#I am getting *some* money from my former job but other people are saying it’s taking about 3-4 weeks to receive the paycheck

[jediexile]

Well my car broke down in traffic and then broke down two more times in the parking lot and the shop has no idea what’s wrong, I need to take my cat to the vet, and I’m currently disabled (but with a diagnosis! So that’s progress!) and completely unemployed so if anyone could spare literally a dollar to my P*ypal @charliew86 that would be massively appreciated

#I can’t even see my partner for emotional support bc they got exposed to Covid #I am severely unwell #I’m so stressed I’m breaking out in hives everywhere and my eczema is very bad #also my pp pfp is of my departed pup 💗 #I am getting *some* money from my former job but other people are saying it’s taking about 3-4 weeks to receive the paycheck #and I don’t have that type of time rn #fyi I was working for Verizon and they laid 10k of us off

[bitethedevil]

Why does Raphael hate Mephistopheles and why does he live in Avernus?: Raphael as an outcast

(It has been a little while since my last analysis post. I would like to remind everyone that what I’m talking about is purely my own theories and I always love to hear other people’s thoughts on them no matter if you agree or not <3.)

As we know, Raphael lives in Avernus and not in Cania where Mephistopheles rules. All devils essentially somehow serve an archdevil. The Nine Hells is a super hierarchical place and everyone below the archdevils are basically little worker bees who live to serve their respective archdevils in one way or another.

Raphael collects souls, so one can expect that his job is to some extent to harvest souls for whoever is above him. One would expect that the archdevil he serves is Mephistopheles, but he indirectly helps us rob his father of quite a lot of souls by telling us about Cazador's ritual. That seems like an incredibly stupid and risky move if he worked for Mephistopheles, so I am not quite sold on the fact that he serves his dear old papa.

We know from the Archivist that Zariel’s people keep a bit of an eye on him and comes and goes in his house. Given he also lives in Avernus, it would make more sense that he is forced to serve Zariel at least to some extent. My money is on the idea that his official superior (or his boss, if you will) is Zariel and not Mephistopheles, though I think he might have once served Meph.

Here is a super interesting piece of information that I found about Avernus (this is from the Fiendish Codex II):

“Avernus is home to the outcasts of Baator, also known as ‘the rabble of devilkin.’ Few lesser devils survive more than a few moments as outcasts, so this group is composed almost exclusively of unique devils who are equals of any duke.”

My theory is that Raphael is an outcast and that’s why he’s in Avernus. Perhaps his father got tired of him and got rid of him, fully thinking that he would not survive. I am almost certain that cambions would fall under the ‘lesser devils’ category, or at the very least they are not on the level of dukes. I feel like it’s also often said that Raphael is pretty OP compared to a simple cambion, which is most likely the only reason he has survived (I’ve also heard people talk about him as a duke, which fits into this little theory as well).

There’s more though, and this is where it gets really kind of speculative:

“Some outcast devils, such as Azazel and Dagon, have been stripped of their original names to reduce the chances that they will be summoned to the Material Plane.”

Now, Raphael is a cambion, so he can move between planes regardless, but it would still be a very shitty and dehumanizing thing to strip someone of their name. Mephistopheles being Mephistopheles probably would do something like that if he was pissed at someone.

I have always thought a lot about his name. “Raphael” is a name that we would mostly associate with angels, and not devils. It furthermore does not really sound like any other devil names I’ve come across. It literally means “God’s healer” or something along those lines.

Wouldn’t it be so in character for his dramatic ass, who loves to play human and to play benevolent savior, to choose an angel name for himself? At the Last Light Inn, he literally says that Mol would not believe that he’s a devil because of his “angelic complexion”.

Finally, there’s this:

“Treacherous and scheming, the outcast dukes constantly seek ways to either reclaim their former positions or ranks in the Nine Hells or to destroy or displace the current order. […] Either way, they serve as important pawns between feuding archdukes and dukes.”

Now that definitely sounds like someone we know. I would very much say that wanting the Crown of Karsus to take over the Hells falls under “destroying or displacing the current order”. However, Raphael still has mentions of his father around his house and he has a portal to Cania.

It would not surprise me that Mephistopheles started to show interest in him again after he survived and thrived in Avernus. It would also not surprise me if Raphael, despite all the hate for what his father has done to him, licks Mephistopheles boots to gain favor with him behind closed doors (or at the very least to gain information to give to Zariel behind his father’s back).

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#raphael bg3 #raphael the cambion #bg3 raphael #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[redrydersrequiem]

Reunited chapter 1

Ok ive been reading ALOT of avatar fanfiction lately and i like many other am obsessed with miles Quartich. So heres a fic for him. Again this is just for my own sanity i think of stuff and i have to write them down or they’ll never leave my head. Love all yall who actually read this again everyone be kind none of this is prof’d. Also just warning for language and I am constantly adding stuff to these because I am always re-reading them and finding issues so again just hang in there with me I like to use gifs/videos and pics to make the story more theatrical in my mind

Updated this 5/2/23

Next chapter

Ok video log 230 My name is y/n y/l/n I was a Corporal for the RDA. I went to Pandora for one reason.

I needed the money

My only living relative, my aunt, was sick. Terminally sick and the regular military benefits were not working. That’s when the RDA swooped in and found me. A young former soldier with experience who needed financial backing, yeah, I see now I was an easy target for them. Anyway getting to Pandora I was placed on the one and only Colonel Miles Quaritchs team. Luckily or maybe not now that I look back I was strictly security for hell's gate. While the others did more field work I was dealing with perimeter checks,Hot headed soldiers fighting, Fixing up my team whenever they didn’t want to deal with the science quacks, and a shit ton of unnecessary paperwork. You know Basic duties, until I was assigned to start helping the scientists out more.

They wanted to start going back out into the forest more often and after watching the beauty of it from the window all the time, I was all for joining them. Even though I was a soldier it didn’t mean I was one of the inhumane jug heads like some. I had passions and loved nature and music, culture, literally devouring anything I could. Grace actually kind of liked me which is why I started spending a lot of time with them despite my unit's protests.

Now don’t get me wrong I loved my unit. After getting past some of their personal walls, all of them were amazing. Loyal to one another. Funny, goofy and everything in between. They were my family, the Lovable brothers and sisters I had never had albeit VERY rough around the edges. It's actually funny now how close i am to everyone and how protective they are over me cause when I first showed up they all almost laughed me out the door. All thinking i was just a young gun that wouldn’t amount to anything just their cute little doctor but after they saw me take down a drunk guy twice my size from another team with vicious savagery,during a night off for all of us, in heels might i add, they all started looking at me in a new light.

(Think something like this clip)

Once comfortable everyone really showed me their true colors.Lyle, as annoying as he was, was also very funny. Just straight up class clown behind closed doors. They are the kind of brother that just comes up to you randomly to mess with you for like a second and then runs away.( his intrusive thoughts when a lot) but he was always my go to to hang out with just cause he would make you forget about the stress of the job.

Zdinarsk was the annoying older sister, beautiful but playful, a piece of candy in every pocket she had, but always willing to share. She also likes to playfully pick on me all the time, but if someone else says something. God help them.

Mansks was more the silent but deadly brother. Always watching out for me, especially when I am out in the field. His eyes trained everywhere you just can’t see it from behind all those sunglasses he owns. He would back up z whenever they heard someone say shit about me, those people never came within my vicinity again. But he also had a softer side, like being an incredible cook. We all call him the grill master, and live for the days he decides he wants to cook. We eat well those days. Ja, brown and prager were like the three stooges together. Sometimes I honestly wondered if they all shared a brain cell. Lopez was cool. He would teach me a bunch of Spanish, mostly curse words but still would teach me. And anytime some music would come on he would be the one to dance with me.

Sorry I'm rambling. All in all I was very close to everyone in our squad of thirteen rowdy marines but it was my home. Now while the others were family Miles was much more.

As soon as I met the colonel I was enamored. It was hard to even describe why or how it happened. At first you think of him as just some hard ass old geezer who would never look twice at you and then you catch him helping his fellow members in tasks. Checking up on them like a dad almost. Learning how I liked my coffee so he can bring it to me in early meetings. While everyone simply thought of him as some hard ass to the book soldier, I thought of him as a trusted leader that has and will continue to bend over backwards to help the people he's loyal to.

Simply put I I fell in love

Despite his rough figure and reputation. I fell in love with him. With the warm smile he only showed when we were alone. With how he knew I loved the plants and things of pandora and would occasionally bring me non threatening flowers when he found them while in the field. How he actually would listen to me ramble to everyone about the stuff I had learned from grace without complaining or zoning out of the confirmation like the others.Stuff like that all garnered points in my heart towards my colonel It wasn’t until almost two years later when I confessed to Miles and to my absolute surprise he reciprocated. Even though he thought he was way too old for me I didn’t care. I had been surrounded by death my whole life so I quickly learned to seize any moment I could never know if that person would be there the next day. It wasn't until a year later that he proposed. That was the same year that Jake Sully arrived.

Jake Sully was granted access I would have killed for. To be an avatar.

Jake was cool, another fellow marine who even though he tried not to show it, was fascinated with the world of Pandora and everything he was learning. A strong and independent person that despite his personal and physical trauma was such a goof. Miles liked him, I could tell. He respected jake for not letting his physical issues take him out. He liked people who persevered through issues. So it was no surprise that Jake was working with grace and i but he was still under the command of Miles.

When Grace decided to take her norm, Max, Jake and others out to the old shack to work instead of hell's gate I was given the option to go with them. Unfortunately I couldn't stay all the time. I wanted to be with my family and closer to better medical help for the life that was now growing inside me.Grace understood that but I for sure could feel the divide that was happening between the two groups of people I found myself Entangled in especially as Jake got to know more and more about the omaticaya clan.

You see, I saw something on both sides. The RDA was all about money and with the way the economy and everything was back on earth money was a necessary evil. While I don't agree with what they were doing, I understood why. With grace, norm, and Jake I saw the beauty of pandora. How much different she was from our own planet that is now no more than dust and metal it feels but here in the plush forests of color it was amazing. I could understand why the natives were so protective over it, myself slowly joining them. A little while into Jake's expedition I even got to meet Neytiri.

She had shown up to the little shack at Jake's persistence to meet me,and norm and to reconnect with grace since she had known her from before. Jake was trying to show her that not all humans were bad, which I can’t say he fully succeeded on but she respected all of us. I mean she was definitely standoffish at first with me, but once she saw my pregnant belly I could see something in her shift. She asked me about human babies and if they were very different from Navi ones. And she asked me about our family’s and about nature and we even bonded over teasing Jake which I found great, much to his detriment. Neytiri was great honestly. She was beautiful and strong and when it all came down to it we found we had more in common than not. I truly started considering her a friend and her doing the same with me.

Unfortunately when I got later in my pregnancy I could no longer fly out to the old shack anymore Miles being a worry wart. Actually all of the team were worriers but I just took it in stride. I knew how much they all loved me and I was happy to stay put to give them peace of mind. The only thing I wish I could do was get them to all stop taking Parker’s orders. It was like we weren’t even soldiers anymore, more like Parker and the RDAs hunting dogs. Even though I tried every day to tell them that the RDA was wrong. I know they were all loyal to a fault but I thought that loyalty was to each other over the RDA. Some would listen to me and agree with some of the things i said but some would just shake their heads at me and tell me we have to do the best we can for our own before trying to change the subject. Hard headed soldiers every last one of them but none more so than miles. No matter how much i speak and i know he listens hes loyal to the rda almost to a fault.

But I didn’t have a lot of more time to try and convince him that the shit Parker was whispering in his ear was all bullshit. It was late evening right before the eclipse that my water broke. God was that fun. 13 hours of labor and my son is finally welcomed into the world. He was so small. Beautiful light blond hair on his head, and his fathers eyes. It was unfair how I carried him for 9 months and he came out looking just like his dad. Everyone was so excited about him though our little Miles Lyle l/n quartich

*(couldn't find if spider had a middle name so just went with they made Lyle his god dad and named him that)

I had just taken the baby to the nurses unit to get his one month evaluation. It’s nice to get out again after being on bed rest for the last month. Everyone’s been very hush hush about any missions and stuff that have happened recently and it's not until I saw Miles and the others in a lab with Parker, that my interest was peaked, since they all would rather die than come over to this section. Walking through the doors everyone went a little quiet. Like teeenagers trying not to be caught in a lie. That was red flag number two.

I see miles talking into a camera and ask what he’s doing. He sates my curiosity by telling me Parker is making the team catch up on their logs so that the RDA has a good view of what's been happening. I know he is lying to me and he’s lucky I'm tired from staying up with our son or I would call him on his bullshit but that will be a conversation for later. He pushed me off to go get some sleep while baby miles was at his check up and that daddy would pick him up and they would join us later and i agreed. Placing a kiss on his lips i make my way out of the lab and towards our shared courtiers

Unbeknownst to him I learned what they were really doing video logs for. After leaving the lab I heard other soldiers talking about how sick it was seeing that big tree go up in flames. And I froze in my spot. No, I couldn't have heard that right. After pulling rank on them they told me what happened and to say I was pissed was an understatement, then being told that the others were now going to attack the omaticaya clan. I was seething. I immediately called Jake and the others knowing grace would tell me what's been happening without sugar coating anything,but found that they were no longer there. That's not good at all. I quickly made my way to the research sector and try to find max or really anyone. Bursting in the labs side room i see max running around like a chicken without a head

“Max where are they whats going on”

“y/n. You shouldn’t be here”

“Max what’s happening the others aren't answering and i just learned Parker wants to declare all out war basically”

“I'm sorry y/n. You’ve missed a lot since you’ve been out with the baby.”

“Well quickly fill me the fuck in.”

Max quiets me and takes me over to a side office shutting the door securely behind us. That’s when he tells me what happened. Tells me how the RDA had attacked Hometree and were now trying to take over the Forest. How Jake and the others tried to help the Navi and were caught and labeled traitors. How he and Trudy helped them escape. Each piece of info was like a knife to my heart. Everything pierced through me, when I asked about what had happened to them All he could tell me is that Jake was trying to get all the clans together to stop the RDA and that the board had somehow been set with jake neytiri and the natives on one side and my love and family on the other being pawns for the rda.

There’s no way. There was no way the people who would come see me and my baby and gush every time they saw him would lie to me. There’s no way the man I loved would lie to me and tell me everything was fine. No I, it couldn't be. I couldn't be stopped as I ran from the room. Once back in my own quarters I empty my stomach in the toilet almost shaking from rage and disappointment when I hear miles come in.

“Mamas your boys are home” Miles comes into the bedroom seeing me sitting on the bed looking pissed.

“What’s wrong darlin.”

“Don’t call me that right now miles.”

“Darlin?”

“DONT.! I got to know miles where do you and the others get off lying to my face.”

“Whatcha talking about”

“I know miles I know about the attack on hometree. I know about Jake and the others I KNOW.” I say screaming. Little miles now crying as I storm over and take him from his father, lulling him back to sleep and putting him in his little room while his predecessor tries to figure out what to say to me.

“Darlin now.”

“No miles this is wrong. I thought we understood each other I thought we agreed that we”

“Well you thought wrong. Darlin. We are not here to make friends with the natives, we are here for the rock in the ground.”

“Fuck that rock miles fuck the RDA the Navi are people they have emotions they have families just like us what makes us so much better to them to do this. They did nothing to us beside try and protect their home the same we would if the roles are reversed”

“Darlin, I think you forget who you're talking to.”

“No, I know exactly who I'm talking to. I'm talking to the man I thought was the love of my life but with every word is slowly proving to me he’s just as bad as everyone originally said.

Miles just grits his teeth as I get in his face. Just because I had a baby did not mean I wasn’t still a soldier. And he was about to relearn that real quick.

“y/n this is the mission i knew i should have pulled you from hanging out with those scientists sooner i knew you were getting too mushy for that natives.”

“Mushy miles what the fuck.”

“ENOUGH! He yells silencing my rant. “At the end of the day i am Colonel Quartich, at the end of the day i'm doing my duty to the human race, and i will not compromise that for anyone.”

