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life-rewritten · 3 years

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True Beauty- Prince Charming, The Knight and the Ugly Duckling

Okay, let's get into it. First, I think the discourse has begun even more fiercely with the love triangle. I can see so many people complaining and crying about the treatment of Seo Jun in the show. Now I just want to say first of all that I haven't read the webtoon, it must be very upsetting to see a favourite of yours be so different and changed in an adaptation and all his good moments are given to the other guy just to make him a better lead. I get that frustration, but what can I do but analyse what the show is showing. Right now, the discourse about how toxic and creepy Suho is isn't making sense to me. I do think he is getting more hate than needed; it's fine if you're upset and hurt by how they have twisted the characters but don't come in and put all the blame on one character who isn't doing anything horrifying as everyone keeps on making it out to be. Nevertheless, I'm here to analyse the love triangle in these two episodes. I'm here to discuss more about the psychological basis of the characters, their masks, and how they show love and deal with these emotions. So without further or do let's get into this analysis, shall we?

Feelings and Emotions

First of all, episode 7 and 8 was very focused on the love square building. It makes sense because all our characters are going through feelings and emotions for people who show up and be some kind of happiness and safe space to them. This is not just Ju Kyung, Suho, Seojun but also we have an addition to Soo Jin who questions her feelings and emotions as well. In my opinion, this love square can go either way; both couples in the square all have different ways they impact or change each other. Both Seojun and Suho are great matches for Ju Kyung especially, but we also have to look at it more in-depth. Why is it that at the end of these two episodes, it was always going to be Ju Kyung and Suho who ended up together, for now, no matter what? It doesn't mean SeoJun is out of the game, in fact, I think he's more closer to having a chance with her in terms of storytelling, and how it bodes for Soojin is quite foreshadowing to be negative and worrying. So let's look deeper into the love square situation and break down what is going on so far. Who are the end game couples, who's meant to be, and who's provided more evidence they should stay together. Answer no one.

Let's get to it. First of all, as much as some people want to avoid the truth about this. Suho is Kyung's, Prince Charming. She even has a fantasy about him being exactly just this to her. I mean it makes sense; everything he's done and been to her so far has been exactly what a typical fairy tale prince charming does to a girl. Let's look at all he did in episode 7 and 8 first.

Protection and Care

We start off with episode 7, seeing just how protective Suho gets. Now don't get me wrong, it could be seen as possessive and invasive but as someone who has watched Kyung and her past instances with men, Suho is actually a great person to her. Not only does he protect her at the karaoke place along with Seojun and others, not only is her safety his number one priority (as he always shows in the show) but he also ensures that her self-esteem, her emotions, and her respect are taken into consideration. He goes so far to lose sleep (he doesn't have to do this it's just what he does for her) just to make sure that she is apologised to by the bullies who frightened her. He knows she's probably still shaken up about it, probably still thinking and fearful about them showing up again and that she has had an extensive experience and trauma with bullies before. So for her to see the bully show up and offer her a peace of mind that he's not coming for her again is so great to see. Now Seojun doesn't have to do this, but when the bullying happened because of her connection to him, he kind of pushed it off and moved forward like it didn't matter. But to Kyung, it probably still mattered because it was a moment she was scared about and Suho couldn't sleep right if she didn't feel safe. That's goals, in my opinion of what a boyfriend is. It's sweet that even in the car he saw that she was shaken up after the events, he showed her warmth and care just by holding onto her hands, he may be cold sometimes and tsundere but that's only because he's been forced to become that way because of his family life and environment. Which brings me to...

Power and Reputation

Like a Prince, Suho has a lot of power and reputation. It's how he protects Kyung he uses his powers, his talents, his abilities to ensure the bully apologises and shows her respect. He wants to make sure she knows she deserves to be treated right because she hasn't let herself feel like she's worthy of respect for most of her life. After all, people made her feel like her looks made her lower than that. I've mentioned in my previous analysis that Suho's reputation and power is both a gift and a curse. It's the mask he had to use to push people away when he thought he caused people to get hurt by being near him.

Again the teachers treat him differently because of the power he holds, due to his family background, this might be seen as a positive but it's actually a burden to him; there's a lot he had to go through because of this reputation, there's a lot of pressure for him to be this great person for people; like Seoyeon for example who Seojun blames him for not using his power and reputation to save his life, not just that he's also had his privacy invaded, we see in episode 8 when he and Kyung have the boat ride that he's been also traumatised by paparazzi when he was younger. He's always been seen just for his name and status and not who he really is. But what's great about prince charming here is that he uses this power and reputation each time to save Ju Kyung and show her the same devotion and respect that other people show him.

The Disguise

Now the issue with episode 7 when it comes to both Suho and SeoJun is that they do this in disguise. They care for her all the time in secret, and as much as both their actions are sweet and caring and important as boyfriend material, it's quite annoying that they don't come to her and show her that they care.

Episode 7 is full of hesitation from Seojun who's coming to terms and realisation with his feelings, and episode 7 is full of misunderstandings with Suho. Suho is still slowly breaking down his walls, and his coldness has been a way to protect himself from people. So it makes sense that as much as he wants to show her, he cares he struggles with knowing how to do so. Both Seojun and Suho don't have relationship experience on how to treat the girl they like. And you see in episode 7 and 8 that Suho struggles to know how to ask her out and by the time he wants to show up and tell her, he cares he gets misunderstood and is pushed back yet again. What I like about both Seojun and Suho is that immediately they know how they feel for Kyung they try to tell her and show her. That's why I think as much as Suho is the one who was more likely to be with her at this moment, Seojun isn't far behind in taking her heart if something goes wrong.

What matters is although he first tried to be Tsundere with her, Suho changed and started to try and find her and show her he cared. He wanted to ask her out, to make her know he liked her, he stopped being cold to her after episode 7 and 8. So people crying about how cold he was to her makes no sense to me. He was cold before because that's who he is, and how he's grown up to be, but once he recognised he wanted her, he didn't do anything toxic or mean to her anymore. Instead, he stood by her side, waiting for an opportunity to show her he cared. He went lengths to protect, and show her warmth, and show her support each time she cried and needed him to. Seo Jun does that too, which brings me to analysing these two scenes where SeoJun and Suho both are Prince Charming and the Knight in shining armour for Ju Kyung. As I keep repeating, both are reasonable boyfriend goals.

Comfort and Support

One of my favourite moments this two episodes is both the crying scenes of Jukyung with the respective guy. Suho sees Kyung crying over her mum, throwing away her makeup and he also sees her beating her self up over her grades. What he does again makes me like him even more as her boyfriend, he knows she worked hard, so he makes her know that, he doesn't want her to lose her self esteem again because of what people say to her. Suho is always protecting Kyung's self-esteem; he wants her to value her self as important and useful. She scolds her self because of being dumb and ugly or whatnot and how people perceive her, and he's always on her side, making sure she knows that he doesn't see her like that. He commends her effort, and he likes her for who she is. That's why she falls for him.

Not only is he the one who takes care of her in her most vulnerable moments when she feels broken and worthless being ugly but he's also there to show her support when she feels dumb and stupid. He makes her know that she's not that, and he knows she's okay being her self. It's sweet. This is different with Seo Jun who probably makes her feel comfortable with who she is because they can bicker and be themselves with each other, but he also insults her and joins in the mocking (not meanly) of her grades and her looks. Suho always in her mind shows her unconditional support and care. He gets her ramen, and he even offers to buy her new makeup to make her stop crying. And she doesn't think she deserves him to do so because she can't fathom that he could like her. However, she still has hopes that he could because of all his actions and how much she wants him to despite situations.

Now with Seojun, he has his own moment to show her that care. She cries to him about being upset because Suho doesn't like her. He probably was going to confess to her when he met up with her, but he patiently takes care of her and wipes her tears and let's her go selflessly. It was also sweet. But it doesn't hold the same weight to Kyung the way Suho's actions does to her. Right now, Seojun is on the losing side because he doesn't know who she really is without her mask. Suho does, and he's had opportunities to show her he likes, respects and wants her without it. This is why he was always going to be the one who she gave her heart to.

Friendship and Comfort

But the basis of the love triangle is friendship. Kyung and Suho not only have this need to protect and care and be there for each other, but he also knows what she likes, reads and is obsessed with even when she tries to hide it from others. She doesn't want people to know she reads the comics she does, listens to the music she does, because it doesn't match her mask of beauty and gentleness, but Suho knows all that about her because they both like the same stuff. So it's not just forced romantic feelings out of the blue that these two have had moments for, but they've been building a friendship with each other from the start, the moment he saw her and helped her when she almost jumped off the ledge in her most broken state. He's always been the person who's seen her for who she is, and the most comfortable person to speak to and be with. Now with Seojun, there's also friendship and comfort, like siblings he's also the kind of person that brings out her louder self, and she feels normal with him and comfortable because she doesn't care how he views her. So again, he still has a chance to win her heart because he also is a friend she cherishes and notices.

Soojin and Suho

And it's weird and sad because everything Suho does for Kyung that I've mentioned he also does that for Soojin. He offers her the same friendship and support and comfort and warmth. He's also seen her and known her in her most broken times without her mask. It's sad to know that he probably is one of the happiest places for her to be, amidst all the trauma and abuse she receives in her life, he's probably someone she wants to latch to, to stay happy but she can't have him now because of JuKyung. This is why I feel we're foreboding a bit of a villain back story with her; I hope not because I don't want girl hate, but it does make sense if she does end up feeling she has to do something to ensure Suho doesn't leave her side. Because he's one of the most important sources of comfort to her, he makes her feel good. It's just sad that he didn't see her as that way.

Before I continue with the analysis, I want to bring up a mirror character for the couples in the show; JuKyung's mum and her dad.

The problem with Kyung's mum

JuKyung's mum is a very frustrating character, and like all the adults in the show, she's lacking and also a negative person. She is callous and mean to people, especially her daughter, who she refuses to open her mind to listen to. She's not a monster, and she does love her daughter as shown when she is talking to her husband about wanting what's best for her and not seeing her as ugly, but her surface interactions with Kyung is a different story. It's ironic because her mum should be her most significant support and person to make her feel worthy since she went through the same thing her daughter went through. She's seen like Kyung as ugly, and people tell her this all the time. She managed to get a handsome husband which is something she holds on to but is insecure about. She keeps trying to control her husband by belittling all he does so that he doesn't feel above her or get distracted by other women.

It's why she's so adamant about kicking him out of her shop when he's selling candles because she noticed how women interact with him. I think the thing with her is that she used her grades to enter university, and that's where she met her husband and found her job, which she is known as the best. She wants Kyung to focus on her studies, not on how people perceive her because she thinks it's the way to secure a better life and way to be seen as worthy by others. Because she also struggled and didn't have belief in her self either. This is why she probably has built up this anger and need to criticise and put people down because they did that to her as they do to Kyung. It's her own mask and her own cover of trying to seem strong and worthy. Why I'm seeing mirroring with them, and Kyung and Suho are because her husband dotes on her as shown in episode 8, he's just as protective and loving to her, but also he was a singer (we all know Suho is Leo). The same unconditional, supportive and caring love that her dad shows her mum is the same Suho shows Kyung. I think that's why we saw their interaction in episode 8.

Another couple that brings up the same themes in reverse is Hee Kyung and the teacher. Hee Kyung has decided the teacher is who she wants, she appreciates him and shows him that she sees him as hardworking and necessary despite him feeling worthless because he's in debt. He tries to push her away because of his lack of self-esteem (something I think Kyung will end up doing to Suho, she'll try to hide their relationship because she doesn't feel worthy being his girlfriend etc.) but Hee Kyung proceeds to keep on showing him (same steps that Suho was told to do to show Kyung how he feels) that she's there for him and loves him for who he is.

Prince Charming and The Ugly Duckling

That's why episode 8 is focused on the ugly duckling. People probably brushed it off, but clues were pointing to it. Kyung calls her self the ugly duckling, and there's an ugly vengeful ghost who wasn't loved because of her looks by her husband that is out to find a new face to cover up her ugliness. It's not the fairytale of the ugly duckling that matters, but just the mental anguish in the tale the ugly duckling suffered from because of being seen as different and ugly. It's the same fears and pain that Kyung goes through this episode. She regresses from believing that Suho could possibly view her as a love interest because of Soo Jin being in his life. Soo-Jin is the pretty one, is the worthy one because she's just as smart, rich and good looking as Suho. She ends up going through the same anguish that both the ghost, ugly duckling go through feeling disappointed, hurt, frustrated with the people around them because of how they view themselves. Both the ghost who ends her life because she's felt rejected and brutally treated because of how she was born, and the ugly duckling who gets rejected, hurt, bullied and pushed away almost to his own mental death are symbols of how Kyung views her self, and what she was the most frustrated about when she cried to Suho.

It broke her to realise that she couldn't be with someone like him because she was less than Soo Jin even though he and her had something. It probably was all she thought was the reason she couldn't chase after and let him know how she felt. Plus the idea of losing this new friendship blooming with Soojin and Suho, when she didn't used to have people like them in her life before. Kyung broke down because of the realisation about how unfair she felt life was to her because of how she was born. She was going lengths to cover up who she was the whole trip, and Suho had been there protecting her and caring for her and seeing her for who she is but at the end of the day he was always going to be more in love with Soo Jin because she was the better person.

Which is why again Suho without knowing or meaning to shows up to show Kyung he cares for her, for who she is, and he sees her the opposite of how she's been made to feel about her self. He buys her the swan necklace. And something touched my heart when I saw it. Like it's just like him to do that when focusing on Kyung feeling and telling her self she's the ugly duckling worthless, and below others, actually, Suho sees her as the swan, he knows who she really is, he likes he for who she really is, and he's there to remind her that the ugly duckling wasn't ugly at all but was a different species and was beautiful once he matured. He was always meant to be a swan.

And Suho buying that necklace symbolises his thoughts towards Kyung, what he does for her is just remind her that even without makeup she's still worthy and she's above the rest to him. It's the same things he's done the whole episode 7-8; he fights to show her she's meant to be respected, meant to be loved (when her mum doesn't show her that), meant to be valued and meant to be seen for who she is. That's why he was always going to be the one to end up with her by the end of this episode.

Boyfriend Material

Like I said Seojun's bracelet is sweet because it's all he can give and so it's also good because he's just again being himself and being authentic towards her. For him and Kyung, it's always authenticity, comfort and warmth. But when it comes to Suho it's more than that, he sees her. He makes her love her self, not because he likes her don't get me wrong she doesn't need a guy to make her love her self, but he's the person who shows up as a reminder, the person behind the scenes who's always making her realise that she's just okay being her self. That's why she calls him a fairytale. In the end it's nice to have a prince who's rich (the necklace was expensive), powerful, and protective but Suho is more than just that to Kyung, he's her strength, her support and the one person who makes her feel good about being her self. That's enough for her.

So as much as Seojun is a great boyfriend material he doesn't have the same impact on JuKyung right now. He doesn't know the real her, even though he is great and caring and warm with her. He is just as sweet and protecting as Suho, but he's just a little bit too late. From the first time, Suho and Kyung met on that rooftop they meant more to each other. It's not just Suho who is Kyung's safe space, warmth, support etc., Kyung does the same thing for him it's vice versa, she makes him break down his walls, be vulnerable, also feel worthy (because remember he hated himself because of Seoyeon's loss). She also makes him feel seen and reminds him; he's also okay as his true self. They both do this for each other. That's why this hate towards Suho for his possessive, creepy, obsessive nature (as people call it), is uncalled for.

Suho has been made to be the cold tsundere lead because he struggles with PTSD. Yes, he needs therapy, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a good impact on Kyung, he's not toxic to her, he's actually good for her, and he is the only person after everything we've seen her go through this whole show that makes sense to be the one that she loves. There's still a lot of things they still have to heal from and deal with to get to the end, and perhaps Seojun would find a way to do more for her than Suho has done so far, but for now, Suho and Kyung are written to be each other's person so let's see what happens next.

I really mean it when I say I don't care about this love triangle. I'm only following what the show writer and director is showing, what they are making me see. Could it be different in the webtoon and I'd support Seojun more yes, but webtoon readers; it's clear that the writers have made Suho the person they think is for Kyung, and they've stolen Seojun's moments because of this, is it right? No, of course not. But it doesn't mean the show isn't good or that Suho is a monster or whatnot. It just means you have to decide if the show is worth watching if you can't deal with what they did with it. The amount of hate Suho receives in the tags is just hypocritical in my opinion, when Seojun and Suho do the same thing with Kyung. They're both as possessive and as protective and they both have their flaws. They're both sweet to her, and caring. No one is wrong, or right as the end game. But don't be too irrational when it comes to your bias. That's all I'm saying. Anyways apart from the love triangle, True Beauty continues to be a light watch that I love and enjoy, I love the relationships and the psychological conversations that can be derived from the show. I've been through what Kyung has gone through, and I've gone through moments of seeing my self as worthless and meaningless because of how society views me or has made me think about my self. That's why I appreciate her relationship with Suho and Seojun. I really relate to her dramatics and her break downs, and I like this show for being not just light at times but also serious when it talks about what the characters are dealing with psychologically. Anway that's my analysis. Let's see what next episode brings.

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #kdrama #cha eunwoo #moon ga young #lee suho #im jukyung #cwg #january #han seojun

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wrienne · 3 years

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Official Post: Writing Comeback!

I was going to post this on Twitter but realized that it became way too much text to fit in a comfortable format there. Also, since this is the revitalization of my writing and Tumblr page, I thought I might as well fuse both of them together!

This will be a semi-long but official post regarding all my writing plans. For those of you who just want the TL;DR: I haven’t abandoned any of my Ao3 stories, in fact I’ve already planned for sequels for both AHPHand DL. I’m also working on minor revisions with TET and finally writing the sequel, The Essence Prince, which I plan on posting exclusively here on Tumblr! Tumblr will also be my all-in-one hub for all my writing and art and blogging!

