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mickyschumacher · 7 months

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𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐂𝐀𝐊𝐄 .ೃ࿐

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you and lando have a pretty healthy relationship; communication is a breeze between the two of you. and while that seems good, it doesn't help lando is horny 24/7. even the beach isn't safe from him.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minors dni), established relationship, some fluff, blowjob, slight handjob, breastplay, poor humour LMAO aka old creepy mens' dicks, no time concept lol, basically lando time!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: bf!lando norris x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3k+

𝐀/𝐍: now playing: ice cream cake – red velvet! OKAY YES IK I HAVE REQUESTS BUT I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK TILL THIS OKAY? is it not obvious by the word count? 😭 alexa, play 'easy on me' by adele :( also new banners after i messed around one day! ♡︎ // proof-read-ish!

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

⋆ •°. ｡ .°• ⋆

You had met Lando two years ago purely on accident. You were at a coffee shop in Brighton, he was visiting a friend there. You ordered a hot chocolate and he had ordered a long black. Somehow the both of you had swapped cups and were wincing at how sweet or bitter the drink was.

Lando had turned his cup around to see who the cup belonged to. Upon seeing your name, unlike a normal person who would ask the barista for another cup or a refund, he had shouted your name across the room.

Lucky for you, you were the only other customer there since it was a slow day. Nevertheless, you looked up in shock. Who yelled out your name? Why? How did they know your name?

You actually purposely avoided eye-contact with his table just in case he was some weird guy. But Lando got your attention after telling you from across that room that you had some sweet taste in drinks.

You raised a brow. Was this some sort of new catcall you didn't know about? But then you had caught the barista's handwriting on 'your' cup. Lando, Long Black.

You scrunched your nose at the cup and looked at him. "You're quite bitter."

It was at that point when Lando had got a clear shot of your face and found his heart racing faster than normal. You were pretty, no gorgeous, no beautiful, no... surreal. Your face was contorted into a grimaced expression at his order which he found amusing. You looked like, what he still claims to this day, part of the shop's couch. The couch was brown and you were wearing a brown sweater.

Honestly, Lando couldn't find the whole situation anymore endearing. So with whatever confidence he had leftover, he walked up to your table and smoothly asked, "Can I get you a sweeter one with my number?"

Now this was when you first had probably got a look of Lando. He had a certain... boyish charm, if you will. The wide grin, sparkling blue eyes, face dotted with the odd freckle or beauty mark. To say he was attractive was an understatement. He looked like one of the main characters in the rom-coms you would binge when you needed a pick me-up.

You said yes. Obviously.

And here you were, two years later. At the beach with Lando, Charles, Carlos, Daniel, and their partners. You were all caught up with F1, always available for Lando. Your perspective of him had changed quite a lot since you had met him. In a good way, of course.

You initially saw him how a lot most of his fans and the media see him. A comedian by day and a moodmaker by night. Always smiling and cheery. Positive and optimistic. But the reality was that Lando struggled with the mental and physical aspects of F1. He didn't always have the confidence and he was stressed and depressed.

But as Lando always said in his interviews, he had found you.

'The best thing that had ever happened to him,' according to Lando himself.

Anyone could see that the two of you loved each other with your entire beings. Neither of you left any stone unturned in your relationship. Most people were jealous of your relationship. The drivers, the media, and especially the fans.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

━━━━━━━━━━━

One thing about Lando that you had learned quite soon after your first time together was that Lando was insatiable. He was sex-driven, horny, full of lust, aroused... all the words in the dictionary for a man like this... 24/7.

One day, you asked him why. Lando only responded with pulling you closer to him, leaving a trail of kisses from your jaw and down to your neck, and saying "You."

You wouldn't say anything did it for him. No in fact, it was specific things that he couldn't take his mind off once he thought about it.

Take right now for example.

Carlos had decided to treat everyone to ice creams, ice lollies, and juice on your trip to the beach in Playa de Bolonia. Innocently and naively, you had chosen the pink ice lolly out the chilly bin. Lando had also not thought anything of it.

Rather Lando had being eyeing you with every spare glance as you were wearing his favourite bikini, the one he had bought you for Christmas as a prank gift in the nice British winter thinking it had been the funniest thing ever. Obviously, he thought you were going to were it but another thing you had learned was that Lando's humour quite often was unmatched and spontaneous.

The bikini itself was simple. An orange, of course, two-piece. The top was held up by two moderately thin straps and hugged your breasts quite nicely. The bikini bottom was as normal as it could get, clinging to your hips. On top of it, you wore a white thin-laced cotton coverup, loosely tied together.

You would say it was an average beach look. Lando would disagree. It was as if God himself had carved you and decided to put you on Earth as reparations for the bad in the world.

But back to the point.

As mentioned, Lando hadn't really thought of the ice lolly. He was too busy trying to get Daniel back with a water gun. Like you said, boyish. It wasn't until he had finally got him back and decided to go sit down with you and grab himself some ice cream.

But when Lando sat down and looked at you, his mind had suddenly turned into shambles. There you were. Under the shade, peaks of sun shining on your skin, holding that pink ice lolly to your mouth.

Lando wasn't quite sure what was worse. The faint pink colour similar to his cock or the way your tongue travelled down the length of it to collect the melting sugary liquid. Or how your lips pressed up on the tip of the ice and pressed down to take an inch more of it into your mouth as if it was his own cock.

To make matters even worse for him, you had failed to capture some of the melting droplets. Lando keenly watched as they fell to your bare part of your chest and even had landed right where he knew your nipple was. His eyes widened ever so slightly and his breath paced when you frowned at the event and used your finger to wipe the sweet liquid off your skin and into your mouth. Some of it had gone too far down, probably pooling near your breasts like he imagined.

What sent him overboard? When you had spotted the stain on your bikini top over your nipple and attempted to rub it away, only making the stain worse and a small bump for your pebbled nipple.

Lando gulped nervously, pants incredibly tight. He closed his eyes and held his hands over his newly-formed hard on, wishing that his mind wasn't full of everything he had just seen. Your lips... your breasts... the way your eyes looked down at the popsicle... if only that was his cock....

"Lando? Dude, do you need to go to the bathroom?" Pierre's voice cut through the air.

Lando snapped his eyes opened and your eyes looked over to your boyfriend.

"W-What?" The British male queried with slight panic. He was not getting caught with a hard-on in front of his friends... there was no way in Earth...

Pierre raised a brow, gesturing to his pants. "You're ice cream is all melted. You need to take your eyes off Y/N at least sometimes, Lando, otherwise you'll never finish... your ice cream, that is," He teased.

You looked down at Lando's pants where his hands laid, covered in the white vanilla ice cream-turned liquid. You and everyone let out an amused laugh at Pierre's joke, shaking your head.

You stood up from the sandy grass you were sat on, dusting yourself off. You extended your hand to Lando, "Come on. I bought extra stuff in the car. Honestly, I thought you were going to lose your trunks by Daniel pantsing you in the water but I guess not."

A howl of laughter came from Charles and Carlos while Daniel cursed himself for not doing it.

Lando blinked, pulling the finger at his fellow drivers. He sighed, grabbing your hand and awkwardly standing up from the area, managing to cover up his bulge swiftly.

The two of you headed to the car as Lando briefly threw out the sticky wrapper and stick into a bin nearby. You opened the boot of the car, grabbing his trunks. "Jesus, could it get any hotter today?" You asked, closing the back door.

"It really couldn't," Lando mused, walking hand-in-hand with you, making you release a groan.

"Lando... now my hand's all sticky, you idiot," You complained, trying to pull apart from his hand.

Lando rolled his eyes, arriving to the empty males changing room. He was about to enter when he saw you stand outside and not follow him. "What are you doing? Come in."

You narrowed your eyes. "It's a male changing room. I'm not going in. What if there's some old man trying to change? I do not need to be scarred for life. My DMs is enough, thanks."

"First of all, there's no one here," Lando stated before shouting a loud 'Hello' into the room, making you redden with embarassment. "See? Secondly, I'm sorry, let me get this straight, your DMs are full of old men's dicks?" Lando looked at you incredulously.

You grinned, shrugging. "It's called being a woman, Lando. You wouldn't get it."

Lando rolled his eyes once again, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you into the changing room.

The room was the opposite of most changing rooms. It was tiled well, clean and fresh as opposed to musty, damp and with paint-chipped walls. There were also no leaky taps or showers or even any graffiti. It was slightly comforting to know that at least people respected some of their public rooms, even in Madrid.

"Wait, also, what if I get old? You don't want to see my shrivelled dick? It should turn you on!" Lando asked with a dramatic gasp.

