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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

Inner Conflict

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3586

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Some Angst, Some Fluff, Sam and Bucky being idiots, Mentions of PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression

A/N: Here’s Part Three to my FATWS Series, which I’m making a masterlist for that you can find Here.

Uh…it’s a little long, and I apologize for that. It doesn’t even encompass the whole second episode, only the first half, so a Part 3.5 will be coming out later today probably (it’s my day off work so I have all day to relax and write!) I tried not doing a line for line rewrite of the episode, but there are quotes from the show in here. Mostly it’s Reader’s thoughts and feelings towards what’s happening while conversations are going on around. Reader’s backstory is a bit more unfurled. It’s more action packed and more scene-for-scene of the episode than the previous two. Less emotions shared and less hurt/comfort type of thing, but that’ll be back in the next part probably along with more scenes not in the show. The next part I’m planning won’t be as long, it’ll mainly just be the Couples Therapy scene and a bit more angst with her and Sam and her and Bucky.

Because there’s four more episodes and I don’t know what’s going to happen in them, I’m kinda hesitant on spilling out exactly what is going on with the Reader and what her role was on the original team, but we’ll get there. Also, I wasn’t expecting to be writing multiple pieces for one episode, but if the other episodes are as packed as this one, prepare yourself for more parts than anticipated. We’re already on Part 3 and I’ve got Part 3.5 coming. Just bare with me as I don’t know what’s going to happen in future episodes! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

(Not beta’d so excuse any mistakes.)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

Walking out of the shower, ruffling a towel through your hair to dry it off, you froze at the sound of the TV. A sigh left your lips. It’s all he’d been doing the last few days - watching the news. Keeping up with the tour for the new Captain America.

You peeked out of the small bedroom to find Bucky sitting on the floor, brow creased as he watched John Walker talk to the Good Morning America hostess.

“You shouldn’t be watching that.” You spoke up, leaning on the doorway, still patting your hair dry. He glanced over to you, taking in the towel wrapped around you, before looking back at the TV. Seeing you like that wasn’t anything new. “Buck, I’m serious. Brooding over it won’t make anything better.”

“What do you want me to do?”

You let out a sigh, shifting your feet and biting your lip as you thought about how to respond. “I-I haven’t figured it out yet. But obsessing over the new guy-”

“Aren’t you mad?”

You frowned at his question, his eyes meeting yours once more. “I told you already that I am.”

He tilted his head, which he did when he was confused, his eyes narrowing. “Why don’t you show it? Why aren’t you screaming or cursing or crying or something? You, of all people-”

“Because it won’t help anything, Buck.” You shook your head, pushing off the wall. “I want to. But if I let myself go down that road…” Dropping your gaze to the floor, you take a breath, collecting your thoughts. “This is such a complicated situation, James. I’m being contacted left and right for a statement on the new Captain. People trying to see my reaction. Senators trying to get me to meet with him. I can’t let myself snap. I can’t.”

He scowled. “They’re still bothering you?”

A dry chuckle escaped your lips and you nodded. “Makes me miss the days when no one knew who I was; when I was the behind-the-scenes seventh Avenger. But I made that choice to come out, and I have to deal with the consequences now. Blowing up will only-”

“Even though I never met him…he feels like a brother.”

That one statement stopped you in your tracks. Bucky’s head whipped back to the TV, his jaw ticking, his nose scrunching up.

“Did he really just say that?”

Bucky merely nodded, his chest heaving as he tried getting his breathing under control. “Feel like snapping now?”

You purse your lips as you held in the tears stinging your eyes. After composing yourself, you moved over and grabbed the remote, letting out a tiny sniffle as you did so. You tentatively touched Bucky’s shoulder, silently asking him if he needed anything from you. His response was to open his arms, so you quickly got down besides him to hold him.

“He is my brother, doll.”

“I know, Buck.” You pressed a soft kiss to his head, which rested against your bare shoulder.

Your bare knees are pressed harshly against the wooden panels of the floor, and you’re twisted awkwardly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. As long as he was comfortable, you would take the uncomfortable position. As long as he was being held, you would take the soreness it would leave. As long as you could help him be some sort of okay, you would take not being okay in this position.

You two sat like that for a few more moments before your phone buzzed. You gave a sigh, pulling back and holding his cheeks in either hand. He wasn’t crying, although he was on the verge of doing so. You’d seen him cry before, so you knew he didn’t mind. For you it was a different story.

Bucky had maybe seen you cry twice since the whole Blip thing went down. And one of them was over the phone, so he didn’t see it so much as he heard it. You didn’t let yourself cry in front of him. Or anyone, for that matter. It was a part of you. The only person you ever felt comfortable enough around to cry in front of…wasn’t there. And you couldn’t change that.

“We’ll figure it out.” You told him, nodding gently and letting a small, sad smile quirk the corners of your lips up. “Okay? We’ll figure it out.”

The clench in his jaw loosened as your fingers worked circles into the hinge, making him relax and nod back. You pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before standing up, moving across the room to where your phone was on the counter. You assumed it’d be another government official or news reporter, so you were slightly shocked to see ‘Sammy’ flashing up at you.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you read his message, a slight pout forming on your face.

“Doll?” Toned arms wrapped around you, warm and cool, his chin setting on your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Sam. He needs my help with something.”

“I’m coming with you.”

You turned in his arms, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Why?”

He shrugged, licking his lips. “You might need help.”

“Bucky, you can’t go if you’re just going to yell at him.”

“I won’t.”

You studied his features. He was lying, you knew that. Of course he was going to snap at Sam for giving up the shield. He was mad and they got on each others’ nerves every chance they could find, so of course he was going to.

But you still found yourself saying yes and telling him to go pack a bag. You were never able to say no to Steve and it seemed that got passed on. What a nuisance it was.

****************

And you were so right. It was the first thing he said once Sam came into view coming down the stairs.

“You shouldn’t have given up the shield, Sam.”

“James.” You squeezed the hand he was holding, voice pleading for him not to do this right now. He huffed, stepping back to let you greet Sam properly, giving the man a hug. “Hi, Sammy.”

“It’s been a while.” Sam commented, pulling back and holding you by the shoulders. “You look good. Not that you’ve ever looked otherwise.”

You gave him a small smile. “You do too.”

“Thanks for coming. I know it’s short notice, but-”

“It’s fine, Sam. Really.” You insist.

Sam nodded, before eyeing Bucky. “Did you have to bring him?”

“Samuel-”

“This is wrong.” Bucky cut in, staring Sam down, falling into step besides him as the man started heading outside.

“James-”

“Hey, hey. Look. I’m working, all right?”

You rolled your eyes as the two started arguing, stopping your stride to take a breather. You used to joke about babysitting them, but it didn’t feel like a joke anymore and you were getting tired of it. All the bickering for no reason. The contempt they held for one another. Steve made you promise that you would look out for them, and you were trying, but they weren’t making it easy.

When you joined them again, you raised an eyebrow at the direction the conversation turned. How the hell did they get from arguing about the shield to what a wizard is?

“Ahh! Haha! A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat!”

You gave Sam a look as he babbled about how he was right. “Sorcerer Mickey has a hat. Isn’t that, like, how he gets his powers and everything?”

Bucky grinned at you. “Thank you!”

“Excuse you!” Sam scoffed, pointing an accusing finger at you. “We were having a conversation!”

“Yeah. A stupid conversation I just ended. Now I’m gonna be in the plane. Feel free to join me when you’re done being idiots.”

They both spluttered, but you were already walking away, leaving no room for arguments. As you loaded onto the plane, you spotted the Lieutenant whom Sam mentioned who had been helping him out with missions. Torres, you thought, remembering his name from a previous phone call with your friend.

“You Lieutenant Torres?” You asked, walking up to him.

He blinked, before his eyes widened, a grin appearing on his face. He seemed young, which you were perfectly okay with considering you’ve been working alongside old men for the past decade. It was always nice to work with a fresh face, which you found after you started working with Wanda and Peter.

The thought of the two youngest members made you falter, not having heard from either of them since Christmas almost six months prior, but you quickly recovered yourself, shaking away the worries you had for them.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N! I’m a huge fan! I’ve read all your files!”

Chuckling a little, you held out your hand. “Most of those are heavily classified.”

He ducked his head with a little blush, rubbing the back of his neck after shaking your hand. “I, uh, I might’ve…used connections.”

“It’s okay.” You reassured him, throwing him a wink. “I won’t tell. Can you tell me what’s going on? Sam didn’t exactly explain the situation.”

He nodded, getting into ‘work mode’, something you’ve seen in most military men, informing you of their recent missions and the group known as the Flag-Smashers and giving you a file on them. He was in the middle of telling you about his solo mission in Germany when your two fellas came in, sending each other small glares, but remaining quiet.

Bucky caught your eye and sent an apologetic look your way, to which you just smiled at before turning back to Torres.

“Well I’m glad you’re okay.” You told him once he was done.

“Oh yeah. It wasn’t that bad.”

You laughed and nodded. “I’m sure. You seem like a tough kid.”

He smiled, before looking around and jabbing his thumb behind his shoulder. “I-I’ve gotta go, but-”

“We can talk later.” You promised with a grin.

“Really?!”

“Of course! I have a feeling we’ll be working together more, and I like getting to know who’s gonna have my back.”

He beamed and nodded, walking backwards. “That’d be awesome! Talk to you later then!”

