selcouth2003

[selcouth2003]

There is so much I want to write about him but there are not enough words in the world to describe this feeling

[selcouth2003]

I fucking love her!!!!

Let's talk about the self help pandemic, why it's ruining your life & what to do instead.

Ill say at least 3 out of 5 people that I've talked to within the mentorship brackets has told me something within the radius of [I know what to do but I can't bring myself to do it, so I gave up]. The information is available to me, yes, but putting it into action is something of a dream, I can't seem to do it. At least consistently. And this, I'll confidently say this does make people depressed because the hopelessness of having information that's useless to you when you so badly need it. The 'I don't know what else to do I've read all the books' is , even as a listener, one of the most painful experiences. It's 'I've tried all the medications I could but am still sick, so I've given up' and most people do understandably give up. Understandably.

This will be a lengthy post - bear with me. I know your dopamine receptors are fried and you have the focus cycle of an infant goldfish but try. This might just be the most important thing I'll ever tell you, bear with me. Power through it, yes? Try.

In this post I explained, albeit extremely shabbily why the mode of consumption is more important that the content being consumed. I don't want to talk about it since I already did but I know we are lazy and passive scrollers and children that expect to be spoonfed so ill do it, because its important to me that you learn and even with no discipline whatsoever i still love yall.

Honey listen, when you want to use a computer or machine or anything really, you study it, right? First, do that for yourself- you're a human being learn how human beings are evolutionarily and biologically programmed to work and save yourself the exhaustion of trying to figure it out trial and error when the information is so readily available- neuroscience, evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, psychology. All one Google search away.

Learning by information exchange either verbally or through writing, to the human species, is so new. This is purely homo sapien sapien behavior our earlier ancestors didnt have that, and hss are literal toddlers, and even to us reading writing classrooms etc are like what? Less than 10,000 years old? Out of millions?. if human evolution is a day learning by information exchange is like max an hour old. Before that- and this is the natural way of learning from each other- was observation and apprenticeship. The things that required, doing- hunting gathering metalworks etc - were taught by apprenticeship & observation. Things that require, knowing- medicine mapping geography etc were done by information exchange, back then cave paintings. All these years later we are still using the same brain- which is to say till date, the things that require doing (chemistry physics biology woodwork theater etc) you're taught in action, apprenticeship and observation (labs and workshops) and the things that require, knowing, you're taught sitting in class through information exchange (history, religion, language, grammar, etc) . Natural order.

Where does self help come in? Most of the things you're trying to learn by information exchange you're supposed to learn by apprenticeship and observation. Habits, systems, any HOW TO X- its not working because you're not supposed to learn it /that way/. The method of consumption is more important than the content of consumption. You take your air through your nose, your food through your mouth, your sound through your ears. Yes sometimes you can breathe through your mouth but it's not sustainable & if done for long periods of time you will have some doctors appointments to set. Yes sometimes in rare medical conditions they push pipes into your nose to help you feed but you can't sustain that longterm. It can be done- shortterm, like that one extremely productive week you had after reading atomic habits & then just. Crashed. Why, because the method of consumption didn't make it longterm. The method of consumption is more important than the content being consumed. Food is good but through your nose?

The books aren't working because they're teaching action through information exchange darling that's not how it works. Action based things are learned in community through observation and apprenticeship. There's so much research on this you couldn't read it all if you wanted. You want to be productive? Hang out with productive people and you have to be another level of lazy to not immediately be sucked in. A satanic level of lazy. You want to set new habits? Hang around people with those habits & form community with them, subconsciously you're bound to pick them up. You want better conversation skills? Talk to & listen to people that are confident and articulate and use the jargon see how long it takes you to get there.

You are where you are because the people you've formed community with + your current systems support this. You're not lazy, you're just observing & naturally being an apprentice of this. You have no choice. This is your nature.

The books won't help you don't bother. The videos are worse, the aesthetic keeps you hooked,the views provide social proof and the editing is curated gambling style, it keeps you hooked to the end- give up visual media. I am begging you, to give up visual media, please. So much of stimulation is visual, so much- I am literally begging, you- again- to give up visual media. Especially short form highly edited content. If there's a lot of music angles scenes colors aesthetics going on that change every two seconds please give it up. On my knees here, please.

This is why I don't make "how to" posts, even if you ask- how many of those have you rebblogged? If I were to go through your profile rn, how many? And, are they working? Can you confidently tell me yes ma'am after I read this I've been consistently doing it and my life has actually changed? Convince me it worked, go on. My dms are open don't be shy. Go on.

Self help isn't working because you're a social species you're meant to be and function in a tribe herd pack social group whatever you want to call it. Self? No, no Self, group. We heal in groups. Any "monk mode" "dissappear for a month" whatever bullshit is a contest creator monetizing their platform by selling attention grabbing content its complete bullshit- isolation & loneliness is the source of your problems. Social species. Social. "Self help" takes away the social aspect so its a flop.