You looked at your boyfriend through the mirror with a dumfounded expression. Turning, you threw his trunks at his face. "Go change," You laughed, shaking your head.

Lando grinned underneath the trunks as you turned the tap on to wash your sugar-coated hands.

Lando had removed his trunks, left naked with his hard, reddened cock slapping against his stomach, and was about to put on the new ones when a thought passed his mind.

You paused your hand-washing and froze when you felt Lando's arms wrap around your stomach, pulling you close to his bare body. "Lando," You yelped, feeling a shiver cross your body, "What are you doing?"

Lando peered down at you through his thick eyelashes. He tucked his chin into your shoulder, placing a brief kiss. "What?" He asked innocently, "I'm just washing my hands. I can't get the new ones dirty either."

You watched through the mirror as he pressed his body into you, washing his hands under the tap, ridding the tackiness on his hands.

You sucked in a sharp breath, feeling his cock push into your backside. It was bare, you realised, as the heat spread into you. Your eyes flickered to Lando through the mirror, squinting at him. He wasn't...

Lando caught your eyes staring hard at him. "Don't look at me like that," He whispered into your ear, a loose grin hanging on his face. His wet fingers travelled to the poorly tied lace coverup you wore, undoing the knot with ease. The coverup fell against your shoulders, revealing your bikini and body in all it's glory.

"You have to clean up as well," Lando shrugged, eyes fixated on you through the mirror. "You made a mess," He murmured, wetting his fingers with the water once more before placing it against your chest.

You pressed your lips tightly, feeling his fingers drive down your skin and underneath your bikini top. Lando's fingers brushed your hardened nipples, making you shudder under his touch. His fingers trailed across your breasts, wiping away any of that sticky residue that you had missed. Bringing his fingers to his mouth and taking a wide lick of them, Lando grinned at you. "You know... I can't stop picturing you sucking my dick like that ice lolly. Never thought I would be jealous of an ice lolly."

You couldn't help but smile in amusement. You pulled away from his hold and turned to face your boyfriend. "Yeah?" You hummed, hands trailing down his chest. Lando had been working out a lot more these days for F1; compared to before his abs had become more prominent and toned. You loved Lando no matter what he looked like, but there was something about the way his skin flushed when you touched his torso.

Lando's breath hitched as your hand had ever so naturally found it's way to his cock. His cock, if you could say it, was pretty. It was average in length and with a nice, filling girth, stretching all of your holes wide.

Your fingers brushed across the tip of his head, just grazing his slit. You could feel Lando jolt in your hands as he muttered, “Fuck.”

You opened your mouth, letting a drop of saliva full into his cock. Hand wrapped around it, you gently rubbed natural lube up and down his shaft. Lando’s jaw clenched at the warm liquid nestling around his cock, letting a sharp exhale through gritted teeth.

Slowly you sunk down to your knees. The tiled floor was cold against your burning skin but it didn’t matter: you were too focused on what was right in front of you; cockdrunk. Your tongue darted out to swipe your lips before pressing a light kiss to his cock. Lando could feel himself twitch, aching to be in your mouth.

He watched as your lips opened like they did on that ice lolly. Going down in his cock, your lips stretched and your mouth hollowed.

Lando groaned at the warmth surrounding his cock. He bit down on his lip, watching his cock disappear into your mouth. Your eyes were on him as you sucked him, teeth barely grazing his skin.

"Fuck, you look so pretty like this, Y/N," Lando sighed out, "On your knees for me. I can't imagine the mess you made between those legs of yours, hmm?"

You moaned in response, sending a vibration around his cock. You briefly pulled away from him, making Lando grunt in slight annoyance at the loss. "These lips, my pussy.... all yours," You winked at him before returning to his cock.

Lando tensed at your words, letting a grin overtake him. "Yeah? Let's see about that throat, baby?" His hands reached your half dry and half damp, salty hair. Wrapping those long tresses around his hand and wrist, he tightened his grip. He could feel you open up your throat as he guided his cock down the tighter tunnel.

Lando's rasping groan made you clench your thighs, holding a barrier to the wetness leaking at of you. You could feel him begin to move his hips, beginning to push his cock into your throat.

Fighting the urge to gag around his cock, you tried hard to relax your cheeks and mouth, allowing every inch of him to be seated in your throat.

He flickered his eyes to you. Watching you take him in his mouth was a pleasure of its own. Your big eyes were glassy with tears of arousal and a haze of lust, sweat and saliva lingered at every edge of your skin, and your lips were puffy and red. Trailing his eyes further down, he spotted your bare neck in dire need of kisses, but that wasn't the most striking thing about it. It was the slight bulge of his cock in your throat making it's presence known.

Jesus...

Lando instinctively closed his eyes upon feeling your hands touch his balls. You rubbed them gently, feeling your head bob at an increased rate to match the sudden pace of Lando's cock in your throat.

"Fuck, fuck... I..." Lando moaned. "I'm gonna cum!" Lando hissed out, feeling a familiar bubbling feeling overcome. His thrusts become harder and faster, your nose flushed with his skin.

His moans became irregular and higher, chasing his release. "Fuck...." A guttural groan fell from his lips. Hot, salty white strips of his cum coated the inside of your mouth, swirling around after each drop was sucked from your lips. Almost painfully, Lando removed himself from your mouth. His chest rose up and down as he breathed out heavily.

An admiring smile came from Lando while he pulled you up to meet his face. He pushed your sweaty hair back. "That mouth of yours is evil," He narrowed his eyes playfully.

"You should shut me up then," You quipped back, sticking out your tongue that still had his cum on it.

Lando's eyes sparkled with amusement before he brought his lips to yours, darting his tongue into your mouth. The urgency in the action was understated. God, he could taste himself in you. His hands encapsulated your waist, flushing your barely clothed body to close his naked one. Your own hands travelled everywhere across his chest as the two of you kissed each other.

The muffled moans from you made Lando want to hear them out loud. Slowly he moved from your lips to your jaw. "Let me hear you, baby," He breathed out, placing smaller kisses as he reached your neck.

You let out a small whimper, neck tilting so Lando could get more access. Lando grinned at the sight of your bare neck, leaving small little nibbles across your skin. His lips eventually became settled in an area between your ear and collarbone, beginning to suck at your warmth.

"Lando," You moaned, "No, the others will realise."

Your refutes were ill-attempted even for yourself. You were dazed at the suction of his lips. His nose buried into your neck while he created a fresh layer of purple against your sun-kissed skin.

Lando released himself from your neck, eyeing down his creation with a smirk. "There. If they couldn't tell from your hair, they'll definitely know now."

You narrowed your eyes, turning to the mirror only for your eyes to widen in shock. "Jesus fucking Christ, Lando," You peered at the big purple brown splotch on your skin. "As if the 20 minutes we've spent here wasn't enough," You whined.

Lando laughed softly, standing behind you with his arms around your waist and chin resting on your head. "Well... if you make it through the shame, I can't wait to properly fuck you when we get home. You must know how much I love the way you look when I’m inside you."

Your head fell against his chest with a pout. "Why not now?"

Lando grinned before pressing a kiss to your head "Like you said... it's been 20 minutes."

#mickyschumacher #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 imagine #formula 1 #f1 smut #lando norris fanfic #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris

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matts-k1tten · 16 days

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𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞. Pt.6

Pt.5

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

summary: y/n finds her boyfriend (now ex) Chris cheating on her at a party and vows to make him feel the way she did..but in this part it switches between the characters pov’s and gets everyone’s perspective on the current situation..

warnings: swearing, slight angst, sad ass chapter man 😭

no more color coding bc i’m to lazy for that shit.

(chris pov)

“I’m done, you paid me to keep my mouth shut and I realized how stupid I was to accept that! I’m done!” I yell into the phone. “I’ll pay you more! Do not tell anyone!” The person on the other line says. “I don’t care about the money! I should’ve chose y/n over you!” I shout and hang up. I plop on my bed and cover my face with my hands.

What am I gonna do?

(y/n pov)

It’s been 2 days.

2 days of thinking, 2 days of regret, and 2 days of guilt. I just don’t know what to do I’m stuck.

Here I am now lying on my bed losing hope of everything that I once believed in. Chris and I, repairing the triplets bond, and all the rest. Don’t get me wrong I still love Chris but I can’t be with someone who is a cheater. I’m staring at my ceiling trying to brainstorm ideas to make the triplets bond normal again and Chris and I at a good place. Nothing came out yet. Every idea leads to a dead end. I know deep down that their relationships will never be the same again.

But I just refuse to believe it.

