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#I hate the treatment she has since some years now rip
iamhereinthebg · 27 days
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˙˚∘Butterfly Effect ∘˚˙
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sirenologyyy · 5 months
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RIGHT SIDE OF MY NECK!
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neteyam x fem!metkayina reader
✧ summary : a certain sully boy can't admit he's smitten by one of the daughters of the olo'eyktan, but why would he? he's calculated and discerning and she's everything he wished he was.
✧ warnings : swearing (that's pretty much it LMAO)
✧ author's note : neteyam's 15, reader is older than tsireya by a year or so, some much needed lo'ak and neteyam brotherly bonding (after the trauma inducing hellscape that was atwow), lo'ak talking like a regular teenage boy, and in honor of it being December again, may i present to you, a neteyam fic that has been rotting in my drafts since April 🤩
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A gravelly groan escapes your lips as your hands managed to shield your face, almost to hide yourself from the undisputable truth that you, along with your Tsireya, and your older brother Ao'nung had been roped into the evident mess that was to teach the children of Toruk Makto the ways of the Metkayina.
You weren't as prejudiced as Ao'nung, sneering at the Sully children whenever he'd run into them, so meticulously influenced by your mother's dislike towards Skypeople, let alone the Omaticaya.
You weren't as welcoming as your younger sister, who had greeted them with big grins that only further accentuated her dimples and her devout willingness to help Toruk Makto's family in any way she could. While you had resorted to mirthless smiles and polite nods whenever you'd come across one of them, it was unnatural, yes, Ao'nung was quite unfair with his treatment towards them, yes, but Tsireya's overall cheer and joviality was something you could not for the life of you reciprocate.
You were fine with them being here, although you couldn't say the same for most of your people.
The only real thorn in your side was the oldest.
Neteyam.
Oh how your blood boiled whenever you'd spot him in the crowd. Always so eager to help, so eager to please, so perfect, so good, it made you want to punch the living daylights out of him... Well, only slightly, that may be an exaggeration. Your hate for him might be particularly irrational but valid in all the worst ways.
"Can't you tell them I've been bitten by something?"
"No" Tsireya snorts.
"I've slipped collecting coconuts and dislocated my ankle"
"Stop moving so much sister, or I will mess up your hair"
It was like he was so anxious about keeping up the golden boy facade, what a show off, you thought. Going out of his way to help any way he could, helping carry baskets of dried fish across the village, pushing heavy boats off to sea, weaving baskets, seeing to the ilus, even the tsuraks at one point. It infuriated you. What did he had to gain?
If there was one thing you despised, it was try-hards.
And Neteyam Sully was the bane of your existence.
"Oh!" You had exclaimed, snapping your fingers. "You can tell them I have fallen off my ilu and got ripped apart by an akula"
Tsireya laughed. "Yes, like they would believe me"
With another scoff, you stare st your sister through the mirror, so engrossed in the braiding technique you'd requested for her to do on your hair. "I don't see why you're bringing me into your affairs sister, it is clear as day you only want to help out the Forest People because you like the way that boy kept looking at you yesterday"
Tsireya tugs at your half-finished braid, making you swear and rub at your head, bringing Tsireya some amusement out of this. "Now, be quiet, be still, let me do my job"
With a sour mood, you allow Tsireya to thread the shells you requested she put in, sitting up straighter. "Your job in being an absolute bitch?"
Tsireya sighs again, feeling her slump in frustration behind you. "Do you think it is so easy a job for me to constantly deal with your attitude?"
A smirk comes to your face as Tsireya knots your braid off. "Don't worry, all your efforts will be seen by Eywa, she might even make the boy tell you your hair looks nice today"
"Enough, Y/N" Tsireya says, standing up from her seat.
You stood as well, hooking your arm around Tsireya's as you left your pod. "Oh let me have my fun"
A dozen morbid thoughts suddenly flood Tsireya's mind. "If we do that I am afraid there will be nothing left of Awa'atlu when you are finished"
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When you arrive, you immediately spot both the brothers sitting on the edge of the woven platform, their long legs dangling just above the water. They looked to be so immersed in a conversation that neither of them noticed you or Tsireya approach them, only when they were about 4 feet apart was when you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
"Oh great mother, is it just the two of you?" Says you, making both the boys stand up like springs.
"No, our sisters are coming, they aren't exactly good at being early to things" says the younger one, his eyes flicking to Tsireya every now and then, making you dizzy trying to hold eye contact with the boy.
"Hey Tsireya" He finally says, nodding at her sister who laughs again. It took everything in you not to start dry-heaving in front of them.
"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Neteyam wonders, another smirk playing at his thin lips as he looks at you.
Your forehead creases. "I am nothing of the sort, what about you? What has gotten you so chipper?"
"Nothing all that special, really" He replied, not even convincing himself.
You heftily exhaled through your nose, moving away from the group and walking up on the platform, taking one of the seaweed bands on your arm to bunch your hair up just to get it out of your face. Once you'd pull your hair through the band the final time, you turned around just to see Neteyam's head turn away, almost like it was a chain reaction.
You placed your hands over the dip of your hips, facing the odd group. "Now, where has our dear brother wandered off to? It's almost noon and he is nowhere in sight"
This makes the rest of them look around for Ao'nung, even the two brothers who you'd assumed wanted nothing to do with him after your brother had showed his blatant contempt towards them after he'd ridiculed them during their arrival.
"He must still be with Rotxo and the others, we must be patient" says Tsireya.
Your mind remained closed, throwing your hands up in the air only for them to land on her hips with a thwack. "We both know Ao'nung does not move like the tide, he is too stubborn, too hard in the head " you found yourself saying, prodding a finger at your forehead.
"Patience, sister" Tsireya admonishes calmly, making her way towards you as you placed your hands on the identation of your woven skirt. "We must not rush things, we allow things to come to us at their own pace"
"Alright, alright" you tell her half-heartedly.
"Hey! Sorry, are we late?"
You turn her head to spot the two Sully sisters jogging up to the beach, the youngest out of all of them went straight for Neteyam, watching as he scooped her up with no hesitation. "Where in Eywa's name were you two?" Neteyam wonders, eyeing his sisters curiously.
The older girl rolled her eyes, pointing her chin at the youngest. "Couldn't decide on which skirt she wanted to wear"
The little girl pouts. "I didn't know which one I wanted!" She protested, her ears drooping down.
"She had two to choose from" the older sister groaned. Eyes finding yours as her grin widens, you chuckle to yourselves, having sisters was never a dull moment.
You two had bonded over that when you first helped her with her chores, although she seemed reluctant at first she accepted. Neither of you got anything done as you both found that snacking on dried seaweed and exchanging stories about your lives proved to be more fun.
"Maybe he isn't coming" says Neteyam's younger brother, subtly inching towards Tsireya while keeping everyone under the impression that he was trying to find Ao'nung just like she was, but in truth, all he wanted was to stand beside her. Tsireya didn't pick up on it at all, being the oblivious person she was, but Neteyam did, quietly chuckling to himself as he puts Tuk down, watching as she sprints towards the sand at full speed.
You shook your head at the sound of Tsireya's giggles and walks off the diving platform as well, making your way towards the beach to stretch your legs, walking along the coastline trying to kill time. That is until something tugs at your skirt, you turned around to see who it was but then looks down to see Neteyam's youngest sister, proudly holding a small conch shell in her hands, beaming up at you.
"They look just like the ones in your hair!" She exclaimed, a gigantic grin spreading across her face as you crouched to her level, taking the shell from her hands to study it. "It's a light purple, you don't have any purple shells yet"
"You're right, I don't have any purple shells in my hair yet do I?" You say in genuine amazement, holding it up against the sun, feeling the little girl scoot closer to you, but the shell had suddenly started to sprout 6 legs and you dropped it, startled by the animal and by the little girl's scream, you watch as it scurries back into the water, gone forever.
You turned back to the little girl who was visibly upset, another frown slowly forming on her face before you placed your hands on the little girl's shoulders. "Hey, we'll find another one around here somewhere, don't be upset"
She huffed, her shoulders rising and falling. "I didn't know there was something inside it, I really didn't"
You shook your head. "Neither did I, we both didn't know" you assured the younger girl, cupping her round face as her frown slowly started to shift into a smile. "Look, if we need to do this properly and find shells for my hair, I'm gunna need to know your name"
"Tuk!" She says. "My name's Tuk!"
"It's very nice to meet you Tuk"
"Really?" She giggled as you nodded. "What about you? What's your name?"
You beckoned her closer with a simple gesture of your fingers as you whispered your name into her ear.
"You've got a very pretty name" Tuk whispers as well, hiding her face behind her hands as she giggled.
"So do you" You had whispered all the same.
Tuk then looks back at the diving platform, and then back at you. "Y'know I think my brother is staring at you"
"Oh yeah? Why do you think that is so?"
The little girl scratches her head. "I don't know, he only stares at things he thinks looks nice or looks weird"
You grinned. "Does your brother think I look nice or weird?"
Tuk blinks. "I don't think you look weird"
"Would he think that?" Ka'leia emphasized.
"Probably" Tuk replies honestly, looking back at the diving platform again. "Why else does he keep staring at you?"
It made you think, it made your mind spiral into the bottomless void of memories in which you had caught a pair of warm amber eyes catch yours, and every time you did it made your heart stutter, however unfortunate it may be. "I'm not so sure either"
"Neteyam's weird" Tuk deduced.
You snort. "Yeah, he's weird"
Silence settles between you, but not for long as Tuk takes your hand and pulls you up. "Can we go and find shells now? Then we can put them in your hair! Then you'll look pretty!"
"Am I not pretty now?"
"No, not really" says Tuk, swinging your interlocked arms back and forth as her wide eyes scanned the sand.
"No?" You wonder almost scandalised, "alright " you nod.
You and Tuk spent a good couple of minutes digging holes on the beach to fish out the shells that had been buried underneath the sand, conch shells, shards of shells, fossils, rocks, bits and pieces of coral, if it was pretty enough for Tuk's standards she's adding it to her pile.
5 minutes later you're following her around with an armful of tiny shells, half the beach full of holes from Tuk and her makeshift shovel that had originally been a branch, with her screaming in delight when she's spotted another one, hurriedly running to you to add it in with the rest.
Lo'ak abruptly places his hands on Neteyam's shoulders, purposefully trying to scare him but Neteyam does not flinch at all. "Yo bro, you got a staring problem or something?" He wonders in English, stepping beside Neteyam to look out into the beach too.
"You done flirting with Tsireya?" Neteyam shot back.
Lo'ak huffed. "Pfft, me? Tsireya?"
"I know your tell, your tail's a dead giveaway"
Lo'ak laughs, punching Neteyam's shoulder, finally making the older boy turn to face him. "Yo! Shut your ass up!"
Neteyam chuckles. "No one else here understands English bro, we're fine!"
Lo'ak shook his head. "I'm not worried about the Metkayina, I'm worried about that devil right there" He says, pointing at the beach.
Neteyam looks at the direction where Lo'ak was pointing. "Who? Tuk?
"She's got spot on hearing, incredible memory," Lo'ak listed. "If I'd have known how much of a tattletail she'd be I'd have abandoned her in the forest when she was a baby"
Neteyam frowns, laughing. "Yes, and when I'd get home I'd find your extra finger in my stew"
Lo'ak grimaces, almost gagging as Neteyam wiggles one of his fingers at him. "Disgusting!"
Neteyam cackles loudly, watching as Lo'ak covered his mouth. "You're overreacting!" He tells him.
"Nah bro, you don't get to fill my mind with those kinda thoughts" Lo'ak says.
Neteyam places a hand on his back. "Face it baby bro, i'm in your head"
Lo'ak pushes it away, chuckling. "Lay off!"
"Will you two ever go a day without fighting eachother?" Kiri asks, giving them a look.
"Not sure" says Lo'ak. "But I wouldn't hold my breath"
Kiri rolled her eyes and Lo'ak turns to Neteyam again. "If Ao'nung isn't coming then we might as well fetch him, if you catch my drift"
Neteyam shakes his head, his braids swishing from side to side. "No, we will do no such thing"
Lo'ak half shrugs, already moving away. "Fine, if you won't then I will"
Neteyam grabs his arm, stopping his brother in his tracks. "Hey, what did dad say?"
He pretends to think. "Not sure, something about you being the next poster boy of the clan?"
Neteyam flicks a finger on Lo'ak's forehead, making the younger boy hiss. "No, you skxawng, he wants us to be on our best behavior, and I don't want to be stopping you from pulling another shitty stunt that'll get you in trouble"
"Fine" Lo'ak says. "I'll go check up on Tuk," He tells Neteyam unconvincingly, scratching the side of his head. "What's up with you and wanting to stay on the beach?"
Neteyam's jaw tightens. "There's nothing that's keeping me here except my promise to dad"
"Uh-huh" Lo'ak nods, eyes flicking to you and Tuk. "Nothing or no one?"
"I don't know what you're talking about"
Lo'ak frowns, pretending he understood. "She's pretty hot"
Neteyam pays him no mind, only scoffing.
"She still avoiding you?" Lo'ak asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yes, and I can't seem to find the reason why" Neteyam huffed.
Lo'ak snickers. "Maybe it's cuz you're coming off a little too strong"
"I don't know how else I can get her to talk to me without her insulting every fibre of my being or making up some excuse to leave, I've tried everything" He replies desperately, causing Lo'ak's eyes to go wide, a whistle leaving his mouth. "Damn that bad??? What the hell did you do to her to make you hate her this much?"
Neteyam rakes his face with dread. "I don't know baby bro, but you have no idea what I would do to find out the reason why"
His brother was too down-bad to be saved, Lo'ak knew that much, looking across the beach as he studies you with his little sister. Neteyam looks at his brother, his eyes seemingly trained on you as it flicks up and down, he slaps his brother's arm. "It's rude to stare"
"Yeah, go tell that to them" Says Lo'ak, pointing at a handful of Metkayin boys passing by, giving you stolen glances as they talked amongst themselves, chuckling and hooting.
Neteyam's eyes narrow into slits. "They're irrelevant, we must not let ourselves become like them"
Lo'ak glances at him, clearly unconvinced. "Yeah, okay, so stop looking"
"Fine, I won't" Neteyam replies quickly, watching Lo'ak turn around and walk to the edge of the platform. But he dosen't stop looking, he hated himself for it for it and the way that it was practically eating himself alive.
Wasn't it such a simple task? To turn his head around and look somewhere else? Well it should be, but Neteyam couldn't bring himself to pry his eyes away from you, you, oh Eywa. Your eyes were the colour of the sea, your hair shiny and black, your smile making his stomach twist itself into knots, your laugh making shivers run up his back, the way you dressed alone would make people turn heads, but your attitude was what drew Neteyam in.
You didn't feel the need to keep up this respectful facade, treat him like a guest because it was expected of you as the daughter of the Olo'eyktan, no, you treated him the way you thought of him.
You were rude, you were impolite, and you were blunt, because you didn't like him. You didn't feel inclined to tolerate him just like what was expected of you. He wished he was that brave.
"'Teyam! 'Teyam look what I got!" Tuk squealed as the pair of you walked up the diving platform carrying mountains of shells on your palms. "Y/N told me she and 'Reya could put these in my hair after diving lessons! Isn't that cool?!?"
"Oh Tuk, you didn't force her into braiding your hair did you?"
Tuk looks back at you for moral support. "But she said she would-"
"-Neteyam let her be, if she wants me to braid her hair then I'd be happy to" you had jumped in, siding with Tuk whose ears flicked upwards at her statement. "I hope it isn't too infuriating that I favour your sisters over you"
Neteyam wanted to scoff, but instead stifles it with a tight smile. "Nonsense, my sisters have that effect on everyone" He tells her, looking at Tuk. "Don't you?"
Tuk simply gives him a giggle, a swift nod, and then runs to Kiri, shouting her name over and over again before the older girl groans in acknowledgement. "Here," you say, handing him a conch shell with yellow and brown patterns ruminating on its surface.
"What's this for?" He wonders.
"Your sister practically dug up the entire beach, you deserve at least one" you chuckled.
Oh. He stares at the shell in your hands, then looks back at your face. "If I take this does this mean we'll be friends?" He asks, a sly smile breaking on his face.
