#5. LITERALLY THE NEXT NIGHT the guardian appears again. it's like a twist to the gut. she doesn't know what to believe

[feywhimsy]

playing leyla today did nothing but hurt me 🫠

#sequence of events from my play today: #1. the dream guardian appears in the form of leyla's bf. who she hasn't known the fate of since she was yoinked #2. leyla takes this to mean that traven died. she takes her anger out on some goblins. #3. tiefling party time! astarion immediately propositions her. she's sober enough to know what she's agreeing to but tipsy enough to say ye #anything to distract her from realizing she's lost what she thought was her soulmate. or one of them at least #4. they fuck. it's almost good enough to forget traven exists for the night. almost #5. LITERALLY THE NEXT NIGHT the guardian appears again. it's like a twist to the gut. she doesn't know what to believe #the guardian says he's an adventurer like her. that he was infected. leyla has HOPE #but she can't help but feel like there's something wrong. that it's just her mind playing tricks on her. #after all... the others are having similar dreams. certainly this couldn't be traven... #aaaand i closed down immediately after that long rest bc i was emotionally compromised #whoops i accidentally wrote a novel in the tags #forgive me i am Sad #i still intend her to romance gale btw!! #leyla just deals with her emotions. physically. and astarion was down soooo #plus she let him bite her neck so she could be a bit more out of it #leyla needs fantasy therapy tbh #moxie plays bg3

[bunnimew]

5 Times Pitch Used Terrible Pick Up Lines and the 1 Time It Kinda Worked

Fandom: Rise of the Guardians Pairing: Jack Frost/Pitch Black Tags: Fluff, Crack, Pick Up Lines, Post-Movie, 5+1, rating for themes, Pitch Black is a ridiculous man, Jack Frost you little shit Rating: T Words: 1884 Summary: Does what it says on the tin.

For RotG Bingo 2021: Terrible Pick-Up Lines On AO3 Here.

1

Jack hadn’t seen Pitch since the nightmares dragged him away.

The image was never far from his mind. The panic, the despair. And the children were so carefree now that Jack began to wonder if the Boogeyman would ever return.

Which is what made it such a shock when he finally heard that voice again, that silky smooth tone Jack thought locked away in his past, out of the literal darkness.

“If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”

Jack gripped his staff on instinct and spun to face his opponent before he realized that wasn’t an insult at all.

That was a pick-up line.

Pitch Black had just laid a pick-up line on Jack. Frost. One of the Guardians.

What.

The shock was so complete that all the fight melted out of Jack and left him reeling in confusion. Pitch’s lines were meant to sting, right? They weren’t supposed to be–

“Did you just call me fine?” Jack had to ask. Just to make sure.

Pitch’s expression remained smooth and suave, but his body, what little of it was solid, began to waiver and… was the Nightmare King fidgeting?

“Of course, Jack,” he said. “Surely you know how appealing you are?”

Jack nodded. He did. He definitely did. “Surely you know how weird it is that you said it?”

Pitch tilted his chin up, straightening his spine and assuming a very carefully composed stance. He looked uncomfortable as fuck. “It’s not that strange, Jack. If you’ll recall, it’s not the first… offer I’ve made you.”

That was a fair point, and Jack almost gave it to him. “Taking over the world and taking me to bed aren’t exactly the same thing, Pitch.”

His eyes widened in feigned surprise. Pitch leaned forward just enough to make Jack feel his height, and then he said, “Aren’t they, though?”

He vanished into the dark before Jack could come up with a good reply.

2

“Kiss me if I'm wrong. But dinosaurs still exist, right?”

This time, Jack was less surprised. Surprised, yes, but Jack didn’t jump into a defensive stance or anything, which was good for his sense of pride.

Instead, he thought about what Pitch actually said. Dinosaurs did not exist, and that was one of the saddest facts Jack knew. “These are supposed to be Pick-Ups, not Put-Downs. What are you doing?”

Pitch didn’t miss a beat. He turned his head coyly to the side and made himself look very unassuming. “You know, I’m actually terrible at flirting. How about you try to pick me up instead?”

That was… a pretty good line, if Jack were honest. Unfortunately, fraternizing with the enemy was frowned upon in most establishments, and also Jack was not going to reward the Boogeyman for bad behavior. “I’m not falling for it.”

“Are you sure?” Pitch looked up, all innocence. “Maybe you should check again.”

Jack snorted a laugh. He knew Pitch was witty and all, but somehow the Guardian had thought it limited to nasty insults and setting traps. Speaking of…

He looked right into Pitch’s eyes when he said. “You’re wrong, but I’m not kissing you.”

Pitch’s lips twisted, but it looked more playful than aggrieved. “Well you’re no fun.”

3

Jack skated to the edge of the lake, the one he liked to think of as home, and tipped joyously over into the soft snowbank to rest. Figure eights were a lot of fun, but figure skating was a lot of work.

“We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.”

Jack almost jumped right back out into the lake and through the ice. Instead, he used his unwillfully gained momentum to turn and smack Pitch’s shoulder for scaring him. That was no way to woo a man.

“Antarctica hit you hard, didn’t it?” he accused.

Pitch did look off-put by that, but he didn’t leave so Jack figured he was over it enough. It was only fair, too, considering the whole Antarctica thing was largely Pitch’s doing.

Jack brushed off the snowflakes he’d thrown all over himself in his panic and settled down into the bank the way he’d meant to before Pitch so rudely interrupted. “You know, you’d get further if you stopped sneaking up on people.”

Pitch looked even more offended by that. “I am the Boogeyman!”

“Yeah, so?”

Pitch tossed his head. Dramatically. Jack hid his grin. “Sneaking up on people is what I do.”

“Sneaking up on targets is what you do,” Jack corrected mildly. He stuffed one arm under his head and made sure to have a good angle on Pitch’s face for what he said next. “Sneaking up on a pull is how you go to bed lonely.”

Pitch drew back in shock, and Jack loved to see it. His eyes were wide and everything.

Jack raised his eyebrows and said, “That is what you’re trying to do, isn’t it?”

Pitch sputtered. It was hilarious. He recovered quickly, and that was fun, too. “And who are you to give me dating advice?”

Jack shrugged. “Just the guy you’re trying to date.”

Pitch walked right into that one, and he clearly knew it by the way he kept his mouth shut and looked at everything that wasn’t Jack. Finally, he licked his lips and said, “Yes, well…”

“Well?” Jack prompted. He would have sworn Pitch’s high cheekbones were looking darker than usual.

“Have a nice night,” Pitch said in a rush of breath and vanished into the shadows from whence he came.

Jack grinned. He didn’t care if Pitch was actually still there and could see. “Oh, I’m sure I will.”

4

If Jack was the kind of person to compliment his arch nemesis, he would give him props for materializing slowly this time. Was Pitch trying to learn?

All the same, the Nightmare King stopped Jack in his tracks by blocking his way with a long gray arm and a beautiful purple rose.

“I just wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are.”

Gorgeous as the rose was, that line was transparent as hell. Jack dropped his shoulders and stared at Pitch, hoping his expression was as lame as that line.

To his credit, Pitch held his ground. His face was the picture of innocent interest, maybe even with a dash of hope.

As they watched each other, waiting to see who blinked first, Pitch’s arms slowly lifted to place the rose, de-thorned thankfully, over Jack’s ear.

...Well played.

Jack tried to maintain his stare, but it was hard to stay mad when he felt pretty. That didn’t mean Pitch’s line was working; it just meant Jack liked roses. Who didn’t like roses?

Jack gathered his wits and tried to look casual when he asked, “If that’s all you wanted, then I guess your job’s done here, isn’t it?”

Pitch didn’t look upset the way Jack thought he would. His eyes were roaming over Jack’s face and the flower tucked against it in distant admiration and Jack, for the first time, really started to think Pitch might mean something by these lines he was using.

“Yes, I suppose it is,” he said as if waking from a dream. This time, when Pitch melted into the dark, he sank slowly into the shadows and it didn’t feel anything like the running away it had every time previously.

He could have taken three times as long to leave and Jack still wouldn’t have found his tongue in time to reply.

5

This time, when Pitch appeared, Jack was reclining lazily up in a tree. Which Jack would have considered his home turf, except the way Pitch dripped out from the shadow of the branch above him to hang upside down, comfortable as any bat, made him feel at a distinct disadvantage.

It was creepy, but Jack could admit it was cool, too. Pitch had style.

Jack waited patiently for the line he knew was coming.

“I'd like to take you to the movies, but they don't let you bring in your own snacks.”

Jack snorted a laugh. He couldn’t help it. And yet, after all of this, Jack could admit to feeling flattered by it, too. A snack, huh?

“Why can’t you just tell me you like me and get it over with?”

Jack hadn’t realized any part of Pitch was moving until all of it, extended shadows and everything, came to a screeching halt. “Wha–” He stuttered, and it was music to Jack’s ears. “No, That’s–I don–”

The Boogeyman didn’t know how to handle it when he wasn’t in control, but rather than lash out the way Jack feared, the way he was used to, he flailed in embarrassment and conceded all ground to Jack. That, more than anything else, told Jack what he needed to know.

“Goodbye, Frost.” Pitch said with what little dignity he could muster, and dropped right into the ground.

+1

Pitch wasn’t even a surprise this time.