All I could do is lay in bed and grief about it. Someone else’s family was falling apart and it was my fault. I was truly alone now. Nick hates me, Matt doesn’t want to speak to me and Chris…Chris…is feeling the same way I am right now. My ideas kept hitting dead ends after dead ends after dead ends. It was like everything I thought of gets shut down right away. The only thing I could do was think and think and think and get nowhere.

With all my thinking I go deep into my thoughts.

Chris was all over me before the weeks he stopped answering me. Why did he randomly start to ghost me?

(nicks pov)

“Nick!” Matt screams from the stairs. “I’m going out! Make sure to lock the doors ‘nd shit” Matt says from below the stairs. “You’re going out again?” I ask. “Yeah? Why not?” Matt replies. I shake my head to myself. “Nothing, have fun!” I yell at Matt and hear him walk down the stairs and out the house.

This whole thing is a disaster. Ever since y/n left, Matt has been going out a lot, I don’t even know where he’s going, and I haven’t seen Chris come out his room once. I only hear him in the early hours of the morning in the kitchen getting a snack or something. Other than that I barely see him anymore.

I’m watching a movie with popcorn when I hear faint knocks on my door. I look at the door and pause the movie. “Come in”

The door opens and Chris steps in with his hair a mess, eyes red and puffy, and had a blanket wrapped around his body. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Chris doesn’t look at me as he waddles over to the other side of my bed and crawls in. I pull that blanket over him and rub his back that’s faced to me. “Do you wanna talk about it?” I whisper. Chris shakes his head no. “Not today.” Chris mumbles. “Okay.” I whisper and pat his back softly as he shuts his eyes and quickly drifts off to sleep, breathing loudly.

I sigh and shake my head, turning away from him. It’s just, something seems really off with the whole thing. I know Chris he wouldn’t just..cheat on y/n he loves her so much. This doesn’t feel right. I need to get to the bottom of this.

(matt’s pov)

The sky, the stars, the moon, everything is beautiful at night. It makes me feel calm. The night helps me think. I love to sit under the moon and stars and just think, about everything. I’m not a party type of guy. I don’t drink much, I sure as hell don’t smoke, I can’t dance and I don’t have the energy to deal with any sweaty, drunk people. I love being alone. It’s better than being surrounded and overwhelmed by my brothers constantly asking questions. What really been on my mind is y/n.

Not just y/n, Chris, Nick, and everything else like how did this happen..? Digging really deep into my thoughts I never really thought Chris was the one to cheat on his girlfriend let alone y/n. He’s in love with her he’d never do such a thing. But what possessed me to try to sleep with her? I’ve always found her attractive but I never felt attracted to her like that. Was it the drinks? The vibe? Or me in general?

“Fuck” I whispered to myself. I needed to calm down and make things right. But I have a feeling this will forever impact our relationship. But we have to get somewhere right? I just…need more time to process things.

(mia’s pov)

“Shit.” I whisper to myself. “Why won’t that work?” I ask the person on the other line. “Cause it just won’t! now make another plan or this thing is gonna fail, got it?” The person on the other line says. I sigh harshly. “Got it.” I whisper as the like cuts off leaving me there. This whole thing was just very, very complicated. But it was kind of entertaining.

Yea, yeah I know that y/n is my best friend ‘n all but sometimes I get satisfaction when I see drama. Don’t call me crazy but I think this whole thing is fun! It’s not my problem and all I have to do is sit around and watch what goes down. Or do I have to watch?

(nicks pov)

it’s been about a few hours since Matt left and it’s about 1am. Chris is still asleep in my room and I’m just sitting on the couch cooling down, thinking about everything. I really can’t get my mind off the whole thing. Chris cheating on y/n, Matt even trying to sleep with y/n, and Mia..she really is the different one here. She doesn’t even play a role in this situation she’s only here because y/n is her best friend. Which to be honest doesn’t feel right to me. I mean, why is she here if she shouldn’t be? This isn’t even her problem and she’s sure as hell not included in it so why is she just spectating?

Who is the girl Chris cheated on y/n with? Do we know her? Does Mia know her? Did Chris know her?

My thoughts were cut short when Chris calls my name from my room. I pause my thoughts and answer. “Yeah?” I yell from the living room. “Can you c’mere” I put down my snacks and stomp up the stairs to my room and meet Chris sitting up on my bed. “You ready to talk?” I ask. He nods and pats the spot next to me. I walk over to the spot next to Chris and look at the side of his face as I crawl on. Chris takes a deep breath and starts. “I…don’t know what happened when I did it.” Chris breathes out. He looks at me and I nod for him to keep going.

He turns away. “I love y/n with my whole heart I really do.” He sighs and shakes his head. Suddenly, his body language changes. It sorta looks like he’s growing frustrated. “I can’t hide it anymore.” He whispers. My face cringes with confusion. “What?” I whisper and put my hand on his shoulder. “It wasn’t my fault!” He screams and starts to cry. “It’s okay! You’re alright.” I say and pull him into a hug. He shakes and lets out sobs while clinging onto my shirt.. “I-it was-“ Chris gets cut off by Matt bursting through the door.

“Chris I’m sorry!” Matt screams with his hand still cupped around the knob. Chris looks up and meets Matt’s eyes. Matt’s face changes when he notices the state Chris was in. “Oh shit.” Matt whispers and walks slowly over to Chris. Chris leans away from my hug and looks at Matt who is now in front of him. Matt shakes his head still looking at Chris. “I’m sorry, Chris I really am. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have talked to y/n, you’re my brother and I should’ve gotten your side of the story first and-“ Chris lunges at Matt pulling him into a hug making Matt stop talking. Matt hesitates for a moment before wrapping his arms around Chris and hugging him back.

Chris lets out a sigh of relief and squeezes Matt harder.

I smile and pat Chris’s back. Chris pulls one arm away from Matt and yanks me into the hug. I laugh and hug them back.

(y/n’s pov)

I feel so alone. I feel like someone dug a hole in my chest and ripped out my heart. I feel like I need a hug. So with that, I dragged myself out of bed, brushed my teeth, threw on a hoodie and drove myself to Mia’s.

I arrived at her front door in a matter of minutes and used her spare key under her doormat and let myself in. I shut the door behind me quietly and heard Mia talking to someone. I thought she had someone over until I heard my name.

“Y/n is gonna figure out soon, how do we prevent that?” Mia says.

I assume she’s on the phone since I didn’t hear anyone reply.

“I don’t know Makayla! Didn’t you already say that Chris called you this morning, wanting to stop!”

Makayla? As in my ex-best friend?

She goes silent, listening to her voice. “Well clearly paying off everything of his isn’t enough!”

What the fuck?!

“I only did this because I never liked y/n and I wanted the money you gave me to do this whole thing!” Mia yells.

Ouch.

I quietly tip toe out the house and quietly shut the door, running to my car and hopping in. I throw my car in drive and speed away from Mia’s house. I couldn’t help the tears that poured from my eyes.

My best friend is against me?

——————————————————

a/n: i’m so sorry it took so long to post guys im working on so much things right now and i had to decide on how this part was going to go so i hope yall like it and enjoy!!

taglist: @vinniehackerslefttoe @stars4matt @stunza @goldenminutes @mama-84 @realuvrrr @braindead4l @mattsjournal @chrislapdog @gvf23 @emma4eva @cosmicmistake42069 @breeloveschris @sturnsjtop @cammie4298 @rubyjaneaxx @sturniol0s

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thecrenellations · 20 days

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I love this image of them facing each other, and there’s just … so much that’s true and untrue in his statement.

Marthe is correct: Francis ran off with her girlfriend and the Dame de Doubtance was more than okay with it.

Now, however, he’s been stopped from returning to Russia/Güzel BY MARTHE, so he sure doesn’t have her anymore! Neither sibling does.

Güzel had him - he was the jewel in her jewel box. He chose to go with her in order to ensure the PiF crew’s safety. He didn’t know if he would survive when he made that promise, and he didn’t want to survive. He only started sleeping with her after being faced with the fact that she was harming someone else in his place. He didn’t love her, he’s in love with someone else, and she sent him Gabriel’s dead body in a sarcophagus.

It’s not like Marthe knows the details of that. It’s been nearly four years. He still stole her girlfriend, right after the turning point in their relationship as siblings, right after she helped him heal with shared poetry.

They’re no jewel and jewel box, but you know whose relationship is also messed up? Marthe and Jerott’s. <3

As Marthe points out soon, she has Jerott! She completed the dysfunctional swap, and they’re still married … so does she arguably have more than Francis has?

Speaking of marriage, Francis is currently married to the person he’s in love with who loves him back and is perfect for him and — yeah okay this whole book is about how much of a mess that is. But still.