Firstly, about Ao3!

None of my stories on Ao3 are abandoned! I have full intention of continuing and finishing all my stories. In fact, for I have a second season planned for AHPH and a sequel to DLas well! I know it's very ambitious considering how my tempo of writing has been the last two years, but my circumstances have changed drastically since then. Not to get too personal, but I’ve wasted so much precious time and effort on people who didn’t deserve it. Although it’s regrettable, I have learned incredibly much from this experience and I feel more focused and happy than ever before!

Regarding AHPH, I feel no need to stress the actual plot and story that I have developed for it, as I want it to be a pleasant, fun and comfortable read. I don’t wanna say anything about it, not even a tease as it might disturb the reader experience and the overall narrative I’m pursuing. But there is a bigger picture to the entire story and world, which will unravel slowly but surely toward Season Two. As such, you can expect AHPH to be a very long ride!

As for DL, I have hit somewhat of a creative block in terms of the story’s pacing. However, it is not meant for a long run, and I really want to focus on finishing it as soon as possible. You can expect more familiar faces to appear in the sequel, such as Namjoon as a Sherlock-esque mastermind/private detective and Hoseok as either a chief prosecutor/lawyer or criminal psychologist. The story will be about the case that Reader cracked during her time at the police academy and made her famous among her peers!

Secondly, we’ve got my refreshed and now active Tumblr!

All my writing, whether they’re meant for Wattpad, Ao3 or original fiction, will be posted on Tumblr first! So, if you wanna get a faster look at any of them or you want the convenience of one single place where you can read everything that I write or make, you can find everything here. I wanna use Tumblr as my one-in-all hub for all my creative endeavors, making easier for both me and readers to find all keep track of all my updates and stories! And, speaking of all my creative endeavors...

Thirdly, I have not yet abandoned my dream of making webtoons! I can’t say for sure when this dream can be realized, but I’ve got two stories in the making: The Emperor’s Bride and The Dragon’s Wish. Both are based in Korean culture, mythology and history. The Emperor’s Bride is set in a pseudo-alternative Korea where the almighty tyrant and mysteriously masked Emperor seeks his first bride in a trial of one hundred women, of which one is the main character – however, she’s only joined the competition to exact her vengeance on the Emperor. The Dragon’s Wish is based in contemporary Seoul where a failing acting student is struck by a falling star and finds her destiny intertwined with a dragon – or two. Some ideas for characters for The Dragon’s Wish are already posted on Twitter!

In general, I wanna do art and draw, so outside my webtoon endeavors, you can look forward to more than just writing from me in the future!

Fourthly, I have decided to finally get back to working on The Essence Series. It’s been a complicated project to return to out of personal reasons, and I’ve also developed vastly in terms of writing since I wrote The Essence Thief. As such, I’ve been going back and forth on revisioning The Essence Thief once more, or even rewrite it completely. This has caused me mentally to keep putting the sequel on hold, which I now realize has been a horrible idea. So now instead, I have decided to simply correct any minor errors that still remain in The Essence Thief and move on to The Essence Prince! And yes, name drop for the official title of the sequel! A new face will be introduced, as the last missing piece of the OT7, and the threat of King Kwang-Jin will be dealt with as secrets crawl back to surface! I will be posting the raw firsts draft/manuscript here on Tumblr as I write them! Feedback of all kind is what I will be needing, but also the pressure and expectations from readers in order to get me to write! The final result of The Essence Prince will be a published book and sequel to The Essence Thief, so I hope you’ll be looking forward to that!

Lastly, I will be using Tumblr as a blog as well. I want to post travel and college stuff and other things unrelated to my writing and art. In regard to my previous series on my WordPress, “Writing Wednesdays”, is something that I am also considering, but let me know what you think!

Always and forever, thank you for reading! If you reached this far, I want to tell you once more how happy and fortunate I feel having so much support for my writing. It means, literally, the world to me. Thank you.

#official post #wrienne

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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February 1st-February 7th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from February 1st, 2020 to February 7th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What is the nicest thing someone has said about your story, whether its published or still a WIP?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Well, this is one I can answer right away. It's not a very straightforward answer, but I had someone reference me and my comic in an essay about reasons why they were able to love themself... It was for a creative writing class, and they just used me as an example of a greater thing (indie media)... and I only know about it because they asked me permission. but they let me read the essay, and it made me cry. I havent heard from them in a while and I really hope they're okay, but that really stuck with me in a way nothing else has. It's not really a quote, though, so the nicest comment I have recieved was "I can tell how much you love people by reading this story." It was really sweet in a way I can't quite articulate. People have been incredibly sweet to me, and I feel very blessed. I could make a long list detailing the kindness I have been shown.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Apparently Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) has made more than one person cry already. Which, to me, is pretty darn high praise, given that I've barely begun the story

Having people find it and say "THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF STORY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR" also hits a nerve. I know that feeling. You like certain themes/motifs and you wish someone would blend them together in just the right way. It can be magical.

And the last one is when I learned that children like it. A few have come forward so far - either in person or through their parents - and told me they loved it. It was around that age that I was building my own 'inner library' of inspirations for the comic. To know that I might be part of theirs, even in a small way, is just... the best?

Deo101 [Millennium]

that's all so incredibly nice <3

and now I wanna add to my list actually I don't want to interrupt, this is just a topic I wish I could sing from the rooftops about... I also had a student of mine (I am a teacher at a church) come out to me because he knew I would be okay with who he is. And, I have had people tell me it's inspiring to them, which kinda makes my heart melt. I'll stop now but, really I could go on and on about how open and loving people have been with me and my work, and how much it means to me.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Man... This is somewhat difficult for me to answer since I am so early into my comic creating journey. However, I will say that I recently got a comment on my comic Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366) that made me smile. A long time reader commented that they always read my new pages twice, once on Webtoon, and again on Tapas. This really made me realize that my work has meaning to somebody other than myself, which is definitely what I need to hear when I'm doubting myself.

Mei

It's so nice reading about nice comments people have gotten and honestly... y'all deserve it!! I need to be in a better habit of commenting myself because I will promote comics to my friends for days on end but I'm too shy to leave a comment, even though I love receiving comments myself. I think the nicest comments I've received have been in combination with the conventions I was at last year. People told me that they thought the comic was funny, which I am incredibly thankful for. And one person who bought the book at the convention took the time to find it on Tapas and then comment on the latest page, saying that they'd talked to me, read the book, and that they liked it. That meant so much to me it was crazy! And another time, I was showing my book to someone at a convention and she said that she actually read the comic online, which honestly... It's so strange and surreal to me to meet anyone in real life who reads things posted online. It made my heart do smiley emoji. I think what LadyLazuli said is really right, this idea that you're a small part of someone's life or inspirations or just general day is pretty amazing?! Also this one guy commented on every page week to week with the same 'vase' joke on several updates and honestly the commitment was truly astounding

kayotics

I think some of the nicest comments come from one specific reader, who has mentioned a couple times that going back and reading the comic has helped them through some tough times. There was also one person who went to the effort of contacting me after their books were damaged from flooding, and wanted to buy new books to replace the old ones. This was wild since they wanted to do something so inconvenient (paying with cash by mail, and I didn't even have an online storefront in the first place) to replace the books.

twothirty

really early on i had 1 reader that would leave in-depth analysis of some character interactions and they were were spot on and made me really feel like people cared about this story . The other interaction that really stands out was doing the convention circuit last year I had a reader come up to say hi, and usually that interaction is just "i love your comic!" (which is amazing) but he also then talked to me at length about the story and again it was this feeling of just knowing someone out there cares about what you're doing. Comics feels particularly isolating so interactions like that really keep me going.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

I've had two different readers tell me our comic has brought them joy during bad days. Sadly one of them I haven't heard from in 2 years and they were going through some rough times. I hope they're okay

Nutty (Court of Roses)

The nicest thing I've heard was when my coworker told me him and his daughter were reading it, and he told me that she's "drawing like me" with panels and stuff and keeps asking him "how do i make the bubbles" So they're gonna work on that and then he's gonna show it to me.

keii4ii

Any time someone gets what I'm trying to do with the story. I have a great fear of getting good intentioned people trashing the most important parts of my story (without realizing their importance). So whenever someone gets what the story is all about, whether as a whole or just one scene, it's a huge weight off my chest. Legit brings tears to my eyes. Even if I manage to overcome that fear some day, comments like that would mean a lot to me. Being understood has always been very important to me.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Someone recently said they wanted to get a tattoo of something in the comic and that was cool. It also means a lot when people respond well to the jokes in the comic because I put a lot into the writing to make it funny. I hope it makes someone cry someday Joe Is Dead http://joeisdead.com/read

DanitheCarutor

Ffff all my readers have been so compassionate, it's jarring! In a nice way! Choosing one nice thing is hard, every comment has been nice. I guess the most flattering is when a someone takes the time to go back to the previous chapters to link little things up with the current events in the story, or when they manage to remember in spite of how webcomics update so slowly. There was a comment I saved a while back where someone remembered a small thing in chapter 3 and was doing some brainstorming with it relating to the current chapter at the time.

Every so often someone also leaves a paragraph with some of the most motivational gushing, it's so nice! Oh! Also, there have been a few people who've asked me to print my comic so they can have a physical copy (which I'm slowly starting to do), which is super motivating knowing a couple people like my depressing comic enough to want to own a copy of it.

keii4ii

Oh man, I too have saved screenshots of some of my favorite comments, but I don't wanna share them because 1) some of them are long and 2) maybe the commenters wouldn't want their names disclosed in a different context? They are great to save for a rainy day, though!

Tuyetnhi

Oh this is hard I remember one comment on tapas that they got their aunt and cousin reading it and I was flattered! Most comments I got were about the artstyle and progression of the story, which I hope to continue if school lets me. Still, I'm quite surprised that it drove someone to get their family to read a romance about someone's dream lover lmao

also same keii!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Honestly, I have far too many comments I should screenshot. But so many of them are praising the art, and I never know how to feel about it. Like, those types of comments make me happy, but I never know how to truly feel about them.

keii4ii

Art is admittedly easier to comment on. If I'm commenting on art on anyone's comic, I try to point out how it contributes to the storytelling, rather than "ooh pretty and shiny." Pretty and shiny is valid but I'd be just doing illustrations if that were my main goal!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

But if 9/10 comments are, "Wow, the art is so pretty!" I can't really react to it much, especially since my own self-doubt is constantly reminding me of my mistakes.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've been really excited to answer this question because it gives me an opportunity to thank any and all the fans and people who celebrate our work. I've been so humbled by all of the wonderful and amazing fanart we've received, music paired with scenes from our comic, and fans even imagining scenarios of the characters themselves-- I'm constantly blown away! I do have my most treasured moment however, and that was when we were tabling at TCAF a couple years back. We had been swamped with crowds, selling, and early mornings-- it was a long day! That was until we had one person who went through the trouble to see us in person, and handcraft a drawing to deliver to us, saying thank you, and in that moment I bawled!! They quickly left after us thanking them so much, and I'll never forget that and how much it gave us a fire to see this whole project through. We have it framed and it sits in front of our cpu

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I got one comment where someone said that one of my main characters "seems sweet," and it just left me confused because, a) he's only said about ten words total, and b) in those ten words, he has somehow managed to be rude.

So how is he sweet???

But I mean, I should be happy that he seems likeable despite his attitude and reticence

Tuyetnhi

nice lmao

I do agree about the comments about the artwork being pretty and idk how to repond other than thanks lmao(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yep

That's pretty much all I can say

Because I would HOPE my art looks pretty good after a decade drawing haha

Tuyetnhi

tho tbh because of the nature of my comic, I do get the occasional thirst comment and I'm just sitting there bawling

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh yeah, I get those

Tuyetnhi

"Wow he's buff"

"yea bc I made him like that lmao"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

People drooling about my male MC mainly

It's so awkward, but I knew it would happen

Tuyetnhi

same, but for the male love interest and i'm like "this is expected lmao"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING

keii4ii

I get like 0 thirsty comment despite one of the MCs being an athletic cat dude with literal secret tentacles (I'm okay with not getting a lot of thirsty comments, but I do find it interesting)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've gotten thirsty comments and my comic is not meant to be romantic or sexy at all

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh, I can leave you some thirsty comments

I love Lu

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I was going to say they are inevitable(edited)

but kei proved that wrong

Tuyetnhi

same I love Lu too lmao

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And will gladly praise his hotness

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

if your comic goes on for long enough, i think you will get some eventually. it is a rule of the internet

keii4ii

It's been ongoing since Nov 2014 XD But I guess it takes longer for some than others!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@keii4ii I don't think you quite understand

I have never been attracted to animal-people before

I have always found anthros and such weird

And yet

Lu is totally my thing

Tuyetnhi

Strangely attractive for a cat guy lol

points for those who get the ref

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

how do you guys know what their comic is?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

He is way too attractive

keii4ii

Mine? Cronaj and Tuyetnhi came across it outside this Discord, I believe!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yep

I have been reading it for a few years now

Although I can't say exactly when, because HoK has been a part of my life for so long

Tuyetnhi

I think I started reading it a year or 2 ago lol

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii The only nice thing about Webtoons is that there aren't any profiles to check, so you can't look up fans via their comments. Also if you did Google their username there isn't a guarantee whoever you find would be that Webtoons user without them telling you. Lmao! About the thirsty comments, I used to get them a lot of Webtoons. There was this one scene where my smaller MC pulled the taller one to their face to say "Your friend is dead", before shoving him away and walking off. Some of my readers went wild! They wanted the two MCs to make-out so bad, even though the scene clearly had no romantic chemistry... or even the entire comic for that matter. My thirsty bunch came off really desperate and reaching at times.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg, that's just precious

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I really have never gotten thirsty comments, with the exception of one or two very mild 'Oh, that character is attractive' comments. But I think my comics just don't really attract thirsty readers. Of course, I rarely get any reader feedback, so that's probably part of it.

keii4ii

@DanitheCarutor Yeah, that's a plus about the semi-anonymity! My screenshots are from less anonymous places, so yeah. Some are also from like... Discord, where the person may not even have expected the comment to be archived in any way. (Sometimes I actually asked if I could screenshot, but I don't know if I asked every time...)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

No one has ever reported finding my characters attractive

Deo101 [Millennium]

People thinking my characters are hot is a pretty common thing, and usually I don't mind but... sometimes it's the bane of my existence.

It's always a little bit weird, though

every time someone is like "dat ass " I'm like alright bud keep it to urself

it's part of why I made all of my characters adults, actually

people even before I started making it, just when I was talking to them about it or showing my art would STILL be overly sexual about my characters so I aged them up where it felt less weird for me.

kayotics

I’ll get thirst comments every once in a while, usually on tapas. I don’t mind it too much, especially since I’m usually making characters that I’m also attracted to? I usually think thirst comments are funny

DanitheCarutor

Pfff I'm in a similar boat to Deo's. Usually I don't mind, but there are moments where it sucks. Like there will be a really serious, or heavy scene and someone will pop up with "Make them kiss!!", "Don't be mean to your future hubby, X! Kiss him and make up!!". It totally feels they don't actually care about the story and just want something to jack it off to. xD I don't get a whole lot of thirst anymore, which is nice. I think the vocal group lost interest after being blue-balled for 3-4 chapters. Weirdest thing, I have yet to get anyone saying my characters are attractive... well, some readers used to say Julian (my questionable looking non-binary character) was pretty but they weren't really thirsty, just observations. At least they came off like that. My style makes characters look kind of ugly, so comments about any of my cast being attractive is non-existent. @keii4ii Ooh yeah, I can see how that would be an issue. Although, if you really want to show off some super nice comments, you can also just cover or blur out their username and icon image. A lot of people do that, it's really good for keeping up the user's anonymity, and I don't think they would mind since you're not using their words slanderously.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Can I admit I sort of wish I got some thirsty and shipping comments? I also draw characters I think are hawt so I kinda wish my readers felt the same way. XD I don’t really want them in Ashes were my characters are teens, but in Eryl where 95% of the cast is legal age, I kinda wish some people wanted to be a little bit thirsty about it. XD

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, i just wish it wasnt... Idk sometimes it seems like thats ALL people see and it makes me sad

Like theres other stuff going on...

eli [a winged tale]

I feel you too Cap’n! I sort of expected shipping comments for AWT https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/keyspace-a-winged-tale/list?title_no=322364 but yeah they’re still kids discovering themselves! When I start my adult fantasy comic (tentatively planned), then I’m all on board for sure. For the question, I love and screenshot every comment to peruse whenever I feel down. I treasure all of them but one that particularly stood out for me was a writer reimagining all their stories with my art and characters and that just about made me cry happy tears

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far the only 'thirst comments' I've gotten are when the comic gets even the slightest bit... gay I can't say my story revolves around major LGBTQ+ themes, but people have picked up on random bits of subtext between characters (which is mostly intentional on my part, not gonna lie) and specifically take time to comment on them. It makes me happy to see people reading between the lines. And it also helps me know what the readers like or are really looking for. So... yeah, I'm gonna keep on that path

eli [a winged tale]

Did I miss that in phantomarine?? Howww

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

The subtlest of subtle subtext... which will become far less subtle over time

Nutty (Court of Roses)

i am deliberately pushing my main ship to get ppl into it lmao

YOU WANT THESE TWO TO KISS, I PROMISE

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

GOSH I know this feeling too well I feel like I don't want to overwhelm the readers, but I want them to still realize "...Hmmmmmm, yeah I kinda want this."

eli [a winged tale]

I’m so intrigued now

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

good

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wait i can't think of anything remotely gay/romantic in phantomarine

besides maybe

phaedra and... cheth?

eli [a winged tale]

The shipping comments in AWT are currently on point at exactly where I want them to be

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i don't believe you would go for that, but shipping enemies is a very common fandom thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I had more people shipping my characters because I'm all alone in it right now

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Nutty (Court of Roses) I'm doing the same in Ashes. I'm being super obvious about Anor x Rava being a future couple. XD

So far I haven't really gotten any comments about it. Idk if my readers care about romance at all.