Jack was in the middle of a long brick walkway, icing up the ornate lamps and decorating the bare trees on either side with snow. There were plenty of shadows to pick from, but Pitch walked over from some distance away giving Jack more than enough warning to know he was there.

Jack was tempted to interrupt him. To see if he could wrongfoot him again, get Pitch to trip over his own words and obvious desires and flee.

It would be easy. Jack could think up dozens of ways to call Pitch out before he even spoke a word.

But then Jack wouldn’t get to hear him speak a word.

And he was curious what words Pitch might speak.

“Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean,” Pitch spoke softly, poetically. He must have practised to deliver the line this well. “And I don’t mind being lost at sea”

It was worth it, Jack thought: the practice and letting Pitch say it. That smooth tongue was meant for promises on the wind and romance in every word.

Jack stared for too long and only realized when Pitch’s eyes gleamed and he took another breath.

“I wish I were a tear,” he whispered as he moved closer. His cool fingers brushed gently along the side of Jack’s face and Jack felt no fear. Pitch was telling him just what he wanted, and Jack held all the power here. “...So I could start in your eyes,” Pitch said, “live on your face…” His fingers drifted down along Jack’s jaw. He knew what Pitch was going to say before he said it, “...and die on your lips.”

But it was so much better out loud, in Pitch’s voice, than in Jack’s head.

It was Antarctica all over again, but this time Pitch was offering something whose price wasn’t Jack’s soul. It was Antarctica all over again, and Pitch was brave to come back a second time, a third time, a sixth time to risk rejection and hurt and wounds reopened that maybe only just healed.

Jack watched Pitch glow in the moonlight. Watched him take a deep breath and open his lips to speak—

“You can stop now,” Jack said, and grabbed the back of Pitch’s neck to pull him in for a kiss.

Pitch’s lips tasted just as sweet as his lines.

#TheBunni #Rise of the Guardians #rotg #blackicerotg #blackice rotg #blackice #Jack Frost #Pitch Black #Pick-up lines #Rotg Bingo #rotgbingo

[p-artsypants]

I Do...I Guess? (5)

Guadosalam

Ao3 | FF.net

The city of Guadosalam was made of thousands and thousands of interwoven tree roots. No leaves, just roots. Just like the Guado themselves, nature seemed to stretch and twist in the most peculiar of ways. 

Though, none of this was really digested before a Guado man called out to them. 

“Lady Yuna! The High Summoner Lord Seymour has been expecting you! I am Tromell, the steward to His Grace. Please won’t you come with me?” 

Yuna seemed flustered. “Lord Seymour wants to see me?” 

“Most fervently! We expected you last night, as far as travel time goes.” 

“Our apologies,” said Lulu, “we were delayed at the Moonflow by a Shoopuf stomach ache.” 

“Nevertheless,” said Tromell, “you’re here now, so come!” 

Startled by the bluntness of the Guado, the party was whisked off into the city. The city was made up of overlapping bridges and tunnels, all still made of tree roots. 

“I wonder if this is what being a rabbit is like.” Tidus mused. 

Tromell escorted them to a manor in the middle of the city, with a grand staircase that wrapped around both sides of the room. 

“Wait here, a moment,” Tromell prompted, before disappearing under the stairs. 

Auron nudged Tidus closer to Yuna. “Stay near her. I have a bad feeling.” 

“Oh yeah? Yevon rub you the wrong way too?” 

“I’ve been in Zanarkand for a very long time. Things change. Opinions change. Status of power changes.” 

“Vague, but threatening.” 

Yuna looked at Auron. “You don’t think Maester Seymour is a bad person, do you?” 

“People with power can abuse power, priests of Yevon have power. That’s all I’m saying.” 

Tidus laid a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Yuna. Maybe he’s just going to congratulate us, or give you some tips. Or something.” 

“I hope you’re right.” 

Lulu nudged Tidus, and pointed to a series of portraits on the wall in front of them. “History lesson, for the oh so important husband of the summoner.” 

“Lay it on me.” 

“These are the leaders of the Guado, the last on the end is Lord Jsycal, father of Seymour.” 

“Wow, they all look the same.” 

“Now look at this side.” 

The line of portraits trailed off to show Seymour, but next to his predecessors, it was obvious how different he looked. 

“Why doesn’t he look like the rest of the Guado?” 

“That would be because he’s half human. Lord Jsycal married a human woman, and brought the Yevon faith to the Guado.” 

“Wait, so they haven’t always been a part of Yevon?” 

“No. Only about twenty years now. They are the guardians of the Farplane, and Macalania woods. They convened with nature, and the pyreflies.” 

“Okay,” Tidus held up his hands. “That was a lot of information you just threw at me. What about them guarding the Farplane? Are you being literal?” 

“Completely. There’s a gate here, in Guadosalam, that allows us a brief glimpse into the Farplane.” 

“We can go there later,” Yuna stated. “I heard it’s an emotional experience.” 

“That’s…crazy.” He ended with. 

Tromell reappeared. “The dining room is ready. Please, help yourselves to the food. You must be famished. Lord Seymour will be with you shortly.” He gestured them down a hallway. 

“For twisting our arms and making us rush here, there’s sure a lot of waiting,” Rikku remarked. 

“If we keep getting delayed like this, we’ll reach Gagazet too late in the season, and have to wait until the spring thaw.” Auron added, with much bitterness. 

“I think that’s a little far…” Yuna offered. “We still have a few weeks before the ice sets in.” 

“And who knows how long Zanarkand will take? What if we make it over the mountain, but not back over before the ice sets in? You don’t want to be trapped in those ruins for several months.” Auron argued. “We press on, and if the timing is too close, we stay with the Ronso, or come up with alternate plans.” 

“I guess I hadn’t been thinking about the mountain ice,” Yuna offered shyly. “I didn’t think the pilgrimage would take that long.” 

“It shouldn’t,” agreed Lulu, “but if we keep getting stopped like this…” 

“Hey, no worries. We’ll make up time somehow. And if we have to stay with the Ronso…that can’t be all that bad. Kimahri can get us in with his family.” 

“Kimahri leave Ronso tribe. Runt of litter, shamed by brothers.” 

“Oh.” 

“We have a while before we even get to Gagazet, so let’s all just chill out, okay?” Rikku offered. 

The group fanned out, taking their concerns to each corner of the room. There were several tables of food, each stacked higher than the one before. 

“The Guado may be blunt,” said Rikku, “but they sure do know how to make someone feel at home!” 

“Guado food, mostly plants.” Kimahri muttered to himself as he picked over a fruit tray. 

“Hey,” Yuna brought a plate over to Tidus. “Look what I made!” 

It looked like an open faced sandwich, with cheese and tomato slices. 

“Hmm looks good?” He offered. 

“It’s for you! It’s pizza!” 

His eyes widened. Indeed, she had remembered his instructions from the night before. Oh how vague he had been. 

“Aw! Yuna, this is wonderful. Sorry I didn’t recognize it at first. I didn’t really describe it that well last night.” 

“No?” 

“Well, first of all, it’s cooked. Usually in a wood stove. The dough is soft, then you add tomato sauce, and then shredded cheese and other toppings. You bake it until it’s melted and golden brown.” 

“Oh…” she looked sad. “Well, I don’t have an oven…” 

He held her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. One day, I’ll make you a proper pizza.” He took the plate from her. “I’m going to eat this anyway, because it was the nicest gesture anyone has made for me…in like, forever. Thank you.” 

Yuna smiled broadly. 

“My my,” spoke a smarmy voice from the door. “So many guests, it’s been so long.” Seymour entered the room, and offered a bow, which only half the party returned. 

“You wanted to speak to me?” Yuna asked, humbly. 

“Yes, My Lady Yuna. First, I would like to share something with you and your party.” 

Immediately, the room erupted in a glowing light. A hologram, projecting a huge city, filled the room. 

“Zanarkand!” Tidus exclaimed, recognizing it immediately. 

“Correct, the Holy City, as it appeared a thousand years ago. These images are gathered from memories from the Farplane”

“Amazing machina…” Rikku whispered to herself, more about the hologram program than the ancient depictions. 

“You recognized it so quickly,” Said Yuna.

“Sure!” He pointed out a tall building. “This is a condo, and this one here is a bank. This one has a grocer on the bottom that sells really good chicken sandwiches.”

Wakka and Seymour both looked at him curiously, but said nothing.

Instead, Seymour drew attention to himself. “She lived here, all those years ago.” 

“Who?”

The hologram changed, this time to a bedroom, with a woman sitting on the bed. 

“Oh, Lady Yunalesca!” Yuna explained. 

“The first to defeat Sin. Your namesake. Your destiny!” 

Tidus gave the others in the room a quick glance. Rikku met it and rolled her eyes. 

“Um, my father named me that. But I think he just liked the name.” 

“You do not believe in destiny, My Lady?” 

A holographic man in armor entered the room, opening his arms wide to embrace his wife. 

Seymour looked at the couple with longing. “Two hearts bonded for eternity, unflappable loyalty and love. This truly was the key to stopping the unbeatable Sin.” 

Now Tidus turned his gaze to scrutinize Seymour. He was looking at Yuna in that way again, the eyes of a predator. 

Yuna seemed to squirm under that gaze. 

“Lady Yuna, I would be honored if I could speak to you in private?” He gestured to a corner room as the hologram faded. 

“I…uh…” Yuna stuttered.

Auron shoved Tidus forward. “He goes with. That’s all the privacy we will allow.” 

