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lovesosweeet · 7 months

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better left unsaid // cth chapter seven

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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july 21, 2018 los angeles, california calum

One of the things that my girlfriend loves most in this entire world is going to Trader Joe's. Despite going every week, without fail, she gets excited each time. She calls it our weekly adventure and demands we get fun drinks beforehand to 'sip while we stroll.'

Knowing how excited she gets, I'm happy to oblige. I love making her happy. We're about to go this afternoon, but this time, not to get our standard groceries — she wants to get snacks for the party we're having tonight. I tried to say we could just order a few pizzas and nobody would be upset about it, but that set her off more, saying the frozen pizzas at Trader Joe's are elite and it's an insult to Joseph himself if we don't get those instead of something from Domino's.

We've spent the morning cleaning the apartment, clearing out the fridge to make room for drinks, and dancing to The Band Camino, one of her favorites. Well, Orion danced, I laughed at her. I'm trying to soak in the rest of our time together before I leave.

"Are you ready?" O calls out from the bathroom. She's drying her hair after our shower, something that takes her a while because it's so long and heavy.

I pop my head into our bathroom. "Yep, whenever you are."

She smiles at me in the mirror. Her hair is dry now, and she's weaving it into a loose braid.

"Want help?" I ask.

Her smile grows. "Yes, please. It always looks better when you do it."

I chuckle. I don't think it ever looks any different when I do it instead of her, but she always seems to love when I offer, so I try to do it whenever I can. I stride into the room, standing directly behind her, almost a full head taller than she is. She undoes the small amount of braiding she'd already done and then hands me her brush.

Carefully, I run the brush through her long, dark brown hair. The ends of it are slightly lighter from all the time she's spent in the sun this summer. Once it's brushed again, I separate it into three sort of equal parts and start to braid. I focus on the braid, but when I glance up from her hair, I see that she's got her phone out, taking a selfie in the mirror.

"Ay, no paparazzi!"

Orion giggles, taking a few more pictures before she puts her phone face down on the counter. "Sorry, you just look so cute when you focus."

I feel my cheeks get warm and ignore her comment, already almost done with her hair. She anticipates my next move and holds a hairtie out to me, which I quickly tie around the end to secure the braid.

"All done," I cheer, smiling at her in the mirror. I love when she has her hair back. I swiftly kiss the top of her head and wrap my arms around her waist, setting my head on top of hers.

"Thank you," she says, brightly beaming at me through the mirror. "Shall we pay a visit to Trader Joseph's?"

"Yep, let's go." I then turn around and squat down, and I hear Orion laugh behind me. "Hop on!"

"No, I will not hop on." I swear I can hear her roll her eyes.

"Hop on!"

"No!"

"If you don't, I'm still gonna carry you."

"Cal, I can walk!"

"You can, but not right now." I turn around, and she tries to sneak past me, but I'm faster, and stronger, and I lean forward, picking her up easily and throwing her over my shoulder.

She smacks my butt instantly. Predictable. "Nice ass, Hood."

"Says you," I reply, holding her steady with one arm and using the other to pat hers in turn.

I carry her to the kitchen, her laughter filling the whole apartment as I purposefully walk unsteadily, making her bounce on my shoulder. God, I love her laugh.

I gently set her down on the island in the kitchen, parting her legs and slotting in between them. Instantly, almost instinctively, she drapes her arms around my neck and her hands find my hair. My hands rest on her hips and I look into her doe-like eyes.

"I thought we were leaving?" Orion asks, running her hands through my hair.

"Where did you want to go to get drinks first?"

"Can we go to the place that has the cookie milk? Their lattes are always fun."

A fun drink. Orion loves her fun drinks. Her Instagram bio is literally "probs getting a fun lil drinky".

"Yeah, of course."

Even though we've decided, I don't move.

"Are we gonna go?" She sounds kind of impatient now, but she's still sweetly playing with my hair and looking at me intently, studying my face.

"One rule."

She snorts a small laugh. "What's your rule?"

"I get to buy you flowers at the store."

