xlostxgirlxoxo

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“Listen to the wind it talks. Listen to the silence it speaks. Listen to your heart it knows.”

— Native American Proverb

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

I wish you fucked up.

I wish you kissed my best friend.

I wish you went behind my back and did formidable things.

Maybe then it wouldn’t be my fault we’re in this mess.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“I want excitement; and I don’t care what form it takes or what I pay for it, so long as it makes my heart beat.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

and in the end, you became what i cried about instead of who i cried to.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Realizing I still have some growing to do and to unlearn my toxic traits not just to be a good partner but also just to be a better person is one of the biggest and hardest lesson I’ve learned this year so far.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Sometimes I need you so much. I don't know why there seems to be a black hole that opens inside my chest, a tightness in my throat that won't leave, this burning in my blood that screams your name.

e.v.e.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“You don’t know distance until you’ve shared your bed with someone who’s falling out of love with you.”

— Beau Taplin

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“Alone, and not alone. Severed, but not adrift. There were too many lives tangled up in hers. Too many people to care about, and once again, she didn’t know whether to stay or to run”

— V. E. Schwab, A Conjuring of Light

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

I break the ice

So they don't see my size

And I have to be nice

Or I'll be the next punchline

I'm just the best friend in Hollywood movies

Who only exist to continue the story

The girl gets the guy while I'm standing off-screen

So I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief

Can't be too loud

Can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud

Can't think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

I say I'm okay

'Cause they wouldn't care anyway

And I could try to explain

But my efforts in vain

They can't relate to how I've-

Drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors

If that's what it took for me to look in the mirror

I've done every diet to make me look thinner

So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior?

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud and

Can't think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

It's funny when I think a guy likes me

And it's funny when I'm the one who says, "Let's go to eat"

It's funny when I'm asked to go out on Halloween

Dresses and thigh highs, while I hide my body

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna miss me?

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud and

Can't think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

I've drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

— Trista Mateer ,“I Still Forget We’re Not Even Friends”

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Im trying, I know I am. Infact.. I'm trying the hardest I've ever had in a very long time.

I know I still have a long way to go still, I know I must stay on track as best as I can, in order to regain what I had lost for a long while. . Love, understanding, trust, patience and consistency.

I know Im broken, but please, let me repair myself, so I can strong enough for the world again.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Dann, I can’t wait for the season.

No but you don't understand this is his face when Penelope tells him she's the laughingstock of the entire ton and of course she never expected him to court her. This boy just got this heart broken because THAT'S HIS FRIEND. That's his FRIEND, more than anything else, and he does not see her in the way that she sees herself (he's not fully ready to truly see her yet) but he is CERTAIN she is miles above the rest of the entire bloody ton and that she does not see it herself BREAKS HIS HEART.

AND she is clearly in pain now and THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN DO BECAUSE HE WAS A PART OF IT. He had promised to take care of her, to "always look after her" and HE DIDN'T. He loves her (just how much he loves her he is not ready to realise yet) and he has let HER down. She was the only person who truly saw him as a separate person from his million siblings and he was never "another bridgerton" to her, and like we talk about Compass!Colin and how he ALWAYS sees Penelope, but he DIDN'T SEE HER, not when it mattered and HE BROKE HER HEART. That's the face of a man who knows he has become no better than the Fifes or Cressidas of the Ton and the BOY IS DISTRAUGHT.

Now excuse me while I go throw myself off of a cliff.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

I feel lonely. My hearth is empty and my stomach full of pain.

I wanna cry. I wanna cry so badly but my cheeks stay dry.

I wanna scream. I can hear it in my head but it won’t come out.

I try to do everything right but everything gets bad over time.

It’s like I’m cursed. I cursed myself.

#selfhate #lost #life #thoughts #happy #my thoughts #thought #trauma #fighting myself #cry #crying #alone #lonely #unhappy #im lost #pls help #I wanna scream #silence

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

~ In my head ~

breathing heavy on my shoulder

and I'm trying to fake it

but there's no way to escape it

buried underneath the noises

~ In my head ~

there's a million little voices

saying, "You'll never make it

and there's no way to escape it"

~ In my head ~

#Mike shinoda #In my head #Lyric #Lyrik #Mike shinoda in my head #In my head lyrik #Hits to close to home #To close to home #What ever

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

I don’t know man :/ i think I’m just tired of being me