#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-

[suncaptor]

nothing will make you sympathise with conspiracy theorist ideology more than having a seemingly rare reaction to a vaccine lmao.

#reading articles that try to falsify genuine incorrect information about the covid vaccines from 2021 is making me feel insane #'there's no way the covid vaccine can trigger an autoimmune disorder' uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH #factually extremely wrong! #they're soooo condescening too like why on EARTH do you think people who are genuinely sick or scared would believe you. #they'll be like there's no scientific evidence that anyone can be harmed by the covid vaccine <3 blatantly untrue. #I know that part of this is retrospect like obviously since more studies have come out and all #but it's infurirating bc they're from the time *I* was having those symptoms *and* telling doctors about it *and* being told the connection #to my other severe symptoms from the covid vaccine were Utterly Impossible (since proven false) and that if the symptoms WERE related #it meant i had a life threatening illness at worst and had a high chance of losing my vision at best #likeeeeeeeee #doctors still DO NOT know what the fuck they're doing do NOT trust anyone who gives ANY 100% answers #i don't know why i'm doing this i just said to stop obsessing but i'm just reading pages and articles on countering misinformation to make #sure i don't -- i want to know the conspiracy theories to recognise them immediately right #and then people are just saying bullshit to defend themselves #i mean most of the anti covid vacc people were also far right so i don't have too much sympathy for their vaccine ideology #but like. fucking hell what a way to push people into conspiracies. #you CAN'T counter misinformation by SPREADING MORE MISINFORMATION #just because it SOUNDS BETTER and MORE REASSURING to say there's not chance of harm doesn't mean you should #there's A LOW chance of harm THAT IS MUCH MUCH less high than the impacts of covid #god I'm pissed off. 2021 i was so fucking terrified of spreading this shit just by talking about my lived experiences. #to say i was not taking the pandemic seriously OR anti vax is so blatantly ridiculous considering who I am as a person but that doesn't mea #that the covid vaccine specifically didn't make me ill :////// #delete

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.

#• luna lavinchi speaking • #living with cptsd #cptsd vent #complex ptsd #diet culture trauma #monsters inside me #toxic health culture #ex vegitarian/vegan #emotional flashbacks #health documentaries #dark side of veganism #i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not #-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years- #-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the #-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say. #I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks- #-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's- #-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am- #-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this. #(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you) #tw food talk #tw diet culture #tw vent in tags #(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much) #(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me- #-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an- #-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.- #-therapist W)

[dilfth1rster]

I was wondering if you could do some smutty head cannons about Dean Winchester

Hi anon this is my first head canon like this, hope you enjoy it and if you want to further explore it, you know where to send me a request:)

Let's start with Dean is definitely a kinkyyyy himbo...

He's very dirty minded, any conversation that sparks as something a little sexual is like poking a bear with a stick. You never know what can trigger him.

I surely see him as both a dom and sub depending on a situation and or his mood. He doesn't see gender and would fuck anyone.

Nice chick in shorts a little too revealing? ... Yeah he would definitely try to hit that.

An older guy that gets a little too touchy after a couple of beers? Dean, umm- WOULD!

As of what he's into, it's a damn wide spectrum.

Starting with dress up... He loves that damn wild west cowboy shit. He loves getting in his cowboy boots and hat and a fringy jacket which also activates a dominant confident side in him.

He loves dominating and being dominated.

VERYYYY verbal whether it be about how nicely his big cock slides into you or how he degrades you and calls you his dirty cumwhore OR- how he pants in your ear while ramming into your ass with a speed of lightning.

He can NEVER decline a blowjob, he loves that shit. With him, it's more of a deepthroat or a "skullfuck" because he'd be holding you down on his wide 7 inches till u smelled the musky trimmed bush of his and later on definitely got lightheaded...

While I already mentioned his musk, I must add that his usual body smell is sweat mixed with a strong woodsy cologne and "leftover" whisky.

Dean appreciates when a lady shaves down there but he's a wild one for a hairy cunt as well as a bushy, hairy guy.

Loves high heels and "girly" accessories especially pink ones.

Is not scared nor intimidated by being called or referring to himself as Daddy.

Knows you're obsessed with his hands and loves helping you get wet by putting his chubby fingers in your mouth/throat.

DEAN WINCHESTER LOVES RISKY/OUTDOOR SEX!!!!!!! (includes public places such as dirty bar restroom which leads me to another thing that is...)

Unprotected sex. He's not friends with condoms, loves breeding you, and seeing his cum ooze out of you... and he CUMS A LOT.

He also loves getting bred by older guys(daddy issues I guess).

If you're okay with it:

He's definitely into watersports. Would love to piss on you, in his words "mark" you as his and degrade you.

Slap and choke you around(a little manhandling never hurt nobody huh?)

Make you worship his boots as a sign of your ultimate submission.

(let me include an image because it's getting hot in here...)

If it's longer than a one night stand he'd definitely want to cuckold you and make you watch as he breeds and destroys another young chick he met at the bar and brought to the motel room. Maybe if you're nice enough and behave he'll let you lick the juices off his cock after?

This man got a thing for piercings, belly button one that pops out from under your top, lip piercing or ESPECIALLY tongue and tits pierced... GOD DAMN!

Sex with him is usually fast paced(I say usually because from time to time it's not fast, IT'S DAMN RAPID)

SO... CUM-

we estabilished that mans got a breeding kink but well- Dean also loves cumming in your mouth and watching you swallow his sweet, chunky load, as well as painting your whole face in his seed.

If he's titty-fucking you he can explode directly on them.

If he's with a guy he enjoys getting bred and getting his face painted.

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT-

This guy is a goddamn foodie, he loves to eat his sweet treats like the well known pie and such... he also loves to incorporate that into sex...

making you eat the pie he just came on or stuffing pieces of it into your pussy and eating you and IT out :)

Well- I think that's it for now. I'd love to further explore some of the aspect with you all, so if you got any questions or ideas, write away in the requests in my bio :)

(I'm a new writer so if you could like and reshare or leave a comment with your thoughts I'd really appreciate that)

#dean winchester #dean winchester smut #dean winchester fanfic #deanwinchester blurb #dean winchester headcanon #dean winchester x reader #supernatural smut #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles headcanon #jensen ackles x reader #smut #male smut

[h4rring1on]

Hiii I absolutely LOVEEE ur writing. Idk if I already sent you this request and I'm sorry if I diddd.