"Oh you wish" You reply, smirking as you narrow your eyss at the boy. "Taking this won't change anything"
"Yes it does," He replies as a matter of factly. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had without you leaving or insulting me"
"No it dosen't" You shook your head, insistent. "I'll still hate you after this"
He hums. "I think I can live with that," He smiled. "I did get a gift from the daughter of the Olo'eyktan after all" He laughs when he hears you scoff.
You leave right after he takes it and right before he could say thank you. Walking off to find a basket to store more of Tuk's shells in.
Neteyam looks at the shell in his hands, about 2 and a half inches long, smooth, shiny, perfect, it was perfect. He loves it. He closes his fist, a smile breaking on his face before he could even relent it, a light purple tinting his cheeks as he places the shell in one of his pockets.
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tojiscumdumpster · 4 months
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CHAPTER ELEVEN- TOJI
⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page
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 Life has really been fucking with me these last six weeks. Work’s hell. The apartment we live in went up by four hundred dollars. And to make matters worse, Megumi and I have been rockier than ever. 
 That’s the thing that’s bothering me the most.
 It’s over simple shit, too. 
 I try my best to be a laid back parent and only go full on dad mode when needed, but I think the kid has taken advantage of that. All I ask is three things from Megumi:
 Don’t get into fights, and if you do, don’t get caught. 
 School night curfew is eight. Weekends are eleven.
 And lastly, tell me your whereabouts.
 But what does he do instead? Miss curfew. Leave the house without telling me where he’s going, and now he’s on a two week-suspension from school since he got into a fight. 
 Grant it the fight was justify because some kids were fucking with him and talking shit about his lack of English, but shit, Megumi. 
 At least he won. 
 One side of me was saying that’s my boy, and the other side had to ground him. 
 Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy with me after that. 
 I’m surprised he actually listened to me, though. But with him listening, I’ve been getting the silent treatment, no eating meals together, and been avoided like I’m the plague. 
 Parenting is not a walk in the park, I know that. Especially when you’re a single parent. When times like this hit, I think of my late wife more than ever. 
 With her death anniversary right around the corner, I can’t help but miss her and wish she was by my side. 
 I can’t do this shit alone. I was not raised in a loving environment, and considering the fact that my old man was an abusive drunk that used me as his punching bag, I damn sure don’t know what the fuck it feels like to have a father. 
 A mom? Don’t know either. Old man wasn’t faithful and was sleeping around with different women, so my mom could be dead or alive. Who knows? 
 My late wife knew all of this, not the severity, but she knew I had a shitty family. Yet she managed to see something good in a motherfucker like me, to the point we had a kid together.
 A kid that fucking hates me. And I’m the only one to blame. 
 God, maybe I should listen to Kong for once. I’m forty-two. Shit, maybe it is time to settle down and look for a housewife. Someone who’s willing to help raise a fifteen-year-old boy. 
 No, what the fuck am I saying? Since when do I listen to that fucker?
 Never. I trust him, though. Hell, do I really have a choice since he helped me take care of Megumi when I was going through my episodes in the early years of my wife’s death? 
 But my kid is my responsibility. Getting a woman involved isn’t going to help my relationship with Megumi. That’s some shit I need to fix myself. 
 Kong and I have one unorthodox ass relationship, but he’s the only bastard I actually consider a friend, and I know he means well. 
 He is Megumi’s godfather after all. Besides, the last thing I want to do is to ever make Megumi feel like I’m trying to replace his mom. Far from it. 
 Maybe loneliness is just catching up to my old ass.m, and the only woman I think of breaking me from my no relationship rule is Y/N. 
 Y/N fucking L /N. 
 That woman drives me insane in more ways than one. 
 After our first date over a month ago, we’ve been talking nonstop. Texting. Calling. Casual dates every now and there when time allows us. If I’m being real, Y/N is the only reason why I haven’t ripped my fucking hair out. 
 People would usually turn to alcohol to depend on the burning sensation it gives you to get drunk when feeling stressed. But me? Y/N is who I get drunk off of. Her energy is fucking addicting, and the reassurance she gives me… who know I needed so much of it. 
Like any other man, I don’t turn to anyone to help with my problems. I’m a prideful motherfucker who has the ego the size of a galaxy. However, I don’t have to be the way around Y/N. I sound sappy as shit, I know. 
 Guess that’s what happens when you become vulnerable. 
 The only reason why I haven’t had sex with her yet.
 I know myself. When I was younger, I only saw sex as a way to make extra cash when I was struggling after I got disowned by the Zen’in. The older I got, sex became more meaningless to me. I can be balls deep in pussy, no matter how good it is, and have no type of feelings attached. Me making a woman come or them making me come doesn’t mean I’ll start buying them roses and shit. 
 It wouldn’t be the same with Y/N. 
 Not saying I’m on the verge of falling in love with her, let alone loving her. But seeing how much we talk, how jealous I fucking get, especially after figuring out she works at the same school as her ex-fiancé, I don’t want any other fucker to even breathe the same air as her.
 Not even myself, but I’ll still be selfish enough to do it.
 That’s the thing about Y/N. I feel myself growing more selfish when it comes to her. I want her time and energy to only be for me. She’s mine without her knowing and I’m planning on keeping it that way. I can admit that’s probably a dick move, but I can’t find myself falling in love again. 
At least, I’m forcing myself not to.
 Hearing her moan my name. Seeing her face when she comes. Knowing what it feels to have that sweet, tight, warm fucking pussy clench around my fingers. I’ll become a starved and possessive man the moment she’s like that around my dick. 
 I’ll catch feelings.
 I’ll want her above me, beneath me, all over me twenty-four-seven. I’m not an easy lover. I can admit to that.
 But that won’t stop me from…
 No, I won’t say that.
 It’s strong. Whatever emotion I feel about Y/N, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with her being so damn familiar. The more I talk to her, the more I know who she is. Maybe in another lifetime I’ve loved her before. 
 Even saying that in my head sounds crazy as shit. The dreams about her aren't helping, either.
 “Get a hold of yourself, Fushiguro,” I mutter to myself. I look at the time to see it’s eleven thirty. “She should be on her free hour right now.” 
 Maybe a phone call wouldn’t hurt.
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 “I’m busy,” I grunt.
 I couldn’t even call Y/N before Kong called me to fucking be clingy. He claims he only calls me to check on the kid, but Megumi has his own phone. 
 “Mad because I’m not your girlfriend? Sorry, I had you first, Fushiguro.” I hear him puffing out smoke from his cigarette. “Be grateful you have a fucking friend to check on you, you fucking jackass.”
 I chuckle, sarcastically saying, “Awe, I consider myself very lucky.”
 “Fuck you.”
 “Sorry, not interested,” I replied. And this is what I mean by unorthodox friendship. “Assuming you got some information for me?” After that Zen’in fuck purchased the club ownership last month, I had Kong do some digging for me.
 All the bullshit he was spewing about Naobito forcing everyone in that family who doesn’t have a kid, to have one, and taking interest in finding Megumi, I couldn’t take shit like that lightly.
 Not when my kid is potentially involved.
 Knowing how those Zen’ins’ get down, they always find a way to get what they want. Even if it results in blood.
 “I found some files about that Naoya shitface you told me about… Looks like he’s the real deal,” he says.
 “Meaning?”
 “Meaning he is your cousin. Looks like your old man’s brother had some unwanted kids of his own.”
 “Having kids in the family just to leave them dry is a fucking ritual in that shitty ass family.” I get up from bed and go to the kitchen to grab a ginger ale. “What else you find out?”
 “Zen'in owns half of the real estate in Tokyo,” he tells me, clicking his tongue. “Those bastards keep growing and growing by the minute. So if what this Naoya is saying is true, I can only imagine Naobito is doing this to have the city fear the name Zen’in, even after he’s six feet under.”
 I scoff. “For an ego stroker? So what the fuck does this have to do with my kid?”
 “How the hell am I supposed to know?”
  Over my dead fucking body if they think they could come even twenty feet near Megumi. I have no problem going back to that violent lifestyle that I’m trying to escape when it comes to protecting my kid.
 Actually, I’m hoping that they do because I’ve been itching for a stress relief and permanently getting rid of those Zen’in fucks just might be the way to do it.
 Maybe I should pay them a visit on my trip to Japan in a few months.
 I run my hand through my hair and sigh. “Alright. Keep me posted.” An incoming call comes through and I see Y/N’s name flashing my screen. “Gotta go.”
 “Your girlfriend’s callin-” I disconnected our line before he finished his bullshit to answer Y/N.
 “I’m so close to fucking pulling these braids out and choking my boss with them.” Ha, that’s a funny way to say hello.
 “I’m trying to wrap my head around why hearing you threaten to kill someone is turning me on?” I tease.
 She lets out a soft breath. “I’m sorry, big guy. Work is being a pain in my ass right now.”
 “I see that. You cursed twice. That’s something expected from me.”
 “Well, it’s kind of inevitable when you’re a high school teacher,” she argues. “And actually, no. I expect four curse words in under a minute from you. So I think my two words will be alright.”
 I smile while walking back to my room and close the door behind me. “Talk to me, sweets. What’s going on?”
 “Other than finding out that my name was unknowingly submitted to take part in the state’s teachers summit, nothing really.”
“Is it that bad?” 
 “No. It’s actually a good opportunity to voice your concerns as a teacher to the school board, but quite frankly, I’m tired of going. Only one teacher is selected every year to represent each school in the county and it’s always me.”
 “And what is this summit shit? Why do they need teacher representatives?” I hear her smile through the phone when she explains the summit, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of me cursing already. “Probably this isn’t what you want to hear, but I can see why you’re always chosen. You speak your mind well, and I can see the passion you have when it comes to your students.”
 “Well, yeah, but every teacher should be that way,” she counters. “And the summit this year is four hours away from us, so they made it a weekend convention. A weekend, Toji?” 
 I arch my brow. “And who submitted your name?” Her silence tells me my answer. “You sure this fucker isn’t trying to win you back? Abusing his power as your boss to get you to himself for the weekend seems like a man move I probably would’ve done, too.”
 “You would?” she incredulously asks.
 “When it comes to you? Absolutely. Zero questions asked.” I can almost guarantee the silence from her again is because she’s blushing, something I find fucking adorable about her. “You there, Miss L/N?”
 “Toji, I’m at work,” she answers.
 “Admitting that your mind is in the gutter?”
 “I-uh, no. Just reminding you to get your head out of it.”
 I tip my head back and laugh. “Cute. So when’s the summit?”
 “In three months.”
 “And you can’t pull out?”
 “Unfortunately, no. Unless I can prove that it’s due to a medical or family emergency, I’m out of luck.” No doubt in my mind that her ex pulled this shit intentionally. I mean, I get it. If I lost someone like Y/N as my fiancée, I would be going through hell and back until she was mine again. 
 But too bad for this fucker that isn’t the case anymore, and I don’t tread lightly when it comes to people fucking with what’s mine.
 Mine, that’s exactly what Y/N is.
 “I’m way too hungry for this crap,” she says, pulling me from my possessive musings. 
 “And you didn’t eat because?”
 “Someone kept me up last night on the phone, so I overslept and couldn’t get a decent breakfast before work this morning.” 
 I chuckle, remembering our two a.m. conversations that turned into her masturbating while I was talking her through it. “I’m sure that person is sorry.”
 “Doubt it.”
  I look at the time again to see it’s noon. “What time is your free hour over?” 
 “One. Why?”
 “Grab lunch with me.”
 She playfully hums to consider my last minute invitation. “I guess I can squeeze you in.”
 “Squeeze me in?” I mock her response while laughing. “Appreciate it, Miss L/N.”
 “I’m sure you can find a way to show me your appreciation.”
 I smirk. “Forgot you were at work?”
 “Whatever, Mr. Fushiguro. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”
 “Alright, alright. I’ll see you,” is the last thing I say before disconnecting the call.
 Smiling to myself like a fucking lovesick idiot knowing that I’m about to see Y/N has me surprised myself. Like I said earlier, this woman drives me insane.
 And I think I’ll grow to not mind it.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER
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no discussion question this chapter. but would love to hear your thoughts ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
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special-mooon · 8 months
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Random TWST hcs I have (Part 2 here)
(I need to write these down somewhere so enjoy)
(En español aquí)
One time Cater was working on a potion in class and dropped his phone down the cauldron, it completely melted away. Safe to say he never brings his phone to that class ever again. (Trey baked him goods to make him feel better about losing the phone)
Deuce’s mom got pregnant when she was young and still in Highschool. She became a single mother and had to drop out in order to support him. Deuce didn’t find out about this till way later in middle school and it became the main reason why he wants to become a better student.
He’s a mamas boy what can I say
Also in my mind Deuce is Mexican ☝️ (its true he was the chambelán at my cousins quince)
Ruggie is crazy good with kids, he basically became the neighborhoods permanent older brother.
The horror movies in twisted wonderland are actually a lot more tame than in the real world.
One time Yuu watched a scary movie with the 1st years and everyone was shitting their pants while Yuu just stood there like “🧍this is goosebumps level horror”
Yuu explained the plot to Hereditary once as an example of what type of horror movies their world had. The 1st years never want to watch a movie from their world. Like ever.
Also medical treatments in TWST are a lot nicer and painless. They use magic for a lot of injuries. Got a deep cut? Magic! You’re sick with some virus? Magic! Magic cures all! It even works on ppl who can’t use magic
Oh but it doesn’t work on Yuu since they’re from a different world
One time Yuu got a cut pretty deep and needed stitches
Having to explain what stitches were to the professors was a strange experience. The students thought it was some form of torture method.
“So you just get sewed up like some ripped teddy bear?!
Wait until you explain to them what Shots are. Or how getting blood samples work in your world.
Oh but the dentist treatment is fairly the same in both worlds.
No one in heartslabyul can handle spicy foods (except for Deuce)
While at Scarabia spicy food is like the main meal and everyone LOVES it.
One time Kalim invited Riddle, Trey, and Cater to come eat dinner at his dorm. Let’s just say some things happened and Jamil now learns to tame down the spice whenever anyone from Heartslabyul comes over.
Cater has photos of Trey and Riddle from that day. He was threaten to never share it with anyone. (He looks at them sometimes to get a good laugh even tho he was also dying that day from the spice)
Yuu once made an Ice Cream cake for Malleus birthday. At first he was a bit disappointed that Yuu brought him a cake since he’s not a big fan of them, but was absolute flabbergasted when he bit into it. He now demands Yuu to teach him the recipe.
Sometimes the Leech twins will have full on fist fights in the Dorms lounge area. Not cuz they hate eachother or anything, that’s just how they are. Everyone at the dorm is so used to seeing them fight to the point where people start betting on which brother would win. Yes Azul was behind this.
Listen Rook would absolutely love the “Masochism Tango” song
Idia helped build an AC unit at Ramshackle Dorm only because Yuu kept staying over at his dorm when it would get hot outside.
There’s a story that floats around the school about Sams shop. Apparently a student years ago tried stealing something from the store and the student ended up turning into a frog, they completely disappeared after that. No one knows if the story’s true or not. Still no one dares stealing from his shop.
Kalim is surprisingly really good at Slide puzzles. He was able to solve a 6x6 puzzle in under a minute.
When Malleus was a child a frog wrapped its tongue around his horn and it freaked him out. He tried grabbing the frog but it was too slimy. Lilia ended up finding him curled up in a ball outside his backyard with a frog sitting on his head. Yeah he HATES frogs now.
Silver likes frogs tho he thinks they’re cute. Once when he was a kid he brought a frog into the house when Malleus was visiting. Malleus out of instinct SMACKED the frog straight into the wall.
Silver didn’t talk to Malleus for like a week straight after that. (Sebek was not so pleased about it)
The only person higher than Malleus in Sebeks mind is his mother. He’s such a mamas boy and want’s to become strong enough to not only protect Malleus but also to protect her.