AND TRULY. From Marthe’s perspective, her little brother has always had all she does not, for the arbitrary reasons of legitimacy (lol) and gender. She has known this her entire life. And the reader learns that her life will end in place of his, the catalyst to his happiness and meaningful future. This exchange is about Güzel, but even discounting her, as complicated and traumatic as his own life has been, Francis’s statement is laughable.

“the palms of his hands, yielding and empty” … Is there nothing in the cup for me? 😭

He says this mere seconds after kissing her husband and making him bluescreen. Francis….

And as always, I may be wrong and I’m sure there’s even more …

#on the cheeks and Philippa did it it too but … also by the end of the night Jerott’s going to ask if he can return to fight with him again #beating even Marthe’s prediction of the next morning #oh NO the next morning! yikes!#anyway #I love these two #crawford siblings forever #marthe #francis crawford #lymond #checkmate #lymond chronicles spoilers #something i #now I’m just thinking of them continuing to poke at each other about guzel and jerott WHILE MARTHE IS PRETENDING TO BE A GHOST #and also being possessed #but the marriage/mistress sniping coming from that chair is all her #but also she wants the best for him! in a way! her methods and advice are awful sometimes! But she does!#sometimes they’re even more brilliant than awful #and then when camille is cursing him he warns her against harming marthe … I love that too #they really could have had it all #(a less antagonistic relationship)

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macabrecake · 2 years

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okay okay so love your Leon sandwich fic, like I swear I read it every few days. It's amazing. So how about another Leon sandwich, but this time, with innocent reader, and older Leon is like, "she doesn't know yet, but she likes it here." and "she likes it like this." 💕

Cilantro!! ❤️❤️❤️ First off I need to say I love everything you write like Mechanic and Papa Leon are G O D tier and always put me on my knees for real 😭👌🏻And I like where this is going already! I said it before I need to give Rookie Leon more attention so this is perfect. Plus who doesn't love a good fulfilling Leon sandwich?

Nsfw under the cut, Minors please don't touch this it's filthy.

Being the newest rookie to join the RPD was much like any other job, it had it's ups and downs. But they're easier to face when you have a partner like Leon Kennedy. Another rookie cop much like you who was ready to serve and protect, you know you can always count on him and that sweetly adorable face that's always so determined to help in any way he can. However, fighting a zombie outbreak wasn't what either of you had signed up for.

Nor was it on your list to be hidden away in a room of the department where you can freely be a moaning, crying mess at Leon's dick rutting into your slippery cunt while an older version of him, who turns out to be your husband some time in the future, keeps you caged in place between them. From an outside perspective, no words in the human language could explain how batshit crazy that sounds. But with the way Leon's future counterpart expertly works your body like an instrument he's practiced for years, pulling sounds you had no idea you could produce and cause you to feel sensations you never knew existed until now. Who can deny that?

Plus he's practically the spinning image of your partner. Just older, beautifully older might you add because time has been very very kind to him, somewhere in his 30's he mentioned earlier. More confident, and definitely showing the experience he holds in the way he guides rookie's hand to your weeping clit. "She doesn't know it yet, but she likes it here." With that said he shows the 21 year old the pattern of how to press and rub his fingers against your throbbing pearl just right. Like pulling the trigger on a gun, your back suddenly arches off of the agent to press your bare chest against the rookie with a loud mewl you couldn't control to keep silent even if you tried.

Of course you're embarrassed about the sound as soon as it comes out, making you cover your face with a shudder. Much to the amusement of both Leon's as your hands are gently pulled away for you to see again. "So you always sounded pretty." Older Leon deeply hums while gently nibbling your ear, smirking to himself at the sight of goosebumps raising on your skin wherever his lips touched, "Good to know."

You would've shyly hid your gaze from him again if your position between the two blondes wasn't changed, finding yourself being slowly sunk back down onto rookie's cock again with a soft gasp just as he buries his face in your neck to conceal a loud groan at your tight heat taking him again. Pretty blue eyes then silently look to his elder counterpart for some assistance, which he's more than happy to provide by grabbing the supple flesh of your hips to pick you up and whispers, "She likes it like this."

Then grinds you down on rookie in a way that has your eyes rolling in the back of your head, much to the agent's pleasured little grin. Meanwhile, the sweet little rookie cop can't help but subconsciously bite into the crook of your neck to fight back another loud moan almost bordering on a whimper- and fuck was it cute. So cute you had to reach back to run your fingers through his hair with a quiet whimper. Which you feel him smile at, he definitely gets the gist now.

Rookie uses his arm to hook your leg up while the agent hoists up the other and squishes you closer. Leaving you suspended off the floor in a spicy little sandwich as rookie Leon pistons his dick into your aching walls, while agent Leon's fingers return to lovingly play with your sopping wet clit that was begging for some attention. Once again filling the room with an array of raunchy squelching and heavy breathes against sweaty skin. So messy.

So perfect.

"That's it, sweetheart. Doing so good, isn't she rookie?"

"Can't wait to call her 'Mrs. Kennedy' someday."

Christ above you could thank every star in the sky for getting this lucky. Between their sweet murmurs and loving ministrations your body burns even hotter. Like Icarus flying too close to the sun. Until you melt and fall into that breathtaking release. Clinging to agent and rookie both when your cum gushes between them and onto the floor. Your tongue bearing a mind of its own as it chants for the rookie, your husband to be.

Mrs. Kennedy...

You like the sound of that already.

#I don't know why but I was SO stumped on how to write this one out 😔#so I can't say it's as good as the first one #but it's here so woo!#✨ leon sandwiches for days! ✨#leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil 6 #resident evil 2 remake #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy smut #re6 leon #and re2r leon!#again!#they're the best duo for this and I love it

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minimallyminnie · 11 months

Text

Gift for @enassbraid!!!

Summary- Rui just thinking about you. Wait…maybe a bit too much about you…

Gn Reader, Rui Kamishiro x Reader, Fluff, really fluffy, like little to no angst, no tw needed! Pre relationship, huge crush.

My Thoughts Shall Follow You.

Rui isn’t the type of person to really focus on someone who isn’t he friend

Unless it’s the lovely and amazing audience of course!

The people he really focuses on is his parents, Tsukasa, Nene, Emu, Mizuki and co.

But any random person who might judge him?

Nope! Not his problem!

…

But. He met you.

You for some reason, didn’t judge him in a bad and weird light.

Saying strange things to him…

“Nice robot Kamishiro! It looks great!”

Or just saying a nice greeting to him

He scanned you in case you had some sort of strange virus or something

Even analyzing your intentions

But, you genuinely wanted to get to know him…

What on earth is the matter with you?!

He’s the “weirdo kid”. Your reputation is going to get ruined like what happened to Tsukasa!

Well Tsukasa was already excluded like them but still! He’s weird!

But you continued to ask him questions, not crossing his boundaries

Even talking to Tsukasa and Nene!

What?!

One day, during lunch Tsukasa called you over to the rooftop to eat with them

Course you didn’t say no

He put up his guard in case you were messed up but even so, you just talked normally to the two of them

“Do you think I should play an evil villain in our next show to try something new or a shining hero?”

“Hmm…why don’t you try a play in the perspective of a villain to show their side of the story? That way, it’s something new but you have a clearer image of a misunderstood villain.”

“That’s actually a good idea! Rui! We must do this idea! As a shining star, if this is what our audience could like, our job is to make them smile!”

“What do you think Kamishiro?”

It’s actually a good idea…you have a real smile of curiosity on your face…

“Fufufu~ I think it’s a wonderful idea! Let’s talk it over with Nene and Emu later though. Wouldn’t want them to be surprised by this unexpected direction!”

Tsukasa high fives you and you look really happy at the fact that he liked your idea

When they go with the idea, he invites you along not expecting you to actually go

But you did, in the front row with Emu’s showtime pass (You two had met after one of the days at school, the girl happily tackling you to the ground as she thanks you for helping with the show.)

During the show, he sees how your eyes twinkle with delight and how amazed your expression looks

The flowing movements and dramatic shifts, the well written story…you just had to!

He thinks some people in the audience teared up at the villain’s backstory just like you

In the end, when they all bow to the audience, he can see you stand up and cheer for them

You go backstage and congratulate all of them, smiling at them with bouquets for all of them…

…Your smile is the only one he really focused on during the show, wasn’t it?

He trades numbers with you and let’s you call him by his first name afterwards

Your messages consist of many things

You: Rui, what did you do to Tsuka?

Cheshire: Well! I misheard him and heard him say “We should put on these ants.”

You: Next?

Cheshire: I gave him pants with decorative realistic ants on it!