Which is okay, because I don't really write much romance into my comics.

Even though I secretly wish for a bit of shipping from readers.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have to find out how visibly and obviously gay the characters have to act before people pick up on it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

sssfrs, your comic just doesn't feel like the kind of comic people would ship characters in, though. Even the relationship between the captain and the guy that left, though lovely, feels, i don't know, too mature to really ship?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

It's not the focus of the plot though so it's not essential just would be fun

Deo101 [Millennium]

people were shipping page 2 for me so idk

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

That's a fair way to look at it

Deo101 [Millennium]

apparently they need to be next to eachother , in my experience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think the art style plays a part, too

people were shipping my characters also from page two. But I have a "prettier" style than sssfrs

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, I think the only way readers even know my characters are queer is from the extra art I make of them for Pride month each year. On panel the gay isn't incredibly obvious.

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah, and I do WANT people to ship them so its not like I mind. I like shippers (when they are in line with my plans)

eli [a winged tale]

Yes Deo!! Exactly

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Some characters I think have a great dynamic but I just haven't published enough of the material that shows their chemistry yet so I can't blame anyone for not seeing it

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

^same for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

looking forward to seeing that in both your comics!

i follow both

eli [a winged tale]

That’s fair ssfrs I’m all for the slow burn

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

It's true that my goal isn't to make the characters visually attractive and appealing in that way as much as in personality and interactions

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I do keep seeing people leave 1* ratings for Eryl on WT and I can't help but wonder if it's homophobes angry about a character sheet I shared that mentioned the character was lovingly raised by two dads. Bc there has been nothing really controversial on-panel in the comic, and I have such a small audience it has no other reason to keep attracting hate.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yeah, that's what i was trying to say. couldn't think of a good way to say that though. but i like your art and feel like it fits your story well

( at sssfrs)

i don't think there are a large number of homophobes on WT. If anything, there's an overabundance of the opposite- fetishists

people leave 1 star on WT for random reasons like you not updating enough

don't worry about it

eli [a winged tale]

Link your webcomics? With <> . Love to check them out

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/puppeteer/list?title_no=290620

Deo101 [Millennium]

I get a lot of fetishists, yeah....

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/dark-wings-eryl/list?title_no=287293

Deo101 [Millennium]

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/millennium/list?title_no=110866

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Idk, maybe they don't like that I update in traditional pages, then, Who knows

All I know is every time my ratings start crawling back up, suddenly they'll take a big hit.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

idk, some people just seem to do that kinda thing

I have thought it could be other creators before, too...

trying to make less competition or something. but that would be cruel and I dont like to think someone would do that

so I prefer to think its just someone who didnt like my stuff

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

eh i prefer to think the best of people

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

It's not like I'm super successful or anything. The algorithms haven't been kind to either of my comics so I'm hardly competition.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm not going to think it's other creators

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah that's what Im saying

like its popped in my head and then I was like literally who would do that

thatd be reaaaaal messed up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hey, how to i add my comic name in paren to my name on this server?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Unfortunately I know a lot of creators who would. They just don't hang out in spaces like these.

Deo101 [Millennium]

just edit your nickname in the options

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mine is called Joe Is Dead, on here http://joeisdead.com/ and on tapas https://tapas.io/series/JoeIsDead

Deo101 [Millennium]

oh right I actually have another comic. It was on hiatus over a year so I havent gotten into the habit of sharing it...

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, go to the ... next to the server name and it opens up a menu with the 'change nickname' option.

Deo101 [Millennium]

https://tapas.io/series/Time-and-Time-again

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I put the title in my name

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

My other comic is here on WT: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/children-of-shadow-ashes/list?title_no=145048&page=1

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i just don't like dismissing negative feedback. I don't want to get negative reviews and just brush them off as jealous people because i know my comic definitely has room to improve and would rather negative feedback motivate me to look for ways how

got it, thanks!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I love negative feedback. I want to put out the best work I can & hearing what people don't like or don't think is working helps me do that

Deo101 [Millennium]

theres constructive feedback, and then theres people telling me my characters are stupid and I think I can brush the latter off

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Unfortunately, I have been the victim of vicious jealous reviews. I've seen a lot of ugly in the webcomic world over the many years I've been doing this. Some creators be petty.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) hm if i were to give negative feedback about your comic I'd say the biggest things are that you have a lot of characters that in my mind are kind of hard to differentiate, and also it can be really hard to tell where your characters are in space. But those don't matter too much, as they both will probably get better with time. Your biggest strength imo in your dialogue anyways

keii4ii

Not every negative feedback is relevant to my goals, is key for me. It's the whole "you can't please everyone" principle. My target audience does not include every person out there. If my target audience falls in love with what I make, then that's success for me. I don't need to impress the rest of the world.

keii4ii

(Thanks Tatsu.)

Deo101 [Millennium]

You have a different definition of "negative feedback" than I do.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

who are you referring to?(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

You

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

in what way?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I can usually tell the difference between 'This person has a different idea of what this story should be than I do' and 'This person has it out for me because of jealousy or spite'

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Yeah I've found it really hard to juggle the consistency with where characters are standing all the time. I write out lists of the order they're spatially located in an effort to keep track of them. Hopefully I'll get better with practice

Deo101 [Millennium]

the negative feedback I am talking about is basically straight up hate. Constructive criticism, pointing out the flaws of a work, isnt "negative feedback" by my definition.

so saying "I want negative feedback" means something different for you than it does for me.

i WILL dismiss people being straight up rude to me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hm, I feel like a lot of people define negative feedback the same way i do, constructive criticism about what you could do better. If you say you dont want negative feedback you might get people thinking you don't want critique at all. imo what you are referring to might be more clearly just called "hate"

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'll consider it if someone is trying to help, even if most of the time I ignore it

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I also get the random 1 star ratings on Webtoon, so I think some people are just easy to hate stuff(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yo sssfrs, you keep track of where characters are in space by writing lists??

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

These are probably also the same people who dislike videos habitually on Youtube

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't imagine working with that

Deo101 [Millennium]

I actually dont want critique at all.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it seems so hard

Deo101 [Millennium]

not if I dont ask for it.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Con crit and hate aren't the same thing, though

One is genuinely trying to help you improve, the other is just trying to bring you down.(edited)

And it's okay to not want the former

Deo101 [Millennium]

and I would say "negative feedback" doesnt include con crit

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Just because you make something doesn't mean you have to want people to give crit on it.(edited)

Yeah

I agree, because GOOD con crit is usually polite because if the person knows what they're talking about, they were where you are now and will be nice about it.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

From my experience the best critiques come from other artists doing similar work to you

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i don't think all negative con crit is helpful, either. people also need to know what their strengths are so they know what to keep instead of just what to remove

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

They might not even be trying specifically to be nice about it

But their words feel less hurtful

eli [a winged tale]

I feel like there are comments which are reviews (fair enough, everyone has subjective opinions) but I feel like constructive criticisms should be more private and take place in specific settings (most importantly where the creators are in a position of wanting them)

Nutty (Court of Roses)

@eli [a winged tale] https://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/

eli [a winged tale]

What I think most readers don’t understand or know is that the comic that does make its way to the public quite often has already been through rigorous critique and feedback

Nutty (Court of Roses)

(sorry, was late to that haha, i agree on your feelings about crits)

Deo101 [Millennium]

see, I dont know what you mean by "negative con crit" In my experience, a critique that is negative is not a critique and is more an opportunity for someone to flex.

helpful critiques may FEEL negative, because they are pointing out your flaws, but they arent negative

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think you're defining "negative" and "hateful" the same way, but other people are not(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

I call them constructive feedback. Then on the other hand, yeah there are negative comments that are there to serve the OP’s sentiments(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I use constructive if it is helpful, and negative if it is harmful

eli [a winged tale]

But I just don’t think the comment platform supports the constructive feedback part. The comments currently represent the OP’s views which are very much subjective. It’s hard to know if they are providing feedback from a place of knowing story structure/art competency

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

critique does mean a lot more when I ask for it from an artist I respect

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. It’s quite an intimate process

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but i can still take casual comments into consideration when trying to improve

things like, it's confusing, or i don't understand what's happening

eli [a winged tale]

I think trust in the critiquer’s background and intention for you to improve are imperative(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

speaking of comments that say the comic is confusing, god i hate getting those comments the most. Because they come from people genuinely trying to read and like my comic and represent a failure of my storytelling skills

eli [a winged tale]

Plus there is a skill/art (no pun intended haha) to giving feedback. That’s a whole nother can of worms

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but better to hear that and know it than not

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

It's not always a failure of storytelling skills, though. Some people's brains work along a certain line, and when a story is told that doesn't gel with that, it seems confusing to the person. That doesn't mean the writing was bad, it just means that the author communicates differently than the reader.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

^ thats what I was gonna say

I have a small group of people who I trust who are editors, writers, or artists. I go to them to see if I'm doing the best I can for my goals.

if people get confused then there isnt too much more that I can do...

not saying my work is perfect, of course...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't just brush it off by saying I communicate differently than the reader when I'm trying to communicate to the reader

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But not every reader is your audience, though

Nutty (Court of Roses)

^^^^

your message sometimes can't reach certain people, and that's not your fault

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

If all the readers are confused, that's one thing. If only a few are, well, your writing style just wasn't for them.

eli [a winged tale]

For sure. Agree Capn and Deo. There’s a lot of work that goes behind the scenes that readers are unaware

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

true true. But there are a few people who have said the same things, so I've taken those to heart and added dialogue that made it more clear. I don't regret that

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Your comic is public, and it's going to be seen by a very wide variety of people with all different kinds of reading comprehension and tastes. You're never going to appeal to all of hem, and plenty won't understand what you're trying to do. But that doesn't mean what you're making is bad. It just means it, like every story, is for a particular audience.

Yeah, if it's a repeated crit, it is something to keep in mind, but just remember that incorporating a crit shouldn't change what you're trying to do, only refine it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ive had a couple people say "I'm confused but Im enjoying whats going on" and I dont even know what I would begin to do about that

eli [a winged tale]

I usually trust my beta readers for that. If there are confusing parts then I would ask them how to clarify that best

I think these creator based forums are best to seek feedback and see what could potentially be remedied

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Of course. And I don't think my comic is bad. But one example was when I realized some confusion stemmed from me having a speech bubble that read, "without her," and didn't realize "her" could refer to two different characters which would make what was being said have two very different meanings. It's easy to overestimate how understandable your story is as an author that already knows everything that's going on. I think confusion is a good thing to pay attention to- I've definitely read comics before and dropped them because the author didn't pay enough attention to introducing things to the audience

(also dropped comics because they paid too much attention to introducig things but)

Deo101 [Millennium]

yes, like I said I have a small group of friends who are all writers, editors, and artists who can give me a pretty dang good beta read.

eli [a winged tale]

They are so great. Don’t know what I’d do without them

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

At that point I'd honestly keep going with what you have - there are several stories I've gone into with confusion, but also greatly enjoyed them, or even got less confused over time. Some readers need time to put the pieces together. So long as someone enjoys it on some level, I think that makes the comic successful. Maybe not completely - but not every comic will be everything to all people.

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. Sometimes as well you gotta trust your story writing/art skills.

Deo101 [Millennium]

yup!

and like I'm not doing too bad for my first comic so I think I got something going for me at least.

I understand I have room to grow...

but I would like to keep that to people who I trust wont steer me wrong

eli [a winged tale]

Always room to grow for sure!

Deo101 [Millennium]

and arent just pushing what they want from me on me

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. Feedback/ beta reading has its own set of skills. There’s always places to improve but the key is to determine specifically where that can be and how feasible(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I remember the first time I read Unsounded, I had absolutely no idea what was going on because of how Ashley structures her world-building. But there were aspects of it that were very engaging, so I stuck with it. After finishing the archives, I went back and reread. Now that I understood what all the terms meant, it made perfect sense on the second go-round. It's now one of my favourite webcomics. Some stories are just told differently, and that's okay.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

There’s certainly an element of trust you must put to the creators that it’ll all make sense at the end

Deo101 [Millennium]

someone got very mad at me for how I have shown my trans characters so far.. I had to explain that the story isnt done yet, and they have to trust I'll bring it up

it's a WIP and there is some trust that NEEDS to be had

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol I have only one artist/writer friend (struggles of working in a non-art career), and she understands everything I write exactly as I intended it and I love it. But she's my friend for a reason- we tend to think the same way and read similar things. Don't think it's wrong to try to cater to a wider audience as well

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Deo101 [Millennium] I wonder if anyone will react once I reveal that Anor is intersex/trans on panel. I'm really hoping I don't find out if any of my readers are transphobes -or- angry that he isn't ostentatiously trans.

Deo101 [Millennium]

someone was mad I didnt show my cyborg transitioning cause it could be so cool of a concept to see his original robot body and I was like literally none of what you said applies to him also thats kinda gross

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Wut

Deo101 [Millennium]

YEAH

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

There might be some transphobes. But it's worth dealing with them for the people who your comic will resonate with more for having a trans character in it

Deo101 [Millennium]

alsooooo some people might be upset, but then they will leave and you will be left with better people.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I feel like me having a non-binary character and insisting on correcting everyone who misgenders them deters transphobes away p quickly.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

^^^ some people will dislike, but those who like will really like

and a smaller, better fanbase is better than a larger one that cares less(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

hear hear

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I'm hoping some will resonate with him! I don't think I've ever seen any intersex rep in any story, so I really want people to know they can have a hero like them.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm trying to think of stories with intersex rep

I feel like there must be some, but I can't bring any up : /

Sazed from Mistborn is written as though he's intersex, but he clearly identifies as male and the story treating him as intersex actually feels a bit disrespectful

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Me neither. The only thing I've seen in stories is gross 'hermaphrodite' jokes when mocking a cis character.

I really want to give positive representation.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

webcomics have so much lgbt representation. I feel as though I must have seen an intersex character somewhere in there, but I'm not sure I have.(edited)

it feels kind of weird(edited)

I've seen characters that don't have genders because they're gods or whatnot but I feel like that's different

Deo101 [Millennium]

I mean, I have intersex characters I supposed but theyre alien genders so I also think that's different and wouldnt call them intersex

DanitheCarutor

I don't know the whole conversation, but @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios), you'll be fine! Most transphobic people quietly leave, only the really sad, pitiful ones make a stink and their opinions are pretty laughable. If you get crap laugh in their faces like they're morons. I would also say my character Julian is intersex, but I'm not sure how much it counts since it was a recent decision I made (after doing a lot of research) due to readers headcanoning them as an intersex character.

I think I know of a couple other comics with intersex characters if you want to check out some, lemme go look through my lists.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@DanitheCarutor I'd love to see other comics with intersex representation! And I think Julian totally counts? I don't see a problem with reconsidering a character's sex, gender, or orientation as we become more aware of issues in the world, or even just more aware of our own characters. Webcomics are always a work-in-progress and things change as we go.

eli [a winged tale]

@DanitheCarutor I’d love to know them too!

keii4ii

Re: clarity and confusion, sometimes a small change in wording or such can improve the clarity greatly, and that's great! But I agree that reader confusion doesn't necessarily = failure in storytelling. I've published my comic first in Korean, and a much improved version in English. The cultural difference in the audience has shown to be a huge factor in terms of what's clear and what isn't, or how certain things come across. And that's just one factor.

DanitheCarutor

So I only know of one comic personally, Drop-Out! Sure the characters are anthros, and the bubbles can be hard to read, but it is one of my favorite comics! Of course it's kinda heavy so be aware of that. http://drop-out.thecomicseries.com/ Although I checked out the Webcomic Library tagpacker and found a few. (including Drop-Out) https://tagpacker.com/user/webcomic.library?t=Intersex LGBT Webcomics also has a few that aren't listed in the above list. https://tagpacker.com/user/lgbtwebcomics?t=intersex @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Lol yeah, I guess so. My readers made me put a lot of thought into it, and after the research being intersex actually fits a lot better with Julian's type of gender dysphoria and confusion than when they were AAB male. It also make some small, more intimate parts of the story feel more natural? It's hard to explain, it just feels better.(edited)

keii4ii

Like, making my work as accessible as possible has never been a goal for me with this story. So to me, it's not a failure that a large number of people can't see parts of the story that aren't being spelled out. I can totally respect "I want my work to be more accessible, so if all these people are not Getting It, then I need to do a better job" as a valid stance. Just not one I'm taking. It's all about individual goals and priorities.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh boy, writing a fantasy story with a very developed culture is kinda scary, because NOBODY is going to pick up on cultural nuances except for me(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I DO want my work to be more accessible/reach a wider audience, but that still doesnt mean it will be for everyone, too.(edited)

keii4ii

Not gonna lie, I get a little salty when I see someone claiming their story is "for everyone." I feel like such a claim is disrespectful to different cultures and tastes.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i just started drop out and damn, that's one hell of an opening

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I genuinely don't think it's possible to make a story for everyone lol

like... idk literally just by making it "sci fi" that excludes many people who just don't like sci-fi

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've never seen anyone claiming their story is for everyone

Deo101 [Millennium]

I feel like just to get to your premise, not even your personal execution you're already super narrowing the people down who will be interested

which is fine!!! and is necessary to accept imo

keii4ii

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've seen it. Not often but I've definitely seen it.