Change your community. Change your systems.

Pay that 40$ to join that online community of women on the same path as you, it's more worth it than another self help book that'll work for a week then crash. Take a risk and talk to the class topper, get rejected find another equally productive group. Get out of your damn room , go to places where the people that do that thing you're trying to do meet, wear your big girl pants and make friends. Observation and apprenticeship. Volunteer, anything. That's, that's how you learn. That's how you grow. Community- observation & inevitably, apprenticeship.

Even more importantly please stop with the books & videos & podcasts & blog posts & pins on HOW TO, they won't work, you're information hoarding and it's costing you. The only thing you learn with information exchange are things that require knowing so maybe psychology sociology politics Finance etc so some Robert Greene, Robert Kiyosaki some Jordan Peterson Andrew Huberman might work but please not visual media, Spotify is free. The problem with information hoarding is 1. You can not process that much information? Like what do you expect a brain meant for something as simple as surviving the rainforests to do with politics? And 2. You kill your confidence. Every time you know [how to] but can't bring yourself to [actually do it] your self belief self esteem confidence takes a hit and you edge towards helplessness & hopelessness so you fall into apathy and social justice and manifesting to try survive. Please don't, okay? Don't.

Community. Systems.

This is the /only/ way.

BMAC

[selcouth2003]

Death's Game

Pt. 2

#deaths game #kdrama #korean #shows #watchlist #positivity

[selcouth2003]

Death's Game

Pt. 1

To be continued...

#deaths game #kdrama #watchlist #to watch #korean #netflix #mastermind

[selcouth2003]

The best monologue ever!

Barbie ( the movie) reminds me of my childhood but not as in pink and music no it reminds me of the little adorable boys that I grew up with and were friends with that suddenly stopped talking when I walked into the room . It reminds me of the first time I saw my brother look at a girl my own age and talk to her like an object and the first time I had to wear my hoodie so I don't give the boys ideas and barbie reminds me of screaming at my mom as a teenager and how much of a shitty ungrateful kid I am and barbie reminds me of the "nice guys" that feel entitled to me because they pay attention to me and I should pay them back for acknowledging me and barbie reminds me a lot of performing femininity and having to live off masculinity and barbie reminds me a lot of feminism and its relevance and barbie reminds me of the vile things men say and top it up with "that's just locker room talk" and the first time I stopped being person and became "girl".

The fact that Barbie didn't even hate Ken she just didn't love him and what did he do?? DESTROY HER ENTIRE WORLD. The fact that after getting attention ken wanted barbie to be his "long distance low maintainance girlfriend" the fact that Barbie had to apologize for "leading Ken on" when all she did was not flirt with him. The fact that critics are calling it man hating because "the men are only objects" and that's top misandry and the women don't even abuse the men. Or control them. Or r*pe them or dehumanize them they just leave them alone and that's "misandry" and the fact that men feel objectified for not having a main role even though the movie is BARBIE and Ken got an entire redemption arc and the fact that Ken doesn't even get sexualized but if this was James Bond with a hot blond bimbo to pump and dump it'd be fine.

Barbie reminds me of liberal thoughts but conservative lifestyle. It reminds me of why i will never have kids. It reminds me of feminine rage and female existence. Of things I try to overlook but still notice.

It reminds me of how much I love being a woman but my God don't I despise female fate.

[selcouth2003]

Dear Mr. Perry,

I am out of words since I heard the news. I've never felt this affected by someone's, especially a celebrity's, demise as I've felt with yours. A lot of people might be focusing on your struggles (and as much as we need to shed light on those sensitive and important matters) I will not talk about it. But I'm going to talk about the legacy you created.

Comfort character to millions, made people laugh in moments they didn't even know how to smile, being the ultimate relatable person, being a green flag before green flag was even a thing and most importantly, using your platform to help others who went through the same battle as you. You gave us a character we, and many more generations to come, will hold close to our heart. And I hope in your last moments you knew that you weren't a "blah", you were always a hoot!

Thank you for making us laugh.🌻We will try to keep it down.

Hope you're in a better place now.

P.S. I wished to see you work in Robin Williams biopic. Rest in Peace.☘️

#matthew perry #friends show #friends #chandler bing #rip #rest in peace #f.r.i.e.n.d.s

[selcouth2003]

Surfing on a new wave!🌊

Thank you so much to all the sunflowers who brought happiness in my world.🌻

More love and power to us!💗

#new beginnings #naturelovers #for artists #self exploration #self love #positivity #artists on tumblr

[selcouth2003]

Currently learning this form of acceptance. Its actually quite hard for someone like me who is either overly passionate about things or doesn't care even a single bit. But I'm on my way of self betterment, and honestly it feels so liberating.💗😌

#self care #self love #self betterment #positivity #loveyourself #love myself

[selcouth2003]

I mean, I'm the best. Its as simple as that.

[selcouth2003]

I AM THE QUEEN👸🏻

I honestly feel so awesome. I finally did it! The life I promised my younger self (so that she continues breathing), I finally made it.

