradictory urges intensify, becomes less predictable and more dangerous. Times of quiet are deceptive, because anger simmers under the surface. Sudden explosions of rage become more intense and frequent. In extreme imbalance the influences of nine stressing to six and eight stressing to five add two different flavors of paranoid anxiety, which combines with the withdrawal of the nine to bring 8w9 into a state of self-protective isolation.

Enneagram 9

At their best: serene exuberance, receptive sensuality, imaginative synthesis.

Mid-levels: conventional compliance, habitual complacence, indolent resignation.

At their worst: obstinate neglect, helpless amnesia, catatonic vacancy.

Healthy 9w8: use their lusty eight-wing to pull themselves out of the dream. For them, the expansiveness and energy of eight is a direct antidote to nineish apathy and resignation. When eight begins to pull in the benevolence of two and nine finds the ambition of three, there is no stopping these powerful, generous people. Carries the goodness and generosity of two and the deep self-actualization of three, without any trace of pride or vanity. People feel uplifted in the presence of such completely humble, giving, magnificent, fully self-created beings. It is not what they do, it’s how they are. They simply are without trying to be anything in particular.

Unhealthy 9w8: tends to fall into a dream state. If the dream deepens, apathy leads to sixish suspicion, while eightish defensiveness leads to fiveish paranoia. Nine’s primary defense of withdrawal is enhanced by both tendencies, and they become a reclusive, lazy, mistrustful, hermit. In the worst cases, the tendency to escape by going to sleep leads to total avoidance of any kind of real interaction. Bills go unpaid, the phone rings without being answered, and the lawn goes unmowed. Somnolence leads them deeper and deeper into self-negation, resulting in a paranoid sort of comatose sloth. No one is home in the body, and the body is powered down.

Healthy 9w1: becomes more present. Now there is really somebody home, a genuine being with actual goals and self-interest who happily starts creating results in the world. Nine begins to show some threeish ambition and the one-wing begins to loosen up its perfectionism. While such a person is still involved in activities that are non-threatening and not particularly visible in the world at large, the results often affect others in useful and subtle ways. Finds deep sevenish joy in the accomplishment of personal goals. Usually the goals involve teaching or empowering others. Oneish intellectual rigor assumes real importance when the desire for withdrawal diminishes, allowing them to risk genuine involvement. Thoughts and internal images finally correspond to actual reality. They are able to transmit to others a special and powerful kind of integrated self-actualization.

Unhealthy 9w1: nineish withdrawal increases, accompanied by oneish judgment of self and others. Retreats into a fantasy world inhabited by comfortably fuzzy generalities and stereotyped images of other people. These are the people 9w1 wishes could inhabit the real world – wishful, perfect images of real people. Unfortunately, because 9w1 is convinced of the reality of these internally generated images, real-life interactions suffer when people do not live up to their idealized images. But the 9w1 tries very hard not to notice. It becomes nearly impossible not to see the discrepancies between the perfect inner images and the outward reality. Total isolation becomes the only way to avoid seeing the world is populated by disturbingly imperfect, unpredictable, demanding, untrustworthy beings. Life falls apart at the seams and psychotic 9w1 may reach a state of catatonic pseudo-coma. Even eating and drinking can become too much work. No one is home in the body, and the body itself is allowed to fall into ruins.

Enneagram 1:

At their best: wise acceptance, discerning rationality, self-disciplined ethics.

Mid-levels: preachy idealism, rigid logic, perfectionistic judgment.

At their worst: vitriolic self-righteousness, hypocritical obsession, sadistic condemnation.

Healthy 1w9: overcomes emotional repression, discovering an inner warmth. Although they still have a tendency to judge, they do not take their judgments as seriously, admitting they may be wrong. They consciously control their nineish tendency to withdraw from stress, allowing them to take a more active role in life, although there’s still a gentle, quiet feeling. The compulsive workaholic turns into a responsible but fun-loving person who allows time for letting go and relaxing. Has a 7ish joy for life and 3ish charisma and accomplishment.

Unhealthy 1w9: over-controls their emotions, resulting in physical rigidity and an undercurrent of explosive energy. The repressed emotions, particularly anger, build up unnoticed and leak out. One disintegrates to four, resulting in hostility, introspective withdrawal, and deep self-hatred, while nine disintegrates to six, bringing in suspicion, blaming, and passive-aggressive behavior. Keeps the fearful blaming and suspicion inside, where they bottle up more tightly. All of life becomes a lockstep repetition of stylized routines. Extremely anxious about getting everything right. Every tiny move is subject to intense, painful scrutiny, and past behaviors are examined in agonizing detail. (Did I leave the oven on? Did I lock the door? Did I run over somebody on the way to work?) Psychotic 1/9 might become completely paralyzed into inaction, stabbed through the heart by the endless need to repeat behaviors until they feel precisely correct.