You giggled as he turned around and jogged off, pumping his fist in the air. You turned to a grinning Sam and nodded towards where Torres left. “I like him. Seems like a nice kid.”

“He is. Very energetic. A little reckless, but he’s got a good heart.”

You hummed, the smile falling from your face as you flipped through the file Torres gave you. “So…Munich?”

“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry again for taking you away from the search, but-”

“Search is off.” You informed him quickly, not looking up. “Until further notice.”

The plane went quiet, before Sam cleared his throat. “So…no sign of Wanda yet, then?”

You shut the file, looking up at the men whose features were laced with concern. “I’m gonna go talk to the pilot. Behave while I’m gone. No pushing each other off the plane.”

“Doll?”

You were stopped by the hand that grabbed your wrist as you passed Bucky. You shot him another smile, knowing it wasn’t convincing enough for him, but it being the best one you had. “I’m okay. I’ve just gotta ask him some questions.”

************

Opening your mouth to stop him, you groaned when Bucky jumped out of the plane before you could speak. First Sam jumps without sharing the plan, then Bucky jumps without having a plan. Or a parachute. Or wings. Or anything.

Torres looked at you, but all you could do was shrug. “I dunno what to tell you, kid.”

“You’re not gonna do that, are you?”

“No.” You reassured him, shaking your head. “I’m gonna wait ‘til we land like a normal person and take my bike. I just have to pray that they’ll wait to do anything stupid until I get there.”

They didn’t wait. You’re pretty sure they didn’t even think about waiting. By the time you got to them, they were fighting - and losing, might you add - to six really strong people on top of two semi trucks.

Because why wouldn’t they?

Oh, oh. And on top of that, the fake was there, throwing the shield. The shield that didn’t belong to him. The shield that meant so much more than he would ever know.

“Hi, doll! Sorry we started the party without you!” Bucky shouted from where he was hanging off the edge, that close to the street and getting his head torn off by the tire.

“I’m so tired of babysitting you two, you know that?!”

“Oh! Sorry we’re such an inconvenience for you! Blame him! He jumped the gun!” Sam shouted, coming to fly next to you as you rolled up your sleeves, standing on your bike, using one hand to steer.

“Can I get a little help already?!”

“Sam-!”

“On it!”

Knowing that no matter how much they pissed each other off, Sam would make sure Bucky was okay and vice versa, you focused on getting to the top, where Walker and a buddy of his were struggling a little bit.

You climbed up to the roof of the semi no one was on, wincing when you heard your bike skidding across the pavement. There goes half your salary.

You couldn’t dwell on it for very long, considering one of the guys appeared in front of you. You recognized the fighting - the strength - and faltered, a memory resurfacing at a very bad time.

“C’mon, honey. You can do better than that.” Steve grinned at you, holding out a hand to help you up.

“Excuse me for not having super strength, Rogers.” You huffed out, taking it and letting him pull you up.

“You don’t need to be stronger than me. You just need to be smarter.”

“That’ll be easy.” You teased, stretching your arms before getting into your stance again. “You’re a dumbass sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, who chose to be friends with this dumbass?”

“Everyone needs a dumbass for a friend.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “So I’m your dumbass?”

“If you want.”

The grin he shot you made your heart skip a beat. “If you’ll have me.”

You blinked, but Steve wasn’t in front of you anymore and you weren’t in the gym in DC.

The guy caught the punch you distractedly threw and twisted your arm, making you cry out, kicking him in the back of the knee and flipping him over your shoulder.

You went to kick him again, but he caught your leg and threw you against the side of the other semi. You were able to grab onto where Bucky had ripped through the side, but you winced as the metal cut through your palm. Sam had just flown under the trucks, taking Buck with him, and you knew when a fight wasn’t worth it, so you quickly moved around the truck, letting Walker and his pal distract the Flag-Smashers, before letting yourself fall onto the side where the grass was.

You wanted to lay there, to catch your breath and curse yourself for getting distracted. You hadn’t had a flashback like that in a while. But you didn’t let yourself. You had to make sure the guys were okay.

Standing up made you cringe; you could feel the throbbing in your shoulder from where it was no doubt dislocated and your leg was aching, the muscle probably pulled when the guy threw you.

“Doll!” You turned, seeing Bucky and Sam sprinting towards you a few yards down the road. “Hey, hey.” Bucky immediately had his hands hovering over you, scanning your body. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, shoving his hands away. “I’m fine.”

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“I think I dislocated it.”

Sam frowned. “What the hell happened?”

You gave him a weird look, starting to limp across the field to where you noticed a side road earlier. “They were super soldiers, Sam. And we got our asses kicked.”

“Yeah, but you know how to fight a super soldier-”

“It’s been a while.”

“Bullshit.” Sam side stepped in front of you, making you stop. “What happened?”

“I-I just got distracted, okay?”

“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky took your face between his palms, eyes worried. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. A tired sigh left your lips and you looked anywhere but his eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just hurting. My leg, I think I pulled it or something-”

“C’mere.” Bucky turned and crouched down, making you blink.

“What?”

“You shouldn’t be walking. We don’t wanna make it worse.”

“But it’s just a strain, it won’t-”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Just get on the man’s back, Y/N.”

You bit your lip before sighing and carefully climbing on his back. He shifted you gently, making sure to hold your leg with caution, leaning his head into yours when you hooked your chin on his shoulder. “You-you don’t have to talk about what happened. Just-just know that when you do…I’ll be here, okay?”

You nodded, moving to press your nose against the column of his throat. “Okay.”

But you could never tell them. How could you? How could you tell the world’s longest POW that you were having nightmares? How could you complain to an Air Force vet who served two tours in Afghanistan and watched his best friend get blown out of the air that you were having flashbacks?

You weren’t sure if it was PTSD or anxiety or depression. Maybe all three. It didn’t matter, though, because you didn’t want to admit it. You wouldn’t admit it. No one thought the Blip messed you up that badly. No one thought Steve leaving did that much damage. And you were okay with that. You were okay with them thinking you were healing - that you were fine - because they needed to see that it could be done. That they could be fine, too. Especially the men walking, Sam teasing Bucky per usual.

It wasn’t until a horn honked that you allowed yourself to be pulled out of your thoughts. A scoff left you when you realized who it was, switching the side you were laying on so your cheek pressed up against the cool metal of his left shoulder, facing away from the jeep.

You tried ignoring the guy as he talked about working together and shit, taking a shuddering breath, making Bucky squeeze your uninjured thigh. There was no way you were working with him. You couldn’t. It’d be like betraying Steve and you didn’t need that on top of all the other things you were dealing with.

You couldn’t deny the need for a ride though. The airport was 20 miles away and you were hurting pretty bad. You suspected that was the reason the guys relented, Bucky tenderly setting you down in the jeep between him and Sam, careful of your injuries.

You stared at your lap as Walker and Sam talked shop. You understood where they were coming from, you were always able to see both sides of the coin, but it didn’t mean you were going to willingly work with him.

“I got mad respect for all of y’all, but you were kind of getting your asses kicked till we showed up.”

You scoffed at that, finally raising your eyes to meet Walker’s friend’s. “Like you were doing any better?”

Bucky reached over to grab her hand that was resting on her lap. “You know, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you.” Walker faced you, eyes raking down your form. Bucky shifted in his spot, but you ran your thumb over his knuckles before he could do or say anything stupid.

“Yeah. I know. My phone hasn’t stopped blowing up for a week. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Walker frowned. “If you just answered-”

“I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you’ve done. I’ve been a little busy doing my job to blow smoke up your ass on national television. Sorry if my saving people’s lives has been an inconvenience for you, but some wannabe playing dress up isn’t my top priority.”

Walker’s brows furrowed and he was about to say something, when Bucky cut in, asking his friend who he was. You were already that close to jumping out of the jeep, when the guy, Hoskins, told you three that he went by ‘Battlestar’.

If the situation wasn’t so aggravating, you would’ve laughed when Bucky immediately told the driver to stop, opening the door before the car even stopped. “C’mere, doll.” He murmured, lifting you up into his arms bridal style, before walking off, tuning out Walker as he shouted after you two.

You pouted a little when you saw Sam still talking to the guy. “What’re they talking about, Buck?”

“Some nonsense about him not replacing Steve. Just trying to be the best Captain America he can.”

You laid your head against Bucky’s chest. “The best Captain America is Steve. He can never be Steve.”

“I know, doll.”

“Steve told me once that all he was trying to do was be a good man…it’ll always amaze me that he didn’t see he was the best.”

You missed the distraught look Bucky shot towards you, the look in his eyes almost heartbroken while you talked fondly about his best friend. The tortured scrunch to his features seemed to melt away at your next words, though, and he held you tighter as you curled into his hold.

“Just like it amazes me that you don’t know how important you are to me too, Buckaroo.”

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ofstarsandfireflies · 3 years

Text

Ahh the 90’s

God, I feel old.

Here’s a little enemies to friends to lovers movie!

They were both adults, even if they didn’t act like it most of the time.

They were both friends, even though they’d never met each other face to face.

They were both in failing relationships, and could find solace in talking to one another about them.

That’s how it started to mean more to them, like they were cheating on their partners without anything scandalous being read or sent.

Each was a secret who knew everything about them, more than anyone else would care to know.

And each liked that they kept their identities secret from the other.