For some reason, Orion says I'm only allowed to buy her flowers on special occasions. It doesn't make sense, because she loves them. She also doesn't even like expensive flowers — her favorite is chamomile. It's just some odd rule she's had as long as we've been together, and when you care about someone as much as I do Orion, you learn to accept some of their silly little rules.

She purses her lips, rolls her eyes, and nods. "Fine, sure."

I grin. "Sweet, let's go get coffee."

I help her off the counter and we walk to the door together, Orion slinging her purse over her shoulder and I shove my wallet into my pocket.

"What shoes do you want, love?" I ask, opening our closet by the door where we keep shoes and our jackets. I grab my favorite, worn out Adidas and slip them on, not bothering to tie and untie them.

"Hmm, you pick."

My favorite answer. I grab her light blue Vans and start to untie them while I bring them over to her.

"Want me to put them on?" I don't even wait for her answer before I kneel in front of her. Orion chuckles, lifting her foot for me to slide the shoe on, and then the other, and then I start tightening the laces.

"How am I going to survive without you here? How will I put my shoes on?!"

"Obviously you'll just go barefoot, silly."

She chuckles and holds her hands out to me to help me stand back up. I don't let go of one of her hands and lace our fingers together before Orion is pulling me out the door, locking it behind us swiftly and leading us over to the elevator.

When the doors open, Macy is inside with a woman who looks strikingly similar to her, presumably her mum. She lights up when she sees us, and Orion does too.

"Macy! Oh my goodness, I can't believe I didn't think to invite you sooner," O starts, and here she goes, being her friendly, inclusive self. "We're having a party tonight. You should totally come, if you can! It's a little celebration for the tour."

Macy glances toward her mother, who seems totally disinterested. "I think I can come! Is it just in your apartment?"

Orion nods enthusiastically while she presses the button to close the elevator doors. "Yep, just in our apartment. We're 404. It starts at 7 but you can really come anytime after 5. Oh! And, the theme is black and white, so just don't wear any color if you can."

Macy agrees to come, and says she's looking forward to it, and then we're walking through the lobby. Macy and her mum head to the street, but Orion and I are going to the parking garage, so we tell them to have a good day and head to my car.

In the car, O hooks her phone up to the aux and she starts playing old 5 Seconds of Summer songs, which she knows I do not enjoy listening to. After I beg her to change it, she then plays really old One Direction, which is musically worse but less of a cringey experience for me, so I accept it. She's just doing it to be obnoxious, but her laughter is worth the pain of listening to "I Want" and "Save You Tonight."

We get our coffee — Orion got the most obscure sounding cookie latte thing and I just got an unsweetened iced latte — and I take a quick photo of her grinning with her drink. The coffee shop is quite close to the store, so we just leave the car parked near the cafe and walk the block and a half to Trader Joe's, where Orion is like a kid in the candy store.

As soon as we get in, I grab the only three bunches of chamomile that are left in the flower section and place them in the cart. Orion tries to hide it, but she's happy about it. We stop at the new items end cap next, and O grabs some random box of fancy crackers from the shelf.

"It'll be good with the honey goat cheese!" She explains, throwing the box into the cart.

I let her lead me, and when she asks me to pick between two things, I just let her get both. Orion picks out a wide assortment of dips and spreads, cheeses, crackers, some fruits, cookies, and, naturally, several of the frozen pizzas she ranted about earlier. We don't get any booze here, but we do buy some of the fancy sodas and sparkling waters to offer some non-alcoholic options.

After Orion decides we've gotten enough snacks for the party, we check out and drop everything off at the car before running to the liquor store quickly to grab a few cases of beer, bottles of wine, and large bottles of cheap vodka and tequila.

We get everything home and it takes us a few trips to get it up to the apartment and into the fridge, but we're able to do it before the frozen food starts to thaw.

"I'm gonna chop up the cheeses and stuff now so it's ready to go."

"Can I help?" I ask, watching her get out a cutting board and knife and lay out the cheeses.

She shakes her head no. "Nah, but if you wanna maybe figure out where to put the disco balls and the little light thingies?"

