#I’ve never used bully sticks before and let him have 3/4 of one before my betrothed told me dogs need to work up

[foldingfittedsheets]

Wyvern the pup woke us up last night around midnight by barking. I woke up scared and disoriented, worrying the cats were by him or something was wrong.

Since I’d had him all day my betrothed took him outside where he furiously peed. They settled him back in his crate, got back into bed, and he barked again. They took him out again, and he pooped.

It was a potty milestone that he’d chosen to communicate distress about going potty rather than making a mess in his crate but I could’ve done without the midnight disruption.

#ramblies #wyvern the pup #his poop was not good and I imagine the diarrhea was my fault #I’ve never used bully sticks before and let him have 3/4 of one before my betrothed told me dogs need to work up #cause they’re so high protein #whoops

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files Collector’s Edition: Curated Dreaming of Scully

One of my early X-Files fan fic ventures brought me to Dreaming of Scully’s blog, where her rewatch thoughts helped to form and clarify my own understanding of the series in positive and impactful ways. And while I could talk for days about her analyses, it’s her writings that I am here to recommend.

Her works were part of the reason I continued reading fics, finding more authors that struck similar chords in her own intriguing style: a sinking, resonate quality that translates mood and atmosphere so well. Anyways--!  

Loose chronological order below~

@dreamingofscully’s (Ao3, WBM)

Main Timeline

Prompts & Drabbles - Chapter 3

““Cheating just this once can’t be all bad,” he’d told her. “Endorphins are good for you, Scully. I’ve read the studies.”

Of course he has.””

Cancer Arc: Mulder gets Scully free banana cream pie by pretending they’re dating. She knows, deep down, he’d marry her in a heartbeat if she let him.

Intrusion (Ao3)

““When they get to their car in the parking garage, both she and Scully reach the passenger side door at the same time. She looks at the smaller woman once more, confident in her ability to bully her out of the way, especially when it comes to Mulder.

Her eyes widen and she takes an involuntary step back at Scully’s expression. One of her delicate auburn eyebrows is raised in disdain. No longer the slip of a woman she underestimated back in the conference room, Diana sees the real Scully for the first time. Her back is ramrod straight, and her icy-blue eyes seem to pierce straight into her. Diana feels naked, like all of her secrets are on display.””

The End: Mulder, Scully, and Diana’s thoughts are whirling as they reflect and plan their next steps in the car ride.

xvii. the star (Ao3)

““And for her part, she didn’t press. Just let out a sigh and continued to stare out the window. If she’d ordered him to tell her or to turn the car around, he’d do it. But she never did. Only peppering questions, the tilt of her mouth telling him she enjoyed the process just as much as him. Something had changed, though, and he wasn’t sure of the last time he’d seen her look at him with more than frustration and anger, simmering underneath her silent visage.””

Post Arcadia: Mulder takes Scully to Sea World to celebrate her birthday after their undercover case, hoping she will relax and thaw. She does, touched.

Prompts & Drabbles - Chapter 4

““All she knew was the dream, warm sunlight and forest canopy. Her and Mulder, Mulder and herself, blurred together. Thoughts beautifully entwined, gasping for breath without the other near.””

Post Field Trip: Scully wakes in Mulder’s arms... and face to face with Maggie. Both women are more understanding than standoffish.

Dolor (Ao3)

““The noises outside faded into the distance, flashes and thunder rumbling away ominously. They would come back, they always did. What was worse, experiencing it in the moment or knowing that they'd be back soon and being helpless to do anything?

"Tell me a story."

His breath hitched.””

Dating: Mulder comforts a dying Scully with a story about Samantha. Thankfully, death doesn’t stick (spoiler: it’s all a dream.)

Light in the Dark

““She fell asleep about thirty minutes ago and he doesn’t have the heart to wake her. Not yet. She’d been sitting on his couch sideways, feet propped up, knees bent with a folder on her lap. Her glasses were still on, but he removed those, placed them carefully on his coffee table before covering her with his Aztec blanket....

Then, blackness. The power.

Mulder waits a few minutes, hoping that it’s only a momentary interruption.””

Dating: The power goes out, and Mulder comedically gets hit shins struggling with incognito furniture and dying penlights. He and Scully decide a better use of their time is to swap stories in the dark.

Prompts & Drabbles - Chapter 2 (Ao3)  

““He’s lost, and she needs to hold onto the thread that connects them. Imagining that she could take away his grief through osmosis, she grasps him even tighter.””

Sein und Zeit: Scully’s knees ache while clutching Mulder, his anchor amidst the overwhelming pain. She assures him he can grieve; and that he’s not alone.  