Seymour looked disappointed, but beckoned them both along to the little room. 

“What is this all about, Your Grace?” Yuna asked. 

Tidus stayed silent, but right at her side. 

“Seymour is fine, My Lady. If I can return the favor?” 

“Yuna is fine as well, and this is Tidus.” 

Seymour didn’t seem to care. “I am ever so grateful that you granted me an audience. I know being a summoner is a busy ordeal—“ 

“Would you just spit it out, already?” Tidus muttered. 

“Something the matter, Sir…?” 

“Tidus,” he repeated, like he hadn’t just been introduced. “I’m sorry. We’ve had a…stressful day, and we’re anxious to get on with our journey.” He tried to be polite, but there were just too many red flags flying in his face. 

“I understand. Then, I will not beat around the bush anymore. Yuna, I believe it is for the benefit of Spira that you and I wed.” 

She jolted. “What?!” 

“Think of the joy it would bring. A maester of Yevon, and a High Summoner, bonded in Holy Bliss! Would it not bless Spira? I would only aim to aid in your Journey as well.” 

“I…” Yuna just stared in shock, her mouth fighting for words. 

Tidus, while never the one to back down from a fight, had a feeling that Seymour would ignore him if he protested. So he rested his hand on Yuna’s shoulder, and gave her strength. 

She took a breath and found her center. “While I am extremely flattered you would ask this of me, I must decline. I am already married, you see. Tidus is my husband.” 

Seymour frowned, and his steely blue eyes flashed with a definite hate in Tidus’ direction. “You were not married at the Mi’ihen Operation, though.” 

“We were engaged.” Tidus fudged the timeline. Yuna didn’t object. 

“So you’ve only been married, what? A few days?” 

“About two,” Yuna clarified. “The ceremony was performed at the Djose Temple.” 

This made Seymour smile. “Only two days? Then there’s nothing to worry about. The records wouldn’t have made it to Bevelle yet, and we can easily annul the whole thing.” 

“HA!” Tidus laughed. “Annulment?! Are you serious? Like we would ever—…” he stopped when he noticed that Yuna was thinking it over. “Yuna, we wouldn’t…right?” 

She looked at him, lost, totally thrown for a loop. “I don’t know.” 

This angered him. “You don’t know!? It should be obvious! Unless you regret this? Regret me?” 

“That’s not…I only meant…” 

Seymour hummed. “I can see this isn’t an easy decision for you both. Of course, an annulment must be mutually agreed on. I’ll leave you two to discuss it. I hope you reach the right decision, Sir Tidus.” And the bastard left. 

Tidus let out a yell, which startled Yuna. Then he followed it with, “Who does he think he is?! Thinking I’d go along with whatever he wants just because he’s a Maester! Disgusting!” 

Yuna hunched her shoulders and clasped her hands in front of her chest. 

“Well? What’s it going to be?” He asked, tone much harsher than he intended. 

“If it would be for the good of Spira—“

“No. Yuna. I’m not married to Spira, I’m married to you. Use terms like ‘I think’ and ‘I feel’ don’t just…regurgitate things that have been said to you!” 

She flushed, and turned her back to him. “I need some water.” 

He went to the door and opened it for her, taking deep breaths with each step. “Sure, let’s get you some water.” He tried to keep his voice steady. 

Out in the parlor, Seymour loitered with the rest of the party. When the door opened, they all turned to look. 

“You okay, brodda? We heard you scream.” 

“Peachy. Just peachy.” 

Yuna walked with purpose to the drink table and downed a glass of water. 

“What about you, Yunie? Your face is all red.” 

“Lord Seymour asked me to marry him,” She said sternly. 

“And?” Asked Auron, “you’re already married.” 

“But only recently, there’s still time for an annulment,” Seymour prodded again.

“Yes, the High Summoner gave up her marriage to someone she really cared about to marry for politics. Sounds very romantic and I’m sure Spira will love to hear it.” Auron bit. “Yuna and Tidus were married so that Yuna could have a support pillar during her journey, not so that the world could feel a little better for a day. When it all comes down to it, Sin must be defeated, and this is a distraction.” 

Tidus was going to hug that man the first minute they were alone. 

“But easing the suffering of Spira is the job of the summoners. Even if it was just a little while, Yuna has the ability to do so, and should act on it.” Seymour offered, with a grin that seemed pleasant. Then he tilted his head as he studied Auron. “If you’ll excuse me Sir. Why are you still here?” 

Auron did not answer. 

“Forgive me, we Guado are very keen to the Farplane scent.” 

“If you saw what I saw, you’d be drenched in the Farplane too.” He answered coldly. 

Then Seymour noticed Rikku, who had been doing her best to stay in the background. He frowned again, “And an Al Bhed as a guardian to a summoner? Isn’t that rather unbecoming, Lady Yuna?” 

“An Al Bhed?!” Wakka blurted, before whirling to look at Rikku. “You’re—?” 

“Yes…” 

“She can’t be a guardian! She doesn’t believe in Yevon!” 

“Yuna wanted her as a guardian. That’s all that matters,” Auron challenged. 

“Are you kidding? Al Bhed aren't allowed in the temples! How is she supposed to be a guardian? And just because you’re the most experienced one here, doesn’t mean you get to be the ultimate authority, ya?” 

“Kimahri not like situation.” 

“No kidding. I need some air.” Tidus left, without so much as an ‘excuse me’. He rushed out of the mansion, passing a smug Seymour, and doing everything in his body to not punch his lights out. 

Outside, Tidus climbed the bridge to the Farplane entrance, and sat on the edge, legs dangling. 

“Damn Seymour.” He muttered. How quickly everything had dissolved. A few well placed questions and everyone was at each other's throats. Why bring up Rikku being an Al Bhed? Was he just trying to get everyone to doubt Yuna’s judgement? 

How gross. 

“It’s not you, you know.” Yuna interrupted his thoughts. She knelt on the bridge next to him. 

“What? Is this the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?” 

“No, because it’s really not you that’s at fault. You’ve been wonderful, Tidus. I’ve never been married before, but you’re the best husband I could ask for.” 

“Then what? Was our marriage just…a game to you? Just something fun to do on the journey? And now that someone with power comes along, you want to ditch me? For a marriage with meaning?!” 

“That’s a very cruel thing to say.” 

He growled to himself, pulling on his hair. “I’m sorry, I’m just—“ he sighed, finding a piece of patience. “Do you remember that girl I told you about? She and I were seeing each other in Zanarkand?” 

“Yes?” 

“Well…she did something like this before. Not marriage. But she would…break up with me. And she’d go and date someone else for a while, and then when it didn’t work out, she’d come and declare we were dating again. And I never tried dating anyone else in those breaks, because the pain of her rejection always hurt. She would just…try for something better, and she knew that when it didn’t work out, I’d be there waiting.” 

“That’s awful.” 

“It is. It sucked. I know this isn’t the same thing, though. You don’t love Seymour. You don’t even like him, do you?” 

“Love’s got nothing to do with it. I have to do what’s right for Spira.” 

“You’re already doing something huge for Spira by going on this pilgrimage! And we’re going to defeat Sin! Isn’t that enough?” 

“Tidus...I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I was using you. I care a lot about you, or else I wouldn’t have asked. But...I rushed into our marriage. I don’t want to make any decisions I regret. I want my journey to be meaningful.” 

“I thought you wanted it to be full of laughter?” 

She paused, staring at him. The words went unsaid. If they got their annulment and she married Seymour, there would be no more laughter. 

“I think I want to see my father,” she said. “He’ll have some answers for me.” 

Tidus shrugged, noncommittally. 

“I’ll go see if everyone else is ready to visit the Farplane.” 

Kimahri had followed Yuna, as was his way, and he stood back silently as they talked. When she rose to leave, he came over and rubbed Tidus’s head. 

“Hey!” 

“For what it worth, Kimahri like Tidus for Yuna. More than anyone.” That was all he said, and all he ever needed to say. 

Tidus swallowed thickly, emotion bubbling up inside of him. 

Was he losing his wife to someone she didn’t even love? 

Why did he care? This wasn’t a marriage of love either. It was a bucket list item. She was really giving him an out. 

So why did he want to fight so bad? 

Auron rubbed his head, just like Kimahri had. “Are you crying? I heard you’re quite the cry baby.” 

“I’m not crying.” 

“Sure.” 

“But I appreciate you standing up for me.” 

“I wasn’t necessarily standing up for you, more just against this whole thing. I don’t know what Seymour’s aim is. He certainly has enough fame and notoriety. And bringing up Rikku’s lineage? Low blow.” 

Just then, Rikku and Wakka came out of the mansion, arguing. Lulu stood nearby, arms crossed, maybe as a mediator. Yuna stood a few paces back, looking anxious.

“How can you say that Machina is harmless when it’s very clearly the cause of Sin?!” 

“It’s not clearly the problem if it’s still allowed by Yevon!” 

“Only some things are allowed! And only if we use them humbly and for help, not to rise to power. Those weapons you people used at Operation Mi’ihen is probably the reason Sin came there in the first place!” 

“First of all, I had nothing to do with that Operation. My family thought it was a bad idea, and we stayed away. Second of all, they had a Sinspawn as bait, so don’t place the blame on a few cannons!” 

Auron spoke up. “Rikku! Wakka! That’s enough! You’ll never agree on this, and arguing is pointless. You both want to protect Yuna, right?” 