I was wondering if you could write a steddie x reader fic where Steve and the reader go with Eddie to a deal and the buyer is rly creepy with the reader and triggers a panic attack and the boys comfort her?

pairing: steddie x reader

warnings: obvi reader is uncomfortable and a little scared, buyer is hella creepy and really pissing eddie and steve off, swearing, panic attack, the boys being sweethearts

“please eddie!” you begged

“no!” eddie denied

you and steve have been begging eddie for the past 15 minutes to let him take you two with him while he’s dealing, you both wanted to see how he does it

you even made an unfunny joke saying you wanted to learn so you could do it do

yeah that didn’t really end that well

“come on, ed. do it for the girl! don’t you see her innocent eyes?” steve said

eddie looked to you, to see you looking at him, desperation in your eyes

“nevermind” you sighed, “let’s go steve” you sadly said, holding steve’s hand and walking away

“wait” eddie groaned

you and steve secretly smiled to yourselves

and now here you were, sitting on the bench with steve and eddie, waiting for the buyer

“this is so boring” you sighed

“does usually take this long?” steve asked

“honestly—no, don’t know what’s up with this guy. he’s been acting sketchy ever since we made the deal to meet here”

suddenly, the heard rustling from the trees

“hey—whoa whoa man!” the guy said, suddenly freaking out, “those cops??”

you and steve looked at each other with a small smile

“oh nah nah, they’re with me. you got the money?” eddie said as he stood up

“yeah” he said, you stood up too and stood nearby the man

the money suddenly fell to your feet

“sorry, dropped it” the man said with a creepy smile, he kneeled down to get it, and your eyes widened when you saw him looking up your skirt

you quickly moved away instead of telling them, so they don’t worry and make a big deal about it

steve noticed you acting off, he knew something was wrong

“got a lot of money, can i buy you too?” he whispered

you looked away, pretending not to hear

“oh i get it, you’re the slut kind” he said, “the one you rent by the hour” he grabbed your butt, making you gasp and move away

oh they definitely saw this one.

“what the fuck man!” eddie yelled pushing the guy away

your heart was racing, you breathing fast, you weren’t even aware of your surroundings.

“hey hey, whoa, baby” steve said, “breath for me, it’s alright, we’re here sweet thing, take some deep breaths for me” steve guided you, distracting you from the fact that eddie was beating the shit out of that guy

“that’s good, good job. tell me, what do you see, love?” steve asked

“i see…y-you, and the um—the trees, a-and the bench” you said, trying to calm down

“good job, baby! that’s great, you’re doing great.” he smiled at you, “why don’t you tell me what you can feel?”

your breaths were suddenly louder, and tears slipped from your eyes, “hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. just take a deep breath and talk to me, babe”

you took some deep breaths, as you were doing that, eddie suddenly appeared in your view, his hands bloody

your breathing was back to the way it was before, “eddie? wh—your hands—“

“don’t mind my hands, doll. cmon, tell us what you feel, we’re right here, i promise you” eddie sajd

you nodded and tried to calm your breathing a bit, “i feel—y-you and stevie’s hands and um—i feel the j-jacket im wearing and—and…i’m sorry” you sobbed, “i’m sorry—i don’t know”

“hey, sweetheart, look at me” eddie said, “it’s okay, it’s all gonna be okay”

you slowly nodded, steve pulled your close, hugging you tight, he knew when your panic attacks happen, you usually like the comfort of being in someone’s arms

“it’s alright, babydoll” eddie kissed your head

you were slowly calming down, with steve stroking your hair, with eddie talking to you, with them both comforting you

“we’ll always protect you, baby” steve said

“always” eddie agreed

#stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie my love <3 #steve harrington x reader #steddie #steddie x reader #steve x reader x eddie #eddie x reader x steve

[alice-after-dark]

Something That Has Been Bouncing Around in My Brain

This is one of those little things that has just lived rent free in my brain ever since I saw episode 2. So from what I have seen, people generally think that Vox is a terrible toxic boss who abuses his employees. While I'm not gonna say that this is not true, the one interaction we see between him and his staff (his assistant) was very telling to me.

TW for discission of abusive work relationships, physical/mental/emotional abuse, and other canon-typical triggers.

Look at what we have seen from the Vees as bosses so far.

Valentino is highly abusive in every capacity and cruel to his employees. His employees fear him and his wrath. They are reluctant to disagree or argue with him. They don't talk back. We see this specifically with Angel Dust and Travis. Angel Dust is pretty self-explanatory, but with Travis, when Valentino says that no one cares about the script and for Angel to just improv the scene, he looks directly at Travis who looks scared shitless as he hurriedly agrees with Valentino.

Velvette is a very strict boss with high expectations and an even higher approval bar. She flat out fires someone for not meeting her standards. She is very much the boss from Devil Wears Prada. She is verbally abusive to her employees and accepts only the best of the best. I definitely think she is a better boss than Valentino, but she's also not sunshine and rainbows. She does have the benefit in her corner that she at minimum recognizes that physical abuse is counter-intuitive to her bottom line and calls Vox in for backup when Valentino is going on a rampage and harming her employees. Her employees might not be emotionally or mentally safe from her, but at minimum they are physically safe.

And Vox? Well, here's where things get interesting in my opinion. Because the only interaction we see between Vox and an employee is that employee questioning him. His assistant walks right up to him and essentially says "I have no idea what is going on" and Vox doesn't get pissed or verbally berate him or anything. He answers his question and then immediately launches into a plan and distributes marching orders. And it can't even be argued that he is controlling his temper for the media crowd because they're all so hypnotized at that moment that he is openly talking about how this is a last second bullshit plan for profit right in front of them. The point I'm trying to make is that Vox's assistant literally has no fear of questioning his boss, something that would be 100% out of the question with Valentino and Velvette. His assistant had no idea if this was a new idea or if he had just somehow let something fall through the cracks, but he felt safe enough to ask that question. Like think about it. For all the assistant knew, he could have completely dropped the ball on something that was supposed to be long in production and he still felt safe enough to bring it to Vox's attention that he didn't know what Vox was talking about. That says a lot. And in turn, Vox has zero interest in hiding that this is a last second scheme. He straight up tells his assistant as much. This tells us that, at minimum, Vox has favorites who get more privileges than others in how they can interact with him as we only see him interact with a single employee as opposed to Valentino and Velvette who interact with multiple employees.

Now, I'm not the type of analyzer to ignore the elephant in the room for the sake of my bias because frankly where is the fun in that? Something that does lend itself to the Vox being just as toxic a boss as the others is the fact that he does offer up the lowest earners to Valentino to shoot. That is definitely a shitty move. The one fact that I will point out here is that this isn't done just for shits and giggles or over a tantrum (like Valentino tearing apart Velvette's model). Vox does this in order to satiate Valentino's bloodlust and keep him from being in a bad mood, causing more collateral damage to the company (again, Velvette's model) and their image, and going after the hotel. It's a calculated move to appease Valentino. And Vox specifically goes for the people who would be the least loss to the company while they regenerate. It's still shitty to offer up your employees to get shot up like a demented carnival game, but I think it's fair to say he wouldn't have done that if Valentino wasn't being a big baby about the whole Angel Dust situation. It's not even his first go to. He plays every card to talk Valentino down first before resorting to the sacrifice of his employees when Valentino insists on being petulant about the whole thing. And what do we see? Valentino's mood abruptly goes from petulant to pleased. He is officially sated and appeased, which was Vox's goal from the beginning.