Listen Sebeks dad is literally just some guy. Imagine Allen from Barbie. He’s still a great dad and husband tho
That’s it for now I’ll probably make another post when my twst brain rot returns 🫡🫡🫡
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I find it amusing that you hate James when we don’t even know his pov. We only got to see Snapes memories and since he hated James his memories would have been the worst thing James did. What James did was wrong and there’s no excuse for it but we don’t even know all the stuff Snape and his friends did to all the other students. Snape wasn’t innocent and neither was James. James at least grew up but Snape never did and stayed a bitter arsehole that bullied children until the day he died. Yes he did some good but it was all for Lily (his obsession with her was creepy and not romantic at all). Now let’s compare Sirius and Draco. Sirius came from a similar family as Draco with similar beliefs. Yes he was a bully to Snape but he went against his family and their believes and chose good over evil. Draco on the other hand has been put on a pedestal by fandom probably because they haven’t read the book and liked the actor who played him in the movies. He was a coward, blood-ist, narcissistic bully who thought his family status gave him the right to look down upon everyone. The only good thing he did was lie about Harry being Harry Potter. After that though what did he do in Room of Requirement? If Harry hadn’t saved his ass he would have been a fried ferret. Now Remus, the worst thing he did was not stop James and Sirius from bullying Snape but Snape wasn’t always innocent. Are you telling me that once Snape found out about Remus being a werewolf he didn’t shove it in his face? If someone made fun of my friend for disease you better believe I’m going to stand up for them and take this bully down. The Marauders may come off as bullies but they fought for the light until their last breath. You’re forgetting all the good things they did and letting one memory shape their entire lives. Snape was the reason Harry lost his parents so he should have done everything to protect Harry it was the least the slimy git could have done. Lily and James missed out on Harry’s life because of Snape. Hell Snape should have gone and checked on him when he was the Dursley’s since he was the reason Harry had to live with them but no he chose to bully a child instead because he looked like his father and then ripped a picture of Harry and Lily and a letter she wrote for Sirius. Real mature. And really creepy.
Funny how marauder stans can never defend James without bringing the things that Snape did.
See, that might work on a Snape stan, but someone who proudly loathes both of them, it ain't working on me.
(Now I'm gonna go with this point wise cuz I love organizing shit)
We only got to see snape's memories...the worst thing that James did.
In swm, James and Sirius literally tried to choke him on soap, hung him upside down in the air, showed his underwear to the jeering crowd and then sexually assaulted him. If that is the worst thing james can ever do, then why would you support his actions?
James grew up and snape stayed bitter
That's called fucking victim blaming. James grew up from what? Bullying other people? Sexually assaulting others? Ruining someone's life because they exist? That's literally the most basic thing he could have done to not be a fucking jerk. And as for Snape, you cannot expect someone to just "grow up" when they have been traumatized for the most part of their lives??? You cannot go and tell a trauma victim "it's been years, just get over it" because they can't. They fucking can't.
Also, please tell me when exactly did James grow up? He continued to bully snape, even behind lily's back, till 7th year. And then? If James grew up, he should have apologized to snape. Where did he do that? I don't support snape's treatment of students at all, which is why I hate him, but James was a bully till he died, and he never grew up.
Comparison between sirius and draco
If you compare someone with draco, 9/10 cases they come out looking good. Cuz it's fucking draco. He's a typical "high school bully" stereotype. That's it.
Just because sirius was not a bigot when it came to wizard classism and bloodism, doesn't mean he was a good person. That's called being a decent human being. Yall marauders fans always praise them for doing the literal bare minimum. Nothing changes the fact that sirius was a bully and was just as bad as James. So don't come and tell me he's a good person, cuz he doesn't even fall in the category of decent. Also he literally tried to MURDER snape. USING remus. He had no problem sacrificing his friend's life so that he can kill another person who did nothing. In his teens. What the fuck.
Defense of remus shit
"Snape tormented remus about his lycanthropy" show me where. Cuz what I see is that he kept it a secret (bare minimum, shouldn't be appreciated) and also gave potions to him so that the transition is better. If you can find a single place where snape bullied or even insulted remus for his condition. Secondly, nothing snape does can justify him getting hung upside down, choked on soap and getting sexually assaulted in front of a jeering crowd. And remus supporting it is pretty much the same as doing it.
The marauders did good things
The marauders did good things for each other. They fought in a war. So? Does that cancel out their bad, which is much more than the good? No. Snape fought too, even tricking voldemort, does that cancel out the bad he did? You have already said it doesn't for you, so. Just because someone does a few good things doesn't mean that it erases out the millions of bad things they did.
And the rest is you shitting on snape, which idgaf about cuz I hate him.
Now go fuck yourself.
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syncrgistic · 5 months
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Closed for @ofherbalisms
There's a soft glow from the moon as Anu sits outside, listening to the buzz of the cicadas. She hated that noise the first night she spent at the sanctuary, it felt too quiet, too unnerving like she was anticipating something bad to happen. The quiet before the storm, except the storm never came. Now, it served as a reminder that they were safe, she didn't have to sleep in intervals, jolting up every time she heard a noise. If it was under a different circumstance, she'd probably laugh thinking about how far she had come from being a city girl who slept soundly to the sound of sirens and cars honking on the road and didn't even know where to start to make a simple campfire to trekking across the country, using a map, compass and sheer willpower. Sometimes she wished her ma was here so she could show her the person she had become.
There was so much that she wished for and though it seemed stupid and childish, sometimes she'd sit under that starry skies, eyes searching for a shooting star to wish upon. Anu knows that it will never come true, that a shooting star is just meteor, a bit of debris burning up as it passes through the atmosphere but she can just pretend for a little while, feed into her fantasy before she falls back to reality. Her hands are clasped, eyes squeezed shut as she quietly recites a prayer in Hindi. It's been a while since she's prayed, and in all honest truth, it was hard to hold onto her faith when the world was going to shit.
She opens her eyes at the sound of rustling, her body tense, hands falling to grab a rock but she breathes a sigh of relief when she remembers that she's safer than she has been in the last few years. Her body's still frozen though, even if she had been mentally preparing herself for the inevitable, for when they could no longer dance around each other. One half of her wants to just get up and leave without a word. The silent treatment had been working well enough till now. But the other half of her knew that they had to rip off the band aid at some point and maybe she just had to be the bigger person and say something, anything. "Sorry. I ⎯" The words dissipate on her tongue. Coward. There had been so many speeches in her head and she couldn't even bring herself to begin a single one. "You can stay, I'm leaving anyways." She hovers for a moment, not quite ready to go, hoping Reuven would say something. Tell me to stay.
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sarah-dipitous · 1 year
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 53
Fresh Blood/Army of Ghosts
"Fresh Blood"
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: no one died in the Bella and Gordon meetup, but if you’re asking if I would survive a vampire attack….not without Sam and Dean there
Wait…do we get Bella AGAIN?? Thank you. Thank you so much, writers. Don’t like that Gordon’s ambushed her
“Sam Winchester’s the antichrist” is just a sentence that’s said with utmost seriousness in this show. I love it here
Bestie is not just morally gray. She’s morally gunmetal. Morally charcoal. (And yet I still think she’s not truly going to betray the boys, but she sure is gonna look like she is)
Nah, I’m with Sam here, that was too close, Dean. You can’t be….if you get turned into a vampire, will the hellhounds have any affect on you?? Asking for a friend
I want this vampire to be lying so badly. I want her to absolutely fool them. Why do I want this??
And immediately taking that back “there was this guy. He was old. Like, 30.” Girl, you are at LEAST 25
How does JPad give the coldest, deadliest stare and also the saddest puppy dog eyes? He’s done both in this scene.
Man. I know Dean just threatened to kill Bella with all the seriousness in the world, but I’m still holding out hope for something else
Wait…is this how/when we lose Gordon as an antagonist? OH SHIT. Gordon got turned into that which he hates most. Maybe don’t taunt a vampire who has you captive….I dunno. I’d like to read a paper on the treatment of Gordon in the show, though. There’s probably a lot of commentary that could be made about him
Vampire Gordon is even more terrifying
Mmmm, original vampire should have killed Gordon when he had the chance. Mourning the loss of your new vampire daughters was the price he paid. It’s no wonder he’s begging Sam and Dean to kill him
Maybe it’s that this season is particularly short, but every single episode has had a monster or victim really twist the knife on what what the Winchesters are feeling about the deal Dean made
Oh that was pure tragedy watching Gordon kill his hunter buddy.
I’m glad Sam’s FINALLY confronting Dean about this. About how Dean’s been acting like his life doesn’t matter at all since he’s only got a year to live (less, now). Catch me crying in the break room. “I wish you would drop the show and just be my brother again.” I can’t do this…(because I’m having Todobros feelings about it)
Gordon…you didn’t have to bring innocent people into it…(I can’t wait to try to find some good writing on Gordon)
RIP Gordon. You deserved better from the writers room.
Not handling it particularly well that this is genuinely the best Dean can do to just be Sam’s brother again: teaching him how to fix the impala because he’s gonna need to learn how to…
"Been On My Mind...": Nah.
"Army of Ghosts"
I'm...not ready to say goodbye to Rose.
Also, it's downright CRUEL of the Doctor to ask her how long she's going to stay with him. He knows the answer isn't forever. He knows it CAN'T be forever. So asking is just mean for both of them.
I don't know how long Rose has been gone for, but...it feels like the world got really comfortable with "ghosts are real and we are going to treat them like nothing happened" REAL QUICKLY.
It's times like these I miss Mickey. He never would have put up with this.
OMG they moved from "ghosts are real" to integrating them into everyday life to WRITING TV EPISODES WHERE GHOSTS ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST REALLY FUCKING QUICKLY. TWO MONTHS?? IT TOOK TWO MONTHS???
hOW...I'm not here actually complaining about Freema being in this episode, but it feels odd to have her here THIS CLOSE to when she becomes the next long term companion.
These episodes and the ones in the parallel universe are the biggest ads for wired headphones I've ever watched. They really make me never want to get a set of airpods, I'll tell you that much.
Ew, Jackie. No. Just because Rose has gone places, seen things, had life experiences you never got to doesn't mean she's not still HER. I'm sorry you miss your daughter and the person you remember her being, but THIS? is not it. Talking about how she'll be a strange woman in a marketplace some galaxies away in 40 or 50 years time, but she won't be Rose Tyler. As if we're meant to stay the same way our whole lives, never learn or grow.
All THAT said, Jackie and the Doctor should get to sass each other more often.
Ew. Really don't like Yvonne...
The sphere does not exist. It seems like it exists, like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's in a special room in Torchwood built just for it, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it does not exist, according to Rajesh Singh and his team of Torchwood scientists. Existence is tricky.
(Related: Is watching Torchwood worth it? Or is it full of people like Yvonne? I never got into the spin offs for Doctor Who. I know Jack's in it and there's a guy named Iago(? something close to that, iirc) and...another person to round out a trio of main characters. This has turned into that "no I love all my children equally. There's [correct name], *looks at smudges on hand* [close but incorrect name followed by increasingly incorrect names]")
OMG I WAS JUST SAYING HOW I MISSED MICKEY!!!! AND NOW HE'S HERE!!!
Scary that it only takes three people to fuck up the entire operation. I'm not saying that the way Torchwood was handling this was right or that they actually had things under control (they didn't, but it looked like they did. and to them, it felt like they did). But it took just three people being somewhat turned into cybermen to bring the sphere into actual existence and then bring the rest of the cybermen along with it.
I'm loving this new confidence Mickey has. Love that he can be just friendly with Rose. He's not clingy anymore, he's not guilting her for going of with the Doctor anymore. He's his own man, and I'm proud of him.
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT WAIT WAAAAAAIT!!! IS DOOMSDAY THE EPISODE WITH THE DALEKS VS. CYBERMEN EXCHANGE I LOVE SO MUCH??? Oh, not to wish my weekend away (especially with the everything else that happens in that episode), but...........
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coolcoelacanth · 28 days
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i wrote a long diary entry basically about my cat findings and financial life so i will put under the read more if you are interested in the tea LOL
update on my cat again: luckily the gabapentin made her sedated enough so they could take the chest x-rays w/out having to fully sedate her. bad but expected news, she has patchy lung infiltrates in both lungs, and her bronchioles were opaque. this means there is definitely irritation/inflammation in her lungs. i was hoping it would just be a pulmonary issue, since the vet said her heart murmur sounded quieter while she was on the gabapentin (possibly indicating a stress murmur), but we did a proBNP test and the results were abnormal :/. it didn't say low-high which is kind of annoying (esp considering how much i'm paying...), but that means i have to do the echocardiogram now to finally see if there is something wrong w/ her heart/what it is. if there is something wrong w/ her heart, the coughing and the lung x-ray could indicate pulmonary edema (fluid in the lungs due to all the blood in the left ventricle not being expelled to the body, causing regurgitation into the lungs).
i am praying that the echo is normal and she simply has like bronchitis from allergies, or asthma or something with a better prognosis than a heart condition. i'm also going to be 1.2k in the hole after all this testing, but i'm already in a massive amount of debt from going to pharmacy school so i figured why the fuck not who cares lmao just tack it on. plus it's better to figure it out now than to wait until she's in terrible condition and on her deathbed. and i will have some sort of salary after this final year of pharmacy school, so i don't have to make it too much longer. (either a salary from doing a residency or if i'm desperate, signing onto walgreens or some shit and hating my life). but i also have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to even take the naplex (pharmacy board exam basically), and i have to pay to take the MPJE (NYS law exam for pharmacists). i'm pretty sure the total will be like $700, and. that's if i pass the first time....and my tuition is crazy high, and the last year i'm literally not even in the classroom bc we just do straight rotations onsite for the last year WHICH WE ARE NOT PAID FOR.
i'm tired of getting boned economically by my stupid ass school. i'm not so upset about the vet bills tbh, for some reason i literally don't care. i have enough savings (although most of them are from my graduate plus loan to pay form my rent LOL RIP) and i can always TAKE OUT ANOTHER LOAN if i need more money for rent or something, so i at least i'm fortunate enough to have that option. i am just so ready to be free from all this bullshit and have an actual goddamn income. i'm going to treat mirabel anyway, but now i'm worried how much treatment is going to cost, i only had my mind on the tests we had to do. and i really really really hope it's something curable/manageable and NOT a congenital heart disease. or if it is heart disease, it's not severe. i did have hope from the chest x-ray, b/c the vet said that her heart did not appear abnormally large or shaped, and i read that a positive proBNP test can also indicate other stressors like bronchitis so it's not a guarantee that it's her heart.
also it's literally just my luck that i pick out the congenitally sick cat from the shelter. i love her and she's my bff at this point, but it's like yeah that's about right for my track record. they didn't even mention a heart murmur on her vet notes from the shelter, which i'm confused about. did they just not write it down, or did they straight up not hear anything? b/c the vet said it was grade 3/4 which means its pretty goddamn loud. i'm like, did i get lowkey scammed by the shelter? i mean i love mirabel, but idk seems a little shady to me. but i am at least glad that i chose a good paying career so this is all (hopefully) a temporary issue, which a lot of people do not have that saving grace.
sorry i literally just wrote like a diary entry i did not plan on writing this much LMAO. if you actually read this, bless you. if you didn't, that's okay i'm fine w this being my echo chamber.
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feralgremlinchild · 1 month
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Tw death, medical, child custody
(also I can’t remember how to do a read more so heads up it’s a long post)
I’ve been gone a while, I kept meaning to return but everything in life just kept getting worse. Taking care of my mother became more of a challenge, and the past 6 months she was in hospitals and skilled nursing homes. We had some good times together, I took her to see the eras tour in theater because she absolutely loved Taylor swift.
My mother died a week and a half ago, thankfully she was aware of what was happening and she was ready for it. She had unfortunately already been legally dead and revived and intubated before she had a chance to sign a dnr. She hated being intubated, but I tried to help as best I could to make communication possible for her the seven days she was intubated. I made her a talking board.
I tried my best to treat her with dignity and make sure she had the little comforts the past few months. I drew signs for her hospital wall, I brought her her favorite stuffed animal, I clipped and filed her nails, I brought my (retired) service dog to see her because she adored him and he always made her feel better. Helped order her food. Found solutions to little problems like an elastic band for her watch instead of a buckle. Assistive devices and technology. It never felt like a chore, it wasn’t a decision I had to make, I just did things.
She had finally decided a couple months ago that she was not going to take more of her dilaudid than prescribed. And she was actually sticking to that. I had been waiting for that my entire life and I was so so proud of her. She was trying very hard. She wanted to see my niece again, she wanted to be around a while longer. Up until the beginning of March, the doctors told us they weren’t sure how much time she had left, but it could be months or even a year, it depended on her recovery. Her body’s ability to recover. In the end though it was just too tired, she’d been sick her entire life and she couldn’t recover from this last infection.
My niece’s dad allowed her to visit the hospital a couple days before my mother passed. I didn’t get to see the kid because I wasn’t at the hospital, I had already gone home. The kid had been given a phone for her birthday a few days earlier, and has been allowed to contact us so far. I haven’t seen her in person since December, but I’ll see her on Friday at the service. We’ve been texting though, mostly about games we both play and inside jokes.