Only, that wasn’t really the case.

Through their messenger, they could talk with the other about anything.

Outside of that though, it felt like Tony and Stephen were at war with one another.

They were both in the hero business and Tony’s name was synonymous with the Avengers brand, which came with a flurry of fans and reporters wherever they went.

And where they were usually found was wherever Stephen was, storming in to take over when he had things completely under control and just making the mess worse.

And the fans would get in on the rivalry too, fighting amongst themselves about who was better suited to protect this world if it came down to Iron Man or the Sorcerer Supreme, or who would win in a fight between them.

Stephen didn’t care for anyone’s opinion, and neither did Stark when he was cornered and asked the exact questions his fans wanted answered, Stephen just glaring at television screen, unable to get away from him out of work now days too.

No, instead he’d open up the messenger he had on his laptop at 7pm on the dot and would talk to his friend about his ‘worker friend’ making life difficult for him until ten.

His friend had problems of his own, being a boss of a company and having some uptight subordinate trying to make him look bad.

They had a lot in common, including relationship problems.

They didn’t like who they were with their partners, or how they had to act with them, and neither felt respected in the relationship.

Stephen’s friend said he was was dating a worker who was just doing so for his money, but was still sticking with it because that was the only reason anyone would date him.

Tony’s friend was in a relationship with a high school sweetheart, which had soured over the years because his partner wanted to ‘expand their horizons’

It was nice having someone to talk to.

Someone who understood them and liked talking with them without the knowledge of who they really were and what they really did for a living.

And while they had agreed to never give specifics about themselves or to ever meet in person, that was exactly what they were planning after Stephen and Tony’s latest argument had resulted in casualties and an extremely bad break up straight after.

They were excited to see one another, to talk and try to help out with each other’s problems.

But when Tony rocked up to the cafe they’d agreed upon to meet at and was so nervous to go inside he annoyed Rhodey to go check for him to make sure the friend he would most likely ask to marry him straight away was there, Rhodey told him Stephen Strange was reading the exact book Tony’s friend had told him would give him away.

Rhodey had to be joking.

So Tony went to check for himself.

And sure enough, Stephen Strange sat at the numbered table where his fiend had told him he would sit, reading the book he told him to look out for.

All this time he’d been talking with Stephen and hadn’t even realised it.

So, saying goodnight to Rhodey, Tony decided to leave him there.

Stephen sat and waited, checking his watch every now and then and wondering what could be keeping his friend.

Ten minutes past their agreed time, someone asked if they could borrow the seat opposite him and he stopped them from taking it.

Twenty minutes passed and his second refill had been drained.

Then, at half an hour past, Tony Stark walked through the door and stood in line for a coffee.

Having nowhere else to go and no way to hide himself, Stephen held the book up a little higher to his face in hopes Tony hadn’t seen him.

But, of course, he had.

And he came over to the table Stephen was sitting at and plonked down in the seat opposite him.

Stephen could not believe the nerve of this guy, especially after the long day he had had.

Tony didn’t really care what Stephen thought of him.

They had their differences here but online they were still friends.

It was when he tried to explain their situation and Stephen snapped at him that he truly saw how he viewed him.

So, Tony stood up from his seat and left, leaving Stephen to wait for the man who would never show.

And the next day, there was a message from his friend.

From Stephen.

Asking him why he never showed, telling him how long he has waited, and even bringing up the ‘ worker friend’ who came to the cafe, who Tony now knew to be himself.

Strangely, the way Stephen worded how guilty he felt after snapping at him, sounded like an apology.

One Tony accepted.

So, he continued their online friendship while also trying to be friends with Stephen outside of it.

It wasn’t easy, but he eventually wore him down to be on at least speaking terms with him when he found out the good doctor was sick with a cold and needed some cheering up.

Stephen told him about the online relationship he had with a stranger somewhere in New York City and how he’d fallen for them.

Tony tried telling him this guy could be anyone, literally anyone.

They could be fat.

Stephen doesn’t care about that.

They could be an Avengers fanboy.

Stephen doesn’t care about that either.

They could be Rogers.

Stephen cracks a smile and says that would be a deal breaker, anyone would be better than Rogers.

Tony innocently asks him if it would be a deal breaker if it were him.

Stephen just laughs and tells him to stop messing around.

Every day they meet up to talk about Stephen’s online friend, and every day Stephen feels more and more confused.

He’s been crushing on this online persona for months now, he still wants to meet him even after he stood him up, but whenever he thinks about him, it’s Tony’s face he sees.

He can’t help it.

Tony is funny and witty and doesn’t try to be anyone else around him but himself.

It took a lot of digging through that massive ego to bring him out, but Stephen’s glad to have met him and to call him his friend.

A friend he’d want to be more with if he hadn’t already met someone.

And the day his friend finally agrees to meet up with him, is the day Tony tries to ask him if they’d been friends earlier, would he have gone out on a date with him instead of this online guy.

Because if Stephen had’ve said yes, Tony would have been the luckiest guy in the world.

Stephen doesn’t answer.

He can’t answer.

He needs to go and meet his friend.

And Tony just nods.

And smiles.

And walks away.

It’s a bright summer afternoon and Stephen is waiting in the park, five minutes early before the time they had agreed upon in case he had been keeping him waiting.

And all Stephen can think about is the last thing Tony said to him.

He shouldn’t be thinking about Stark.

He should be thinking about...

About...

Tony.

Tony was here, right on time.

And it all finally clicked into place.

It was him.

It had been him all along and Stephen was just so happy and frustrated and relieved all at the same time he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Because, even after everything, he’d wanted it to be Tony.

Quotes -

I had a gut feeling you would be online now. “Hi.” I can give you advice. I’m great at advice.

If only you could help.

Is it about love? “Please say no.”

“No, how cute is that?”

Tony and Stephen talking online.

“She’s not as nice as she seems on television.”

“You met her?”

“Yeah, boy, she’s a pill!”

“Probably aint as fine as she looks on TV either.”

“Oh no, no, she’s beautiful. But. She’s a pill.”

Stephen talking to Wong about Tony

“Can you see her? Can you see her?!”

“Yeah…”

“And?”

“She’s very pretty.”

“She is! I knew she would be! She had to be! She had to be!”

“You know what? She look…I mean, she almost has the same colouring as…that Kathleen Kelly person.”

“Kathleen Kelly of the little bookstore?”

“Why not? You said you thought she was attractive.”

“Absolutely, yes, why not? Who cares about Kathleen Kelly?”

“Well, if you don’t like Kathleen Kelly…I can tell you right now…you ain’t gonna like this girl.”

“Why not?”

“Because it IS Kathleen Kelly. So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re gonna let her wait there all night?”

“Yes, yes I am. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Goodnight, Kevin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When Tony realises who hos friend has been this entire time.

“You are nothing but a suit.”

“…That’s my cue…Goodnight.”

Stephen snapping at Tony

“Why did you stop by again? I forget.”

“I wanted to be your friend.”

“Oh.”

“I knew it wasn’t possible. What can I say, sometimes a guy just wants the impossible…can I ask you a question?”

“What?”

“What happened with the guy at the cafe.”

“Nothing.”

“But you’re crazy about him?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Why don’t you run off with him? What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t actually know him.”

Enemies becoming friends.

“You know, sometimes I wonder.”

“What?”

“Well, if I hadn’t been Fox Books and you hadn’t been The Shop around the Corner, and you and I had just…met….”

“I know.”

“Yeah. I would have asked for your number. And I wouldn’t have been able to wait 24 hours before calling you up and saying: “Hey, how about some coffee…or drinks or dinner…or a movie…for as long as we both shall live?”

“Joe…”

“And you and I would never have been at war. And the only thing we’d fight about would be which video to rent on a Saturday night.”

“Well, who fights about that?”

“Well, some people. Not us.”

“We would never.”

“If only.”

Friends becoming lovers.

Talk to Me

Tony and Stephen are having issues in their relationships and talking to each other, and falling in love with one another, anonymously via an instant messenger

January, February

I’m having difficulty with adding the links for the previous nights for some reason, no matter what I do tumblr thinks the links are broken. Hopefully I get it sorted out by tomorrow 😊

#ironstrange #strangeiron #osaf’s movie night

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f4liveblogarchives · 4 years

Text

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #198 & #199

Mon Aug 26 2019 [12:46 AM] Wack'd: It probably bares pointing out that this story is being billed as "The Greatest F.F. Epic of All!". I disagree [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: I thought that kind of hyperbole on the covers died out with the Silver Age [12:46 AM] Bocaj: I wonder what the greatest FF epic of all is [12:47 AM] Wack'd: Thus far I'm not sure anything's topped the Lee/Kirby epic of the Four being trapped in Latveria, if only for its sheer manic energy as it ping-pongs wildly from one twist to the next, only to end on a shaggy dog note when Doom gets bored and lets them leave [12:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Some people would argue it's the original Galactus Trilogy. [12:48 AM] Wack'd: I mean. If you define "epic" as "more than two issues". Otherwise it's probably the Thomas/Conway/Buscema one where a janitor gets a sentient cosmic cube to turn the world into a bonkers 50s mashup [12:48 AM] Wack'd: Isn't Galactus just 49-50? Otherwise I guess you could include that [12:48 AM] maxwellelvis: Man, that story got kinda last-episode-of-The Prisoner-y in the middle when they're both captured. [12:49 AM] maxwellelvis: People count the Silver Surfer stuff in #48 as part of it. [12:49 AM] Wack'd: That's probably fair [12:49 AM] Wack'd: Anyway! Reed has the Pogo Plane and is going to get Doctor Doom [12:50 AM] Wack'd: Weirdly, he figured this out because only Doom could've designed all the neat stuff he saw at his new job, funded the rocket that got him his powers back, and captured his friends so easily [12:50 AM] Wack'd: And not because his boss is the spitting image of his old college roommate [12:51 AM] Wack'd: Seriously there's one bit where it looks like Reed might recognize Son of Doom and instead it's like "that face? where have I seen that face?" [12:51 AM] maxwellelvis: How could he know what Victor Von Doom looks like? WE barely see his face even in flashback. [12:51 AM] maxwellelvis: I just assume he always has a shadow around that he lurks in. [12:51 AM] Wack'd: Pffft [12:52 AM] maxwellelvis: Like, from what I remember from his origin story, we see his face when we see him as a boy, but as he grows to college-age, his back is turned to us or his face is obscured more. [12:52 AM] Wack'd: The Four have left Latveria alive. Numerous times. But okay.