“I'm not anyone, I'm your fiancé, the mother of your child. Im”

“You're still a soldier. A soldier under the RDA. Now I think it's time you take a little bit to remember whose side you’re actually on. Our or the savages outside.”

“The only savage I see right now is all of you.” I say as I throw my ring at him before snatching up baby miles things and locking ourselves in the spare bedroom.

I don't see that Miles breathes heavily, clutching his head as he tries not to punch a hole in the wall. I don't see how he reaches down and picks up my ring and pockets it or how he leaves and locks me and the baby in our quarters with strict orders to make sure we are taken good care of. Making sure i stay there while the next mission is about to commence, cause he knows deep down he'll lose me if i go out there.

But like miles said i am a soldier and even though i just had a baby i was not about to let my lover fuck everything up.

It took me most of the next day to get out of the room. But once i finally wired the room door to open I was met with no one there thank god most being called to the front lines. I run to the lab to find Max and others still there trying to figure out what to do. I run over and grab max

“y/n what are you doing”

“Max i dont have time. I have to stop this.”

“y/n there’s nothing you can do now”

“No stop there is always time ok. I need you to help me though i need y’all to look after my baby”

“What y/n no”

“Max, I swear to eywa right now help me.!”

He just puts his hands up and relents one of the female scientists Abby comes over in all her goth glory and takes little miles from Mac promising she would help look after him. I trusted her, she had a good head on her soldiers and was constantly coming to see the baby. She called him her ray of sunshine in the lab. I kiss Miles' little head breathing him in as he smiles up at me, his beautiful little blue eyes the picture of his father.

“I love you my baby. And I pray we are reunited. But I have to go knock some sense into your papa first. Please take care of him.”

“We will y/n. We promise, go give them hell.”

All I can do is nod as I rush away. Leaving half my heart behind in hells gate as the other is lost in the forest. Take one of the new roving speeders and hustle to try and get to the shack its a god ways way but the pilot having my gun to his head helped speed thing along. That is until an arrow comes flying in disabling the copter hurtling us down. The landing was definitely rough and my pilot was dead but i was close enough I could make it on foot. I start rushing through the forest making my way when out of nowhere Dickson comes into my view

He was a fellow soldier. Was on the same transport as me when we first arrived on Pandora but like his last name implied he was a massive dick.Misogynistic, self absorbed, everything wrong with a guy he had wrapped up in a package.

“Well ill be damned the rumors where true”

“And what rumors would that be.”

“That you turned your back on the colonel and the others from some blue dick.” I just grimace at his stupid face waiting to see what move he would make

“I know quartich said not to harm you but if your turning ass and hanging with the tree fuckers then you deserve to die here and now.”

“Then do it you punk ass bitch.” I say before coming at the soldier with gusto. My life is on the line, my son's life. The life of my friends. I have everything to lose and I won't let some gung ho jackass soldier take it all away from me. I need to get to Jake and the others I got to get somewhere to stop miles. Gun shots ring out as I ditch my gun to rush Dickerson. My knife meeting his chest multiple times effectively ending his existence. So long to bad rubbish

I don’t even look back, It wasn’t until I was finally speeding to the old shack that I felt the burning in my side. Shit. I yell out. I have nothing to stop the large hole in my side but I can’t let that stop me now. I'm almost there. I almost have everything I need in the palm of my hands. I know seeing me will stop miles I know I could get him to stand down.

Finally getting to the old shack I see Miles and Jake are going at it, both not backing down from the situation at hand. All I can do is clutch my side trying to stop the bleeding caused from that bitchs gun. I finally get into the clearing yelling out to the both of them.

“MILES, JAKE PLEASE STOP”

They both look over toward me seeing me stumble into the clearing. Jake is all done up in his warrior garb war paint on his face. He has a couple of cuts and nicks all over him. Miles wasn’t any better i dont know what happened to his amp suit but it now had no glass protection. Just miles with a exo mask over his face. The face that briefly looked upon me with worry and anxiety before his colonel mask came back up.

“Y/n get out of here it is not save”

“You don't speak to her sully”. Miles turns slightly to me still keeping jake in his peripheral vision

“Darlin what are you doing here you should be hooded up somewhere with the baby

“This needs to stop, Miles, this is wrong. You know that

“Darlin, I don't have the time to argue with you right now. I have to make sure this deserter piece off trash gets what’s coming to him

“Miles please, he just ignores me turning back to jake fully

“Jake i don't know how you and those scientists took here away from me but ill make sure you regret it

“Miles, listen to me please Jake has nothing to do with this. This is me please, I say trying to stumble further in front of jake. Him trying to reach out to me being shot back by the amp suit taking a giant step.

“Miles don't do this, let's just walk away please. We have little miles we have each other, everyone else that is left from our squad we can all stand down and go be real people, we can all be at peace with the Navi and have our own family. We don't need to fight.

“Darlin i know you aren’t telling me to turn my back on humanity

“No im telling you to choose your family and the people that matter over orders fro people who give two fucks if you lived or died today. Im begging you miles

I see his eyes cloud over with indecision. But I also saw Neytiri. I hadn’t noticed her before, preoccupied with my own wound and trying to save my family.

“Darlin you're right I.” “Neytiri NO.”

But everything is too late. Her arrows pierce through the air just as her battle cry does. All finding their target in my fiancés chest, as he and his suit go crashing into the pandorian forest floor

“NO!!!!!” I scream fumbling over to Miles exo suit.

“NO NO NO no come on miles please please please.”

He is still awake choking on the blood now filling his lungs. His eyes come over to me and he tries to lift his hand to cradle my face

“Miles please no”

“I'm sorry darlin”

“No don't be sorry I'm sorry please don't leave me. I love you so much. Please”

‘Darlin i love you tell miles I love him to”

“No you have to live to tell him yourself please.”

All i can do is clutch his hand against my face praying to whoever i can to save him. But it does nothing as the light leaves his eyes

“y/n”. I hear jake say behind me Gently coming up to me

“y/n”?

“No, leave us alone.”

“y/n come on it's not safe out here”

“It’s too late Jake please.”

Jake doesn’t listen to me and comes up kneeling next to me. Placing his giant blue hand on my shoulder I finally turned into him, letting him envelope me in the hug I oh so needed. Momentarily forgetting I was bleeding out and my love just died in my arms

“y/n I'm so sorry” he says but as he comes up to pull me away and look at me does he notice the blood now staining his hand “Shit y/n are you hit?.” he starts looking over me seeing the gaping wound in my stomach. He gently sits me to lie back on the ground trying to find something around us he can stop the bleeding with.

“Yeah one of those bitchs shot me.”

“It’s ok y/n will get you cleaned up ok Neytiri.” He yells but I just put my hand on his face to bring his attention back to me.

“Jake, I need you to do something for me ok.

“What y/n no you’ll be fine.”

Jake please i'm a soldier i know when a wound is bad. Neytiri please just stop. Neytiri now joins her mate next to me. She looks over me with a sad look in her eyes her ears pinned down almost guiltily but I didn’t blame her

I'm sorry, tiri i'm sorry for everything that has happened to you because of humans but I must ask you. Ask you both a few more favors.

I want you to take care of miles. He's just a baby. He's not his father, he's not me, he's the perfect mix of both. He will be a wonderful human, I know it in my heart. Please don't let him suffer. Please

“We will y/n i swear.” neytiri says next to me, taking my other hand in hers, placing it against her cheek.

I have something else to ask jake. Please give these to miles too.” I hand Jake my dog tags with my ring on them as well as quartichs tags with his.

Please tell him his father wasn’t a monster. He was just lost, and I failed to lead him out. Please

“We will y/n I promise”,

“Tell him I'm sorry I couldn't stay with him but I know he will be better off on Pandora instead of earth.”

They both just nod to me, tears filling their eyes. My body has long since gone cold and I know my time is near.

“My final request for you is to bury us both somewhere nice.

What? Jake asks solumely

“Yeah somewhere beautiful, somewhere in the sun together, maybe then we will be together in the next life.” They both promise me and watch as the rain begins to drop slowly the light finally leaves me and they both just look down in shame and saddens neytiri hugging my small body to her saying prayers to eywa for mine and miles soul. How could she refuse her friend's wishes? She may have not agreed with who her friend's love was but love was sacred. Her and jake would follow the women’s wishes

After the fighting was over Jake, Neytiri and the other avatars and people that had known followed my wishes. Neytiri draped me in a beautiful fabric covered with flowers. Miles was given the same treatment given a warriors garb. Both of us positioned next to each other for the rest of eternity. The omaticaya tell stories of the butcher of the hometree and how he wasn’t evil, just misguided and how it takes those around you to help each other find the right way. The story is really becoming an essential teaching lesson for all children. Miles or spider as he likes to go by now grows alongside the other sully children. Jake and Neytiri really stepped up to be parents to him along with the others who were allowed to stay alongside the Navi after the humans' mass exit. He was definitely wild but very much loved. He knew who his birth parents were and he learned how much they had loved him. Every year he and the others all go out to the grave site to pay their respects.

Everything is perfect for 16 years until one night more stars than usual fill the pandorian night sky.

#miles quaritch x reader #avatar way of water #avatar fanfiction #spider x reader #deja blue team x reader #sully family x reader

[pepperonibread]

Help Bean advertise her writing so she can quit her job (big vents).

So it is currently almost 4am, and I have not been able to sleep. Insomnia is a thing with us ADHD folks, us mentally ill folks, and us depressed folks. It's the perfect trifecta, really. Insomnia and I are well acquainted. But usually, by now, after a long day, I'm out. Tonight? Not so much.

I was just thinking about how sometimes, when I'm trying to write a story, a scene, a character, and its going nowhere, the characters end up talking about other things, or they do something else, or they change. That's kind of how ADHD feels. Its a very, very difficult thing to explain and I'm not sure if this is even a good analogy but its the first one that came to mind and I've decided to go with it.

The story has no direction, you don't know where you're going. That's what it feels like.

I've been having these types of thoughts lately: about how much I want to write, about how I can't afford advertising for my novel, which took a lot out of me, about being chronically ill, and about how all I want to do is write, and I can't because I have a day job that has been slow and not as busy. And my health insurance was canceled from under me, so it's not like I can go to therapy or anything.

So here we are. I, at 4am, wrote a vent post on the internet about mental illness. I'm not expecting this to go anywhere, really. I don't have a large readership. Also, another reason I am freaking out is because I want to write for a living. My dream job is to have no job and just be able to write. I'll be using a personal day at work tomorrow and going back to bed, and my imposter syndrome makes me feel bad for that, even though, at the end of the day, it's just a job. It's just a means to an end. I don't really want to go into detail about it. If you have been around for a while, you know people at my job give me shit anyway for no reason.

I'm tired, and I'm sick, and I'm in a lot of pain right now, and I have a hard time keeping my mind on one thing. And it may be insomnia brain talking, but this post is, as the title says, a post asking for help to advertise my writing so I can quit my job. Yes, here I am, at 4am on the verge of a mental breakdown, asking the internet for help.

I don't know what else to do. I want to write. I want my book to get out there. But I don't want to sit at a desk and talk about the weather and repeat the cycle over and over and over to the point where I'm so tired, and my brain piles up all the thoughts.

I'm not expecting you all to go, "Oh yes, of course, here, have my life savings! Write all the stories you can!" No. That's not what this is about.

It's about being able to buy a few ads for my book to see if I can make some money off of it or at least sell enough copies that I can keep writing. Or buy my book! Share the info on it! Write reviews, tell your friends and neighbors, your cat and dog, and any goldfish you have.

So, if you can't do the former, do the latter. And if you can do the former, I'd really appreciate the help. Here is the link to the tumblr post about my novel, as well as some info about a limited series/story that takes place before it (because I'm backward like that) KOFI TO SUPPORT BEAN

#signal boost #help #help spread my book #novel #self publishing #twinstone #books #writing #authors of tumblr

[iamskadhi]

Story of a villain - Part 2

Hi, Dabi stans, here is the translation of the second part of my fanfiction (it isn't posted anywhere else, btw)

In case you haven't read or want to read the Part 1 of Story of a villan.

As I mentioned before, it is written from a male POV (Dabi's POV), it has a explicit smut parts, includes a little self-loathing, original characters (but the female lead doesn't have a name so you can pretend it's you)

I decided to use the word "part" instead of "chapter" because I actually merged a lot of small chapters I've written before, I'm trying to make it fit in 3 parts so this is the middle of the whole thing and I'm going to say that is so satisfying to write a love story this way, I've never done this before and I highly recomend it now.

The first part has +7000 words and this part has +8000 words, there are no big descriptions of places or time because I tried to write it as a light novel, feel free to send me messages to correct my gramar or if you have any comment about the times not making sense or anything else.

Anyway, I hope you like it.

PART 2

Slowly, we became more than what we were already: a chosen family. Together we found an apartment – smaller than her former place, but nicely located – and for almost a month, I managed to kill most of my old habits, but it costed me, the old me was screaming in the back of my mind next to my thirteen-year-old corpse.

Some nights, we talked about the future before sleeping and I noticed the way she smoothed the ground, patiently helping me to feel safe and at home; she had no idea my home is wherever she is.

Then, I got a job under a fake name. I went from drug dealing in dark alleys to torturing people and now I was a security guard at a downtown club known as Beanie and One Day.

“You’re sketchy as fuck” said the manager, a mid-forty man named Tanaka Haru, “can you throw jerks out the door?”

“I’m not that strong”, I admitted.

He doubted, but I got the job. I got the name, the place, the girl; but it wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t satisfied at all; and only to make things worse, her mother came to our place one morning after my babe went to work, she looked around and tried to bribe me to leave her daughter alone.

“I love your daughter,” I told her clearly.

“You’re ruining her life!” she accused me. “I talked to her father and if you don’t get out of her life for good, he’ll remove her from the company”

I grinned and she looked at me as if I was crazy.

“You wouldn’t. You care too much about what other people thinks”

“Oh, believe me, we would and we will take her out of the country after that, so don’t get too comfortable in this dumpster you brought her to live with you. Take the money, you clearly need it if this is the best you can get” she disappeared ­— she had a teleportation quirk too.

I looked out the window, a black car that was park outside started up and fled immediately; that was probably hers. I wanted to burn the card and money she left, but I let it there, kept the card in my pocket.

When my babe came home, I noticed she was upset too.

“Wanna eat outside?” she asked me.

As we walked, she started to point out all of the benefits of the new place, it made me sad how hard she was trying to convince herself she was okay without all of her privileges.

I couldn’t keep it in anymore:

“Your mom visited” She stopped walking, so I stood there too, “Did you talked to your father today?”

“What did she say?”

Something horrible was going on inside her head, it was obvious, I showed her the card.

“She offered money to separate us”, I burned it “She said you were supposed to go to your parent’s house that night, but I guess you knew that already.”

“I finally got you” she said, “I got you, I can’t be the one who leaves. I started over, I’m adapting”

“No, you’re not”

“Yes, I am!” she looked at me, her gaze was reddish, irritated, I sighed.

“Did you cry today, baby?”

“Don’t treat me like a kid!” she ran her hands through her hair in exasperation.

“I’m not doing that, I see it in your eyes.”

She swore she was fine, but it wasn’t true. After eating, we took the long way home, as we walked in the building her mother’s words resonated in my mind: “you’re ruining her life”.

My babe smiled at me when we entered, put her arms around my neck and kissed me deeply, I closed the door behind us… and clothes started falling on the floor.

If she could smile like that and still embrace me as tenderly as she just did, how could I still believe that her mother was right? I totally screwed her and she was happy with it.

“You still haven’t got your period, you should get tested,” I suggested her when we were done.

“Are you worried?” she put on my shirt.

“I don’t wanna be like our parents”

“Me neither, but it’s too soon to know”

It was killing me and I wondered how she managed to keep it cool and if she even wanted to have kids. I never asked, we never talked about it, I assumed it was off the table.

My heart ached just thinking about it.

Doing a regular job was way boring than I thought it would be, but it helped get my mind distracted; at the end of the shift, the bartender –a mid-thirty man named Haruma— would serve some drinks and the manager  pointed out all the things that should be improved.

