catindabag - Tumblr blog

catindabag · 1 month

Note

What happens when crazy old lady Lucy Gray and Katniss meet each other will they have some kind of singing of test like the rainbow songbird vs the mockingjay and in the zoo is there at least one rabid raccoon squirrel hybrid living there now

Oh, Panem, Horn of Plenty! Katniss “Nepo Baby” Everdeen will literally bow down before Lucy Gray and her grumpy husband, Panini Panlo when D12’s local ✨girl on fire✨ finally meets them in person.

Also, Panini Panlo will probably scold Katniss for stealing her little sister’s only opportunity to compete in Panemvision. #justice4Prim #primcansingbetterthantheswamppotato #antivolunteer #fightforbuttercuprights

At least poor Peeta can finally learn how to bake “real” bread from Peepaw Pan Pan and crazy old lady Sheaf the Chief.

As for the rabid raccoons and feral squirrels, they’re still the sacred creatures of the Capitol (and all of Panem after Felix Ravinstill became the “regent” President). So by law, it’s illegal to cage, hunt, and/or kill them no matter what they do to you or your family. Moreover, the rabid raccoons are also being protected by the Ravinstill Capitol Act 7070.

However, R.C.A 7070 does not apply to those who officially identify themselves as wannabe “werewolves” (Nero Price and Brandy) because of the ongoing controversial feud between the two groups.

Lastly, as for the Capitol Zoo, it’s now fixed and running like a real “functioning” zoo since Gaius Breen became the head of his family.

And as long as you ignore the ✨Bichon Frisé Puppy Paradise Enclosure✨, it’s totally worth your time and money.😉

25 notes · View notes

catindabag · 1 month

Note

How would it go if Lysistrata (the local deffo not crack dealer) met the Mayor of 9 with his ”sugar powder”?

Both of them will most likely go to jail for illegally committing “you know what” in broad daylight, but only one of them will be released/bailed out from prison/juvenile jail the next day.

Yes, of course, Felix, Coryo, Sejanus, and Festus will bail their bestie Lizzie Vickers out the next day before Mommy Anderson’s annoying ✨Capitol News Crew✨ comes in.

They’ll also leave a feral rabid raccoon as a gift for the D9 mayor in order to replace Lizzie as his new “honorary jail cell roommate” because Sheaf and Panini Panlo told them to.

17 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Note

So how is Haymitch in your AU like what he does he do now like is he dramatic and crazy beer lover or just a what is going on with my life wanting normal again beer lover and is he in a relationship with his his mentor or Effie or both or is he still single and has he met Reaper and Clemmie yet and join the praying for normalcy club

Haymitch is very happy and very chill in my tbosas on crack!au. I mean, he did win Panemvision and became that year’s ✨Star of Panem✨ along with his very eccentric Mentor, Cassius Perseus Plinth-Snow-Creed-Price (the oldest grandson of Sejanus, Coryo, Festus, and Persephone).

So yeah, Mr. Abernathy is quite rich, popular, and happy. I mean, his family and girlfriend (now wife in Katniss Everdeen’s timeline) are also well-off and living their best selling illegal alcohol and coal with the “help” of crazy old lady Maude Ivory.

Moreover, Haymitch is good friends with Cassius Perseus P.S.C.P and Lycaon Lysander Vickers (the oldest grandson of Lysistrata Vickers).

Nevertheless, our three idiots (H.C.L) became certified drinking buddies after a very drunk Haymitch Abernathy won Panemvision (yes, he was drunk when he performed on stage) and “defeated” Maysilee Donner and her Capitol Mentor, Critonius Dovecote (the youngest son of Clemensia Dovecote).

On the other hand, Effie Trinket is still an official escort but she works under the Ring Twins (and their children and grandchildren) as a pajama onesie model.

Unfortunately, Reaper and Clemensia are not friends with Haymitch because they were aggressively rooting (and secretly sponsoring) for Critonius and Maysilee to win Panemvision and the ✨Star of Panem✨ title at that time. . . and because Haymitch does not fit their “normalcy” criteria. So that’s that.😌

PS: This is basically Reaper Ash every time he sees Haymitch, Cassius, and Lycaon getting drunk together and having fun:

23 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Note

Is in your Au does all the shows shown in Panem always end up in things getting destroyed, set on fire, people crying and being completely dramatic or all of the above

All of the above. No questions asked.

Besides, it’s part of the infamous ✨Capitol Showbiz Culture✨.

You can’t go viral on television without a little bit of “destructive dramatic flare” on set, ya know.😉

Unfortunately Fortunately, Lucky Flickerman and his weird talking bird (Jubilee) secretly love and support the chaos on set.

