wishiwasnevermo

[wishiwasnevermo]

Happy genconf weekend i guess

#you gotta do what you gotta do #idk why this is so funny to me

[wishiwasnevermo]

don't worry, i'm out here counterspelling every mormon who tries to pray for you

#thank you for your contribution soldier #my grandma puts my deadname in the temple prayer roll so best of luck to you with that one

[wishiwasnevermo]

To everyone who was raised mormon - anger is not a sin. Anger is your friend.

Obviously, it has to be managed, like any emotion. Being reactive and having a temper is not healthy. But being angry is. You might have heard that a good and kind person is never angry.

Bullshit.

Anger is an internal alarm that something might be wrong. That you, someone you know, or a group as a whole are being mistreated, or at the very least, you are not satisfied with the way things are. But even being dissatisfied is called blasphemous. Nephi's brothers sure liked to "murmur", didn't they?

Why would the church call anger a sin? Anger that does not inflict physical harm on other people? Is it a sin to make other people uncomfortable with your emotions?

Yes, actually. Turn off your ability to identify mistreatment, turn off your ability to be dissatisfied with your life, and make sure everyone around you turns those off, too.

That way, the church can take 10% of all of your money and tell you to fall to the ground and kiss their feet in gratitude for it. They can force you to cut your hair before being allowed into a fun youth event. They can string you up like a fucking marionette and you'll just go limp and follow their directions, because resisting would make you a bad person.

Of course the people that tied you up would tell you that struggling is a sin.

And, even outside of the church, but ESPECIALLY in the church, people will use this idea to make themselves into the better person and place all the blame on you for THEIR actions. They will feel threatened by you being upset about things that they worked so hard to justify in their minds - but the thing is, you're angry, which means you're wrong and scary and the familiar mistreatment feels more comfortable than ever. Sometimes, people will even take the opportunity, as the clear Bigger Person in the situation, to treat you even worse, but use such calm and pacifist language that, naturally, you're the cruel and irrational one.

I made a Facebook status once telling everyone who agreed with the church's new homophobic "doctrine" to unfriend me. A cousin I never spoke to DMed me telling me that she felt like I hated her for believing in the church, and she didn't hate me for my "choice" of lifestyle, and - get this - she loved me and would therefore not unfriend me herself, I would have to do it. So she would be noble, and I would be the angry little apostate dyke. I reconnected with an old mormon friend and told her that I was hurt by her believing homophobic things, and she immediately told me that I always blew things out of proportion and got angry for no reason. My brother has been abusive to me all my life, but whenever I got upset, I was rocking the boat, or I was even worse than him for being angry at all. A friend who wasn't even mormon betrayed the fuck out of me and told me "I understand if /you/ don't want to be friends anymore," like they hadn't decided that on their own with their extremely hurtful actions. But hey, using calm and pacifist words while someone else is upset means you will always be the one being "so good about it"!

Anger is not a sin, anger is not an excuse to treat you badly. Anger is what will save you from thinking that mistreatment is justified. Practice patience with your loved ones, but be assertive. Practice forgiveness with the people you WANT to forgive. But if you wanna die mad, that's your fucking right.

Fuck this "drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" shit. Being angry and staying angry led me away from a cult, away from abuse, away from manipulative people, and gave me the courage to fight to protect my little niece in a dangerous situation.

Anger is your friend.

#this!! #important

[wishiwasnevermo]

okay every once in a while ill remember some random thing from my upbringing in the church. i don't know if anyone else heard this growing up but, in young women's, so many times when the leaders asked someone to say the prayer and no one volunteered they'd say that the more you pray the hotter your husband will be like 💀💀 hello wtf

i know lots of religions use rewards/punishments to get people to do things, but this one is just so weird to me. yeah anyone else have this experience? i wouldn't be surprised if it's common.

(also not everyone wants a husband 👀)

#mine #cult #ex cult #exlds #exmo #exmormon #tw religious mention #religious trauma

[wishiwasnevermo]

So I downloaded JW Library as I’ve always wanted to read through the Bible but audiobooks are the most accessible way for me to do so. What’s fun for me was realizing they implemented this study notes feature and I can leave comments on passages like you can on fanfics on Wattpad…

JWs are a christian fanfiction cult

#i love the fanfiction comparison #i grew up mormon ofc #the book of mormon is a self-insert bible fanfic #ex cult #cult tw #ex mormon #ex christian #tw religious mention #religious trauma

[wishiwasnevermo]

you praise the one who clipped your wings because he said he did it for your own safety

#y'all i-

[wishiwasnevermo]

why are you shocked I act like a caged animal when you’re the one who put me in the cage

#you're over here just casually spitting fire

[wishiwasnevermo]

checking the time

by Elise Letrondo

i reset my noon-stuck timepiece

and uncut my sea-wet hair

to forget this godless bargaining,

this perpetual disrepair.

the cathedral unlearned my name

and dealchemized all of my gold,

so i scrunched up my face and grieved for the waste

of the youth i spent feeling so old.

i sent god a hand-painted postcard

but after twenty years it was returned,

now my mom’s face in mine won’t fail to remind

me of the afterlives i haven’t earned.

i reset my spinning compass

and unhid my strife-won skulls;

now i relish the pain and the peaceful refrain

i can finally hear in its lulls.