“Yeah,” said Wakka. 

“Yes!” Said Rikku. 

“Then that’s what matters. Do that, and you’ll get along great.” 

“Really duct taping the team back together, aren’t we, Chief?” Tidus asked, with much sarcasm. 

“I could just let them yell at each other in the street. Then everyone in Guadosalam will know Lady Yuna travels with a band of hooligans.” 

“Kimahri not a hooligan. Kimahri is Ronso.”

Tidus smiled at him. “Okay big guy.” 

Lulu rounded up the two combatants and Yuna, like they were baby ducklings, and corralled them up towards Tidus. 

“To the Farplane then?” 

“To the Farplane.” Yuna said, the only one with any enthusiasm. 

As everyone walked on ahead, Tidus fell into step beside Yuna. “Hey.” 

“Hi.” 

“I’m sorry for yelling.” 

“Don’t apologize. You were justified in your anger.” 

They walked a while in silence, slowing their steps to put distance between them and the others. 

“I just want you to know…this marriage means more to me than I thought it would. I get that it was for convenience and to fulfill a pipe dream, but I like being with you. I liked waking up next to you the other night.” He flushed. “Um, what I’m trying to say is that if you’re trying to give me an out, or an excuse to leave, don’t. I’m content to stay.” Then he sighed and took her hand. “But if getting an annulment and marrying Seymour is what you want and what will make your journey easier, then I’ll let you go.” 

She squeezed his hand back. “I appreciate it. I’ll have your answer after I speak with my father.” 

#Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy X #tidus x yuna #tidus #yuna #final fantasy tidus #fanfiction #I Do...I guess?

[ren-c-leyn]

To Duel a God...

 It’s been a while since I’ve done a short story for this blog, thought I might give it a try since I’m still under the weather but want to try to stick to the habit of writing. This is a fusion story that I’ve been squirreling away prompts for for a while. I’m excited to finally have enough pieces in place to write it.

 The prompts in question are these 1,2,3,4,5,6 by the always amazing @thependragonwritersguild, this one by @thewholekitandkabobble, these 1,2,3,4 by the lovely @givethispromptatry, and these 1,2 by @humdrummoloch. Thank you all for your hard work to make so many amazing prompts ^-^

Story warnings: This is a fight story, so there is fictional violence. It also mentions death in passing, but nothing in any great detail. There is a little swearing, as well.

~

 It started with an old memory; a tiny cry from the void of hollow emptiness that had been eating me alive since that living nightmare.

 Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t have to be any of those things to become a great hero. After all, heroes of legend are not the strongest or the wisest of us. They are those who had the selflessness and courage to do what was right.

 But I know I am not one of those people. I had never been one of those people. If I had been, I would have been able to save him. If I am now, I would be able to avenge them now.

 Perhaps my first warning that I still wasn’t one of those people should have been the way her face blanched at my statement and argued with me for an hour over it. Or, perhaps it should have been in my statement itself.

 I’m going to challenge a god to a duel at sunrise on the anniversary.

 Maybe they’d even add a line to the adventurer’s hand guide dedicated solely to warn against my insanity at the end of this: ‘Protip: Don’t challenge gods to duels.’

 “You must understand! It was a hard fought victory; a truce that you are threatening to tear apart!”

 “I don’t care. I promised nothing and was privy to no truce. I walk my own path and care little for the gods and their business.”

 My best friend, my former comrade, the woman I had shed sweat and blood and tears with just searched my face with a lost sort of expression, similar to the one we had both worn that day, the anniversary, as we stared at the piles of corpses stacked up to impossible heights.

 Eventually she sighed, shoulders sagging as her eyes closed.

 “Why do you always do this?” she asked, voice tired and raspy.

 “Why do you always ask me that when you know the answer you’ll get?”

 And those dull, rust-colored eyes opened partly again.

 “What’s going to happen to everything after you are gone?”

 “I dunno. I’ll be dead, my friend. Figure it out for yourself.”

 She snorted.

 “So you admit this will be what finally kills you?”

 “It’s more that I admit that I cannot guarantee it won’t, even with my so called talents. Still... can we really just sit back and say we’re fine with how things turned out in the end?”

 “Obviously you cannot, and I cannot stop you. Go then, Payback. Do what it is you do best. I won’t join in your foolishness, but I will stand witness to your duel. I trust it will take place in the usual ring?”

 A grim smile crept onto my face as I turned away from her desk and began to stride to the door.

 “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 With my friend and queen’s permission, or at least reluctant surrender, on the matter, I set about issuing my challenge. This proved to be the hard part. No priest or priestess in their right minds were willing to send my message to the war god, not even those of questionable sanity wanted to get involved, and several temples threw me out on my ear, quite literally. The last of which was the war god’s high temple itself. 

 Well, fine then. If I couldn’t get my challenge to the bastard through a third party, I’d just have to do it myself.

 I climbed up the pillars, ignoring the indignant shouts of priests and temple guardians as I scaled up the front of the so called holy site, clawed my way through the ornate carvings depicting great battles and heroes, and then finally drug my armored arse over the lip of the roofing to get on top of the building itself.

 Standing as straight as I could, I cupped my hands to my mouth and inhaled. Then, all at once, I roared up to the sky.

 “WAR GOD!!! I CHALLENGE YOU IN SINGLE COMBAT FOR THE HONOR OF MY FALLEN FRIENDS! COME TO THE HILL OF ROSES ON THE SUNRISE OF THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY YOU BUTCHERED THEM LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE AND I SHALL HONOR THEIR MEMORIES WITH YOUR HEAD!”

 Then, there was silence. A dead silence that was quite out of place for any part of the capital city. I wasn’t even sure if the people who heard me issue my challenge were breathing, but I couldn’t care less. They could hide in fear all they wanted, but I had faced god beasts and their other minions in the fields of battle during our war against the gods. I had looked servants of death in the eye, and even played cards with one during my queen’s negotiations for peace. There was nothing for me to fear from the other side.

 Still, I found the silence a bit uneasy. Was I being ignored? Usually, my opponents responded to my challenged rather quickly. For example, you know the wizard accepts your challenge when a crimson bolt strikes. You know a thieves’ guild leader accepts your challenge when you have a knife and a dead snake pinned to the inside of your inn door the next morning.But how does one know when a god decides to accept a challenge?

 Blood red lightening shot down from a cloudless sky and shattered an ancient oak that had been on the grounds for centuries.

 I guessed that answered my question. The bastard had heard me alright, and it looked like he accepted my challenge. A broad grin split my face. Good, this would be fun.

 Two weeks passed with nonstop training and uneasy anticipation. The nightmares of the past came and went in tides, mixing in with the present. Instead of falling victim to them, I used them to motivate myself, remind myself why I had to do this.

 Then, the fateful morning came, or rather, the pre-dawn darkness before a fateful morning came. The queen and I stood on my usual dueling grounds, a flat-topped hill crowned with blood-red roses. It was a fitting place to die... for my enemies. Neither of us said a word to each other as we watched the eastern sky, waiting for our old enemy to appear. 

 Just as the deep blues of night began to turn yellow, and rays of sunlight began to caress the rosebuds, we felt it. That familiar stomach-twisting sickness from raw power. Both of us tensed.

 Red lightening struck again, dancing in the center of the ring before us. It balled up, glowing brighter, and then went out entirely, revealing a tall man in strange armor made of heavenly metals and fangs and claws and hides of god beasts. A giant sword rested in his left hand, and a battle ax as broad as the queen’s shoulders rested in his right. Behind him was a cloaked figure I recognized as the commander of the war god’s army. She gave a nod to the queen and I, and we gave a nod back.

 “Well, mortal, I believe we have a score to settle. Yes?” the war god’s deep voice growled out slowly, mockingly. “It shouldn’t take us more than a minute.”

 I grinned up at him.

 “I would think not. I should have your ugly head ready for my wall in thirty seconds.”

 He howled out a laugh.

 “You think you can kill me?”

 “I think I can try and if I can’t then at least I can be an obstacle. I might even be able to make you bleed, or worse. Whose to know if we don’t fight?”

 He chuckled darkly with a smirk to match.

 “You will be lost in the land of the dead long before you make me bleed, mortal.”

 A dark smile of my own surfaced.

 “ I’m already as dead as my mercy. Come to think of it, you’re the one that killed me, on the inside anyways. You see, after you lose everything good in your life, all you can do is laugh. Laugh because you somehow managed to die along the way, but can’t remember where. But don’t worry, I have just enough mercy left in me to just make my vengeance killing you, instead of killing everyone you care about and turning you into a living ghost too.”

 He sneered at me.

 “Bold words for the empty shell of a pitiful creature. Don’t worry, I’ll put you out of your misery today. Witnesses! Begin the proceedings.”

 “Yes,” the queen and the general answered instantly.

 They both stepped back into the roses on opposite ends of the massive ring. Part of me wondered if they’d be okay, but it was a little late to take that into account now. They ran us through the dueling formalities, asking us to bow to each other, step back the appropriate number of steps, get into our stances, and then they began the count.

 “Three, two, one, you may begin.”

 They hadn’t even finished saying begin when the war god was bearing down on me, bringing both of his massive weapons down on each of my shoulders. I heard the queen scream, but I could only grin.