AUs

Stolen Time - Chapter 1

““The inky sky blooms with stars. Four of them break free from the twinkling curtain above and move towards the peak of Skyland Mountain.

Mulder clutches Scully’s necklace, his talisman, and runs faster.””

Duane Barry: Mulder catches up just in time to shoot Duane and save Scully. The two clutch each other for dear life on the mountain until they’re found.

Prompts & Drabbles - Chapter 5 (Ao3)

““She knew he was right, it was impossible with work and Wim. But how could she let him go alone? As a compromise, he promised to call every evening, to let her know he needed her if it became too much. He left that very night, caressing their son’s head and pulling Scully into a tight embrace before disappearing through the door.

For about a week their plan worked, although she could sense his suffering over the phone, hundreds of miles away. He insisted he was fine, but she should have known better.””

S9: Scully’s wrath at Skinner remains after he ropes Mulder into a profiling job behind his family’s back, almost to the destruction of his former agent’s sanity. She has to carefully pull Mulder back from a very dark, very frozen place; and is mildly heartened when he immediately asks about Will once cognizant again.

This is my favorite of all of her pieces. It captured my heart instantly-- 100% how Mulder and Scully would have acted if they still had William: the push-and-pull between helping others and keeping their family unit safe.

Surely, to the sea (Ao3)

““Scully was staring at the flame flickering inside the gas lamp, trying to think of something that could fit the symptoms, when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head.

Boyle leaned forward, fully visible in the light of the lamp. Wet eyes with dilated pupils that consumed his irises. Yellow sclera. He’d evaded her gaze the whole interview but now he stared directly at her. She swallowed and met his gaze. Gone was the feeble, old man who drowned in his flannel shirt. Something surged inside of her, a feeling that she shouldn’t back down. How long they opposed each other, she couldn’t say.

“Scully?” Mulder was tapping her leg.

“What is it you’re afraid of, Boyle?” she asked, her voice low and hoarse.””

Married paranormal detectives Mulder and Scully are back, on the first case after a recent “incident” that caused Scully’s health to crash and her sensitivity to the 6th sense to be blown wide open. While staying at this eerie house, her ESP is constantly bombarded with more and more sinister premonitions: something very powerful and very old is slowly chewing away at everyone’s sanity.

Enjoy!

#txf #x-files #xf fanfic #fic #Collector's Edition #Curated #Dreaming of Scully #Short Entries #mine #dreamingofscully

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

#i wanted to put this in the pro snape tag #but i will be slandered so much if i do #hate on me if you want i dont care #harry potter #the marauders #james potter #pro james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #anti severus snape #long rant #lily evans #jily #flowerpott #anti snily #wolfstar

[rose2jam]

Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult, an essay by Rose Jam

So, let’s talk about Cults. Disclaimer: This is just information I’ve gathered over the years from my personal fascination with religious cults.  I’m in no way an expert or a psychologist or whatever.  This is just my personal understanding from the research I’ve done.

A cult is started when a wildly charismatic Leader feels like they have a purpose, a higher calling, or a mission to be fulfilled (or they could also just be an egomaniac). Maybe they really do feel like what makes them special comes directly from a higher power, be that God, or the Heir of Slytherin, but either way, this person has a pathological need to be worshiped, and they need followers in order to do that.  

So, how does one obtain Followers easily? By finding the misunderstood misfits of society, and promising them something.  The people who feel like no one else understands them, or their ideologies.  But this Leader?  This Leader GETS IT, MAN! The Leader understands them perfectly, vindicates them, and makes them promises along the way.  Like, if they stick with the Leader, then not only will they finally be understood, but they themselves will also be revered.  That they will rise above all of the others who have put them down for so long, and will come out on top as a superior being.  

Any of this sounding familiar?

Charles Manson preyed on young people in the middle of the hippie movement, mostly women, who were feeling lost, lonely, and in need of guidance, or in terms of the men he recruited, seeking power over others.  Not all of these people were poor or helpless; some of them came from middle class, or even rich homes and families.  Yes, some of them came from broken homes, but all of them felt “broken” themselves, in some way. So Manson used their desires to have a family to draw them in.  He then used LSD and other drugs to keep them under his control, and he created a manipulative environment where the members of his “family” felt they could never leave him, and if they didn’t follow his commands, something horrible would happen to them.  I’m not going to go into full detail on the Manson Family Murders, but if you’re personally interested, check out the Podcast “Cults” on Spotify.

