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1bluedtagon · 4 years

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Not to return

(short story by Theodore heart ❤️)

If your reading this then I have already set out. I'm on my way to a new spot. One where I am not going to tell you about. Not in person anyway. I plan on traveling the world. Maybe have a few more adventures before I decide to settle down.

Maybe when I do it will be next to a lake. With a field full of fruit trees. With one a peach tree on drop of a hill. They were our favorite. One with a heart view. Where I can watch the sunset over the lake every day.

A place I can write you. While humming a tune. Telling you all about what I've done, and where I've been. Knowing you would read every word just to poke fun at me. Giving you ammo to use against me when we meet again.

I often wonder how long that will be. If you will look the same. If I will look to different. You use to say that we would go to the same place. I can't help but wonder if you would make it a happy place like you did before.

Knowing what was present before. The thought that you wouldn't be able to only makes me chuckle. The saying "To pig headed for anyone to handle." Ringing in my ears.

The knowledge of what has transpired is still so haunting. The fact that you were capable of doing it. My head is still having trouble comprehending your actions.

Leaving me with the question. The simple one of why? You always seemed so happy. The weight of the world so easy to carry. Had I known our time was so limited. I would have given you this band sooner. Binding our souls sooner rather than later.

Instead you decide to leave early. To leave and not return. Leaving questions behind. Leaving a cold hole where you once resided. Now all that is left is the memories.

Memories that in time will fade. Causing an ache that I wish not to deal with. One I will have to deal with eventually. Leaving only The ink of the pictures I have with you. Ones already unable to satisfy my want.

My wants to hear your voice. To smell the soap you use. To feel the warmth from your skin. All of these things however are not to return. Now I leave our home.

The place reminded me of you. Some days some much that it's hard to breathe. I panicked over breaking a glass you picked out. Things are so hard here. I will keep it for the day I may be able to handle it, But for now I am simply leaving a sing not to return.

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1bluedtagon · 4 years

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Hauntingly nice

(Chapter :2 first touch)

As I stared at the new person in front of me. I knew this is who they were meant to be. Something in the way that they now held themselves made me believe it. As they went to retrieve the items that had fallen off the night stand it all seemed as if they flowed without effort for the first time.

The form before me was unlike any other I had encountered in my life. Certainly not in my death. The sunflower color just seemed to reinvigorate Shaun. His new self was the person they wanted to be all this time. I heard him in a high voice start to talk to the cat.

"you know what Savana? I ought to put you in the corner for being so naughty." The savanna just purred and rubbed up against the girls legs. "Oh. You know just how to say sorry and butter me up don't you." She said with a sigh as she picked up the cat stroking her fur. She then headed to the den to sit in the favored reading spot with cat in hand.

"so my furry love. What shall we read today?" She said as she perused her collection of leather clad adventures. "Should it be pirates? How about a story of romance?" She stated a different them over each book her hand fell on. "Oh I know. How about we reread that poor old copy of the man in the iron mask?" The cat meowed in agreement from it's resting place as, I entered the den to watch with wonder at my friend's new look.

She returned to her spot next to the cat and proceeds to reread the certain book once again. Her focus on the book. Reading every word as if it where the first time. The way she turned the pages. Feeling every inch of the paper. The type of feeling you get when you truly love books.

She remained this way till the sun started to set. The light colors of the sky finally catching her attention. "Oh geez is it really this late. Savanna why didn't you tell me it was getting so late." She said as she scratched the cats head. Who the responded by yawning and stretching out to curl back into a sleeping ball. "Ok guess it's time to cook supper." She says as she marks her place with a bookmark and stands up.

As sh makes her way to the kitchen she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. her face turning red as she realizes that she was still in her beautiful golden dress. "Oh now I've gone and done it. If father could see me now. he would be so disappointed. I should go take this off." She says as she starts to slowly walk in defeat to her room. In that moment I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

As she walked I couldn't help myself from tearing up. "How can you feel this way? You were so confident. You were so strong a moment ago. Who has done this to you? Your so beautiful don't let them win." With every word I felt more and more frustrated as she walked away from me. "You shouldn't have to feel this way. As I punched at the wall. Even knowing that I can do nothing but faze through it. Only this time my hand stopped. It stopped with a very soft thud. One so light you wouldn't have even noticed it if you weren't the one doing it.

In shock I tried again. Unfortunately this was the only time it worked. Every other time my hand slipped right on by every thing. I couldn't even comprehend why this has happened to this once but not a second. I continued for another 10 minutes. The whole time the cat sat and stared at me. By the time I stopped shuan had exited his room. Back in the drab Grays and blacks of his usual wear. He started to make his dinner. As he did I simply sat on the counter next to them in defeat. Contemplating on how I could help them. All the while my heart aching from the pain I had just witnessed.