 Invincibility is a real good time. Whenever someone tries to maim you, they always end up taking the damage. I just wish I had clothes to support that fighting style. Well, the cost of this armor was nothing in comparison to the priceless look of shock on the dumbass’s face when his own divine weapons bounced off my bones and sunk into his shoulders.

 “H-how? What sorcerery is this?!” he hissed as he stumbled back.

 “Oh, I guess no one told you. What a pity, for you. I’m the last person you want to fight. Every time you hurt me, it just reverberates back to you. My friends call me Payback.”

 He laughed.

 “I see, I guess I’ll have to stop fighting you like a mortal, and fight you as an equal!”

 Lightening struck me and I felt it burn down to my bones. His weapons glowed red and he swung at me. Instinct kicked in and my body jerked out of the way, but the sword still caught my hand, leaving the first wound I had received on a battlefield in years.I retaliated with my own blade, going after joints and thinner spots of the armor. He blocked, dodged, countered, I ducked, rolled, and stabbed.

 The longer the deadly dance of steel and lightening strikes went, the more of my blood dripped onto the trampled grass and hardened earth.

 Ah. The one person I can’t defeat. Lovely.

 And despite myself, I started laughing at the thought. Laughing as I rolled under his ax’s head and came up right in front of him, only to be kicked in the gut by the boot. I went down, and red lightening made sure I stayed down. As I laid there, jerking uncontrollably, I heard the heavily armored boots advancing on me.

 Then, there was a bright white light.

 “Enough,” a woman’s voice echoed.

 “Out of my way, Life, the punk challenged me, not you.”

 “The battle has been decided, War, lay down your arms.”

 “It has not ended, it was a duel to the death.”

 I heard her laugh, laugh right in his face. Had to hand it to her, she had nerve. I respected that. As much as a person spasming in the dirt can respect anything, of course.

 “What’s so funny?” War demanded.

 “In accordance to the treaty we made with the humans, duels to the death are prohibited.”

 “Then why did you allow him to issue the challenge?!”

 “I assumed to accepted knowing that you weren’t allowed to kill.”

 “And if that mortal were to have defeated me, would you be hovering here in my defense as well?” he demanded.

 “Of course, of course, it is my duty to uphold the treaty. Now take your bow, do your boasting, and let us return.”

 I blacked out about half way through his big victory speech. Whether it was from boredom or the lightening still working its way through my body, I couldn’t say.

 When I woke up, I was laying on the floor in the queen’s office while she scribbled something down with her quill.

 “Still breathing?” she asked after a moment.

 “Yeah....”

 “Good.”

 There was a long stretch of silence between the tense good and the end of whatever it was she was writing. When she put the quill down, though, I knew I was in trouble. She slowly turned in her chair, rust eyes narrowing at me.

 “You know what? I’m gonna say it: you deserved that. You deserved all of that, including the awful speech he gave at the end of your duel. What kind of idiot challenges the war god to single combat? He’s the god of combat you twit!”

 And it was half way through her speech that I realized Life had even less mercy than I did.

#my writing #short story #fiction #fantasy #high fantasy #angst #battle scene #writeblr #writer #am writing #long short story #a story by Ren

[noconcernofyours]

5 Takeaways from Avengers: Endgame (WARNING: SPOILERS)

Here’s another one I didn’t really have a place to post, so it’s going up here. Hope you enjoy my Hot Takes™.

On Thursday I went down to my local cinema to watch Avengers: Endgame, the culmination of over a decade of continuous, intricate world-building and story-telling from the mind of Marvel Studios boss, Kevin Feige and co. This article is not a review of the movie. To be clear, I loved it and there are a million reasons why, but looking at it purely as a film doesn’t really make sense to me considering all of the factors that make Endgame more than just another Marvel movie.

Instead, here are five takeaways that I, as someone who has been seeing these films in the cinema since Iron Man released in 2008, have been sitting on since I walked out of the screening on Thursday night. WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

1.    Sam Wilson is the perfect successor to Steve Rogers. Fight me.

There are several major emotional themes that Endgame introduces throughout the film: parenthood, reconciliation, coping with one’s failures. But, as the film moves into its insanely climactic final battle sequence, a new theme starts to move to the front of the pack – a passing of the torch.

From Peter being the major emotional anchor of Tony Stark’s death scene to Captain Marvel mirroring Steve Rogers’ heroic yet futile act of holding Thanos’ hand open from Infinity War, and even to Hawkeye teaching his daughter to shoot a bow and arrow in the film’s emotionally fraught opening scene, there is a real sense that the most definitive way this film can wrap up the original team’s character arcs is by showing who is still there to take up their mantles.

I’ve seen a lot of angry takes complaining that Steve passed on the mantle of Captain America to Sam over Bucky. These takes… *clears throat*… are dead wrong. Bucky is just as out of time as Steve was, more so even, due to the amount of time he spent either in ice, or out of his mind. He’s also so unclear of his own identity that it makes no sense for him to adopt this mantle that is meant to be so clearly defined and inspiring, especially considering the amount of damage he’s done to the world. That same internal conflict is why Steve was so uncomfortable being Captain America for so long. The main argument, I guess, is that he has a closer relationship with Steve, but I would argue that this is an incorrect analysis of their relationship. One of the things clarified by the time travel sequence is how Steve’s relationship with Bucky wasn’t about friendship, or loneliness, but about one of the other themes of the film: failing to deal with one’s mistakes.

It makes so much more sense for Sam to take up the mantle because, arguably, he is Steve’s greatest achievement as Captain America. Steve’s deeds inspired Sam to act. His training made Sam, someone with no superpowers at all, a superhero and brought him to the highest echelons of the Avengers. He, like Steve, was a military volunteer, unlike Bucky who was drafted. And, like Steve, and perhaps most importantly, he doesn’t know how to exist without the next mission. Sam has been Captain America-in-waiting since his introduction in Winter Soldier.

2.    This film shouldn’t be nominated for best picture, but there are Oscar nominations that it does deserve

This last Oscar season was incredibly long, taxing and discursively toxic. One of the narratives in various online forums was a sense of discontent that Black Panther was nominated for best picture over Infinity War. Now, despite the fact that I thoroughly disagree with that feeling – Black Panther is one of the most narratively and thematically powerful superhero movies ever released and Infinity War has a thoroughly unpleasant message of abuse=love – there will, without a doubt be an Oscar narrative surrounding this landmark movie.

Let me set the record straight here: Endgame, whilst being an incredibly important moment in cinema, a hugely emotional watching experience, and a massive technical achievement, is not best picture material. Why? It doesn’t stand on its own. Without the background of the rest of the MCU propping it up, it couldn’t achieve nearly as much of the emotional impact that it did. For the same reason, I don’t think Return of the King should have been a best picture winner either. Sue me. The film also has some tonal issues that prevent it from landing all the emotional punches that a best picture nominee should have.

That being said, there are elements of Endgame that deserve recognition from the academy, and they are thus:

Robert Downey Jr.’s gut-wrenching performance as Tony Stark

Honestly, it does feel like Downey’s been playing this character in his sleep since Age of Ultron, but not here. This, for me, is his strongest performance put to film, and that’s all down to an awareness of how this character has changed since his debut in 2008. His meltdown scene after he is rescued at the start of the film is masterfully frightening and sad, made all the more so by his CGI-facilitated emaciated state.

Alan Silvestri’s genius score

Alan Silvestri is an incredible film composer; this much is clear. While I loved his score for Infinity War, which was full of clever little twists on previously existing material, and stunning uses of silence, I did feel a little let down that some of the better leitmotifs from previous films weren’t utilised at all, particularly Captain America’s theme, which Silvestri wrote for The First Avenger back in 2011.

As of now, I understand why he made the decision to leave that out. It wasn’t studio interference, demanding overly aggressive aesthetic consistency. It was a choice made to enhance Steve’s character development. We haven’t heard Steve’s theme since Winter Soldier, because he hasn’t really been Captain America since that film. The moment in Endgame that brought me closest to ugly crying in the cinema was when Tony handed Cap back his shield, and we finally heard that theme again. Silvestri has been paying attention in a major way, and probably deserves a writing credit for every movie in which Steve Rogers has appeared since 2011 because of it. Thanos’ theme is terrifying and beautiful too. Give. This. Man. All. The. Awards.

3.    Guardians of the Galaxy needs a soft reboot, Ragnarok style

I hate the Guardians. I hate all of them… well… except Gamora and Nebula, but the former was done dirty in Infinity War, and the latter pretty much finished her character arc in Endgame. All the other ones are either funny window dressing (Rocket, Groot, Mantis), or outright intolerable (Starlord, Drax). One thing that made me enjoy Endgame so much more than Infinity War, was that I didn’t have to watch the Guardians’ unbearable antics for the majority of the movie. It was a small reprieve from the dick jokes, backwards character development, unfunny temper tantrums and relentless stupidity.

The end of the film sets up the future involvement of Thor in the next Guardians movie. I hope to god that means they’ll bring Taika Waititi on board to help write the new movie with James Gunn. I’m glad Disney made the right decision to bring Gunn back after his premature dismissal, but after the catastrophe that was Guardians of the Galaxy, vol.2, and the negative impact the characters have had on Infinity War, I think someone with the creative instincts of Waititi needs to be brought on to help make these characters into people again. Thor joining the team is a chance to make that happen.