[12:53 AM] maxwellelvis: When did Doom start hiring goons? I thought his only human employee was Boris. [12:53 AM] Wack'd: We've seen him have human goons numerous times! [12:53 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh [12:53 AM] Wack'd: Just last issue a human goon he had in the 60s came back! I made a joke about what a ridiculous continuity pull it was and everything! [12:54 AM] maxwellelvis: Right [12:54 AM] Wack'd: Okay this feels like a little much but I'm sure everyone will forget he could do this soon enough

[12:54 AM] maxwellelvis: It's just weird because I'm used to him having an army of robotic henchmen, aside from the Doombots even. [12:54 AM] Wack'd: He does run a country. It'd be weird if there were no federal jobs [12:55 AM] maxwellelvis: These guys, to be specific. His Servo-Guards. [12:55 AM] Wack'd: I never said he didn't have robots

[12:56 AM] Wack'd: Man, those are some Tony Stark lookin' goons [12:56 AM] maxwellelvis: Wow, they look way less efficient than the Servo-Guards. [12:57 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Reed tries to rewire one of the robots and as a safeguard it explodes, knocking him unconscious and into a nearby lake [12:57 AM] Wack'd: Yeah, Reed's gonna die less than halfway through the issue, I buy this

[12:58 AM] Wack'd: "Face down in the water." Keith Pollard wins yet another art award [12:59 AM] maxwellelvis: Don't they write the scripts after the art is drawn? [12:59 AM] maxwellelvis: This could be on Marv's head. [01:00 AM] Wack'd: To the extent that this wasn't a myth perpetuated to justify Stan's writing credit, it was dying out by the 80s as comics became more of an auteur medium [01:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [01:00 AM] Wack'd: So possible, but unlikely [01:00 AM] Wack'd: Last time Doom was thwarted when someone pointed out he probably didn't want to destroy all the historical artifacts in the building so he's learned literally nothing. Very in character for him

[01:01 AM] maxwellelvis: This is the same guy who burned an original Renoir because he didn't like looking at it. [01:02 AM] Wack'd: Also apparently the statue Alicia's sculpting is "a gift to the UN when they vote not to condemn Latveria for its...more aggressive policies" [01:02 AM] Wack'd: Presumably also why Doom's "stepping down"--makes him look good in the run-up to the vote [01:03 AM] Wack'd: Little does he know the UN has no power and any condemnation they issue is basically just to make themselves look good! A rare day one manages to get one over on Doom [01:04 AM] Wack'd: Doom's also convinced the spaceship explosion killed Reed. For some reason. Even Sue has to point out that's a really dumb assumption [01:05 AM] Wack'd: Love me a good "Ben doesn't know when to quit" moment

[01:08 AM] Wack'd: Love a resistance. Don't love that they're big into hereditary monarchy

[01:08 AM] maxwellelvis: Especially because the guy Doom overthrew was a genocidal monster. [01:09 AM] maxwellelvis: Or maybe Doom just does that thing were every Latverian nobleman he undermined and disposed of, in his mind, he always saw the face of the man who killed his father. [01:09 AM] maxwellelvis: Y'know, like Batman. [01:10 AM] Wack'd: Possibly. Marvel Wiki says Rudolpho appeared in person occasionally through the 70s but doesn't mention anything about him being the guy who killed Doom Daddy [01:10 AM] maxwellelvis: I didn't mean to imply that. [01:11 AM] maxwellelvis: But Doom IS the kind of guy who would probably hold him just as accountable as that man was. [01:11 AM] Wack'd: Fair [01:12 AM] Wack'd: So we get to see a bit of the statue carving and the back of Doom's head looks like he's melting and Ben says he "has a puss that makes mine look like Robbie Redford's" [01:12 AM] Bocaj: I wonder if Doom will ever do a T'Challa and make Latveria a democracy so he doesn't have to put in the hours anymore [01:12 AM] maxwellelvis: Never [01:12 AM] Wack'd: Is basically every interesting or sympathetic aspect of this guy besides his origin a massive retcon [01:12 AM] Bocaj: Historically, Doom has walked away from ruling the world at least once because he found it tedious [01:12 AM] maxwellelvis: He loves being in charge [01:12 AM] Wack'd: I'm starting to feel like it id [01:13 AM] maxwellelvis: That sounds more like he didn't realize how much work the entire world would be compared to Latveria. [01:13 AM] Wack'd: So Son of Doom shows up and is like "it's time for the transference" [01:13 AM] Wack'd: I feel like we can all see where this is going [01:13 AM] Bocaj: Whats funny is that I think Doom keeps trying to conquer the world after the Emperor Doom story [01:14 AM] Bocaj: I guess wanting is better than having [01:14 AM] maxwellelvis: He's transferring his mind into his son's body, isn't he? [01:14 AM] Bocaj: He also definitely had some airs of ennui during God Emperor Doom in Secret Wars [01:14 AM] Wack'd: I also guessed this but apparently not [01:14 AM] Wack'd:

[01:15 AM] Wack'd: He's gonna give Son of Doom all the Four's powers [01:15 AM] maxwellelvis: Ah [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Minus one [01:16 AM] Wack'd: hahahahaha

[01:16 AM] Wack'd: This is basically a Superdictionary entry [01:16 AM] Bocaj: HAY THAT MACHINE [01:16 AM] Bocaj: THAT’S THE SAME MACHINE HE USED AS A SKRULL DETECTOR IN AVENGERS EARTH'S MIGHTIEST HEROES [01:17 AM] Bocaj: "It does more than one thing. SHUT UP!" [01:17 AM] Wack'd: Huh! [01:17 AM] Wack'd: Deep cut! [01:18 AM] Wack'd: Love me some casual mook dialogue

[01:18 AM] Wack'd: God so much of this issue is just letting Reed show off [01:19 AM] Wack'd: "How will we climb this mountain?" "I'm a rope now!" "How will we hide from this drone?" "I'll make myself look like part of the mountainside!" "How will we cross this moat?" "I'm a bridge now!" [01:20 AM] Bocaj: So him giving Reed his powers back is thus implied to be not about Doom's self-serving definition of a fair fight but to fill that fourth bubble? [01:20 AM] Wack'd: Probably yeah [01:21 AM] Wack'd: Marv Wolfman: Should I pace this slower so that everyone that's been complaining about Reed not stretching has time to nut? [01:22 AM] Bocaj: pfft [01:22 AM] Wack'd: I fucking love these two

[01:24 AM] Wack'd: I would watch a sitcom about these people [01:25 AM] Wack'd: ...weren't you trying to put a king back on the throne?!?

[01:25 AM] Bocaj: Maybe they don't know what democracy means [01:26 AM] Wack'd: Latveria doesn't seem to have a robust education system [01:27 AM] Bocaj: But they do have a robot education system [01:27 AM] Bocaj: Every latverian schoolchild is taught how to make a Doombot [01:27 AM] Wack'd: So all of the rebels but the main one get trapped between sliding doors and gassed, thus massively simplifying the plot [01:28 AM] Wack'd: Zorba is distressed his men might be dead but Reed reassures him they can still win, which I'm sure was his main concern [01:29 AM] Wack'd: So it turns out Hauptmann is the brother of the original Hauptmann, who died in that Latveria epic [01:29 AM] Wack'd: I forgot [01:29 AM] Wack'd: He's totally on board with overthrowing Doom since his brother...was killed by Doom? Died on Doom's watch if nothing else. [01:30 AM] Wack'd: FINAL SHOWDOWN TIME [01:31 AM] Wack'd: I like that Doom assumes this was a clever ruse on Reed's part and that he did not, in fact, almost die

[01:31 AM] Wack'd: Anyway not final showdown time I guess! Cliffhanger time!