I am so blessed all the time!

I am literally the queen of my industry. People adore me for who I am, I literally have the exact dream house that I once visioned! It's not a dream but my reality. I have the perfect lover; he's kind and everything sweet. My house is literally a palace of its own with the most amazing view and garden that smells like heaven.💗

I just want to thank universe for blessing me with all this power which I'm using for good and betterment of society. I also want to thank myself for believing in me.🌻

#reality #queen #queen bee #manifesation #positivity

[selcouth2003]

"Haathon mein pompom leke ladkon ke liye chilaana mera style nahi hai. Woh mere liye chilaye, seeti bajae, that's more my thing."

-Shanaya Singhania (2012)

Translation: Yelling for boys while holding pompoms in my hands isn't my style. Them yelling for me, whistling for me, that's more my thing.

I just need her wardrobe yr!

#student of the year #dharma productions #alia bhatt #karan johar #varundhawan #siddharth malhotra #Shanaya Singhania #hindi cinema #bollywood #channeling #it girl

[selcouth2003]

One day I am going to be a beautiful wife, in a happy loyal marriage, with our beautiful children, family all healthy, successful managing my own businesses because I want to and it’s my passion and still being able to cater to my successful loving beautiful man and being the best mother, driving around in my g - wagon, jetsetting off to islands, shopping when I want to, attending all of my children’s plays, getting my beauty treatments, keeping sexy for my man, maintaining faith within my family, being a philanthropist/ giving back, baking for my family, meeting up with my friends, organising events for myself and my husband’s business, investing, picking up the kids up from school in my g - wagon with my hermes bag, going Pilates on a morning after dropping off my pumpkins, going for a swim in our home pool, spending the evenings relaxing in the sauna with hubby, being able to look after my family, having great health, being a great role model, being poised and feminine, always keeping God centre, being successful, having a supportive husband, having a beautiful mansion home for my family and I, being able to have house help but being able to maintain my household.

Just a few things I look forward to in my future 🤍

#manifesting

[selcouth2003]

My relationship with men has always been top tier because I know men are smart, capable and strong willed. I have never doubted that, never will. Men are intelligent, they really are. Extra intelligent. I've sat across a man in a meeting that spun a million dollar idea on the spot and planned its execution start to end in seconds, so when a man says he can't plan a date I know he's lying. I love men too much to underestimate them.

Men are smart so I don't make excuses for them. In fact I'll even enable the completely delusional and IQ lacking stereotype that men are superior, so something about the superior part of this species lacking basic knowledge to know to respect boundaries is sus. You do know to. You're just not. Bye.

Men are smart and intelligent and superior and all that so when a man does not show up in time I block him. When a man says the slightest offensive thing I'm done. You're smart and superior you know that's offensive. Bye. When a man makes one wrong move its out. Door over there. You knew not to. If that's what the superior part of this species is like I wonder how we survived evolution.

Don't ever make excuses for men. Stop gentle parenting a whole man child into being a decent person and performingin the role he chose forhimself. Stop trying to shape and manipulate men into acting right. Stop enabling what's obviously weaponized incompetence. If he wanted to he would. Babe I watched a whole dude learn sign language because his crush had a deaf sister. Crush. CRUSH. Had a deaf SISTER. If he wanted to he would. Don't ever assume a man didn't know how to, men gain pleasure in perfection, he'd have learned to If he wanted to. Stop being his mom. He's smart enough. Stop thinking men are dumb and enabling pure laziness, that's embarrassing. Get a dog and spend your mom energy on that. If we learned to function like men in a man's world with cramps and mood swings and all and not only thrive but literally dominate he can learn to clear the table and smell good.

Don't ever make excuses for men.

Website

[selcouth2003]

Why you should go hug a tree...☘️

Nature has been here longer than us. It has been a great host by providing us with all the resources we need for survival. Unfortunately, humans have forgotten how to be good guests. But don't worry, you can still take a step towards change.

Spending time in nature, away from your devices. Doing nothing and just glancing at the green leaves and walking barefoot on wet grass has proven to be a great stress reducer. As much as we crave for love, our hosts do too. Whisper "thank you" to a tree for all that it has provided you with (food, oxygen, home for birds so that they don't house your house).

Be grateful always.💚

#trees #green aesthetic #green soul #hugatree #aesthetic #naturelovers #greenliving #green life #vegan #self love

[selcouth2003]

Just Indian Aesthetics

#indian #aestheitcs #desi tumblr #desiblr #aesthetic #saree #painting #for artists #artwork

[selcouth2003]

Can we get them together in a movie with similar aesthetic please???

#kalank #sonakshisinha #aditya roy kapur #desiblr #desi tumblr #bollywood #we want them back #petition #kaha sign karna padega batao

[selcouth2003]

Train Meet in Saathiya

#obsessed with this movie #koi kuch karo yrr #bollywood and its aaditya #soft boy era