I had to buy a black dress because my old one ripped. I have lost a lot of weight recently anyways, it probably wouldn’t have fit. It turns out stress and grieving can take the pounds off you even when an eating disorder couldn’t. It’s not exactly happy weight loss. I haven’t been celebrating it. But the weight did need to come off, so maybe at least my joints will be a little happier.
Now I have to find a job at some point in the next couple of months. The insurance money won’t last forever, and I had always planned on getting a job after my mother passed. She had been my full time job for years. I’m going to get a job, help my dad sell the house, and then move out of Texas. If all goes well I will be in New England this time next year. It’s a big move but I need to get as far away as possible, I’ve been dreaming of this for years and years and it’s finally time to start making steps towards it.
Also both of my big dogs have large tumors and I have no money for removal or treatment.
Also also my cousin’s wedding is in less than two weeks and it’s a 5 hour drive minimum and I did get a dress and it’s good but I do not feel like celebrating anything right now. The guy is nice tho, very kind and has what the church people call a heart of service. They’re cute together. And my cousin is great and I love her and I grew up with her almost like a sister, even going to the same schools. But I’m just not in a happy wedding mood. I’m going anyway of course.
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wandaromanova · 3 years
Text
Lost
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: mentions of cancer, death, cussing
A/N: hello! i’d like to put a disclaimer that i am not in any way knowledgeable of the medical field and all of the terminology and information used in this fic was found through research! happy reading <3
anon requested: hiiiii !! can i request like an angst into fluff natxfem!reader one shot where the reader has a really bad day and takes it out on nat and hurts her feelings and so they go to bed angry. but the reader realizes their mistake and the next morning just wakes her up by showering her with love and then takes the whole day to do cute little date things with her? like making her favorite meal or like dancing in the kitchen to their favorite song late at night or just super fluffy things? if not, that’s okay!! have a good day <3
Summary: The heavy weight of her profession gets to Y/N and she takes her anger out on her loving girlfriend; Natasha Romanoff.
Word Count: 3K | navigation
please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3
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Becoming a doctor was no easy feat.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
Once high school is completed, one must receive your bachelor’s degree before taking the MCAT exam and applying to medical school. After four years of medical school, you must endure a year as an intern before being promoted to a resident. 
Depending on what specialty one has selected, residency can span from three to seven years. Fellowships follow after but are typically an optional course that provides extra training. 
Yes, there are a lot of necessary steps to take in order to set foot into the medical world, but somehow, the years of foreplay could never compare to being a full-fledged physician; and you knew this all too well.
You are a pediatric oncologist and your job was to diagnose and provide treatment to children and teenagers who had cancer. You specialized in hematology; the treatment of blood disorders.
You were the head of pediatric oncology in a Manhattan hospital. You dealt with a lot of patients, but a two-year-old little girl named Sarah was secretly your favorite. 
Despite being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia, Sarah’s positivity and playful personality never faltered.
Even if she didn’t understand the circumstances because of her young age, you knew she was suffering. Regardless of it all, every session you had with her was endearing.
You met with the child once a week to administer chemotherapy. Her enthusiasm never failed to have you awestruck. Most of your patients were exhausted from the treatments, but not Sarah. 
She was a hyper child who would attempt to sing Frozen songs, performing as you tried to fight a smile from taking over your features. She had a stuffed Olaf doll that she brought with her to every visit and it was heartwarming to see her hug the doll close to her chest. 
Sarah would even bring you drawings every week that you would keep in your locker. You’d admire each and every one of the drawings, even if you couldn’t really tell what they were.
You’d grown fond of the little girl in the past two months you had been treating her. You were also relatively close to her parents, who were probably the kindest people you’ve ever encountered. It made sense that Sarah was the ball of sunshine she was, she obviously got it from her parents.
Most times, parents were on edge and extremely short-tempered. If parents saw you often, that meant that their child was diagnosed with some form of cancer. Understandably, they would be rather hostile whilst interacting with you, but you never took their behavior personally. 
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If you were in their shoes, you were positive that you wouldn’t be very friendly either. 
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You had grown fond of the beaming child. You were aware that growing emotionally attached to patients was unprofessional, but how could you not? 
You adored children and for that very reason, you had chosen a specialty that allowed you to help kids as much as medicine would allow. You always had a soft spot for kids and you found joy in helping them as best as you possibly could.
Sarah had a very good chance at pulling through. With consistent treatment and her young age, her survival rate was around 68%. Those were considerably good odds in these circumstances. Not to mention, the chemotherapy seemed to be paying off. At the rate she was improving, she was predicted to be out of the woods soon enough.
However, the child had developed a bacterial infection. Since she had been receiving chemotherapy, the treatment had damaged her white blood cells which are responsible for fighting off infections. 
All you could do was provide antibiotics to try and fight off the infection. You had monitored her for some time in hopes of seeing any sign of improvement, but unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Her immune system was extremely vulnerable and there wasn’t any way to reverse the damage. 
Your heart was torn to pieces when you delivered the news to her parents. They broke down in the hallway outside of Sarah’s room as you informed them of Sarah’s rapidly shortened life expectancy. It was only a matter of time before the young child would pass and honestly, this was what you hated most about your job.
You hated that you couldn’t help every single patient. You hated how cruel the world could be to take away an innocent child from their loving parents. 
You allowed her parents to spend time by her bedside. They laid on either side of her bed, clinging onto her for dear life. What broke you the most was the paleness of Sarah’s once glowing skin. Her smile was still present but didn’t quite reach her eyes like it used to. 
Her parents quietly sang ‘Love Is An Open Door’ to Sarah. You felt your heart clench in a bittersweet way as you silently watched. Normally, Sarah wouldn’t hesitate to join in, but her lack of breath prevented her from doing so. All she could do was close her eyes and lightly nod her head along to their voices. 
Sarah passed hours later and it was an extremely somber experience. Hearing the cries of parents who lost their children wasn’t easy and it never would be. Your job had its pros and cons, and this was the biggest negative.
You fought back your own tears as you exited the room, giving the two mourning parents some privacy after you recorded Sarah’s time of death. You found the nearest restroom and allowed the tears to fall down your face. 
A pure soul had been ripped away from the world, never having the chance to experience the great things life had to offer.
•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•
4 Hours Later
You trudged into your loft, immediately taking off your coat and hanging it up before tossing your keys on the small table by the front door. 
Your girlfriend, Natasha, had heard your arrival and quickly exited the bedroom to greet you, a wide smile on her face. However, her smile fell when she noticed your defeated state. 
Your shoulders were slumped as you slouched slightly and your eyes were dripping with sadness. 
“Honey? What’s wrong?” Natasha approached you while you stood frozen in front of the door. Her hands came up to cup your cheeks as she stared at you in concern, her eyes scanning over your features. 
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“I lost Sarah.” 
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Natasha’s eyes widened and her heart sunk at your words. She was aware of how much you adored the two-year-old. Once a week, you would rave about the child and how adorable she was at the dinner table. You would go on and on about how Sarah would sing to you, draw pictures for you, and bring along stickers to place onto your coat.
The redhead loved how happy you looked whenever you spoke about any of your patients, but most especially Sarah. It brought Natasha some joy of her own to see you speak animatedly about Sarah; your happiness was her happiness. 
So, the news hurt her almost as much as it hurt her. She knew how much you loved Sarah, despite never saying it straight out.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I know how much you cared about her. Are you okay?” Natasha’s voice was oozing with sympathy. You couldn’t help but feel irritated by her question. 
You tore her hands off of your cheeks and walked past her and into the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water as the redhead watched you intently. 
“Am I okay? I’m fine! It’s not like I lost an extremely young patient today or anything. What kind of stupid fucking question is that, Natasha?” You took a sip of cold water to try and calm yourself damn, but your attempt was futile. 
The redhead made her way into the kitchen, standing on the opposite side of the island as you took another sip of water, eyes burning a hole into her head over the rim of the glass. 
“I know, that was a dumb question. I just want to help you, Y/N/N.” Natasha remained calm and patient as she spoke to you. She was no stranger to the loss of a person she desperately tried to save and knew all too well the sadness and anger that accompanied the tragedy. She was an Avenger, after all. 
“I don’t want your help and I don’t need you!” You slammed your cup onto the counter as you raised your voice. Honestly, it was surprising that you hadn’t shattered the glass with the amount of force you exerted. 
Natasha felt an ache in her chest as you yelled at her. She knew that you weren’t in the right state of mind and didn’t take it personally, but that didn’t make your words hurt any less. 
“You save entire cities and I can’t even save a single fucking person!” You were turning red at this point, tears of frustration streaming down your face. The redhead hated seeing you cry, but she knew better than to approach you at this moment. 
“Babe, you save so many pe-” Natasha’s tried to speak, but you quickly interjected. 
“If you’re going to try and spew some philosophical bullshit to me right now, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear another god damn word from your mouth.”
The redhead looked down defeatedly. She had never seen you so upset, let alone direct your frustrations towards her. Her eyes fell down to the marble counter between you both before looking up at you. You were breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. 
Without another word, Natasha retreated back to the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind her. You watched her until she was out of your view and let out a sigh. Your hands gripped the edges of the kitchen island, supporting your weight as you shut your eyes. 
You brought a hand up to your face and pinched the bridge of your nose. After a few minutes, you made your way into the living room, chucking off your shoes before collapsing onto the couch. You didn’t feel like interacting with Natasha anymore tonight, knowing that you most likely wouldn’t be able to control your temper. 
You were just so fed up with the painful losses you had to endure from your profession. 
You knew that being a doctor was more dark clouds and thunder, than sunshine and rainbows, but you just wished that for once, the weather forecast would work in your favor. 
The emotional day had finally caught up to you. Your body relaxed as you sunk further into the couch, eyes fluttering shut as you succumbed to a much-needed slumber. 
Unbeknownst to you, Natasha was still awake. She laid flat on her back and stared up at the ceiling in thought. She was mad at you, as much as she didn’t want to be. Natasha had gone through the same thing and never lost her cool with you as you had with her. 
The redhead calmed down slowly, turning on her side and facing the empty space beside her which you normally occupied. She reached one arm out, her skin colliding with cool sheets, already missing the warmth of your body. 
Natasha hated sleeping without you by her side, She didn’t feel complete when you weren’t steadily sleeping next to her, your arms wrapped around her body. However, she hoped that things would improve in the morning.
And with that thought in mind, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep, clutching the sheets firmly in her hand. 
•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•
 The Next Morning
You awoke to a blinding light, the morning sun shining through the windows and landing directly onto your face. You let out a groan and slowly sat up, stretching out your limbs with a groan. The couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, you were aching everywhere. 
You sat there for a moment as the events of the day before caught up to you. Not only had you lost Sarah, but you upset Natasha. You immediately felt guilty as you recalled the harsh words you spat at her in a fit of rage. You felt like a complete asshole, and rightfully so. 
You quickly stood up and entered the kitchen, retrieving some bacon from the freezer and eggs from the refrigerator. You grabbed two separate pans and washed your hands, making sure to get the coffee pot running before you began cooking.
Your girlfriend absolutely loved bacon, eggs, and coffee. She described the combinations as a ‘party in her mouth.’ So, this was going to be an ‘i’m sorry for being a bitch last night’ apology breakfast. 
You got started on the meal and by the time you finished up and had the stove off, Natasha stalked out of the bedroom slowly. She eyed you carefully as she approached, you sent a soft smile her way.
“You made breakfast,” Natasha spoke and you shyly nodded your head. You moved away from the stove and rounded the counter. The redhead stood in her spot as you wrapped your arms around her waist, her arms reflexively going around your neck.
“I was an asshole last night.” You stated and your girlfriend nodded her head in agreement. “Yeah, you were a total pain in the ass, the absolute worst.” You rolled your eyes at Natasha’s teasing tone.
“I’m sorry for how I behaved. I was just so upset about… Sarah. I didn’t mean to take it out on you and I can’t even begin to tell you how bad I feel for yelling at you when all you wanted to do was help me.”
Your voice was full of emotion, your eyes boring into her emerald irises as you poured your heart into every syllable you uttered. Natasha smile gently at you, her fingers lightly tugging on the baby hairs on the nape of your neck. 
“It’s okay. I know you weren’t mad at me.” You let out a sigh of relief as the redhead stared at you softly. She let out a small chuckle at your dramatics before continuing.
‘I understand how you feel. The team and I, we try our very best to save as many civilians as we can, but sometimes it’s completely out of our control. It’s the exact same situation.” 
One of Natasha’s hands found its way to your cheek, gently cupping the skin as you leaned into her touch. You were listening intently to her every word, mesmerized by the calming rasp of her voice.
“Don’t dwell on what you couldn’t do, but give yourself some credit for everything you did do. I may not know what happened, but what I do know is that you tried everything you could, no?”
Natasha questioned you and you nodded your head. “I gave her antibiotics to fight the infection, but it was too severe.” The redhead rubbed her thumb against your cheek. 
“All that matters is that you did your best and that’s all anyone could ever ask for.” Natasha ended her little speech as she placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. You couldn’t help but smile, an overwhelming feeling of happiness taking over. 
“Thank you. I love you and your… what was it?” You furrowed your eyebrows in concentration before your face lit up. Natasha raised an eyebrow at you. “Philosophical bullshit. That was the words.” The Russian let out a laugh, shaking her head from side to side at your antics. 
“Seriously though, I’m so grateful for you. You’re so amazing to me even when I don’t deserve it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Natasha’s laughter died down as your tone turned serious. Your eyes were so full of love and adoration as you stared into her eyes deeply. 
“Well, let’s hope you never have to find out.” Natasha smiled once more and you couldn’t resist pressing your lips against her plump ones. Your mouths moved in tandem at a slow pace, enjoying the rawness and love that accompanied each movement. 
You broke the kiss when air became an issue. Nat’s eyes fluttered open as you wiggled your eyebrows at her playfully. 
“So, are you ready for some breakfast? Maybe after we eat, we can go on top of a rooftop and I’ll serenade you with a rendition of ‘Sorry’ by Justin Bieber.”
Natasha’s head flew back as she laughed uncontrollably at your words. “What? Do you not like the Biebs? If you want, I could play ‘Baby Come Back’ by Player from a boombox and hold it over my head, instead.” The redhead continued to laugh profusely and you soon joined in. Your arms tightened around her waist as your giggles subsided. 
“I think cuddling on the couch and watching the Kardashians eating ridiculously large bowls of salad will do.” You nodded your head in agreement but didn’t make a move to release Natasha from your grip. She didn’t let go either. 
The two of you just stood there, basking in each other’s embrace, a comfortable silence falling over you both. 
Natasha never failed to say the right things to pull you out of the dark abyss that was your mind. She was completely right, as always. There would always be bad days, patients who were progressing one day and deteriorating the next. 
However, there were also good days, and you shouldn’t allow the bad to overshadow all the good you’ve done. Like with Natasha, she wasn’t always the superhero she is today. She took her dark past and turned it into a bright future. 
Nat didn’t let her bad days define her and neither should you.
Of course, you would always remember every single patient you had lost, but now, you would take the pain and turn it into motivation; motivation to improve yourself, not only in your professional life but in your personal life as well. 
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You would do right by the ones you’ve lost and the one who stuck by your side; Natasha Romanoff. 
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
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mildkleptomaniac · 3 years
Text
no money, some problems  — rafe cameron x pogue!reader
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭:  “ Pouge!Reader having a hard time with bills and she’s overworking herself and Rafe notices but she won’t accept his help ”
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions wards treatment to rafe, gets a bit ✨frisky✨ towards the end 
𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: part of me feels like i did the prompt, but not at the same time??? so i hope you enjoy it! it’s more of rafe being a sweetie towards Y/N and suggesting things to help her and she kept denying them. 
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“Y/N, are you okay?” Her boyfriend, Rafe, asked. He found her lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and watching the fan go through its motion. The fan never got a break, it kept working and working--similar to her. Y/N never caught a break and it was exhausting. Bills surrounded her on her bed, ripped envelope, and vibrant red ink. She wasn’t in the mood to discuss it with her boyfriend, her boyfriend that came from a wealthy family and didn’t particularly worry about paying a phone bill, rent, and utilities. If Y/N wanted nice things, she would have to pay for it. 