“You’re new” I heard a soft voice behind me, a girl’s voice, one of the girls that dance around the place to keep a fun mood sat next to me.

“Hey, Momo, I didn’t see you tonight” Haruma smiled at her, brought another glass for her.

“I kept sober tonight, there are less jerks lately,” she said looking at me.

“Thanks to the new guy!” the manager put his thumbs up for me.

“I suspected it”, she smiled “I’ve been watching you, you got a big reputation”

“He does?” Haruma asked. I tensed.

“Yeah, girl’s notice his cute face and whisper about his scars, how did you get them?”

She pissed me, but the bartender was paying attention.

“Did it myself”

“How?” she wanted to know.

“That’s none of your business”

“I heard you got a fire quirk, Miura” Haruma was too amicable for his own good.

“Really?” Momo giggled. I just nodded and she put her hand on my arm. “I got a water quirk”

I pulled my arm away and jump up the chair immediately; she literally watered me and soaked my jacket sleeve.

“The fuck’s wrong with you?!”

She laughed and grinned.

“I guess we’re not compatible”

I could see that she was insane and I shouldn’t even look at her but she annoyed me.

“Momo, are you okay?!” the manager yelled from the other side of the club.

“That was uncalled for, Momo” the bartender reprimanded her, “Don’t take it bad, Miura, she’s not good socializing, that’s all”

“Put a sign on her next time!” I exclaimed.

“Oh, I can’t wait for the next time” she giggled.

“Don’t be rude” Haruma reproached her again.

I just left. It was still dark; when I got home, my babe was sleeping. We spent little to no time together since I got this job; I took a shower before getting into bed with her and she opened her beautiful sparkly eyes as I laid next to her.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered “Didn’t mean to wake you up”

“How was your night?”

“It was fine”

“Good” she mumbled and closed her eyes again. I tucked her hair behind her ear and she sighed, “You smell nice”

I cuddled her and fell asleep in a minute.

The smell of something very delicious woke me up, I went to the kitchen and saw Hana.

“I’m sorry, were we being too loud?” my babe asked. I shook my head, still sleepy.

“It was the bacon, right? Come, sit” Hana was cooking. “I like your new apartment, it’s close to where I live so I thought I could come and eat breakfast together, I didn’t mean to disturb. It’s nice to see you’ve taken care of your skin” she walked to me and analyzed my face, “but I see a couple of dots near under your eyes, they don’t look like moles”

“It’s nothing,” I said and she left it.

I ate in silence and went back to bed, but I could still hear them talk:

“Did you tell him?” Hana asked.

“No, he won’t take it well”

“You should tell him, though”

I swallowed the bad feeling and slept, but I didn’t rest well.

“What could it be?” I thought before falling asleep, “Did she get tested?”

It clicked my mind: she was pregnant, it was obvious and expected —not “we wanted this” type of expected, but “it had to happen” type. I cooked dinner and waited for her.

Time passed slowly, I called her and she didn’t answer; it’s something that never happens.

“Where are you?” Sent.

A few minutes later, she was writing.

“With Hana” Read.

“At the hospital?” Sent.

“At her place” Read.

I had a bad feeling.

“You OK?” Sent.

“Of course, my love. See you later” Read.

I wasn’t gonna let it slide. I had Hana’s phone number; I just never sent her a text or called her before. No, I did when they were in high school— I thought and called her:

“Hi, hi” she answered.

“Hi, are you having dinner or something?” I asked.

“Who’s this?” she asked, “Oh, Dabi, hi, why do you ask me that?”

I swallowed my saliva as I realized.

“You’re not together”

“I feel like I missed something, I’m sorry, I’m at ER right now and you called me out of the blue…”

“What were you talking about this morning?” I wanted to know.

“This morning? You were there”

“When I left you two alone, that one thing I won’t take well”

There was a brief silence.

“I’m gonna tell you, but act like you don’t know, okay?”

“Why?”

“It’s not that bad. You know the way her parents are and she had to do this, believe me, she didn’t have a choice, well she did but the other choice was something totally irrational and…”

“Spill it, Hana”

“They set her a date with some wealthy prick, she already knows him from college and he’s an idiot, she had to go, trust me, trust her, she’ll just go to dinner with him tonight and it’s done, please don’t freak out”

“Where?”

“I don’t know” she mumbled, “I swear. She mentioned it but I’ve never been there, it’s new and stylish, the kind of place her mom adores; I just know it opened this week”

That was the only clue I needed.

“Do you know when they’re supposed to meet?”

“Please just let it slide, they must be there already, she’ll be home real soon”

“Thanks” I hung up. I had to see the wealthy prick.

If they met in college I had someone in mind, I hated thinking about it. Searched online for newly opened restaurants and went straight to the one that looked more stupidly pompous.

It had big fucking crystal doors but no windows, I had to go in; the host welcomed me with a fake smile:

“I’m sorry. We have a dress code, sir”

I ignored her and walked in, looking around, she followed me, heard some gasps and I saw them. I fucking saw the same asshole that used to stalk her back in college and felt the anger heating inside my chest.

A waiter addressed me: “I’m sorry, gentleman, but you have to respect…”

“Who’s manning that table?” I pointed them.

“I’m sorry again; I can’t give you that info…”

I walked to them, she hadn’t see me but I stopped when she stood up and spilled her wine on his face. He got up too, a waiter jumped in offering a napkin and I hurried to the table.

“You’re still the same immature little girl, I see” the prick said walking towards her, I reached him just in time, put my hand on his shoulder.

“Long time no see, fucking loser”

She widened her eyes surprised; she really didn’t noticed I was there until now.

“Who the fuck are you?” he looked at me confused; I grinned and let a little blue blaze out my hand on his shoulder.

“You forgot about me? That’s sad, I remember you perfectly, fucking asshole”

He squealed like a little bitch, I perfectly saw in his eyes when he remembered; she jumped in and pushed me back.

“Dabi, let’s go” she said while pushing me “Let’s go, let’s go”

I let go of his shoulder and stepped back, grinning like a devil, mad as fuck:

“Damn, you’re lucky we’re at a fancy place!”

“Please, let’s go!” she took my hand and pulled me, we rushed out of the restaurant, when we were outside I confronted her:

“Why did you do this?”

“Why did you do that?!” she reproached me.

“No, there’s no possible way you can turn this on me, what the fuck happened?”

She looked at me as if she was completely out of her mind before turning her back on me, and walked away.

“Where the fuck are you going?” I followed her.

“Home! I need to change!”

“You need to explain!”

“No! How did you find out?” she bawled, “Why are you here? Why…?”

I reached her hand and stopped her, people walked around but I had to see her face; she was turning red but she wasn’t crying.

“What would you have done if I hadn’t been there?” I asked calmly.

“I would’ve teleported out of there,” she said, but I know she wouldn’t have done that. “I would’ve go home, like I’m trying to do now” she hugged herself.

She was gorgeous; wearing a red dress and her hair up, she looked like a movie star or a model. I really wanted to fight for this, but I also wanted to take her home and make love to her fully dressed like that.

“You asked Hana, didn’t you?” she looked at me, still upset, and I nodded.

“Let’s go home,” I said, put my arm around her waist and walked with her.

“Yeah, I really wanna change” she mumbled.

“No, keep it” I said with a smirk and I saw her smiling too.

“Wanna take shortcuts?” she asked and pulled me to the first dark alley we saw.

Teleporting with her was like jumping, except you don’t feel the fall; she wrapped her arms around me. When I first met her she could teleport in a radio of fifty meters —she was awesome–, by now she can do over a kilometer, maybe two.

We’ve done this before and I trusted her, but it still made my legs wiggle, she kissed me with each jump, avoiding street lights, avoiding CCTVs, when we were near the building, she stopped and I felt my legs wiggling like jelly.

She mocked me but I didn’t mind; we ran to the apartment like kids running home after school, this was the kind of things that made me fall for her despite… everything. When I’m with her, the rest of the world vanishes.

We made out in the elevator and barely managed to open the door in-between all the kissing, laughing and touching. We were role-playing and she was being incredibly clumsy.

“Oh no, mister robber, please don’t hurt me with your giant… tool.”

We laughed. She was doing it on purpose, no matter how serious I tried to be, she was faking a voice, she had to be a dummy.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you but the only valuable thing in this place is me”

I gazed her body up and down. What a woman, I thought and I took my jacket off.

“So what would you do if I went to touch you now?” I aimed to touch her waist and she stepped back grinning, very professional. I bit my lip.

“Oh no, please, my husband will be back soon!” she exclaimed.

“Then I gotta hurry” I touched her arm and she teleported us to the bed, I wasn’t expecting it but kept it cool and took my shirt off, I felt her hands going up touching my abdomen, “Stay in character, honey”

“Shit, nooo, mister robber, what are you doing to me?” she said as I took her underwear down her legs.

“Enough is enough!” I couldn’t keep it together anymore, kissed her deeply, suck her tongue into my mouth while putting two fingers inside her, and massaged her clitoris with my thumb. The red dress was almost as soft as her skin.

She moaned and undid the button of my jeans. I wanted to scold her for being so bad at role-playing but it could wait ‘till morning. We had a rope in the nightstand for this kind of situations; I tied her wrists together and let my jeans fall down.

She looked at me with thirsty eyes as I put on a condom and let a sigh out when I dived deep inside her; I kept a hand down on her hips and covered her mouth with the other while licking and sucking her precious neck all the way from her collarbone to her ear.

Soon, I forgot about the role-play too, kissing her deeply while she clawed her fingers on my hips and pulled me in desperately as I pulled out; she already wanted to come. I pulled out and turned her on her stomach, she lift her ass and I dived into her again while playing with her clitoris.

She buried her face on the pillow and I left my weight fall a little on her, put my ear on her scapula and felt her taking long deep breaths. I felt her loose strength as she was coming done. I pulled out, still hard as fuck, to allow her to turn around.

“I think we ripped the dress” she sighed.

“Shit, I loved this dress”

“I could tell how much you loved it” she said when I untied her wrists and checked the hour. “If you’re getting late, let’s make it worth”

She gave me that smile she has when she’s expecting another round.

That night my pay was deducted a thirty percent, but I was so satisfied that it could’ve been completely deducted and I wouldn’t mind.

The next few days felt like a honeymoon, not only because the sex, everything was suddenly working out. I spent so many years thinking I would never fit into a normal lifestyle, obsessed about heroes and becoming the best of them... Or maybe I’m very printable, I thought.

I was obsessed with the hero’s path because my father was a hero himself. He is still a hero. Now I was living with someone that always lived a regular life and I could live like that only because of her.

“Did you ever think about becoming a hero?” I asked her. She looked at me, confused.

“We’ve had this talk before”

I remembered the first time that I saw her, she was training her quirk behind her parent’s back. She was too mad at them because her life was made since the day she was born, she didn’t have siblings like me because her mother hated being pregnant, therefore she had no voice in their house. Training her quirk at a crack house was her only rebellious phase.

That and dating me.

“How could you fall for me?” I asked.

She laughed.

“Remember that day I jumped off the roof and you screamed you loved me? You already knew I can teleport anywhere, anytime, but you were so desperate thinking I was trying to kill myself. We were messed up kids who taught ourselves how to live, how could we ever just be friends?”

That was an embarrassing memory, I really believed she was done with her life and her parent’s expectations and I ran upstairs to that roof. She jumped before my eyes and my hands couldn’t reach her, of course I was desperate and I screamed.

“You were so cute” she sipped her cup of coffee with an annoying grin.

“If you’re pregnant I’m telling that story someday”

She stared at me, blushing until her face turned all red.

“You manipulated me” I said and she laughed.

“Maybe I did” she admitted. “I liked you but I never thought you loved me”

On my day off, I went to the mall attempting to buy a coffeemaker like the one my babe had before, but of course, I couldn’t afford the exact same machine so I had to buy the next best option.

I was waiting in line to pay, when I notice the woman in front of me had white hair with red stripes. It’s not possible, I thought, chill – but I couldn’t resist myself and tried to look at her face. She noticed and looked back.

“I’m sorry” she said immediately when she made eye contact - took me by surprise, “are you in a hurry? My cart’s full, you can pass before me” she offered politely.

“I’m good” I said. That was definitely my sister.

“Okay” she said and she looked at me timidly, it made me wonder…

“What’s the matter?”

If maybe, she did recognize me.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to stare at you like that” she stuttered. “It’s just…” she looked at my black hair “that you look like someone that I miss”

She’s lying, I thought and swallowed my saliva nervously, stay calm, stay calm.

“What?” I asked.

Don’t fuck things up, do it for her.

“Someone that I knew, I meant someone that I knew,” she lied, “I’m sorry, I felt nostalgic for a moment, you can go before me, seriously,” she offered again.

“Fine” I said as I walked by her side, “thanks”

“You’re welcome” she smiled.

Not only my hair or my piercings, my voice is different, I thought, but she knows. I looked over my shoulder and she smiled.

Or maybe I’m losing my grip again. Forget it, forget them.

Back home, I questioned myself if I should place the coffeemaker as if it has always been here or if I should’ve wrapped it with a bow and all.

I called Hana and she laughed at me.

“I’m sorry, that’s so cute. I think you should place it there and count the minutes, we can make a bet about how long it will take her to notice”

“She’s a caffeine maniac, she’ll notice immediately”

“Na-uh, it’ll take her like ten minutes at least, pregnancy makes woman very absent-minded. I can see her using the French press and then…”

“What?”

“What?” she shut the fuck up.

“That thing you said about pregnancy”

There was a brief silence and she said nervously:

“Oh no! A car crashed somewhere and I need to go, bye”

I stayed standing like an idiot for a couple of minutes, staring at the coffeemaker. It wasn’t like I didn’t suspected it or I didn’t know, but the fact that Hana knew her period was late and seemed to have confirmed she was pregnant didn’t sit well.

I felt betrayed.

Searched online everything about pregnancy symptoms, I also felt curious about what to do with a newborn, I read everything I found and it was so much to handle, I felt the urge to throw up.

“I can’t do this” I said to myself while scrolling down my phone’s screen. I remembered my father. “I won’t be like him”

Rage filled in. I tried to picture it: the baby, a real baby.

What if they have my quirk?

What if they have my weakness?

I felt the urge to leave.

If they don’t have a quirk, it’d be fine.

If they have my babe’s quirk, it’d be fine.

My mind was tricking me, asphyxiating me.

I put my phone on the table and left the apartment, walked around the building, then wandered further and faster; almost running.

I saw a couple of those stupid heroes on the other side of street.

What if they want to be a hero?

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped walking.

“My love?” I heard her voice, but couldn’t see her. “Dabi. What are you doing here?”

I looked around, everything was numb and she appeared before me. Perfectly normal, glowing eyes looking in mine, she took my hand and intertwined our fingers.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Tell me”

She was like gravity, bringing me back down to the cold hard ground.

I can’t fuck this up, I thought. I pulled her closer to me and whispered in her ear:

“I missed you”

“I’ve got something to tell you” she whispered back.

“I’ve got a gift for you”

She smiled.

On the way home, I told her about my little trip to the mall, she listened careful; she could be strange and mad, but she always understood when it comes to me – to my family’s mess. Even though we were raised in completely different types of asylums.

“Welcome home, cheater” I said when we were walking inside the apartment, she looked at me as if I was crazy.

“What?” she asked.

“Hana told me” I crossed my arms trying to look dead serious “Is she the father?”

She realized and burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked her, she was holding her stomach and covering her mouth but couldn’t hold it in.

“I’m so-I’m sorry” she laughed and laughed, completely out of control, “I was gonna get so angry if you were accusing me for real of cheating. You can be so dramatic sometimes, I love you”

“When where you gonna tell me?” I wanted to know.

“Well, you know, I was gonna walk in with a baby one day and…” I stared at her, I was done with the jokes and she saw it in my face “My love, I just found out, I swear”

“When?”

“Hana took the blood sample and she sent me a message with the results this morning, I promise you I was gonna tell you at dinner”

I gasped for air and pointed at the box in the kitchen.

“Oh my God, Dabi!” she covered her mouth and jumped in excitement like a kid, “thank you, thank you, thank you!” she hugged me before unpacking it.