4.    Marvel did ScarJo dirty

Ugh. Every member of the original team got a proper ending, except ScarJo, who got fridged. I’m a huge Hawkeye stan, but Black Widow should not have been tossed off (literally!) in order to develop his character in the way they did. To make matters worse, she doesn’t even get a funeral! Just a little nod at the end from the guy who she died to save. After everything that happened with Gamora in Infinity War, I can’t believe the Russo brothers, who did so much to develop this character in Winter Soldier, were okay with giving Black Widow a death that was not only meaningless, but so similar to the woman they killed in the last movie.

Come on!!!

5.    Endgame wrapped up 10 years of movies so perfectly that I don’t have to care what they do next anymore

All that being said, it really doesn’t matter anymore, does it? Over the last few years, I’ve gotten increasingly frustrated with the MCU. With the exception of Black Panther and Ant-Man and the Wasp¸ every film in the series since Captain America: Civil War has been a bit of a let-down for me. I hated Guardians 2, I was left feeling a little empty after Ragnarok and Infinity War, and Spider-Man: Homecoming was the biggest disappointment in the entire series that came close to ruining the character for me.

What’s so special about Endgame, is that it so neatly and powerfully brings to a close the narrative arcs of (nearly) all of the characters I’ve cared about since the MCU’s beginning over a decade ago. It, surprisingly enough, is a legitimate jumping-off point. If I were so inclined, I could be content to never see a Marvel Studios film again because most of the threads I was invested in have been tied up.

It also seems unlikely that they’ll be building to a huge single-narrative conclusion for a long, long while. How could they? Endgame was a movie a decade in the making, and I suspect it’ll be another decade before they get to anything that could rival the emotional resonance of their latest achievement. What comes next will, undoubtedly, feel substantially different than what came before, and therefore, probably isn’t targeted at me or others in my position. If I fancy seeing a new Marvel film, I will, but I highly doubt that by skipping one I’m going to feel like I’m missing out in the same way I would have done if I’d missed any of the last 22 MCU movies.

The greatest gift Endgame has given me, is a way out of the vicious circle of Marvel movie discourse. I can rest now.

#Avengers #avengers endgame #Endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #MCU #robert downey jr #alan silvestri

[aaronexplainsitall]

what (who) is Mks?? (I swear i googled but it came up with a productivity solutions firm rip in peace)

Ah, to tell the story of MKS, I must tell the story of the band of legend, the Sugababes. Are you sitting comfortably children? Good, then I’ll begin. 

Once upon a time, in a magical land named ‘Britain’, there was a mythical band, born of legend, known as the Spice Girls. Together, they conquered the world, bringing girl power back to a dire pop landscape filled with moody American boy bands and turgid R&B. They were on a quest to spread the message of girl power and pop music far and wide, and to everyone’s shock and awe, they were successful! 

But then, one fateful day, their kingdom began to crumble around them and they went their separate ways to pursue far less inspiring and interesting solo careers (except Geri because Scream if You Wanna Go Faster is a bop you can @ me if you disagree you’re wrong). A dark cloud fell over pop music and for 100 days and 100 nights the kingdom of Britain descended into the coldest winter it has ever known. 

Then, the evil men in the record companies hatched a dastardly plan. What if, they wondered, another band could rise up to take the infamous Spice Girls’ place? What if, they continued, we threw away everything that made the Spice Girls wonderful, and unique, and although they were manufactured actually quite organic in a way if you really stop and think about what organic even means in the context of pop music? What if, they squealed, we could RECREATE the Spice Girls with music that wasn’t as good and girls who weren’t as inspiring, FOR MONEY? 

They all wet themselves in unison when they thought of all the money they’d make. 

And so a new generation of girl bands rose from the ashes of the Spice Girls. Some were Genuinely Fantastic (Girls Aloud), some were Pretty Abysmal (B*Witched), some were So Terrible They Were Actually Quite Enjoyable (Atomic Kitten). But none were quite like the Sugababes. 

Three working class girls, Mutya, Keisha and Siobhan, were walking home from school one day when they stumbled into a deep, dark recording studio owned by nefarious sea witch Ron Tom. “Come, my pretties,” croaked Ron Tom, “I will make you rich and famous and beyond your wildest dreams!” “Um, cool?” said the girls in unison, “we’d sort of rather just sing though, because we’re all quite good at it?” Ron Tom laughed, and laughed, and laughed. What a funny joke, he thought. 

The three girls became known as the Sugababes, because originality wasn’t important to Ron Tom or the sea witch overlords at London Records, and to everyone’s Shock! And Surprise! they released a Really Very Good Indeed first album. However, because the general public are largely morons, they sold roughly 17 copies of their RVGI first album. The sea witch and his overlords were most displeased. 

Meanwhile, the Sugababes had bigger problems. Fighting! Arguing! Chaos! Like so many bands before them, they had fallen prey to the cancer which rips through pop groups… Infighting. No one really knows what went on behind the closed doors of Ron Tom’s ocean cavern, but legend says that the youngest Sugababe, Keisha, bullied the whitest Sugababe, Siobhan, so viciously that she escaped the ocean cavern by crawling out of a window (that bit apparently actually did happen you can look it up not the ocean cavern mind you but the window). 

The sea witch overlords were most displeased and they dropped the Sugababes. 

But! A shining ray of hope at the end of the tunnel appeared! Atlantic Records swept ashore a new contract and a brand new member, Heidi! Heidi was perfect, the slightly less withered sea witch overlords at Atlanic Records promised! She had been in ATOMIC KITTEN, they gushed! She would make you LIKEABLE, the cried! WHAT IS THE POINT IN LIVING IF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE YOU, they screeched, their masks falling slightly and their sea witch overlord noses poking out! 

And so for four blissful years, the Sugababes ruled British pop. They sold a lot more than 17 copies of their next three albums, each one going double platinum, and scoring 5 number one singles. They had made POP MUSIC, they sea overlords cackled, that GROWN UPS AND CHILDREN could listen to. They wet themselves again, because of how much money they were making. 

But the Sugababes were Unhappy. Rumours of infighting, bullying, ferocious arguments about Britney Spears’ Toxic (you can look that up too that’s true as well) followed them wherever they went, and they were branded moody, miserable, nasty, mean girls. How awful, cried the British press, festering in pools of their own shit, that women would not be instantly likeable? IT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED, they howled, shit filling their mouths. 

So the Sugababes were dogged by bad press and quite possibly the fact that they actually didn’t really like each other because okay they were quite different people all things considered, and eventually, after the birth of her first child, Mutya left the band. 

Darkness fell across the kingdom once again. What would the sea witch overlords do now? Their pot of gold appeared to be washing out to sea, and who, oh who, would bring it back to them. 

Until a second dastardly plan was hatched. Why not, wondered the sea witch overlords, just replace her? It worked once? Beyoncé did it 412 times with her back up dancers in Destiny’s Child? We couldn’t get away with it… they wondered… could we? They did. Amelle was introduced to the band, and in a strange twist of fate, she was exactly like Mutya, only not quite as good, but really who was paying attention anyway?

And for another four years, the Sugababes trundled along, not quite as magical as they once were, but equally commercially successful, so WHO CARED? They pocketed more number one singles and platinum albums, made more money, faced more press scrutiny for supposedly not being perfect little ladies who always smiled and curtsied, business continued as usual. 

But before our Babes of Suga could count their considerable number of coins, a new evil appeared on the horizon… infamous shit monger, Jay-Z, and his band of cretins, Roc Nation. Like so many before and after them, the Sugababes were seduced by the bright lights and empty promises of Roc Nation. “I’ll make you a star!” cried Jay-Z, stroking Becky’s good hair. “I’ll make your wildest dreams come true!” The babes were seduced. 

And so Roc Nation and Jay-Z set to work stripping away everything that made the Sugababes unique and interesting and replacing it with literal festering garbage produced by RedOne, who by now it was known, wasn’t actually an interesting musician but had been bolstered by the considerable talent of Lady Gaga and got the credit for Just Dance, Poker Face and Bad Romance because he was a Man and she was a Woman, so he had to be the brains of the operation, right? 

The Sugababes became a national laughing stock, and their ‘comeback’ single, the appropriately awfully titled Get Sexy, was ridiculed far and wide across the land of Great Britain. The British press rolled around in their own shit laughing uproariously. “Ha, ha, ha!” the cried, “How we love to tear women down!” their own shit caked in their own hair. 

But a worse disaster would surely fall upon our Sugababes. Amidst the critical disaster of their new material, two of the Babes were scheming and plotting against the other, whom the goblins at Roc Nation were said to have favoured over the two other bitter and forgotten members of the group. Amelle and Heidi launched a plan, a dastardly, dastardly plan to oust the only remaining founding member of the band and seize the glory for themselves. 

They crept quietly into the sea witch’s cave. 

They tiptoed silently up the cracked stone steps. 

They shuffled noiselessly across to the sleeping sea witch. 

They whispered breathlessly into his ear. 

“Oh sea witch, we’ve been so sad,” they intoned, “The nasty girl has been so bad. Send her away, sea witch,” they begged. 

The sea witch woke with a start, and immediately set to work carrying out the wishes of Bitter Babes because he didn’t have the foresight to imagine what a monumental cock-up that would turn out to be, despite literally every other person who worked in the industry at the time saying, “hmm, maybe don’t do that, because she’s the last founding member of the group and the shit gremlins from The Sun and The Daily Mail might just assassinate you?” 