Once she turned sixteen, this process started. Her parents said if she wanted nice things, she would have to pay for them herself, which she understood. But as time went by, her parents started asking for rent for the house. She knew they were barely skimming by to afford the house payments and utilities--yet she found it unfair that she had to juggle everything to help support them. These were supposed to be her years to not worry about money and fending for herself. 
Ever since that day, she never got a break. And Rafe wouldn’t understand what it was like to fend for himself. In his life, money grew on trees and he never blinked an eye wondering if a paycheck will cover the bills. She was positive he never even had to look for a paycheck, he never worked. 
“I’m fine,” she said, leaning up off the bed and collecting all the bills. If her paycheck is late again, she would be in deep trouble. She tossed them on her nightstand. 
“You don’t sound fine, babe.” He approached her; his eyes curious to the papers she was collecting. “What’re those?”
Y/N scoffed, the irony of the situation of him asking about them. “They’re bills, ones that are late and hopefully my next paycheck will cover.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “And my car just took the shitter. So, either I see if it is worth fixing it or just...invest in a bike? Like a bicycle. But now that I’m out of a car, I can’t deliver food.” She vented, clearly upset at this point in her life. 
Rafe hated seeing her like this. He could tell that she had been exhausted. He barely has time to hang out with her now, she’s either bouncing between each job or trying to catch up on sleep. “Baby, let me pay these bills for you.” He offered, sitting down beside her, and placing his hand on her thigh, giving it a squeeze. 
“No, I can’t let you do that. I wouldn’t be able to catch up to pay you back.” Y/N gave him a sad smile. 
“Mhm, Y/N, you know you make up for that in so many other ways.” He said, pressing a kiss into her cheek before moving his hands to her shoulders, lightly massaging them. She melts into her touch, but yet she shakes her head. “What if I drive you around or lend you my car? The business is mostly at home.” Rafe suggested. 
She closed her eyes at his touch and how his breath felt against her skin. Rafe knew what he was doing, he always managed to be a great distraction--and he was good at it. “Rafe, I can’t drive your car. Someone might think I stole it.” She joked, attempting to lighten the mood. 
“No, no, no one would think that. Stop coming up with excuses, baby.” He continued to massage her shoulders. 
“I can’t accept that, Rafe. You know that,” Y/N sighed, “Some people are different--I want to work for the things I deserve. I didn’t grow up like you. I don’t know what it is like to have a bunch of money to my name. I understand that you’re trying to be nice and help me out. But I don’t need it. I’m eighteen now and I’m trying to save money to move out. If I move out--I don’t know, maybe it would be cheaper.” She vented, the relaxation she had before started to diminish, and she began working herself up. “Parents suck,” she huffed. 
Rafe laughed, nodding his head. “Yea, trust me—I know.” 
At his comment, Y/N winced. She knew Rafe had it rough between Ward treating him like shit and casting him as the black sheep and then Rose who never really viewed him as her own kid. Rose was prouder of Sarah and Wheezie, never once blinked an eye at him or praised him for his accomplishments. 
Ever since meeting Y/N, he cleaned his act up. She told him she wouldn’t tolerate any of his shenanigans. Y/N would help him through it, but at the end of the day he wanted her more than anything else. And it worked. He’d been sober for a few months now thanks to her. 
As for Y/N, she didn’t want to accept his help, as he had already done so much for her. He paid for all her meals, all her drinks, he took her out on the boat for nice days, got her the best gifts for her birthday and holidays. Any time she would see something while window shopping, he would surprise her with it. Hell, even one time he took her car to get an oil change. 
He did more for her than she could ever thank him for. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it seem like you don’t have any struggles. I just don’t want your help. Let me struggle, it builds character.” She apologized. 
Rafe chewed on the bottom of his lip and moved her hair off her shoulder, placing several more kisses. “How about we move in together? I’ll pay rent for the first few months while you get yourself on your feet and then I’ll never spoil you ever again. Never. I won’t even think about it.” He suggested, a smile creeping on his face as he looked at her girlfriend. 
“You’ve got to be kidding with me, Rafe. I--”
“I wasn’t kidding. We should move in together. We can get a place affordable for both of us, split it. We won’t be under our parent’s roofs and... we can be together. You can still work, pay for your own bills and car stuff--but at least you’d have a better place and the rent wouldn’t be as bad.” He tried to convince her. 
It did sound like a wonderful idea. 
“You’re overworking yourself, baby. Just...relax with me on some nights. You can even save a bit of money for college or whatever you aspire to do in life. I’ll support you. We can just be in our own worlds and not bother anyone else. You and I against the world--no one else.” Rafe continued, his eyes never leaving hers. 
“You’re pretty convincing, Rafe.” She sighed, more thoughts of them living together crawled into her mind. He was right about rent, especially if it was a smaller place than what her parents have now. There wouldn’t be as many issues to fix around. If she had a job, it would cover split rent. Groceries would be split. 
Y/N turned to face her boyfriend, pushing him down on the bed and straddling his lap. “You got yourself a deal, babe.” She smiled at him, leaning down to kiss him. “Now, how about you continue to distract me before my next shift?” 
“Anything for you, babe.” He whispered against her lips as his hands trailed down to her waist. Before he continued any further, he stopped for a brief moment. “But you’re telling me you won’t let me pay your bills, but moving in together is fine?”
“Rafe, don’t ruin the mood or else--” He didn’t let her finish his statement before he flipped her over, now hovering on top of her. 
“How about I help you in a different way?”
taglist: @lemur46 @taylathornton @webmeupspiderdaddy @urdadsapussy
( i forgot if someone specifcally just wanted jj or rafe, pls let me know if i mixed this up!)
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muffindaddystyles · 3 years
Note
22! angst to fluff pls love ur works <333
THANK YOU SM EVERYONE FOR REQUESTING HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT LOVE YAA !!!!!!
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Harry hates one thing, most. That’s silence. Still, Y/N gave him a silent treatment knowing how much it drives him insane. It pinches him in throat in the most sickening way and makes him vicious about their fights more.
She has her reason too. Anyone would have a right to be mad if their boyfriend will be seen going to bars with models and cherry on top it turns out be his ex.
In his defence it was a PR stunt to keep the quietude about his dating life since Y/N and Harry’s relationship is private for Y/N's sake.
“You could’ve atleast told me, tha' you were going with her?” Was all she said. Confusion and insecurities and the images of her glued all over him mocked her in the most brutal way before she was distancing herself away from him.
He did anything in his will to bring her back to him, apologised and tried to shower her in kisses, making her brekkie and staying at home but she kept on pushing him away.
The problem wasn’t him. It was her. She blamed herself. He’s been nothing but so gentle with her and she’s towing him away like a used tissue.
Harry knew Y/N anxiety was always at bay and he didn’t want to worsen it by going public but it was biting him in arse as questions upon questions were thrown at him for past three years.
It's Saturday morning and she appears from the guest room after ages, the sight for sore eyes.
Harry’s eyes that were staring the tiled wall of kitchen flitters towards her and his gaze turns soft when he sees her drowned into one of his lilac sweater (she missed him so much and felt awfully hollow and cold sleeping in the bed that doesn’t smell like him at all; so she did what could comfort her best).
She looks so small and frail as if the demons of the lone bedroom swallowed her whole.
Heavy eyebags digging away the glimmer in her eyes, her cheekbones prominent and the pinkness of her eyes visible telling how much she’s been crying.
He turns expressionless on purpose when she meets his gaze and isn’t what she wanted? Some space to figure her thoughts out – but that polite gesture turned into a silent treatment from Harry’s side this time.
She knows that he’s more of a meanie in this game than her because he’s the one that never let things bottle up, his eyes gives away everything but right now they’re just murk of anger.
“Can we talk?” Her voice dim from crying for days and Harry elevates his shoulders carelessly, wrinkles on his forehead and his frown deep as he shrugs, “Dunno. Realized t’pick y'puppet back, your eminence?” His taunt hits her right in chest and she blinks the moisture in her eyes away looking down at her fingers fumbling with the frays of the hem.
He’s cloaked with sadness and dejection from her misbehaviour.
He’s the most petty when she’s the reason of his agony.
“I hate how much I care about, you.” He spats. Knuckles turning white from his grip around the marble counter and Y/N listens —— because good, she should now she’s out of her own bubble.
“How much I’ve told y'that no-one ‘n damn nothin’ could come between us —-" His tone dripping with malevolence and bitterness it tears Y/N up.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Harry!!” She almost shouts. Shaky fingers contemplating to rip at her hair and her tears now shines at her cheeks, Harry elicits a flak taunting chuckle.
“See you’ve never trusted our love. Can y'fo’ once get outta y’head?” His own eyes glossy and his cheeks flushing rosy from the impact.
“You don’t want to bear what comes with lovin' me, don’t want me to cover up tha’ fo' you and you couldn’t spend a single day without doubting us,” He licks the salt away from his lips and his heart pauses a slow beat when Y/N's lips wobbles -- incoherent blabbers slipping past her swollen lips.
“What d'ya want then!?” The loud snap of his abrasive voice hitches her breath and she sobs out sorrowfully, “I just want you.” He sighs in defeat. Not really pondering over the severity and nuance of his words before speaking.
“Falling in love with you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” That was the last blow for Y/N. She gasps out a cry. Pupils bursting wide and her insides falls sick as the itching goosebumps pin-prickles at her skin.
Everything gets struck for a moment. Harry’s expression matches her as he realizes what damage he has caused and to confirm it a blaring thunder roars through the sky.
Y/N gulps the achy feeling in her throat and just nods silently retreating back through the steps that led her to him and he’s rushing behind her in fret only to get the door to be slammed on his face.
He curses himself. Hitting his forehead into the door frame, that was the lowest and most cheapest fucking insult you could’ve managed to throw her way you dick.
“Y/N. I’m —-...fuck.” He knows that a sorry will be too humiliating for the hurt he has caused her.
While, Y/N sits on the floor at the most corner of the room with her knees bunched up to her chest. His hurtful words rings in her skull and she stuffs her face into her elbow sobbing into it watching the bear Harry won for her in a carnival with doleful blurry vision.
Through his whole life the only decision he regrets is loving me – out of every stupid thing he thinks our love is the most stupidest, what if it's the end? How I'll live without him? It’s impossible.
Forgetting hurts the more than grieving and she’d never be able to do that.
Her toes numbs to tingles and she feels herself drowning somewhere into pitch darkness, her heart lurching ruefully at each knock Harry taps on the door and her stomach burns with acidy sting lungs knotting tight making her gasp for oxygen.
Her panic attack crawling up her body in beasty blood curling gashes and she attempts to shout a plead for Harry but white dots appears at the back of her eyelids tripping her into mountain of floor pillows.
It knocks the vase out and it shatters beside her head, “Y/N! Baby!” Harry pounds at the door and when doesn’t hear a response from her side he’s kicking it open harshly.
The lock unhinges as he rushes inside worrisome and his world shatters when he sees his lovie struggling for a breather, her petite body trembling and shaking with each gasp that bolts her throat more and she nearly begs for him to do something.
He’s falling beside her on the floor and embracing her pliant figure in his gentle hold, “’S okay. ‘S okay.” He croaks out wiping his own tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.
He rubs her tummy in soothing circles then trails his clammy palm up her chest and maintains an eye contact with her panicked ones. Her breath shudders when she tries to calm it back and her nails digs into his skin in doing so.
“Doing s'good f'me darling, yeah —-..yeah.” He bobs his head vigorously and assuring-ly stroking his thumb against her soaky cheek tenderly in pacifying motions.
Her breath lulls slowly back into a pattern and she jerks a little while inhaling a nourishing puff, “Take a breath honey, yes princess just like that.” He whispers speckling a tiny kiss to her forehead.
He pushes her up with a firm hand on her hip and into his lap murmuring sweet dottings into her ear, “Squeeze me hand if you could hear me baby.” He just wants to be reassured she’s doing okay –- his face crooked against her pulse point into her throat and she does so giving a weak squish to his fingers.
“Jeez.” He bumps her chin up with his head and touches their temples together – eskimo kissing her nose and her eyelids flutter when he pecks her mouth ever so lightly.
His insides are shaking anxiously from fright and he again hugs her warmly to feel her.
“’M sorry. So sorry lovie' didn’t –-.. didn’t mean to hurt ya, swear moppet was just upset tha’ y’were being so far from me. I love you so much precious ....." He presses his wet lips to the side of her head and buries his nose in her hair -- arms tightening around her waist.
".... and I don’t think lovin' you is stupid. Thinks tha’ ‘s the only best thing I’ve ever done in me life ... could never love anyone like that.” He mumbles cradling her sweaty face into his palms and patches soft kisses all over her face.
She hiccups a whimper. Nose quivering and lip wobbling — letting him kiss her pout and fists the flimsy fabric of his hoodie in her teensy hands compared to him, “’M sorry too. Sorry f'acting childish and not talking to you about it. I’m just scared I’m getting too obsessed with the idea of us and it’ll ruin us pathetically.”
“Wait. Wait woah baby ...” He grabs her gently with shoulders and pulls her back from him, “’S tha’ why you were trying to live off all by yourself?” He asks politely a bit glum she was enduring all of that herself.
When she tries to hide her face out of timidness he hooks his thumb under her chin and highers it up, “Y/N.”
“Thinks you love me so intensely?” She sniffs nodding in agreement and he smiles sweetly.
“Then fuckin' do it silly. Why d'ya think I wouldn’t want that lovlin? I want to be so loved by my sweet baby.” He almost falls back when she slings her arms around the nape of his neck and brings him down for a cuddle.
“I love you so much my Angel.” He murmurs with his face squished into her neck and fills his lungs with her warm vanillay scent.
She rubs her cheek up and down his chest like an affectionate starved puppy then stops where his heart lays under the trap of bones and kisses it three times.
Her love language. When she isn’t able to utter something she’s always appreciating him with loving actions and at the moment she did the same to exchange the sentiment.
Three kisses to heart means, “I love you so much it aches me.” He immediately catches it and pecks her nose.
"I know bub, I know."
365 notes · View notes
flowerwrites06 · 3 years
Text
thinning thread — jjk
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Plot: In the heat of a tumultuous rough path in their marriage, Jungkook is handed their last resort. 
Pairing(s): Jungkook x Writer!OC (Name: Belle)
Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+
Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series
Word Count: 2k+
Genre: Marriage!AU 
Tags & Warnings: angst, rough marriage, divorce, explicit smut 
Authors Note: sorry the reposting has been a little slow, everyone! the end of feb was a little rough but I’ll try to get the fics out as soon as I can. 
ALSO requests are currently open and they’ll close on Sunday! So be sure to fill the request form HERE
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Days turned to, weeks turned to months the blanket of home they knitted together now stripped to nothing but a pathetic string. Both of them dangling and swinging on it pretending that the world around them didn’t just crumble beneath their feet. It started with regular fights over the lack of time they spent together; the usual reason most couple would go through a lovers’ spat. Then fights were followed with silent treatments lasting days on end to point where one of them would be out of the house completely.
Paranoia kicked in soon afterwards as Jungkook saw Belle chatting with one of her clients leading to yet another exhausting argument about her supposedly cheating. Jungkook left home that night for three days until he came back without saying a word. Belle spent more nights in her office using a glass of wine to loosen herself up and get some sleep while writing herself to near madness.
Her publishing company even asked her if she was okay after her latest manuscript submission stating it had a lot more disturbing themes than her usual works. Belle simply stated that things changed. Happiness wasn’t a fucking commonality anymore and the themes she wrote now seemed more realistic.
Jungkook spent hours in the gym, punching bags until the skin on his knuckles ripped apart breaking himself down enough to get some damn shut eye. He was getting a lot more complaints from his producers these days saying he had too much of a short fuse nowadays. Which, to prove their point, he ended up snapping and earned himself a break away from sending in anymore songs until he got himself sorted.
Swinging and swinging on this thinning thread, it all dwindled down into one night.
Instead of going back to her office for the night, Belle paid a visit to her lawyer about a set of paperwork that she needed organized. Thankfully the name she made for herself allowed the time to finish all these documents were significantly lessened. The next day after making her request she was able to have the papers in her hand.
-
As she walked into the apartment the woman realized how long it had been since she walked into their home at this hour. The twilight sky looked like a painting through the large panned windows, creating a beautiful silhouette of the city buildings. For a moment Belle could have smiled until she heard chain clanging and something thudding.