We didn't even invite that many people, at least not comparatively to parties that we’ve thrown in the past, but Orion really wanted to at least have a few decorations, and that meant some small disco balls to scatter throughout the place and colored lights to shine at them. The disco balls are fun, and she promised she'd find a way to incorporate them into the apartment's regular decor too.

A few hours later, everything's ready to go and the first two pizzas are in the oven. Orion has changed out of her workout set into a long, silky, lacy black dress that hangs off her body in a way that I could stare at for ages. Of course, she's wearing sneakers with it, as always. Her hair is still in the braid that I did earlier, but a few strands have fallen out and frame her face.

I'm wearing what we refer to as "The Shirt™" and black pants with black boots. The Shirt™ is the one I had on the night Orion and I met. I don't wear it often, because I don't want the stain to completely wash out, and technically I'm breaking the rules of wearing only black and white, since it's covered in a purple stain. My outfit honestly may be exactly what I had on the night I met O.

The first knock on the door comes at 6:21, even though we'd told everyone the party starts at 7, but naturally, we don't mind. Orion runs to answer the door since she's closer, and she swings it open to reveal Ash and KayKay.

"Hi!" She says, instantly pulling them into a mini group hug. "How are you!?"

"Excited to be here," Ash says. "Did you shrink?" He pats the top of her head, making her scowl at him.

"Play nice," Kay comments. "Hey Cal!"

"Hi guys." I give them both a hug as well, and they step into the apartment a few more feet. Just as I go to close the door, Macy steps out of the elevator. She waves when she sees me and I nod, holding the door open a bit wider. "Hi, Macy!"

Macy is carrying a plate of brownies. "Hello," she singsongs. "Sorry, I know you said it was okay to come early, but please tell me if I'm too early, I can just go back—"

"Macy!" Orion yells excitedly. If I didn't know her, I'd think she was drunk based on her excitement, but she's not had anything to drink whatsoever today. "You're totally fine! You're, as you can see, not the first person to get here. Ash, Kay, this is Macy. Her parents live in the building."

Our neighbor looks nervous as she waves. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

"You look so familiar," Kay starts. "Have we met?"

Macy still seems quite nervous and she looks thoughtful after Kay's question, squinting her eyes a bit while she tries to think. "Maybe? You look so familiar too, but maybe I've just seen you online amidst 5SOS fandom." She laughs anxiously, and then her eyes widen, realizing she just admitted being a fan who looks at things about us online. It’s funny, and I don’t mind. Macy has been very cool whenever we’ve interacted, so naturally I just like that she’s a fan. It’s nice to meet fans. "Wait, sorry, I promise I'm not a crazy fan or anything, I just meant..."

Orion chuckles and reaches out to grab the brownies from Macy. "You're good, Mace. I know you're normal." She has the tray in her hands and then she's walking and talking on her way to the kitchen. "Does anyone want a drink? We've got lots!"

Everyone follows Orion to the kitchen, rattling off what they'd like to drink. She's cute when she's like this — taking care of people. Getting them drinks and making them feel comfortable and welcome. I love that she loves to take care of people.

More and more people show up, Orion welcoming everyone with a cheery greeting and getting drinks in their hands as quickly as she can. I try to say hello to as many people as I can, but there's no way I can match her energy and enthusiasm.

"Michael!" I hear her yell from by the door, but this isn't a happy one, she sounds annoyed. "We had one rule!"

I take a few steps so I can see the door from the living room and see Mike standing in the threshold, wearing a red flannel. Crystal, next to him, is wearing a black and white striped dress, so she followed the rules.

"This is my party! I can wear what I want!"

"This is not your party! This is my home!"

I chuckle, walking over to help Orion stand her ground, not that she needs my help. She's pretty intimidating when she's mad, although, right now, she's not actually mad. She's annoyed, but she's not mad.

"Oi, Mike, it's not your party,” I chime in, making him glare at me.

Michael laughs, a bit sarcastically. "It's literally a party to celebrate the tour for the band! I am in the band!"

Orion crosses her arms over her chest. "What exactly have you done to make this party happen, sir? Nothing. It's not your fucking party."