I've even seen a creator accuse another person of being heartless because the person was not interested in their Very Emotional And Universally Heartfelt comic, so uhhh yeah

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Well then

That just sounds like an illusioned creator

Deo101 [Millennium]

I kinda like to think of it like music

I dont like a lot of songs that other people love, it's not that they're bad songs just... not for me(edited)

keii4ii

Yeah! I also think the word "taste" is very fitting

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah for sure

keii4ii

Some of us can eat ghost peppers like popcorns. Others would even avoid like... crackled black pepper

Deo101 [Millennium]

ahahhahaha

mac n cheese has a very wide audience, but some people aren't into it

DanitheCarutor

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Lmao! Drop-Out is quite a unique piece of fiction. I have also seen creators who say their comic is for everyone, then get made when someone isn't interested.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm gonna start saying millennium is like mac n cheese now

keii4ii

@Deo101 [Millennium] That reminds me of "what drink would your comic be" !!

Deo101 [Millennium]

ahahahahah

someone: my comic is WATER EVERYONE NEEDS IT

keii4ii

I answered: "I want HoK to be liquid bacon fat, so that it'll stay in your heart forever."

Deo101 [Millennium]

ew LMAO

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

even if your comic is water, some people don't drink water

Deo101 [Millennium]

but cute? I gues????

DanitheCarutor

That sounds like a fun game, "If your comic were food what would it be?"

Mine would be sardine pizza, only weirdos like it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

next weeks creator babble question

LMSLDJGLASJGK

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@DanitheCarutor its got such good art. The characters are so unique and expressive. Don't think I've seen anyone not use anti-aliasing on such detailed art before, but it works here

almost all webcomics are some weird food. We're niche just by nature

DanitheCarutor

It DOES have great art! And it gets better as you go too, by the time I reached the end then looked back on the first pages for nostalgia it was almost like night and day with the quality.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

fuck, really? but it's so polished already

DanitheCarutor

I mean, I guess that's not something to get excited about, most webcomics get better artwise as they go. Lmao! But still!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i love how the about page makes this sound like a fun roadtrip adventure

Deo101 [Millennium]

this feels mayble like the wrong chat for this discussion?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

My comic would be a latte: A lot of people like it, but some people will never like coffee.

keii4ii

I can imagine HoK being like Chung Gook Jang soup? It's 1) Korean, 2) it warms you up, 3) it is very polarizing even among Koreans. It's kinda like... imagine miso soup on ultra mega steroid. Like a vegan version of supersharp stinky cheese. And 4) I love it.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

im alphabet soup because i have a fuckton of dialogue

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm actually gonna stick with mac n cheese. a bit childish, but it's nice! you can do some fun things with it to shake things up, but it's still cheese and noodles.

keii4ii

Mac n cheese is amazing.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I love mac n cheese.

another reason why it's my comic! I love it, and it's something I can actually make

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

As for food, WotP would definitely something like authentic Mexican tacos. Again, generally well-received, but can be a bit intense for a lot of people

keii4ii

I really like food analogies. Sometimes it's not Gordon Ramsey you're trying to impress. Sometimes you want to make something you and/or your loved ones will enjoy, and if that's "WAY too much [ingredient]!!!!" for everyone else out there, that's not a flaw!

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah! :D

keii4ii

That's actually good food for thought (no pun intended): what niche aspects does your comic contain? How/why are they niche?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) How do you do it?

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think I once described mine as a corrupted tropical cocktail. On the surface: sweet, pretty, very colorful - but all the ingredients used to make it are rotten

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I thought of Cricket as intersex for a long time and I still don't know exactly where I stand on that.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I draw a diagram of where characters/ furniture are from above. Niche things: Most conflicts are resolved through anticlimactic conversation. Also there's this huge bit about consensual mind control. I wrote the comic I'd want to read, and somehow found a few people like me to follow along

I also usually don't have more than 2 characters interacting

so it's easier for me

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have so many busy group scenes with people moving around. The most recent chapter was kind of a mess also because I wasn't really sure about the dimensions of the space they were all in

This scene was also pretty rushed in general

Re: intersex characters I feel like I've been shying away from that because I don't feel like I know enough about the topic to adequately represent intersex people

Joe Is Dead has a really specific aesthetic to it but I don't know how to define that niche. It's definitely something

Deo101 [Millennium]

I honestly could not answer that question about what niche things my comic contains. I don't know what about my comic is mainstream or not, I'm just making what I want to see and not really worrying about stuff like that.

keii4ii

For me, having an idea of what's niche about my comic actually lessens my worries!

It's a "okay, so I know these things are niche, which means people not liking or even getting those things =/= my failure!" kinda thing for me!

But I can also see how not thinking about what's niche or not can lessen the worries for others, too.

Deo101 [Millennium]

mhm, for me it means I can just go "well I like it anyways sooooooooo"

keii4ii

Yeah, that's the destination! We're just taking different routes to get there

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also genuinely just have a hard time determining whether or not something is niche

even if I thought about it for a while (I've been thinking about it since you asked, and I have thought about it before" I genuinely couldnt pinpoint it for you...

keii4ii

I used to beat myself up very badly every time someone didn't like a thing about my comic

Deo101 [Millennium]

keii4ii

and "oh, 1) this is subjective, 2) I like it like this, and 3) my liking of it is valid" was how I crawled out of that hole

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't know if my comic is specifically niche, unless you count "low fantasy" (or essentially fantasy with less magic and such) as niche

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My comic has a lot of specific nautical and history content that you could call niche

Also surrealism

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would call Joe Is Dead "niche," but not WoTP

I've read both

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I... used to think my comics weren't niche. Ohohohohoho how wrong I was!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Id say millennium isnt niche then it's basically just gay sci fi it's p straightforward

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

My comics are very, incredibly, undeniably niche.

DanitheCarutor

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) It is difficult to understand if you're not intersex yourself, even though I studied a lot before making the decision about my character I still don't know if I'll represent the topic properly. The best you can really do is get into researching all the medical stuff, talk to people willing to share their experiences with being intersex, and watch videos of people talking about it from a professional and personal perspective. The hardest thing to get right about something so subjective and personal is that everyone's experiences are different, so no matter how much you research you just gotta do your best with the info you have, then figure out how your character would experience it personally.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't think anything magical happens until Chapter 11 of WotP, now that I think about it

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Also @DanitheCarutor thank you for the links!! I'll have to give those comics a look!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’m still backreading and I just saw the food question, that is great

JID would be saltcod

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooooh

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or like pickled herring maybe

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Bacalao

Noice

(Bacalao = Puerto Rican salted cod)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

They have it in spain too iirc

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Ashes would be very bitter black coffee someone forgot to drink and it's just been sitting there for two days. Eryl would be well-aged wine spiked with tabasco sauce.

DanitheCarutor

Sorry for derailing. Anyways, I feel like my entire comic is just a ball of niche? The subject matters are uncommon and the main characters are awful and unreliable, but that's my aesthetic so I'm sticking to it. I've never particularly cared about people liking my comic due growing up not being liked myself (you kinda get over it after a while), but I do like finding people like me. @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) No problem! I hoard stuff like that, so I probably have a link for everything.

Urm, I don't mean I like finding unlikable people like me, I mean people who like the same types of stories as me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Honestly, Dani, I connect to your comic quite a lot, for what it's worth!

DanitheCarutor

Thank you! ;v; In a way it's kind of nice having a comic that doesn't fit in. It tends to stand out, especially with my choice of medium. Although at the same times it's really hard to get feedback that applies to what you're doing! Arg!

keii4ii

It is such a Struggle, for sure -- getting relevant feedback

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I feel you! I'm in the same boat with Ashes. It's also incredibly niche and there just aren't that many pencil comics out there- coloured or graphite.

DanitheCarutor

Being a creator who likes feedback, but also likes making niche content, is so hard! Why can't everyone like niche content??

Lmao!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

As niche as the setting and tone of Joe Is Dead are, the main story arc is a very generic hero adventure thing that I hope will appeal to wide audiences

eli [a winged tale]

Niche content

I’d love to know more! What niches are you exploring?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

The nicest thing anyone's said about Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/ is that they really became invested in the characters. Like, that's the kind of story I want to make - the kind where the characters really stick with you.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

As for what food my comic would be... I'd say squid ink pasta. It's the kind of food that makes you go "what the heck is going on here" if you're new to it, but once you actually eat it you'll (hopefully) go "oh, that made way more sense than i expected and was actually pretty tasty"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I don't know if you're talking to me directly but I'm using a lot of maritime history and literature stuff that I've been obsessed with for a long time as the setting of the story, and then the whole thing has a really morbid and nihilistic tone, while also somehow being funny because I have a background in comedy/satire writing

And then heavy biblical themes

It's essentially a Renaissance period retelling of the Joseph story from the bible

With pirates instead of shepherds

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

For me, I’m not even sure what niche Ashes belongs to. (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/) It’s dark, it’s weird, it has a twisty plot that slowly trickles information, and it’s an odd mash-up of genres. I often try to describe it as Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children meets Farthing Wood. It’s mostly urban fantasy with some horror elements and talking animals. Basically it’s about a bunch of unaging teenagers with supernatural, angel-gifted powers and a bunch of woodland critters fighting (although so far it’s more running from) eldritch monsters. But it’s main focus is on each character battling either mental illness or some other kind of inner demon.

keii4ii

There's also the aspect of: what's niche in one culture may not be niche in another. In Korean media, Fantastical Old Korea is a very common setting for all sorts of genres: gag a day, romance, all-ages adventure, gritty crime drama, zombie apocalypse, you name it. If the work spends a lot of visuals showing mundane everyday moments, often that's a shorthand for "sit down and stay a while; this is a heartfelt tale that takes its time." My comic uses such a setting. When I began to publish it in English, I was surprised that people were expecting it to be one of these AND NOTHING ELSE: a) exciting magical action adventure b) mythology-driven, all about gods and spirits My comic is neither of those. It definitely contains elements of adventure, but that's the plate the meat is served on, not the meat itself. So I guess the usage of the setting is niche.

Like, imagine a civilian life drama set in WWII time. The civilian MC may have a family member or a close friend in the military, but the story focuses on the MC's experience. Imagine presenting that story and people expect it to be... military action? Not a perfect analogy, but hopefully a good enough one.

Kelsey (Kurio)

To be fair, Korea would find fantastical old Korea less exotic than those outside of Korea heh

keii4ii

That is definitely a factor. Even today, you can find semi-Old Days-like places IRL within like... 3 hours of drive.

I'm weirded out that my culture is considered exotic, but it is what it is

(To clarify, weirded out =/= offended.)

Kelsey (Kurio)

Well any culture can be exotic to people outside of that culture

As an outsider looking in, it can be fascinating to learn about a culture I don't know much about

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Anything unfamiliar is usually considered exotic. I know in both England and America, I never really learned anything about any Asian country growing up. I had to seek out the info myself, and as it was very unfamiliar to me, it seemed exotic!

Kelsey (Kurio)

Especially their myths and stories

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Oops, exactly what Kelsey said, I typed too slow.

keii4ii

Yeah, the thing is I've been told I should not be using this setting to tell this story because it's a doomed combination. But ehh, I decided not to listen to that. This story with this setting and all of its elements is what I wanted to read.

carcarchu

slice of life set in a historical setting sounds really refreshing actually(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But I know I’d probably feel strange if someone told me New York was exotic!

carcarchu

sometimes historical settings can get really bogged down by politics and whatever other drama, having a quiet slow paced story set in the same kind of world is something i'd be interested in reading

Kelsey (Kurio)

Nothing wrong with trying the approach you want to

Who knows, you might end up with a unique combo that helps your work stand out

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yup. I’m a firm believer in writing the kind of story you’d want to read. No matter how niche.

Tuyetnhi

Totes agreed on this. For me, when I had to drop my dark drama series for my romance story, folks were like "Dang, I thought you like writing dark things!"

I do, but romance comics.... [clenches chest]. I also want to write a story that I want to read so lmao. Dream lover elements along with some dark horror influences is something I want to try doing lol

carcarchu

this is not a webcomic but try reading coelacanth if you're interested in the combination of horror with romance @Tuyetnhi

Tuyetnhi

ooo I'll keep that in mind

carcarchu

it's really so unique i love coelacanth so much

Tuyetnhi

is it a novel? :0

carcarchu

it's a manga

Tuyetnhi

aaa

Yeah I probably check it out sometime lmao

back on the idea tho, I also wanted to add some Vietnamese influences in the mix since there's not a lot of stories about Vietnamese disapora, so that's included in the cauldron lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@keii4ii what's your comic? I wanna check it out(edited)

keii4ii

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) It's https://heartofkeol.com/

(I get extremely nervous whenever I know someone is checking out my comic for the first time )

DanitheCarutor

To answer @eli [a winged tale] question. I'm delving into stuff like mental illnesses and disorders, medical illnesses, abuse, trauma and later on, self-care. The comic itself is slow and character centric, I guess you can say it's like a character study. The story can be really depressing depending on who is reading, and it has some softcore horror bits sprinkled in. I'm kind of a nerd for mental health, sad stuff and everything medical so I figured I may as well make a story embellishing those interests. In short it's a sad, character driven, psychological drama about two extremely flawed individuals. Not particularly exciting compared to all the other webcomics out there, but somebody has to make that one pretentious, psychological slice of life piece.

keii4ii

What compounds my issues is that my comic does have enough adventure elements for someone to mistake it for an underwhelming adventure story. "This is an adventure story but there's not enough adventure in it?" kinda thing.

@DanitheCarutor Character studies FTW!!! Yours has been on my 'gotta check this out' list for a long time now!

Tuyetnhi

Oooo

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I also am a fan of psychological stories

Especially if they're sad(edited)

Tuyetnhi

Kei idk why but I was reminded of .hack SIGN when u said that

"there's so much talking! where's the action?!?"

keii4ii

@Tuyetnhi That's actually not a terrible comparison -- though .hack//SIGN has other issues that my comic hopefully doesn't have XD

Tuyetnhi

I'm pretty sure it's miles better than that old anime lmao

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Pff I need to check out your comic too! I remember reading it at one point, but I don't remember what happened to make me lose track. From what little I remember I really liked it.

keii4ii

The thing with .hack//SIGN was it had a lot of promises of mystery that never went anywhere, within SIGN. I've heard those mysteries do go somewhere within the franchise, but you had to watch/read the entire franchise, which I wasn't going to do. I hope my comic will be a good read on its own, when finished.

Tuyetnhi

sadly, I was one of those suckers that went to consume the .hack games and mangas to get some context from SIGN in the late 2000's lmao

I hope the same as mine, despite being mostly saccharine and self-indulgent nature lmao

keii4ii

Self-indulgence is a strength of indie comics.

eli [a winged tale]

I love all the themes y’all explore! They’re so important

Tuyetnhi

I feel like I have a reason for everything when working on that comic but if that's what it boils down to, I'll take it lol

keii4ii

TBH I produce my best writing and art when I focus on pleasing myself.

Because if I'm trying to please others, I don't even know what they want, so I waste my energy panicking.

But when I'm creating for my inner reader, I can be self-critical in a productive manner!

Tuyetnhi

so true ya

RebelVampire

Hey guys. I kind of feel as this has deviated a smidgen too far from the topic, so maybe reel it in just a smidgen. XD(edited)

Desnik

so the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my comic is that they wanna read more :3

I kinda dread reader dropoffs so the will to see the whole story through fills me with joy

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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flakandforay · 5 years

Text

Smeraldo: the Notes and Webtoon Theory

overall: so bighit started dropping quite a fair bit of Smeraldo notes started posting out of nowehere on 7th Jan, on a Monday to say that there would be about 15 notes to be released. some dates overlapping with the previous ones that have been revealed in the album notes, highlight reels etc and notes released individually later on. sooner or later, the webtoon is also released on 15 Jan which is expected to end on April 11. the day when Seokjin keeps going back in time; or at least when he goes back in time, it just so happens to be April 11.

warning(s): mentions of death, mental illnesses, abuse, suicide, violence; please do read with care

do support my ko-fi if you can~

theory: generally, you would have realized that bighit is planning something to which they are dropping the Notes (The most beautiful moment in life pt.1) whereas the webtoon is pt.2, and knowing them, there would most likely be a pt.2. this is to which someone mentioned on Twitter that there could be a possibly that pt.2 would be movie and that bight was just testing the responses if bighit does release one for this story. notice how bighit released 2 movies, burn the stage and ly in seoul so you could say this was a marketing practice for them.

but anyway, bighit drops snippets of the notes for 15 consecutive days. i have no idea why 15, but moving on, it seemed like a lot was planned this year considering that the year 2013; the year that bangtan debuted, and this year 2019, is exactly identical, freaky but still.

to get yourself more familiarize with what I'm about to talk about, please do look at my masterlist here for the full translations, possibly highlight reel posters and watch the highlight reels.

someone on Twitter ( user @/jmxyg ) also mentioned that she did some research to find out that these videos are the ones certified in the Bighit Universe. (BU)

I NEED U 화양연화 on stage: prologue RUN Blood, Sweat and Tears Wings Short Films Highlight Reels 起承轉結 Euphoria Fake Love Epiphany

im going to go on a limb here and say that in all of these videos, it shows bangtan together, all except for Epiphany. Epiphany seems to the beginning or the end of which Seokjin tries to go back into time to help them.

but anyway, notice how critical intros didnt make the cut? such as serendipity and singularity, i do think that they are part of the BU but it wasn't of much significance, it shows more of their relationships with their partners or of their inner struggles and has nothing to do with the HYYH storyline at all; hence why it is being cut out.