She looked so happy. Then, I remember what I read about caffeine during pregnancy and tried to take it away.

“I’m returning it” I said.

“What?!”

“Caffeine isn’t good for the baby” I lifted the coffee machine when she tried to take it back from my hands, “You’re gonna settle with a cup per day from now on”

“HELL NO!”

She turned into a demon in order to take over the coffeemaker again. What did I just get into?, I thought as I found myself losing a battle to her for the first time in forever. I sat out the door in the hallway during thirty minutes until she forgave me for trying to do things right.

A week passed but I felt frozen in time, she made an appointment for an echography and I knew I had to go, I said I would, but I missed it. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t showed me anything, as if it didn’t happen.

I could feel when I’d come back from work, every time I laid in bed next to her she’d wake up and stare at me. I felt the silent pressure of her gaze and for a fortnight, there we were acting indifferent to each other. No sex, no fights, no talking.

One night after work, I was with the bartender, killing time, when our boss joined us:

“So… ho-how are you?” he asked me directly.

“Fine”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing” Haruma said, “but he doesn’t open up no matter how much whiskey I put…”

“Whiskey?” Tanaka gave him a look, discontent, tired and sighed making a sign to pour a glass for him before turning back to me “Anyway, you’ve done a decent job but lately, you’re scaring the clients – real clients, not just your target clients, it’s not good for the business”

Maybe they can relate, I thought, maybe I should let a wall down.

Our boss was expecting me to say something and Haruma was really bad at pretending he wasn’t into the conversation.

“Do you… have children?” I asked in a very low tone.

“Fuck no” the manager puffed.

“No, no, no, no” Haruma shook his head frenetically, then he asked with a childish smile “Is your girlfriend pregnant?”

I didn’t answer.

“Kids are cool, I dated a single mom once,” he continued.

“Hey, don’t say weird things” Tanaka scolded him.

“But it’s true! She was older…” Haruma started a narrative but he was too into himself that he didn’t notice no one was paying attention.

“Now I understand” my boss seemed concerned, “How do you feel about it? Shock? Sad? Wanna go and buy cigarettes?”

I looked down, he was seeing right through me.

“I should give her a call” Haruma finished his story with a longing sigh. “Hey is it true woman turn lustful when they’re pregnant?”

I gave him a cold stare and he made a face, realizing he fucked up.

“I’ve seen you picking up girls almost every night, how come you haven’t gotten anyone pregnant?” I asked him and the manager scolded him again, attempting to hit him from across the table.

“I’ve told you to stop a fucking thousand times, that’s why they never come back! You fucking piece of shit!”

“Dabi, how could you?” Haruma avoided every hit like he was used to this.

“And ain’t you married?” I addressed Tanaka, he had a wedding ring on his finger.

“Yes, to a man” he said resolute.

“I’m sorry we can’t advise you, Dabi”

“You’re on your own, kid” the manager patted my shoulder while pouring some more whiskey for himself.

“But I’m curious about something” Haruma put his face on his hand, awkwardly close to mine. “Are you in love?”

His breath hit my nose; the manager sighed and I couldn’t shut up: “I am madly in love, I cannot breath when she’s not near, I love her”

“Aww that was sweet” Haruma smiled.

“You could’ve been a detective if you’d stayed at school” the manager said to Haruma.

“Yeah, but bartending is fun” Haruma said with a sly grin. I looked at him confused, and he explained immediately: “My quirk forces people to be brutally honest. One day I asked my father why he was mean to me and he said he hated me because I killed my mom during labor”

Our boss lighted a cigarette for himself.

“You know it’s not true”

“Well I didn’t kill her, it’s not possible, but she died and he blamed me my whole life. I dropped high school and left his house, I’ve been on my own since then”

“So you’re in love, that’s why Momo couldn’t pull you up” Tanaka smiled at me, “that’s a relief, she’s the reason I had to fire the guy before you”

“That and he was also a jerk” Haruma said.

“He was tall and strong…”

“I hated him!” Haruma insisted.

“He was perfect for the job until she messed with him!”

“Then why didn’t you fire her? He was an asshole, you just can’t admit it because he’s your type!”

They started and argument and I had to leave. It was early; the daylight was clearing the streets as I was walking home. If I was so in love and if I had pictured us as a family before, why was I so nervous? Why did I feel like I could go away on my own at any given minute?

I stayed in the living room for a moment, took a bath and went back to the couch; she came out of the room and looked at me.

“Are you okay?” she asked. My body moved by itself, walked towards her and hugged her, “Did something bad happen?”

“I never asked you how you feel about this. I never asked you if you want this. I assumed you were fine because I’m here but I have no idea what’s going on or what to do to make things right”

In other words, I was an idiot.

She hugged me back, her nose snorted and I felt her crying on me as she ranted:

“I had no idea how to talk about this, I feel like a mess! I’m not doing good at my job and I can’t handle a household even when this is a smaller place. The other day I said ‘hi’ to a baby in the street and he cried! Then I cried and his mom was so nice, she comforted me when the baby stopped crying!”

She started to say unintelligible things and I just nodded and patted her back as she continued:

“What, when and how am I supposed to tell my parents? My mom is gonna bully me so hard if I cry when my own baby cries!”

She cried long and loud for good thirty minutes before getting ready for work, she used a couple of cold spoons to deflate her puffy eyes.

I was tired but I could barely sleep. I felt curious about Haruma’s quirk and how much information he could get out of anybody.

“I learned the hard way that pushing people’s boundaries is a double edge sword,” he told me. I thought it was because of his father, but he continued: “One time I took a girl home, I used to ask them what kind of stuff they like…“

He kept talking, he reminded me of Hana and despite I liked them both, I would never put them in the same room together.

“So, who is it?” he asked, “Your girlfriend?” I didn’t say anything and he smiled, “bring her one night, I’ll make some alcohol-free cocktails just for her and I’ll ask her whatever you wanna know, but… don’t resent me later”

Our boss appeared behind him and hit the back of his head.

“Don’t listen to a word he says, whatever you’re planning don’t do it” he warned us.

“Tanaka!” Haruma bawled, rubbing where he was hit.

“I heard ‘bring her’ and I don’t care who you’re talking about, you better don’t bring anyone to meet this slut man”

“Tanaka, that’s rude!” Haruma cried louder.

“Don’t be like this, Tanakun, let him bring her” Momo sat next to me, “I’m curious about the type of girl this idiot likes” She gave me a shiver “how many girlfriends did you say you’ve had?”

“I didn’t say” I said as I stood up to leave.

“See you tomorrow, Dabi!”

Haruma and our boss said goodbye, but as soon as I was walking out, I felt somebody following me. She didn’t even hide.

“Stop the stalking” I told her when she approached me.

“It’s not stalking, I’m just walking in the same direction that you are” she defended herself, but this wasn’t the first time she tried to follow me.

“Okay, walk then” I made a sign with my hand to let her pass in front of me and she smiled.

“Are you going to walk behind me? Do you like that kind of stuff, Dabi, chasing pretty girls on lonely streets?”

“There are no pretty girls in this street, just go your own way” I said as I walked back to the club, but she didn’t left me alone.

“You’ve never had another girlfriend, have you?” she asked, “Maybe you should sleep with other girls so you could see that sex isn’t a fucking big deal, you don’t have to run away from me all the time!”

I arrived and saw Haruma and Tanaka closing the door.

“Did you forget something?” Tanaka asked, but I shook my head.

“Where you going? Wanna share a taxi?” Haruma asked.

They lived in the opposite direction, but I nodded. Haruma complained a lot in the back of the taxi, he was saying it’s my fault that he had to share a taxi with Tanaka; I fell asleep.

I woke up when we arrived at Tanaka’s house. Haruma was there:

“I thought I’d have to carry you” he sighed in relief.

I tried to leave, but they didn’t let me.

“I know where you live” Tanaka said, “You’re running away from something. What is it? You forgot to collect laundry?”

Haruma laughed: “Married people are a different breed”

“We’re not married,” I said.

“Yet” Haruma said. “Oh! Tanaka, your husband”

A mutant came out of a room, a big, tall man with two pairs of arms and eyes. I tried not to stare.

“We didn’t mean to wake you up, Beanie, sorry” Tanaka said, but his husband said it was fine, they went to the kitchen and I noticed he was staring at me.

I smirked when I realized why the club’s name is Beanie and One Day.

“Do you know each other?” Haruma asked me and I denied it.

I started to receive a couple of messages from my babe.

“Don’t worry. See you at home soon” Sent.

“That’s not right” Haruma said, looking at my messages before taking over my phone, “Give me that!” he wrote something really fast and sent it, then took a picture and sent it. “Now we’re good”

My phone ringed a couple of times, Haruma read the messages and smiled pleased with himself.

Tanaka and his husband put a few plates and juice for us – his husband was drinking coffee.

“It’s good to see a new face, this never happens” his husband said politely. “What brought you here?”

“Momo” I said.

Tanaka jumped in his seat and his husband grinned.

“I told you that girl means troubles, nothing stops her ever, I knew it since she tried to mess with my nephew”

“We’ve had a long list of security guards,” Haruma told me.

“And why haven’t you fire her?” I asked Tanaka.

“Look, she’s harmless, she dances well, and she…”

“She’s an orphan” his husband interrupted, “and this guy over here has a terrible savior’s complex. Momo’s an orphan, Haruma was neglected and I suppose you…”

I nodded; he was kinda right. Tanaka exhaled:

“I’m gonna talk to her again, just give her time”

“Time for what?” Haruma asked him, “If she keeps trying to follow him she’s gonna do something stupid, you know her”

“Well, if I fire her she will come back as a client”

“Why she doesn’t cause you any trouble?” I asked Haruma.

“Oh, she likes tough guys and I’m a cinnamon roll”

Beanie laughed, squeezed Haruma’s cheek and said:

“It’s not just that, she likes to break her favorite toys”

“Here we go again” Tanaka rolled his eyes.

“I hate to say ‘I told you so’, but you know I’m right” He finished his breakfast, “Listen, she doesn’t just wants to hook around, she likes breaking hearts, she likes to make guys obsessed with her and dump them like trash”

Haruma put his arm around my shoulders and pointed at my face.

“The thing with this guy is that he’s already obsessed with someone”

“Oh, a challenge, she hasn’t have to deal with someone in love before” Tanaka’s husband analyzed me, looking somewhat pleased.

“You should go to work, honey,” Tanaka said.

“Sure, I’m leaving, but I wanna know something first” he said and looked at me, “what’s your girlfriend like?”

Haruma smiled and asked too:

“Yeah, what is she like, Dabi?”

It hit me again; I recognized it this time, I immediately bursted out a ton of cheesy compliments about her image — like her captivating sparkly eyes, contagious laugh— and personality —how kind she is and tough at the same time. I felt exhausted when I was done and had to take a deep breath.

Beanie and Haruma seemed extremely satisfied. Tanaka looked at me worried. For myself, I think I fainted after that.

Suddenly, I was at my birth house.

I heard mom humming in the kitchen, Fuyumi was helping her to make dinner, I could smell it; Natsu crossed the front door and greeted me.

“When did you get here?” Natsu patted my back when he walked by.

“Touya, help us set the table” Fuyumi told me from the kitchen’s door. Mom smiled at me, behind her:

“Touya! Welcome home!”

I tried to reach them, I really tried, but the room stretched as Natsu, Fuyumi and mom stared at me from afar.

“Did you go to Sekoto Peak again, Touya?”

That man, my father, was by my side wearing a frown and the house disappeared and turned to the forest.

The forest was on fire, my blue fire, and my babe was standing there. I called her name but nothing came out of my mouth so I screamed – still nothing - and the flames embraced her but she didn’t move.

A bucket of cold water hit me and woke me up; Tanaka and Haruma were standing in front of me.

“What the fuck were you dreaming?!” Tanaka asked.

“Dude, your face!” Haruma looked at me terrified.

I touched my face, it was hot, and I used my phone’s camera to see the damage: a mark of burnt skin appeared around my collarbone. It wasn’t that bad.

“You seem to be used to burning yourself, it doesn’t hurt?”

“I am used to this, a friend fixed my face a couple of months ago” I sighed when I realized Hana was gonna kick me.

“A couple of months, then your girlfriend has seen you like this,” Tanaka mumbled.

“So we don’t have to worry about her getting back at us” Hamura sighed in relief, Tanaka looked at him in disapproval.

“Watch your words”

“It’s fine” I said, “Thank you… for everything”

“Thank you for not burning yourself to death”

“Tanaka, don’t say that!”

“I’ve done worse. I need to go home” I said.

Tanaka invited me to eat first and brought a burn cream for me; after that Haruma and I left, we were walking side by said when he started talking:

“Hey, about your thing with Momo…”

“I don’t have a thing…”

“My bad! It was a poor choice of words, but I wanted to let you know, she’s not like that. That thing Tanaka’s lovey dovey said before... Momo likes to make guys fall for her, but she’s scared of commitment.”

“So what?”

“I thought you could trick Momo into thinking you’d dump your girlfriend for her, you don’t have to go all the way with her. Just pretend she caught your eye, take her to the movies…”

“No”

“Well, it’s respectable. See you later!”

In the subway, I thought about inviting an iced coffee to my babe, so I took my phone to send a message and read all the stupid messages Haruma sent her.

“Hi hi, this is Haruma, a friend from work your fluffy-haired boyfriend made, he’s with me and our boss right now, we’re having a little reunion but don’t worry, we’ll return him later, safe and sound - pinky promise” Sent. Right after my last text.

“If he’s not friendly, why friendly shaped?” Sent, with a blurred picture.

“Hello, Haruma, thank you for taking care of him.” Read.

“Have fun” Read.

“Sorry, we broke him.” Sent with a picture of me sleeping on the couch.

“LOL, send me another please” Read.

[PIC][PIC][PIC][+7 PICs] Sent.

“TYSM♡” Read.

It’s like they’re speaking another language, I thought.

Then I remembered what I dreamed and tried to take it off my mind, but I couldn’t. I was just entering our neighborhood when she called me, except she wasn’t the person on the other side of the line.

A police officer introduced himself and explained a fucked up situation:

She was at the police station. There was an illegal use of her quirk. She caused a public disturbance. She had a verbal fight with a hero.

Each sentence the officer said was more ridiculous than the previous one, then he mentioned a car accident and I lost it.

At that moment, I wish I could teleport like her, but the only thing I could do was take a taxi. When I arrived, she was sitting in front of an officer’s desk, he was yelling something at her and she was quiet, just taking it.

“If she was in an accident why are you yelling at her?!” I yelled at the officer, she looked at me and jumped up, there were no visible injuries or scratches; the officer stood up too and a couple more hurried as if we were gonna fight.

“Is this your husband?” he yelled at her again, as if I wasn’t there.

“You bet I am!” I walked furious towards them.

“What the fuck did you tell him?” she asked him upset.

“What happened?” I wanted to hear it from her, but the officer didn’t let her talk.

“She caused a public disturbance when she verbally fought with a hero that was about to save a kid…”

“I already told you that is not what happened!” she exclaimed, absolutely mad, “that dickhead hero caused the car accident right after I saved the kid, check the goddamn CCTVs!”

“What hero?” I asked.

“Nobody important” she said calmly and turned back to the officer, “there were eyewitnesses and you, the goddamn police! Just took the hero’s word for granted! Fucking inefficient!”

He wrote something while shaking his head, I felt the urge to burn everything down but I looked at her, she was mad but she looked fine.

“Should I take you to the hospital?” I asked her but she refused.

“You can’t go anywhere until you pay the bail,” said the officer and pissed me off, I wanted to burn him to ashes.

“You should’ve start there” she reproached him with fire in her eyes, pulling her wallet out of her purse.

“And you still owe an apology to Beast Arms”

“He’s the one who should be apologizing!” she complained, “that fucking beast almost killed somebody”

She was distressed; it was all over her face. When we walked out of the police station, I hugged her and she cuddled, her scent filled my nose and I patted her back.

“I fucking hate heroes” she complained, “this was all his fault”

“Today was a long day for the both of us” I whispered. She touched my collarbone.