In reality, he said we should put on these pants like the ones with cloud on the cuffs but he fainted when he saw those ant pants!

You: Is he okay?!

Cheshire: Yes! He got caught by Nenerobo!

You: Jfc Rui, you’re going to give him a heart attack one day 😰

Cheshire: New inventor of black plague?

You: NO

Cheshire: [|87

You: RUI NO, WE CAN’T BE IN A PANDEMIC BECAUSE OF A 17 YEAR OLD 😭😭😭

…

Yeah…chaotic.

But you always go with him, and slowly he lets down his walls carefully

And inside his walls crawls his thoughts of you.

Leaking into the main core of his heart.

Your shining expression when you see one of his shows.

Your attempt on trying to replicate one of their dances alongside Tsukasa.

Your kind words to him and his friends family.

The laugh you give that plays his heartstrings.

You’re engraved in his head 24/7.

He’s sitting in the stage taking his lunch break when all of a sudden he thinks of you. A startled look on his face.

“Rui, are you alright?”

“Tsukasa-Kun, is it normal for me to be thinking of the same someone randomly everyday?”

“Randomly? Hmm…I don’t think it’s randomly. You think of things that you like, you don’t randomly think of someone.”

Rui’s blushes just a tiny amount

“If this person…makes me feel weird…is it..?”

Tsukasa looks at him with surprise before grinning at him with genuine excitement

“I think you’re in love with that person then!”

And Rui’s eyes widens as he blushes, no words coming to his mind for once. He feels Tsukasa happily laugh as he pats Rui on his shoulder.

He’s in love.

He’s in love with you.

And oh, his smile is wider than ever as he classifies it.

Yhhshshsjsj just a random gift for my moot

Fluff and stuff for her favorite man

No, Tsukasa does not have a crush on Rui or Reader, don’t take it like that man. I’ll say something if he does 🤨

#minniemoots #mindlessclow #x reader #project sekai x reader #gn reader #rui kamishiro x reader #kamishiro rui x reader #fluff #project sekai fluff

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mulletmitsuya · 4 months

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I hated the tr ending so badly. Not because it was rushed or anything. Wakui could have fleshed out the last timeline so thoroughly and logically and I would still hate it because the ending itself goes against what I felt the story stood for in the first place. He replaced all the characters for fakes, none of the characters we were intoduced to had happy endings because they either are totally different people or re lived their life to avoid healing. The ending basically proved izanas last words right "there's no saving me" yeah I guess not if the only way to help everyone is to make sure their lives never happened the way it did. Horrible I hate it so much. Also one ship I hate is rinzu or ranzu because they don't even interact once and it's so popular for no fucking reason other than "its hot" and tbh they would prolly hate eachother like petty bitches, they would NOT get along at any point. Also Koko and amane ship because if people actually read the manga with their eyes open it would not make sense. Anyways thanks for letting me be a hater in ur askbox, I love your blog btw

This is long, also tw for typical tokrev themes and sa

I think you're the first person who has the same opinion as me lmao😭. I also didn't believe it should have had an ending like that at all because of the themes that had been set up during the entire story. I understand people's perspectives of "It's Wakui's manga and it's his ending he can do what he wants" but media is supposed to be talked about, discussed and even criticized at times. That's like, the whole point of publishing stuff. As an enjoyer and supporter of Wakui's manga, I feel like I have the right to question some inconsistencies and contradictions (not directly attack him tho, that's never okay. like people who send death threats over ships and stuff that's messed up) that showed up in the ending. I also believe lots of people didn't really take it seriously as a manga idk. It had some very serious topics that people seem to forget about. For example: suicide, abuse, abandonment, child neglect, substance abuse, extreme violence, rape, prostitution etc, and I think people just kinda see it as a silly manga that has cool characters they like. And that's okay. It's okay to not take a piece of media seriously and enjoy it for the sake of enjoying it, not everything needs to be critically analyzed, but stop shitting on the people who take it seriously enough to question why the fuck it ended how it ended. Lots of the discourse took place between critical analysers who wanted an author to finish the manga by sticking to the themes and messages he has set up the entire time versus casual enjoyers who just wanted everyone to be happy for the sake of liking the characters. And I completely agree with the Izana thing!!!! You cannot claim to have saved someone by rewriting their entire life!!! Takemitchy was not supposed to be god!! Also, isn't the moral story of time travel that you should never ever do it? Because you win some, you lose a whole lot fucking more. I thought Draken dying was setting up that narrative. That saving Mikey, was gonna fuck up a whole lot. Isn't that why Chifuyu broke down?

Idk about you guys, but dark impulses being a curse disappointed me quite a bit. I thought it was supposed to be a symbol of Mikey being deeply mentaly ill. And that he had to deal with it head on and not run away all the time (this was Takemichi's entire storyline basically and the the main theme of TR). I just feel like it sucked because the message of the ending, whether Wakui intended it or not, was that you can't be fixed without magical time traveling. Although the story had some fictional aspects, it was realistic at least. I thought they'd deal with everything that wasn't time travel realistically.

Any ship with Sanzu and the Haitani's is hilarious to me and although I don't ship any of them seriously, the fanarts fun to look at some time (and you're right I think they look good together cause they're hot😭). You are completely correct about them not liking each other tho. It's actually canon. Idk if you remember during the three deities fight when Ran hit Haruchiyo with his baton? Nothing but pure malice between their eyes😭. The Koko and Akane ship actually triggers me because one thing about me? I'm not comfortable with large age gaps. Akane was 5 years older than Koko💀. And I didn't know people took what she said to him seriously. I thought she was just trying to not hurt his feelings? Koko and Inupi were around 7/8 when the fire happened. Meaning Akane was like 12/13. Uhhh Idk bout y'all but I don't think a 13 yo would be attracted to someone that young. And waiting for them to be of age is...😶. Be fr.

#ty for the ask <3 #anon this took me so long to write but i enjoyed it #i'm so serious about this tokyo revengers shit😭#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers manga #tokrev #tokyo rev #rinzu #ranzu #koko x akane #thanks for liking my blog i always appreciate your support and ily #tw: sa mention

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jamesunderwater · 27 days

Text

since I'm way too awake for 1am and on a Noah Kahan kick anyway, I've decided to construct my Ideal Setlist 🤩 based on what I've seen from his shows so far this tour. there's a good amount of variety between them, so who knows what I'll get! but here's the dream:

OMFG HE PLAYED SO MANY SONGS AT THE LAST THREE SHOWS I'M GONNA FUCKING THROW UP IF HE PLAYS 22 SONGS INCLUDING 'ANYWAY' AND 'GROWING SIDEWAYS'!!!!!!!! okay anyway i'm gonna be incredibly normal about this show, so *clears throat*

Dial Drunk

New Perspective (because he plays it at every show)

Everywhere, Everything (between this and Dial Drunk my voice will be hoarse three songs in)

False Confidence (again, inevitable)

Forever (!!! I can't wait!!)

She Calls Me Back

All My Love

Maine (😭😭😭😭 I WILL DIE HAPPY IF I HEAR THIS LIVE)

Pain Is Cold Water (inevitable, but so excited to hear it for the first time!)

You're Gonna Go Far 💔

Growing Sideways (a spiritual experience if i've ever had one)

Anyway (i'll never recover)

No Complaints

Mess (i'll be healed forever)

Bad Luck (i know there's little chance for this one but i'm putting it out there for the universe to consider)

Carlo's Song

Call Your Mom (if he actually plays both this and Carlo's Song he'll need to pay for my resulting therapy)

Orange Juice

Northern Attitude

ENCORE: The View Between Villages

Stick Season

Homesick (BECAUSE CAN YOU IMAGINE THESE TWO SONGS BACK TO BACK??? MY VOICE WILL BE DONE FOR!!!!)

#listen I know it's SO unlikely he'd actually play mess & bad luck & carlo's song & anyway but 22 songs is A LOT OF SONGS #it could happen!!!#but literally it DOESN'T MATTER what songs he sings or what order he sings them in it's going to be life changing and i CANNOT WAIT!!!!#noah kahan #ramble tag

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idyllic-affections · 5 months

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OMG THE LORE OF THE IMMORTAL HARBINGERS

Especially for La Signora, because she used to go to the Akademiya about 500 years ago, and if Dottore was already in the Fatui 400 years ago (during the Tatarasuna incident), and therefore had been expelled a while ago, they could have been attending as students at the same time. Meaning that La Signora might have seen Dottore in his scrawny Akademiya scholar phase. (okay I know he probably wasn't that scrawny considering he strangled Sohreh to death but yk).

Plusssss if the theories about Colombina being a Seelie or one of the moon sisters are true, then she's probably been a live for a gazillion years and may have also seen Dottore when he was young.