Euphoria was kept because it kinda of showed a whole alternate universe that i mentioned before in Euphoria theory; do give that a read if keen. it showed sort of alternate endings in which it could be said as though Seokjin successfully went back in time but the pain has been transferred to someone else.

also notice how none of the earlier eras of bangtan before the most beautiful moment in life are part of it, such as no more dream, N.O. Skool luv affair or dark and wild, so in a way they are just of background information since it talks mostly about school rebellion; to which to some extent is being covered in HYYH: the Notes, but is not of that importance.

the only one that was important is the BTS Begins VCR with the storage classroom and of the quote inside. (read 1984 theory).

but also notice, how the the japanese music videos are not part of it, guess they are only focusing on the Korean timelines for now, but i do believe that the Japanese ones are of a different world etc.

so let’s start start on identifying the various dates that has been mentioned. This includes various years at various timings. If you read my previous theory here; I have outlined overlapping dates for certain members as well.

so I'm going to just go out here and start putting each and every single note that bighit posted.

So every time that smeraldo notes posted a note, they would acompany it with the relevant video in which I assume that’s where the note came from.

1st Note: Seokjin 2 May YEAR 22

“Would I be able to straighten out the errors and mistakes and save the others? I didn’t grasp the depth and weight of this question.

Video posted is the one from Euphoria; where Seokjin opens the curtains.

2nd Note: Yoongi 7 April YEAR 22

The car had just barely missed me. The remaining buzz of the alcohol made me giddy. Then I realized I couldn’t hear the piano anymore.

Video posted is from First Love, wings short films. Yoongi just avoided the car from barely hitting and crashing into him.

this could also be seen from the HYYH: the Notes, O version.

Yoongi 7 April YEAR 22

I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.

I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the car’s passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?

The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound.

The next moment, I was running. It wasn’t of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important.

The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didn’t want to be concerned with anyone’s life. I didn’t want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didn’t want to mean anything to someone. I couldn’t protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didn’t want to give pain. I didn’t want to receive pain.

I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. “Hyung”. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.

it looks like during this day, Jungkook met drunk Yoongi

3rdNote: Namjoon 11 April YEAR 22

Seokjin just stood there on the edge of my sight. He didn’t come closer or start talking.

The video posted on twitter is of a separate video but actually it came from the BST JP. MV; interesting that remember how I mentioned that someone tweeted that there are videos being compiled as part of the BU, yet none of the Japanese ones were inside.

To make up for this and to ensure the smooth storyline, they made, trademarked and posted a separate video to go with these notes.

This scene would be familiar to those who read the webtoon “Save Me”; in which Seokjin does appear at the gas station; yet the only difference is whether Seokjin spoke to Namjoon as it lead to a whole ripple of effects.

4th Note: Jungkook 11 April YEAR 22

My phone rang, I came back to myself as if awakened from a long dream. I took out my phone. It was Yoongi.

The video posted was that of Euphoria; the scene in which Jungkook is at the roof of the building and if correct; it was said he would jump off the building and die.

Same thing happened in the webtoon; yet the only difference is whether he jumped off and crashed onto Seokjin’s car or not.

5th Note: Hoseok 23 July YEAR 10

Mom handed me a chocolate bar. “Hoseok, close your eyes tight and don’t open them until you count to ten.”

The video posted was the one from the highlight reel; where he was seen at an amusement park to which his mother abandoned him. Do read my fake love theory on this to understand it clearly.

This is where Hoseok faces his fear of abandonment; through which he relishes through the snickers candy bar and tried to trade it at the magic shop. (read Fake Love Teaser 1 Theory).

moreover, there is some relation in terms of HYYH: the Notes, L version.

Hoseok 31 May YEAR 22

I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasn’t a thought or a perception, it couldn’t be described or explained. I couldn’t look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadn’t felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, “Where are you going, Hoseok-ah?” The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, “Hoseok-ah”. A voice that I couldn’t recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.

so here, at YEAR 10, Hoseok was 9 years old, that means in YEAR 22, he would be 21, and assuming their real life age holds, their ages goes like this.

Seokjin - 23 Yoongi - 22 Hoseok - 21 Namjoon - 21 Jimin - 20 Taehyung - 20 Jungkook - 18.

this would make a lot of sense because in the webtoon, it could be seen that Jungkook is still going to high school and following the Korean education system, when they are 18, it is their last year of high school; meaning Jungkook met the boys possibly during the 1st or 2nd year of high school. this is why he probably grew attached to them; especially during the times in the storage classroom.

6th note: Jimin 28 September YEAR 20

I lied for the first time today. I looked into the doctor’s eyes and pretended to be depressed. “I can’t remember anything.”

The video posted with this is the one of Jimin in his Lie short film. He is seen to be in an isolated room with a Bob Ross painting and he stares into the camera and gives this nonchalant look.

Until now, many have speculated why would there be a need for Jimin to lie considering he already has some kind of illness that caused him to move schools quite frequently when he was young etc. Also, the scene in Euphoria in which as though he seemed to be alone yet sometimes the boys are there probably visiting him etc.

Some armys on twitter have speculated saying that the reason why Jimin lied was to stay in the hospital even longer so that he could be with Hoseok. As mentioned before, Hoseok has some kind of disease and turns out later through these notes, it is revealed he has more than one illness.

the full one could be seen here from the HYYH: the Notes, O version.

Jimin 28 September YEAR 20

I stopped counting the days since I was hospitalized. Counting is something you would do when you want to get out or there is hope of getting out. The trees and leaves were far outside the window and based on the clothes of people, I think that not much time has passed. At most, a month tops. Sometimes I see myself wearing the uniform though it was nothing special. Maybe it was because of the medicine, everything looked boring and dull. But today was a special day. The kind of day you write in a diary. However, I didn’t have one and I didn’t want the problems that come with writing in one. Today was the first time I lied. I looked at the doctor’s eyes and pretended to be gloomy. “I don’t remember anything.”

7thnote: Yoongi 2 May YEAR 22

The sheet caught fire and instantly flared up. My last sight of this world was this dirty, isolated room, the red-hot flames and rolling heat, and Jungkook’s twisted face.

See here, the video posted was the one from I Need U, in which he set the whole room on fire. But if what im assuming is correct and if what the notes say it’s true, there’s a possibility that Euphoria’s scenes in which Jungkook tried to save Yoongi; the one where Seokjin sees across the window when he opened up the curtain.

Or, there’s another possibility in which what the notes say is of Yoongi’s imagination; in a way he just imagined Jungkook’s twisted face appearing right in front of him and that is assuming he is going to die etc; since mentioned in the Magic Shop book that at times of death; faces of those beloved would appear to them; and if this happens means that Yoongi did die in the end; nobody saved him.

The part of Jungkook’s twisted face makes me realise that Yoongi must have betrayed him or something to the extent that Jungkook gave a twisted face. Please know that Jungkook and Yoongi are of the original pairing as well from the very beginning.

8th note: Hoseok 10 May YEAR 22

My narcolepsy occurred anytime, anywhere. I always ended up having dreams about Mom when I blacked out. The dreams were all alike. I was heading somewhere with Mom on a bus.

The video posted with this was when Hoseok blacked out along the expressway in I Need U; see many thought he overdosed on pills but little did we know that he was taking those pills as medication but he also had narcolepsy which caused him to faint and black out often.

narcolepsy = a condition characterized by an extreme tendency to fall asleep whenever in relaxing surroundings.

Reference

so, taking this into account along with Hoseok’s Munchausen’s disease which was already revealed in Mama.

Munchausen syndrome is a factitious disorder, a mental disorder in which a person repeatedly and deliberately acts as if he or she has a physical or mental illness when he or she is not really sick. Munchausen syndrome is considered a mental illness because it is associated with severe emotional difficulties.

Reference

now im thinking, there’s a possibility Hoseok has this in order to stay with Jimin in the hospital but his prime illness is the narcolepsy in which he blacks out and falls asleep.

9th Note: Taehyung 20 May YEAR 22

I wanted to kill myself instead of Dad. If i could, i wanted to drop dead right then and there.

the accompanying video is that of Taehyung and Hoseok in the room with my guess, Taehyung’s younger sister, to which he was covered in blood. this came from Euphoria, and if this occurred, it meant that Seokjin was able to save Taehyung from killing his own father, and that the HYYH timeline has changed as mentioned in my Euphoria theory.

see, this is a different parallel to what the webtoon posted; in which originally Namjoon was jailed because Seokjin didnt interact with him as such, hence why he was unable to pick up the phone call from Taehyung when he stabbed his father. This is why he was arrested; I'm assuming for the murder and not for graffiti.

but now instead of Taehyung being arrested, he is saved in a way, that he won't be going to jail and that upon interacting with Namjoon, he is not in jail right now; sort of saving him as well.

10th Note: Jimin 15 May YEAR 22

“Run, Jimin.” We all started running. I was caught up in the excitement and ran with them. The snacks and plastic soda bottles flew in the air.

the video posted together is the scene of the boys in Euphoria in the cafeteria. see, here, I'm assuming the boys do visit Jimin in the hospital yet whether or not they knew of his condition, that I am unsure of.

however, in HYYH: the Notes, it seemed as though Yoongi knew of his illness aside from Hoseok.

yet, there is a possibility since because of Jimin’s illness is still roughly unknown, he might be hallucinating about these memories, it’s a possibility.

11th Note: Jungkook 22 May YEAR 22

At some point, we were all running along the coastal road. I was out of breath, sweaty, and had a splitting headache. But I didn’t stop because they continued on.

the video posted showed the scene of Jungkook walking along and running along to which the rest of the boys followed. I felt as though you could feel the real brotherhood here.

12th Note: Taehyung 22 May YEAR 22

It was like the last scene in my dream. The only difference was that Seokjin was up there instead of me.

the video posted was that in the Euphoria; in which Taehyung and Seokjin switched places. instead of Taehyung committing suicide, Seokjin did.

interesting that the events sort of changed here, i mean although we know they are from different videos, bighit has decided to string something else instead now, from Jungkook in INU running along to how Seokjin would sacrifice himself on the same day; this is not the same timeline but i guess bighit is forcing it to be since now they allocated years.

yet, in the original HYYH: the Notes, this happened,

Taehyung 22 May YEAR 22

I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldn’t eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldn’t be able to see me when he passed by. “He’s only one year younger than me. No, I don’t really care. Anyway, I’m not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.”

Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldn’t contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my father’s blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.

it seemed as though Taehyung was in trouble and most likely Namjoon or Seokjin is on the phone with someone and they're trying to prevent Taehyung from going into jail but the fact that he needs to own up to his mistakes etc.

possibly, this might be where everything spiraled down and not just on April 11. yet if you look at the Smeraldo notes that was being posted recently, it follows the one of Euphoria, so as to which one is correct or if it’s in sequence, nobody knows.

it is possibly if these events happened one after another.

Yoongi 8 June Year 22

I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word ‘Dream’ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didn’t fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasn’t in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt.

I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had ‘Dream’ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.

here, it seemed as though Yoongi goes under rehabilitation, mostly the juvenile one since he is still in his early 20s but for what, no one knows.

13th Note: Namjoon 13 July YEAR 22

Several days ago, I’d been here and seen some graffiti. I’d automatically looked around, but Taehyung had been nowhere in sight. I stared at the graffiti painted all over the wall for a while.

the video posted was the one from highlight reels, in which Namjoon got off a bus stop to find the Save Me, I’m Fine graffiti on.

i am not sure whether this is the same bus stop that keeps on appearing in Namjoon’s HYYH: the Notes but it’s worth a shot.

14th Note: Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22

The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. She was lying in the middle of the road. Dark red blood flowed down the road.

the video posted was the one from the highlight reel. sad to say that she was hit by a car as she rushed to meet Seokjin on the other side of the road. in all honesty, I still have no idea who these girls are being part of the highlight reel because originally they are not part of the story which was focused on brotherhood but i guess when they expanded to do other eras, they had to include it somehow in the story.

yet interesting, based on the HYYH: the Notes, L version, this occurred roughly 2 weeks before.

Seokjin 15 August YEAR 22

After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didn’t seem to be opened yet. It wasn’t that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards. Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flower’s existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasn’t looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isn’t officially open but he could deliver it to me. “Why do you need this flower?” I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person.

this was where if you checked the Smeraldo blog post number 8 here, the florist mentioned how someone was looking to order a bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers, to which in this case I'm assuming Seokjin wanted to get to give to the girl yet when he wanted to, as based on the highlight reel, she ended up being hit by a car/vehicle.

15th Note: Jungkook 22 May YEAR 22

I didnt tell anyone, but I felt on that long-ago day that I had finally found a real family. Real brothers.

the video posted was the one from Euphoria, instead of Jungkook in the INU clothes, they are in pure white, but are at the same place. true family; truebrothers.

this line is where it hits home.

but anyway, time to organize the dates now, so there a lot of overlapping dates but all occurring in YEAR 22; the year in which I believe Seokjin begins to travel back in time to save the boys.

if you see based on the 15th note, it is pretty clear that all the boys are still there and alive but whether or not they are happy is another question.

basically, the 5th and 6th note, is just background information on the boys but the more important ones are all happening in YEAR 22.

so it starts off with how Yoongi was almost killed in an accident, most likely because he was drunk and on the road on 7 April.

Yet, on 11 April, the day to which Seokjin keeps going back in time, Seokjin tries to save Namjoon and does so by interacting with him at the gas station. not like the first time in which Seokjin didnt even bother to make conversation or small talk with him.

On the same day, Jungkook attempted to commit suicide by being on top of the building but was saved by Yoongi calling him on the phone.

now, looking at Hoseok’s notes.

2 March YEAR 22

I liked being among people. When I left the orphanage, I worked part time at a fast food restaurant, having a knack of making others smile while I work. I liked that kind of work. Actually, in my life, there were very few reasons for me to laugh or to be cheerful. It’s clear that I’ve seen more bad people than the good ones. Maybe that’s the reason why I liked the job. If I smiled brightly, spoke loudly and reacted cheerfully, I could pretend, even to myself, that I felt that way, even if it was deliberately done by me. My mood improved when I laughed loudly, and when I treated people kindly, I became a kind person. Yet, there were hard days as well. After cleaning the store and going back home, even taking a step was difficult. There days filled with fussy customers too. But even so, it was easier to hold it in because of my friends back then, as compared to now.

Sometimes I thought of my friends when I look at the store packed with customers. Seokjin Hyung who transferred schools without saying anything, Namjoon, who disappeared one morning, Yoongi Hyung who was expelled and won’t pick up my calls, Taehyung, who knows, where or what kind of accident is he possibly in now, and Jimin, who never returned to school and the last time I saw him was at the emergency room. I had seen Jungkook wearing the school uniform a few times through the window, but he never visited the store. I wondered if all those times have passed by now.

Hearing the sound of a customer, I gave a loud greeting. I looked towards the door with a bright and healthy smile.

it seemed as though Hoseok reminiscence them a lot, wondering how they are but he is skilled at hiding his emotions, taking on a job to hide away his worries by being around people and hiding from his past.

looking at Taehyung’s notes now,

29 March YEAR 22

The gas station owner spat on the ground as he left. I laid down on the ground in the same position that I had crouched in. I was drawing at the back of the wall of the gas station, only to be caught by the owner, who beat me and angrily asked what I was doing, drawing on somebody else’s wall. I rolled around the floor. Getting hit was something that I was familiar and at the same time, unfamiliar with.

I started graffiti not too long ago. I took a spray can that someone threw away and started drawing on the wall. It was yellow colour. I sprayed it whatever I wanted and then looked up at it. I looked at the distinct yellow colour paint on the grey paint, then picked up another spray can. For a long time, I sprayed unknowingly on the wall. Only when the spray cans were all empty did my hands stop. I threw the can away and stepped back. My breath came as though I had been running with all my might.

I didn’t know what the colours on the wall meant. I didn’t know what I had done or why had I done it. But I had done it. I would assume that what I expressed were my feelings. I spewed out my heart onto the wall. Initially, I thought it was ugly. I thought it was something dirty. Something idiotic, useless and pitiful. I didn’t like it. I rubbed some of the wet paint with my hand. I wanted to erase it all. Yet, instead of erasing it, I ended up mixing and blending the colours and moulded different shapes. I sat against the wall. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not I liked it. It wasn’t a matter of whether it was beautiful or not. It was just me.

When I stood up, I coughed. I spat blood onto my hand. Then I saw someone’s hand picking up the spray can. I followed the hand up until I saw a face. I saw Namjoon Hyung’s face. I laughed. I thought I was seeing a ghost. Hyung reached out a hand. I simply looked up at him. Hyung took my hand and pulled me up. His hand was warm.

Taehyung is seen to be caught to vandalize the walls at the gas station and fortunately for him, Namjoon was there, as always.

on 7 April however, Jungkook bumps into Yoongi who is still haunted by the piano.

7 April YEAR 22

it seems like this the part in the first love short film, where a car almost crashed into him, instead of the music store having a broken window, Yoongi broke it instead.

it seems like here, alternatively Jungkook was the one who broke the window first.

however, there seems to be something happening between Namjoon and Taehyung on this day, based on HYYH: the Notes, V Version

Namjoon 11 April YEAR 22

I was looking for a t-shirt for a while until Taehyung reached for a t-shirt behind me. It was a shirt that had the same printed letters as the one that I was wearing right now. With an awkward laugh, he removed the ripped shirt. In the faint illumination of the lights that hung from the trailer ceiling, I momentarily caught a glimpse of his bruised back. Hoseok looked at me with a shocked expression. Taehyung put on my shirt and looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Then he laughed.

“This punk. He arrived late after getting caught by the police for doing graffiti.” I pretended to hit Taehyung and he pretended to be sorry. Yoongi Hyung who had been sitting at the corner of the trailer, slowly approached Taehyung and smacked his shoulder.

so that means Namjoon, Taehyung and Yoongi saw each other on this day; yet no one had the whereabouts of Jungkook.

yet later on at night, Namjoon bumps into Seokjin.