So what do I think this ultimately says about Vox as a boss? I think that he has high standards/expectations and definitely plays favorites and will absolutely throw you under the bus if it comes down to the protection of his company and image, but on average he's not a terrible boss. I think as long as you do your job, do it well, and make him money, he is perfectly fine to work with.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin velvette #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel vees #the vees #vees #alice rambles #vox's assistant #hazbin eeliot #hazbin papermint

[smuttyfang]

Judy Alvarez, Jealousy

"for a considerably less depressing one shot, a spicy chapter where Judy is pissed/jealous when a client hires V just to seduce her."

Words: 861

"So, what's this job you wouldn't tell me about over the phone?" Judy crossed her arms, leaning against the window in her apartment like she always did. She was visibly a little upset, not even turning from the window to look at you as you came inside and sat down on her couch. You never hid any jobs from her for any reason. You practically told her everything. Partly not to worry her, and partly so she could help where she could, when her skills were needed.

"Okay, so.. I just wanted to tell you in person because I know you're going to be a little upset about this." Judy turned her head toward you, scowling. The evening sunlight shining through the window lit up her colored hair to an even more intense shade.

"Just tell me, babe." You could tell she was trying to not show how she felt. She always tried to hide it when she was jealous, but she did a poor job of it.

"A client hired me to seduce her." Judy's jaw fell open. The sun then fell on her tanned skin as she walked toward you. It was always hard to take your mind off of how beautiful she was.

"You cannot be serious!" She shook her head, putting her hands on her hips and looking to the floor.

"Listen, it's not what you think-" Judy huffed at you, shaking her head even more. She started to crinkle up her nose, like she always did when she was mad. She was too cute.

"How the hell is it not what I think?!" She walked to the table in front of her couch, picking up her coffee and taking a drink.

"You think I'd take a job that required me to have sex with someone?" Judy stopped her pacing and sighed. "You know better than that, Judy." Judy took a few deep breaths before coming to sit beside of you. She finished off her coffee and sat the empty cup down on the table.

"Okay so, then.. why? What's the reason?" The concern in her eyes was now clearly visible.

"The client wants to end her marriage. Seemingly having an affair. Giving him a big last middle finger." Leaning to her, you pressed your lips lightly to hers. She tasted like coffee. Pulling away, you rubbed her cheek with your thumb. Your touch calmed her.

"She could've hired a doll to do that. Easily. A lot of them do those types of jobs." She took your hand from her cheek and intertwined her fingers in yours.

"It's.. more complicated than that. She said her husband is also trigger happy. A little crazy. She wants me to play the part of her lover, shoot the husband dead. Run off before the police show up. She still gets all of his shit, no messy divorce." You remembered your earlier conversation with the client. "Judy, she seems terrified of him."

"How do you know she won't try to get you in trouble too?" She thought for a little while. "She could just be faking all of this to turn you in and get a reward."

"Job was set up by a fixer. They trust her. Plus, like I said.. poor woman is so scared of him. You know I can read people well, and there's no way she is faking this. She said she didn't think there was any other way out. Said she was sure he would kill her if she tried to leave." Judy nodded her head, looking to the floor. "She's trapped between a rock and a hard place."

"I know better than anyone else how fucking useless calling the cops is for any reason." Your mind went back to Evelyn for a moment, remembering how unhelpful and uncaring they were when Judy called after she found her.. well.. "Calling them is pointless." She spoke with complete and utter disgust.

"Yeah.." You cleared your throat, "So, I'm telling you in person so you can come with me and help me monitor the situation. Tell me when the husband comes home. Tell me where he is in the house so I can be prepared." Placing your hand on her thigh, you gave her a gentle rub. "And, so you don't worry. For any reason." She smiled.

"I.. I know you'd never.. I know better than that." She kissed you. A hint of a little passion behind it. "I know. I just get jealous when it comes to you."

"That's why I'm telling you. Also, it's so fucking adorable how you do." Judy rolled her eyes at you. She held your face in her hands, kissing you and letting her tongue tangle and dance with yours.

"Yeah, whatever.. Let's go so we can get this over with." She stood up, holding her hand out to you and helping you up from the couch. She pulled you into her, holding your body close to hers. "When we get back though, I want to remind you that I'm yours, and you're mine. No matter what." She winked while looking into your eyes before strutting confidently to the front door. "C'mon."

Original post on AO3 if you’d like to check out my other fics there instead ❤️.

#cyberpunk 2077 #judy alvarez #Judy Alvarez x reader #fluff #fanfic #scenario #cyberpunk

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Angsty ask

the main 12

skeleton is in a park, and they get unwanted and creepy advances from some guy.

Undertale Sans - At first he uses humor to deflect their advances, but when the guy becomes aggressive, he's out of there. He doesn't have time for this.

Undertale Papyrus - He plays dumb boy to pretend he doesn't know what the guy is talking about, but that is clearly not working so he suddenly switches to serious mode and asks them to stop and leave him alone. That's surprised the guy enough to give up. He doesn't use that superpower enough.

Underswap Sans - He's more and more annoyed as the guy clearly doesn't understand he's trying to nicely reject him. After a few minutes, he's bored and leaves. If the man keeps following him, he's leading him to the police station lol.

Underswap Papyrus - He's very uncomfortable and trying to run away, but the man keeps following him. He's slowly panicking, very anxious until he spots Undyne and Alphys in the distance and literally runs to them, so happy and relieved he's not alone anymore. Alphys quickly takes things in hand from there and tell the man to piss off, before they take poor Honey in their home so he can calm down and recover from the trauma.

Underfell Sans - Red asks the man to leave a few times, more and more threatening. After that, he kicks the man in the nuts at full force and lets them cry like a baby on the floor. Maybe you'll learn your lesson next time.

Underfell Papyrus - He ignores them until it gets really annoying and he headbutts the guy without a warning, knocking them out very efficiently. Do shit, get hit. He regrets nothing.

Horrortale Sans - He growls as a warning, first almost silently, but louder and louder as the man keeps insisting. It takes all he has to not jump at their face and kill them. He's holding himself back so much he is shaking. The guy takes that as a sign he's finally submitting to him and gets really surprised when Oak pins him down on the floor and almost rips his throat open. Oak quickly leaves, scared he's going to be in trouble, but he's triggered the rest of the day. Willow is worried when he comes home very agitated and jumping at every sound.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's very uncomfortable. He doesn't like being stared at by humans, and he hates even more random humans trying to flirt with him clearly just to mock him. He tries to ignore them at first, but the more the man insists, the more poor Willow becomes distressed. After some time, he breaks down crying to the man, asking what he wants. He just wants him gone! Why can't you just leave him alone?! He needs a few hours to calm down once finally home. It's not a very good day.

Swapfell Sans - He summons a bone swords and puts them on the guy's carotide. "STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND THIS INSTANT OR YOU'RE GOING TO CRAWL HOME LIKE A WORM." "Not even a little kiss?" ... And the guy had to crawl back home, both knees broken. Great job.

Swapfell Papyrus - He plays along and flirt back before suddenly hugging the guy, screaming he's so happy he met him. He proceeds to still their wallet during the hug and then teleports away to use all their money in the nearest McDonalds. What you're going to do?Stop him? You can try!