[01:32 AM] Wack'd: Boy the "soul-shattering secret" thing kinda makes me wish I hadn't looked him up

Mon Aug 26 2019 [01:32 AM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 NO 199: [01:34 AM] Wack'd: I like that Doom plays the piano. That it's just a thing he does and incorporates into his plans just because he likes it. It's a nice little thing

[01:34 AM] maxwellelvis: That's an organ setup [01:34 AM] maxwellelvis: Just as cliche and ten times as bombastic [01:34 AM] maxwellelvis: Which suits Victor [01:36 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Zorbo is...back outside, now? And he's leading a mob? [01:37 AM] Wack'd: Doom tries to fire on them with his suit weapons but the entire mob pulls out guns and draw on him [01:37 AM] Bocaj: Normal guns? A trifle for one such as VICTOR VON DOOOOOM [01:38 AM] Wack'd: You'd think [01:38 AM] Wack'd: But he backs down and redoubles on his promise to retire [01:38 AM] Wack'd: The mob has formed, essentially, because they don't believe him [01:39 AM] Bocaj: Do they know his plan to put his son on the throne? [01:39 AM] Wack'd: Yes [01:39 AM] Wack'd: Zorbo is threatening to expose the "dark secret" behind Son of Doom [01:39 AM] Bocaj: So they're fine with that but they just don't believe Doom is really retiring? [01:40 AM] Wack'd: Well, they don't know what it is yet [01:40 AM] Wack'd: Zorbo is keeping us them in suspense [01:41 AM] Wack'd: stupid 👏🏼 baby 👏🏼 word 👏🏼 games

[01:43 AM] Wack'd: So apparently UN is threatening to expel Latveria [01:43 AM] Wack'd: This is a weird set of circumstances to slowly unfold over the course of the story but I'm digging it [01:44 AM] Wack'd: Meanwhile: Reed punches out of his sphere and frees the others while Doom is distracted with statue stuff [01:45 AM] Bocaj: Ego is his downfall as happens [01:46 AM] Wack'd: I hadn't thought about it until now but it's very interesting to me that this arc ends not with Reed learning to value his other virtues in lieu of his powers (before of course getting them back) but with him completely forgetting his midlife crisis and reforming the team

[01:47 AM] Wack'd: Like in modern comics there'd be some kind of character beat before the big return but nah, Reed can stretch again! All problems are solved forever! [01:49 AM] Wack'd: Anyway they fight some mooks, dodge some lasers, the usual, before reaching Doom. And Alicia, who is being threatened with a dislocated finger

[01:50 AM] Wack'd: So naturally the Four surrender [01:50 AM] Wack'd: Doom's speech here has big Mother Gothel energy

[01:51 AM] Wack'd: Zorbo frees the Four and Alicia. Quick turnaround time, but then the arc is ending [01:52 AM] Wack'd: The Four show up, reveal Son of Doom as a clone, fight fight fight [01:53 AM] Wack'd: ...huh. Did not see this coming

[01:54 AM] Wack'd: So anyway Son of Doom declares he has no interest in his dad's petty cruelty and thirst for revenge, and the two duke it out [01:55 AM] Wack'd: It's...pretty cool

[01:56 AM] Wack'd:

[01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: I don't think I've ever seen Doom have a breakdown like this before. [01:56 AM] Bocaj: "Learn some self-care, Doom!" "NEVER" [01:57 AM] Wack'd: As with the thing with Agatha and Nick Scratch I kinda wish the hammer had dropped sooner so we had more room to explore this dynamic [01:58 AM] Wack'd: But we definitely get some good mileage out of it in the final moments

#1978 #Marv Wolfman #Keith Pollard #The Main Book

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mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years

Text

Chapter 6; Preparing for war

Finally I have some time to post up some more chapters of Bad wolf in Civil War. I’m coming down to the wire with finishing my first semester of college so for anyone who has finals coming up in the next couple weeks I wish you ALL luck, even though I’m not taking exams, I’m still doing papers that count as my finals and THAT takes a LOT out of me so pray for me. Anyways hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)

______________________________________________________

“Nice to see you too old man, but shouldn’t you be retired?”

“Yeah I was supposed to be taking the kids water skiing, Laura’s definitely gonna kill me for bailing. But I retire for what five minutes and it all goes to shit”.

Clint then unlocked my cell and got me out of my chains and my muzzle and helped me up when he took notice of my scarred face,

“Damn what the hell happened to you kid?”

“I found out the reason why dogs hate cats”.

“Ha so I win the bet right!?”

“You wish. I had that pussy cat pinned and would’ve won had the Man not shot me down”.

“Damn that’s rough, but I still won, you owe me 50 bucks after all this is over”.

“No I don’t”.

“Yes you do”. The two of us walked out covertly and Clint got me into a large white van and began to drive off.

“Did Steve call you in?”

“In a way yeah, right now I’m taking you to a Helicarrier I’ve got ready for us to get Wan out of her pin”. As we drove on, I suddenly picked up a scent. A very familiar scent.

“Pull over”.

“What?”

“Pull over now!” I demanded as my eyes phased to wolf gold telling him that I was now playing around. He pulled the truck over and I immediately ran out of it as Clint called out to me.

“(Y/n)! What the hell are you doin!?”

“Go get Mama Bear and meet us back here!” I called out to him.

“Why aren’t you gonna come!? They’ll be looking for you!”

“BECAUSE I KNEW BUCKY BARNES!!” I screamed out as I disappeared into the streets and began tracking Bucky’s scent.

As I was tracking down his scent, I had to be extremely careful because there were cops and choppers everywhere. I lifted my hoodie over my head and put on dark sunglasses to hide my face and I kept my head lowered to the ground. Suddenly I found the trace of Bucky’s scent.

I soon arrived at an old warehouse and quietly entered through an open window in the back. I walked along the warehouse silently and I began to hear Steve’s voice say.

“Dead—the bombing, the setup, the doctor did all of that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than “I don’t know””.

“He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept, he wanted to know exactly where”. I heard Bucky’s voice say.

“Why would he need to know that?”

“Because he’s not the only Winter Soldier”. I said as I came out from behind the door. I removed my hood and took off my glasses and stared at the three men before me.

“(Y/n) what the hell are you doing here? You could’ve been seen!” Steve said furiously.

“Yeah well I wasn’t spotted, I know how to blend in well, plus I needed to see him,” I gestured to Bucky.

I walked up towards Bucky and said to him as I released his metal arm from the vice that was holding him in place,

“About 9 years ago you were sent on a mission in Siberia but as you were coming back you were attacked by a pack of rapid wolves. You were severely injured and was about to be killed by their Alpha until a larger wolf came in and saved you. Do you remember that night?”

“How do you know that?” He asked me.

“Because I was that wolf that saved you. That’s why you looked at me with such familiarity when you saw me in my wolf form. Am I wrong?” Bucky softly chuckled and said.

“No, you’re not. God who would’ve thought Bad Wolf was really a kid underneath”.

“Not to add salt to the wound of your ego but I was only nine years old when I saved you”. The two of us chuckled softly but then Sam had to ruin the moment.

“Hate to impose on whatever’s going on here, but what did you mean that he wasn’t the only Winter Soldier She-wolf?”

“He’s right. Who were they?” Steve said.

“Their most elite death squad, more kills than anyone in Hydra history and that was before the serum”. Bucky explained.

“They all turn out like you?” asked Sam.

“Worse” Bucky stated plain and simple.

“The doctor, could he control them?” Steve questioned.

“Enough” Bucky answered his friend.

“Said he wanted to see an empire fall” Steve said.

“With these guys, he could do it. They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize—”.

“Basically they could take down a whole country in one night you’d never see them coming” I finished for Bucky. Sam then walked up to Steve and the two of them began talking while Bucky and I remained sitting together. I turned to him and I said. “You know you could’ve left me there to bleed to death but you stayed. I never got to say this because I couldn’t speak but—thank you, Bucky Barnes”. I allowed a tear to fall down my face and I felt a rough but smooth human hand cup my cheek wiping the tear away.

“I should really be the one thanking you. Had you not broke free of your prison, I wouldn’t be here today and find how who I really was instead of what Hydra made me to be”. I smiled and took his hand and nuzzled into it.

For the first time I had finally found someone who was just like me. Long before I even knew Pietro and Wanda I did for a short time have Bucky in my life. Secretive and silent at the time but his actions spoke way louder than any words of comfort that both the twins had given me after my time with HYDRA.

“We need to move”. Steve said and soon all four of us were piled into a very small blue buggy and we soon took off with Steve as the driver, Sam in the front seat and Bucky and I were in the back.

We drove for hours in the small buggy until we reached underneath a bridge where another car was parked.

As Steve stopped the car and got out, I took notice that Sharon Carter got out of the driver’s seat of the other car and she walked towards the trunk of her car as she and Steve began to talk to each other.

“Can you move your seat up?” asked Bucky.

“No” Sam stated sternly.

“Come on Birdbrain lay off” I stated. Bucky then scooted over slightly towards me but tried to give me enough room. It was then I saw Steve and Sharon share a kiss.

Okay now I’m all in up for Steve trying to score a date here but it felt kinda wrong that he was kissing his ex-girlfriend’s niece and Peggy had only been gone for barely a day. But when I turned I saw Sam and Bucky smiling and grinning like fools at Steve’s kiss while Steve just stared at them.

Once we had gotten our weapons and outfits, Steve drove us to the airport where I saw the same white truck Clint had picked me up at parked underneath one of the parking garages. Steve stopped the car and finally I was able to get out of the small buggy and stretch out my legs.

It was then I saw Wanda get out of the front seat along with Clint. I rushed up to Wanda and when she saw me we hugged each other tightly.