So back to basics, this Leader draws in Followers with flowery promises of community, power, family, or whatever.  But once the Leader has that following, the terror will begin.  Cult Leaders are usually master manipulators, and have completely brainwashed their followers into believing the “us vs them” mentality, that the outside world is evil, that the outside world will only harm them, that the outside world would never understand what they’re doing on the inside.  And that the Leader is the only one who knows the truth, so they better stick with him.  Or maybe the Leader has gaslit his followers so completely, that they become dependent on him for everything, to the point where they don’t know how they would possibly function without the Leader.  Or, the Leader has created an environment that’s so hostile, that Followers are too afraid of what might happen to them if they tried to leave, or didn’t do what the Leader commanded.  Typically, it’s a combination of all of the above.  Destructive cults will either hurt others outside of their circle (The Manson Family, Sect of Nacozari), harm themselves (Heaven’s Gate, The Ant Hill Kids), or both (The People’s Temple, Aum Sinrikyo).  

Now that I’ve laid this foundation, I’m going to tell you why it was practically inevitable that Severus Snape would join a cult.

Snape’s childhood ultimately laid the foundation for the mental state he would be in when he decided to join the Death Eaters.  He grew up in an abusive household, where his father, the muggle, had his magical wife so thoroughly whipped, that she couldn’t (or chose not to) use magic to defend herself, or her son (1).  Eileen had obviously told Severus about magic, about Hogwarts, about what a wonderful place it was, and what a wonderful gift magic could be.  Severus also watched as Tobias beat the magic out of her.  (I know it’s debated whether Tobias actually physically abused his family, but he certainly verbally/mentally/emotionally abused them, so the term “beat” could be used figuratively as well).  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that Severus developed an extreme hatred of muggles with “burn the witch” mentalities from a very young age because of this.

Enter Lily, perhaps the only other magical person in his life besides his mother up to this point. He sees her using magic out in the open, perhaps recklessly, for fun, and he sees an opportunity to make a friend (and, admittedly, to be smarter than someone about something for a while). He was so eager to tell her all about magic, because getting to learn magic, and go to Hogwarts, has possibly been the only thing keeping him going in his young life.  And now he’s made a friend, a real friend who doesn’t think he’s weird because he’s magical.  Unlike Petunia, yet another muggle who makes fun of him for being weird (2). And Lily actually seems to like him back.  For a kid who probably hasn’t received a lot of affection in his life, this is monumental.  This friendship is everything.  Why wouldn’t he love her?

So the time finally comes to go to Hogwarts.  Severus gets to escape his abusive household, and finally has an opportunity to embrace magic for the first time in his life.  But almost immediately, he’s met with a hic-up.  Specifically, James Potter and Sirius Black.  So Severus is no longer facing abuse exclusively from muggles who think he’s weird, but now he’s also getting it from other magical people who think he’s weird (3).  And this started on the fucking TRAIN before he even GOT to Hogwarts. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t sour a kids dream right off the fucking bat.  And then, when he finally gets there, he’s separated from his only friend, by being sorted into different houses (4).  What a way for a life-long dream to be thoroughly dashed in less than 24 hours.

Let’s look at Snape’s Hogwarts experience.  He’s a good student, and he pours himself into learning as much magic as possible, and at being the best he can possibly be, probably motivated by a desire to be better than what his Father thinks possible.  During this time, he is regularly bullied and abused by the Marauders. Sometime before his 5th year, the Incident at the Shrieking Shack took place.  It definitely sucks to have been so thoroughly fucking duped, and put into a life-threatening situation involving a goddamn werewolf (5).  But perhaps even worse than that, the salt in the wound, was that no one fucking did anything about it (6).  He saw Sirius and James and Remus get out of that situation without facing any sort of proper punishment (as in, they all still stayed at the school as opposed to being expelled like they DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (At least Sirius should have been)). Dumbledore was looking out for the Marauders, but no one was looking out for Severus.  On top of that, Severus isn’t allowed to TELL anyone about it, not even Lily.  So, he goes through what was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, and he can’t even tell anyone that it happened.

So, what sort of support system does Severus have during all this?  He has Lily, sure (who literally told him he should be GRATEFUL to James, one of his abusers).  But, what he really has, is Slytherin House (7). I’ll say it plainly: Severus was sorted into a house that was already full of existing cult members.  McGonagall says in Sorcerer’s Stone that “Your house will be like your family” (she at least says it in the movies, I’m too lazy to get up and reference my books rn lol).  So, Severus’ family, his support system, for 10 months out of every year, is a house that is already full to the brim with pureblood elitists with prejudiced ideals, who would absolutely vindicate Severus in his dislike for muggles.  As a kid first getting sorted into the house, it’s obviously not unreasonable to become friends with the people you’re literally living with.  His dorm mates became his family.  So, when his dorm mates started to become Death Eaters… This is headcanon, I fully admit, but like, fuck, Severus didn’t have a lot of friends, and was probably already drifting apart from Lily.  Do you really think he was going to tell the people he had to live with every single day, not to mention the only people that had been supporting him for years, to go fuck themselves for using Dark Magic?  Especially when he was probably feeling like he was on the verge of thinking that their rhetoric made some sense?