Fellswap Gold Sans - He looks at the guy from head to toes with disdain and disgust. "SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN PIGS. I'M VEGAN." He then salutes the man and leaves like a diva, so proud of himself. If the guy keeps pushing though he will unfortunately can't stop himself from killing them, so stay away.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He starts to hyperventilate when the guy grabs his arm and tries to pull him to kiss him. Coffee struggles, more and more scared, and... Uh... Accidentally uses a blaster to make them fly ten meters away from him. He didn't plan this, but he's for sure running for his life afterward. He's never leaving his closet again.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #sans #papyrus #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

[lutawolf]

My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 6

So we begin where we left off. Everyone drugged, sleeping on the table. Let's see how much trouble Boss is going to be in.

Muffin wakes first, letting out a scream that wakes everyone else. As expected, Tew loses his shit when he realizes Guy is missing.

Wish John Lennon has Guy.

Tew tells everyone that he believes they were drugged. The guild wants to help find Guy, but Tew fights them on it because he doesn't want them to get hurt. Eventually they leave and Tew goes into find Guy mode. Both Tul and Tew feeling bad for trusting Boss.

Wow, dumbass really installed an app for Tul to find him. Which leads Tew and Tul right to Boss and Guy. They go in like badasses, showing off why Tew only needed one badass vs a whole set of henchmen.

We have a very bro moment when Tul can't keep going.

Guy wakes up and starts to flip out. We have a very villianish moment, meanwhile Boss finds Tul. And Tul goes off! Not that I blame him. Boss says he has to, which gets him punched.

Discount Lennon scares Guy into screaming for Tew. Then we switch back to Boss and Tul. Tul tells Boss that if he wants redemption, then he has to go help Tew.

And I threw up. The way that fucker started kissing on Guy. Just ewww. I'll give it to Tew, he knows Kenji's triggers. What will piss him off enough to rush into fighting. They trade the knife back and forth while fighting. Finally, when Tew gets the upper had, Kenji pulls out a gun, but he points it at Guy and shots. Boss gets in the way and saves Guy. Leaving room for Tew to attack.

Once again, Tew killed someone and gives no shits. Anti-hero, I tell you. This is made particularly clear when they both look at Boss and just leave him.

I mean, if he hadn't drugged him and taken him in the first place. He wouldn't be shot.

Guess Guy is the forgiving type because he pushes Tul to forgive Boss. Oh wow, even Tew. I mean, he is clearly doing it for Guy, but that is beside the point.

Finally, they are safe at home. Time for sexy time.

Things are not going so easily for Boss, who is trying to smooth things over for Tul. I agree Tul. When they go low, go lower.

Oh Oh, it looks like Boss made headway with that "I really do like you." He might win Tul over yet. Or not, cause home dude just pressed on that wound. Nope, no forgiveness.

Boss's lip quivers and he just looks pitiful.

Guy has a fever. Bringing out nurse Tew.

Tew remember two years previously where he was sent to collect a debt. Him and Tul pass by discount Lennon to meet the dude that has a debt to pay.

Wait! Wish John Lennon was hurt protecting Tew???

Ahhhh so he didn't originally work for Boss Daddy, but it was Tew that talked Boss Daddy into taking him on.

So what caused all this shit then? And fuck! The dick is still alive.

Didn't someone check on that? Guess not.

Guy wakes up looking for Tew and finds a lunch box instead of his lover. Kind of curious to know where he is myself. Especially since he isn't responding to Guy's text.

And it's Wahl again. So excited, yay. Insert sarcasm. Wahl is acting like nothing has changed, and Guy wants the truth. Because Wahl had previously been upset. I find Wahl sus.

Not gonna lie, the whole angle of the picture sounds more like me and my bestie.

Yeah, okay... Wish John Lennon is seriously bent in the head. A little obsessive. Are we sure he isn't harboring a secret love of Tew? The whole villain sees you through the camera and diabolical laugh was cheesy as hell.

Wahl wants to go eat with Guy, but surprisingly it's a no. Guy has finally learned to say no to Wahl. Instead, he is going to go check out his and Tew's restaurant. Wahl wants to come, but Guy says no again. Practice makes perfect!

Guy shows up to find a Business for Sale sign. Tew is pulling a gun from the freezer. He manages to hide it behind his back before Guy walks in. And Tew asks to break up. Can't say I'm shocked by this. Guy loses his shit. Tew tries to walk away but Guy chases after him. He wants some answers.

I understand why Tew is doing this, but damn. He ran Guy off by totally crushing him. Hope he is prepared to watch him run into Wahl's arms.

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Boss, you're helping that low life. WJL doesn't think that Boss Daddy has really let go of Tew.

Wahl forgot his gf's birthday. Damn, girl told of Wahl, but she isn't wrong though.

Poor guy walking through the aquarium, just reliving those memories with Tew. Is it bad that I'm hoping Wahl shows up? Yeah, I know that Wahl isn't that great and that Tew has his reasons buttttt. I still think at this moment, Tew is a bigger ass cause breaking up with him isn't going to convince WJL that he doesn't mean something to him. If nothing else, Tew won't have him close to protect him.

Guess who did show up!!! And honestly in my opinion he is really showing he is best friend material here. Okay, maybe more than best friends, with the way he is moving closer.

Ahhhh!!! I don't know what to think other than this episode was sideways. I'm still showing up for the next one, though, and all together I'm enjoying the story. How is everyone else feeling?

#tew x guy #tewguy #my dear gangster oppa #luta talks #luta talks my dear gangster oppa

[wheretheharekissesthefox]

Deep like water: Chapter 3 – Impressing Mystra

(Trigger warnings: angst, life crisis, graphic description of evil magic that tries to consume the human body, shitty goddess behaviour)

Gale grew into a dashing young man with brown shoulder-length hair, intelligent eyes, and elegant hands. He was the spitting image of his mother – and he was proud of it. A single earring in the image of Mystra's symbol dangled from his lobe.

Men and women stumbled over their own feet when looking at him, contemplating if they should ask him out for a date. Gale didn't see any of it, he had only eyes for his goddess.

But for some reason, it was very difficult to make friends. Gale didn't understand why. He tried his damn best to be friendly, polite, and courteous. The problem wasn't his behaviour though, but rather his reputation. As a prodigy of the Goddess of Magic herself, the son of Morena Dekarios, and the pupil of Elminster Aumar, people had prejudices and they started to ostracise him. Gale became isolated on the academy's campus and his knack for the Weave pissed off other students and even professors more than once.

His only friends were Tara and the Weave. He didn't really see Mystra and Elminster as his friends, but rather as his teachers. And he wasn't sure what Monty was to him. Gale liked him a lot, but he didn't know what the tiefling thought of him and in a way, that scared him. They had stopped being intimate since Mystra had taken Gale as her lover, and Gale wasn't sure what that meant for their friendship. All he knew was that it was complicated now – and he hated the thought that he'd hurt Monty with his actions. But the tiefling never said anything, always smiled at him, and was as kind as ever.