Jungkook began his attack on what could have been his fifteenth punching bag this fortnight, not caring about the world around him.
She sighed, placing her bag on the kitchen counter before stomping over to the man with her brown envelope in hand. “I need to talk to you.” Belle announced trying to sound louder than the punching bag thudding and clanging.
The man gave the bag one harsh punch before letting out a deep sigh, a droplet of sweat . “I’m not in the mood.” He mumbled immediately causing a rush of fury in her belly.
Belle tightened her jaw her whole body urging to just throw the papers on the floor until he sees it. But she took a long, drawling breath as she walked closer to the male who proceeded to assault his punching bag. “This is important.” She spoke firmly. “Just listen to me for one second.” She pursed her lips when Jungkook finally held onto the punching bag to pause for a moment.
Though the male still glared at her a little making her heart drop.
She remembered when he used to look at her with eyes soft and sparkling. Now all she felt was hate radiating from him. Belle handed the envelope over which he accepted, ripping off the top carelessly before pulling out the papers.
Jungkooks’ brows furrowed when he skimmed through the contents of the document. “What the hell is this?” He fumed.
“Divorce papers.” Belle replied simply.
He tightened his jaw still staring at the words on the pages instead of looking up at her. “I need a pen.” Jungkook muttered quietly before walking past her towards the living room.
Chest clenched tightly but she let out a quick breath before following him along watching him walk towards the sitting area.
Belle’s brows furrowed when she noticed they were walking away from the staircase to the study to get a pen. Instead she saw Jungkook pad towards the couches, to the fireplace sitting in front of them still running to keep the place warm and cozy. Even though the atmosphere was anything but that.
It didn’t take long until finally she saw Jungkook tossing the papers and empty envelope right into the fire. Stammering she watched the flames rise higher before dissipating the documents, their names burned away achingly slow. “Jungkook.” She tried to move past him to grab the remnants of the papers but both her arms were grabbed to keep her in place.
“Are you trying to hurt me now? Huh?” Jungkooks’ eyes burned into hers, hair matted to his glistening forehead.
Belle yanked out of his grasp which made his move his arms but he still stood dangerously close. “Don’t try to make me look like the bad guy here.” She seethed. “We’ve tried to fix this but it’s not working. You didn’t even want to talk to me when I walked into the room.”
“Because I thought you were going to start up another fight which clearly you were.” He gestured harshly towards the fireplace.
“Do you have a better idea?” Her vision grew blurry. “Because I don’t want to wake up another morning feeling like you hate me.” Belle hadn’t spoken about her feelings to the man in a long time. So long that expressing it now made her feel utterly exposed.
“You really think I hate you?” Jungkook spoke through gritted teeth. “You really think I’d still be in this apartment because I fucking hated you?”
“When was the last time you told me you loved me then? Hm?” Tears streamed down her face, mascara smudging at the corners of her eyes a little. “When was the last time we actually spoke to each other without yelling or crying?” Belle sobbed out.
“That doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.” He protested, his eyes glistening even in the dimmed warm light. “How did you even think I would sign those papers, huh?”
Belle shrugged weakly, smiling a little sadly. “Maybe you’d be happier without me.”
His eyes twitched as he pursed his lips together tightly. “Would you be happier without me?”
Her heart felt tired at this point tightening around itself as if trying to push out all the hurt or keep it all in. Happiness wasn’t a commonality for sure. But would it be any better if she couldn’t see him altogether? Spending years thinking of what could have happened if they just—kept holding onto that thread?
Without uttering a single word, Belle merely shook her head. In a second she was reminded at how well Jungkook still was at knowing what she needed right at that moment.
A small tear escaping down his cheek, Jungkook grabbed her by her cheeks and pressed a warm kiss against her lips. He could taste a saltiness on her dampened lips before his hands trailed down, wrapping them around her waist to cancel out any distance between them. He was fucking done being so far away from his baby, unable to touch her because they were too stubborn to say sorry. With a swift motion he picked her up and impatiently pressed her down against the fluffy rug.
Belle pulled at her scarf which was quickly pushed away and her cardigan lay as a blanket underneath. Fingers hooked on the hem of his cold T-shirt before pulling it over his head and discarding no one cared where. She felt his nails firmly graze up her thigh, hooking onto her panties and pulling it down only one of her thighs roughly. The thin piece of clothing dangling on her left ankle as Jungkook devoured her lips not wanting to unlock their tongues dancing.
His bulging shorts rubbed against her bare core making her moan against his lips. Jungkooks’ still wrapped hand pulled at her hair to press her further down on the floor. He watched her mouth part, small gasp passing through as his hips rubbed against her pooling core. “Look at me.” He spoke in a raspy voice, lust blown and glossy eyes piercing into her. “I want you to look at me.” He whispered, forehead pressing together as he carelessly pushed down his shorts to let his desperate cock free.
Belle felt his thick, wet tip rub up and down her sleek heat, walls already clenching to a get an aching taste of him inside her again. “Please—” A choked scream broke out of her when the man slammed into her. Her pussy swallowed up every inch of his cock, aching a little after being long-deprived from the stretch. She kept her gaze did not waiver however watching him contort his face in pleasure.
Jungkook could barely hear himself think after feeling his whole member hugged by that familiar heat. So deliciously tight and warm, he could stay like this forever if he could. “Fuck I missed you.” He whispered, hot breath hitting her face before he kissed her again, sighing in relief as he began thrusting into her. Every snap of his hips hit hard and deep wanting to make his movements embedded in their minds so they forget just how fucking good they felt together.
She grabbed onto his shoulders for dear life, legs spread out welcomingly for him to destroy her desperate heat. All her long hibernated nerves now jolted awake by the beautiful friction between them, electrifying her body.
He pulled apart the front of her dress, a few buttons flying off but Belle couldn’t care less. Neither of them could. This was the closest they had been in months. Nothing was going to stop them from spewing out all their bottled frustrations.
Belle felt his hot mouth press wet kisses on the curve of her breast, teeth grazing against the tender skin making her smile in bliss. Fingers gripped at the roots of his slightly damp hair reaching down to kiss his head. A gasp caught in her throat when he thrusted into her faster pushing to the limits of her release but she pushed him away.
“What’s wrong?” He breathed out staring at her confused but he quickly saw what she wanted.
Belle pushed on his chest to make him lie on his back before straddling him, the panties on her ankle slid away. She raised herself over his erect cock and slowly let her core devour him again causing a small groan under Jungkooks’ throat. His hands instinctively moved under the skirt of her dress, squeezing her bottom. Still her eyes fixated on him as her hips swayed, feeling his tip rub against her sweet spot making her legs melt.
She moved her hands to where his were and Jungkook immediately intertwined their fingers together. Belle carefully unwrapped the black cloth around his knuckles as the male sat up now, wanting to feel her closer.
Pressing a small kisses on his healing wounds, she quickened her pace.
Jungkook grabbed the back of her neck and intoxicated her with another kiss while his other hand guided her hips.
Belle held onto his shoulders now and bounced on his cock, the sheer pressure against her sweet spot could throw her over the edge in minutes. Arms wrapped around him as her teeth sunk into his skin, muffling her moans. Fingers ran through the hair on the back of his head, lips pressing messy kisses on his neck and cheek. “I love you.” She whispered in his ear.
The male grabbed the side of her neck again forcing her to meet his gaze. Thumb brushed the corner of her teary eyes, mascara smudging across her temple on his finger pad. Lips were barely hovering one another as Belle slowed her thrusts. “I love you too.” He sighed out the words, grabbing bits of her hair before pressing on her warm lips. “I love you so much.” His latter words were mumbled but Belle still heard them.
A small sob shook through her seeing that warmth again. One she hadn’t seen it in so long that it almost felt like dream but Jungkooks’ hands on her skin reminded her it wasn’t. This was all real.
Jungkook turned her around to lay on her stomach, legs straightened out and spread so he could sneak in between. His cock slid in on its own at this point with how fucked out her heat was and he didn’t waste a single second longer to continue the pace. He leaned into her, kisses lain on her shoulder and sweet words whispered in her ear.
He intertwined his fingers with a hand and Belle hugged it closer, his sweaty torso pressed firmly against her back as the onslaught of thrusts began. It was slow but it dug deep into her core and steadily patterned. Her belly pressed against the floor made it all the more easier to rub against her sweet spot and create some friction against her clit.
“Don’t stop.” She whispered giving Jungkook even more determination to torture her core with incessant pounding. Warmth gathered around her leaking heat and pleasure tickled under the skin of her thighs causing her moans to shake.
Jungkook drilled into her, his own moans melting with her as his climax now flooded his entire form, his hand gripping onto hers like it was a part of him.
Belle cried out, trying to muffle the pitch by pressing her lips against the back of his hand. The heated release making her legs shake under him uncontrollably. Cheek pressed against the rug now, she bit down her bottom lip, tears still flowing out of her from the force of her orgasm mixed with everything else.
He filled her up with his release uttering the most delicious whimpers and moan before kissing her cheek softly. “You okay, baby?” Jungkook whispered, caressing her tear stain cheek.
Belle smiled quickly, nodding even though fresh tears still fell turning to face him properly. “I’m glad you didn’t sign it.” She giggled through her light sobs.
Jungkook chuckled leaning in and lay a soft kiss on her salty lips. “I’d never leave you, baby.”
“Promise?” She asked in a whisper.
“Promise.”
Another thread now knitted with the one they had been dangling on, making them that tiny bit stronger than they were yesterday.
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jasontoddssoulmate · 3 years
Text
I made an account for the sole purpose of this TUA fic concept
I’m a sucker for those “the characters read the books/watch the series” fics and I’ve read a little for TUA but I just had the idea:
The Hargreeves kids watching the two seasons but instead of just the seven of them, their birth mothers are brought in to watch as well
Maybe have the birth mothers family (if they have any) watch it with them 
This happens before everything. Before Ben’s death, before Five’s disappearance, before they even have their names. The kids, One through Seven, are brought in. Maybe when they’re old enough to get the gist of what’s going on, but before they’re 13.
These 6 young women are brought in (because I adore that Luther and Five being twins is canon in the comics and I love the mention of it), and they’re confused because maybe The Umbrella Academy isn’t internationally well known so the kids are familiar but they can’t put the name to the face. Not until they introduce themselves, anyways, and suddenly they’re face to face with the baby that they gave away years ago.
Maybe a few of them regret it, maybe they tried to forget it, maybe they spend so much of their time thinking about it or maybe they’re overjoyed that their baby seems to be doing so well. 
But their names. 
There’s just so much about them that doesn’t feel,,, so right? Maybe that’s not the word for it but they’re too polite sometimes, their casually cruel treatment towards their sister isn’t normal and the way that they simultaneously act entitled and inferior towards each other isn’t suppose to be as normal as the kids make it out to be. 
All in all, the women are confused and maybe a bit wary of their casual usage of powers among each other that’s normal to the siblings as much as it is abnormal to the birth mothers. 
But communication is easy since each child learned their own mother language as well as the language of their siblings birth place and then some which only seems to remind the women that holy shit these kids are technically rich because of their father
The Hargreeves though? They’re confused and wary as hell. They may not have been introduced as The Inaugural Class of The Umbrella Academy yet (or maybe they have considering what your timeline is) but they’ve been training for most of their life and the situation is baffling. Here are these random people that they’ve never met before (at least to their knowledge) and they’ve never had to go outside to interact with others, not really at least. 
So it makes sense that they go for polite but threatening. They maybe decide unanimously that the weaker willed ones like Four, Six and Seven are discreetly protected behind their older (in spirit) siblings, One, Two, Three and Five. 
But they’re no real threat, its obvious in the way that the Hispanic woman uses such an endearing term like “mijo/a” and the way that the Russian woman has an ever present smile on her face and such a sweet disposition that reminds them of their littlest sibling and hey her eyes look just like Seven 
So after a while, they’re more open to being relaxed. Not Five though, he’s always been just a little paranoid and being a 58-year-old in a 13-year-old body never had anything to do with it. So he’s got a harsh personality but the Danish woman doesn’t seem to be deterred. He kind of reminds her of her older twin brother who acts so harshly, but who she knows loves her so much.  
So here are 7 siblings and 6 women and maybe family that was there for the women when they needed them the most. And maybe the person(s) behind this decide to be kept anonymous but they oh so want the children to get to know what being cared for is like. Maybe these women get to know the consequences of their actions or the children learn that the one who birthed them had their reasons. And it’s no excuse but it’s also not their fault. Both parties should be able to feel what they feel because it’s a complicated and maybe painful situation. 
The children lose their respect for their father every episode. Even One, who they all know cherished the favoritism but it doesn’t get in the way of his horror when he finds out that he used to lock Four in the mausoleum, still does if the flashbacks are anything to go by because not Four, not the kindest and brightest of their siblings. 
And when they learn of Seven’s powers and the reason why they are never present, they are understandably upset. They feel rage and disbelief that she had such a crucial part of herself ripped away at such a young age, because they know that their powers are like another limb. They’re born with it and they grow up with it and they were able to live their life with it so they feel rage. Rage that Seven had been so violated. Rage that the Seven they know isn’t really the Seven she was suppose to grow up to be. The Seven they knew as toddlers was sweet towards them but had a mean protective streak a mile wide that could never be controlled, not even by their father. The Seven they know now is so meek and desperate for attention. The Russian woman looks the most devastated as she thinks of the baby girl she got to hold for only a few hours before she was whisked away by a rich old man who is turning out to be the monster that one often hears about in television. 
But the women? They watch as the children in front of them, maybe a little damaged and emotionally constipated but so obviously protective and caring for each other, grow to be the grow ups in the screen above them that grow up and grow apart after so much tragedy. 
They watch as seven eventually becomes five. 
How Luther is sent to isolation for years and he goes along with it in a bid to continue to please their father.
How Diego continues to rebel because he wasn’t able to growing up but also maybe because he wants to spite his father, no matter how much he protests that he could care less what his father thinks.
How Allison goes through a divorce and loses her parental rights to even see her daughter due to her dependence of her powers that leaves her devastated. 
How Klaus is an addict who desperately wishes to get rid of the ghosts that have followed him all his life. 
How Five disappears only a little while after their current timeline.
How Ben was brutally killed by his own powers, never getting to grow up and become his own person. 
How Vanya can’t seem to do anything but go through the motions of her life, maybe having a little hope that she’ll be seen this time around, but is quickly squashed from Diego’s disparaging comments and the casual dismissal of her from her living siblings. 
They watch all this, and feel sadness and rightful anger that their babies lead the life of ex-child superheroes. The life of abused children. The life of children who had only each other. 
But was it really enough? Was it enough to know that they loved each other but had a hard time showing it and owning up to it due to fear of their father? Due to the constant comparisons and the way Sir Reginald had them turn on each other. 
But they knew it was enough. They see it in how Diego waits for Klaus to drive him around even after he had expresses annoyance beforehand, in the joy on Allison’s face when she sees Klaus again after so long, in how Five makes sure to check up on Klaus after his kidnapping, on Luther’s face when he apologizes to Vanya after realizing his own misgivings, in Ben’s task of continuing to follow his brother around even when it pains him and in Klaus trying to comfort Luther after he finds the unopened correspondents. They see it in the support they show Vanya as she goes to check on Harlan.
It had to be enough to know that after all they went through, they still care for one another and at the end of the day, would protect one another just as they were as One through Seven. 
So they watch what would be the Hargreeve’s kids misadventures, they watch as they grow together and grow apart just to grow together again, much stronger than before. 
They express sadness and disbelief when they see where Five ends up, they get mad when Leonard throws Vanya’s pills away, they grieve when they learn that Ben is dead, they’re embarrassed but find it hilarious whenever Klaus cracks an inappropriate joke, they become protective when there’s allusion to Vanya having sex, and are rightfully ready to throw down with Leonard as they watch their littlest sibling get gaslit into believing her family hates her as he nitpicks all of her interactions with her family. 
But just as they express their feelings over what happens to their family, they feel an immense amount of exasperation towards their older selves because so much could be fixed if they only talked to each other. 
They watch and despair over the missed opportunity that is Leonard in the same house as them just as they find out what his role is in the apocalypse.
Four tears up as he watched Klaus and Dave’s reunion be undone after all the heartache. 
Seven cringes when Vanya dismisses Five’s claims that he had been stuck in an apocalyptic wasteland and suggests that he’s gone crazy after his stint with time travel. 