Meanwhile, overworked, underpaid, stressed, and depressed Lepidus Malmsey is just trying his best to survive the day.🥲

At least their most popular shows have rich AF sponsors. . . I mean, who wouldn’t want Mama Cardew, Mrs. “Blackmail” Anderson, Mayor Boa Bell (the cat), Strabo Plinth, old President Gran Gran, Vice President Mommy Ravinstill, Mama Monty, and creepy Mr. Heavensbee Sr. as their “honored” sponsors, right? right?!?!?!🙃

14 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Note

Does Coryo calls himself or gets called the cabbage man or cabbage baby of Panem sometimes

Everyone (and I mean everyone from Corso to the Presidential Palace) knows that General Crassus “the ever gorgeous” Xanthos Snow’s only beloved son is the Capitol’s craziest and infamous (for dating Seji Pie, the local bread throwing menace) ✨Cabbage Boy Dealer✨ in the weird history of Panem. . . just like how everyone knows that weird Tigris Snow is the neighborhood’s “favorite” ✨Cheese Addict✨, just because she buys steals blue cheese from the local Iphigenia Moss grocery stores every day after work.

So yeah! Most people (especially Coryo’s wacky friends and sugar daddy boyfriend) call him “Cabbage Boy” (for fun) and he doesn’t really care because he did bought, traded, and resold a lot of cabbages (at the black market) even after the war ended.🥬

18 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Text

Don’t forget crazy Lucy Gray, old scheming Strabo Plinth, Bichon Frisé obsessed President Ravinstill, Dumpster Diver Festus Creed, Super Sensitive Felix, Homeless Hilarius Heavensbee, and ✨Drouge Deleure Lysistrata Vickers✨!😂

i’ve been thinking about dimension travel between book!tbosas and @catindabag’s tbosas on crack au-

like,, book!clemensia and tbosas-on-crack!clemensia swapping places seems like the best case scenario. book!clemensia doesn’t have the years of dealing with her classmates’ chaos, but she was the normal one anyway. meanwhile, toc!clemensia is throughly weirded out by her classmates being normal- yeah, she’s hoped they would be normal, but there’s something unsettling about everyone she’s known to have lost their absolute marbles acting so…average

it’s pretty fun thinking about how other swaps might go, like sejanus. book!sejanus suddenly finding himself as coryo’s sugar daddy and finance is one thing, but toc!sejanus “no one talk to my snow bae” plinth and book!coriolanus “i only tolerate him he’s district” snow sounds like a recipe for disaster. toc!sejanus being the clingiest person in existence while book!coryo is just in a perpetual state of “wtf is going on”. book!sejanus and toc!clemensia gaining solidarity (“you’re way to normal to be sejanus” “thanks? i think??”)

highbottom would also be another trainwreck swap- book!coriolanus doesn’t know what to make of being stuck between toc!sejanus (“snow bae :D”) and toc!highbottom (“#crasca4ever”)

27 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Note

In your Au in the future who is Katniss Nepo Baby Everdeen mentor who is also her duet for her performance is it Haymitch, Effie or is it a capitol student a descendant of Sejanus and Coryo and what is Katniss usually like other than being way happier and pretty much getting everything she ever wanted and needed

Oh, Panem, Horn of Plenty. The crack!AU Everdeen timeline is gonna be a mess.😂

Fortunately, Katniss “Nepo Baby” Everdeen is not gonna be like her super famous crazy singing rainbow bird grand aunt (Lucy Gray) because our ✨Girl on Fire✨ will have the same serious personality as her canon self.

But she’s also going to volunteer steal poor little Prim’s spot (out of spite and for fun) as D12’s official ✨Panemvision Female Tribute✨💅.

Unfortunately, Catnip’s greatest rivals will be Glimmer (D1’s youngest and fairest opera singer), Cato (D2’s hottest theatre nerd and rock whispering prodigy) and Clove (D2’s youngest broadway musical genius).

Moreover, Peeta Mellark (who whistles like a pro) will be Katniss Everdeen’s official “duet partner” because her extremely gorgeous Capitol Mentor, Seginus Cadmus Plinth-Snow-Creed-Price (AKA: the gorgeous grandson of Coryo, Sejanus, Festus, and Persephone) got stuck in a dusty broom closet with poor sensitive Philip Anthony Ravinstill-Anderson (AKA: the wacky socialite grandson of Felix and Androcles).😅

Nevertheless, here are some other interesting “facts” in this weird timeline:

1. Primrose and Buttercup (the crusty cat) are the unapologetically ruthless founders and leaders of the infamous Anti-Katniss Everdeen Fan Club. #antivolunteer #realroseofD12

2. Poor Peeta had to fight a jealous Gale Hawthorne (via dance off battle) in order to defend his “rights” as D12’s official male Tribute for the upcoming Panemvision competition.

