nicistrying

[nicistrying]

sometimes you jus gotta 🍞🥖🥐🥞🍞🥖🥐🥞🥖🍞🥐🥞🍮🥖🍞🥞🍮🥐🍞🥖🍮🍯🥐🍞🥖🥞🥐🍯🥖🍞🍮🥞🍯🥐🥖

[nicistrying]

Add your culture/region in the tags if you want to! Anon is slavic and never knocks.

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#uk #just walk in like i own the place tbh #only v close family tho like my parents my nannas and my sisters #anyone else i'd knock

[nicistrying]

Mon 29th April

Back to work today, feeling fresher after a restful weekend

Got up early to walk Mags,we didn't see any of her friends today but we did see lots of deer

Worked at home - v busy today but Matt made me lunch and a cup of tea so we could have an hour together on my break 🥺

Worked out - just a quick back & bis workout bc I didn't have much time before dinner

Office day tomorrow so early night tonight

#monday #fitblr #personal #health blog #fitness blog #workout #fitness #health #home workout

[nicistrying]

[nicistrying]

I did NOT want to get out of bed today you guys. It’s a combo of things. A pile if shit I know is waiting for me at work-soreness from leg day at the gym yesterday….AND

I just have some screwed up hormones and body image bullshit in my big ole head right now. It’s just messing with me.

Before rain….

I came out-no snacks or water-just planning on walking….then I remember…I am doing a 100K in September that’s going to have 6,000 feet in climbing…

Mama needs to start the hill repeat every

Freaking

Week

So I did

I power hiked up and jogged down for an hour and a half? Then I walk-jogged until the rain started-which felt amazing. I get plenty of climbing on the stairclimber at the gym-but very little down hill action.

I’ll see where I am at at the end of the week for elevation and I’ll slowly add to it each week while training for September.

Hey-if I hadn’t gone out and done the work today-I would have not found….

This amazing rock to paint a lovely landscape on!

Currently listening to this-it’s pretty informative! I may need to change some things up and ask my doctor AGAIN about HRT.

She shut me down pretty fast when I asked her about it last time.

Ahhhhhhh

Fucking Mondays 😂

Time to make the donuts

#you are such a badass

[nicistrying]

if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes

#milennial and i will do anything to avoid ironing i hate it bc im bad at it #I will only iron suits & shirts or if something is like unbearably creased

[nicistrying]

Sunday 28th April

Woke up this morning feeling much better than yesterday. No idea how or why, but I'll take it! Maybe I really did just need a quiet weekend not spent people pleasing.

Peaceful walk in the rain with my girl this morning

She was so done with me stopping to take photos. She enjoys being out in the pouring rain just about as much as I do, although today I was happy to get out despite it

Did some housework, went grocery shopping. Had eggs for lunch, like actual lunch not just a slice of toast or some biscuits - gold star for me ⭐️

Then had a cup of tea and some couch time with Mags as Matt was upstairs working on an assignment all day. And I wanted to actually enjoy sitting down watching tv and not just be doing it as a distraction from feeling sad. Started watching Fall of the House of Usher now I've finished Baby Reindeer

Finished off all the housework I wanted to get done, and finally managed to work out 🥹 Leg day since it had been raining so hard all day and I didn't fancy getting soaked in it again to go for a run

Felt so good and gave me the boost I've been needing all week. I'm pissed off that I haven't been able to make myself work out sooner but trying not to be too hard on myself bc I clearly needed some down time

Made fajitas for dinner, had a hot bath, watched an hour of tv with Matt before bed. Hoping this week will be better. Not planning to push myself too hard, just going to take each day as it comes, but I'm so grateful not to be feeling as awful as I have been. Apologies to anyone and everyone who read my rant yesterday, I know I was an asshole. Everything is fine, I just need to try to stay calm about wedding stuff. What will be will be, the world won't actually end if a few things aren't 'perfect'. And I do know that, I'm just really feeling the pressure bc it's me doing all the planning. Anyway here's to a new week ☺️

#personal #fitblr #health blog #fitness blog #workout #leg day #home workout #health #fitness #mental health #anxiety #depression #walk #Maggie

[nicistrying]

Napping with each other is bonding for me. We could sleep all day idgaf

#me and my puppy

[nicistrying]

Sat 27th April

Well I made it to the weekend although yesterday at work was kind of rough just purely from an anxiety point of view

Got up early to walk Maggie, I needed to get outside. Was a beautiful morning but still v chilly

Matt's mam text him at 7.30am asking to meet us for a walk. I said please no, I've set myself a boundary that I just want one fucking quiet weekend. But they did need to drop his bday presents off. Turned out later that they couldn't meet us for a walk as they needed to help a friend get a tractor out of the mud, thank god, but they came round to 'drop the presents off' and they were here for over an hour. Interrograting about the wedding, wanting us to invite more of their family as a couple of people can't make it etc , bearing in mind I have already ordered place settings and am about to order the table plan so I don't want the guest list to change. Matt said we may invite my maid of honour's parents and his mam came back with 'well they're not really important are they' like excuse me they literally took me in when my mam kicked me out at 16. They took such good care of me when I was in a shitty place. Fuck you 'they're not important'. Now I want to invite them just out of spite.