But listen he did not, and Keisha had been sent away in a cloud of shame and dishonour. The shit gremlins at The Sun and The Daily Mail (and even the slightly less shit-covered gremlins at publications like The Guardian, which was quite interesting really, because who’d have thought The Guardian would care about this really?) stayed true to form, and fired off their canons of diarrhoea in the direction of the sea witch’s cavern. 

Keisha was replaced by someone who’s name I genuinely can’t remember and that should tell you all you need to know about her, and the kingdom of the Sugababes crumbled in a heap of total and utter misery and mediocrity. Their final album, released without Keisha, received such rave reviews as “bland, soulless, and repetitive”, and the Roc Nation goblins promptly dropped the band on their shiny behinds. 

The nation of Great Britain wept. In the streets, the children screamed. The profits cried, and the poets dreamed. Not a work was spoken, the church bells all were broken. Who would save us from this misery? Who would restore peace to our land? 

Three long, dark years passed. Years characterised by no joy, no laughter, no love. 

But then, just as the land had given up hope, and collectively lay down to die, on the New Year’s Eve of 2013, a miracle happened. In a tiny club in Central London, three young women took to the stage for the first time in 12 years, with one simple mission. To save pop music. 

Mutya. 

Keisha. 

Siobhan. 

The original Sugababes (now called MKS for a variety of legal reasons but of course they branded it as the desire for a fresh start and no one really argued because WHO CARED THEY WERE BACK) had reformed. Ne’er a brighter day had shone across our fair land. They grass grew back, the trees blossomed, our winter of discontent had ended. 

They toured, performing Sugababes songs both old and new, taking a fresh control of their legacy and promising the nation that they’d be remembered not as the band who kept splitting up, but the band who GOT BACK TOGETHER! OH HAPPY DAY! That summer the three young women released the finest pop song known to man, ‘Flatline’, ahead of their sure-to-be unstoppable return album. Nothing could go wrong, nothing stood in their way now, the saviours of pop music had arrived in the world’s unlikeliest trio! Anything felt POSSIBLE!

and then they split up again without releasing the album because no one bought the fucking single the end

#This took me an hour to write #I need a life #ASAP #sugababes #MKS #pop music

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

One of His Best Kittens (3) - Plag Appreciation Week, Day 3: Cat nap

Day 1  Day 2  |Day 3|  Day 4  Day 5  Day 6  Day 7

Warning: Contains spoilers to season 2.

Also on AO3 / fanfiction.net

Day 3: Cat nap

High up the skateboard ramps of Adrien’s room, right next to the hot pipes delivering water to the upper floor of the mansion Plagg made himself a nest. The place was perfect. Secluded but providing a strategic view to the whole room. Warm, sunny for most of the day. Plus it faced away from those four giant screens Adrien never needed but used simultaneously anyway. That was his sacred cat-nap zone, a place he valued almost as much as his beloved trash can.

Adrien knew better than to bother him, when the black cat rested in his zone. Unless there was a literal catastrophe (pun not only unintended but also scowled at, as Adrien used it too often), the boy left his kwami to his own devices and not even once intruded his space up the ramps.

But lately Plagg found his rests more fulfilling when he wasn’t napping alone. Those weren’t frequent occasions, as during most days the black kwami traveled wherever Adrien went – to school, photoshoots, various activities or akuma battles. But almost every night now, usually around midnight he heard telltale tingling his butterfly friend made as he phased through the wall and into the cat-nap zone. Sometimes they talked and plotted their plans of sabotaging Hawk Moth’s efforts and supporting Ladybug and Chat Noir in their mission. But most often Nooroo just silently curled up next to Plagg and released a sigh of relief, before falling asleep. He was gone before dawn, just minutes before Adrien’s alarm went off.

Plagg could already see those nights and his own company had a clear effect on his fellow kwami. Nooroo’s wings regained their smooth edges. His complexion, although still unnaturally lavender at least ceased to look unhealthy. And that cheeky sparkle in his eyes was back. Morover Plagg noted with satisfaction, that lately Hawk Moth’s performances lacked inspiration. Powers that were granted proved useless or blew the moth wielder in the face. The black cat could listen for hours to Nooroo retelling time after time how much fun it had been to watch Hawkie dodging rockets and tripping over fragments of missiles that attacked him in his own lair.

But that night instead of dozing off next to Nooroo Plagg woke up to a very uncomfortable feeling of being pressed into the butterfly kwami to tightly for comfort while his bedding seemed soaked with water. Someone was sobbing next to him, a warm kwami body trembling with sniffles and squeezing the air out of his lungs. Only one creature in the world could cry like that.

‘Duusu, I can’t breathe,’ he wheezed and the pressure on his chest dropped immediately.

‘Oh, Plagg!’ the peacock kwami wailed, new tears rolling from his eyes. ‘You’re finally awake! I’m so glad I found you and Roo here!’

The little cat nudged Nooroo with his elbow a few times, but the lavender bug was apparently too deep in his sleep to bother. If he didn’t mind the damp bed and being pressed into wall, he probably wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. Just Plagg’s luck, now he was stuck with the weeper.

‘Hi, Dus,’ he sighed. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’

The blue kwami sniffed a few times and smoothed his wet feathers. ‘How come you have a kwami sleepover and I wasn’t invited,’ he complained. Plagg thought it was intended as a joke, but there was little humor in miniature peacock’s reddened eyes.

‘Nice of you to drop by anyway,’ the little cat replied with a shrug and moved a bit to make some place for the new kwami in his cat-nap zone. ‘Here, have a seat,’ he patted the spot next to him and the furthest from Adrien’s bed. ‘Keep those feathers to yourself just in case. My Chosen is allergic and we don’t want a coughing fit drill at 2 AM.’

Duusu sat shyly on the edge of the bedding and picked on his tail in silence.

‘So, you’re no longer in the brooch,’ Plagg supplied, not sure what to make of this fact. He had a very unpleasant feeling he might not like the answer but he had to ask. ‘Who’s your holder?’

‘A woman. She didn’t tell me her name,’ the peacock kwami frowned. ‘I think she was tall but most humans are to me. She was wearing men clothes. Trousers! Is it normal now?’

‘Yeah, it’s called a suit. Some women like to wear those, others still stick to dresses and skirts. You’ll get used to it,’ said the self proclaimed expert on fashion.

‘There was a taller man with her,’ Duusu continued. ‘Pale hair, glasses, red trousers. You know them?’

‘We haven’t been introduced if that’s what you’re asking,’ Plagg rolled his eyes. ‘The man is Nooroo’s current holder and the woman is his assistant.’

‘Really? They never told me he had a miraculous, although I thought it was a bit suspicious,’ the blue kwami scratched his chin. ‘And they looked more like a couple to me.’

‘They are not a couple.’

‘Sorry, you know how it is when you’re summoned after a long time,’ the new kwami started to brush his tail sheepishly. ‘Maybe it’s normal now, but why does that man have his assistant’s portrait in that large chamber?’

The little cat blinked at him a few times trying to make some sense out of Duusu’s words. ‘What portrait?’

‘Large painting, between windows, the woman was not in that white suit thing she wore today but in a golden dress?’ the peacock ventured.

Plagg released a string of profanities and Duusu gasped. ‘Language, Plaggie!’

‘Okay,’ the black kwami sighed in exasperation. ‘Once again then. What does your new holder look like?’

‘Don’t you mean my Chosen?’ his blue friend raised his brows as high as the red dot on his forehead.

‘Dus, what does she look like!’

‘Long blonde hair, braided. Green eyes. Pale skin. I already said she was tall,’ the peacock recited.

Plagg narrowed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip to keep the next portion of expletives inside. ‘Shit,’ was all that managed to escape.

Duusu observed him in silence, absentmindedly tending to his tail.

‘What’s going on here, Plagg?’ He asked after a while. ‘I could practically smell Nooroo on that man, but they told me I was the only kwami here. That they possessed only my miraculous.’ He hiccupped a few times and soon started sobbing again. ‘They said something about miraculous chest falling into wrong hands after the temple was destroyed. I didn’t know it was destroyed! What about our friends? What about the guardians?’

And before the little cat could even think about answering Duusu was already a blubbering mess. ‘I don’t like it, Plagg. I don’t like them!’

‘Dus, please, calm down,’ Plagg tried to break through the wall of weeping, while staying silent. Dus? Dus!’ He whisper-yelled but the blue kwami was too deep in his galloping hysterics to listen.

So Plagg did the first thing that came to his mind. He started humming the song of kwami. It predated human concepts of music by millennia. Already harmonious before tones were even invented. Sweet, soothing sounds that once were the basis of kwami communication, before the language was forged by first homo sapiens. Human ear couldn’t pick all the sounds that made the song, although they were susceptible to its effect too.

Still humming the black kwami put his paw on Duusu’s lips to end his teary ramblings. The little peacock’s eyes widened in shock, but soon he started sway to the ancient rhythm and joined in. Plagg hummed and purred until he saw his blue friend’s eyelids close and his breath even. Soon the little peacock leaned into Plagg and fell asleep. The black kwami laid him gently next to Nooroo and Duusu instantly wrapped his arms around the butterfly.

There wasn’t much space left for him, but Plagg curled into a tight ball completing the cuddle pile in his cat-nap zone. He listened to the gentle snoring of his Chosen and silent whistles of the remaining two kwamis. Although he was always pleased to meet his friends, he couldn’t ignore the twisting of his stomach at the implications of Duusu’s presence. Every fiber of his being screamed at him in big green letters “Trouble ahead”.