3. Crazy Lucy Gray married Panini Panlo for fun. She also had a lot of kids with him for fun.

4. Coryo and President Sejanus are still madly in love with each other even after the birth of their 35th grandchild.😍😂

5. Hilarius Heavensbee is the favorite nanny of Sejanus and Coryo’s grandchildren.

6. Glimmer is a very popular opera singer in D1 because of Facet and Velvereen’s influence.

7. Rue can’t sing to save her life because of Reaper Ash (but don’t ask why).😔

8. Foxface is the “Hannah Montana” of her District.

9. Brandy is still a self proclaimed werewolf.

10. Sejanus is still the President of Panem because of Coryo, Festus, Lizzie, Felix, and Clemmie’s collective insistence. #SejiPieforlife

11. Tigris is still a fashionista cheese merchant.

12. Mizzen the Gremlin and Percy Price are still the ruthless rulers of their Pizza Palace Empire.

13. Festus Creed still dumpster dives with Coryo and Pup for fun.

14. Effie Trinket is half Ravinstill.

15. Haymitch Abernathy’s Capitol Mentor, Cassius Perseus Plinth-Snow-Creed-Price is the oldest grandson of Sejanus, Coryo, Festus, and Persephone.

16. Finnick Odair’s Capitol Mentor, Faustina Pleione Creed-Price is the youngest daughter of Festus and Persephone.

17. Lysistrata is still the proud leader of the SnowPlinth Fan Club.

18. Dill is still the Mayor of D11.

19. Reaper Ash is still looking for “normalcy.”

20. Lamina is still crying because of Lucy Gray, Coral, and Mizzen.

21. Half of Sejanus and Coryo’s children and grandchildren have “Complete Heterochromia” for some reason (one blue, one brown).

22. The Plinth-Snow Dynasty is still the most powerful and influential family in Panem thanks to old scheming Strabo and the Grandma’am.

23. Mags and Mizzen are cousins.

24. Maude Ivory is still busy selling and reselling popcorn balls with Mrs. Everdeen (illegally).

25. One of Sejanus and Coryo’s gorgeous sons (Cepheus) married Panlo and Lucy Gray’s youngest daughter (Poppy) because of ✨love✨ political reasons.😏

24 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Note

Does Panem in your Au have a some sort of Miss Panem and is Coryo one of the contestants and also the undisputed winner of every single pageant ever in Panem thanks to his incredibly super biased loving president husband

Yes, the Capitol has ✨Miss Panem✨ since forever. And Crassus Xanthos Snow is the famous/infamous “back to back” winner of his generation.😌💅

Unfortunately, Coryo Snow can’t compete for the ✨Miss Panem Crown✨ because Vice President Ravinstill (the scary mother of Felix) and Mama Cardew banned our poor cabbage boy from the competition.😭

However, the “Snow Ban” was finally lifted when Class President Felix Ravinstill became the “temporary regent of Panem” after his crazy Gran Gran and mother ended up in the hospital because they accidentally ate one of Mama Monty’s accursed cupcakes.😔

PS: Strabo Plinth became one of the biggest sponsors in the competition after the end of the infamous “Snow Ban” because of his past romantic relationship with his beloved Crassus.

Also, Dean Casca Highbottom grudgingly became one of the judges in order to combat the “power” of Coryo Snow’s divine beauty.

But don’t worry, folks! Sejanus and Lysistrata are also one of the judges for some reason.😂

29 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Text

Snow lands on top but not in bed.😉

Oh! I– 😳😳😳

#crack post #crack ship #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #tbosas #snowjanus #snowplinth #ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #behind the scenes

169 notes · View notes

catindabag · 2 months

Text

“Coryo trips and accidentally kisses the rich sad boi, bro!” said a drunk buddy of mine.

no need for them to be standing dick to dick like that

NOW KISS

#tbosas #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #snowjanus #snowplinth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes

510 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

Someone needs to write this Snowjanus fic lmao

#tbosas #snowjanus #snowplinth #crack post #crack ship #make this a fic #lol #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes

227 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

True. Lol.

get a room！

#tbosas #snowjanus #snowplinth #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes

613 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

This is basically Coryo and Sejanus in my crazy Tbosas on Crack!AU. Lol.