11 April YEAR 22

I finished with the gas and went in. But something brushed against my face and fell. Surprised, I took a step backwards to look at it. At the bottom of my feet was a crumpled bill. Out of reflex, I bent down to pick it up. The people in the car burst into laughter. I stopped for a moment. Seokjin Hyung was watching me from a distance. I couldn’t lift my head up. What do you do if you make eye contact with people who ride in expensive cars but put down and ridicule others? You have to face them. If you think what they’re doing is unjust, you have to face them. It’s not a matter of bravery, or pride or equality but it is something that needs to be done.

However, this was a gas station and I’m a part time-worker. If a customer threw trash, I had to clean it up. And if they cursed, I had to listen. And if they threw a bill on the floor, I had to pick it up. My body shook with humiliation. I clenched my fists. My fingernails dug into my skin.

At that moment, someone’s hand picked up the bill. The people in the car muttered and left as if the fun in it was gone. Even after they left, I couldn’t lift my head up. I lacked the confidence to look into Seokjin Hyung’s eyes. It wasn’t as though Hyung didn’t know about my cowardliness, my poverty and my circumstances. I didn’t want to show him this explicitly. Hyung stood at the end of my gaze and didn’t move. Neither did he approach me or did he speak.

this is just like the webtoon itself. the day that Seokjin visited Namjoon in the detention centre was on May 22, but the reason why he was there was the fight between him and a rude customer on April 11 which Seokjin eventually prevented.

yet on this day when Namjoon is in jail, it meant that Taehyung actually killed his father and he was being arrested. so instead of Taehyung dying, he killed his own father.

this was in line with Yoongi’s Note from the S version.

11 April YEAR 22

I kept on walking, though I had a sense that Jungkook was following from a distance. As the train tracks stretched out, containers continued to appear. It’s the 4thcontainer from the back. Hoseok said he had plans to meet with Namjoon and Taehyung, and told me to come too. I told him I would come, but I didn’t really intend to go. I hated getting involved with others and Hoseok knew that. He probably didn’t have any thoughts of me turning up.

When I opened the door, I could see Hoseok’s surprised face. Then he discovered Jungkook and approached him with mixed emotions. I passed by both of them and headed to the container. “How long has it been?” I could hear the sounds of Hoseok trying to pull Jungkook and Jungkook being embarrassed.

I could hear Namjoon bringing Taehyung in. Taehyung’s shirt was torn on one side. When we asked what happened, Namjoon pretended to rap his knuckles against Taehyung. “This brat was late because he was arrested by the police for doing graffiti and I had to go pick him up.” Taehyung made an exaggerated apologetic face and talked animatedly how his shirt was torn when he ran away from the police.

I sat in the corner and watched them. Namjoon gave Taehyung a shirt to change into, Hoseok pulled out hamburgers and drinks. Jungkook being in the middle but was unsure of what to do or where to go. Looking back in high school, this was how it was. In the hideout classroom, Namjoon would give Taehyung a talk, Hoseok would move around noisily while Jungkook would hover, not knowing where to go.

How long has it been since we have gathered. I don’t remember it well. How are Seokjin Hyung and Jimin? A thought unlike of mine came to me. This was a place I had come for the first time, but my heart is already at ease.

the idea of brotherhood being family is being re-established here, knowing that despite your whereabouts, as long as you’re with your family, it’s home and puts you at ease no matter what.

yet at the same time, the whole scene of Jungkook being at the top relates back here, turns out Jungkook was trying to kill himself after being beaten up by some people he bumped into.

the beginning introduced at the Her Notes,

11 April YEAR 22

In the end, it turned out just like I wanted. I deliberately ran into the thugs on the street and got beaten up till I was satisfied. I laughed while I was getting beaten up, and they called me a crazy maniac. I leaned against the shutter door and looked at the sky. It was already night. There was nothing in the pitch-black sky. I could only see a clump of grass in the distance. It was on the side of the wind. It was just like me. I felt like I was going to cry so I forced myself to laugh instead.

I closed my eyes and saw my stepfather clear his throat. My stepbrother kicked me and laughed. My stepbrother’s relatives looked elsewhere or began to talk useless things. It was as if I wasn’t there, like my existence didn’t matter. In front of them, my mother was at a loss. I tried to stand up but instead dust rose and I coughed. It hurt as if I had been stabbed at my solar plexus. I went up to the roof of the construction site. The night city stretched out in a terrible colour. I climbed up on the railing with both of my arms stretched out. I had one leg out and I almost lost my balance. I thought I could die with just one step. If I died, it will all end. No one would be sad without me.

Answer Notes:

11 April YEAR 22

I walked on the top of the railing of the roof top. The building had been abandoned while it was in the middle of its construction. When I stretched out one foot in the air, the darkness engulfed beneath me. The night city spread out hazily below the railings. Neon lights, honking horns and smoking dust swirled in the darkness. For a moment, I felt dizzy. I stretched out my arms to regain my balance. Then I thought. It was only one step. If I took one step, everything would end. I leaned my body more towards the darkness. The darkness that started at the bottom of my feet now came up to devour my body whole. When I closed my eyes, the dizzy city, sounds and fear all disappeared. I stopped breathing. Then, I leaned my body towards the darkness even more. I didn’t have any thoughts. No one came to my mind. I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I wouldn’t remember anything. This was just the end.

At this moment, my phone rang. My senses came back to me as though I woke up from a distant dream. My dulled senses returned immediately. I pulled out my phone. It was Yoongi Hyung.

He wanted everything to end but somehow Yoongi sopped him, just like how Jungkook stopped Yoongi on 2 May.

but in the webtoon, turns out Seokjin stopped him.

moreover, it seemed as though in the beginning of the day, there is some relationship with Seokjin as well, based on the HYYH: the Notes, E version.

Seokjin 11 April YEAR 22

I came to the sea alone. The blue, broad sea was one that could be opened whenever in the viewfinder as it always had. It was all the same, the light that sparkled from the water, the wind from the pine forest. The only difference was that I was here alone. As soon as I pressed the shutter, the scenery in front of my eyes flickered, that moment, on that day, 2 years and 10 months before seemed to appear and disappear. That day when we were all sitting in front of the sea. Though we were tired and times were rough, we were together. I turned the car and stepped on the accelerator. I entered the tunnel and passed by a rest stop. When I reached vicinity of the school that we all attended, I opened the car window. It was a night in spring. The air was warm and the cherry blossoms fluttered in the trees that lined the walls of the school. I left and passed several intersections, made several left and right turns. In the distance, I could see the lights of the gas station where Namjoon works.

here is where Seokjin begins to unravel his mistakes by doing things slightly different as seen in the webtoon.

yet also, here, Seokjin wakes up and instead of going back to the 11 April, he wakes up to

11 April YEAR 22

The moment I closed my eyes, it was the 4thApril yet again. I opened the curtain with the glaring sunlight entering the room. When I raised my body, I was overwhelmed and closed my eyes. My surroundings changed to one that was of a reddish image and I saw Taehyung’s appearance. He was standing alone at the top of the observation platform at the beach. That happened on 22 May. It was the past and the future, something that already happened in the past but could still happen in the future. It was at that moment I thought everything was resolved.

I saw Taehyung climbing up the ladder as the sun began to set. The sky was still blue but gradually it began to have a red colour seeping in. When I lifted my head, I saw Taehyung climbing the ladder. When he reached the top, he looked down at us for a moment. Afterwards, he jumped. Just like a bird, like he had wings. Then for one moment, it seemed as if he stopped in the air, just like that the mirror cracked, the wind blew the curtains open and my senses came back.

And just like that, I opened my eyes and it was the 4th April again.

based on the webtoon, Seokjin goes back to the 11 April but here in the Notes, it’s the 4 April, which one is exactly true then?

if you look here, in the notes from Tear,

11 April YEAR 22

With a screech, the car had barely came to a stop. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t see the light changing. Students in familiar uniforms were crossing the street and looking at me through the window. Some people were pointing at me. I forced a smile and bowed my head.

I knew what I had to do. But I wasn’t unafraid. It was more of could I put an end to all these misfortunes and pain? What is the point of repeating the same failure mean that I wont be able to achieve success? But is it telling me to give up? Is our happiness just a meaningless hope? Uncomfortable thoughts like these raced through my mind.

At some point, I approached the intersection with a gas station and I could see Namjoon filling up some cars. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out slowly. I could see all of their faces when I tried to recall them one by one – Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. I changed lanes and then entered the gas station. I didn’t want to give up. Even if there was a 1% chance, I wouldn’t give up. Through the window, I saw Namjoon approach.

this is when Seokjin knew he had to save them, somehow or rather, he aimed to save 5 of them, all excluding Namjoon from killing themselves etc. at most what happened if Seokjin didnt save Namjoon is that he would end up in jail.

so this deviates already from the INU timeline in which Namjoon dies at the gas station.

also, if you look at the webtoon, it means on June 12 they went to the beach together, this is before they separated.

looking at Namjoon’s notes from S version.

28 April YEAR 22

I knew that something was up with Taehyung for a long time. Even if he pretended occasionally that nothing was wrong, his momentarily actions, expressions or tone would give away his anxiety and the facy that he didn’t know what to do. He was often in and out of the police station and I could see the wounds on his body. And also, he had nightmares.

The reason why I never really asked, or asked what was going on or telling him to let out everything was because I was waiting for him to do it. On one side, I also doubted if I should be the person to hear his worries. I wanted to be a Hyung to him, I pretended to be an adult, yet, when my friends are having a hard time, I couldn’t protect them. They all looked up to me being an adult yet I am really not an adult. I only hesitated, unable to look directly at what’s in front of me.

Yoongi Hyung died. Taehyung had that nightmare again. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, he woke up startled and spent a long time sitting and staring into space. He didn’t wipe his tears and mumbled incoherently. He said Yoongi was dead and Jungkook had an accident and I had been caught in a fight. He said that he dream that kind of dream often, that it was so clear that it seemed as if it was real and even this was part of the dream. “Hyung, don’t go anywhere.” Taehyung’s voice wavered anxiously.

this would be in link when Jungkook also wakes up from a nightmare, something similar happened to him that he eventually broke out in a fever as mentioned in the notes.

on May 2, Yoongi is the one now trying to commit suicide by setting the room on fire but was saved by Jungkook.

on this day, Jungkook tells Namjoon that he wants to be like him but has a nightmare of Yoongi.

2 May YEAR 22

I turned my head and was in front of Namjoon Hyung’s container. I opened the door and went in. I gathered the strewn clothes, covered myself in them and bent down. The cold came down on me. My whole body was trembling, I wanted to cry. But no tears came.

I opened the door to see Yoongi Hyung standing on top of the bed. Flames were coming up from the sheet. At that moment, my whole body was engulfed in rage and fear that I couldn’t hold back. I wasn’t someone who could speak well. I was slow to express my feelings or to convince someone. Tears welled in my eyes and I coughed yet no words came out. As I ran into the flames, the only words I could spit out in that moment were “We promised to go to the beach together.”

“Why are you like this? Was it a nightmare?” Someone shook my shoulder and I opened my eyes. It was Namjoon Hyung. I didn’t know why but I felt relieved. Hyung felt my forehead and said I had a fever. Really, that was the case. The inside of my mouth was burning yet I felt unbearably cold. I had a throbbing headache and my throat hurts. I barely managed to eat the medicine that Hyung brought for me. “Sleep more. We’ll talk later.” I nodded my head. Then I said this. “Can I become an adult like Hyung?” Namjoon Hyung looked back.

on May 10, Hoseok fell on the expressway as such; but he didn't die.

on 12 May, Hoseok thought he saw his own mother in the hospital as he was being treated for collapsing on the expressway.

as seen here, and in the webtoon.

12 May YEAR 22

I opened the door of the emergency room and ran down the stairs. My heart was racing as if it was about to explode. The face that I had a glimpse of in the hospital hallway was of my mother’s. At the moment I looked back, the elevator doors opened and people pushed their way out. I pushed desperately among the people. And I saw my mother’s form going into the emergency room doors. Anxiously, I ran down two steps at a time. Without resting, I ran dome several flights.

“Mom!”. My mother stopped. I took another step forward. She turned around. I went down another flight. Her became visible. It was at that moment that my heel of the foot slipped on the edge of the stair and my center of gravity was pushed forward. I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself that I was going to fall flat on my face. Someone grabbed my arm, and thanks to that person, I narrowly avoided the fall and regained my balance. When I looked back, I saw Jimin standing there with a shocked expression. Before I could even say thank you, I turned my head again.

A woman was there. She looked surprised. Next to her was a young boy, staring at me and blinking with his big eyes. She isn’t my mother. I stood at the top of the stairs, blankly staring at the woman’s face.

I couldn’t remember what I said to escape that situation. I also didn’t ask how Jimin appeared there in the first place. My mind was too cluttered to be concerned about the small details. The woman wasn’t my mother. I might even have known that from the start. It had been more than ten years since she had left me alone at the theme park. My mother would have been older by now, and different from what I remembered. Even if I met her, I wouldn’t recognize her. No, by now, I could barely even remember her face.

I looked back. Jimin was following me in silence. Back in high school, after we parted ways in the emergency room, Jimin said he had to stay in the hospital. I thought of how he looked as if he didn’t know what to do when asked if he wanted to get out of the hospital. Couldn’t it be Jimin was trapped just like I was, unable to cling or break away from memories that bind us? I took a step towards him.

“Jimin-ah, let’s get out of here.”

so this is how Jimin and Hoseok got out of the hospital and somehow reunited with the rest of the boys.

on May 15, it seemed that the boys visited Jimin in the hospital, probably because he was hospital bound and couldnt leave and so they stuck to playing in the hospital’s cafeteria. but eventually as seen here, they all left the hospital.

15 May YEAR 22

When I opened my eyes, Hoseok Hyung was standing there. The familiar ceiling looked down at me with a familiar darkness. Startled, I tried to sipt up but he placed a finger on his lips. Everyone was sleep, my surroundings were quiet. Hyung immediately offered me a T-shirt, jerking his chin toward the exit of the hospital.

“We all came together” He mentioned that Namjoon Hyung was standing guard while Yoongi Hyung was buying time with the nurses. Jungkook and Taehyung would join us at the elevator in no time. At first, I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Hyung reached out a hand to me, while I was still in a daze.

The day I left the hospital. I had dreamt of that day sometimes. I wanted to leave the hospital and meet my friends. To spend some time with them laughing and talking the way we used to before. But now I didnt know. Was it a good idea to leave? My parents actually hid me in this place and pretended that I was someone who didn’t exist. People whispered I had a mental illness. I don’t know if Hoseok Hyung thought the same. Maybe he thought I was strange, that spending time with me made him uncomfortable.

“Come on, we don’t have time.” Maybe because of Hyung’s urging, the sound of the clock’s second hand sounded weirdly fast. Thump. Thump. The sound of footsteps, like an auditory hallucination, came closer and closer to the hospital room. Hyung and I turned simultaneously to look at the door, then looked at each other. Hyung’s hand was still in front of me.

this is how Jimin got out of the hospital despite being placed there by his own parents hence the story continues into 16 May.

the reason for Jimin being in the hospital was because of the incident that happened in the flower arboretum when he was young but of course the webtoon didnt specify the events that occurred but there was a pool of blood.

16 May is when Jimin visits Hoseok’s house which is very high.

Jimin 16 May YEAR 22

Hoseok Hyung’s house was actually quite high. A rooftop room of a deadlocked house at the end of a narrow, winding alley, some distance from a long street; that was Hyung’s house. When I entered the house, which was just one room, Hyung bragged that it was the top floor in the whole city; from which all the places that we have grown up from could be seen, laid down below our feet. Hyung said that there is so many things to see from this rooftop room. The nearby train station could be seen, and along the train tracks, the containers were also visible, Namjoon Hyung was living in one of those. If I look a little more, the school that we all attend would appear.

After finding the school, I lifted my head and looked at the other side of the city. At the foot of the mountain, there were some large apartment buildings. Right there, that’s my house, no, that’s my parent’s house. I didn’t tell anyone that I ran away from the hospital. If I did, they would have called my parents. Right now, maybe, I don’t know, they might be looking for me. I don’t have the confidence to see them face-to-face. Though I came out of the hospital, there is no way that I’m going home. Even as such, I have no desire to go back to the hospital. But I had nowhere to go and had no money. I stood hesitantly, before Hyung told me to follow him, leading the way, and how we arrived at this place – his house.

My eyes looked back to the apartment houses again. I didn’t want to meet my parents or go back to the hospital even though eventually I had to. I took a deep breath in. It seemed like a thought alone could cause a seizure. Truthfully, I didn’t trust myself enough to endure any other place other than the hospital. I could be rushed to the hospital again. I was so afraid, I couldn’t stand it.

this is how the boys met up after a while, sort of being reunited by Seokjin, and looks like Yoongi knows Jimin’s discomfort about the flower arboretum.

19 May YEAR 22

In the end, we went to the flower arboretum. I lied that I don’t remember what happened at that place but I had to quit lying. I had to stop hiding in the hospital and having seizures. If I wanted to do that, I had to go to that place. With that in mind, I went to the bus stop every day yet I couldn’t ride the bus to go to the flower arboretum.

Yoongi hyung came and sat down next to me after 3 buses passed by. I asked him what he was up to, but he shrugged and said that he was bored and had nothing to do. Then he asked why was I sitting here. I lowered my head and kicked the dirt with my shoes. I asked myself why was I sitting here in the first place. I had no courage. Now I wanted to be fine, I wanted to pretend that I knew a bit, to surpass it on my own, yet in reality, I was afraid. I was scared that I might see something, I couldn’t withstand against it, that I might have another seizure.