“Oh Mama Bear I’m so sorry I didn’t come back but I had just found out about—”

“Shhh, shh I know, Clint told me.” We separated and just like a real Mama Bear, she gasped as she saw my face and said, “Wolfie, what happened to your face? Who did this to you?”

“One mean putty cat I’ll just say that, I got it defending him but it was totally worth it” I said gesturing to Bucky who remained by the buggy.

“Thanks for having my back” Steve said to Wanda. She shrugged and said.

“It was time to get off my ass, plus someone hurt my Wolfie, I won’t take that lying down”. She wrapped an arm around me and leaned her head against mine and kissed my temple.

“How about our other recruit?” Steve said to Clint.

“He’s rarin’ to go, had to put a little coffee in him—but he should be good” as Clint opened the door it revealed a man known as Scott Lang.

Apparently last year while at the Avengers facility, Sam had a run-in with someone who was able to shrink himself to the size of an insect on a dime and manage to bring him down by destroying his wings from the inside. When Sam went to investigate who it was, it turned out that this man was known as Ant-Man or as the public knows him as Scott Lang.

“What time zone is this?” asked Scott as he hopped out of the van. Clint only gestured for him to get out and when he saw Steve he was flabbergasted. “Captain America”.

“Mr. Lang”.

“It’s an honor. I’m shaking your hand too long. Wow! This is awesome! Captain America, I know you too you’re great! With the—” he began to fanboy at all of us. First he mimicked one of Wanda’s poses which made her smile then he turned to me and said, “Oh wow! And you’re that She-wolf girl. You’re awesome too! Beautiful wolf form too!” That made me smile knowing that he at least had an appreciation for wolves.

Scott continued to fanboy as he just marveled at Steve and tapped his shoulders feeling his muscles before saying.

“Jeez, ahh, look I wanna say, I know you know a lot of super people so…thanks for thinking of me. Hey man!” He then stated to Sam.

“What’s up tic-tac?” Sam stated bluntly still kinda being a sore loser about how he got his butt kicked by a small little guy.

“Uhh good to see you. Look, what happened last time when I—”

“It was a great audition but it’ll—it’ll never happen again” Sam scoffed out.

“They tell you what we’re up against?” Steve asked him. Scott’s attention went back to Steve as he said.

“Something about some psycho-assassins?”

“We’re outside the law on this one, so if you come with us you’re a wanted man”.

“Yeah well what else is new?” Scott asked like it wasn’t his first rodeo of being an outlaw.

“We should get moving” Bucky stated.

“We got a chopper lined up” said Clint. Suddenly the alarms started buzzing and a German announcement came over the PA.

“They’re evacuating the airport” stated Bucky.

“Stark” said Sam.

“Stark?” Scott asked in shock.

“Suit up” commanded Steve.

As we all got prepared in our suits, I saw Bucky sitting down like an outcast while the rest of the team was talking about the plan of attack. I tilted my head and walked up towards Bucky and sat down beside him.

“You don’t have to do this, I know you must’ve missed her for the past couple of days”.

“I know, but I don’t want you to be alone”. I said. I then took a bit leap and placed my head on his metal arm. He tensed up but then relaxed and he even wrapped his metal arm around my head and stroked my hair.

“So she calls you Wolfie?” I snorted out a chuckle and said.

“Oh god I knew that nickname would come and bite me in the ass someday”.

“No, no it’s cute. It suits you, did she come up with it?”

“No I came up with Mama Bear for her, it was—” I paused and looked down sadly thinking about Pietro.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no, no it’s fine. It’s just—it was her twin brother who came up with Wolfie. We lost him a year ago, but—now’s really not the time to talk about it”. He nodded in understandment then to get the mood back up again I continued, “But I do think it’s only fair that I get to give you a nickname too since you now know mine”.

“Oh really?”

“Really”. I smiled then I began to think on what I should call him, hell maybe fitting in with the bear theme I said “how about Bucky-bear?” And for probably the first time, Bucky let out an actual heart-filled laugh.

“Alright Wolfie, Bucky-bear it is”. As the two of us just sat there and chatted with each other, we were both unaware of Wanda and Clint staring at us.

“Seems she’s finally found herself a new man”. Said Clint.

“Indeed, but she’s not in love with him in that way”. Wanda stated.

“You worried?”

“No. Barnes is the only real person who seems to understand Wolfie, far better than Pietro and I ever did, unlike us she didn’t go to Hydra, Hydra found her and killed her family right before her at the prime of her youth. Twisted her and tortured her until she became the beast they wanted. Just like they did to Bucky when they first found him after he fell from the train. The two of them belong together, they draw strength from each other, just like Pietro and I did after we lost our parents”. Clint placed his hand on Wanda’s shoulder and said.

“He’d be proud of both of you”. Wanda softly smiled and it was at that moment Steve told us to get into position.

#captain america civil war #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x teen reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x teen reader #wanda maximoff x reader #bad wolf

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buckygirl-fanfiction · 7 years

Text

Sparks Chapter 7

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 5.1K

Summary: Bucky and y/n go out to dinner where they discuss their boring love lives. Bucky goes out on a mission and is missing for 2 days. When he returns he goes over to y/n’s apartment because he misses her. y/n falls asleep on Bucky’s lap after 2 days of worrying. They walk the Brooklyn bridge at midnight and have deep convo’s. Bucky’s feelings for y/n continue to grow.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 66 pages. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

October 6, 2015

y/n’s POV

I’m in the lab squinting at the computer screen through a pair of old glasses. I’d run out of contacts this morning and i’d had to resort to wearing a pair of my old glasses. A pair of glasses that i’d gotten back in highschool which were a really old prescription. They were barely helping me see, but it was better than being blind. I tucked a loose strand of hair back into my bun and continued to sqin at the computer screen in my office reading through some recent studies. It was 7pm and me and Bucky had made plans to go out and grab dinner after his mission briefing. Which was taking longer than expected to end. So I decided to read through some studies online until he got to my office. So engrossed in the science I hadn’t noticed that he’d walked in.

“All right, what I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say, ‘Mr. Barnes, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?’” I look up from my computer screen to see Bucky standing in front of my desk.

I raise an eyebrow and pull the pin out of my hair with one hand while pulling my glasses off with the other and shake my hair out and say, “Mr. Barnes I didn’t know you were so kinky.” Then I laugh and see a blurry rendition of Bucky’s face crinkle up and smile. I put my glasses back on and grab my bag.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Yeah let’s go,” I say getting up from my desk.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” he says.

“I don’t really, I wear contacts but I ran out and the new order doesn’t come in until Monday so I’m stuck wearing these for the next couple days,” I say. “But they’re old so you can be in charge of navigating tonight because I can barely see.”

We run into Cho walking towards the elevator and she says, “Hey, what are you guys doing?”

“We are gonna grab some dinner,” I say.

“Oooo yum where?” she asks.

“At that place with those super huge fluffy pancakes,” I say.

“OMG I wanted to go there,” she says playfully narrowing her eyes at Bucky. “No fair, she takes you everywhere.” A small smile spreads across Bucky’s face.

“You wanna come?” I ask.

“No I can’t I have work to do, but have fun,” she says and then walks towards one of the labs.

…

“These pancakes are awesome,” I say cutting into the huge pancake on my plate. “So, how long is your new field mission for?”

“Four days,” he says taking a bite.

“Wow, this is your longest one yet,” I say sticking my fork into a strawberry on my plate.

“Yeah I leave tomorrow morning,” he says in between bites. “If things go well i’ll be back Saturday morning.”

“Ahh just in time for the weekend,” I reply. “Are you allowed to tell me where you’re going?” I ask curiously.

“No, classified,” He says. Then proceeds to tell me anyways, “Chad.”

“Huh, Africa. That’s gonna be a long trip,” I say.

“Yeah, Tony intercepted some intel that connects this terrorist group based out of Chad to Hydra.” He says.

“It always goes back to Hydra doesn’t it,” I sigh. It’s been over a month since our last run in with Maddox at the club. We suspected that he was hired by Hydra, but after that no new news. Well until now.

“We are going to infiltrate their tech base see what info we can find and try to get out of there without being spotted. That way maybe for once we can be one step ahead of Hydra.” Bucky says putting a blueberry in his mouth. He divulges some more classified information about his mission and then we go on to less stressful topics of conversation.

“So this girl asked me out yesterday,” he says.

“Who,” I squeal curiously putting down my fork.

“Her name is Bahni, I think she’s a lawyer,” he replies.

“Body shots Bahni!” I say, “No way!”

“Huh?”

“Oh, she does body shots off of like every hot agent during office parties. So we gave her a nickname,” I say. “She has red hair right?”

“Yep,” he says.

“I bet she wants to do some body shots off of you,” I say winking.

“Stop,” he says playfully.

“What... I mean come on your man boobs are bulkier than mine,” I tease him.

“They aren’t ‘man boobs’ they’re muscle…” he says. “Not my fault your boobs are tiny,” he teases.

“Hey!” I throw a blueberry at him from my plate. “My boobs are not tiny. So when are you guys going out?”

“Next week friday,” he says. “Know any fun places? I am a little out of my element here.”

“Don’t worry I got you old man,” I say smiling. “Hmmm, knowing body shots Bahni you might wanna take her to a club, but since it’s a date you might want somewhere fancier than a that. Oh there's this postmodern art club thing on 19th street. Flashy lights, music, all that but technically it’s art installation so that might be fun. But it’s loud I went there with Nat once, so if you actually wanna have some decent conversation I’d just say take her to dinner at that art deco place we went to with Steve and Wanda a couple weeks ago. I love that place.”