So like they could both just bully him for it AND THEN ANYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM WOULD JUST BE STARING AT THEM LIKE D: BC THEY THINK DOTTORE'S GOING TO OBLITERATE THEM, BUT INSTEAD HE JUST GETS GRUMPY BC KILLING HIS COWORKERS IS NOT SMART AND WON'T GET HIM ANYTHING OTHER THAN MORE WORK TO DO.

I mean, Colombina did kind of already do it in A Winter's Night Lazzo when she commented on how young he looked and Dottore was like >:(

I love Dottore (me when mental illness 😍), but I also want to see him get bullied by other immortal Harbingers bc everyone in Teyvat is terrified of this man and yet these people are here like "L imagine getting kicked out of the Akademiya"

I'm sorry if this is extremely disorganized; my thoughts are always chaotic 😭 (ADHD core 😍😍😍)

Anyway, bye bye and I hope you have a good day!!!

YOU GET ME. YOU GET IT. IDK WHY I HAVEN'T FOLLOWED YOU BACK YET, YOURE ALWAYS IN MY NOTIFICATIONS WITH THE MOST REAL TAKES EVER 🙏🙏🙏🙏

signora when dottore: lol i got my degree and you didn't. loser.

YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS. EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS. PLEASE. THEY'RE ALWAYS IN MY BRAIN. I DON'T EVEN LIKE DOTTORE (i am one wrong step away from becoming a dottore liker though LMFAO i walk a dangerous line as a pantalone liker......)

dottore: no lover? signora: no phd? 🥺

but seriously--YOU GET WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY!!! dottore was already part of the fatui ~400 years ago, and presumably already at his current harbinger status (or perhaps lower ranked, but i believe, based on his attitude, he was already a harbinger at that point).

whether it's been canonically confirmed or not, it's very very very likely that dottore is zandik. i wasn't into genshin when hyv was hinting at signora being rosalyne, but... looking back on it, the foreshadowing seems sort of obvious from a writing perspective. so, it is reasonable to assume they were at the akademiya around the same time. maybe they had no interest in one another (and probably were students of different darshans), but that doesn't really matter because they were probably there at the same time. rosalyne probably knew about him but didn't know him. he seemed infamous and shit.

THEREFORE it is COMPLETELY reasonable to assume signora would always be teasing him and shit. and we already know columbina DOES. i mean, girlie looked at him and said "you're looking young today, doctor 🤭" SO?????? THOSE TWO WOULD TOTALLY FUCK W/ HIM TOGETHER

and everyone else (save for pierro) is like ????? because what the fuck kind of messed up relationship is this.......

i bully dottore regularly and i think it's just so funmy to consider this potential dynamic.

...but, hear me out. do you think he had a hard time getting used to the silence after signora died? there's hardly anyone else on teyvat that had the guts to look him in the face and call him a loser and now the one who COULD do it died. she was harrassing him for like 500 years and now she's gone. crazy.

SO REAL FOR THAT BTW we do not control the adhd, the adhd controls us 🤝

i hope you have a lovely day as well dear!!!!! thank you for entertaining my thoughts mwah mwah /p <33

#aphelion replies: moots 🌸#fatui harbingers #fatui #il dottore #la signora

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mockerycrow · 5 months

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if you’re comfortable, could you dive more into your military family/background? like just lil facts or something, whatever you wanna share! i just love learning about stuff like this, learning about other peoples lives, especially because im a huge maladaptive daydreamer and into creative writing, n my current obsession is the military / SAS and im just curious about what things are actually like, from a personal perspective.

and if not that’s perfectly okay!! ❣️❣️

i cant say too much because the family members that have served, many of them have signed different kinds of NDAs (non-disclosure agreements, so i haven’t been told too much) but I can talk about some of my dad’s experience. My dad was in the Navy and he was a machinists mate nuclear. He worked on a submarine and worked on some things and witnessed some things he had to sign NDAs for. He managed to meet a couple of SEALs and had in depth conversations with them. My dad easily dehumanizes folks due to his time in the service, too. He was never special forces, but it’s very important even basic bootcamp teaches you to dehumanize folks. that’s the point of it!!

My dad’s dad was also navy, although i don’t remember his specific rate (rate = job, it’s the navy version of job/MOS or “military occupational specialty”) but i do remember it involved fighting, he was a ww2 if i remember right. My mom’s dad was air force, also a ww2 vet, he was a pilot of some sort, retired now. old bastard is somehow alive 😭 (my parents were born in the 60s).

a hard topic.. one of my babysitters (who is a family friend) is a veteran who went to afghanistan. (reminder im american). he didn’t come back the same and not all of him came back.. and he came back very.. violent if that makes sense?? he never hit me, his wife, or his kids, but he is very dehumanizing. he was some sort of special forces and this guy is messed up.

growing up, my dad wasn’t like.. strict, he wasn’t around too much, but you could tell the military changed his life. he always refers to the family as a team instead of individuals (the military does that to you, strips you of individualism and gives you the team mindset). he’s a great leader and he’s one of my role models as a human being in the real world. i grew up and got educated by him and the internet about the military, so i know quite a lot. if you have any specific questions about literally anything, i can try my best to answer!!!

i’m also going into the military and i’m open to questions abt that :-)

#crow answers #pls ask me more questions #i love talking about this

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housewifebuck · 4 months

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Do you have any unpopular and/or strong opinions about car care? Products people get or don’t when they should?

I’m in the freaking out about getting a cat soon stage lol

🩵💜🩵💜

hiiii<3 congratulations you have pressed my special interest button! I have extremely strong opinions on proper cat care from the perspective of a rescuer since every day I am faced with cleaning up the messes of people who do NOT take care of their cats properly. I am putting everything under the cut since this will include mentions of animal abuse/neglect etc. And also it’s going to be very long I fear.

First and foremost as I’m sure you will soon be able to tell animal welfare is something I am very very passionate about. Rescue work is my entire life. These are all things I have had to repeat over and over to people who just don’t care/don’t get it and so if some of it sounds aggressive that is NOT directed at you (Michal) 😭 I’m talking to the royal you here since this is advice for everybody.

the most important thing in the world is to make sure your cat is FIXED. if she is coming from a rescue she likely already is, but if shes not, make sure you have an appointment set up to get it + rabies and FVRCP vaccines done asap (I also recommend getting the feline leukemia vaccine, which is not usually done in house by rescues). I would even make the appointment now if you know when you are bringing her home. on top of preventing countless health issues down the road, it will also keep her from reproducing if she ever accidentally gets outside. not only is that awful for the mom cat but we already have enough homeless kittens out there tyvm. PS this is just as important for male cats.

speaking of which, do not let your pet cat free roam outside*. Ever. here is a handy article outlining just a few of the many many reason why it is a terrible and irresponsible thing to do. I dont care if you think you live in a low risk area, or if your cat seems to want to get outside, or if you've had outdoor cats before with no issue. I have had to scrape countless dead cats out of the roadway after being hit by cars because their owners let them outside. Rat poison (very commonly found around peoples houses and in trash cans), if ingested, will literally cause an animal to exsanguinate and die in agony. Other stray cats in the area could be carrying FIV/FeLV or worse. If any of your neighbors grow lilies and your cat brushes against one and licks the pollen from their fur, they will die. There’s just so many reasons to keep your cats indoors I could go on about this forever. if you absolutely must take your cat outside either leash train them (properly, dont just take them out on a leash for the first time and expect them to be okay with it) or get a kitty stroller. But there are PLENTY of ways to keep your cat enriched and entertained indoors. Cat trees, shelves, bird feeders outside, interactive toys, treat dispensers, just to name a few. Go on chewy.com and just browse. They have an excellent selection and great customer service. Another alternative is building a catio! Just make sure your cat receives regular flea/tick treatment year round.

avoid the hell out of those backpack carriers with the clear plastic windows. those are terrifying for cats to be in they feel completely exposed and the ventilation is shit. get a proper hard sided (plastic) carrier. I recommend one with two doors (one on the front and one on top, otherwise known as a top loading carrier). When you travel outside or in the car be sure to cover the carrier with a towel or blanket. This calms them down a lot. The reasons I recommend against soft/mesh carriers are: they are impossible to clean or sanitize if your cat has an accident (very common in the car) or contracts an infectious disease, they provide no protection in the event of being dropped or if you are in a car accident or if you run into a cat-aggressive dog in the vet waiting room, and especially anxious cats can and will fight their way out of them and having a terrified cat loose in your car on your way to the vet is extremely dangerous for both of you.