Three feels her heart drop to her stomach as the flashback shows what becomes the moment that she faces the hard truth that come with her use of her powers.
Five feels himself flush in embarrassment as he watched two version of himself in the future, one that looks not much older than he does currently, go through paradox psychosis. 
Six feels frustration and a fierce grief that leaves him confused because he’s still alive he’s not dead, but I don’t have much longer. 
One feels horror as he watches himself hurt his siblings one after the other with a sense of helplessness because this isn’t me, I wouldn’t do this but I already did, why would I hurt my siblings, I’m Number One I have to be the one who protects them- 
The women, on the other hand, see themselves in their children. 
The French woman sees how her daughter and granddaughter, it seems, both look like a carbon copy of herself and her own mother. 
The Danish woman sees herself and her twin brother in Luther and Five. Sees her own personality reflected in Luther and her brothers personality in Five. Sees how her twins care just as much for each other and their siblings as herself and her brother do each other.
The Hispanic woman sees Diego’s fierce sense of justice that leaves others in the dust, and sees herself as she fought to keep her boy but ultimately lost him just as Diego loses Eudora. She thinks to herself like mother like son and bitterly laughs to herself but she’s so grateful that Diego had a mother who cared for him just as she cared for him because she often though about him and always made sure to commemorate his birthday. 
The German woman can’t help but see herself in her boy. Can’t help but see her little brother in him. Can’t help but see her older brother in him. Because Klaus is so joyful but he hides his pain behind a mask like her younger brother, he’s so loving towards his siblings like her older brother, and so nonsensical like herself. So like herself, down to the curly hair and the addiction. Even if she was able to overcome it with support from her family, it pains her and leaves her in despair to see Klaus and can’t find fault in those he had around him because she sees how much they try and sees how hard the Hargreeves find expressing emotion is to others. 
The Asian woman sees how sweet and shy her youngest is and thinks only of her oldest, who reminds her so much of him and can only despair in seeing that he didn’t live as long as her oldest had. She can only ask herself why her children don’t seem to be able to see themselves to adulthood but can only be grateful that even in death he has someone with him.
The Russian woman knows that her husband sees her in little number Seven, in Vanya, no matter how little that is. Maybe their personalities aren’t so similar because Seven is shy but she’s got the sweetest heart and so clearly loves her siblings. She has the same smile that she has and her little doe eyes remind her of herself when she was younger. She’s so small next to her siblings, just like herself. 
So they see themselves in these kids, these grown ups. But so do the Hargreeves. 
They see how Luther looks like what the Danish woman would look like as a man and how Five looks exactly like a younger version of the Danish man who introduced himself as the woman's older brother. 
They see how Two has the same skin tone and facial structure as the Hispanic woman. 
They see that Allison looks exactly like the French woman and see the same in Claire. 
They see Four’s curly hair and slim build in the German woman. 
They notice how Six shares the same dark hair and lower facial features. 
They see Seven’s eyes and smile and short stature in the Russian woman. 
So maybe they don’t know them well enough to see what the women see, but they grow to see it overtime because they spend so much time there, in this suspended room in time.
The women insist on getting to know them and vice versa. They insist that they have to talk about their feelings and assure them or gently scold them, depending on the reason, for what they feel because god do these children need to learn how to talk more about their emotions in a healthy way.
They get closer to the children and start to really see their childish side. They all fight over the silliest things, and become pouty when attention isn’t being drawn over to them. They crave physical affection, even Five who won’t admit that his maternal uncle patting him and One of the head made him feel all gooey inside. They make faces towards foods that they don’t like and still prefer junk food over real food. 
So maybe it’s harder to let themselves act like children because they’re being conditioned to not “be childish” but even then they have their lapses in control. Four enters a state of panic after being reminded of his time in the mausoleum. One feels overwhelming guilt when he sees how Luther hurts Klaus and reminds himself that he’s the one that needs to protect them, as the leader and self proclaimed older sibling. Five feels himself cry for the first time in a long while when he sees how his siblings act towards him in the future and realize it hurts him deeply because he knows that he’s messed up their lives a lot but can’t they see that he only want to keep them alive, he doesn’t want to see them die again, he can’t-
But instead of being shamed into controlling their emotions, they are comforted and reassured. Four’s birth mother helps ground him and counts his breathing with him to keep him from falling further into his panic. One get’s reassured by his birth mother that his future self isn’t his current self. That everyone in the room has seen just how much he cares for his siblings and knows he would do anything for them. The twins uncle gives into his urge and hugs Five, whispering in a hushed tone that it’s okay to cry, to let it all out. He whispers that his older siblings are being idiots and if they knew just how much their actions were hurting you, they wouldn’t hesitate to apologize and hug you too. His words only make Five cry harder. 
So they are cared for and allowed to be themselves fully and can be childish to their hearts content. And their birth families watch on in amazement and adoration. 
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I have so much more that I’ll probably add later, but basically I want them to be cared for, allowed to care for each other and learn to express themselves better. I want to see them get to have a good relationship with an adult and if possible their birth mothers. 
Pls share links and stuff if you get inspired, I’m not much for writing fanfic but I really do want to see something like this. I’d read the shit out of it. I have so much more that I want to add but I’ll probably do something about it later. 
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moonknightly · 3 years
Text
and you keep me holding on : santiago garcia x reader (nine)
Word Count: 2.3k+
Excerpt: “He’s figured out that she thinks she’s dreaming every time she opens her eyes and sees him. She thinks that she’s going to wake up to Nathan and that Santiago will be gone.”
Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault, cursing, uhhh I think that’s it?
[SERIES MASTERLIST]
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OCTOBER FIFTH — DAY TWO
Santi isn’t sure who calls her parents, but they’re in the waiting room the next morning and while he knows that they have every right to be there, he wishes that they would just go away. Her mother is already talking about taking her “home” the second she’s released from the hospital.
He doesn’t have the energy to fight with them yet, doesn’t know how to tell her grieving parents that her home is with him. She belongs with him, he’ll take care of her.
But then again, he’s already failed once.
Maybe she won’t feel safe with him anymore.
Maybe she won’t feel safe in the new apartment, she won’t recognize it. Sure, she’ll look around and see familiar furniture, some pictures and the duvet she’d picked out herself. Nevada. Maybe she’ll smell Santi’s cologne in the air or the stench from the cigarettes he smokes when things get just a little too hard, but it’ll all be in a space that’s entirely new.
Did he make the right decision? Should he have stayed at the last place?
No. No, he doesn’t think that would’ve been smart either.
Maybe she does need to go with her parents, back to the house she grew up in, where her room hasn’t been touched since she was in high school and everything is familiar.
But then she says his name in her sleep, and he knows that he’s not going to be able to let her go.
He knows he can take care of her. He’ll do it right this time, he’ll never let a damn thing happen to her ever again.
So Santi shuts it down the moment her mother brings it up again, and he’s surprised that her father actually sides with him on it. It doesn’t turn into an argument like he thought it would and he’s beyond thankful for that.
She stays asleep for most of the day, only waking up for a little while at a time, and when she does, she refuses to take her eyes off of Santi. It only serves as further confirmation that she needs him, he’s the right decision.
Jay offers to stay with them for a while, thinking maybe they’ll both feel better with another set of eyes, a little added protection, and at first Santi shakes his head — he feels guilty for some reason, he doesn’t know exactly why but he feels like it’s too much.
But then she has a nightmare, and he watches as Jay immediately reaches out and touches her cheeks to let her know she’s not alone, she’s safe and they’re right there. Santi’s positive that Jay has noticed that he hasn’t touched her yet, and he also knows that she probably needs someone who will be able to give her physical reassurance when she wants it.
So he caves, only if Jay will take his bed while he crashes on the couch and of course Jay says no.
But it’s not something they really have to worry or argue about right then.
She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
OCTOBER SIXTH — DAY THREE
Every single news channel has been covering her return just as much, if not more, as her disappearance. They’re still looking for Nathan, but Santi’s sure they’ll never find him. Not anytime soon, at least.
He didn’t know if he’d dumped her with the intention of her being found alive or dead, but either way he has to know she’s been found and that they’re looking for him again with the same amount of ferocity as they had been when she first went missing. He hates to think about that, how after just a few months everything just seemed to die down for everyone else but those in his little circle, and even then sometimes he felt like the only one who still cared.
Santi shakes his head and pushes those thoughts away.
Her. He just needs to focus on her.
They’d gotten her temperature up, and the cocktail of medicine they’d been pushing for the last three days seem to be doing their job. Her scans all came back clear, no damage to her heart or brain. All in all, she’s responding well to treatment.
She’s still confused though, still disorientated whenever she wakes up but the doctors assure Santi that it’s completely normal and to be expected. He’d asked them how long it would take for her to become lucid and coherent, and they hadn’t really been able to give him an answer.
Could be a few days, could be another week.
But it’s okay, she needs to rest. She needs to rest and Santi needs to get a fucking grip on himself so he can be there for her when she’s finally fully conscious again.
He thinks the nurses have started to notice that he’s keeping his distance, and that they’ve been setting him up to touch her in small ways that he can never really say no to.
“Can you fix her blanket for me?”
“Hold her hand up while I replace the bandage on her IV?”
“Help me slide her over?”
He always does what’s asked of him, but his fingers never linger and he’s managed to do it all without directly touching her skin so far. The sweatshirt she’s in is good for more than just keeping her warm.
But still, he doesn’t really count it as touching her. Direct contact with her body isn’t something he can even imagine right now because he still wants to cry every time he pulls away from her, and he’s only touching a fucking piece of clothing she’s wearing.
Santi needs to get his shit figured out.
It’s not fair to her, not in the least.
So at three in the morning, when he knows it’s going to be another hour before her morning labs are drawn, when he knows that there won’t be a single person in to bother them until then, he gets out of the chair he’s been living in and moves to sit on the end of her bed.
She stirs, and the panic in her eyes is immediate. Her fingers tighten around the blanket and she looks like she’s getting ready to scream or cry out.
He hates it. He hates causing it even though he knows that he’s not really the reason behind it.
He clears his throat and whispers her name, trying his best to keep his voice from wavering.
She blinks, his voice clearly registering in her head though she still looks confused and unsure, but the terror melts away. She knows this is someone safe, someone that she can trust and someone who isn’t going to hurt her. She’s safe.
“Stay.”
“I’m right here, baby.”
She shakes her head and closes her eyes again. “You always leave.”
He’s figured out that she thinks she’s dreaming every time she opens her eyes and sees him. She thinks that she’s going to wake up to Nathan and that Santiago will be gone.
It breaks his heart.
“You’re not dreaming sweetheart. You’re okay.”
She shakes her head again.
“I’m right here,” he repeats, taking a deep breath before he reaches his hand out, but he stops when he’s only an inch away.
There’s no heat radiating from her, and if he wasn’t standing there watching her breathe he’d be thinking the worst.
It finally hits Santi just how small and fragile she is.
And now he feels like if he touches her, he’ll break her.
He pulls his hand back.
He’ll try again tomorrow.
OCTOBER SEVENTH — DAY FOUR
It’s cold and dark and his voice is coming from all around her. He’s calling her name, threatening her with things that she tries so hard to block out but they still creep into her mind, filling her with even more panic and dread as she’s left to think about what he’s going to do to her once he finds her.
Nathan calls it “The Game”.
He gives her a thirty second head start, tells her to run as far and as fast as she can, and if she can get away, she’s free. She can go home.
But if he catches her, his twisted words become a reality. He’ll keep her chained up for a few days, or maybe it’s a couple weeks or even a month, she’s never really sure but then the cycle repeats.
And he always catches her, always. No matter how sure she is that she’s finally escaped, he’s always right there to pin her to the ground and have his way with her. He’s always there to crush her hope and what little faith she’s able to gain back in those brief moments of thinking she’s free.
She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind enough to focus. She needs to get moving.
She looks down to figure out which way she had come and there’s snow. She hates snow. She used to love it, back when her and Santi would go for walks around Christmas time, hot cocoa in hand with their arms linked together. She wonders if he’s put the tree up this year. She wonders if Christmas has already passed.
But per usual, that happy thought of Santiago is ripped away from her when she hears Nathan’s voice again, this time only closer. Her skin crawls.
She has to start running. She knows she’s not as fast as she used to be, she’s too weak, but she has to try.
God, she hates snow.
She never stands a chance. It’s always so easy for Nathan to follow her tracks, and it always feels like there are tiny little needles stabbing into her bare feet with each step she takes, but she doesn’t allow herself to feel it in the moment, no. She never thinks about the pain until The Game is over, because of course she’ll take that moment of pain in trade for freedom. She’ll take those pins in needles if it means she’s just one step closer to getting away.
She thinks she might have it this time. Nathan’s voice is far off again, and she can see something in the distance. A road, maybe.
Yes, a road. That was definitely a car zooming past.
She runs faster, that familiar hope blossoming in her chest. She’s so close, so so close. Just a few more yards-
But then there’s crushing weight on top of her, and rough hands grabbing at her hips and she doesn’t have to look to know who it is.
He found her, of course he found her.
She immediately starts to cry, kicking herself because she should have expected it, she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes so high. All Nathan does is laugh and pull her closer, and then she feels his hand move into her hair. He holds her head up so she can keep her eyes on the road while he gets himself ready to do what he always does.
She tries to just lay there, begging her mind to drift off towards Santi, towards her safe place. When she thinks about him instead of what’s happening, it’s not so bad. Santi makes it all better.
But then another car drives by, and then another, and another and she can’t focus on anything but the fact that she’d been so close. There were people right there, maybe close enough to hear her if she’s loud enough.
She screams.
She wakes up screaming.
She’s screaming and kicking and Santi’s immediately by her side, calling her name, begging her to look at him but she doesn’t hear a thing, doesn’t register it.
He calls out for a nurse, starting to panic, afraid that she’s hurt and in pain but then he hears his name leave her lips in a broken, mangled sob and he knows she must’ve been dreaming.
He wants to cry with her. He hates seeing her like this.
Two nurses rush into the room, trying to get her attention as well but to no avail. They’re asking her what hurts, what happened, but all she can do is thrash around and call out for Santi again.
Hearing her like that, it’s the final push he needs to finally reach out to her.
Santi takes her hand, kissing each of her knuckles once he feels like she’s not going to punch him while he whispers that it’s okay, he’s right here and he’s not leaving her. She’s not with Nathan, she’s not in danger. She’s okay.
She doesn’t calm down, not really, so beyond terrified that Santiago’s voice is nothing but a trick her mind is playing on her, that he is the dream, one her brain had created to block it all out.
He repeats his words a second time, moving one of his hands up to her cheek, and it seems to break her out of it just a little bit more. He brings the second one up so that he’s cupping her face, and he watches as she immediately melts into him.
“You’re okay, sweet girl, it’s okay. It’s me, Santi.”
She doesn’t open her eyes. He wishes she would, but he doesn’t expect her to, not really. She’s so tired and he’s sure crying has left her completely exhausted.
He knows he’s right when her breathing evens out again.
But he doesn’t let go. Now that he’s touched her, he doesn’t want to stop, even though he knows that once she’s coherent it’ll probably be the last thing she wants.
He’ll take it while he can get it though.
He holds her hand all night long.
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fireemblems24 · 3 years
Text
Dimitri's Supports
I have waited FOREVER for this. Let's go. And I decided to put my patience to the test, saving Dedue for last.
Since it's Dimitri and I love him, and like Dedue who I also love, he's the only one unlocking all his A-Supports, I'm going to blog all my reactions to them like I did with Dedue. Part of me wishes I thought of this for the other characters, but honestly it would've taken forever lol. Plus Dimitri and Dedue get special treatment because I said so.
Raphael
Starting off with something light hearted, I hope. I do wonder if I'm going to regret not saving this one for the inevitably heavy-handed stuff coming later.
I'm seriously betting this is a support you're supposed to get in part 1 lol. Dimitri sounds young (or maybe I'm just haven't heard non-growl part 2 Dimitri enough yet?)
Dimitri's training made Raphael think he was dying lol. Dimitri's strength is really meme tier.
I need fanart of Dimitri and Chrom co-miserating their mishandled strength breaking something. And Lucina.
Lamo, Raphael has never felt a cramp before. Lucky bastard.
Raphael is a sweetie, going to apologize to his muscles. I really wish they gave him something else to talk about other than muscles and food. Not everyone needs Dimitri tier development, but I think I'd like Raphael a lot more if he just got a smidge more depth.