Yoongi hyung looked relaxed.

as mentioned this could be why the pairing of Jimin and Yoongi came about. ( read theory here )

now moving on to May 20, it seemed as though Taehyung had an outburst. this was from Hoseok’s notes in Tear album.

20 May YEAR 22

I took Taehyung and stood facing the police officer. “You’ve worked hard.” Though it was hard to say with my head hung low, it wasn’t that feeling. The police station wasn’t that far from Taehyung’s house. If he lived in the same far-off place, would Taehyung have not been in and out of the police station often. Why had Taehyung’s parents chose a place so near to the police station? Why was the world unfair to such a foolishly kind and good kid. I slung my arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and asked if he was hungry, acting as if nothing much happened. Taehyung shook his head. I asked if he was glad that the police bought him food yet he didn’t answer.

We walked in the sunlight. In my heart, a cold wind blew. If I feel this way, how would he feel. How torn and broken in his heart? Did he even have any heart left at all? How much torment must be inside? Thinking of all these thoughts, I couldn’t look at him and so I looked at the sky. In the blurry sunlight, an airplane flew past. The first time I had seen Taehyung’s wounds was when he was in Namjoon’s container hideout. I didn’t say anything to Taehyung, who was laughing brightly for getting a t-shirt yet there was a thud in my heart.

I don’t have any parents. I don’t even have any memory of my father and only up till I was 7 years old did I have any memory of my mother. When it came to pain regarding families, nobody was jealous of me. People told me this. That you have to overcome the pain, accept it and grow accustomed to it. That you have to reconcile to forgive. Only when this is done, you are able to live. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it because I didn’t know. It wasn’t a refusal since I hated it. Nothing was achieved since I didn’t try. No one told me how to do it. The world gave me new wounds before my old wounds healed. I knew that there wasn’t anyone in the world who didn’t have wounds. But why did anyone need deep ones? Why were they needed? Why did things happen this way?

“Hyung. I’m fine, I can go by myself.” Taehyung said at the fork of the road. “I know, jerk,” I didn’t pay attention and took the lead. “Really, I’m fine. Look at me, it’s nothing.” Taehyung tried to smile. I didn’t answer him. He wasn’t fine. He wasn’t okay but he couldn’t stand acknowledging it. He was turning away. That was his habit. He flipped up his hood and followed. “Are you really not hungry?” I asked as we were nearing his house. Taehyung smiled his foolish smile and nodded. I watched his retreating back and turned away. The paths that we both walked were narrow and desolate. We were both alone. I suddenly turned to look behind me when my phone rang.

this reminds me of Euphoria in which Taehyung and Hoseok are in the room. this is probably after his outburst with his father.

further continuation of Taehyung’s notes are here.

20 May YEAR 22

I looked down at my hand. It was stained with blood. Suddenly, my legs had no strength. I started to collapse but someone grabbed me from behind. Murky sunlight was shining through the window. Noona was crying and Hoseok Hyung was standing there without saying anything. The dirty household goods and blanket remained as they were. There was no one there where my father stood. I couldn’t recall how or when he had left the room.

The rage and sadness of when I attacked him was still in me. I didn’t know what held me back from stabbing him. I didn’t how to comfort my crazy heart. I didn’t want to kill my father, I wanted to die. In that moment, I just wanted to die. I couldn’t cry. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick and destroy and ruin things yet I didn’t do any one of them.

“Hyung. I’m sorry. I’m okay, so just go,” My voice came out unsteady with how my mad heart is beating. It didn’t seem like my voice. I sent Hoseok Hyung away even though he didn’t want to leave and stared down at my hands. Blood is seeping through the white bandage. Instead of stabbing my father, I fell to the floor with the alcohol bottle. The bottle had shattered and cut my hand. I closed my eyes, yet the world started spinning. What should I think and what should I do to live. When I came to my senses, I was looking down at Namjoon Hyung’s phone number. Even in this case, no, because I was in this situation, I valued his existence so much more. I wanted to talk to him. Hyung. I almost killed my father, the father who raised me, my father who beats me up everyday. No, actually, I killed him. I killed him so many times. In my heart, I killed him so many times. I wanted to die. I really wanted to kill him. I don’t know what to do now, I don’t know. Hyung. I just wanted to see you.

it seemed like here Taehyung didnt kill his dad, so it doesn't follow the I Need U timeline but rather the Euphoria one instead. hence why Hoseok and Taehyung are paired up as well, coincidence or not. ( read theory here )

now continuing on to May 22 when Taehyung was meant to jump, he had a fall out with Namjoon as seen from the notes in Her.

22 May YEAR 22

Taehyung here felt betrayed but this could lead up to the next part as seen below.

the before events were seen in Namjoon’s ones from tear album.

22 May YEAR 22

“It’s barely a year age gap difference. No, who said it? I am the Hyung. I know. But he won’t forever be young. I’m asking if it isn’t it about time he knows something. I get it. No, I am not mad. I’m sorry.”

I ended the call and looked down at the floor. A sad ocean breeze swept through the pine forest. My chest was stifled that it felt that it might explode. On the ground, half of it was sand and half of it was dirt, some ants formed a line and were heading elsewhere, To someone who was greater than me, both physically and symbolically, would it be clear of where I was going, why I was going and how it would turn out?

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my parents. It wasn’t that I didn’t worry for my younger sibling. I wanted to turn away if I could, but since I couldn’t do anything but be myself, I wasn’t able to. And so, what’s the point in struggling or being angry, frustrated or wanting to leave?

I could see the back of someone’s back, standing rooted to the ground just like me. It was Jungkook. At some point, Jungkook said this. “Hyung, I want to be an adult like Hyung.” At that time, I couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t an adult that I was proud of, no, I am not an adult. Saying something like that was cruel. To someone who has yet to receive the trust, interest and affection that he naturally should have, how could I say that getting older, growing taller and living a little more doesn’t make one an adult. I hoped Jungkook’s future would be more kinder than mine, but I couldn’t promise that I could be of help to him along the way. I approached him and slung my arm around his shoulder. Jungkook lifted his eyes and looked at me.

Namjoon’s notes are always more abstract for some reason i have no idea why. hence why Jungkook and Namjoon are paired as well. ( read theory here )

on May 22 is when by right Taehyung jumps and looking to the events in the day it continues the one from the Euphoria, the whole time I suspected it to be Jungkook to be the one saying it to Seokjin but it seems like Taehyung is the one who was saying it as seen here. the reason why I suspected Jungkook saying it was due to his accident that Seokjin would eventually cause.

22 May YEAR 22

“Hyung, is that everything? Are you hiding anything else from us?” Our surroundings suddenly grew quiet. Everyone’s gaze turned towards me. I looked straight at Seokjin Hyung. Hyung, too, looked back at me. His gaze was full of exhaustion and shame, and a little bit of pitiful. The moment that I was about to bring up the issue, someone grabbed my arm. I didn’t need to look. I knew it was Namjoon Hyung.

“Hyung, what does it have to do with you? We’re not even real brothers.” I could feel Namjoon Hyung looking at me. I didn’t lift my head and shook his hand off. I knew it too. I was mad at Namjoon Hyung for no reason, repeating the same words that he used when he was on the phone. I said I was angry, that I was upset. Yet, Hyung’s words weren’t wrong. I am barely a year younger than him. I wasn’t his real brother. It was true that I should take care of myself. Regardless, I was upset. I was angrier because I had no words to use against him. I wished Hyung would have understood what I felt.

“Taehyung-ah, I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about this now.” It was Seokjin Hyung who opened his mouth. Seokjin Hyung was the one who called my name, Namjoon Hyung didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, stop? Since it’s already up, let’s talk about it. Hyung, there is still something you’re hiding from us.”

“Let’s go out to talk.” Namjoon Hyung said while he grabbed my arm. I tried to shake him off again but he tried to drag me out. I tried to hold out and spoke. “Let me go. What right to you have to stop me? Hyung, what do you know? You don’t know anything but you think you’re a great guy, right?” It was then then he let go of my arm. When he let go made me stumble. No, it wasn’t just him letting go that made e stumble. But at that time when he did, it was like as if everything that sustained me were cracking, breaking and crumbling down. Maybe I hoped he never let go of my arm. That instead, he would get angry and drag me out. Maybe I hoped that he would scold me like a real brother, as if to someone who was so close and precious that you can’t ignore.

But Hyung let go of my arm. I just laughed. “What’s so special about being together? What are we to each other? In the end, we’re all alone.” That was the moment that Seokjin Hyung hit me.

now looking at the ending, this is where the whole outburst between Seokjin and Taehyung started and though the BST Jp isn't part of the timeline, I believe you should include it in to make sense as to why Seokjin even punched him in the face.

if only Taehyung knew that only by being together could Seokjin stop all of them from dying but I guess somethings are left to be untold, hence the truth untold maybe.

on May 31, Hoseok after dancing had a slight trauma etc

Hoseok 31 May YEAR 22

here, it seemed as though Hoseok is out of the hospital but it follows that of the highlight reel in which he and the girl are practicing to which later on the other notes mentioned that how Jimin isn't in the hospital anymore but is out dancing and that he is jealous of Hoseok.

right now, I am just disregarding all those that happened before YEAR 22 because they all just give background information on each of the boys and as to why they behave and act as such, so please take this into caution.

time to look at the notes from Her album,

Yoongi 8 June YEAR 22

I'm assuming this is the period that Yoongi goes into rehab for being an arsonist by setting himself on fire, or at least attempted to but somehow was saved by Seokjin.

based on the notes in Tear,

Yoongi 15 June YEAR 22

I wasn’t aware of what is happening but just the sound of music playing in my head. No matter how much alcohol I drink, or where I am, what I am doing is more important. If you want to know, it isn’t important. With faltering steps, I went out into the night. Just walking among the dust. Be it on the street, the street stall or the wall, I hit it. It didn’t matter. I just wanted to forget everything.

Jimin’s voice was still ringing in my ears. “Hyung. It’s Jungkook.” The next thing I remembered was going up the stairs in the hospital as if I was mad. It was a dark and weird pathway towards the north of the hospital. People who were wearing patient gowns walked past. My heart was racing. Everyone’s faces were pale. They had no facial expression. They all seemed as though they were dead. In my head, my breathing became more ragged.

I opened the door of the ward where Jungkook was lying down in slightly. I, myself, don’t know why but I turned my head away with a jerk. I couldn’t look at him. In that moment, I could hear the sounds of the piano, fire, the collapse of the building into pieces. I couldn’t even stick it up for him. I then thought,”It was because of me. If I wasn’t there, this wouldn’t have happened.” It was my mother’s voice, no, my voice, no, it was anybody’s voice. I couldn’t say anything during that painful time. I didn’t want to believe it. But then, Jungkook was lying down there. He was lying down with patients who looked dead passing by. I just couldn’t go inside. I couldn’t even confirm it. When I stood, my legs wanted to give up. I left with tears streaming down my face. I forced myself to laugh. I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried.

As I crossed the pedestrian crossing, someone grabbed my arm and I stopped. Who was it? No, it didn’t matter. Whoever it was, it was all over. “Don’t come to my side. Go. Please just throw me away. I also don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be hurt. And so, please don’t come near me.”

here, Yoongi blames himself for the cause of Jungkook’s accident so it seems as though the accident with Seokjin was one on 11 April, but Jungkook got into another one later on in June, beyond what possibly Seokjin could control. so technically, Seokjin didnt cause this accident.

the person who grabbed his arm is the girl that he spends time with in the highlight reel, the whole pedestrian scene being protagonist here.

for Taehyung, the idea of the girl following him based on the highlight reel could be seen here.

Taehyung 25 June YEAR 22

I deliberately delayed my steps as I sensed to the small steps that was following me. This was the 3rdtime already at the convenience store. If there was something different, it was that today they ran away when they saw me. They hung around a vacant spot behind the convenience store but as I turned up, they hid themselves again. They hid themselves well but their shadows were reaching to the front of the store. I let out a laugh. I pretended that I didn’t see but they began to follow me.

I entered a narrow alley. This is the only place in the neighbourhood without a broken streetlamp. The alley was long and the streetlamp was somewhere in the middle with my shadow stretching. The shadow now stretches behind me. It could have been stretching all the way to the person who was following me with ragged breath. I started walking a little bit faster. As I passed the streetlamp, my shadow disappeared beneath my feet. Not long after, a shadow that wasn’t mine appeared on the cement floor. I stopped walking and so did the movements. The two shadows of different heights stopped side by side.

I said, “I’m going to wait until you come here.” The shadow behind me leaped out of shock. Then it became still as if it wasn’t here. “I can see everything.” I pointed to the shadow. The footsteps became nearer and deliberately were noisy. I laughed.

the scene of her following Taehyung wherever they went, from one meeting at the convenience store to that at the train tracks. interesting that Taehyung has a keen eye on his surroundings.

Namjoon 30 June YEAR 22

I looked a bit strange as I pushed the open button of the door as if my own hands had a will of their own. There are these kind of moments. Moments that I felt have repeated for numerous times, though it was the first. The elevator door close before they opened again for people to push their way in. Among them, I looked for the person who tied her hair with a yellow rubber band. I didn’t press the button knowing that the person would be there, but I thought the person would certainly be there. I moved back, one step at a time. When my back hit the cold elevator wall, I looked up and saw the yellow rubber band.

A person’s back tells a lot of stories. I had known a few of them. There were some that I could guess yet there were some that were left alone after everything is over. I thought that you know someone when you can read everything just from his back. Then, wouldn’t there be someone who would know me just from reading my back? As I lifted my head, our gazes met in the mirror. In a flash, she avoided my eyes. This kind of thing happens often. When I lifted my head again, I only saw my face. I couldn’t see my back.

here, I'm not sure why Namjoon even mentioned this, just like what I explained in 1984, i guess he is talking about body language. i figure the back is somewhat by being able to read it, means you've known what the person is really feeling, in a way to say that the person let his guard down unknowingly.

continuing from the Hoseok story on 31 May, it is clearly seen on 3 July, Jimin dances together with him and some sort of rivalry forms but has also been extended to the girl that they both like based on the highlight reel.

Jimin 3 July YEAR 22

In the end, I sprawled onto the floor. I turned off the music and my surroundings went quiet, all I could hear was the beating of my heart. I pulled out my hand phone and played the choreography dance video that I had learned in the morning. Hyung’s movements were so smooth and accurate in the video. That was the result of his countless hours and sweat of practicing, and now since I wasn’t anywhere near as him, I was jealous. However, understanding and hoping are different and so I sighed often. Again I stood up. I imitated the turn as he had done it but I kept twisting my steps. I kept on making mistakes at the parts where we have to match the flow. We decide to match again tomorrow but until then I wanted to be seen as serious. Rather that a playful phrase, I wanted to be complimented as ‘better than expected’, I wanted to be recognized as someone who was equal and serious, one that could match with hyung.

in the HYYH Tear notes, Hoseok‘s notes come about and it’s about the girl agin in the highlight reel.

Hoseok 4 July YEAR 22

I was standing in the hallway the whole time she was receiving first aid. Though it was in the middle of the night, there were many people hovering around. I was soaked to the skin by the rain and my own sweat that my hair was dripping with it. I shook off the sweat and rain off my hair and put down the bag that was with her. A diversity of things came out tumbling out of it. Coins rolled onto the floor, even a ballpen and a towel fell out. In the middle, there was a airplane e-ticket. I picked it up and read it briefly.

Then, the doctor called me. He told me that she had a mild concussion and that it’s nothing to worry a lot about. Soon later, she came out as well. “Are you alright?” She said that her head hurt slightly and she took her bag from me. She saw that the e-ticket was peeking out and looked at my face. I changed the strap of my bag slung onto my shoulder and pretended that I didn’t see anything and said that we should go. It has been raining for some time already when we came to the front door. I stood at the front of the door.

“Hoseok-ah”. She called me. Her facial expression told me that she wanted to say something. “Let’s wait a while. I’ll buy an umbrella.” I recklessly ran into the rain. There was a convenience store far off in the distance. I knew that for some time ago she entered an overseas dance team audition. The airplane ticket meant that she made it. I didn’t want her to say it. I didn’t have the confidence to congratulate her.

this was like in the highlight reels where Hoseok carried her in the rain while Jimin suffered when he scraped himself against the nail.

on this day as mentioned, Jimin comes into play as well.

Jimin 4 July YEAR 22

By the time I came back to my senses, I washed my arm so much that I was losing skin. My hands trembled and I was out of breath. Blood ran down my arm. Looking at the mirror, my eyes were bloodshot. The incident came back to my in fragments.

In that moment, I lost my focus. It was during the dance when I wanted to match the dance with Noona from a dance club that I lost my flow and collided into her. I fell to the rough floor and my arm started to bleed. I suddenly remembered what happened at the flower arboretum. I thought I had overcome it. But then, that wasn’t the case. I only ran away. I had to wash it away. I had to look away. The me in the mirror was the same 8-year old me who ran away in the rain. Then I realized it. Noona fell down as well.

There wasn’t anyone in the practice room. I saw the door open ajar with the rain falling outside. I could see Hoseok hyung running. The rain was pouring onto him. I ran after them with an umbrella. I ran. In the end, I stopped and stood there.

I couldn’t do anything. All I could was fall and hurt someone, leave them behind with a part of my pain and then run after them too late before stopping. I turned around. Every time I took a step, rain water soaked my sneakers. Car headlights passed me. I wasn’t okay. No, I am fine. I wasn’t in pain. This much isn’t an injury. I was really fine.

this was a trauma that Jimin encountered that brought him back to his 8 year old self, the whole reason why he was being kept in the hospital by his parents for years.

yet what happened at the flower arboretum is still unknown.

so next is Namjoom, it seems like he follows the girl closely as such based on the notes,

Namjoon 13 July YEAR 22

I leaned against the window of the bus. From the library to the gas station. The familiar scenery passing by the window since I take this route everyday. Will the day come for me to leave this scenery behind? I felt that it was impossible to predict what tomorrow would bring.