Gale wanted to be liked desperately, he tried so hard to please others, but people still walked away from him. Sometimes, Gale felt cursed.

Gale began to earn money with the help of his magic. He helped out with wrecked ships in the harbour, magically secured the merchants’ carriages against theft, and offered his services for minor evils as well.

When Morena asked about his work, he explained: "I don't heal, I don't steal your customers. "

"Waterdeep’s big enough for both of us," his mother laughed. "Even if you'd heal people, there’d still be enough work for me. – Maybe, you should specialise in healing. There's plenty of work, and you could make a difference in the world. "

Gale shook his head.

"I'm not cut out for healing. "

Morena raised her brows, but said nothing. She was aware of how stubborn her son could be. After all, that's what he got from her.

After four years of hard work, Gale had enough savings to buy a tower house for himself and Tara, right at the harbour, overlooking the sea. He secretly revelled in the thought that he shared this similarity with the grand wizard Elminster now. He felt like he was one step closer to his goal of becoming the greatest wizard Faerûn had ever known.

Over time, it became easier to be alone. Gale spent his evenings in front of the fireplace with a good glass of wine and a reading or his notebook. Tara would lie next to him and accept cuddles. She especially liked it when he ventured into poetry and wrote about the beauty of nature.

Gale went on daily strolls through the bustling streets of Waterdeep with Tara riding his shoulders. Sometimes, just for shits and giggles, he polymorphed into different people, elves, tieflings, gnomes, dwarves, whatever took his fancy that day.

The first time, he'd turned himself into a woman and twirled around his own axis to proudly present himself to Tara, she'd purred: "Oh, dear, you look like a younger version of you mother."

Blushing, Gale brushed back his wavy hair that fell down to his slim waist.

"You think so?" he asked, insecurely. His voice was a warm contralto, just like Morena's.

"Oh, yes. You're rather beautiful as a woman," the tressym nodded. "And so are you as a man. And now, scratch my chin with those deftly fingers of yours, Miss Dekarios."

Gale burst into an uncontrollable giggle fit and complied to his friend's wish.

Nobody recognised him on the streets and a poor fisherman fell down the stairs because he got so distracted by Gale's appearance.

Mystra had become his teacher, muse, and lover. Gale wanted to prove to her that he was worthy of her love and approval. He was able to manipulate magic like a skilled virtuoso plays music, and sometimes, he feared this was the only reason why Mystra kept him around. Gale begged her to give him access to higher, forbidden, levels of magic to prove his capability, but she repeatedly refused and got angry at him.

"I've shared more secrets with you than any other being before. There's no need for you to know more."

"Why not?" Gale asked, upset. "Don't I, your prodigy and Chosen, deserve the privilege to know everything? How should I become the greatest wizard Faerûn has ever known if you deny me to reach my full potential?"

Mystra looked at him, stone-faced.

"Are you questioning my decisions?"

"Well... yes."

"You're getting too recalcitrantly, Gale of Waterdeep," the Goddess of Magic replied. "Think about your actions and don't ever challenge my deeds again!"

And with that Mystra snapped her fingers and banned Gale from the Outer Planes.

He was furious and heartbroken. He didn't understand why Mystra withheld knowledge from him. Wasn't he her Chosen? Didn't she deem him worthy?

Gale decided to prove himself to Mystra, thus, he started looking for other ways to show the extent of his powers and devotion to her.

That's where the 'tome of gateways' came into play.

According to his extensive research, the ancient book contained a portion of the Astral Plane, called the 'Netherese Weave', a scrap of forbidden magic of ancient Netheril. In old texts, it was described as "a fragment of primal Weave locked out of time". Gale wanted to reunite Mystra with her missing piece of magic from which she'd been separated. This way, he'd surely win back her favour. His plan seemed fool-proof – or so he thought.

Tara was the only one privy to his plan and she wasn't amused at all.

"This seems much too dangerous," she tried to tell him. "Primal magic's not to be trifled with, Mr. Dekarios. Don't bite off more than you can chew."

"You worry too much, Tara. I can handle it, I'm Mystra's Chosen after all."

The tressym gave him a disapproving look.

"Sometimes forewarned is forearmed. What would your mother say if she knew?"

"For that very reason, she doesn't know," Gale replied. "After all, she can't stand my muse anyway. And as soon as I get the book to Mystra, I'm going to tell mom. She'll be proud of me."

"Your muse is quite demanding, you know?" sighed Tara.

"Oh, come on. She only wants what's best for me. "

"If you say so, Gale."

Finding the tome wasn't easy. It was well-hidden between time and space, but Gale was able to obtain it. It took all his powers and knowledge to open a portal between the Astral Planes. The reached location lay in ruins, crumbling stones and withered trees everywhere, and Gale shuddered as he felt the corrupt magic reach out for him. The wizard ignored his fight and flight instinct in favour of finding the tome. It was perched on a stone pedestal, humming with dark energy. With shaking hands, Gale took it and forced his way into the Outer Planes where Mystra resided.

"What are you doing here?" the goddess demanded to know. "I locked you out. You disobeyed my order."

"Forgive me, Mystra," Gale spoke quickly, "but I retrieved the 'tome of gateways' for you. The fragment of primal Weave of the Netheril that was out of your reach. For you, my Goddess, my love. To prove myself worthy to you."

"You fool!" boomed the addressed. "I showed you the secrets between the veil: gossamer veils, delicate veils, different Astral Planes, even the Outer Planes, but you're curiosity's still not sated! And now, you brought that twisted, tainted filth into my realm? How dare you!"

"But you're the Goddess of Magic! You're powerful enough to absorb this corrupted piece of Weave, no doubt!"

As Gale shouted at her, the tome in his hands started to tremble. Suddenly, the locks snapped open, revealing a black, whirling mass of magic chaos inside, instead of pages.

"You're a fool, Gale of Waterdeep and you're no longer my Chosen!"

"What? No!" Gale cried out in utter terror. "Mystra, please!"

The book in his hands exploded, blinding him. The wizard screamed as a massive source of energy clawed its way into his chest, almost as if it wanted to dig itself into his soul. The corrupted piece of Weave tried to become a part of his very being, ever-hungry, and latched onto his powers like a leech. Gale screamed for his Goddess as the black mass of pure, untamed chaos tried to rip him apart and consume him. But Mystra didn't listen to his pleas.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #fanfic #gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #morena dekarios #tara #tara the tressym #mystra #elminster #elminster aumar

[still-a-morosexual-help]

i just hope the original obm isn't forgotten in the process, what with all the new charas coming in and the development and lore of the original LIs itself being forgotten. well yes, this can be a means FOR it to work out but for some reason i can also imagine how it can end badly. guess it's just my pessimistic brain after all the disappointment i've had to experience (yet i still adore this game to pieces).

Me, who has genuinely enjoyed the main storyline so far: 😀

Like I understand people having genuine problems with the game or story or whatever but (and I've said this before) real life is hard and anxiety inducing and I'm just here to have the occassional escape from it. I don't want to be pessimistic and trigger my anxiety about things that haven't happened yet in the place I come to get away from it all.