“Alright i’ll make a note of that.” He says.

“Anymore dating advice I can impart on you?” I ask jokingly. This is great I think. Uptight reserved Bucky going on a date. Maybe he is finally starting to feel normal again after his Hydra days.

“Nope.” He says with a smile, “I think i’ve got the rest under control. What about you? Getting anywhere with your office romances?” he says referring to the lab techs I casually flirt with.

“What you mean my great office lover, Dean? Or my tragic hero Sam? Or Stan the cute coffee guy?” I say dramatically. “No, not really. We flirt, he hands me my coffee I go back to my desk, repeat.”

“Good you shouldn’t be dating him anyways, you could do better than the coffee guy,” Bucky says.

“What like a superhero? I think Thor is taken,” I say and Bucky rolls his eyes. “Uh, hmm Dean asked me to coffee a while back but then we never followed up on that,” I say referring to Dean who I work with / not really more like casually see around the lab occasionally. He is in engineering and mostly works on weaponry and other contracts for Tony at another lab. But he hangs around in bio sometimes, where we occasionally flirt.

Bucky and I finish up our dinner and he walks me back to my apartment. Its early October and it’s gotten slightly colder and feels more like fall. I’m desperately trying to hold onto summer but it doesn’t look like it’s going to stay. “Hey, take care of yourself okay? Come back in one piece.” I reach out and give Bucky a hug and for a second I swore I could hear him inhale. Did he just smell my hair? I don’t give it much thought.

“I will,” he replies “You watch out after yourself too.” He says before we part ways and I walk into my building.

Bucky’s POV

I don’t really know what I feel for y/n. She’s a great friend and more and more everyday I’m starting to consider her a close friend. Even though we’ve only known each other for about four months I enjoy being around her. It relaxes me. Her normalness relaxes me. The way she treats me like every other person, her genuine interest in me, her kindness all relax me making me feel ordinary. And I haven’t felt ordinary in a long time. I don’t know why I said yes to that date with Bahni. I’d just met her a couple times I don’t even really know her. But, It might be good for me to go out and have some fun. ‘Stop being so reserved, and mysterious, and alone’ as y/n put it. I guess i’ll take her to that art club thing y/n told me about. Even though that’s not really my scene. I don’t really know what I feel for y/n. I think back to about five weeks ago when the nightmare incident had occur. It had brought out something in me. Something that had freaked me out enough to avoid her for three weeks straight. But thinking back on it what I really take from it now is the knowledge that y/n is a great friend. Even after everything, after three weeks of me being rude and avoiding her, she thought I was worth enough to talks things out with. Not many people are like that anymore. It’s hard to find friends that are more than superficial. I’m glad I found her and I don’t want to adulterate our friendship just because I have a couple misplace feelings… I don’t really know what I feel for y/n. I can’t put it into words. I can’t explain it. But, maybe that's okay. Because the best things in life have a little mystery to them. The best things in life can’t be explained.

October 9, 2015

…

y/n’s POV

it’s been an eventful last couple days like usual. On friday night I got out with the girls. We all agree we are getting too old for the club scene every week so we opt to go out to a fancy dinner. I’m all dressed up and it feels great to be out all dolled up. It’s me, Wanda, Nat, and Cho. Plus last minute Sam who decided to tag along. Everyone immersed in their own conversations and I sit split between listening to Sam’s office escapades or Cho’s drama with Steve. Not really talking much myself I just listen to everyone's gossip and drama. Then the focus shifts onto me when Nat asks, “why are you being so quiet. Any drama you have to share?”

“Unless you count the coffee guy giving me a free muffin, drama, then no” I say.

“Ayy, how about Bucky? He’s a cool guy,” Sam says.

“Yeah, but we’re just friends,” I say.

“That’s not what I hear by the water cooler,” he says giving me an obvious wink.

Why does everyone think something's going on between us? I think to myself. Can’t two people just be friends. “Me dating Bucky would be like me dating you Sam.”

“Hey, babe i’m up for that,” he teases.

Wanting desperately to get off this topic I decide to change the topic of conversation and shift the spotlight off me. “You know what is interesting though, body shots Bahni asked Bucky out,” I say hopefully Bucky doesn’t find out i’ve been gossiping about him. But desperate situations require desperate action, he’d understand.

“Ahh, I remember body shots Bahni… She has a great tongue…” Sam says and every girl at the table narrows her eyes at him. “What? I mean… She did a couple body shots off of me and you know licked the salt off my abs. You guys know how this works.”

“Yeah sure that’s what you mean,” Nat says laughing. Well that successfully drew the group's attention off of me and my love life, or lack thereof. After a lovely evening out I stumble into my apartment around 11 wipe off my makeup and put on my pajamas. Before I call it a night I set an alarm on my phone for tomorrow. I wonder if Bucky will be back tomorrow in time for our run. Probably not I think and I drift off into sleep.

October 12, 2015

…

“What do you mean the jet doesn’t matter?” I say holding the phone to my ear. Its Monday morning and I haven't slept in over 48 hours. It was supposed to be a in and out thing. Bucky and Steve were supposed to be back on the jet late Friday night, arriving saturday morning. Around Friday loss of communication was reported but nothing much was thought of it because their location was still being reported live to the tower. It was classed a technical error and assumed that they had boarded the jet and were on their way back. Well that's what the jet’s GPS had been reporting back to the tower. Early Saturday morning loss of location was reported. Last known check in from the jet was somewhere in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. Ever since then the tower has been on high alert. Two high profile agents were missing. I found out when I woke up around 11am saturday to a phone full of missed calls and texts. The rest of the on call available team members were split half between gathering intel / investigating the two men’s last known whereabouts and between locating the lost jet. “How do you even lose a whole jet?” I say over the phone to Nat who was currently on site in Chad investigating Bucky and Steve’s last known whereabouts.

“Don’t worry about the jet,” Nat says. “They are going to be fine y/n.”

“Don’t worry about the jet?!” I repeat Nat’s words. My brain isn’t working. I haven’t slept in way too long and the anxiety isn’t helping the situation. “Location was lost in the middle of the Atlantic it could have been shot down for God sakes. They could both be in the bottom of the ocean right now.” I say shocked, how could I not worry?

“They aren’t at the bottom of the ocean y/n,” Nat answers calmly. I can hear wind in the background of her call.

“So you have no idea where they are, what they were last doing, or if they’re dead somewhere,” I say I almost want to laugh. This is great. Multibillion dollar technology and it can’t even keep track of two field agents. This has to be a joke.

“Look, you sound tired and stressed. Go home. Get some sleep” Nat says. “Listen I have to go i’ll check back in in two hours. Go home, don’t worry.” Great. I hang up my phone. This is awesome. This is why you don’t get close to people y/n, I think to myself. When they decide to go out and get kidnapped or murdered you’re the one stuck with the hurt. No more superhero friends I think to myself. And how is Nat so calm right now. I need that kind of resolve. That kind of rationality.

“What did Nat say?” Wanda asks from next to me.

“She told me to go home and get some sleep and stop worrying,” I blurt out at Wanda.

“She’s right, you’ve been here the longest. Even geniuses need sleep to function.” Wanda replies.

“No I wanna stay. I can help,” I say. “You’re not going to help anything with sleep deprivation,” she says. She’s right I can’t even read the maps flashing up on the screen correctly. I haven’t had a blink of shut eye since I woke up Saturday morning. Not even a power nap. I’ve just been too anxious to sleep. Why’d you have to go make best friends with someone who is so prone to dangerous situations.

“Alright i’ll be at my apartment, i’ll come back in tonight. Call me if anything, I mean anything, happens.” I say to Wanda before pushing myself off the desk chair and walking through the buzzing agents around the security floor towards the elevator.

When I get home I can’t seem to fall asleep. I pace around the living room, pace around the bedroom, pace around every inch of my apartment till I plop myself down on the sofa and let out a breath I feel like i’ve been holding in forever. Okay, think rationally I say to myself. Getting some rest is the most rational thing you can do right now. Brain power decreases with sleep deprivation and if you’re going to be of any type of help you should be sleeping right now. I kick off my shoes and curl up on the couch and 20 minutes later I stand up again exasperated. I’m too anxious to sleep. “Uhhh!” I let out. I unbutton my jeans pull them off and toss them to the side. For some unexplainable reason I walk to my bedroom open the top drawer of my chest and pull out the t-shirt Bucky gave me. His grey t-shirt from the night I slept over next to him after the club incident with Maddox. I unbutton the blouse i’m wearing toss it on the floor and walk to the shower. After a nice warm relaxing shower I finally feel somewhat less anxious. I get out, run a towel through my hair, and put on his t-shirt and get under the warm comforter of my bed. It doesn’t smell like him anymore, the t-shirt he gave me. I’ve worn it a couple times to sleep already and washed it so it smells like me. My lavender detergent, I like his scent better. I finally drift off to sleep.