#THE CATHEDRAL UNLEARNED MY NAME NHNGNGNGNGN

[wishiwasnevermo]

happy 180 year anniversary of the whole kinderhook plates thing :)

#mine #cult #ex cult #exlds #exmo #exmormon #tw religious mention #pimo #religious trauma

[wishiwasnevermo]

i want to live. i want to see this through. i want to get to a day where i’m doing more than surviving.

#😔

[wishiwasnevermo]

"Sister - - - - , I received your letter and wanted to let you know first and foremost you're amazing. My kids adore you and none of this changes that or your place in our hearts. Secondly, the Lord strictly values each and every one of His children's agency, a whole war was fought over being able to keep agency and He sacrificed His only begotten Son so we could have it. He will never take that gift from you and as His servant neither will I. So, your request will be processed as quickly as I can get it done but I do need to verify that this is your desire and also that you understands the eternal and far reaching effects of this decision. I will ask you a number of questions. I invite you to pray one more time about this decision for I know with all my heart Christ lives and He is coming again. One day we will stand face to face with Him. This is His church. The Holy Ghost witnessed that to me again just this weekend. This is true.

To prove my desire is to honor your request, you may answer the questions with a single one word text "yes" after your prayerful consideration if that is easiest. Once I receive that I will know you wrote the letter, you understand the decision and consequences and you desire me to proceed.

1. I do need to verify it was you that wrote the letter and this is your desire.

2. You understand this will remove your sealing to your mother, father, grandparents, siblings and to Christ and the Father (see Elder Bednar, A Welding Link) and you will have no claim on the Celestial kingdom (John 3:5).

3. You will no longer have the protection, guidance, help, and comfort of the gift of the Holy Ghost (Mosiah 18, see also gospel topics Holy Ghost).

4. You alluded to church discipline. You understand that there is nothing in your life right now that would bring on you a membership council. That is reserved for severe sins such as murder, rape, abuse, apostasy, adultery (of this is a true concern of yours please see General Handbook Ch. 32). You have a gentle disposition and it is not in your nature to commit such. Under the direction of the spirit those who are striving to live the commandments even with various gender identities and homosexual tendencies can be worthy of a temple recommend if they strive to live the commandments (do not have to be perfect) the same as a single member must strive to keep the law of chastity too though they may have strong temptations to break it. The Lord asked the same standard of all his children. I don't think church membership councils are a concern for you. 3/4th of our ward are inactive. They do not live all the commandments. They are good people doing their best to be Christlike. They just aren't committed to church and they do break some of the commandments. Doesn't mean they will be "disciplined" by the church.

5. You understand that if you were simply to choose to be "inactive" the worst thing that would probably happen is 5-6 times a year some terrified ward member might show up at your house and say hello, drop off food, or invite you to something. It is easy to ease their fears, thank them in a Christlike way, but simply tell them you're not interested right now. In my mind this makes more sense than complete membership withdrawal. You will be loved, prayed for and ministered too. You still have complete control of what you do or say yes/no to. You keep the gift of the Holy Ghost which is part of the presence of God and your eternal family sealing remains intact, that being said, you choose membership removal rather than being inactive? My favorite less active person in our ward is Bro. - - - - . Each time I have been there he is so kind to me. Offers me a drink. We have great conversations. I asked if he would like help coming back to church with love and a smile he said, "No. oh. Thank you. No. We are good here right now." His love and gratitude that I made an effort on his behalf were sincere. I've gone over several times. He's a great man and I've him. He simply has no desire to attend church right now.

6. You understand even with membership removal you may come to any church any time in the future no strings attached (see 2 Ne. 26:33). You are welcome any time. And always have a place both at church and at the - - - - home. The first step back is a prayer and feasting on the Book of Mormon every day looking for what it teaches about Christ and then trying to incorporate that into your life. That is the way back to Him (1 Nephi 8, 15:24).

7. You understand that the Lord always loves you. He always wants you back and He can heal, change, forgive, and help you through anything and everything (Luke 1:39; 3 Ne. 9:13-15).