“I noticed,” she whispered back.

“What happened?” I still wanted to hear it from her.

“I was walking home and I saw a kid running, he crossed the street at a red light and I just teleported to get him and teleported back to the sidewalk with him. Out of nowhere, that dumbass hero jumped at the same time we appeared back in the sidewalk, and he didn’t just stopped the car, he crashed it! Can you believe it?! And it wasn’t just that car, the one behind it and another crashed too! It was madness! And the idiot looked around and saw me with the kid crying and addressed me as if I did something wrong, he jumped in too hard he could’ve smashed the poor kid!”

“Why was the kid crying?”

“He was trying to catch his puppy, that’s the worst part! I didn’t see the puppy, I just took the kid back to the sidewalk and the hero was yelling at me and I saw the poor thing lying dead in the middle of the street, so I yelled back at that stupid piece of shit! He’s supposed to be trained, he’s supposed to see the whole situation before jumping in to action, he could’ve save the puppy, but noooo!”

She kept ranting and moving her hands in the air and I was so enchanted by how much she depreciated that hero that I wished it was Endeavor the one that stood in her way. I would’ve killed to see the old man being reprehended by her in front of a crowd.

She was so into it that she didn’t notice I was taking her to the hospital to make sure she and the baby were fine. That night I saw for the first time an echography, the doctor said everything was normal but I felt like an idiot because I saw nothing on the screen.

They both laughed at me.

“It’s always hard for new parents, especially the dads” the doctor said, she was really nice, “I’m gonna show you something cool”

Suddenly Hana came in.

“Hi there! Whatchu doin?” She saluted playful as usual, but her eyes looked tired.

“Hana, shh” the doctor shushed her and my babe waved her hand.

A sound filled the room, it started as a numb beat and then it cleared… my babe closed her eyes and the doctor smiled. Hana covered her mouth with one hand and put the other on my arm while jumping in excitement.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeats,” she whispered but she probably wanted to scream.

I felt something warm in my chest, something I wasn’t able to put in words but it compared to the day I made blue flames, it filled me with joy somehow. I wished it would last forever.

#dabi #my hero academia #bnha #touya todoroki #boku no hero academia #todoroki toya #fanfiction #dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi headcanons #touya todoroki x reader #story of a villain mha fanfic #edited

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen.

I hope you're well. I was hoping you can possibly give me some general life advice?

I have the possibility to finally move away from home and live with a friend I've known for 8 years (I am 26). My homelife is allright and my dad is accepting of my sexuality but mildly transphobic to the point where I'm not out and don't feel comfortable bringing it up.

I have saved up a sum of money (above 5k) to fund this move but the only problem is I don't currently have a steady job. (I've freelanced for the past 3 but it's not enough to cover rent)

We'd be sharing the apartment and to get it I need to be on the lease. The idea of signing for something without steady income to cover it makes the alarm bells go off in my head. Me and my friend have discussed this and she assured me that she would cover the rent completely until I actually move in/find steady employment (her current apartment costs the same). We've also discussed what would happen if she were no longer able to afford the place and the full responsibility would fall on me, but she doesn't see that happening as she has her family to fall back on for that if she was suddenly unfit to work.

Am I right to still be wary? Should I just go along and sign the lease even though I'm really scared of the possible consequences? Should I just stop overthinking this and just enjoy this really good thing that's about to happen??

please let me know what you think

As a parent of several 25 year olds (3) and as a former 26 year old (long ago) I would say it is time to move out and try life as an independent adult. It sounds like you have a decent relationship with your parent(s) so if things went terribly wrong you would have a place to land.

There is never any guaranty in life that a roommate situation or even a living alone rental situation will go smoothly or as planned. It is almost a sure thing you and her will have to navigate some unforeseen incompatibilities or iron out some quirks to make cohabiting comfortable for both of you. It is part of life to learn how to negotiate needs and boundaries with other people. It starts as we become teens with our parents and then, for me, college roommates and then apartment living with 5 gay guys in the very early 90's.

I think you will find that the move to share rental space and responsibility will be mutually beneficial to both of you. It is best to not be financially reliant on each other, basically, with a short grace period to get moved and your feet under you, you should work to pay your fair share. It is a great idea that in the interim while you seek gainful employment you use the extra time to give a little more effort to the household. Extra cleaning, errands, cooking is a way to show you appreciate the short reprieve from being a full financial partner while you get settled.

Having a roommate can mean learning to negotiate what is fair in payment, cleaning, and other responsibilities but it is also nice to have someone around. Having a sound relationship with a roommate means a built in support. She gives you a ride when the bus won't do and you give her gas money. When she wants to travel for a few days you are keeping the house safe, watering plants and bringing in the mail. When one of you is sick the other can pick up some of the cleaning slack until recovery.

When I rented my first place with those 5 men I had just started a new job, fresh from my undergrad and going to grad school. I paid my fair share and contributed by cleaning the kitchen and shoveling the drive during snowy times. When I lost my first job I only had enough money saved for half the rent. I was not instantly homeless because my roommates picked up my share and in turn I did some extra errands and cleaning for the house. I worked VERY hard to get a new job and did after two weeks. I often wanted to quit that flower shop job but did not because I LIKED the independence and I enjoyed not owing anyone anything.

I believe you will find that moving on your own will give you much more drive to find a job with consistent earnings. It feels good to feel stable and be an equal contributor. Having your name on the lease insures you have some skin in the game. It ensures that you ARE accountable to pay your part AND save for future mishaps. If two people are working together to make living more affordable it is a wonderful partnership.

This world is not build for single income independent living. It has not been as long as I have been alive (54 years) and perhaps never has been. Mutually shared space and financial responsibility is a long standing survival tactic. And learning to communicate and navigate in such situations is a beneficial skill.

#roommates #sharing space #independence

[felikatze]

okay!! safe ending done!! wowzers, what an ending! time to review!

First of, some complaints. Since i was skipping basically everything, the new scenes stuck out all the more, and they didn't really... feel earned. For example, Door 8. Going 4-8 resulted in a scene of Junpei poking fun at Lotus, so she tells him to fuck off, but going 5-8, the two get talking. Lotus mentions her former job, and she starts talking about "what if the human brain doesnt actually contain memories" and wireless data transfer which ties into all the telepathy stuff all over the game.

So why does she open up more to Junpei... on a route where they spent less time together?

edit. um. added a readmore. i did not realize for how long i was talking.

The same thing applies to the changed scene with Santa in Door 6. Taking this route means missing every opportunity to hang out with Santa beforehand (Door 4 & 3), yet this is the route where he just doesn't talk about metaphor, but mentions his sister and her death outright. Again, why is he more emotionally honest on a route where he knows Junpei less?

In a VN like this, ideally, choices inform what routes happen, yeah? Instead of things just "happening differently." Same with Junpei figuring out Ace's face-blindness because Akane decided to collapse for no reason.

Rlly, Akane's random fevers are the most plot devicey thing in this game, and I don't like it.

The only pre-end changed scene that made sense is Clover talking about Snake's disability in the lab, because Junpei was one of the last people to spend time with Snake. She decides against it if Junpei didn't spend time with Snake beforehand, probably realizing Junpei wouldnt know anything in that case.

And the random hint Clover has in her hand when her body is found is, hm. Like, when I went through Door 1, there just... wasn't anything like this, so where the hell did it come from? Maybe this gets explained in the true end, whatever.

I get the logic that the first door has to be 5 bcuz Junpei needs to know where the safe is, but it makes less sense with the Lotus and Santa scenes.

Okay. Moving on to: plot revelations.

So! I was correct! Ace killed everybody in the Knife and Submarine endings! And he targeted Lotus to nab her bracelet, which was all he needed for the 9 door, and everybody else was just collateral. Makes sense.

The motivation here is the new part. As soon as Santa said he's the CEO of Cradle Pharmaceutics - well yeah, that tracks. Explains how Ace knew what the sedative is. He was the one producing it. Explains his connection to the first Nonary game, as per my theory that every person is involved with the first one somehow.

I assumed he figured out Lotus was investigating him, but nah, lol, just wanted the bracelet. Fucker <3

Other plot revelations: though I do not like the method of delivery as per the above, my suspicion was confirmed!! Santa's sister is the kid who died in the first Nonary Game! Like, okay, he says car accident or whatever, but it was nine years ago, I can read. He's probably in the same situation as Lotus, where what really happened got covered up, and this is just the story he's been fed. Poor guy. Really working for the Santa nickname here. Aww man.

Right, next on the discussion block - Snake. I am so deeply satisfied that i was 100% dead on the money. He was alive, and trapped in the coffin.

I mean, you saw me speculating this before, I shall not be Ashe Bradley'd again, but when I replayed Room 5, i was all the more certain. Snake mentions his incredible hearing, meaning he'd never get jumped, and he was confident he could take Junpei in a fight, which he GOES TO PROVE in the ending. Not against Junpei, but, wow. When Clover mentions his prosthetic arm, oh yeah, it's all coming together, and this is how Junpei figures it out, too.

Also shows how Snake and Clover are connected to the game - Snake's been in it, and whatever happened injured him, resulting in his blindness and prosthetic. Also a nifty explanation for why he didn't recognize anybody else he might've met back then.

Speaking of, here is the one point i was wrong. Snake did not kill the Ninth Man, Ace did. It makes sense motive wise, as Ace wanted to eliminate anyone who knew his connection to the first Nonary Game. Still wondering how Ace knew about the verification before Zero or Snake explained it....? Whatever.

Thinking back, his face blindness is foreshadowed!! It's such a blink and you miss it moment. In the hospital room, when searching for Snake, when Junpei tells Ace that Clover and Snake look nothing alike... Ace reacts surprised! He had no idea they look different!

That's such smart foreshadowing, dear god.

Okay, next up - Akane. I already mentioned I don't like her plot device fever, and this end really takes it to the next level.

I could tell they copied over text from the submarine ending, where Akane tells Junpei she won't make it, but loved their time together, because she was, you know, bleeding out in his arms, and the same dialogue when she's got a fever feels way cheaper, you know? People can die of fevers, of course, but not like... this fast. Geez.

The thing that salvages this scene is the mystique of it, Akane vanishing, Zero saying he's right here... Well, that does have one implication, of course - that Akane is Zero.

(thinks about plot spoilers i've seen) (thinks about "is akane evil" discourse i've seen)

(thinks back to my "akane was in the first game" theory)

No fucking way, right? (<- in denial.)

Speaking of Zero. So, Zero reveals the mission statement that he wants to punish all those responsible for the first Nonary Game. Okay. So that's why Ace is here. But then why are other victims of the game here? Why is Snake here? Why is Lotus here? Why punish the family members of those involved?

Unless, of course... "The Nonary Game was always meant to save everyone." Maybe that's what Zero wants. Zero wants Junpei to succeed. For some reason. Hence Zero saying "I lost" as Junpei goes down with the ship. Whatever Zero's goal is, it hinges on Junpei.

Also, back to the Akane thing - on the assumption that Akane is Zero/was in the first game, that would finally give Junpei a Nonary Game connection, cuz he and Akane are the only ones without a confirmed one so far. He's here bcuz of Akane.

And, remember how I pointed out Akane's fixation on her childhood as odd? Well... if somebody were, say, seeking revenge against the company that traumatized them for the past 9 years, then fixating on the idyllic childhood before all that makes sense, no?

OKAYYY TIME TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS THE PLOT OUTSIDE OF WHAT I COMPLAINED ABOUT.

The Ace is Evil reveal was actually so fucking cool. PEAK manipulative Junpei moment, which is, hands down, my favorite character trait of his. If he wants something, he is going to get it, by any means possible. He's a lying and schemeing son of a bitch, and it's fucking fantastic. It was so satisfying how Junpei pulled together all the details I also noticed, all the little bits and bobs from the three extra scenes, to make the perfect trap for Ace.

Just saying "I'm actually Santa" to test Ace's face-blindness, saying he took the bracelet from Ace, confirming Ace has it, and then elaborating on why Snake isn't dead. Brilliant. Brilliant moment.

Ofc then Ace pulls the revolver, cuz fucking dumbasses left it there for anyone to nab. Also great setup, since i did door 6 first, i knew the revolver was there, and the guys just leaving it there in knife end was simply too good to be true.

Chekov's gun, in the most literal sense. If there's a gun, somebody is going to fire it.

Righto. The showdown in the incinerator. Man.

First of all, I was delighted to see Snake back, have my theory validated that he's in the coffin, though this does open the mystery of who out him there. Absolutely DELICIOUS tragedy that this is on the route where Clover is dead, and neither Junpei nor Seven have the heart to tell him.

Snake just going apeshit on Ace was a great moment, really impressive, really heartwrenching. If I gotta die, I'm taking you bitch down with me <3 iconic. Incredible. Truly Snake was Not Fucking Kidding when he said he could take Junpei in a fight. That scene of Seven dragging Junpei out of the incinerator... man.

Also rlly smart to bring up the prosthetic arm thing to let Snake go through the door. Pulls double duty as the last evidence that Snake is alive, AND for this moment. He just. screwed his hand off real quick to take the bracelet off. Truly more stories need disabled characters for spectacular moments like this.

I already talked abt my feelings w the Akane scene at the end here (the same scene in sub ending was better, but this one has more Implications), but I gotta say. It was so funny that Snake, Seven, and Junpei just all went through Door 9 without Akane and Santa. They just fucking left em. Presumably Seven and Lotus left without Junpei, but where did Santa go in this ending? Caught up to Seven and Lotus, leaving with them? Drowned in the ship? Vanished mysteriously? Who knows~

Oh, yeah, Zero probably uses Soporil to drug people, huh? Delightful little bit of irony.

Another thing... I'm incredibly glad that I played the bad ends first? Like, take the Ace twist for example - it's only really satisfying if you've done Knife or Sub end first, since it confirms that he's the killer in those. And it only became EXTRA satisfying when doing one of those in combination with the Axe ending, because this one confirmed to me that he's the killer beforehand!

And him being the CEO, Zero having a grudge against Cradle Pharmaceutics - only really matter when you've gone through Door 2 before, and learned about the 16 missing children, Seven's backstory, and arrived at the conclusion that this was a previous Nonary Game. Santa's sister being dead also only comes as a shock after this, because it confirms what I thought - that she died here, on the Gigantic.

Like, seriously, I would've been so much less satisfied if I'd done this ending first. You SAW how fucking long I speculated about Snake being alive, right? Today I dm'd a friend who is mildly insane abt 999 about my full theory, and then two hours later I got it confirmed. How much more would it suck if I just... got it confirmed in my first playthrough, and then played the bad ends? They'd be nothing! Doing them first, it's a gradual crescendo of information, pieces slotting together ever so slowly, theories evolving into a coherent whole, before the Safe ending puts them all to rest, and opens up new questions, new theories.

Like, sure. There's still value in doing like, Door 3 Route, but Sub ending is Less Woah when you've seen the lesser version of Akane's last words, AND already know for sure that Ace is the killer.

TLDR: I'm very happy i went in the order I did, and fully committed to doing all bad ends first.

AND THAT'S MY LONG FUCKIN REVIEW OF SAFE ENDING!!! i thought it was called "Safe" ending because. Everybody gets out safe, but doesnt resolve the plot, or something, you know average "normal ending" stuff for VNs. But nah it just. Involves a literal safe. Okay

NEXT STOP, LAST DESTINATION! PLAYTHROUGH 5, TRUE ENDING!

#feli speaks #feli plays 999

[roppongi-division]

Zakari's Thoughts on Third Members

Saburo Yamada

"Saburo's another good friend of mine, though I'm not as close to him as I am to his older brothers. Still, it's kind of a shock that he's only in middle school considering how smart he is. It also doesn't help that he's the youngest person in the D.R.B., or that his birthday comes late in the year, like mine. But he's still a cool guy, despite his personality. I'm actually teaching him how to play games of chance. He's pretty good! Unlike Jiro, he's got a killer poker face!"