Sugar baby Coryo Snow strikes again!

And sugar daddy Sejanus Plinth be like:

75 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

TBOSAS on Crack short take (78)

Hilarius: So. . . How’s it been-

Wovey: Pie?🥺

Hilarius: Too expensive.

Wovey: But you’re rich!

Hilarius: I wish.

Wovey: Useless.

Hilarius: I’m not-

Wovey: Loser.

Hilarius: Wovey, that’s mean!😭

Wovey: Reaper told me to say that.

Hilarius: Reaper the farmer?!

Reaper: I did not!

Wovey: He also taught me a lot of swear words last night.

Reaper: She’s clearly lying! I’m a decent older brother!

Dill: Doubt.

Reaper: Shut up, Dill!

Bobbin: Reaper, how could you?! She’s just a kid, you farmer!

Reaper: It was Brandy!

Brandy: *jumps out of nowhere* Yes! It was I! Brandy Sharp Candy!

Reaper: See!

Brandy: Now give me your ugly ass shoes, farmer!

Reaper: Ew. Get away from me.

Brandy: Give. Shoes. Now.

Reaper: Be gone, werewolf!

Brandy: *turns to Hilarius* Yo, funny man, toss me your shiny clown shoes right now!

Hilarius: Are you going to bite, chew, and eat them?

Brandy: Duh.

Hilarius: No.

Brandy: Coward!

Hilarius: I’m not-

Brandy: A disowned crybaby clown!

Hilarius: Class Pres! Class Pres, Brandy is bullying me again!😭

Felix: That’s not my problem.

Hilarius: Felix Ravinstill!

Felix: I’m busy!

Hilarius: No, you’re not! You’re literally playing UNO with Coryo, Seji Pie, Panlo, Dill, and Birdy!

Lucy Gray: *randomly slams a card on the floor* UNO! I win again!

Panlo: What?! How?!

Lucy Gray: I’m the best.😌

Dill: You’re the worst.

Lucy Gray: Pay up, Dilly Doll!

Dill: Heck, no! You were cheating!

Lucy Gray: Oh, was I?😏

Sejanus: Dill’s right. You keep hiding your cards under your dress.

Lucy Gray: Jealous?

Sejanus: No, I’m not single.

Dill: Burn.

Lucy Gray: How dare you say that to the Amazing Lucy Gray?!

Sejanus: Coryo and I are married!

Coryo: We’re engaged.

Lucy Gray: Oh, yeah?! Panini Panlo and I are getting married too!

Sejanus: When?

Lucy Gray: After the games!

Panlo: Ew. No. I don’t even know you that much, Birdy.

Lucy Gray: See! My Pablo loves me!

Panlo: Over my stale bread!

Lucy Gray: Pablo, kiss me!😘

Panlo: I’m not kissing a bird!

Lucy Gray: I can sing.

Panlo: So?

Lucy Gray: I’m a rainbow baby.

Dill: Baird, shut up. You’re not even that special.

Lucy Gray: That’s incorrect.😌💅

Dill: You’re incorrect.

Lucy Gray: I’m Covey.

Dill: That doesn’t make sense.

Felix: What’s a Covey?

Coryo: Forest hippies.

Felix: Oh, that explains a lot.

Lucy Gray: I’m the special one, you hear! I’m the singing rainbow bird! I’m the Amazing Lucy Gray Baird!

Reaper: Amazing my ass.🙄

Lucy Gray: And I can fly!

Panlo: Oh, I really wish you can, Baird.

Lucy Gray: Can what?

Panlo: Fly like a bird.

Lucy Gray: Oh, Pablo, you’re so sweet and romantic!🥰

Panlo: I really really wish you can fly far far away from me.

Reaper: I concur.

Lucy Gray: Pablo, why?!😭

Dill: I hope my District sees this.

Hilarius: Don’t worry, Dilly Doll. I’m recording this.

Dill: Nice.

Lucy Gray: I can talk to trees too!

Reaper: That’s not special. Lamina and lumberjack can do that.

Lamina: I can?!

Reaper: That was a joke.

Lamina: I can’t?! *starts crying*

Lucy Gray: I- I can also summon a flock of fat flamingos!

Reaper: Then do it!

Lucy Gray: I’m tired.

Reaper: That’s what I thought.

Lucy Gray: I- I- Well, you’re just a weird loser looking farmer!

Reaper: F*ck you!

Coryo: *slams a wild card* UNO! I win! I win! Snow lands on top!

Sejanus: Oh, my love, my Snow Angel, you’re the best!

Coryo: Of course I am, Babe.