Expect your new cat to be scared and shy for a few days-to-weeks, minimum. This isn’t always the case, but it is more often than not. I have had so many cats returned for not being friendly enough right away because adopters were too impatient to wait. It takes cats time to decompress in a new environment. I recommend keeping your new cat in a separate room like a bathroom or small bedroom for the first few days so a) it is less overwhelming and b) once you allow them access to the rest of the house, that room will be their “safe space” to retreat to. Also normal when a cat has experienced an environmental shift are: mild vomiting and/or diarrhea (I recommend keeping the cat on whatever diet they have been fed previously and doing a slow transition to your food of choice, + add in probiotics. Proviable and Fortiflora are two brands I like, both available on chewy), hiding in one place for the first 24ish hours, and occasionally stress induced urinary issues such as UTIs. To best avoid the latter make sure their litter box is somewhere they can get to easily without encountering any human or animal traffic. But don’t put it next to their food/water obviously.

And speaking of food/water! Cats tend not to like their food to be right next to their water. I recommend placing the dishes a few feet away at least if not in separate areas of the room. Also, cats by nature do not drink enough water usually so some amount of wet food in their diet is pretty important, and water fountains/bubblers also help get them to drink more. Chronic dehydration can cause urinary issues and more. Dry food is better for their teeth but higher in carbs and a dry-only diet often leads to an overweight cat, and wet food can cause plaque buildup faster but has a much higher moisture content. A balance of both is ideal. Avoid raw diets as well as these food brands: Hartz**, kit & caboodle, meow mix, friskies.

If you keep houseplants, be very very careful. Cats are curious and love to chew on anything that smells like nature and will go out of their way to do so, but a LOT of common houseplants are toxic to cats (for example, every part of the Lily flower, if ingested and not treated immediately, will kill your cat within a day). The ASPCA has a database online to search for plants and see if they are toxic or not.

The rule of thumb with litter boxes is 1 per cat +1. So if you have one cat, you need a minimum of 2 litter boxes, preferably in separate rooms of the house. Corners and secluded areas with little foot traffic are ideal. Make sure the box is the length of your cat standing up + about 6 inches for ideal comfort. Avoid “lightweight” litter; it’s super dusty and very fine and can irritate both your lungs and your cat’s lungs.

Stay on top of your annual vet exams. Even if your cat seems perfectly healthy it’s better safe than sorry, and having a good rapport with your veterinarian makes it much easier to deal with them in the event of an emergency. And on that topic, make sure you know where your local ER vets are + their hours and phone numbers. Cats are tough and resilient but they are also fragile and stupid.

*obviously different rules may apply if your cat is feral or semi feral and cannot live happily indoors. It is not typically a good idea to try and force a feral/working cat to be strictly indoors before they’re ready. But a regular domestic pet cat does not ever “need” to be outside, nor is it cruel to keep them in. This doesn’t always stop them from being interested though, so be careful around doors until you know how your cat will behave around them.

**while the other brands are just low in nutrients, high in filler byproducts, and just overall not super healthy, Hartz brand products (especially their flea and tick medication and shampoos) have been known to straight up kill peoples pets. Like, a LOT. I have seen this happen countless times. Everyone I know who’s ever used a Hartz product has a horror story about it. Do not ask me how they’re still in fucking business.

Honestly that’s all I can think of off the top of my head but I’m sure I’m forgetting some stuff. If you have any specific questions you can hit me up, I don’t mind! Part of my job as a rescuer is educating the public so this is information I am very happy to share. Congrats on your new kitty and good luck!!!!

#catposting #I know some people are gonna disagree with some of this and I honestly don’t care #you cannot even imagine the things I have seen as a rescuer and so many of those horrors could have been prevented by people following #this advice #so yes feel free to send follow up questions or whatever but I’m not going to debate any of this with anyone #asks #office hours

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keelywolfe · 4 days

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Ooooh boy I hope this latest installment leads these two to finally sit down and TALK. Or at least drop-kick them in the right direction. Im loving the drunken-Luci shenanigans, but i also find myself wanting to grab Alastor and SHAKE HIM like a snow globe. Which is unfair to Al, considering they are both equally to blame for the wonky state their relationship is atm. But here's the thing, the story is from LUCIFER'S pov, so we can see that he's aware of how he's messed up and hurt Alastor, and he feels guilty but doesn't know how to fix it. We get to SEE that.

Alastor is the walking mystery who may or may not realize how much of a prickly capricious hypocrite he is. Alastor is the one who may or may not realize all the hot-and-cold mixed signals he's been sending and his tight-lippedness regarding things not pertaining to his deal haven't been helping clear things up between Lucifer and himself.

So yeah, Alastor being the one growing increasingly weary of hiding and seemingly pushing Lucifer is some sort of direction on the matter without even acknowledging that he's just as much to blame, makes me want to SHAKE. HIM.

But also...Luci hon, you better remember this in the morning. Al needs to hear you repeat certain things while sober😭🥺

Im loving the drunken-Luci shenanigans, but i also find myself wanting to grab Alastor and SHAKE HIM like a snow globe.

To be fair, I think a lot of people feel that way about Alastor. 😂 Which is unfair to Al, considering they are both equally to blame for the wonky state their relationship is atm. But here's the thing, the story is from LUCIFER'S pov, so we can see that he's aware of how he's messed up and hurt Alastor, and he feels guilty but doesn't know how to fix it. We get to SEE that.

Ohhh, that's the most fun part of writing from a limited third person perspective. We have no idea what's going on in Alastor's head, made all the more complicated by the fact that he's ALASTOR. I'm not sure everything in his head would make sense even if we did get his POV. (Okay, I know what's going on in his head but i don't count. 😂)

But also...Luci hon, you better remember this in the morning. Al needs to hear you repeat certain things while sober😭🥺

Gosh, I sure hope he remembers...plus the night isn't over yet. 😏

Thank you!! ❤️

#radioapple asks #radioapple #asks

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thousand-winters · 4 months

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Gonna send two more asks actually. 5 and 6 for the toh thing

5. Favorite platonic relationship?

Okay, I'm gonna have two different answers for this.

You know Dadrius has my heart and soul. Literally over here thinking and discussing Darius and Hunter's dynamic every single day of my life for more than a year already. There's just a lot with them, the problem is that while they do have a lot, it's mostly implied, and we absolutely can deduce some things, theorize others, and run absolutely wild with parallels, symbolism and this and that, but truth is we didn't see too much of them actually onscreen. So they're my favorite platonic relationship that didn't get too much time to develop in front of the audience even if it's very well implied they did.

Special mention to Darius and Eberwolf for the same reasons, lots implied, not much onscreen because we did not have the time.

Now, for the ones we actually had time on the show for...

I think the reasonable thing would be to say the Owl Trio, and while I do love them dearly, I honestly don't tend to seek out art or such with them? I think I'm gonna have to say Lilith and Eda.

I'm just... once again, I don't really talk a lot about Lilith despite how much I love her, but she's there. She's being microwaved in my head. She's rotating. She's under my microscope. She's everything to me.

That, coupled with the fact that you put a complicated siblings relationship in media and you got me, makes it so Eda and Lilith are just fascinating to me. Yeah, perhaps the transition from them being technically enemies to allies and friends again was a little clumsy, but honestly? That sort of feels right when it comes to, again, complicated relationships with siblings.

Honestly, part of why they interested me so much in the first place is because there are aspects of Lilith I see myself in, a LOT. And Eda, well, sort of reminds me of my sister. My sister even pointed it out while we watched. It's a whole thing. We are not talking about it /lh

It's just... gods, so damn interesting, especially when you consider Lilith's side of things, there's so much love and jealousy and resentment and guilt toward Eda, it's such a mess that comes out in the worst and in the best of ways. Because she has all the information on why things happened like they did, her point of view during their relationship especially in season 1 has so many layers, while for Eda it might feel a little puzzling but there's so much about why Lilith acts like she does that she just doesn't understand. So much miscommunication, so much love, so much vitriol at the same time.

They're SO good. Their little scene in King's Tide with them holding hands with their foreheads touched together, Lilith worried sick for Eda and Eda trying to joke to lighten the mood kills me every time.

6. A character you didn't expect to love? What made you start liking them?

The Collector too, actually.

I think for the Collector there's a lot of "well, in hindsight...", because they did seem far more vicious and dangerous than they actually were in that one memory in Hollow Mind, plus they seem somewhat nonchalant in King's Tide as well.

But For the Future truly opens up that perspective, it took me a while to warm up to them even so but I think in retrospective, the way they behaved makes so much sense for the fact that... he's just a kid. A kid trying to act how he has seen adults around him act, a kid that sees someone they want to know and be friends with so badly and the circumstances are SO bad but he's a kid!!! And to a certain point he doesn't get it.