So that pissed me off straight away. Then it was 'let's get these pies in your freezer, oh god your freezer is so disorganised, the whole thing needs sorted out' like ok i'm sorry I didn't have time to reorganise the fucking freezer on my cleaning spree before you arrived, trying to not give you anything about the house to complain about.

'When are you going to do the escape room with your brothers why are you so disorganised' we're fucking busy! In the next 2 months, we have 3 weekends free and that's before Matt takes his shifts at work for June.

Like please, make me feel even more shit! Please do that! I really need that right now! Just say one fucking nice thing, would that actually kill you?? I complimented his mam's hair and she just went 'meh I don't like it they cut it too short' Just say thank you! Jesus christ

I'm seriously losing patience with them. They seem so pissed that we actually spend time with my family occasionally, as if we should spend every spare second with them. Like no, there are two people in this relationship and we both have family to see. Our entire existence does not revolve around you

Had a nap when they left (it was 11am lmao) and we went for a walk in a park where we used to live and it was lovely and nostalgic. Pets' Corner was open so we went to see the animals - billy goats, pygmy goats, ducks, rabbits, guinea pigs, guinea fowl, lots of sweet little birds, and a beautiful peacock and peahen. This dude was looking particularly handsome today

We got ice creams, and had a lovely walk. I started getting mega anxious on the way back to the car thinking wtf am I going to do when we get home and Matt has to go work on his assignment.. turns out I'm sitting in my pyjamas feeling gross and irritable and sad. He wants us both to go walk Mags but I need to just sit here and decompress I think

#not doing good yall #personal #mental health #family #in-laws #kinda hate them atm ngl #nic's wedding #wish we had eloped #saved ourselves 20K and just fucked off to a hill in scotland to get married alone #too late now #anxiety #sad #idk if im depressed enough to tag depression how sad is that #ugh #walk #Maggie

[nicistrying]

Matt: How are you feeling how's your anxiety today?

Me: Oh I'm fine just still v overwhelmed and a bit paranoid and had a minor anxiety attack at work but luckily the guy I was sitting with was really lovely about it and just joked about it with me all day. Idk I just feel so sleepy though and have no appetite and feel slightly nauseous all the time, can't fall asleep at night despite being exhausted, absolutely no interest in exercising though I've been trying to get myself to work out all week and still haven't. The dishes have been sat soaking for an hour and I can't bring myself to go and wash them.

Matt:

Me: oh fuck I think I'm depressed

This has literally been me (although mostly undereating bc no interest in food) the past couple of weeks and I somehow didn't put 2 and 2 together

#not sure what to even do with this hypothesis tbh #i think im just generally v overwhelmed theres so much going on #im hoping i can start doing things to help me feel better this weekend bc i have no plans #other than to see my godson on sunday #other than that the plan is just 100% self care and rest #it was just funny saying all these things out loud and being like hm that sounds familiar #personal #mental health #struggling #except this time i know i #'ll be okay #which is v comforting

[nicistrying]

james clear

#needed to see this today

[nicistrying]

I was supposed to go to bed an hour ago but she jumped up from her nap and got up here to cuddle with me so I just can't move

#personal #snuggles #Maggie #puppy

[nicistrying]

Ellen Knudsen Glacier National Park 2023

[nicistrying]

Knew I was due a mental breakdown. Just absolutely broke down sobbing so hard I've given myself a splitting headache. Calling in sick tomorrow bc fuck this

#personal #nic has a breakdown #im not even 100% sure whats wrong with me but i havent been right for weeks tbh #just kept forcing myself up and out bc i thought that was the right thing to make myself stronger #guess not

[nicistrying]

Monday 22nd April

Guess who woke up and had a panic attack through the night like it's 2018 again! It was horrible. It's been actual years since I had a proper panic attack where I've felt like I was going to pass out. But at least I know it was bc I was stressing so much about my sister. Matt walked Maggie for me this morning so I could catch up on some sleep which I really needed.

Worked from home today, managed to work out on my lunch break! Just a quick core workout but it made such a difference to get it done through the day.

Coach Maggie ready to help as always

Had some leftover tofu 'keema' for lunch, was going to share some fruit with Mags but she wouldn't have it bc the apple was slightly brown from having been chopped earlier. So more for me 😌

She's a cute office buddy though

Walked her after work, made a big batch of bolognese, bath, Fallout, bed. Maggie spent her evening hanging out the back door, just watching the world go by 🥺

And now we are snuggling before bed while Matt makes his lunch for tomorrow. I am sooo grateful to have so much time to spend with my girl these days ❤️

#fitblr #personal #health blog #fitness blog #workout #core #health #fitness #active fitblr #personal fitblr #Maggie

[nicistrying]

[nicistrying]

"if I'm not sexy to 90 percent of the population, that's okay because the other 10 percent's gonna have a great time"

#god i fucking love Whoopi Goldberg #love her even more now after watching this #saying that on tv in the 80s! what a fucking legend