Rio Mason Busujima

"I met Rio while exploring Yokohama once. Normally, I try to keep within the city. Venturing on the outskirts is a bit boring since there aren't a lot of high places to jump from. But curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to head towards the woodlands. I certainly wasn't expecting to find someone living, least of all a former army official. He was pretty nice, though. We played a few card games, and he was surprisingly good. I don't know if he played before, or if he was good at keeping a straight face, but he actually beat me a few times. To thank me, he gave me some of his homemade food. I know it looked gross, but it actually tasted pretty good!"

Dice Arisugawa

"Ugh, I wish my parents would get off my back about Dice and me being friends. He and I are one and the same, so it's no surprise we're cool with each other. Apparently, they're afraid that he's going to drag me down with him. But how do they know it's not the opposite? How do they know I'm not the one dragging him down? But this is just one of those topics where the three of us agree to disagree. My dad says I can do what I want, but he's not responsible for what I do as a result. Gee, thanks pop."

"Besides that, it's because of Dice that I was able to meet Lucille. I know she was frustrated that I beat her, but now... well, we'll pretty happy with each other, even if I do know that she's probably biding her time to try to trap me in something. But hey, I'm looking forward to it!"

Doppo Kannonzaka

"This guy... he both infuriates and worries me. Why? Well, for one thing, I've seen what this guy can do when he's pissed off. He's got a surprisingly hot temper. So what I want to know is, why the hell doesn't he use that temper to knock the people who are bothering him at his job, huh?! I mean, if someone was bothering me as much as those folks at his job do, I would have gone off a long, long time ago! But no, he chooses to just go through with it! It's no wonder his boss and co-workers walk all over him! And then he has the gall to get upset at Dice for trying to earn money an easy way! Why don't you try changing you work environment before you judge someone, you cowardly piece of crap!"

"...Anyway, that's why this guy infuriates me. But the reason he worries me... it's because I'm afraid that I may have to become like him someday: a regular officer worker making minimum wage, doing the same crap every day. Sorry, but that's not for me. If the choice is between living like Doppo or living like Dice, I'll take Dice's way of living any day of the week."

Rei Amayado

"...I'll just say it plainly: I don't like this guy. I don't know what reason he has for abandoning his own sons, and I don't care. There is no excuse in the world for it. And then, after revealing yourself to your sons, instead of apologizing to them, you choose to just go back to doing what you've been doing, being a lapdog for the government, while conning people out of their funds. I know I bitched at Doppo, but at least that guy is working to earn his money, no matter how bad his work environment is. You should take a page out of his book, pal."

Hitoya Amaguni

"I don't know Hitoya all that well. When I go to Nagoya, it's mainly to hang out with Kuko and Jyushi. Hitoya sometimes joins in, but it's more out to keep an eye on us than actually trying to participate. He reminds more of a grumpy uncle than anything. ...I wonder what would happen if Kuko and I started calling him that. Oh, the look on his face! We've got to try that out sometime!"

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #zakari hiroya #private party #roppongi division #saburo yamada #rio mason busujima #dice arisugawa #doppo kannonzaka #rei amayado #hitoya amaguni

[cleoselene]

my mother - who is 74 - walks a neighbor's dog twice a day to make some money. No it's not a difficult job, but still. She is 74 and had planned all her life to be very much retired right now , but she ended up with one very sick kid (me) and one shithead kid (my brother) who strained her finances -- me by her needing to help me with housing (she took out a mortgage on her place to help me get my condo. My roommates and I pay rent to her and never miss a payment but with HOA fees and insurance constantly going up in Hurricaneland, and both me and roommates on fixed Social Security incomes, the ends don't exactly meet) and my brother by being a fucking asshole loser who refused to have a fucking job.

The man has three kids, two who are still minors, and he REFUSES to work. This is one of many reasons he is divorced (of course, his ex-wife cheated on him literally hundreds of times, so there's that mess too, but that's another story), because my ex-SIL got sick of him never having a fucking job. Once the divorce was final and he didn't have his wife supporting him, he turned to the only other woman he could rely on to pay his way: his mother. My mom didn't want to pay his rent every fucking month for three years, but she loves her grandchildren, and she wanted them to have a father.

Because her children didn't have a father. My dad dipped out when I was ten because he was a drug addict. My mom lives with that guilt all the time, always apologizing to me for not giving me a better father -- as if that's her fucking fault! She was a rock star of a mom! A single parent, a social worker who didn't have much money but her work genuinely made the world a better place. But she feels awful that her kids' father ditched out on us. And my brother knows she feels awful about it. And he exploited that. For literally years. She went from comfortably retired to now having a lot of credit card debt because she paid his rent for 3 years.

When she finally put her foot down as his lease ended and she was no longer a cosigner, he moved in with his girlfriend in Manhattan. She is 23. He is 48. Yeah, it's disgusting. He is leeching off her now. He is also not talking to my mom since she's not paying his way anymore (I mean, she IS paying for his fucking iPhone, though, more on that in a moment).

So. Christmas. She hasn't heard a word from him. She hears some news from my ex-SIL that the kids are going to fly up to NYC to spend a few days with him, which, as much of an asshole as he is, she is glad for, because she wants her grandchildren to have a father. But he hasn't called to wish her a Merry Christmas

So I mentioned her part-time job. For the former congressman whose dog she walks. Lovely, sweet people. They gave her a couple of gifts and a $50 Christmas bonus. Mom sent that $50 to my brother as a gift. He did not acknowledge it or even say thank you.

I am OUTRAGED on her behalf, honestly. She has done nothing to deserve being treated this way by him. And I am depressed that I am stuck being a sick kid who is also a drain. I was supposed to get a PhD and take care of her! Failing being able to make it rain for mom I just wrote her a sappy long facebook message telling her how she's the best ever, but god. Why is my brother such an asshole?

She told me yesterday that when I visit next she wants to go through her will and redo it. She wants to give him a token amount, a few grand, and reassign the rest of what she would have given him in her estate to his kids. It's unfortunate, but it is what it is. She deserves better. :/

#tbd later maybe idk probably? #fucking brother is such an asshole #i do not acknowledge him honestly #i am an ONLY CHILD #an only child with a niece and two nephews don't ask me how it works lol #because his kids are actually really sweet

[asharkapologist]

Elisa Melody Diary Entry #1: I Hate That Family

A/N: So I really love Elisa Melody, and I randomly got the idea to write a journal entry from her POV where she complains about the Rochesters/ranks them from her favorite to least favorite, because I thought that would be fun. I hope you enjoy!

Also thank you @chelleinyy for helping me with this 🙏

Unless I wish to “disappear” or “suffer a sudden episode of madness,” I must not let this diary be seen by anyone but myself.

It cannot be said that I am not appreciative of my employment as a party planner. My clients can be, more often than not, rude, self-centered, scoundrels, or any mixture, but party planning pays exceptionally well, as the wealthy of Concordia have remarkable amounts of money to throw around. Additionally, I consider myself a creative person. Painting would hardly provide a sustainable career, however, so by billing myself as a party planner, I am able to allow myself to succeed in a job allowing for creativity.

That being said, I believe that I am QUITE entitled to complain about certain clients. I have been holding my tongue in matters concerning my true opinions on the following people, even though I rarely show as much caution with others who hire me. Of course, I do not go around openly slandering the wealthy as that would be career suicide, but the vast majority of my clients do not have my life in their hands like the Rochesters.

The wealthiest family in Concordia.

They practically control this city in every way that matters: economically, politically, and everything in between. And it is an open secret that anyone who challenges or condemns their power either disappears, mysteriously dies or commits suicide, or is admitted into Grim Chapel’s insane asylum. I do not care what they do with their rivals. One should be intelligent enough to avoid challenging the people who very obviously control this city.

But they are some very challenging clients. Even if they pay handsomely. And as I rarely desire to openly rant or vocalize my opinions on them to anyone, especially as I have few friends or people I can trust to not reveal my opinions to others, I figured that it is only safe to confine my thoughts to this diary. And as silly as it may be, I wish to rank the Rochesters from least to most aggravating to deal with. Because I have been concealing these feelings regarding that family for years. And perhaps this will be therapeutic…

I have worked with all nine official living members of the Rochester family. (I say official because surely Horatio and perhaps Larry and Malcolm have multitudes of illegitimate children. And there are rumors about the fate that befall Horatio Rochester’s former wife. Some say she is dead. Some say she retreated to the seaside on the other side of the country. I am not especially concerned--she is not relevant to me, as she has never contacted me to ask me to organize a party.) The members of the family are:

Leopold

Rockley

Larry

Horatio

*Clarissa

Malcolm

Bernadine

Veronica

Archie

The most pleasant Rochester to deal with, and therefore the lowest on this list at number 9 is Clarissa Rochester. I have put an asterisk next to her name, as of some weeks prior to me writing this, she was poisoned at a luncheon. A shame, for she was the most tolerable member of the family. She has benefitted from mysterious fates befalling the Rochesters’ economic rivals and critics, but this is not about her morality. With me she is pleasant and courteous, although I have seen her lose her temper at incompetent servants (one of whom murdered her), but I am not incompetent, and therefore, she has no reason to shout at and humiliate me. She gives me a list of things she wants at her party and rarely gets in my way. I appreciate not being micromanaged. (This will be relevant later.)

Malcolm is next. Of course, I am aware that his political rivals have a mysterious habit of suffering sudden fates that conveniently eliminate them from any election where they would be challenging Malcolm. I am no idiot. But again, this is not a ranking of their morality, simply how pleasant they are to deal with. And when interacting with me, Senator Rochester is perfectly affable and courteous. I have seen him lose his temper at assistants or servants before, but unlike them, I am perfectly capable at my job and therefore have never been yelled at. He compliments my work, even though he rarely deals with me directly, as he leaves most of the party or banquet planning to me, his assistants, or his wife. However, when I do interact with him, he is professional and friendly, and does not get in my way. Which is truly what I appreciate from those who hire me.

Senator Rochester’s sister, Bernadine, is next. Unlike her brother, she is a rather openly haughty woman, making her more of a headache to interact with. While she may not have any moral failings or benefit from anyone’s misfortunes when someone makes a mistake of crossing a member of the family (which is to surely be my fate if this is discovered), she has not taken after her brother in terms of manners presented to the public. However, like her brother, she does not get in my way when I work for her. She gives me the essential information I need for my job and leaves me to work. She does not think she can do my job better than me.

Leopold Rochester is next. I know that the people of Concordia love him. I know that many would decry him being as high as he is. But he is an annoying nitwit. For the man is too helpful. Whenever he hires me, he is constantly checking in with me, constantly asking me if there is anything I need assistance with. He thinks he is being sweet and helpful. He is not. It is a massive annoyance to be interrupted by this rich man who has likely never done the hard work of organizing anything in his life, attempt to help me, ask me to tell him what to do to be helpful, and compliment me. Yes, I know that I am skilled at my work. But when I am working, I do not wish to be bothered. I often end up snapping at him that the most helpful thing he can do is get out of my hair. He will then often apologize and I brush it off, doing anything I can to get him out of my presence. I fear that someone will start a rumor that I am cruel to the “Father of Concordian Innovation” rather than his retribution, because he is nothing but kind to everyone he hires. He may be unintentionally annoying, but he still gets in my way when I am working. He can say this, though: he pays better than anyone else in the family.

Now on this list is where I begin to actively dislike members of this family. Next is Rockley, one of the most oblivious people I have ever met. I have worked with him the least out of the members of the Rochesters (he only hired me once, if you can call it that). And he is…an unique man to work with. He would probably be higher up on this list if I had the displeasure of working with him more than once, for the one time he hired me was…utterly pointless. He proposed bizarre ideas to me, such as having strings of candy on an outdoor plaza of his chocolate factory (that would attract birds who would defecate on everyone), suggesting part of the party be a compulsory tour of his remarkably unsafe chocolate factory, sprinkling some of his then-newest types of candy randomly throughout the refreshments--candy that he somehow created that would cause anything a guest ate for the next thirty minutes to taste remarkably bitter. I told him that his ideas were not good, or at least needed to be heavily altered, but did he listen to me? Not at all. He went ahead with all of his ideas, and ignored mine. I was paid, but as I predicted, his party was a mess, and several people left angry. He did not seem to mind. I do not know why anyone would hire me, knowing of my skills, and then ignore me. At least Horatio does not ignore my ideas. Rockley is an idiot entirely lost in his own world, and I am glad to not have my talents wasted on him any longer. If he continues his current business practices, he may find himself being sued for causing someone’s death, as his factory is, in my opinion, quite a death trap.

Horatio Rochester is next. The patriarch of the family, and one of my best-paying clients. And also the toughest, for nothing I do seems to be enough for him. I know I am good at what I do, otherwise I would never have employment. Horatio knows this, as he continuously pays me to organize his multiple parties. However, I can never escape snide comments and attempts to micromanage from him. He criticizes everything I do, always finding fault with whatever he can. (Does he have nothing better to do at his functions? Does no one want to speak with him? If so, I cannot blame him, for his breath smells terrible, likely from his many cigars he smokes). I do not dare talk back to him, one of the most powerful men in Concordia and someone who I have seen shout out and strike servants, and so I grit my teeth, apologize, and try to fix whatever flaw he has found. He would be unbearable if not for how well he pays. When he hires me, I know I will have an unpleasant time as he thinks he can do my job better than I can with as much fault as he finds, apparently…but I also know I will end up with a large amount of money.

Veronica Rochester does not like me. She has never actually hired me, rather, she has occasionally been foisted onto me by Malcolm when he has given us an assignment of organizing a banquet or something similar. After Rockley, I have interacted with her the least. Like Horatio, she has a habit of criticizing my work, but unlike Horatio, I am often working right alongside her, meaning both of us grow more and more annoyed as we work, but we are forced to communicate through our gritted teeth. I have never seen her smile, and I rarely smile around her, for she thinks she can do my job better than me and argues with me over the pettiest of things. She also has had the audacity to accuse me of being a social climber, simply because I have worked for everyone in her family and many other wealthy people in Concordia. How dare she? I am good at my job. One of the best party planners in Concordia. I have my own business cards. I never have to worry about money. I have been insulted by multiple clients, but they always seem quite ready to hire me, including her family. Of course I am spending much of my time with the wealthy in Concordia, because they can recognize good talent when they see it, unlike her. She is polite enough in public, but with those she considers beneath her, which evidently includes me, she is a miserable person to deal with, and even if he treats me well, my opinion of Malcolm is soured because he makes me work with his miserable wife.

I have been tempted to punch Larry Rochester multiple times. The man is an utter pain to deal with. His party ideas are almost as ridiculous as his brother Rockley’s, and he seems to actively enjoy making the jobs of me and everyone else difficult, especially when he becomes intoxicated and loud (which is often). When he is drunk, he tends to find it amusing to trash decorations, he once started a food fight, and he enjoys humiliating party planners and servants, regardless of how well jobs were done. I distinctly remember a time when I was helping separate two guests from a verbal altercation when he suddenly loudly insulted me in front of everyone at the event, causing many people to erupt into laughter. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, and I had to suppress the urge to punch the smile off of his face. However, I managed to keep my anger in check for two reasons: one, there was an entire crowd watching and such an act of violence would spoil future clients’ opinions of me, and two, considering Larry was recently arrested for strangling a woman and cutting her heart out, I believe I was correct in assuming that he was not someone to be trifled with, who absolutely felt entitled to sink to violent lows and ruin my reputation, if not attack me. It is a blessing he is in prison, and while that is some money gone, he also paid the worst out of everyone in the family.

I HAVE punched Archie Rochester. I must confess, HE is the reason why I began this list, because of something that happened at a recent party, coincidentally the final party Larry attended before being arrested. But Archie has vexed me before this incident. He almost entirely ruined my reputation several months ago when it was discovered that he was Mr Alastor, a mysterious, anonymous gentleman that, for several years, had thrown parties, some of which he had hired me to plan. He could be rude over letters or telegram, but nothing I was unused to. However, this year, Archie as Alastor decided to do something different, as he threw these parties while inviting guests with grudges to said parties, correctly predicting that some of them would kill each other. He did this all in a bizarre attempt to woo Giulietta Capecchi, the daughter of the now-deceased leader of the Italian mob in Concordia. This would have been insignificant to me had he not hired me to plan a party where a murder then occurred. My party! A murder happening! I am fortunate that the victim was not well-liked, otherwise my reputation may have been ruined if a popular woman was murdered under my watch. I almost got in trouble with law enforcement as well, because they were attempting to deduce Alastor’s identity, and since I was in correspondence with him (without knowing who he was), they treated me with suspicion. As if I had more idea than anyone else who he was! As if that was not bad enough, I was also a suspect in the murder that occurred! As if I would poison someone at my own luncheon and ruin my own life and reputation! I quickly gave the police every letter I had received from Alastor as well as all the money he had paid me, and luckily, that satisfied the police. But my reputation could have taken a substantial hit if things had gone differently!