#lgbtq #gay #trans #want #hurt #ghost #haunting #cat #short story #chapter two #unedited #hantingly nice #pride

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1bluedtagon · 4 years

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Who We Want to Be. (Theodore Heart)

As I lay here, I can't help but think. If every thing I want to be. Of who I could be. All of the things I want to do with my life. Things that may seem crazy at first when you hear them.

They seem so far away. As if they were running away from me. However this is supposed to be the time I make my move as a person to be successful. So then why are my goals so out of reach? Pushing and pulling at me to not take the chance.

Yet I can't help but feel as if I am trapped in the same cycle as everyone. Though knowing I want so much more. the cage that society has placed us in. The shackles of the system to feed only the rich. It has caused something to awaken inside me.

I feel as if a hunger in me has stirred up. Now fighting with me to ither follow my dreams or to die. For there is no other option with the monsters inside. A beast wanting to growing full of rage. Something that is driving me to follow what I want in life. I feel it, Now more than ever.

that I have no where else to turn. all the other roads have lead me to cities made of tin that will hold no value for me. With signs and cliffs everywhere I look.

Telling me that to get anywhere i will have to jump. That if my faith is strong enough the leap will not be far. If I have wings they will finally let me soar.

if I fall from my jump then I will simply have to climb my cliff again to see how far the fall is the next time. So I spread my wings with the mind set that If I fall. Then at least I will have fallen attempting to fly.

That my story may finally have a bookmark that I am happy with. That I may finally make something of myself. That I may inspire the next dreamer to start with their broken wings. To be who they want to be.

#dream #hope #wants #future #fuck it #why not #might as well #stuff #night time thoughts #who i want to be

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1bluedtagon · 4 years

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Hauntingly nice

(Short story idea) (chapter:1)(just sort of liked this one and want to expand)

I use to be so lonely in this house. Now I know what you are thinking. Well why havent you left then. That's because I cant. I'm sort of dead. By that I mean I'm all the way dead. However I came back. Just as a ghost.

Now I'm tired to my house.That means I'm kinda trapped here. Hard to make friends when you cant leave. Or be seen. Or heard. Or anything really. That's an entirely separate matter though. I use to be a young lady. My name use to be Sally.

When I was Sally. Well I mean I guess I still am. Just the Sally who is now a ghost. When I was alive. I had long blonde hair. My favorite color was and still is yellow. I loved the smell of lemons and Rose's. My favorite hobby was Reading in a comfy sweater. If I could on a nice sunny patch on my hard wood floors. I miss doing things like that.

Things that I can no longer enjoy. No one really tells you the things you will miss when they are gone kind of thing. That list is always longer than you think. That being said however. the thing I miss most would be having someone to talk to. Being dead is a lonely business. You cant really fix that. Only try to supplement what you can.

Talk to animals and people. Though none respond most of the time. Some just run when you get close. People use to come see the house and I would pretend they were old friends. Come to visit and talk with them grieving a tour of the place. They always left so soon though. That is till someone bought the place.

This nice young man just moved into my old home. I dont mind. He is very tidy. I have come to learn his name is shawn. He is very thin. Petite almost. He has beautiful red hair that comes down to about his shoulders. He is rather short. The only reason I know he is a he is an accidental bathroom indecent. Now I avoid certain rooms. Otherwise I could have mistaken him as a girl.

I have come to know a lot about Shaun since he moved in. He seems to be a lot like me. Hes quite. He also has his own book obsession. He enjoys reading when there is music playing in the background. I sometimes read over his shoulder. He reads a lot of poetry. Drinks tea that smells of roses. With just a hint of honey and lemon. He keeps a small window garden where he grows the most beautiful flowers. He also feeds the birds in the front yard. Even the crows. He seems lonely. So he talks to them and his cat.

If I were alive I believe that me and this guy could have been great friends. To bad we didn't meet sooner. He seems he could use a friend. He seemed to like his new home. However he never really seemes to feel quite at home. Like something is bothering him. I never knew what it was though.

That is till One day as I was floating back by from a nice sunny window i like to frequent. I notice he had a gotten a box in the mail. He usually orders new books or teas. So I thought nothing of it. However he didn't open it right up like he usually does. It sat there unopened. That is until he got back from his errands. He sat down in front of the box. Debating if he should open it. As if it could potentially hold all the evils of the world in it. Finally he opened the box and pulled out a beautiful yellow sun dress.

This struck me as odd. Trying to find reason for it. I thought it was a gift for someone. Maybe my roommate Shaun had a girlfriend I didn't know about.