In closing, there are a few leaving Jesus and His church right now. It is not new. There is a lesson and a challenge I give you. These words may not mean much today, but 26 years from now they will sink deeply into your heart. When that day comes remember the way home is daily feasting on the Book of Mormon looking for Christ in the pages and then trying to do what He does. Using the Iron Rod in that way the mists of darkness will be dispelled all doubt departs. There in that sacred space of belonging is only Jesus and peace. I give you this future promise as your bishop and friend. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Again, your agency will be 100% honored. A single text "yes" will let me know the letter was from you, you understand the eternal consequences, and you want me to proceed. If I receive that I will proceed this week getting things to the Stake President, who will get things to the First Presidency. I also leave my sore open to you with or without membership. I do counsel non-members from time to time. If I can help in anyway, decision on college, marriage, job, where to live, questions. If I can ever help your service to my little ones and family earns you an open door any time. All my love, faith, and prayers. ~Bishop

__

As I was about to send I got on my knees one more time to ask the Lord if I had captured His words or if He would have me change/add/remove anything. He said, "Please tell her how much I love her." "

Exmormons im in a mood so: most invasive thing a missionary or home teacher evwr did /said to you.(or any mmeber of thr church but i got a specific story for both of these.) Ill go first.:

The missionaries called me and asked kf they coukd come over. While hslf of my family had covid and so everyonenwas under quarntine u til we figured out kf we had it. And when i ajd no they continued to ask and because i wanted them to fuck off i explaind the situstjon and they STILL WANTED TO COME VISIT. no!

And plenty of rins missionaries have popped by unnanounced.

And rhen some homenteachers i keot blowing off during the point ibwas questioning thr church and going through some personal stuff a bit unrelated(i was not okay and did not need added stress.) Corned me during chuch like "hey ca you sljnfkr a few minhtrs since yiure so busy" like fine. But like i wasnt BUSY i was AVOIDING you.

Im sure everyone else has better storjes.

Oh and there was that one tine the youbg womebs leader used my disability that inwas keeping ashiddennas i could as inspirwtion porn, thus oitting me as disabled in a context id managed to hide it some.

#i don't have any big examples but just like continuing to text me after i left the church #or heart attacking my door #stuff like that #OH i just remembered my stupid ass bishop sent this long condescending text to me after i sent the resignation email ill post it here #but yeah in my letter i explicitly said not to try to convince me and that i will not change my mind #so that was inappropriate and disrespectful #mine

[wishiwasnevermo]

Fellow exmormons. Did you ever have an issue withbthe missionaries not understanding this little thing called a reasonable bedtime? Bc when they text me kts always at like 9 pm. Like ill half ass a conversation with you to appease my family i still live with because fine but 9 pm is TOO LATE to be texting anyonr you are a barely a mere aquantince of. Like do they not understand boundaries?

#LITERALLY #my missionaries JUST texted me at like 8:45 #like im gonna be civil with them about it bc missionaries don't really know/it's not their fault but like #man what are you doing?

[wishiwasnevermo]

i think it’s very easy to either dismiss mormons as annoying missionaries who won’t leave you alone or as like a quirky wacky group with weird underwear, but otherwise harmless, but like. they have such a long history of being horrible towards black people, horrible towards native americans, and horrible towards women. all of this continues to this day. this isn’t even going into the homophobia and transphobia like every single lgbt exmormon i know has come out of it traumatized. but while the mormon church’s treatment of lgbt people grabs the most headlines it doesn’t even scratch the surface of their abuse towards their own members and neighboring nonmembers alike.

[wishiwasnevermo]

i’ve been thinking about how mormonism made me hate my body because i was a female. i was an early bloomer and had curves in middle school. i felt like that was a sin because the modesty talks were so focused on covering feminine bodies and not masculine bodies. like no cleavage, no tight clothing, etc... i thought my body was the problem, and i was condemned for simply being a female.

#yes me too 😔

[wishiwasnevermo]

Part 2 of Mormon Reviews!

This time we’re looking at the Book of Mormon on Amazon, and oh boy is there a lot of content here

#i am SOBBING #💀💀

[wishiwasnevermo]

The masculine urge to have elaborate fantasies/fears about becoming a child martyr during your church's youth ministries

[wishiwasnevermo]

Here you go again, folding others into you

As you hope and pray that the others become displaced

You’re obsessed, you track them down, you silence them

In the name of love you ask them to all put on one face

Selling solutions for the problem you made

Becoming as vultures at the sight of our pain

And you ask us for your trust but

Your toys are broken boys

And I don’t wanna pretend to be OK when you’re around

#SELLING SOLUTIONS FOR THE PROBLEMS YOU MADE #THAT WENT SO FUCKING HARD