Crystal is trying her best not to laugh while Mike and O go at it, but I'm not even trying to hold it back. It's pretty funny to watch them go back and forth.

"It's a party for my band! Name one thing you've contributed to the band. Without the band, there is no party."

Orion scoffs. "How many of your songs has Cal written about me again? Didn't you just tell me a few weeks ago it was 'loads of songs'?"

Mike scoffs back, and Crystal finally cracks, letting out a few quiet chuckles, making him glare at her. "Fine. Whatever. I broke the rules. I'm sorry, O."

Orion grins with her victory. "Thank you." She steps aside to let them enter, and Mike rolls his eyes.

Crystal stops and whispers to O. "For the record, I did try to tell him not to wear the flannel."

The two of them giggle and hug, Orion leaving her arm around Crys and leading her to the kitchen, inevitably to force a drink of some kind into her hand. Once again, as I try to close the door, someone else appears, and this time it’s Emelia.

“Hey, sorry I’m kinda late. Uber was being weird.”

She gives me a haphazard one armed hug and rushes inside, her eyes widening when she notices the apartment full of people. “God, I always forget how many people you guys know.”

I laugh and actually close the door behind her. It’s true, between all of us and our significant others, we know a ton of people who’d like to celebrate the start of tour. “You know I’d have picked you up, right?”

Em rolls her eyes. She, similarly to Orion, doesn’t like asking for help. It’s no wonder they’re so close. “It’s fine. I need a drink,” she says, walking toward the kitchen, and I follow her. She looks back at me and smiles. “Hey, you’re wearing The Shirt™️!”

I grin, my own eyes flitting down to look at it. “It’s a special occasion, thought I’d break it out.”

Her mouth flattens into a line and something in her eyes shifts. “Yeah, it’s a special occasion.”

When we get to the kitchen, we find Orion in a conversation with Crystal, Sierra, and Macy. Orion notices her best friend and hops up and down before she hurries over to us. “Emi! Yay, you’re here. Come here!” She grabs Em’s hand and pulls her to the small group she’s formed. “This is Macy! We just met like… a week ago? Anyway, her parents live in the building and she’s super cool.”

I think Orion would describe anyone that she even remotely likes as “super cool.”

Em’s jaw opens a tiny bit. “Wait, someone lives here that isn’t a total dick?”

Macy laughs loudly at that. “Technically I’m just visiting my parents, and I can’t vouch for them being dicks or not.”

Orion swats the air. “If they raised you they can’t be dicks, you’re precious.”

I shake my head and laugh, stepping out of the circle, but not without stopping to give O a kiss on her cheek. I walk around, nodding to everyone and giving hugs to anyone I’ve not had a chance to yet. I don’t think there are that many more people coming, since I can’t seem to recall who’s missing. I find the rest of the band on the couch, everyone with a beer in hand, chatting with our friends Roy and Mitchy.

“There he is!” Ash yells when I sit down on the arm of the couch next to him. “Roy and Mitch can’t believe Orion’s not coming with us.”

I look at the two, who are looking at me already. “Yeah, I mean, she’s got school and stuff.”

Roy chuckles. “Couldn’t she do some of it online or something? Orion seems like an ideal tour girlfriend.”

I snort and so does Ash. “What does that even mean, mate?”

Roy seems to be at a loss for words, so Mitchy steps in. “You guys met on tour, right? And she’s so organized. She’d keep you in check and she’d help keep you grounded. Wouldn’t let your world tour get to your head.” He’s half joking, especially with the last half. He and I have already talked about this and he’s aware that I’d love to bring her, but it’s not just my choice here.

I roll my eyes. “She’s my girlfriend, not my manager. She’s got a life too. She knows I’d love to have her with us, but she wants to stay and do school, and that’s fine with me.”

“Ash?” KayKay appears behind Roy and Mitchy, looking quite stressed. “Can we go?” Her face is red through her makeup, and her eyes look kind of glossy. It’s like she’s trying not to cry.

Ashton immediately stands up and walks around, wrapping an arm around her. I follow, not trying to butt into their conversation, but more just trying to make sure everything is fine.