This alone would have been enough to place Archie at number one, but mere days ago, I had another negative interaction with him. He was at a party I had planned, and through ridiculous scenarios involving wine being splashed in my face, him happening to get splashed as well because he was standing near me, us arguing on the way to the washroom to clean ourselves, us returning to the ballroom together, and Archie’s father, Malcolm, giving us an order to do so, we ended up dancing together. Me. Waltzing with the person who almost ruined my reputation and got me in trouble with the law. We argued throughout the entire thing and quite soon we were not waltzing but more of…throwing each other about, spinning, and doing non-decidedly waltz until the song ended and my arms were around him as he dipped me and I was mere feet of the ground, and mere centimeters from him.

It was mortifying. I immediately stood up, and he was embarrassed too, and we exchanged more insults before we both stormed off. After the party ended and I was helping to clean up, I found him, surrounded by empty glasses of sangria in the garden, which started yet another argument, with him calling my party awful. As if it was my fault the now-late thanks to Larry Rochester Deputy Mayor threw wine at me and Archie. He insulted my work, and I was furious at him for being forced to dance with me and embarrassing me in front of everyone by loudly arguing with me and ending with him dipping me that I rather threw caution to the wind and opted to throw a leftover slice of cake at him.

However, because Archie has a headache-inducing habit of always getting me in trouble with the law, he dodged the cake and it hit a nearby police officer (investigating the deputy mayor’s death). The man shouted at me for “assaulting an officer of the peace with cake” as I profusely apologized and explained I was aiming for Archie, who of course, took the opportunity to insult the cake and the party once more. He even called me incompetent, and that was the last straw.

So I punched him in the face. My father once decided to teach me how to throw a good punch and I am glad for that lesson now, because even if it was perhaps foolish to assault a member of the Rochester family, especially one who organized parties with the intent of certain people dying, it felt excellent, some well-deserved payback. Everyone--Archie and the two police officers and even to a certain degree myself--was shocked, and Archie and I were about to start arguing again, and I was about to hit him once more, when the police officers got between us and ordered us to calm down, which led to Archie declaring he was going to seek medical attention (please, I bruised his face, not knocked out his teeth, he’ll be fine) and stomping off.

It was only later that I realized that I could very much get into legal trouble for punching Archie. It would be a cruel act of fate that I did, what with me almost getting in trouble with the law earlier this year thanks to him, to be actually getting in trouble. But about an hour later, I happened to overhear a conversation between him and his mother where she asked him what had happened to his face. I was nearby, folding up a banner I had just taken down, and Archie glanced in my direction for a fraction of a second before muttering that he was fine, that he had gotten too intoxicated and sustained a fall. Once his mother had turned her attention elsewhere he made a rude hand gesture to me and walked elsewhere.

I have convinced myself that I will not get into legal trouble. Knowing him, he is probably too embarrassed to admit to anyone that he was caught off guard and punched by a woman. But still, even if he never presses charges against me, he has secured his spot as the most annoying Rochester to work with, considering he almost got me in legal trouble twice, and that dance. I hated that dance. I don't know what I was thinking, egging him on and becoming so invested in that dance. Curse his father for ordering us to dance together rather than letting Archie stand alone during a waltz and letting me continue my job.

There is one final thing, though. This morning, in my mail, I discovered something bizarre. It was an anonymous note (although I very much recognize the handwriting), with a very strange letter.

I do not take back anything I said during that party. That cake was still awful, and I have some suggestions for how you could improve your party in general.

But I have yet to meet anyone who can keep up with me in arguments and other such back-and-forths. Considering how intelligent I am ( I obtained a law degree in less than a year in Switzerland and graduated top of my class) it is rare to meet anyone who is able to do so. I must begrudgingly admit I am impressed.

Well played.

#criminal case game #criminal case mysteries of the past #mysteries of the past #elisa melody #archie rochester #rochesters

[nightshadehoney]

The “Tom is a gold digger/status chaser and never really loved Shiv” take drives me up the wall. 

Firstly because it’s often trotted out as an excuse for Shiv’s poor treatment of him. Like even if that was 100% true (I don’t think it is), it still wouldn’t justify treating him the way she treats him. Willa wouldn’t be with Con if he didn’t bankroll her lifestyle; their relationship started because she was an actual prostitute who he paid to be around him. Yet I somehow doubt that most of the people who say this about Tom would also say that Willa deserved it if we saw Con cheating on her and belittling her in public and pressuring her into sex acts she didn’t want. 

But more the point, you kind of have to be watching the show with your eyes closed if you think Tom doesn’t love Shiv. You think someone only after money would’ve initially refused to read the the pre-nup before signing it? That someone who only cared about getting ahead would be constantly reeled back in after personal and professional mistreatment with “I love you”s and “I need you”s? If Tom was in this relationship purely for career reasons, he probably would’ve agreed with Shiv on their wedding night when she said the business part of the relationship made sense and wouldn’t have cared about having an open relationship. He was absolutely gutted that she cheated on him and called the idea of being married to him a “box set death march” because he loved her.

Tom is very much enamored with the power and prestige of the Roy family; he loves being rich. But those aren’t separate things from loving Shiv, I think it’s really part of it for him. People being into a someone because that person has what they desire but feel thet lack is pretty common. Shiv isn’t just rich: she’s a Roy and he’s attracted to the kind of power and confidence she has because she is a Roy. He’s so high off the idea that someone like that would want to be with him, that he let’s her walk all over him. A level-headed person would’ve gone running in the other direction after their fiance handed them a pre-nup with no infidelity clause and then implied that they will probably cheat on them and likely already have, but not Tom because Tom is a romantic deep down. He doesn’t want to look at that pre-nup because that would mean he has to acknowledge that there is any transactional part of their relationship. Tom essentially wants to have his cake and eat it too: he wants to to have a normal marriage where him and his wife love each other and have babies together and he wants to have a successful prestigious career. But openly talking about the latter interferes with his ability to believe he has truly has the former. 

One of the central ideas in Succession as a whole is that when you have as much money as the Roys, there’s no such thing as a relationship that isn’t colored by their wealth. Even Rava, who really seems to have loved Ken in spite of his of him family rather than because of it, apparently did quite well for herself in the divorce.  That scene is Austerlitz where Marcia asks Willa about her plans and tries to give her advice is all about this really highlights this. If you marry into this family you need to look after your position. It’s not a  coincidence that Tom is also part of this discussion. Marcia acts like this is just a normal conversation about whether or not Willa wants children someday, but the subtext of this conversation, (that both Marcia and Tom understand, but maybe Willa doesn’t or is at least uncomfortable with) is “hey if you’re smart, you’ll cement your place in this rich man’s life by having his child as soon as possible, otherwise you are disposable”     

This comes back in season three when Tom and Shiv talk about freezing embryos. That it’s embryos and not eggs is a concession to Tom; it’s Shiv saying “see you have some insurance because I am tying up my reproductive future with yours”. But Shiv is doing such a poor job in disguising how much this is a business discussion that Tom is uncomfortable; normal people talking about having children do not immediately start talking about the scenarios in which they would destroy their frozen embryos. So Tom just sort of flounders is like “I would want you to have my babies if I died” so he can pretend that is at all what they are talking about. It doesn’t make sense for him to act this way if he only cares about his position, very little of his behavior makes sense in this context. The only way it makes any sense is if, again, you are watching the show with your eyes closed and somehow believe that Tom is doing all this to somehow trick Shiv into thinking he’s nice. Shiv doesn’t like nice; she is uncomfortable with emotion and open affection--that Tom acts this way annoys her and makes her respect him less.  

Shiv was never going to marry anyone who didn’t care at all about her money and name because it’s nearly impossible for anyone to exist in the family and not care. The only way any of the Roys could ever really have something like that is if they were with someone who was an equally successful billionaire from an equally prestigious family and Shiv would never marry somebody like that.  Logan’s assessment of Shiv that she was marrying Tom because he was beneath her and she didn’t want to risk being betrayed, while cruel, is accurate. He’s a trophy husband--he’s “plausible” as Caroline puts it--plausibly successful that they would be together but unambiguously beneath her because he doesn’t come from the same kind of money she does and relies on her for his career advancement.  People act as if poor Shiv was duped into marrying someone who only cared about her money like...she’s not blind. She’s not unaware of Tom’s naked ambition and social climbing--she knows who he is and uses it to her advantage.  She sought out a relationship that is transactional in this way because that puts her in control. She would never feel safe marrying someone who wasn’t in a subordinate position to her; it would make her too vulnerable. Frankly, anybody who wasn’t enamored by her lifestyle wouldn’t put up with her shit. She married Tom because he’s safe--he won’t really push back on her treatment of him both because he’s a a huge simp and because he would jeopardize his career by leaving. She conducts her relationships the way her father does, using wealth and status in the company as a form control in her personal relationships.      

#like I saw someone say that Tom threw a fit when Shiv went after the CEO job herself #which is super weird way to say he calmly told her she could say upfront she wanted it and that he would support her #what show did you watch? #hbo succession #succession #succession posting #tom wambsgans

[ota-division]

Taria's Thoughts on Kumamoto Division

Aoba Yamamura

"Aoba, the librarian by day and 'Bluefire' by night? Gotta say, I'm impressed. It's not every day you find someone who can handle books and bombs with the same finesse. We've never officially met, but I've heard whispers about his nighttime escapades. And if he's really out there giving the upper crust a run for their money, then he's alright in my book. We might both wear masks, but it seems we're dancing to the same tune—just on different rooftops. Stick it to 'em, 'Bluefire.'"

Kunio "Kurome" Chōten

"Kunio Chōten, the 'Smiling Nobleman' turned actor and magician, huh? I'll admit, the first thing that caught my eye concerning this guy was his last name, which reminded me of that pretentious prick from that neighborhood of other rich pricks. To be honest, I hadn't heard of that family having another kid, but I guess they probably made his name 'disappear' from the family records or something. Wouldn't be the first time I've seen that happen.

You'd think I'd have nothing but sneers for a guy who used to rub elbows with the kind of people I can’t stand. But here's the twist—I've got a bit of respect for him. The guy got kicked out and turned his back on all that noble nonsense. That takes guts. And anyone who can put on a show that dazzles and distracts, well, that's an art in itself.

Sure, he's got that noble blood, and part of me wants to shake him down just for the thrill of it. But I haven't. Why? Because he's not flaunting it or looking down on the rest of us. He's out there, making a name for himself without riding on his family's coattails. That's something I can get behind. So, for now, he's safe from my mischief. But if he ever starts acting high and mighty, well… let's just say I've got a few tricks of my own up my sleeve that'll remind him where he stands."

Natsume Kurome

"Natsume Kurome, the artist and fortune teller with a side of poison, eh? His work's got flair—I'll give him that. Paintings that can make you stop and stare, and poisons that'll send a shiver down your spine. It's not every day you meet someone who can mix beauty and danger quite like that. Marrying a former nobleman? Now that’s a plot twist I didn't see coming. But hey, love's love, and if they're happy, who am I to judge?

As for his tarot cards and fortune-telling... Can't say I'm thrilled about it—it's a sore spot, considering what happened with Chinami. But Natsume's not Chinami, and he's not spouting off about destiny or whatever. He's got his art, his shop, and he seems to keep it all separate from the family drama. So, I'll let it slide. Doesn’t mean I'm buying into it, but if it works for him and he's not using it to mess with people's heads, then who am I to judge? We've all got our ways of coping, and if his is flipping cards and painting pictures, then so be it.

As for his mom… yeah, that's rough. Nobody should go through that kind of nightmare. I've got a soft spot for family drama—it hits way too close to home. So, I guess you could say I feel for the guy. And no, I haven't tried to lift anything from his shop. 'The Pandora Box' is off-limits. I respect the craft too much. And besides, I’m not looking to make enemies with someone who knows his way around a poison bottle."

Strange Magic

"Strange Magic, huh? They're like a band straight out of some underground fairy tale—each with their own quirks and shadows. Aoba's got his fire, Kunio's got his charm, and Natsume's got his art. They're a mixed bag, but together, they've got something special. It's not every day you see a team that’s part showbiz, part mystery, and part rebellion.

Do I like them? Well, they're stirring the pot, and I can respect that. They're not just sitting around complaining about the world—they're out there making waves. Kunio being a former noble? I've got my eye on him, but he seems to have ditched the silver spoon act, so we're cool, for now.

As for Kira's suspicions, let her do her job. I've got my own way of handling things, and if Strange Magic steps out of line, they'll answer to me in their own way. But for now, they're just another crew trying to make a mark. And who knows, maybe we'll cross paths when the spotlight hits just right."

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #taria chinen #birds of prey #ota division #kumamoto division #strange magic #aoba yamamura #kunio chōten #natsume kurome

[mrepstein]

The Sunday Mail (Glasgow) - December 20, 1964

WHEN A BEATLE KIDDED THE ‘NEMPEROR’

RAY JONES, former member of The Dakotas, continues ‘My Wild Life With The Pop Groups’

On his way up, somebody christened Brian Epstein the ‘Nemperor,’ after his music firm, NEMS Enterprises. It stuck.

And with his kingly success came kingly trappings - a chauffeured Rolls, a Maserati, a big Belgravia apartment, a listing as one of the ‘Ten Best Dressed Men,’ etc.

Nobody on the inside now calls Epstein’s business NEMS. It’s ‘The Organisation’ - a thing bigger than all of us.

Brian sits at the centre of it all - rich and powerful.

And though his success becomes greater he is still much the same young man whom we first knew in Liverpool, and labelled ‘Mister Elegance.’

Brian hates reprimanding people - and as far as his top earners, the Beatles, go I think he gave up trying long ago!

Organisation

Even when, last July 20, he had me in his office near the London Palladium and told me I had to go I could see he was actually embarrassed by the whole bit.

I almost felt sorry for him - though, as a young married man being sacked from a £120 a week job, I suppose I should have felt sorry for myself.

The Beatles were the only people in the organisation who dared call him ‘Eppie,’ probably because he didn’t like it.

He was Brian or Mr. Epstein to everybody else.

I KNOW THEY WERE FOND OF HIM, AND RESPECTED HIM, BUT THEY OFTEN PULLED HIS LEG.

John Lennon, whom I think of as the most original personality in the Beatles, would say to him: ‘You’re only our agent’ - in that deadpan way of his.

He could always depend on this riling Brian. ‘I am not your agent,’ he would say emphatically, ‘I am your personal representative’ - which he really was.

‘Oh, ah!’ John would say.

John is a real character - with no flies on him. I always had the feeling that he was a good friend to have, but not a man to cross.

He can be scathing to people, but when he takes the mickey its usually good-humoured.

And shrewd! This year, trying to get rid of his old car, John got Brian to contact their New York agent, to see if they’d get more money for the car there - as a car ridden by a Beatle!

JOHN’S ALWAYS COMING UP WITH THE GIMMICKS.

Conscious

Having a drink with him one day I noticed his cuff-link had the name ‘Ron’ on it in big letters.

‘Who’s Ron?’ I asked.

‘Cousin of Jim,’ said John smartly - and flashed the other cuff-link, which did indeed bear the name ‘Jim.’

It was John who came up with the original idea for the Beatles’ Jacket, which swept the country. He had seen something similar in Paris some time before, and liked the idea.

But Epstein and Paul McCartney are the really clothes-conscious members of the outfit.

I always found Paul a nice guy - and the girls’ favourite, of course!

AND OF THE FOUR, THE ONE MOST CONSCIOUS OF THE GROUP’S POPULARITY AND THE NEED TO PROTECT IT.