That didn't seem likely though. Shaun didn't really leave the house. He also hardly ever had company. Maybe it was for his mom or sister. Though he never seemed to have family over ither.

All I know is before I could thin to hard about it. he picked up the box and took it into his room. Hiding it before I could see. With no other choice. I let it go and went about my haunting as usual. Quite ghost like. that way i didn't desturbe anyone. I talked to the cat. (He purrs and likes to follow me around so I like him)

Then one day I was flying by Shaun's room. I noticed his door was open. I dont usually go in there. Keeping his privacy and all. How ever today I notice he had several beautiful dresses laid out on his bed. With some one standing at the mirror wearing a sunflower yellow one.

At first I thought it to be an intruder. I wasnt about to let someone pilfer my roommates stuff if I could help it. So I flew in there full if vigor only to remember that I am just a ghost. I couldn't really do anything. I was going to try none the less.

In a desperate attempt I summoned all of my energy and slapped at the night stand to do absolutely anything. I was unsuccessful. Not even a rolled pen. Just then the cat hopped to the night stand and knocked over the lamp that was setting on it.

That is when I got my first good look at The person who I thought was a young lady. She turned around. I couldn't help but think They were the most breathtaking thing I had ever seen. (Ha ha ghost pun.) But as I was admiring this person. Standing before me. For The way her hair fell into place. The way her blue eyes sparkled. The way she seemed to be as comfortable and confident in this dress. A sudden realization swept over me. The person standing in front of me was none other than shaun.

#stort story #lgbtq #writing #idea #random #start #new #adventure #love #true self #first #first story

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1bluedtagon · 4 years

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Cold Ideas

(Short story. Random idea.)

LOG:[2315] It's been years since this winter started. A never ending sea of snow. That rained down upon us without any real warning. The most common of ideas at the time was it would be over in a week or two. Now so cold hell looks like a heated spa day in comparison. Now our food stores are running low. To cold to grow anything above ground like this. It's no longer safe to go outside to look for more anyways. Not that anything would be left. People are growing more hungry and angry every day. Most are to weak to do anything about it anymore. We are running out of ideas. While the rich have sealed themselves away behind a thick heated door. Leaveing the rest of us to figure it out. If we dont think if something soon who knows what will happen. I'll get back to you when things start to calm down.

LOG:[2316] the people around me in the slums have been talking. Whispers of things that... that chilled my soul more than the fu#$ing ice ever has. These are the rantings of desperate and dying men. They cant be serious though. Just old cold bones making everyone a bit crazy. For now things seem to have calmed down. Let's hope it stays that way. For a while at least. I'll update if things change.

LOG:[2320] it's happened. Oh god. What have they done. Please for... (data corrupted)

LOG:[2325] they have run out of... (corrupt data) now they have set their eyes to the vault. They have gathered as a mob. Each carrying something to pry open the doors or worse. (Corrupt data) I know it won't be long before they get that door open. I just pray that you... (corrupt data) please be safe. They are getting violent again. They have the door open. They have caught a woman. (Corrupt data) god. They (corrupt data) I could do anything. Please if your getting this send help.

Log:[2335] I fear this will be my last entry. They have caught me. The sick bastards have said that since I went do there sin I am a traitor. That (missing data). Now they have locked me in a cage near the doors. I feel frost bite setting in. They are staring at me. Waiting. The sick f#@ks to afraid to do it them selves. Now I'm stareing at a never ending sea of snow. Thinking on how many years it's been. Since the snow set in.(corrupt data)

It was only supposed to be a couple of weeks. Now its crept up on us with no real warning. (Corrupt data) I'll update you when things calm down a bit.

#horror #future #implied #reward #haunting #nature #story #short story #story time #spy #first horror #strange #ideas #strange ideas

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1bluedtagon · 4 years

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Art's Fire

Have you ever felt a burning in your soul? One so strong you believe that it will consume you. Fires of passion In most cases. The start of a single spark can often light up our whole world. As if the drumbeat of our calling is pulling so hard at our souls that it hurts. The burns we acquire a simple side effect that we begin to crave. For when we feel that burning it let's us know we aren't completely cold and vacant inside. The need to create something that will long out live us is so natural to the ones who make that we cant help but March ever forward in an unknowing direction. Guided by only the faint sparks we picked up along the way. In a desperate need to set them ablaze in a raging all consuming blaze. On bright enough that it will be seen from the Hevans. To let the rest of the universe know that we will no longer sit aside and let the conversation of souls continue without our input. To make art is to breathe a breath you didn't know you were starving for. To make art is to be a healer of souls. To make art is to be human. Art is the light most feel calling. A spark of a flame that will feel consuming. A burning in the soul if the giants we want to be. Art the warmest flame we can make.

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