God I've taken an antihistamine so my brain's fuzzy and groggy and words are really hard and it tooke three tries to be able to spell groggy so this might not make sense

There are actually no parts in the main storyline that I have any big issue with, I liked how season 4 focused more on the side characters while still having the main characters be involved in the story and showing off parts of their personalities as well (Lucifer being protective of Simeon and soft and sympathetic to MC, Mammon being serious about what happened to Simeon and immediately picking out Michael as the one who had done something, Asmo's entire trauma, Satan's entire trauma, Belphie trying to take something seriously and work hard for once - I have long posts about three of these but I'm too out of it to find them sorry) in my opinion they did a good job balancing it out. Though there are some events I didn't care for (the ones that jump from MC spending one chapter with each of the characters without having a real story)

But even if there was something I disliked I don't want to get stuck on it? Like I'm here ti have fun and not think about shit that pisses me off so why would I get pissed off at the game that does that yknow

Whatever happens happens yknow. 's not like you can change it so why get caught up in the details? This is one of those things where you can go with the flow and have fun and not worry about what'll happen in the future because in the end it's a game and fandom's always there to catch ya if the game disappoints

I understand if you have valid concerns or criticisms but that just ain't it for me, that is absolutely not what I'm here for

I don't know how to explain it but I don't mind discussing harder topics or things that annoy me (the whole thing when Thirteen was first introduced or the people who think Mammon steals from MC) because they're sort of outside the game (which said Thirteen is a character whether you like it or not and said as early as in Lesson 4 that Mammon doesn't steal from MC) if that makes sense? Because those things come from fandom and after discussing those things on my blog I can choose not to interact with those parts of fandom

But when it comes to parts of the game that piss me off I can't block it out so;

I'm sure there are huge parts of the fandom that feels seriously let down for valid reasons but if I felt that way I wouldn't be here? If there was a part of the game I genuinely disliked or was disappointed in - something that made me unhappy - I wouldn't be playing it because it's no fun if the place I go to get away from all those negative feelings gives me the very same negative feelings

Also, I can't speculate what the new game will be like at all and what it will do to the original, but I don't see it replicating chat, devilgram or the forward moving main storyline in the same way?

Does any of this make sense or am i just babbling rn?

Basically what I'm trying to say is, everything has pros and cons. Unfortunately I'm not here to focus on any of the cons. I'm pessimistic abojt change/scared of change enough in my real life that if I was the same here regarding things about om! or any game/movie/show/book i was interested in then i'd be miserable and it would defeat the purpose of being interested in om! (or anything else) in the first place

I feel like i repeated the same simple.poing over and over again becaise im not sure which time properly explained what I was trying to say and I couldn"t be bothered to read it all again so sorry and I'm still not sure if I said what I wanted to say? What should have been one paragraph someone became like 5 paragraphs sorry

Sorry anon I have no real insight to what you're saying other than whatever this is im gonna pass out now

#let me live in my bubble of happy ignorance pls and thank you #asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #swd obey me! #shall we date obey me

[mxniomei]

manhwa/manta comics recommendations go 🎤

FUCK YEA 5 PARAGRAPH RANT BELOW

Manta specific:

Under the Oak Tree is surprisingly good. I say that bc I honestly thought I was gonna hate Maxi bc I can't stand bumbling naïve protagonists, but she redeems herself really quickly. She's not naïve, she's traumatized, and has a lot of understandable triggers. Riftan is likable in the funniest way possible imo bc he's so Stupid like he's so scared Maxi is gonna leave he just looks goofy trying to get her to stay which I approve.

I've Become a True Villainess is a transmigration/Isekai who's protagonist, Seria Sterne, is trying to reform her image and it is so incredibly likable! Seria is refreshingly normal personality wise; she's not dumb not naïve , understands when to give up the ghost, and is just incredibly likable all around. Her relationship with Rouche is fascinating; I have a creeping suspicion that Rouche might be more of a romantic than he lets on, and it just makes their relationship kinda hilarious. Lina is a fascinating character as well, who might know more than we give her credit for. . .

Duchess Crow is my current favorite! Melisa, a 32 year old gemologist, is approached by Louis/Lewis, a 25 year old noble who asks for a contract marriage with her. Melisa is smart as a whip and has a no nonsense personality that speaks to me. She's not just the kingdoms brightest gemologist, but she's also just really good at analyzing a situation and figuring it out. Louis is severely charming to the point of pissing me off, but he's also smart and likable. However, i think Louis's most likable trait is how much he really respects Melisa. He gives her a lot of deference, clearly cares about her opinion, doesn't try to convince her he knows better-- he's genuinely collaborative with her, and knows that her intellect is greater than his in some situations, so he wants to lend her his power to be able to make her goals attainable. He also (so far!) has not pulled any asshole moves male leads are prone to in manhwa. He only ever dangles his status over her in a playful manner, and doesn't actually believe he's better or can dominate her in any way. And their story is pretty high stakes, working against a villain that's easy to love and hate.

Non Manta:

Marry My Husband is a time travel piece about a woman who's gonna get mad revenge against her boyfriend and best friend. The male lead is so pathetic meow meow and I'm obsessed with how he's obsessed with her. It's a good dramatic romp!

Beware of the Villainess is another transmigration/isekai except instead of just redeeming herself, Melissa fuckin DOMINATES the plot. She learns sword play, beats the shit out of a bunch of cunty dudes, and is my wife ! There's a wet blorbo blue haired boy, which is my favorite genre of boy, and a lot of bi vibes through out.

#Under the Oak Tree #I've Become a True Villainess #Duchess Crow #Marry My Husband #Beware of the Villainess #Manta Comics #Manhwa #THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE U ANON #post lovingly edited bc i fucked up one of the titles kdjfkdjgh

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Twenty-Four

Summer 2011

I was ducked down behind a burned out car. Joel was a few cars ahead of me, and Tess had ducked into a building nearby. We were in a fight with hunters that we ran into while out to pick up supplies Bill had left in one of the drop-off spots.

We were in a shootout with them, and it was six against three. Well, I guess it was four against three now since Joel killed two of them. Nope, now it's three against three, Tess just killed one of them. I aimed my gun at the closest one and pulled the trigger. The bullet ripped through his neck, a gurgled yell from the guy, and he fell.

I ducked back down when one of his very pissed off buddies shot at me. "You're gonna pay for that you little bitch!" If he says so. It took everything I had to convince Joel to let me come out with him and Tess and this what fucking happens. But I guess it's a good way to show him for the hundredth time that I can protect myself.

Of course, with my luck, that wasn't gonna be easy. At least not today it isn't because the other guy, the one that wasn't calling me bitch came up behind me. "Fuck!" I yelled as he slammed me up against the car, hand around my throat. My gun was knocked out of my hand when he grabbed me.