They whisper for a few moments before Ash notices me and he gives KayKay a quick hug, telling her he’ll meet her in the hall in a minute.

“Is everything okay?” I ask. He looks stressed out now, too.

“Yeah. Or, no, not really — her grandmother is just back in the hospital. She’s got dementia, and she’s not been doing well for a while. We’re gonna go. Her mum said it’s not looking great.”

I just nod. “Yeah, for sure, go. I’m sorry to hear that. Let us know if you need anything?”

Ash nods and gives me a hug. “Thanks, dude. Tell O we said bye?”

“Of course. See ya on Monday?”

He grimaces. “It depends how she’s doing. Kay’s really close with her grandma.”

“Got it. Well, we’re here for you guys. You know that, right?”

He smiles. “Yeah. Love ya, bud!”

“Love you too, man.”

Orion runs over after the door closes behind them, looking concerned. She’s holding a can of PBR now, her lipgloss imprinted around the rim. “Is everything okay?”

“Kay’s got some family stuff. I’ll tell you later.”

She frowns but nods. “Gotcha…”

I wrap an arm around her. “It’s fine, Ash is with her. I told him to let us know if they need anything.”

She nods. “Cool, I’ll text her later. Remind me?”

“‘Course.” I bend down and press a kiss onto her temple, knowing she doesn’t like to kiss in front of others very much, at least not this sober, even though it’s just our friends.

She then gasps, as if out of nowhere.

“What?” I ask, not sure what’s wrong with her now. She has moments like this throughout the day, every day. It’s usually because she forgot someone’s birthday or she didn’t move the laundry to the dryer before we left.

“I didn’t get a picture of you four together,” she pouts, jutting out her bottom lip.

“Baby, there are literally millions of photos of the four of us together.”

Orion rolls her eyes. “But I wanted one of you all tonight.” For some reason, she seems pretty upset over forgetting about it tonight.

“Hey, it’s okay. We can get one of the three of us still? Maybe we can get a balloon and draw a face on it and pretend it’s Ashton. I’m sure the resemblance will be uncanny.”

That makes her giggle loudly, a faint burp coming out after, making both of us laugh. It’s a sign that this is not her first beer. “Yeah, let’s do that. And, can we get one of us? Oh, and one of me and Em. Oh, and one of me and Sierra and Crystal!”

I roll my eyes. “We don’t need a full on photoshoot.”

I don’t mean it. Orion loves having photos of everything. She’s a super sentimental girl, loving to have everything documented somewhere. Her Instagram is private, so the photos never make it to the fans, which is what she wanted. She’s been very self-conscious during our whole relationship about making sure the fans don’t think she’s after fame or anything.

“You love my photoshoots,” she says, playfully hitting my chest. “C’mon, let’s do the balloon one before you guys are too wasted to take a normal photo.”

Orion wrangles the three of us out onto our balcony, the city lights twinkling behind us in the photos she takes. She then grabs Crystal and Sierra to take a picture with them, posing with her hands on her cheeks and smiling, then hugging the other two, and I do my best to just keep clicking the shutter the way she taught me two years ago when she asked me to take photos of her at the London Eye.

She dismisses everyone else but asks Crystal to take photos of us, and she says she’s happy to. I hand O’s phone to Crystal and take my place next to Orion, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her tightly against my side. She sets her hand on my ribs and leans her head against me, smiling sweetly at the camera while Crystal yells out “oh my god so cute” a bunch of times. I don’t even bother looking at the camera, just stare at my pretty girl, trying to memorize how her eyeshadow sparkles and her eyes gleam and her lips are chapped and her hair is slowly falling out of her braid. She’s perfect.

“Are you gonna look at the camera?” She giggles, looking up at me.

“Nope,” I answer, leaning down to kiss her. Crystal keeps saying how cute it is and I assume she keeps taking photos while Orion and I kiss for the camera.

I hear Luke shout from inside the apartment, “GROSS!”

When I look at the photos a few minutes later, I see that both of us gave Luke the middle finger when he yelled. I smile, immediately Airdropping the photos to myself and adding that one to my story.