Healthy 1w2: loosens up, becoming able to let go of righteous judgments. They allow for the possibility their views might not be accurate. Their other-directed corrections soften and become helpful rather than intrusive. They are able to see the difference between proud perfectionism and healthy tolerance of differences. One integrates to seven, bringing in joy and enthusiasm, while two integrates to four, replacing selfish manipulation with genuine compassionate concern for others. Deep oneish wisdom combines with twoish loving generosity for an intensely personal kind of guidance, even when addressing large groups. Healthy 1w2s seem to know exactly what is needed for maximum teaching value in any situation. They teach by asking the right questions, gently guiding the student to deeper insights.

Unhealthy 1w2: pride and perfectionism. Tremendous inner conflict rages between the 2-wing that says “I am a good, generous person” and the one that sees every tiny error as a sign of fundamental worthlessness. One disintegrates to four, where self-critical introspection creates a spiral of hopelessness, while two disintegrates to eight, so when the heavily repressed anger erupts it does so in sudden (but usually short) fits of hyper-critical rage, sometimes accompanied by overt violence. These violent fits become more food for the self-judgment spiral, as the 1w2 falls into guilty remorse. In the worst cases, repressed oneish anger and hostile twoish pride combine, creating intense sessions of wrenching, hand-wringing despair. If my anger is not expressed towards others, it is directed at myself. I am not good enough if I cannot meet my own standards. I must work harder and harder, or I will fail my own increasingly difficult self-tests. Self-punishment is necessary, in the form of grueling work days, endless tormented repetitions of not-quite perfect tasks, and every kind of refusal to experience any sort of pleasure.

#enneagram 8 #enneagram 9 #enneagram 1 #8w7 #8w9 #9w8 #9w1 #1w9 #1w2 #enneagram gut triad

1K notes · View notes

weirdfella · 6 years

Text

Healthy / Unhealthy Head Triad:

Pulled off PersonalityCafe. Saw no cited source. (Know it? Tell me.)

Enneagram 5

At their best: profound vision, objective insight, innovative exploration.

Mid-levels: comprehensive knowledge, intense preoccupation, cynical argumentation.

At their worst: eccentric nihilism, phobic delirium, psychotic paralysis.

Healthy 5w4: more able to participate in life. When the fiveish desire to withdraw and sort things out is no longer compulsive, the consciously chosen time alone becomes a tool for understanding the world, rather than an entrapping habit. The fourish passion for beauty emerges as the conscious result of harnessing the emotions rather than being their slave. Begin to deeply understand the simple, elegant way the awesome complexity of the world emerges from fundamental principles. They find great joy in watching and learning. When the perception of five and the passion of four are augmented by eight’s power and leadership, plus one’s intuitive wisdom, clear comprehensions can be transmitted to others.

Unhealthy 5w4: gets lost in the details. The compulsive analysis of five can lead to elaborate pseudo-logical constructions designed to explain everything. The four-wing’s emotionality adds a flavor of dramatic hopelessness. Others Simply Do Not Understand. No one could understand. Retreats to a place of safety, hoping to escape from view, continuing to uncover the truth. There is little to no social involvement. The panic and scattered mania of seven combine with twoish self-congratulatory hysteria. Can come back into the world, awkward and excitable, ready to bolt but ready to passionately defend a bizarre, baroque fantasy world. As inner tension builds, schizoid withdrawal becomes more and more likely. The end result is a kind of terrified fugue, completely cut off from reality. The only escape from constant overwhelming chaos is inward.

Healthy 5w6: gains social ease. Deep perception and serene faith combine for a kind of knowing that focuses on the truth of human interactions. Overcomes the fear of intimacy and finds satisfaction in genuine relationships. Strikes a balance between the urge to withdraw to sort things out and the desire to feel safe among trusted friends. The need diminishes to protect against deceit by constantly analyzing people, leading to greater comfort and depth in friendship. Brings together the powerful insight of five, the stamina and leadership of eight, the deep faith and genuineness of six, and the inner peace of nine.

Unhealthy 5w6: becomes afraid of people. Mistrust interacts with reductionist analysis, and the world begins to seem more threatening. Threeish competitive urges might emerge, combining with sevenish mania to create a kind of intense, argumentative combativeness to hide a deep sense of inadequacy. This turns people away, leading to a greater sense of isolation. Tends to rationalize that most people are not honest anyway, and since other people fail to recognize the value of their brilliant ideas, they are not worth knowing at all. Paranoia and anxiety lead 5w6 into a terrifying spiral in which increasingly bizarre fabrications may be used to explain meaning into even the most mundane events.

Enneagram 6

At their best: self-affirming courage, faithful affection, responsible discipline.

Mid-levels: dutiful loyalty, anxious ambivalence, belligerent scapegoating.

At their worst: needy conformism, paranoid obsession, self-destructive panic.

Healthy 6w5: becomes free of anxiety and reductionist analysis, allowing their endearing gentility and good humor to emerge. Laughs easily, with a sense of relief. Can it really be so simple to live and enjoy life? There is a feeling of relaxed good nature and certainty. This is a person you can trust, someone to rely on for true friendship. Turns into a warm and deeply loving person, someone in touch with a real universal authority, internally and externally available. Acts with quiet confidence, coming from a place of peaceful faith. Essential sixness brings deep interpersonal bonding, essential fiveness builds penetrating perception, and nineish tranquility combines with eightish personal power.