Sejanus: Kiss?😘

Coryo: Later.

Sejanus: 50 bucks. *waves money*

Coryo: Kiss me, my love!😍

Sejanus: Yey! *makes out with Coryo in front of everyone*

Dill: Ugh. Here we go again.

Felix: *sighs* Can’t we just play UNO like normal people?

Reaper: Normal people?! Where?!

Hilarius: Can’t you guys just give poor precious Hilari some pie money already?!😭

Coryo: Precious?

Felix: Pie money?

Wovey: My money.

Hilarius: Anything for Wovey!

Wovey: That’s right!

Bobbin: That’s not fair.

Felix: What’s not fair?

Bobbin: Why does “sweet” little Wovey have her very own Capitol servant and pie money maker henchman?

Felix: So? You have the best jar of Capitol pickles.

Bobbin: But where’s my henchman?!

Felix: Ask Juno.

Bobbin: Over my dead body.

Wovey: No pie, you die.

Hilarius: Seji? Seji Pie?

Sejanus: *is still busy waving his money and making out with Coryo*

Hilarius: Mr. Plinth!

Sejanus: *throws a rock bun at Hilarius* You’re dead to me.

Hilarius: Coryo?

Coryo: I’m poor.

Hilarius: Pablo?🥺

Panlo: I’m just a sandwich maker.

Brandy: *hugs Panlo’s leg* Shoes! I want your fancy shoes, Pan Pan!

Panlo: Get off me, you werewolf!

Brandy: Never! *hugs both legs*

Panlo: Ask Reaper!

Brandy: He’s a farmer!

Panlo: So?

Brandy: He’s also mean and weird.

Lucy Gray: That’s right!

Reaper: I hate you.

Lucy Gray: I love me too.☺️

20 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

I’m back from my 2 weeks (?) break, besties!😘

My IRL work was exhausting. . .🫠

TBOSAS on Crack!AU (season 2?) will be resuming this week!

Sugar Baby Coryo, Rich Boi Seji Pie, Sensitive Felix, Lizzie Lizzie, Percy Price, Homeless Hilari, Festus Bestus, and Klepto Anderson are ready to continue their weird Paneminem adventures!

Oh, and here’s a real footage of the school’s local skirt stealer (Diana Ring) distracting crazy Dr. Gaul’s underpaid understaffed Gamemakers (again). #stalling #ringring #chickenwing

12 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

new stills! (part two).

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #snowjanus #snowplinth #snowbaird

241 notes · View notes

catindabag · 3 months

Text

Besties, my friends, my drinking buddies, the Snowjanus angst train got me good yesterday because of a really unique fanfic!😭

And now I can’t stop thinking about a very depressed and repressed prisoner!Coryo Snow.

Yes, you heard me! Prisoner. Coryo. Snow.

Also, Sejanus Plinth became a freaking D13 rebel (leader?) in this fic, and with his help, District 13 won the 2nd war, killed President Ravinstill, arrested a lot of people, and took control of the country (earlier than in canon).

And now, rebel leader!Sejanus has all the power, influence, and money (again) in the country!

Meanwhile, sad cabbage boy Coryo Snow is now rich boy Plinth’s official wife prisoner.

Yes, I’m not kidding. Coryo is now the official wife prisoner of Sejanus Plinth whether D13 likes it or not.

Think about it. Think about it! The Capitol drama! The angst! The confusion! The power imbalance!

The rebels are confused AF! The Districts are confused AF!

To sum it up, local rich rebel boy started the 2nd rebellion (earlier than in canon) so that he could imprison, date, and marry the craziest prettiest platinum blonde Head Gamemaker in the history of Panem. That’s it. That’s the story.

They be like:

Rebel: Commander Plinth, I have a question.

Sejanus: Question denied.

Rebel: Why can’t we execute the pretty blonde Head Gamemaker again?

Sejanus: Because he’s my wife.

Rebel: Your what?

Sejanus: Coryo is my wife!

Rebel: But-

Sejanus: Go away! Coryo’s mine! He’s mine! We’re married!

Rebel: Sir!

Sejanus: He’s my prisoner! He’s my wife!

Coryo: *enters the scene wearing an expensive “kiss the cook” apron* So. . . Who wants tea?😀

Sejanus: My love!😍

Rebel: F*ck this. I’m going home.

Lol. Prisoner!Coryo and rebel!Sejanus will be living in my head rent free from now on.🥲

Here’s the fic:

turning a new shade of red by BlueFrogs

Let’s just hope that the author will continue this story. It’s quite excellent in my opinion.🥺

75 notes · View notes