He's just a kid...

I love the Collector so much now. You can tell they were also feeling all the guilt in the world during Watching and Dreaming with that one "you can at least do this" while Belos' curse was all over him and extending over his body, like... baby, no... 😭

4. Favorite romantic relationship?

This was always here, shhhh.

Ultimately I don't think too much about the couples of the show, even though they're in general so good, but I think it's definitely Lumity for me.

In part because of the impact they had, because inevitably, if someone sort of knows about TOH but doesn't really, they sure know about Lumity. But that's more of a general answer rather than a personal one so.

I just think they're so sweet, and so well done. I truly was not expecting their relationship to actually end up being a romantic one when I was watching Season 1, but I'm so glad it did. I think they did such a good job in writing them going from sort of frenemies to friends, to Amity crushing on Luz, to the crush being mutual and them pining for one another, to the nervous first steps of dating to the point we end up seeing them in, just comfortable and loving each other just as much.

There's a lot of relationships in media that become a thing just right at the end so we don't see them develop like that and I love that they got that, I love how real it is for them to have the nervous stages even while already girlfriends and to see how time made them be more natural and comfortable with each other, because of course that happens! And Luz in Thanks to Them was keeping secrets, of course, but even then you could see they were already comfortable, not so much sweating profusely every time they saw each other or anything, it started being just tender and intimate and sweet.

Lumity is just so damn good. I love Raeda and I love them too for being people in their 40s being such messes in love, they're special in a different way but I like Lumity just a little bit more.

From this ask game!

#the owl house #toh #ask games

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misterbardman · 3 months

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Okay so I just read Lore by Alexandra Bracken and just,,, wow. I really loved the worldbuilding and some of the characters like Castor! I was a little annoyed with Lore throughout the book but that’s not why I’m writing this. Spoiler warning cause I’m gonna talk about the book with no hesitancy.

Literally as soon as Castor revealed that he had no idea what happened to him with Apollo, I pretty much knew that Apollo knew something the other gods hadn’t. It makes sense, sacrificing themself to then ascend. Though I wish we got to see more of the godly stuff because if he ascended, how did literally none of the other gods know? Is there somewhere only the ascended gods could go and not the remaining ones? It is really messed up to think that Apollo ascended, then Athena, but that’s literally it. None of the others ever got the chance to figure that out, and it took those two so long to figure it out.

Also kinda disappointed we didn’t get to see what happened from Castor’s perspective. Would’ve been a bit more interesting imo.

The only plot twists I didn’t like was the one where Athena killed Lore’s family?? Could’ve kept that as Wrath and just give Athena something else to show she was desperate.

That and how Lore throughout the book is like ‘idk where the shield is’ until she needs it then ‘lol I knew all along’,,, how the heck did no one find that shield 😭 they didn’t have cameras or anything? How did she lift that manhole cover or whatever??

Final thoughts: love the world building, love Castor, Apollo, Artemis, and most of Athena. Loved getting to see how people interact in the beginning at the party for Castor. Just kinda wish we got other perspectives or a few less flashbacks (swear i was getting whiplash whenever a flashback happened because by the time it was over I was like ‘okay so what was going on-‘)

I still think it’s worth reading! I read it cause I’m still very much having percy Jackson brainrot and this was similar enough so, I love that. Also love the book because PJO!apollo is my favorite by far so seeing lore!apollo was great imo.

#Lore Alexandra Bracken #book review #book recommendations

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rekishi-aka · 1 year

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Tatort Saabrücken timeline thoughts (or: DfL was actually time travel)

Okay so this is a mashup of this post with post-KdE musings, because I obviously needed to course correct for KdE.

The whole thing only started making sense when I rewatched everything again before KdE. My hypothesis starts with DfL actually taking place in 2021 (instead of 2020 when it aired).

Okay let's look at a few facts:

Leo says Adam has been gone for 15 years

They were in 11th grade in 2006 per the yearbook in "Der Herr des Waldes" (= 16/17 years old per starting school at 6 or 7 and G8, both of which would have still been true when they were in school, Saarland only switched to G7 in 2003 and they would likely have been on a G8 track already)

The doorman at the Hofer company says he's born in 1955 (just like his car) and that he will retire in a few months

It's clearly spring (Lida is sowing peas and the next episode takes place two months later when it's obviously summer)

By this logic, their lives would look like this:

1990: Adam and Leo are born [I remember grading papers at uni for my freshmen born in 1990, I thought they were so incredibly young then and now 20 year olds never knew a pre 9/11 world, gosh I feel old 😭]

If we're keeping the actors actual birthdays, a few days apart in July (post-Stichtag babies): 1989

2006:

April: Roland Schürk falls into a coma after his...accident, after meeting Lausch in the woods

July/August: Adam and Leo start 11th grade (Adam was in Lausch's Philosphy class and Lausch only started at their school after the summer)

2007: Adam vanishes. My personal guess is sometime in spring/summer when he couldn't take it anymore...but Adam also isn't stupid enough to run in winter.

+15 years is 2022. Which absolutely doesn't work from a timeline perspective, because that would mean "Das Herz der Schlange" takes place shortly after "Der Herr des Waldes" and the whole team is a) too cozy for that in the restaurant, but also b) Roland is healed up and getting a cut Achilles tendon healed up does not happen in a matter of months, c) Roland had had time to plan his ultimate revenge, and d) they're dressed for early summer throughout the episode. I guess it could be early autumn, but I don't actually think so.

Until now, I always thought the writer had simply messed up the timeline and 15 years sounded better than 13 years. The link above assumes that "Das fleißige Lieschen" takes place in 2020, which was the year it aired.

(This is a non-Covid world, simply because in 2019, when it was shot, they couldn't know. So this is where the Tatort universe diverges, since a few Tatort franchises definitely had Covid, e.g., Berlin.)

However, again, I don't think, because: The doorman says he was born 1955 and that he is going to retire shortly.

Regular retirement age for birth year 1955 was 65 years 9 months (because retirement age rises incrementally until it reaches 67 year). It's spring. 1955+65 years 9 months = 2021

Also, a friend pointed out that Konrad Hofer delivered also the files for 2020 (150 years, 75 years for each of them), but those wouldn't be available in 2020, so this must be 2021.

Which means: "Das fleißige Lieschen" and "Der Herr des Waldes" both take place in 2021 and "Das Herz der Schlange" takes place in April or May 2022 and since Adam looks pretty hale in the promo pictures. Alternately, there could be a two-year jump to 2023, but I actially doubt it.

As for "Die Kälte der Erde":

Boris is still in prison

It's set in Mexico (or at least the dog days of summer)

Adam and Esther are bickering (which is actually nice!) but Adam is also still really mad about the SEK, and attrition would likely have taken care of that. there's a limit to how bitter and grudge-y one can be for prolonged periods of time

Plus, where was Adam living for a whole year? If he'd been with Leo, that would be really shitty to move out again after that long a while, and Leo is in far too good a mood at the beginning for that to be an issue

So it seems likely that KdE actually takes place in August 2022 [or 2023 if HdS is also 2023], which would leave sufficient time for Adam to heal up and rehab his fingers and be back in the field. This, of course, means that they weren't shattered but "only" broken [unlikely considering how it had happened, but! Tatort logic, whatever], but eh. If they want to run with it, fine by me.

This still means that the 15 years Adam is supposed to have been gone are an embellishment, but let's be honest, 15 years sounds better than 14.

I wonder if we'll be stuck in 2022 for the rest of time.

So, this leaves us with the following dates:

1990: Adam and Leo are born

If we're keeping the actors actual birthdays, a few days apart in July: 1989

2006:

April: Roland Schürk falls into a coma after his...accident, after meeting Lausch in the woods

July/August: Adam and Leo start 11th grade (Adam was in Lausch's Philosphy class and Lausch only started at their school after the summer)

2007: Adam vanishes. My personal guess is sometime in spring/summer when he couldn't take it anymore...but Adam also isn't stupid enough to run in winter. (Although my friend is right, he would be stupid enough to run in winter if it got too bad.)

2021

March/April [latest time to sow peas]: "Das fleißige Lieschen", Adam returns, Roland wakes up

May/June [two months later]: "Der Herr des Waldes", Roland gets suspicious

2022:

April/May: "Das Herz der Schlange", Roland seemingly gets his revenge on Adam for not becoming the man he wanted him to be

August-ish: "Die Kälte der Erde"

#tatort saarbrücken #timeline #dw crosspost #what a mess this is #could just anything please have a few DATES actually???#made mostly for my own amusement because I need to know #spatort #meta

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