Unhealthy 6w5: begins to feel anxious and wants to run away to a protected place. Unable to trust inner or outer authority, they search for an explanation for the constant tension. Others are easy to blame, and by projecting the causes of anxiety outward, 6w5 can find a temporary release. With increased stress, 6w5 loses faith in the blaming. No explanation for the anxiety satisfies, and the world begins to seem like a horrible, frightening game. Paranoia escalates. Bounces rapidly from fearful withdrawal to tense, overconfident pretense. Everyone is out to get me, and there is no place to run. I’m frightened out of my wits, and I know I am headed for a complete breakdown, but maybe if I can get myself into enough trouble someone will come and rescue me.

Healthy 6w7: has a feeling of firm steadiness, sure-footed and quiet. Sevenish impulsivity and sixish anxiety diminish, replaced by a calm deliberateness. Although fun and companionship are still highly valued, the desperate longing for security converts into inner strength. Finds a deep sense of belonging to the universe, and to mankind. Nineish calm and sixish faith combine with sevenish joy and fiveish perception. Shares with others a sense of eternal companionship and security.

Unhealthy 6w7: visibly desperate. Anxiety and insecurity become powerful controlling influences. Jumping from one colorful emotional state to another, trying to find any way to quell the increasing sense of uncertainty and vulnerability. They looks for someone out there who will help, but finds no one to trust. Will try anything to escape from the increasingly intolerable situations that arise. Physical illness, car troubles, boyfriends, girlfriends, landlords, all become scapegoats for the real problem of inner helpless dependence. You are either all-good or all-bad, and whether I like you or not can change from moment to moment. My very identity splits into fragments as I desperately cut myself into pieces to escape the horrible sense of impending catastrophe.

Enneagram 7

At their best: ecstatic gratitude, spontaneous enthusiasm, passionate accomplishment.

Mid-levels: active materialism, restless superficiality, addictive excess.

At their worst: irresponsible debauchery, manic hysteria, burnt-out debilitation.

Healthy 7w6: finds a new kind of centered calmness, as impulsivity and the desire to entertain fall away. Instead of shifting to another mood, they wait and see where this one leads. The slippery, happy-go-lucky quality is replaced by a smooth feeling of attentive watchfulness. A kind of directed, joyful intelligence like a sure presence, with an unlimited attention span. Becomes the master of many talents because of fiveish perceptivity, combined with deep fulfillment and pleasure from the experience of being fully present. Profoundly grateful for the continuing opportunity to take part in the unfolding drama of life. What a gorgeous, unpredictably fantastic world! What incredible beauty there is in even the smallest details of this universe! How excitingly alive I feel, and how at-one with the world! Let’s celebrate together the deep abundance of life and love.

Unhealthy 7w6: the search for ever-increasing levels of excitement and stimulation seems like a way out of the apparent trap of boredom and unease, but it brings only temporary relief. Maybe another kind of fun will help me avoid this increasing sense of hopeless ambivalence. Maybe I should start a new company, or have a great big party! Tries to find the answer in increasingly grand plans for great, exciting events. As the ever-growing fear and boredom keep coming back, excessive stimulation approaches dangerous levels. Without increasing awareness, this course of exciting overload leads to extreme exhaustion, and an incapacitating despairing depression. At the bottom of the scale of health, 7w6 becomes a worn-out husk, utterly debilitated by drugs, sexual excess, and general over-stimulation, and totally incapable of self-care. At every opportunity, every means available is used to provide some escape.

Healthy 7w8: settles down. Become aware of the compulsive nature of the desire for excess and learn how to moderate the constant power-trip. Finds other people are easier to get along with when they are not being pushed or receiving a hard-sell on some wild idea. Love and appreciation for subtlety become important aspects of a life that includes increasing amounts of silent, peaceful contemplation. Discovers by letting the mind’s chatter come to an end, a new level of perception emerges, with a greater understanding of how the world fits together. Instead of exploding outward into impulsive activity, 7w8 harnesses enthusiasm for practical uses. Life becomes a joyful, loving celebration. Look how much we have been given! Jump into the universe with both feet! Find your power and become what you were meant to be!

Unhealthy 7w8: gets ever-wilder. When others fail to respond with enough enthusiasm to high-pressure sales tactics, and the high of the latest exciting trip begins to wear off, it’s time for the next wild ride. Maybe just a little bigger dose will do it. New ideas seem to erase old problems, and each one is bigger and better than the last one. If it doesn’t work, forget it and move to the next grand scheme. You’ve got to try this, it’s totally fantastic! As the highs get higher, the lows scrape lower. The miserable mornings are soon forgotten, because there’s an even better high coming. Heads into ever-deeper entrapment, promising ever-greater rewards to those who will finance (or otherwise support) rapidly exploding levels of excessive indulgence. It all leads inevitably to the great crash, and utter dissipation.

#enneagram 5 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 7 #5w4 #5w6 #6w5 #6w7 #7w6 #7w8

2K notes · View notes