I wrapped my hands around his arm and brought my knee up into his crotch. His grip loosened as he yelled out from the pain. "Fucking bitch!" My head whipped to the side from him back-handing me across the face, knocking me to the ground. I pulled the knife I kept in my boot out before he flipped me onto my back and straddled me. I heard another gunshot and a cry indicating the other one was dead.

The guy on top of me wrapped his hands around my throat, putting all of his body weight into choking me. My vision started to blacken at the edges, the air in my lungs leaving, making them burn. I gripped my knife harder and brought it up, and stabbed it through the side of his neck. I pulled it out and did it again.

His grip loosened, and he fell to the side. All the air rushed back into my lungs at once, causing me to cough. I was covered in his blood, and my throat burned. "Fuck." I turned over, pushing up on my hands and knees. I felt someone's hands on my arms and I was yanked up to my feet. "What the fuck were you thinking!" Joel yelled, shaking me a little. I pushed him away and glared up at him. "I'm fine, thanks for asking!"

Safe House 2023

I grunted as the man in front of me slammed me back into the wall. The whole luring them up the stairs and taking them out quietly didn't go as planned. We took two of them out without any incident and then more of them showed up. Joel was downstairs fighting the ones that were left and I was up here fighting a guy at least three times my fucking size.

I had shit him a couple timed but he kept fucking coming. "I think I might just keep you alive and use you as my little fuck toy." I felt vomit rise in my throat not just because I was scared but because…ew. "Not even in your dreams!" I stabbed him in the side a few times and kicked him away from me. "Bitch! You're fucking dead!"

He was about to rush me until Ellie jumped on his back and drove her pocket knife in between his neck and shoulder. He yelled out, knocking her off of him. "Asshole!" She groaned as she got up. He turned around to go after her instead. "Dont fucking touch her!" I pulled my gun out, aimed for his head and pulled the trigger. My arm fell to my side and I slid back down to the floor. "I hate this shit."

Ellie came over and sat down beside me. "You're bleeding." I looked over at her and nodded. "Yeah, fucker cut me when he swung his knife at me. I thought I told you not to come out no matter what you heard?" She rolled her eyes, "You're welcome." I scoffed a laugh and nudged her. Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs and Joel appeared at the end of the hallway.

"You two okay?" He asked, walking over to us. He stopped, "You're bleeding." He knelt in front of me, taking my arm and looking at it. "It's nothing. Just a little cut." I pulled my arm away from him and stood back up. "So, did you get the keys to that truck?" I asked. Joel stood up, nodding his head. "Yeah, I'll go grab our stuff and we can get out of here."

"What did he do that was so bad that you left?" My head whipped to the side to look at Ellie. "Excuse me?" I asked. She looked down at her hands. "I heard you guys talking, before those assholes showed up. I'm not a deep sleeper. I heard what he said about him and Tess not being together then he asked you why you left but you didn't get the chance to tell him."

"We are not talking about this. It is none of your concern. What happened between me and Joel happened a long time ago." I stood up just as Joel was coming out of the room. We all headed downstairs and into the garage. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" The tires on the passenger side of the truck were slashed. "Son of a bitch! Someone must have come in here while I was dealing with the others in the living room."

"Great. I'm going back upstairs and getting some fucking sleep. We can leave when the sun comes up. But we all should get some sleep. Including you, Mr. Miller." I turned around and headed back upstairs. I could hear footsteps following after me along with a heavy sigh from Joel. "I'll keep watch." I spun around and looked at him with a glare.

"We can barked the fucking door. I don't need you collapsing from exhaustion!" Ellie's eyebrows raised, a smirk slowly forming. "You should listen to her. Did you see her take out that big guy?!" I collapsed onto the bed and closed my eyes. I was fucking exhausted. "Shit. Are you okay?" I hummed at Ellie's question, eyes still closed, and sleep slowly taking over.

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel and ellie #joel miller x arthur morgan #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #the last of us x you #the last of us x reader #ellie the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us #tlou x reader #tlou hbo #tlou series #tlou show #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams #joel the last of us

[katsudondom]

I need to vent, sorry

long post incoming :)

↓

Yeah, I feel that I was born in the wrong generation

And no, I don't think I'm special or anything for saying that.

Like, do people think I want to feel like an outcast whenever I'm around a group of people that are the same age as me? Because I'd trade my interests and niches any day if it meant I could finally feel what it's like to have a group of friends by my side, or a partner holding my hand.

And yes, I do have many criticisms about certain aspects of modern technology and social media, but I don't downright hate it or dismiss the good that came from modern technology/the Internet entirely. If anything, I'd love to be born when the Internet was just starting to walk, when it wasn't as popular yet and when you were considered a nerd for even owning a computer. That'd be an amazing time to be alive, until "normies" (cant find a better word sorry I know it's cringe) started making the Internet more mainstream and later on it being the #1 reason why Americans are more stupid and self-centered then ever (in my personal opinion).

I'm more so disconnected with my generation because of the culture, not modern technology.. A generation where we believe in anything without doing any research or seeing different perspectives first, a generation that's easily brainwashed into believing anything, a generation that's so sure that their opinion is right that they'll even ruin someone else's life or ridicule them into oblivion just because the other person thinks differently. That's the reason why I feel like I don't belong with my generation, not because "ew social media".

Actually, that's not the whole reason why-

I also really just love the grunge/rock culture of the 90's, and the scene/emo culture of the early 2000's. It all felt like a community back then, like wherever you were at there'd be people accepting you with open arms, no matter who you were or what you looked like, ready to have you join their clique people that just liked the same shit as you do.

Nowadays, there doesn't even feel like a community anymore, even within your own culture. Everyone's divided, everyone's prejudice, and everyone can't put their differences aside and at least co-exist with each other. This "you're with me or against me" mentality is getting old real fast. Instead, let's have thoughtful and provoking conversations with each other, instead of being quick to go on social media and wishing ill to the white kid in your History class just because he wore a red hat that you happened to disagree with.

Idk, it's all just really silly.

I was just scrolling down watching YouTube when I saw a video calling people like me who think they're in the wrong generation "annoying" and I had to vent since it actually triggered me a bit, ngl, because just by looking at the thumbnail where they put a bunch of modern technologies and had "modern" in bold letters with the word being crossed out, I knew what points they were going to make, and I just needed to vent about how not everyone who feels like an outcast is trying so hard to be different.... It's 99% the complete opposite and I just always hated that stereotype from people who obviously have it way better in life, from people who clearly don't understand what it's like to be almost invisible even when you try so hard to be liked/seen to the point where you fantasize about a time you weren't even born in because "what if?".

Shit, I'm done, needed to get that off my chest and the only way I'd feel good about it is by posting it online. Scared to put tags on this because half of the criticisms about Gen Z that I wrote about relate to about 99% of Tumblr users, so I might piss someone off but fuck it, I want my voice to be heard and no one will probably care to read this anyway.

And yes, I know there's other teens/young adults out there like me, who has the same mindset as I do. I don't think that I'm the only special snowflake that feels this way, but it's so fucking hard finding someone who sees the world the same way as I do, that it does make me feel a bit like I am the only one.