I was in their dressing-room one day when an argument flared up between John and Paul.

Contrast

They are the driving force of the group and it’s not unnatural - as I well know! for tensions to build up in a group, even the Beatles.

John was picking up steam when he suddenly stopped, and I noticed that Paul was jabbing a finger in my direction and looking at John significantly.

The row ended right there.

Even though I was a fellow NEMS artist, they were taking no chances - following to the letter a Brian Epstein instruction that his groups should never be seen arguing publicly.

I don’t think George Harrison and Ringo Starr ever get much involved in the temperamental clashes of John and Paul.

By show business standards George is a reserved sort of fellow - though in ordinary life I guess he’d be rated a wild-oh!

Somebody once accused George of being ‘anonymous,’ and he retorted: ‘So long as I’m giving my best and getting an equal share of the take I couldn’t care less.’

That’s his attitude, and there’s a lot to be said for it.

Ringo, by contrast, is too busy enjoying the life he lives to have time for rows!

Where his energy comes from, nobody knows - but he loves dancing and being out till all hours. I think he enjoys being a Beatle more than the other three put together!

I suppose when I first heard the Beatles I was about as wrong in my judgement of them as Brian Epstein was right.

Imitation

The Dakotas, at that time, had a polished sound along the same lines as the Shadows, whom we greatly admired.

We thought ourselves the most professional group around in the North country and scoffed when people told us: ‘Wait till you hear the Beatles…’

The Beatles were in Hamburg when we heard that, but the week they came home we had the chance of working with them in the Cavern in Liverpool.

Capacity of that famous cellar was around five hundred, but we quickly found there must have been twice that number when the Beatles were appearing.

THEY MADE THAT STAGE IMMORTAL, IN FACT, IT WAS SOON TO BE CHOPPED UP AND SOLD AT FIVE-BOB-A-CHUNK AS SOUVENIRS!

I don’t know what I expected from them - just another imitation of Cliff Richard and the Shadows, I suppose, because they were all the rage at the time.

When I heard them, I thought there were out of this world - maybe too much out of this world.

No group, not even the Shadows made the same initial impression on me.

I remember thinking: ‘Here’s something completely new and fresh, it’ll be great if they can get it off the ground.’

But I didn’t think their sound was really commercial! I thought they were more of a musicians’ group FOR musicians.

Mind you, they had a rougher, original style then - like all the original Liverpool groups.

They played as they wanted, and sang a much wider range of material - including numbers which Manfred Mann and Freddie and the Dreamers later made big hits.

Resistance

Soon after, the Beatles played Manchester’s ‘Oasis’ beat club, and my judgment seemed to be right.

THEY WERE LAUGHED AT. ACCORDING TO A FRIEND OF MINE WHO RAN THE PLACE, THE EVENING WAS A NEAR-DISASTER.

People forget that the Beatles had to overcome a lot of sales-resistance before they were a success.

Their first big national disc hit, ‘Love Me Do,’ only really made it because of the fantastic support given by their Liverpool fans.

In a few months, they were to come back to that same ‘Oasis,’ and take the place by storm.

#Brian Epstein #The Beatles #Ray Jones #1964 #60s #newspaper #Sunday Mail

[marlasomething]

Thought Runner 2049 (Bugborg Week - June 14)

Summary: Former gun for hire, re-invented into white-collar criminal Nebula is being interviewed after being offered a job by Yondu's Criminal Family by Mantis...maybe they get along better than expected.

Relationships: Nebula/Mantis

A/N: Written for day 3 of @bugborgweek2023

Prompt: Love languages

Word count: 1626

CW: parental abuse, memories of body modification and abuse, childhood trauma

Also on AO3!

Nebula didn’t like human contact. Usually, it was something that she could easily avoid. After all, his father had been one of the most influential politicians in the History of the United States and, even these days, after having been proved how many terrible things he had done, plenty of people defended him and his shadow grew as larger as it had always done.

This fear didn’t only come from the fact that everybody knew that he seemed to believe he was the only one within the right to harm his step-children, though. It also came from the fact that, even though she had stopped being his hitman many years ago already, but people still knew about her handy-work from that time.

Since then, she had become one of the most successful criminals in the white-globe criminal underground. She had sworn not to kill unless strictly necessary. Not because she cared much about other people’s lives, but because she simply wanted to show Thanos he hadn’t irremediable turned her into a monster.

Of course, that didn’t mean that she didn’t occasionally end some people’s existence if it was absolutely necessary. Alas, her reputation was, somehow, intact in what toughness was referred.

Right now, she was wondering whether it might become even stronger in the violent department, as the contact from Yondu’s Ravangers kept being nice to her.

“Nepo-bug” she grunted, piercing her with her mechanically altered eyes. The other woman, who had some physical alterations done as well (making her shorta kinda similar to the animal she had chosen to name herself after, presumably once she had been adopted by her actual boss), blinked at her, offended.

“That was unnecessary . I’ve proved myself quite capable when it comes to read emotions and reach out to other… Illegal firms . It has nothing to do with who my family is. Also, it is really rude to pray upon another person’s body. Maybe I have good reasons for looking like… this ” after saying that, she made an unconscious gesture, grapping her very own wrist as it hurt.

Nebula understood that language.

  “Dad, why does it hurt so much?”

“Don’t worry Nebula. You will be better once you get used to it. After all, wasn’t your meaty right arm a bother most of the time…?”

 “Fuck, I knew that Ego guy was pretty terrible. I mean, he liked Thanos; but…I won’t say I am sorry, because your current dad still wants to buy my services for far too less than they are worth, but…I get it. What did he do in your head?”

Mantis composed an unreadable expression, completely alien for Nebula, before answering.

“Just sensors to get people better. That is how I know you are trying to get extra money just to prove to your sister that she got payed less because she fancies my brother in the Biblical sense . Also, the money part of business is held by my mom, not dad. Meredith is the best with money, even if not choosing partners, some might say” she smile, and it was genuine. Then, she clicked her fingers and an angry male voice could be heard from behind a wall as all the cameras shut down.

“Lylla! The blue-tattooed lady is going to kill our Mantis if we left them alone. And, then, Drax is going to kill ME !”

“Oh, Rocket, pretty please, shut up or you are sleeping on the couch. I think those two deserve a bit of intimacy…you are alone, honey! Right, Rocket ?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, but you go next time Floor’s teacher calls, alright?”

A door opened and closed and Nebula didn’t hear the end of the conversation (not that she cared).

“So….terrible early childhood dad, uh?”

“Biological, in my case. He cheated on Meredith with a…I don’t even know who my mother was, or is. Just that I was one of those kids that were already born with an inclination to be genetically modified and, since Peter is too old-fashioned human for it…my existence healed his disappointment . What he didn’t expect was, well…”

“…your mother taking his two children and running away with the criminal he had paid to murder his older yet useless son? I mean, that story is kind of famous in our circles”. It had also been the beginning of the end of Ego’s reign in the underground.

“Yes, that. However, the Bad has already been done. I…I might be receptive to artificial modifications, but, what I am not receptive to is to read people as most people do. So…it was…challenging, also, the whole not-fitting-with-my-name-thing” Nebula bit her tongue there; the only thing Thanos had done for her was giving her a name she felt matched more than Pompeii (the one her parents had given her, a bit too much for her taste). “I hear feelings, sometimes even thoughts; when the person is emotionally too vulnerable; but I just burst them out loud, I didn’t get that that made people uncomfortable for quite a while. Then, when I chose to be called Mantis, I asked for the modifications so the ones Ego did remained hidden, especially from me”.

“So, you knew what I was thinking so…am I emotionally vulnerable?” Mantis smiled even more (fuck, how much could this woman made her feel comfortable?).

“That is not bad; I think is a kind of language, an especial one. Just as you got what was going on with me because of how I gestured. I think these are ways that made us communicate in ways that nobody else could” all of the sudden, Nebula felt herself blush.

“Woah, bug, that your brother and my sister are doing grown up things doesn’t mean that you and I…”

At this, Mantis blushed even more.

“Oh, no. No . Of course…I didn’t…just friends”.

“ Friendly acquaintances ” Mantis shrugged.

“Well, at least you dropped the nepo bit already. A beginning is a beginning”.

 Nebula stopped the recording and eyed her partner, who was relaxing over her legs. Mantis laughed at her face.

“I know the pain Lylla went through as a teen, but I swear, it will be nothing compared to the one she is going to feel when I catch her. She said they had stopped recording!”

“She didn’t specify …”

“She did!”

“You know she didn’t!”

“Oh, it’s been a while since my mind has been that easy to read” it was true. Apparently, the only thing she had needed to stop being so emotionally vulnerable was…to stop being so close within herself.

Figured.

“ Oi! It is not the only way I have now to understand you” Mantis hit her with delicacy, but certain strength.

She was right, though. They had been together for longer than Nebula had been not only in a relationship, but it good terms in general with anyone (except for Gamora, of course; but shared abuse would do that to you), and every day she realised she could understood Mantis without having to exchange traditional words.

In small gestures, in shared silences, in how she poured water into a glass…even the silliest of gestures could mean a world. And Mantis was catching up, too; for the first time, she was getting someone from the beginning without her unnatural abilities put into use.

They were just perfectly similar, yet not equal enough, for it. Nebula couldn’t have been luckier to have met her.

She would still call her Bug , though; that was something Mantis would never be able to avoid.

(Not that she actually wanted to).

#bugborg week #bugborg week 2023 #bugborg #mantis #nebula #guardians of the galaxy #mcu #marvel #mantis x nebula #fanfic #writing

[uselessheretic]

(this is just me offering an alternative interpretation so shhh)

if you shift the perspective a bit and cast away protagonist bias, there’s kinda a good argument for ”izzy wasn’t right to bully lucius, but also he wasn’t completely wrong either?”

on a ship, everyone works. in piracy, everyone works. one of the big themes throughout ofmd is the idea of piracy = freedom (not toxic masculinity i will die on this hill) which does go back to historical context. it’s really interesting to read about piracy and race because although pirates were not antiracist icons breaking down structures of white supremacy, pirate culture was radically far more racially equal in comparison. people escaping slavery often turned to piracy, and there was often direct democracies onboard of black pirates having a say in votes and equal split of bounties. (piracy was not perfectly antiracist please read more about it!)

a big part of this wasn’t from the goodness of pirates’ hearts, but because being on the sea necessitated this. it’s hard fucking work to run a ship and everyone works. there isn’t time for to be squabbling about race when the entire crew is constantly doing backbreaking labor that requires cohesion. along with that, most pirates were a mixture of sailors who were so poor they turned to piracy out of necessity, or former navy officers who just fucking hated the navy and decided to rob people instead. this forms a kinda smoothing of class boundaries because, again, there’s no time to be a bitch about money because everybody works.

so just think about this context and think about how izzy is very obviously working class and then it kinda… makes sense that he doesn’t find lucius ”i don’t clean things!” very charming. to be clear, i am in full support of lucius being a lazy gay who doesn’t do work and this makes izzy seethe but he can’t do shit about it and this is my life goal to achieve. but lucius is the only crew member on the ship who doesn’t do physical labor. and he doesn’t have to, he’s a scribe not a sailor, but this is a job that is born from class privilege that nobody else on the crew (other than jim) can hold because nobody else can read.

izzy is too strict and izzy is annoying, but he is consistent. (no, the hoisting the anchor was not supposed to be racially coded btw, wee john’s actor just has a bad back) everybody gets specific duties and everybody works and everybody agrees to that except for lucius who only takes orders from his rich boy captain. he doesn’t pick on lucius because he’s more feminine than black pete, it’s just that black pete shuts up and agrees while lucius goes sketches fang’s cock (icon icon icon)

it just? kinda makes a lot of sense that it pisses izzy off so bad when you consider the class dynamics at play. lucius is definitely not some super rich aristocrat! we know he did some pickpocketing back in the day (and it was not cute) but there is a certain level of class privilege necessary to have the skills that he does. the hardwork of piracy and running a ship is an equalizer where it doesn’t matter who you are, who you know, or who your daddy is: everybody works.

and having that blatantly disrupted and disrespected? and by some seductive twink with pretty lips who asks if you’ve ever been sketched and oh my god no you have not but what if––no no, you shant. all you can do is tell him to fuck off.

#ofmd meta #izzy hands #lucius spriggs #but also lucius did nothing wrong #ofmd #long post

[an-aura-about-you]

I Was a Queer Salvation Army Bell Ringer

Part 3: So What Were My Coworkers Like?

I mentioned in the previous part that the Salvation Army is not a hive mind. They are an Equal Opportunity Employer and, much like the US Army for some time, their policy on queer employees is Don't Ask Don't Tell. Granted, they needed to find queer employees for their propaganda, or at least employees willing to say they were queer for the cameras. But in any case, considering the Salvation Army's reputation that they have no organization-wide interest in rectifying and the fact that I live in a very conservative area of the United States, I decided that I would keep my queer identity primarily to myself.

And like, I am generally a pretty open and out person regarding that. If you are reading this and you, yourself, are not queer, the truth of the matter is coming out is not a one-and-done thing. A person may choose to come out to certain people but not others. A person may choose to come out to a complete stranger just because that's where the conversation leads. A person may choose to come out about part of their identity but not all of it, or may use a term that more people are comfortable or familiar with.

For example, I don't typically go into all the nuances of my gender identity with others unless they have made it clear they're signed on to listen. For my day to day life, I tend to let people assume I'm my assigned gender at birth since I dress in a way that aligns with what people expect for that. (Not completely, but that is a tangent for another day.) And if someone is cool with something beyond that, I tend to go with the term "nonbinary" rather than any of the more niche terms I use for my gender. Because ultimately, that's for me. My identity is mine. I am very fortunate to be in a position where any gender-related issues I have with my body don't necessarily have to be solved with surgery, and I know this is not the case for anyone. But I am the sort of person who can let my gender be mine and not worry about correcting the majority of people who are determined to get it wrong.

So yeah, coasting through this job in the closet.

For the most part, I didn't meet a lot of my coworkers. Because I still have my normal job, the primary time I had any shifts was Saturdays, and even then I had a late start of it due to other obligations. The person I saw the most was the woman who actually hired me, the head of the red kettle program.

She was, for the most part, pretty okay. She would drive me to where I was supposed to ring for the day, we would shoot the shit, she even bought me a soda once. She also said I was valuable as a worker specifically BECAUSE I was willing to come to work on Saturdays. She even gave me a bag of plums and apples. (The plums were ok and the apples were Red Delicious, which were definitely red.)

She was also, perhaps, a bit unprofessional and a little less than moral.

She talked about other bell ringers who didn't exactly perform well behind their backs, complained about a former donor who didn't donate a car this year, and, when I wanted to go to a pay-for-entry market, insisted I just sneak in without paying using my Salvation Army apron to let me in.

She also let me know something I should have realized before but didn't fully get until she said it: the bell ringers' pay comes out of donations. Not just any donations but specifically the donations from their own kettles. Any time I went out and rang the bell, my pay was a cut from the kettle. It does make sense, it being a non-profit organization. Of course everyone's pay came from donations. But this? This just makes the red kettles glorified panhandling in my mind.

In one sense, I'm for that. Indeed, the quickest way to solve a person's financial problems is giving them money. And more of it going directly to the bell ringers, most if not all of the hired ones not being merely lower class like me but actually in outright poverty, is better than it going to an organization where the head of this program is complaining about not getting another car they don't actually need.

In another sense, it does feel a little underhanded, and added to my personal moral dilemma of working there. More on that in another entry.

And honestly, there's not really much to say about my other coworkers as individuals as I hardly saw them. One of the drivers is an obvious Trump supporter as he was never seen without his Trump 2024 hat. Most of the other people were scraping by on the cusp of homelessness, taking up residence in an apartment complex that charges rent by the week. Some had pasts that involved jail time for stupid charges (ie marijuana possession, missing a court date, etc.), job loss, or crushing amounts of debt.

I did have an unexpected conversation with one coworker that, at this point, has been my last in-person interaction with anyone involved with the Salvation Army, but I will leave that story for another entry.