This wasn’t exactly new to Plagg. It was kwami fate to always appear at times of trouble. What was new however, was how entwined the miraculous holders’ paths currently were, with Adrien at the centre of the network. Duusu and Nooroo being awake posed only as greater threat to Chat Noir. Poor kid suffered through enough in his short life, the black cat mused. It wasn’t fair that this was coming his way. Sooner or later the midden is going to hit the windmill and Plagg would rather not be the metaphorical Hercules to clean those Augeas’s stables. It had been already dreadful the first time round.

As the sleep finally claimed him, the black cat decided to put those thoughts for tomorrow, taking a mental note to get some extra helping of camembert just in case.

The credit for the idea of cat-nap zone goes to @kryallaorchid and her ameouwzing Tendencies series. I changed it a bit, but this is what came to me first when I thought about cat naps.

#Plagg Appreciation Week #We Are Miraculous #Plagg #Nooroo #Duusu #ml fic #Miraculous Ladybug #One of His Best Kittens #Day 3: Cat nap

[readingraebow]

The Prestige Section Two

Part 3 - Part 4: July 12, 1900

1. Who visits the Angier family and why do they come? When Kate was two, Clive Borden visits her parents and brings Nicky, who was then two, along. The kids are shuffled off upstairs to play together for most of the afternoon while the adults talked downstairs. Because Kate was small, she doesn't know exactly what went on but she tries to piece things together. She thinks this was yet another attempt to patch things up between the two families. Clive is the great-grandson of Alfred Borden and Kate's father is the great grandson of Rupert Angier. And, later, when Kate realizes this, she realizes that makes Nick her rival. And the meeting honestly doesn't go well? By the time they all sit down to dinner, the kids aren't exactly behaving and that annoys the adults and makes them turn on each other. The kids are then shuffled out of the room again as the adults are left to fight.

2. What happens to Nicky in the cellar? So Kate's parents take Clive down to the cellar to show him Angier's machine. This was, apparently, what they'd been arguing about. So Kate's father turned it on and got in it and the lightning swirled around him and such. Well he started yelling at Clive to get in it because that's what he wanted. So Clive was holding Nicky and handed him to Kate's father. Well Kate's father ended up throwing Nicky into the machine and it killed him. Kate and her sister had snuck down after the adults and watched the whole thing. And at this point, their mother ushered them back upstairs. But they watched Clive clutching Nicky's lifeless body. So after that, the police were never called and Kate's parents told them that the police wouldn't be involved. And they never knew what happened to Nicky's body but they assumed Clive took it with them. It was only after she grew that Kate realized all of this was weird.

3. What is Nicky's relationship to Andrew? They think that's Andrew's twin. Or, rather, Andrew thinks Nicky is his twin. Kate thinks that they're somehow the same person. She thinks that Andrew is Nicky and that he somehow survived that night. But Andrew said that since he stepped foot in that house, he has felt a stronger connection to his twin. It's like his twin is somehow still there and still connected to the house. And since there's no record that Andrew ever had a twin, there might be a chance that because of the accident that night, the records were altered to erase Nicky's existence.

4. What event in Angier's life changes his circumstances? How does he retaliate? His father dies and his brother inherits the estate. Well, his brother decides to completely uproot their lives and basically kicks their mother out of the house (giving her a small cottage on the estate). He allows Rupert to stay in the rooms he presently occupies until he finishes school. Then he decides that Rupert may remain until he's twenty-one since he's technically his guardian until then. However, Rupert moves to his own lodgings but will still receive an allowance from his brother until he's twenty-one. His brother decided to keep the entire fortune for himself and basically not share it with either his mother or brother so Rupert will have to support himself after he's twenty-one. So he starts his career as an illusionist. However, it doesn't really go well until he meets a woman named Julia and she helps him with his performance. They also begin to perform a mentalist act which does help them make some money while Rupert practices and perfects his illusionist act.

5. What caused Angier's vendetta against Borden? So the Angiers discovered Julia was pregnant and by that time, they'd started conducting séances for a small fee this is where Angier's story begins to align with Bordens. So they'd started interviewing assistants to replace Julia during her pregnancy but hadn't found one suitable. So Julia was still assisting on the day when Borden appeared for the second time. During his struggle to expose Angier, Borden shoved Julia and she fell. Well she insisted she was alright and went to bed that night. But she ended up waking up bleeding and they had to rush her to the hospital where she had emergency surgery. She lost the baby and almost died herself. And, thus, Angier's vendetta against Borden began: because he caused the loss of their child. Which Borden, apparently, never even knew.

6. What makes Angier return to his diary after a ten year absence? So after Borden caused Julia's miscarriage, their feud went strong for a while but when Angier's anger eventually calmed down, he stopped fighting. But then Borden shows up at one of Angier's shows and ends up being one of the volunteers during part of the performance. It was during an illusion involving Angier being tied to a chair and six volunteers from the audience tying the knots. Angier and the chair are then lowered into a water tank where Angier is to escape. But Borden both distracted Angier and tied his knot way too tight. So Angier couldn't get out and almost drowned. Thankfully, it was realized in time and he was pulled to safety but it did ruin the show. And Angier felt that Borden tried to kill him and it renewed his anger once more and restarted the fire in the feud all over again.

7. Who is Root and what is the problem with him? When Angier replaced Borden for a booking, he read the contract and saw that a replacement act should be as similar to the act it was replacing as can be. So Angier decided he would try to incorporate Borden's Transported Man illusion. So he found a double: Root. Well, the illusion went well and for a while, it was a sensation. It was requested at all of Angier's bookings and could even double his earnings when performed. However, Root was a heavy drinker and would often show up to shows drunk. Angier tried to talk to him but it literally didn't work. Because assistants know a lot of secrets so they have a lot of power. And when Angier tried to talk to him, he ended up giving Root a raise. But then Borden went on a tour of Europe and without Borden to compete with, Angier no longer needed to include the illusion in his act so he discontinued it and fired Root.

8. How does Borden update his Transported Man illusion? So Angier started performing the illusion again but with a different double. But the audience wasn't impressed? That's when he heard that Borden had changed his act and his illusion was now much better. So Angier visited one of Borden's performances to see how the illusion had changed. Borden incorporated electricity into his act and he would grab two heavy wires and bring them together to make an electrical connection. Then he would vanish from where he was standing (the two wires falling to the floor) and instantly reappear on the other side of the stage. And then, once moved, he produces a flower chosen by an audience member earlier in the show. And Angier doesn't know how it's done but, at this point, thinks that Borden doesn't use a double.

9. What plan does Olivia propose? What is in the envelope she eventually gives Angier? Borden has been advertising for an assistant so Olivia plans to apply for the position. She means to go work for Borden, learn the secret behind his Transported Man illusion and come back and tell Angier. Because she realizes that all Angier really wants. But Olivia leaves and doesn't come back. She sends for all her things without a word to Angier. And, eventually, when she does come to visit him to explain, she tells him he must end his feud with Borden and, if he agrees, she will give him the envelope containing Borden's secret. Angier agrees and when he opens the envelope, printed inside is one word: Tesla.

10. After receiving the envelope, where does Angier go and why do you think he does this? Angier goes to Colorado Springs to meet Nikola Tesla. He goes, presumably, to discover Borden's secret for himself. But he ends up learning a lot about electricity and Tesla's contribution to it. He ends his first visit by Tesla inviting him back and Angier saying he has a proposition. So I think Angier wants Tesla to build him a machine like Borden's.

  Section Two Reading Journal

Okay so. I’m still not really ~loving this book. But I’m also not hating it either. Some parts of it I think are really good but some parts just feel really unnecessary. I still really don’t like the grandkids bit. I think that feels really unnecessary. You can very easily create the same twist with the magicians, as seen in the movie.

Angier’s journals, however, are fascinating and I’ve really been loving reading them. I do like that, with the book, we get more of each magician’s side of the feud rather than just seeing the whole thing more straightforward, as in the movie. Seeing it from two different perspectives is fascinating. It feels like you get to know each of the magicians a little better.

However, there are a few very bit changes in Angier’s story. In the movie, the feud started because of Julia’s death. But in the book, Borden causes Julia to miscarry. I honestly think Julia’s death is a little more powerful?? Especially since she’s essentially what started Angier’s career since she critiqued him a lot and worked with him in the earlier stages. That’s just a personal preference but when I read that I was like ????? That doesn’t seem as powerful to me???

Also. Let’s talk about Tesla. Because now I’m super curious. I know we won’t have an answer to this until the next section but Borden also worked with Tesla??? Is he cloning too?? Because I don’t like that as much....? And honestly if that’s what’s happening here... if Angier gets a machine built that’s just like Borden’s and literally just exactly copies him and they’re both cloning, I’m honestly going to be upset. Because I don’t like that at all....? But I’ll have more on that if that’s what’s really happening here. So I guess to be continued after I read the next section.

Honestly, I think I would’ve liked this more if I hadn’t seen the movie first. But since I have, I definitely see a lot of flaws with this book and a lot of things I think the movie did better. So it’s making it really difficult for me to enjoy this book. But, as I said, I’m not hating it. I’m just not really loving it either. But I can’t wait to finish and see what happens!

#trcbooks #2015: the prestige #2015 reading challenge