Anyway,

Goodnight 🖤

#long rant #just ignore this #i'm just so tired #honestly #born in the wrong generation #more like born in the wrong universe

[chipped-chimera]

I am ... Idk man. I'm pissed. I'm sad. I'm angry. So the Green Neon Tetras I got absolutely came down with ich and there was so much fucking conflicting information out there ... well it delayed me treating it. Heck I was trying to just be sure I was seeing what I was seeing at first.

Anyway I've lost 3. I think it might be 4 this morning. By tomorrow I suspect it'll be two more. If any manage to scrape through it'll be down to 4. If I'm lucky.

Everyone else (Corycats, Starlight Bristlenose) are fine. Though the Corycats show some signs of being itchy, nothing's become visible and they were on the tank the day I started treatment. Yeah I know, quarantine tank yadda yadda. But considering a 100ml bottle of medication costs 40 bucks and I need to use it for 14 days minimum at 4.5 mL a day - no way was I doing two tanks. It's likely I'm going to run out soon and money is tight since this decided to happen right around me replacing my HDD.

I cried when the first one died. Now I just feel ... numb. My mood has been awful, which isn't looking great for my very expensive rTMS treatment - I'm literally at halfway today. I should have seen results. Instead I'm bouncing between hating myself and angry at everything else because information is so diluted and despite researching this tank for over three months straight, trying so goddamn hard not to fuck up - I fucked up. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but a part of me deep down does. Because maybe I was too stupid to realise on such tiny fish the situation was only going to get worse faster. Then I'm angry I feel stupid because the information isn't clear, or that I feel stupid for crying over a fish because that's what normal people think. I hate how everything is really affordable but then medicines are so prohibitive it'd be more cost effective to let them all fucking die. I hate how people regard fish as objects, decorations for their goddamn bathroom or some kind of 'investment' for rarer varieties, swimming in sterile tanks like their a goddamn floating gold bar - not a life. A living, breathing, thinking little life. That I let down. So yeah I'll fucking cry because no one else will.

This tank was supposed to be a source of relief while I went through this intense treatment but now it's just a trigger for me ruminating over and over. I worry with the tetra population so depleted it's going to cause them more stress making them more likely to die. I'm scared to do water changes, though I need to keep doing them.

I'm angry this parasite is so common it's considered to be encountered by anyone new to the hobby within 6 months, because it takes no prisoners - any kind of fish can get it. I'm angry research only revealed the possibility of a vaccine a few years ago, despite fish being the most owned pet globally. I'm angry the reputable, best aquarium shop in my entire city had tetra carrying this and there's jack shit I can do. I don't know whether to tell them or not even bother. Given the entire shop runs on what I suspect are the same sumps, it's likely everything has the risk.

Maybe I'm just stupid and this is all my fault.

I'll keep trying. I'll buy another 40 dollar bottle and treat them for the 14 days and aone more week just in case. I put too much work into this to give up.

#kerytalk #ventposting #pet death tw #pet death #only saving sliver of hope for me right now is im being cleared for anxiety treatment with rTMS #so they'll flip the coil to the other side of my brain and start working on disrupting the neurons where my likely overactive anxiety is #hopefully it does something because after this ... idk man. it feels like the end of the road. #either get brain surgery or accept I'll always feel awful #part of me feels it wont work anyway because its the world that makes me feel this way #I'm this way because of what they did to me #to get better ... i feel the world would have to change. but every day it just seems to get worse #depression #sorry i just ... had to yell somewhere. im sick of holding all this pain so quietly by myself #yes i am seeing a psychologist but im literally on last resort before brain surgery here

[long-cold-winterr]

*Trigger warnings* sensitive topics

I've just been so out of it lately, considering all the intense shit I've witnessed and had to deal with at the school.

My parents were badgering me to join a family party and to be on the phone with my relatives, which I said I'm just not in the mood. My mum got pissed off with me and I was like considering the shit I've seen this week, I'm not in a celebratory mood. My mum's just also so selfish and just telling me to 'keep that at work' - how can I?

You tell me how you can just forget about it, if you witnessed two students fighting each other to the pulp, blood splattering on the walls and a teacher covered in it because he jumped in to stop the fight, and some very dangerous people (gang associations) literally drive up to the school. Then dealing with kids who self harm and try to commit suicide in the bathrooms, and then a 12 year old boy telling me his father passed away and he's scared that his abusive mother is going to take him away.

I'm at my limits, and I know I'm walking away from this job but the fact that these issues are still going to happen when I'm out.

So forgive me if I don't feel like participating in any of these superficial family parties.

#trigger warnings

[collateraldamage-inc]

PRIV: MotherFUCKER what are you DOING

(( This is re: Aurelia's relationship with th3miIkman on Twitter. She has many thoughts and FEELINGS and the Aurelia/Homelander dynamic is so FASCINATING to me. PRIV posts are just that, private IC entries, so nobody's character can actually SEE them. Replies are considered OOC. ))

Month in month out I'm just not fucking sure what I'm even doing, is this fight worth it? At all? What am I trying to accomplish? I swear to fuck I don't know anymore, I'm one person, I'm NOTHING. And then it happens. Of all the people, of all the FUCKING people, I start dealing with HIM.

Fucking HOMELANDER.

It's like

It's like an ornery rat facing off against this big fuckin' cat and the cat just can't believe the audacity so he keeps playing with this rodent like wow

Nah, fucking wordplay isn't going to work here.

I am not afraid of this man. I do not give a shit what he does to me. He could choose to play basketball with my head and I just do not give a flying fuck. It's fine.

So months go by. We dance. Verbal sparring matches where I can get as pissy as I want and he does not give a shit. I'm not reprimanded. Maybe like, once, once he hints I've gone a little too far but that's it. That's it. He's into the snarling and I'm into the fact that somebody isn't telling me to calm down ma'am

It is fucking INVIGORATING.

There is finally somebody that lets me be pissed off. I don't have to censor my feelings. This motherfucker is going so far as to kill people he doesn't know because they're making me feel unsafe.

I want more.

John is the fucking enemy, but he's not, but he's been handed so much shit and his childhood makes my sister's look like a goddamn amusement park. He turns to putty in my hands. He needs me I keep reminding him that he's better, he doesn't have to listen to Vought, he doesn't owe them anything. I can pull the trigger. I should pull the trigger. I encourage him.

But that little voice in the back of my head says be careful because surely they've got something, anything, just in case John goes rogue.

And it's not the possibility of failure to bring down the giant that scares me.

It's the possibility of losing him.

Do I just accept what I've got now and let it go?

I can't. 'Cause they fucked him, too. Vought fucked me, Vought fucked my family, Vought fucked my boyfriend

And in the end, no matter the cost, they need to pay. Somehow.

But it can wait. Just a little longer, so I can get just a little more time of feeling happier than I've felt in three fucking years

I don't deserve much, but we both deserve that

#priv #secrets #journal #the milkman #homelander fuckers anonymous apparently #i don't know how she managed to get involved with one let alone two #when she says 'my boyfriend' she means john #they're fucked up and i love it