The doorbell to my apartment rings pulling me from my sleep. For a second i’m angry at whoever is responsible for waking me up. Then reality and the events of the past two days flood back into my brain and I get up tossing the covers to the side and walk out into the living room. Forgetting to put on a pair of pants I run through my living room past the sofa to the door and pull it open. Standing tall in front of me is Bucky. He’s tall dark and brooding as ever. I don’t believe my eyes for a second, maybe i’m still sleep deprived. Am I hallucinating? I squint through the dark to see him holding my phone. I must've left it at the tower. No wonder Wanda didn’t call me. “You left this,” he says with a smile spreading across his face. An unexplainable sense of joy and relief flood my senses and I reach my arms up and hug him. He seems surprised for a second and then wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly. “You forgot your pants,” he notes with his arms still around me. “And is that my t-shirt?”

I let go of him and flip on the light switch next to the door to get a better look at him. He looks fine. Just peachy other than a small read bruise on his forehead. “Yes, well I was feeling sentimental,” I say answering his question. There’s still a smirk on his face and suddenly i’m a little angry. I don’t know why, there is no rational reason for me to be angry at him. It’s not his fault. But I smack him lightly right behind the head and say, “Where the fuck have you been?”

“Ahh,” he groans. Good I think. “You do that a lot,” he says rubbing the back of the head. “How is any of this my fault? I also have a concussion so I would say ease up on the hitting me.”

“What happened? You were missing for two whole days. Like off the grid you couldn’t call?” I say wide eyed and a little annoyed. Clearly he wasn’t in a jet crash the worst injury he has is a concussion other than that he looks just fine.

“Can I come in? I’m very tired,” he says with the smirk still plastered on his face. I move out of the way and let him in. After closing the door behind him I follow him into the living room and we both sit down on my huge fluffy couch. I have the overwhelming need to close my eyes. I look at the clock on the wall, it’s 6pm I only got about a couple hours of sleep. Now that I know Bucky is okay all the anxiety that was keeping me awake has left and it leaves me very sleepy. “We’re fine by the way,” Bucky says referring to him and Steve. “We got in just fine, gathered the intel, and as we were about to leave we came across something. Something in the information we swiped off the hard drives. Something only someone with high level security clearance would know.”

“So what? Wasn’t that the point of the mission? To steal high level security information?” I say. “What happened with the jet?”

“Yes, from the terrorist base. But this information did not come from them. It came from the tower. It was about our own people, not about their operatives. And the only way they could have gotten their hands on it is if someone from the tower was providing them with insider information.” Bucky says rubbing his head. Aww, poor Buck I thought. His head probably hurts. Well so does mine. From staying up all night worrying about you, you idiot, I think. He continues, “So Steve and I made the most rational decision available to us at the time.”

“What are you even talking about? Intel? I thought the jet was shot down,” I ask.

“Think y/n if they have insider information they have a mole in the tower. If have a mole in the tower, they knew we were coming. They knew we would steal the intel. They knew what we would find.” Bucky says looking at me as if everything he was saying was supposed to make complete sense to me. “It was never their intention for either me or Steve to make it back. If we had made it to the rendezvous point and boarded the jet the mole or someone on ground in Chad would have known our exact location. It would have been an ambush. At the time the best decision was to go underground, hide out until we could safely contact one of our own. That way we could make sure the intel we got would make it back into the hands of someone we trust.”

“You never got on that jet,” I say. It finally clicks. They were never in the jet when it crashed that’s why Nat kept telling me not to worry about the damn jet.

“Nat was the one who found us,” Bucky says confirming my suspicions, she knew where they were when she called me. “Tony and the rest of the main team members were briefed on the situation just hours ago.”

“Nat knew, when she called me. She was with you guys.” I say. Why didn’t she tell me if she knew. They were probably together flying back when she called or else there was no way they could have made it back this fast from Chad.

“Yeah, we had to get the mole off of our trail.” Bucky says. “She arrived in Chad Saturday night and found us in no time. We told her how we’d thrown the mole off our trail by sending the jet back on autopilot. As we suspected there was suspicious engine failure half way through the trip and the jet crashed. But we needed a solid cover to get back to the tower without alerting the mole we still had the intel.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell us,” I say a little hurt. We were all worried and searching blind for two people who were with her the entire time.

“She couldn’t. Strictly only in person communication. We can’t afford letting the mole know we were onto him. If he had intercepted any of our communications the entire thing would have been blown.” Bucky says.

“She’s a great liar,” I say sighing.

“She called you because she knew you would be worried. She tried to tell you without blowing everything. Listen you’re not even supposed to know okay. The official story is Steve and I gathered the and got on the jet Friday night as planned. There was engine failure in the Atlantic, forcing us to make an emergency landing on a nearby private island, where we sent up a flare and were picked up by a charter boat. The jet was destroyed along with the intel we gathered. We made it back today on the boat. Nat flew back from Chad after finding no more information. The mole thinks he is in the clear. He thinks the information we got was destroyed with that jet. The terrorist organization in Chad thinks they’re in the clear, which means Hydra thinks they are in the clear. And now we are finally one step ahead. That’s the official story. I thought you deserved the truth.”

“First Axelrod, now another mole.” I say. At least he told me the truth I think to myself.

“Yeah, a lot is going on,” Bucky says. “Something big is coming. I feel it.”

“And it always leads back to Hydra,” I finish his thought. “Are you okay?” I finally ask. I’m not even mad anymore, i’m just tired and glad that he is back in one piece.

“Just a concussion I have to stay up for a while to make sure I don’t slip into a coma or something,” Bucky says. “And I thought, hey, if I’m going to stay up all night with someone I’d like it to be you,” he says as I yawn. “Okay then come on let’s think of something fun to do.”

“Okay, we can go do something amazing, if you let me sleep for just like one more hour okay,” I say yawning again. Finally realizing how sleepy I am. I lean over and grab the remote from the coffee table in front of the sofa and hand it to him. “Here watch something. I just need some shut eye.” I lean over and grab the throw pillow from the armchair by the sofa and toss it on his lap. I yawn stretching my arms and rest my head on the pillow and pull my legs up to my chest and close my eyes.

“Listen y/n only Steve and Nat know that I told you the truth okay. This is supposed to be a classified mole hunt,” Bucky says and I yawn in response. The last thing I hear before I lose consciousness is Bucky jokingly say “nice underwear.” I feel him cover me with his great big leather jacket and then I hear the faint noise of the tv in the background.

Bucky’s POV

It’s been three hours since y/n fell asleep curled up with her head on my lap. I��ve been watching some world war documentaries I found on her Netflix account. She told me to wake her up in an hour but I can’t seem to find it in me to wake up the peaceful little being curled up under my jacket. She looked so tired when i’d come knocking on her door. With big dark circles around her eyes. She’d been adorably standing in only my t-shirt. I didn’t even know she’d still had it. I felt a familiar feeling rising up in my chest like helium. It was getting harder and harder for me to suppress it. But for now, I thought, i’ll just sit here and do my best to distract myself from it.

y/n’s POV

I stretched and yawned pulling myself up out of my sleep. I sat up to find Bucky still awake watching some documentary on my television. I glanced at the clock and realized i’d slept more than an hour. It was 11pm. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked.

“You looked like you needed the sleep,” he replied.

“Okay, well now that i’m awake. As promised, let’s go do something fun,” I say getting up and picking up my jeans off the floor from where i’d thrown them earlier. I pull them on and go look for my shoes and jacket.

“Now?” he says from the sofa. “It’s 11pm on a Monday night y/n what is there to do? Let’s just order some takeout and finish watching this,” he says pointing at the tv screen.

“No!” I walk over to him and pull him up by his metal arm. “We live in New York, there’s always something to do.” I pull on my boots and wrap a scarf around me and we both head out.

“Where are we going?” he asks.

“We are going to go walk the Brooklyn Bridge and have a deep conversation about life,” I say as we walk towards the subway. The 6 train isn’t as crowded as usual but some people are on it and Bucky keeps his head down. Once we get to the Brooklyn Bridge Station we get off and walk up the stairs back to the surface of the city and head towards the towering bridge.

“No way, I can’t believe you were going to be an accountant,” Bucky says shocked at my revelation.

“Yep freshman year of college I was a business major with a minor in accounting,” I say. “I was going to be an accountant in some boring office somewhere. But life is weird like that and look where I ended up.”

“How about you what did you want to do?” I ask curious what pre-war Bucky was aspiring to be in his day.

“I don’t know I joined the draft pretty early,” he says, “I guess I was just after some glory. I never actually got to find out what I wanted out of life before… well you know before everything happened.”

“If you could do it all over again what would you choose?” I ask him. We’ve walked about halfway across the bridge at this point and we stand leaning against the railing looking out at the shimmering city lights reflecting off the water.

“I’d still choose this,” his reply surprises me. After all that pain and suffering he’d still choose this path? “I’m helping people. I’m helping a lot more people than i’d thought i’d ever get a chance to.” He says looking out into the horizon. “I’ve done a lot of things y/n I wasn’t right for a really long time. But right now, right here. I feel like i’m in the right place. I don’t know if you remember saying this to me. But you told me not to be ashamed of my scars. You told me that they serve as a reminder of where we’ve been, how we’ve survived, and what we’ve been shaped into. And i’ve done a lot and survived a lot. And now i’m just glad that I’ve been shaped into someone who can do some good for the world.”

We stand there in silence. Like he’d just confessed one of his deepest thoughts to me. The night that surrounds us is beautiful and cold. The wind blows through my hair and I shiver. Its mid october and I feel winter just around the corner and i’m dreading it. I’m dreading the cold.

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