wolfpackshenanigans

[wolfpackshenanigans]

Tuscan police when a third of global disappearances is linked to tourists in Volterra:

[wolfpackshenanigans]

jake finding out that bella was planning to get dicked down by edward on their honeymoon

[wolfpackshenanigans]

“The Cullens. They kinda keep to themselves.”

[wolfpackshenanigans]

The packs reaction to you sending them a dirty pic while you’re sitting next to them:

SAM- *Can’t stop smiling and looking over at you*

JARED- *whispers* “I’m telling your parents.”

PAUL- *Saves to camera roll & makes you sit on his lap to cover his excitement*

JACOB- *leans back, and starts to sweat heavily*

QUIL- *pretends he didn’t see it, but you catch him constantly looking back at the text*

EMBRY- *Screams out loud and covers his mouth*

SETH- *deletes the entire text convo so no one can ever see the pic*

LEAH- *texts back*- Meet me in the bathroom in 5

[wolfpackshenanigans]

What kind of hell existence is it where you can’t cry??? Smeyer what the fuck?

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AS IF YOU COULD OUTRUN ME!

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maybe instead of the wolf pack always being shirtless because they cant control their phasing its because their S/O and/or imprints keep stealing their shirts and hoodies. like everyone’s like ‘oh yeah paul the hothead has no clothes because he cant control his phasing’ and hes like uh sure thats why but really his S/O has a hoarded collection of his stuff because it reminds them of him when hes out on long patrols and the hoodies are warm and smell like him. 

leah on the other hand everyone knows she can control her phasing so when she starts wearing the same outfit everyday everyone is like ???? and they they see her gf wearing Leah’s favorite flannel around and everyone suddenly realizes that Leah is going through the same thing as them with their S/O stealing their stuff

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I realize it’s 2AM, but go follow me on TikTok! @teamtwilight4life 💕

[wolfpackshenanigans]

“y’know how quileutes are supposedly descended from wolves?”

“wolves, like real wolves?”

“i just examined the body”

“he died?

“even if i am damned, regardless”

“damned... like... like, hell?”

“harry clearwater had a heart attack”

“is he ok”

bella with some great questions

[wolfpackshenanigans]

As someone who who deals with self image problems at a young age I find the white beauty narrative or the whiter your skin makes your beautiful is very disgusting to me

You’re right, it is disgusting. White/light skin ≠ the only kind of beautiful. Relating this to twilight, it’s a heavy issue. The vampires (even non white vampires) become white (or whiter if they’re white) after they’ve turned and it’s definitely pushed that vampire beauty is the most beautiful, magical, and humanly unattainable beauty..... aka whiteness is the most beautiful. No thanks! I don’t agree with that and if you think for 5 seconds before you write snd publish anything, you’d understand “hey, maybe this is problematic and harmful to depict the peak of beauty as whiteness in young adult literature” but unfortunately that wasn’t thought about.

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Why did SM make the Cullens so wasteful I mean, driving super fast sports cars, Alice throwing out entire wardrobes regularly, buying and making an entire restaurants worth of food for one human, getting new shit all the time, traveling via plane to other continents when they can run and swim faster than almost all living animals, wasting all that time playing the stock market when they’re already so rich they’ll be fine until the earth implodes, and devouring endless animals in very delicate ecosystems rather than like buying a cow every once in a while. Like they are the epitome of wasteful wealth hoarding BS and I hate it

[wolfpackshenanigans]

not to be salty on main but the way some of y’all be so quick to want to write out jasper “empath” hale being the youngest major of an army that actively supported the enslavement of black people than to acknowledge how insanely racist it was for meyer to play the “native boy assaults white girl and the white saviors get his ass for it” trope with jake and that the main reason ppl fw with seth so much (and shit on leah) is bc of his lack of response to the shit the cullens pull like-

[wolfpackshenanigans]

Embry: Sam is choking, I need to call 911 but the 9 button isn’t working!

Seth: Turn it upside down and use the 6!

Embry: Genius!

Sam: *stops chocking momentarily* What the fuck. 

#source: ??? #incorrect twilight quotes #twilight #incorrect wolfpack quotes #wolfpack #seth clearwater #embry call #sam uley #sam twilight #twilight embry #seth twilight #twilight saga #twilight renessaince

[wolfpackshenanigans]

Seth: Drinking water with a minty mouth is like the cold version of spicy.

Leah, trying not to get attacked by a vampire: This is a battle. We are in a BATTLE. Shouldn't you be thinking about other things?

Jared: But is he wrong? 

#source: tumblr #incorrect twilight quotes #incorrect quotes #twilight #incorrect wolfpack quotes #wolfpack #twilight wolf pack #seth clearwater #seth twilight #seth is baby #jared twilight #leah clearwater #twilight Jared #twilight leah #twilight new moon #twilight eclipse

[wolfpackshenanigans]

the wolf pack as my favorite joke format (part 4):

leah:

jacob:

embry:

quil:

seth:

sam:

jared:

paul:

part 1

part 2

part 3

[wolfpackshenanigans]

Carlisle, explaining to the kids why they're going back to high school: now bear in mind-

Emmett: oh trust me, it is

[wolfpackshenanigans]

the only thing bella should’ve left that damn island with is a yeast infection from fucking in the gd ocean