Got to say, it's a bit jarring to go from "moments away from a suicide charge in the rain" to "lol, Raphael, it's muscle pain." As glad as I am that I got this support, I do think some should've been locked to part 1.
And this isn't just for Dimitri's development. I also saw Marianne and Raphael's B before this support and she reverted back to her part 1 self too.
Catherine
Maybe it's just me, but he does sound a bit older.
OMG - Dimitri's back. 😭😭😭
Sorry, it didn't really hit in that first one since that seemed like a part 1 support.
Oh, cool! I was wondering if anyone would bring up Catherine returning to Faerghus. My bets is she's too loyal to Rhea. (I guessed right)
Catherine be simpin. That's ok, I get it.
So it's not because Catherine dislikes Dimitri, or that she's absolutely needed to rule House Charon, so I think Dimitri just likes her. She's cool though. I get it.
Lamo, she told him he'd better get his sleep like he's a kid.
Curious how the A+ support will play out.
Mercedes
Team Mom's support!
Oh, no, this one's taking a serious turn isn't it? But their initial supports were so light and cute.
Mercedes just told Dimitri that he's kind to a fault. Somehow I know he's going to deny that.
Annnnnd I'm right 😭😭😭He's still calling himself a killer and disgusting monster 😭😭😭
OK - so THIS seems perfectly in tone with his recent character development. But it's so sad hearing him still talk about himself that way.
Mercedes is such a therapist. I can't. She's too pure. But savage. I saw that Lorenz support.
"I am scared . . . so scared that I will forget their faces." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Dimitri why????
Mercedes telling Dimitri to live in the present. Her supports are always so good. I legit think she's easily a top 10 favorite in this game.
Wow, Dimitri saying if someone told him that 5 years ago, he'd be different. DID NO ONE EVER GIVE HIM ANY HELP AT ALL???
I love how she's talking to him as a classmate, and equal, and not talking up to him. He's always wanted that.
Dimitri's never given his own dreams any thought 😭😭😭He really was just 100% living for other people most of the time. 😭😭😭
Awww MERCEDES, I can't. She says she just wants to keep being his friend. This is so damn sweet. And heavy. But still sweet.
It just hits super hard knowing how badly Dimitri just wanted friends in part 1. And looking back, Mercedes and Sylvain were really the only two who were pretty casual with him.
Aww, yeah, Mercedes not putting up with the bullshit, Dimitri. Telling him to quit the self-deprecation! God, I love her.
Oh, God, they both said the old FE code for "we're married" i.e. I want to "stay by your side."
Ok, @garlandgerard, I totally get why you ship this. Mercedes loves to nurture people, and Dimitri's emotionally needy, so they match pretty well. She also didn't put up with the constant self-put-downs, but stayed gentle about it. And they talked like equals too, like friends, which is what Dimitri always wanted. It's all very sweet.
Annette
Yeah, see, this one starts off with "your highness," but Mercedes it was just Dimitri. No hate for Annette. She's my girl.
These two always give me sibling vibes.
Haha, Annette "I thought I already knew you, but I'm not sure I really do." Hmmmm wonder what Dimitri did that made her think that maybe there's parts of him she didn't know. No. idea.
Hey, Annette, no one blames you for not knowing what to say to Dimitri when they reunited lol.
Annette too pure too, wanting to cheer Dimitri up with his favorite food.
Her not knowing what he likes to eat is 100% that moment when you realize you don't know someone's favorite color.
HOW can Dimitri have no strong feelings about food. I'm having pizza right now. Let me tell you, I have strong feelings about some food.
I love how easily Dimitri deflected from talking about himself lol.
Awwww, Annette wants to live with her family again. I'll make that happen, Annette. Don't worry.
Haha, they're conspiring together behind Gilbert's back.
They still have an A+ support, which is weird, because that seemed pretty well ended? Like I see why Catherine's needed more, but not this one. Still, not going to say no. I like their dynamic.
Ingrid
OCF they're training. God I love all the Faerghus childhood group though.
Oh, fuck, here comes Glenn again. My heart's not ready for this with Rodrigue dead. Poor Felix.
Ingrid being Dimitri's knight 😊😊😊 as it should be.
Haha, Dimitri asks her for an interpretation. Just make her your knight.
Glad he hasn't started saying "I'm not worthy!" Because right now it's about Ingrid's feelings.
Wow, there, Ingrid. "However you please, Your Highness." That . . . that sounds like an invitation. To "staying by your side."
Dimitri laughed. 😊😊😊
Oh, God, this is so cute. His pause asking her to support and defend him as his knight. 😊😊😊 OMG. I'm not sure that's all she had in mind though, good Sir, have you LOOKED in the mirror?
Seriously though, Ingrid's just surrounded by studs, isn't she?
Oh, God, I'm right. She didn't just mean knight. But Dimitri's too dense in that area to notice. She crushing hard. Girl, I get you.
She blushing, saying "for the Kingdom," naw, she just like him. Me too, Ingrid. Me too.
Dimitri always makes people promise not to die on him. It's so sad considering . . .
Flayn
With Flayn it's always a toss up. Sometimes things are super light hearted, and other times it's way heavy.
On a random note, does no one wonder why Flayn hasn't aged a day in 5 years?
Flayn having nightmares. Not allowed. I bet it's fucking Jeritza's fault. I'm glad you get to rip him a new one so many times in this game.
Why is Flayn apologizing?? She's never done a thing wrong in her life.
Right, Flayn's other support with Dimitri was pretty heavy. And it started so funny with him stomaching her food.
Oh, good grief, what's he apologizing for? Ok - so Dimitri did do some things wrong. But not to Flayn.
He lied. Let me guess. Her food actually sucks.
Aw, got it. He went right to the meal. Is he really going to come out and say, well it actually sucked 😂
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEALS???? AND THE TEA an embarrassing amount of tea.
Wait. He can't taste ANYTHING??? Like. How? Did he hide that????
Ok - I need to look at his team and dining dialogue.
OMG. He really never says a word about how anything tastes? He always just talks about smells????
OMG. How did I NOT NOTICE. I've taken Dimitri to dinner a million times. And tea timed him too many times to admit too.
AND I NEVER NOTICED HE NEVER ONCE SAID HOW ANYTHING TASTED. HOW.
OMG that support with Annette hits different now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
OMG and Dedue's support with Flayn hits different now. Since he wanted to badly to find food Dimitri loves 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Does Dedue know? Is that why he's so dedicated to cooking??
Can I headcannon that?
OMG, I feel so awful about that jab about pizza. Dimitri CAN'T TASTE pizza or anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Please someone tell me there isn't any more "this awful thing also happened to Dimitri and he's failed to tell you" like learning he almost fucking died at Duscur. And now this. Dimitri needs to learn how to fucking complain.
The writers are so fucking mean to Dimitri. OMG. OMG, how am I supposed to take him to dinner and tea now, knowing this?
Why does everything hit so differently now? And so many Blue Lions supports are about food - but Dimitri can't relate
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
This game needs to stop bullying Dimitri.
But like, God, can you imagine? Not tasting anything? I'd starve. I'd actually starve. I never really get hungry. I really would starve.
On the flip side, he's good for Flayn then, since someone can eat her cooking I guess.
"I was just saying what I thought you would want to hear . . ." Dimitri - a summary.
Naw, that's a kind lie. That kind of lie doesn't really hurt anyone.
Oh - dear God. Flayn. Stop. No sampling pungent food.
Oh, she blushing. Dimitri got her blushing
Please tell me in their paired ending Dimitri gets his taste back.
Oh, there's an A+, does he taste something. Please tell me he tastes something.
This support though. It wasn't really one on my radar but
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Gilbert
Oh, man, this one right after Flayn's. God, I'm going to need the Alois one after this. Gilbert and Dimitri are two of the most somber characters in the franchise.
And I haven't forgotten that heartbreaking B support.
Haha Lambert sucked at lying too. Dimitri too pure. Weirdly, despite everything, it's still pretty true.
Oh, shit, oh shit, we're back to Dimitri's demand that Gilbert kill him. I'm betting you usually get that in part 2.
God, imagine seeing Dimitri recover only to see him beg for death again 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I need alcohol.
I need the Alois support.
OMG, shit, Dimitri. No. Don't. Stop.
Like, I know Gilbert won't really kill him, but damn. This support is heavy.
No, Dimitri, no Gilbert is not cruel for not killing you. God.
Oh, not sure about this. I get what Gilbert's going at here, but telling Dimitri that he's not allowed to die because he's got a duty is . . . I think Rodrigue's and Mercedes' live for what you want/the present is a LOT healthier.
At the same time, this is a pretty effective way to make sure Dimitri won't go and try this again, because he really takes duty seriously.
Dimitri doesn't wish to die? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Oh, thank God.
"Many times I have felt that I cannot afford to die . . . But this was the first time I truly feared the prospect." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"Is it really right for me to live?" Oh, dear God. I'm so soft for Dimitri. I can't.
Gilbert answered that one right. 100%.
Damn, these supports.
Alois
OK. I need this one. I really need this one.
I really hope Alois' inspiration is bad puns. I need bad puns right now.
Pretty sure this is a part 1 support though. I love how Alois, not Dimitri, is leading this. And that the person the Kingdom NEEDS is running around and getting attacked by monsters lol
Ok, bad puns. Bring them.
There we go. Thank you, thank you, Alois.
OMG no one's laughing 😂😂😂
Dimitri's laughing 😭😭😭😭😭😭
That's it. This is always getting saved for part 2. I need to hear part 2 Dimitri laugh.
I'm also so glad someone finds Alois funny. Dimitri and Petra need to start a club.
OMG I love the two other confused soldiers. I needed this 😂😂😂
Marianne
These two were so sweet in their C and B supports.
I swear I'm going to end up shipping Dimitri with everyone. Except maybe Annette, no hate, they just seem so much like brother and sister to me.
And Felix x Annette 100%
Survivor's Guilt - the pairing. Both wondering why they survived 😭😭😭
"There are so many others who are much more deserving of life . . ." - who said it? Marianne or Dimitri?
These two just understand how each other feels so well. It hits so different compared to Marianne's other romantic possible supports where they just try to make her smile.
Instead these two take comfort in finding someone who understands how they feel so well and feel relieved they can share that with someone.
Haha - "I must go on living. I cannot give in to death so readily." This coming right after his support with Gilbert. Good job, Gilbert.
They've both had it so rough 😭😭😭😭😭😭
"There is no need to force yourself to smile as your soul bleeds." Dimitri always gives such good advice that he never follows.
Aww, now at least it's getting cute instead of just heavy. Marianne laughed too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Yesss, Girl, preach. I got a little sick of her other supports all being "cheer up!" Like I know it's all in good faith, but I'm so glad this chain exists. It just hits different.
Dimitri doesn't think he's strong enough to live his life. 😭😭😭 this game. I swear.
ohhhh - ohhh, Dimitri blushing now. And all she needed to say was they've been brought closer together. Congrats Marianne!
OHHHH tables have been turned. Now someone's making Dimitri promise he needs to live!
"I don't know what I'd do with myself if we lost you . . ."
"I promise to the goddess of Fodlan that I will never give you cause for despair."
OMG these two are being so sweet, I can't. 😭😭😭😊😊😊
Felix
Oh, boy, here we go. This should be . . . interesting.
Oh, we're starting off good I see. Felix telling Dimitri he needs to answer quickly or get cut in half 😔Felix. No.
Dimitri sounds so somber 😭
Dimitri admitting both are him - the vengeful "boar" and the friendly good person. And this is why I love him.
Dimitri feels the need to shoulder all the regret the dead feel, please don't. They wouldn't want that 😭😭😭😭😭
"The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty, they don't care." - Felix not wrong there.
I partly agree with the idea Dimitri is "serving his own ego" by claiming he's acting for the dead. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, but I think that's part of it.
Felix saying some good stuff here about the dead being dead and the living being living.
"If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap." - Felix, I don't know if you noticed but . . . uh . . . he sort of did.
Felix telling Dimitri to become a grave keeper is a bit funny. Not going to lie.
"I'm not immune to emotion you know." - just tsunderes things
Aw, Felix is upset his father died 😭😭 after all that shit-talking about Rodrigue 😭😭
Wish Felix didn't cut Dimitri off when he said "more than anyone you-" (care about other people, unless he joins CF and just kills everyone)
Oh, God, Felix is such a tsundere. "I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all." Sure, Felix.
Kinda wish these two had an A+ though. Seems like there's more to do than the A+ with Annette and Flayn.
Really curious to see what their paired ending is like after that. Seems they're still learning to learn about each other. Well, Felix is. Dimitri didn't seem too upset lol.
Dedue
Ok guys. Here we go. I can't believe I managed to wait for this for last. Everyone hyped this one, so let's hope.
Really? We open with Dimitri having scars on his back? 😭
From 9 years ago? So scars from Duscur then?
Images of shirtless Dimitri now. though Not bad images.
He got scars protecting Dedue?
"It makes me think that is was worthwhile that someone like me survived." 😭😭😭 he's talking about protecting Dedue? 😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"But I saved someone - saved you. That and that alone has been my crutch." 😭😭😭😭😭
I always knew these two were co-dependent.
Dimitri really out here saying that saving Dedue helped him "justify" surviving. 😭😭😭😊😊😊
OMG THAT'S THEIR STORY
OMG, poor Dedue. And Dimitri 😭😭😭did he literally "take a bullet" to save Dedue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and still has scars? No wonder Dedue's so loyal. Some kid he didn't know did that. That's one hell of an introduction.
And picturing little Dedue just resigned and angry and waiting to die and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Oh, Dedue, you've repaid that debt ten-fold I'm sure.
Ahaha, Dimitri's doing the "you'd better accept your worth!" discussion this time lol.
Dear God these two. Now Dimitri's bringing up that Dedue busted him out of the jail.
I swear, these two have more of a plot off screen than some routes do on screen.
And now picturing Dimitri resigned and just ready to die. And then Dedue busts in. 😭😭😭
"That was nothing more than my duty as your vassal." Stop that Dedue. Dimitri doesn't want you to be his vassal. He wants more.
Holy shit.
"You are irreplaceable. Cherished." 😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊
Not to be that person - but I tell all my "friends" that.
Yes, Dedue, stop saying insisting you're just a "vassal" - that's a worse joke than Alois' puns from earlier.
"Please . . . do not look at me that way." What way, like you're about to make Dimitri cry, or like . . .
"You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood." - shit, man, these two. I just . . .
OMG so much emotion from Dedue. The only time I ever heard that before was in VW when he learned Dimitri died. But let's not remember that right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Oh shit. He called him "Dimitri." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
And it made him blush.
OMG.
Guys, these two.
Aww, Dimitri looks so surprised. 😊😊😊😊😊😊
Oh, these two are so soft for each other. I can't. I just can't.
"To be your friend . . . is what I have always wanted." You're going to get it.
Man, I feel almost guilty S-Supporting Dimitri. He needs to pair up with Dedue pronto.
Dimitri sounds chocked up. OMG.
"So please call upon me when you walk alone at night." Ok. Dedue. Ok. Yes. Guys. This is all very straight.
I'm not saying it's - you know - cannon, but there's some big feels here.
Oh, Dimitri, stop it. You like Dedue's overprotectiveness. Don't lie.
Man, you guys were so right. Dimitri really just came out and said Dedue was "cherished" and "irreplaceable." Like, I'm not making this stuff up. And Dedue blushing hardcore just saying Dimitri's name.
They're both just so soft. I can't. I literally cannot. This support was gold. It was worth all they hype.
And learning more about how they meant. Dimitri really taking a bullet for Dedue there. I just . . .
I just want all the happiness for both of them. They're really something special towards each other. Like I legitimately think this is one of the most two-way loyal relationships in the whole franchise, and definitely the tightest bond in this game.
Like in past games you had Seth for Ephraim and Erikia and Soren for Ike and it's not like Ike, Ephraim and Erikia and etc don't care, but it wasn't the same level, you know? But this is such a two way street.
And I'm so weak for bodyguard with a crush. Like Seth/Eirika? Yes. Geoffrey/Elincia? 100%. Riza/Roy (Fullmetal Alchemist) there again. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top ones. Even Merlin/Arthur sort of counts even if Arthur doesn't know Merlin's his bodyguard lol.
I need to read fanfic for these two. I really don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying. They're both just so sweet, and I just really love their dynamic. I really want to do a write up on it once I get to the end of the game.
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