In the distance in front of me, I could see a lady wearing a yellow hair tie. Her shoulders liften and dropped as though she exhaled. She also leaned against the window. It has already been a month since we studied at the library and took the same bus from the station. We hadn’t spoken a word to each other, but we look at the same scenery together, lived in the same time and sighed the same sighs. The hair tie was still in my pants’ pocket.

The lady always dropped off three stations before me. I always wondered whether she would be distributing flyers there. What kind of things does she spend her time doing, what are the things that she’s enduring? How much has she been thinking that tomorrow might not come, or that from the beginning, there was never such a thing called ‘tomorrow’? These are what I thought about.

The station that the lady would drop by was approaching. Someone pressed the stop button and other passengers got up from their seats. However, in the midst of this, the lady didn’t move. Her head was just still against the window at where she sat. Time still passed. I went to get closer to her. In that moment, I was conflicted. The bus stop came near. The lady was still as how she was in the beginning. People got off the bus. The doors closed and the bus began to take off.

It has passed 3 bus stops but I didn’t want to wake her up. As I moved to the exit of the bus, I fought with myself again. It was clear that if I got off, no one would pay attention to her. She would wake up somewhere far from her stop and that it would be much more tiring today for her because of it.

I dropped off from the bus and the scent of the gas station started to waft through the air. The bus took off and I didn’t want to look back. I left the hair tie on top of her bag. That wasn’t the start but it wasn’t the end either. From the beginning, nevertheless, there was no whatsoever reason. I just thought that nevertheless, it didn’t matter.

personally I find Namjoon’s notes the most confusing one as there is barely much relation to the storyline as such.

his character development throughout the timeline wasn't much, it wasn't deeply explained unlike the others.

moving on, based on these notes, it is true that Jungkook was hit by the car since he ended up in the hospital and assuming that he was hit on April 11, it is possible that he was hospitalized for longer periods of time.

Jungkook 16 July YEAR 22

I stood at the window and sang a bit to the song playing in my earphones. It has already been a week. Now I don’t need to see the lyrics to sing along. I took out one side of my earphones so that I could practice listening to my own voice. (someone) said that they liked it because it was beautiful but it only made me scratch my head in embarrassment. The July sunshine entered the big window. The green leaves of the trees flew and shone in the wind and everytime it fell on my face, it felt different. I closed my eyes. I sang while looking at the yellow, blue and green colours behind my eyes. Whether it was the lyrics or the sunshine, something tickled and stung my heart.

based on these research, it is typical that any car accident patient would sustain injuries depending on severity etc, but clearly Seokjin did manage to save him in a way that Jungkook doesn't die but is still alive and is hospitalized.

on 17 July, it’s like the highlight reels here.

Taehyung 17 July YEAR 22

My side hurt so bad that it felt as if it was torn. Sweat trickled down my face. The corners of the railroad tracks, the vacant lot behind the convenience store, at the upper road – she was nowhere to be seen. Though I came behind the bus stop, of course, she wouldn’t be there. The commuters who were waiting for the bus were looking at me weirdly. What could I do? We didn’t promise to meet, but it was strange. She was always making appearances from somewhere and followed me around. Even calling her annoying was useless. Yet, the places that we went together, she wasn’t there.

I stopped walking upon the front of a familiar wall. This was where we did graffiti together. This was her first drawing. On top of it, there was a large X mark over it. It was her. There was no way I saw her do it, but I knew it was her. Why? I don’t have an answer. Instead, several after-images that were scary overlapped on the wall.

She laughed at me on the day when I hit my head against the railroad tracks as I lied down. Her helping me up as I helped her run away, her angry face when I stole and ate her bread. Her solemn expression when we passed by a photo studio with a family portrait in the front window. Her gaze on the students that we passed by, even she was oblivious to it. This wall was where we sprayed together as I said this. “If you have a problem, tell me. Don’t grumble about it to yourself.” This X was drawn all over these memories. It seemed to say that it was all fake. That it was all lies. Without even realizing it, I made my hands into fists. Why? Of course, I didn’t have an answer. I walked back. I was alone again. Me, and her.

the scene of the railroad tracks etc and running away from the police would happen later on

Namjoon 20 July YEAR 22

I skimmed across the magazine advertisements and lifted my head. There were so many different faces of those who sat at the corner table the last few days across me. A thick book, large bag and a white paper cup alike but it still wasn’t her. Again, I went back to skimming the magazines. I had been looking at the same page for more than an hour. Because of the repetitive thoughts, my eyes couldn’t pick up the letters at all. I asked myself why am I sitting here. No answer came to me. Amongst those who were engrossed in something, I was lethargically looking through a magazine. I felt impatient for something to start. This isn’t how it is meant to be.

I returned the magazine and continued to walk across the bookshelves The books were in rows on bookshelves taller than I was. From the open window, a breeze blew, the smell of books wafting and the dust hovering. I thought about my high school years again. My friends and I, together, in that hideout classroom. At that time, it smelled the same. Had the ‘Current Me’ grow from the “Then Me’? I couldn’t be sure of it. Regardless, it could be that everything of me had stopped at that time since back then. I moved to the opposite bookshelf. I picked up a book I used to study back then. I had to start again. From everything I had given up, one at a time.

Namjoon’s notes were always more self reflective on himself, it wasn’t so much about how the story line went as in the universe of the HYYH.

Jungkook 26 July YEAR 22

Quietly, I plucked a flower from the hospital’s flower bed. Every time, laughter comes out from the head that was bent down. The sunshine was shining so bright that it hurts the eyes. Though I knocked the hospital ward’s door, there was no answer. I knocked again, this time, it opened a bit. Inside the ward, there was just a sheet. And, there was no one there. There was just a very quiet and dark bed. I left the hospital room. That was where I met her personally when I was bored and was pushing my wheelchair in the hallway. She appeared so suddenly that I barely had time to stop. When I left the hospital, I saw a bench. I remembered that whenever we were together, we would sit and listen to music and even draw. We even drank strawberry milk together at the rooftop. I was still holding the flower from earlier but now I had no one to give it to.

here Jungkook is trying to find the girl that he befriended in the hospital but of course to no avail, she wasn't there anymore. what happened to her remains a mystery, not sure if it is crucial or not.

Jimin’s notes follow next.

Jimin 28 July YEAR 22

Today, I am left alone in the practice room. It was past twelve and the trains would have stopped running. Actually, I was waiting for the trains to stop running. That way, I could be left completely alone in the practice room. When we practiced together, my eyes were only focused on the areas where I lacked. That’s why I was restless, I was afraid. Yet, no matter what, I wanted to do it. So I stayed by myself every night.

As my days were spent like this, interestingly, the fear in my heart disappeared. Only the truth of dancing being fun remained. For a long time, I believed that the small, weak and powerless me was real. When I danced, I ended up thinking of my weight of my body or the length of my arms, speed or strength that I could make. When I danced, I didn’t feel small or weak. My skills improved greatly as much as I have practiced. The movements that had been stuttering at first were now being connected. I have grown. Even if the growth was as a fingernail, but I was still growing. I became aware that I was in reality, a talkative person. I knew that. When I danced, I was able to speak whatever I couldn’t say or hadn’t said. When I started to dance, for the first tine, I started to like myself.

Seems like this follows in suit to the highlight reels.

Taehyung’s notes brings us back to his vandalism endeavors but now related to the girl as seen in the highlight reel.

Taehyung 11 August YEAR 22

As I turned around, I discovered some words underneath the ‘X’. It was a short sentence scratched onto the wall, saying ‘It wasn’t my fault.”. It was that kid. I didn’t see her, nor did I know her handwriting but somehow I knew. It looked her last greeting. Saying that her leaving wasn’t because of me. That the things that made her ‘fall’ was not because I was a bad person. It seemed like it was telling me not to blame myself or to be hung up on it, but instead to have courage.

When I finally got back to my senses, I was in front of my house. From the outside the door, I could hear Noona’s scream. I flung it open and entered. A familiar scene was laid out. I blocked my father. I grabbed his arm and look right at his face. Initially, he seemed to be shocked, but then he swing his fist. This is not the first time that I was knocked out. Noona’s crying became louder. My chin hurt. The smell of dusty metal came from my own mouth. Yet, I didn’t give up. I grabbed my father’s waist. He gave off an angry scream. He mercilessly hit my back and shoulders but all the more I held on to him even tighter.

It wasn’t that it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t that I wasn’t scared. But if I let go, the same daily cycle would repeat. I wanted it to be different. I wanted to change it.

No. I’m different from my father. I’m going to protect our family.

It seems that Taehyung is trying to break the cycle of his abusive father, remember how he had his outbursts in the earlier months of April and May etc. not sure if this is after Taehyung killed his father or if he didnt even kill his own father hence either the I Need U timeline or the Euphoria timeline.

on this day, Jungkook is also a crucial character.

Jungkook 11 August YEAR 22

When I looked back, the hospital is really far away. I could no longer see the bench where I had left the wildflowers, neither could I see the window through wish I watched the river with the kid. As I reflected, that kid was a space for me to breathe in this stuffy hospital life. As we set on the hospital bench in the late afternoon talking about this and that, the sun had set. I told her about playing in the hideout classroom, going on a vacation to the beach and walking all the way up till the train station. She told me about all of the corners in the hospital , which window that you can see the river from, which staircase you could use to secretly climb up to the roof. There was nothing she didn’t know about the hospital.

Her hospital room was empty. Had she been discharged, or moved to another hospital? I asked the nurses. But none of them could tell me. For some reason, a corner of my heart felt empty. I turned around and just kept walking. From a distance, I could see the school. It seemed like most of the things I talked to her about was involved the Hyungs, and almost every single story started with them. To me, when I was alone, the Hyungs became my friends and family and teachers. My story was within their stories, and I only existed inside a relationship with them.

Yet, at some point, I started to think as such. That there may be a day where they would no longer be at my side. I might go looking for them to find out they’re gone, without any reason. Or maybe something even more could happen, I didn’t know.

I thought of that night. When the huge moon rose in the sky, the world turned upside-down, the headlamps I saw from an inverted view, the shape of the car that passed by me and eventually disappeared. The sound of the engine, which was familiar to me for some reason. I didn’t want to jump into conclusions. But even so, I just kept thinking of that moment.

following these notes would mean that Seokjin was the one who did end up colliding into him but not enough to kill him, and if assuming from this loophole that Jungkook didnt die entirely, guess Seokjin decided to crash into him to give some minor injuries and not entirely enough to kill him hence altering the timeline after all.

looking at Hoseok’s S version of the notes.

Hoseok 13 August YEAR 22

Jimin and the kid was standing in the middle of the practice room. The 5-second wait after the beginning pose always seemed long. As soon as the music flowed from the speaker, the two of them started the first move. It was the choreography that I had practiced with the kid not too long ago. I sat on the floor of the room and monitored.

When I first found out that I couldn’t dance for the time being, because of my ankle, it had been really difficult. It was suffocating that I could only watch others dance. But as I helped Jimin practice and watched him grow, a realization dawned on me. The fact that I cant dance by myself wasn’t a big problem and that I could be happy by continuing with dance in other ways.

When I practice with Jimin, I didn’t let even the smallest mistake go by. Jimin sometimes subtly missed the timing or made movements that are smaller than what I expect. At those times, I stopped the music and scrutinized each move, one by one. But when I sat on the floor, as some kind o audience, and watched from here, Jimin’s dance looked different. I saw something bigger than just his small one-by-one movements. Things that I initially thought and dismissed of as mistakes when we practice together dawned on me differently. Such trivial mistakes and imperfections instead came together to give off a unique feeling. Of course, it would be different than mine, but Jimin had his own timing and own expressions. Jimin’s dance was bright and touches the heart just the way it was.

The music ended. Jimin’s dance ended as well. I saw that his face was shining with excitement and joy. The kid was standing next to him. The kid would be going overseas soon. Suddenly, we locked eyes. I gave a thumbs-up and the kid gave a big smile. It was strange. The kid didn’t look a thing like my mother. I can’t even remember my own mother’s face, so why did I think they looked similar? Suddenly, something in my heart ached. My to-be healed ankle twitched.

this relates back to the highlight reels scene, when he and Jimin practiced dancing.

15 August YEAR 22

on this day, Seokjin drives out of the intersection and is in search of the Smeraldo flowers, but as to why he needed it to give to the girl, I have no idea, right now I'm just assuming they are lovers.

looking at the Notes from Her Album,

Seokjin 15 August YEAR 22

Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flower’s existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasn’t looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isn’t officially open but he could deliver it to me. “Why do you need this flower?”

I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person.

so here, this is when Seokjin picks up the bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers and he intends to give it to the girl who could be seen from the highlight reels, and who we would see later would be in a car accident.

look at this from S version of the HYYH the Notes.

Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22

She seemed flustered when she thought she lost her diary. Her favourite movie, her favourite place to go, her favorite flowers to even her dreams appear on every future page being turned. It was something that I had done for her. The words ‘Sorry’ didn’t come out easily. The red diary laid between us at the intersection.

I wanted to give her happiness. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to be someone she would like. I thought that if I followed the words in the diary, I would be that person. But that wasn’t the case. I became more scared when I became someone else. I really don’t want to be caught (for being me). I don’t want disappointment to follow afterwards. Desperately, I turned my head away to hide myself. But just as one cannot put a full stop to a sentence without subject, the me who could not improve himself and continued to wander in the same place.

Now, I know. The me who lacks, makes mistakes and fails is all part of me afterall. No matter how cruel or how merciless things are, by being true to myself would I, only be able to move forward. I stood up from my position and she didn’t try to grab me.

I walked out to the street and removed my hat. As I run my fingers through my hair, all the time spent trying to be someone else slipped through my fingers. I lifted my head and saw my reflection in the mirror. A frail face, pale lips and thin shoulders. I looked unkempt. I laughed. The me in the mirror laughed too.

the introduction of his lover/partner is back, much like the highlight reels.

anyway, looking at the notes from Tear, on this day Seokjin seems to realize that the girl has died right in front of him.

Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22

Can anyone remember the moment they fell in love. Can anyone predict the moment this love ended. What is the reason that humans are not be able to recognize these moments. And why was I given the power to undo all these things?

The car comes to a sudden stop, headlights flashing, bouncing, falling. The one who was standing there amongst the noisy moments, defenseless, was me. I couldn’t hear anything, I couldn’t sense anything at all. Though it was summer, the breeze was cold. There was the sound of something tumbling down along the road. Also, there was a scent of a flower. It was only then did a sense of reality came back to me. The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. The lady was the only one in the middle of the road. Blood was spilling out from her head. Dark red blood was flowing onto the road. I thought then. If only I could turn back time.

this is as seen in the highlight reels in which he was supposed to give the flowers to her but when she crossed, a car hit her.

I believe that the whole HYYH timeline was initially about brotherhood, hence the whole high school context and their crap together hence all these fond memories and pairings.

anything before YEAR 22 could be treated as background information, mainly context on all the stories of the boys and to understand the nature of their pairings, be it originally from I Need U or the ones in the Wings concept photos.

but amidst everything, if you compare the notes with the webtoon, April 11 YEAR 22 is the most overlapping factor.

May 22 YEAR 22 is when Taehyung supposedly dies; or commits suicide, yet when you see in Euphoria, assuming it’s the same date, Seokjin takes over or kind of replaces him instead.

every time Seokjin’s face cracks or any part of him cracks, he goes back to April 11, assuming its April 11, as if his reality shatters. it’s almost like a sick game. this could be seen in Blood, Sweat and Tears and Wings VCR Tour.

hence maybe why in BST, his face cracks more often. yet until now I cant figure out the reason for the huge pile of clothes etc from Spring Day. but time to think about it.

but everything beyond that around June/July, HYYH timeline shifts and is more centered around the boy’s relationships with the girls.. hence highlight reels..

I honestly don’t think this whole concept mattered in the first place but it’s kinda forced in since they went through with it now lmao, as in the concept of introducing lovers inside. I think the reason why they introduced this is because of the whole idea of love yourself, before you love others, love yourself first.

but anyway, during the highlight reels period, bighit hires more writers to kinda continue the story line and so they introduced love interests ( like they had applications lmao ). Hence, this is the only reason I could think of that they are even continuing this whole timeline until now as they hired more people to do it and work on it.

Also, if you noticed in the Smeraldo: the Notes, it has BU, which i would either assume is Bangtan Universe, BTS Universe or Bighit Universe just like how there is YG Family, JYP Nation and SM Town.

now, if it is indeed BTS Universe, you could imagine that this is just a whole world of AUs, lots of parallels, much like a marvel universe. however, if this was the bighit universe, then best believe me when I say that should the boys ever go into military/enlistment or despite being exempted, want to serve, trust me that bighit would milk TXT and rope them into this universe.

it is possible considering how they kinda planned the whole debut date, 2013 and 2019 having the exact same year literally, just the change in the last number of the 4 digits. i wouldn’t be surprised. think of TXT as a possible AU should this happen, not that I am trying to compare them, I believe they have their own colour, but I wouldn't be surprised if they get roped in to be part of this complex story line.

i still kinda believe that HYYH should have ended by maybe around Wings, others thought that it should have ended in their repackage album of Young Forever, but i guess to one’s own perception.

i just kinda want to see how this would end, especially since they are releasing the HYYH: the Notes Book. and the whole webtoon would end just in time for their first ever comeback April 12, one day after the webtoon ends on April 11.

i want to see if i would even have my answers after all. especially now with their upcoming comeback called Map of the Soul: Persona, best believe a new theory would be out soon.

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