On to Snape’s Worst Memory (8).  At this point, he’s spent 5 years in Slytherin House, with fellow students who casually throw around the M word.  He gets attacked by James and Sirius, he’s practically defenseless, and then the girl who he’d considered his closest friend for so long… has to force herself not to smile when he’s thrown upside down and exposed to everyone on the grounds.  Sure, she was trying to defend him at first, but she also fucking nearly smiled at his humiliation, his pain, his abuse.  So he hurls the one word that he knows is going to cut the deepest, that will hopefully hurt her as badly as she has hurt him. And it works.

Severus had been beaten down his entire life.  By Muggles and Magic Folk alike.  And finally, he’s betrayed by Lily, his last lifeline to the light.  He betrayed her as well, of course.  But he did try to show remorse.  And she doesn’t forgive him (9), which was her prerogative, of course.  

So.  Who does he have left?

I’ve placed little (numbers) throughout my writing here.  Each of those numbers denote the specific events that led Severus to becoming an angry young man, who hates muggles, hates (some) magic folk, and resulted in him feeling weak, helpless, and desperate.  For what?  For power, for a family, for a community.  For a world where he is no longer the weird one.  For a world where he’s respected, strong.  For the world he thought he was going to be a part of, when he arrived at Hogwarts in his first year.

And it just so happens that this is the exact world that Voldemort is (allegedly) trying to create.

Severus Snape was angry, and vulnerable, and as such, he was practically the poster child for the type of person who would be susceptible to falling for a cult.  Maybe he was recruited by his friends in Slytherin House.  Maybe he was recruited directly.  Either way, charismatic Tom Riddle came along, understood how he felt, where he was coming from, told him he deserved better, and offered him all of the things he never had in his life.  And being at rock bottom, being the lowest of the low, to Severus it must have seemed like a miracle of an opportunity, or perhaps, like the only chance he had left.

Now, let me be extremely clear; everything I’ve written is not trying to EXCUSE Severus Snape for his actions.  There is always a point where personal responsibility must come into play.  Except for children born into cults or victims of kidnapping, nearly every person who has ever joined a cult has made the personal decision to join it. I’m just trying to express how unbelievably easy it is, for a Cult Leader to find people with damaged lives and low self-worth, to suck them in with promises of a fulfilling life and grandeur, and for those people to be easily swept up and brainwashed into believing that what they are doing is right.  (Or that what they are doing is required, because the alternative is more horrifying.)  

The type of people who joined the Death Eaters are the same type of people who joined Heaven’s Gate, or The People’s Temple, or yes, The Manson Family.  Now, I’m just going to say, from my own personal point of view, I do not vilify anyone who’s ever joined a destructive cult.  On the contrary, I feel sorry for them.  Because most people who join a cult, don’t necessarily do it signing up for the… end result of what happened to them.  Some of them totally do, like Heaven’s Gate. Most of them knew that the end result was going to be the “evacuation of their earthly vessel”.  But the people who joined the Manson Family, for instance, did not initially join it KNOWING how it was going to end.  They were part of the family long before Manson even came up with Helter Skelter, and by the time the Tate-LaBianca Murders took place, they were already too far gone to go against it.

I highly recommend anyone who’s interested in a humanizing view of former cult members, to read the essay “Leslie Van Houten: A Friendship” by John Waters. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/leslie-van-houten-a-frien_b_246953

Or, at the very least, listen to this 7 minute NPR interview with John Waters about the essay https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111585116

It’s the story of how notorious film maker John Waters, became friends with former Manson Girl, Leslie Van Houten, and about how she broke away from the cult after her conviction, how she’s spent the last 51 years of her life recovering from the psychotic influence of a maniac who’d promised her the world, and how even though she was convicted to life WITH a possibility of parole, it’s never been granted to her, despite the fact that she has done literally everything possible to try and atone for her crimes.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart.  I’m pretty much the only person I know who feels sorry for Leslie Van Houten and other cult members who were brainwashed, abused, and manipulated into doing a lot of the horrible things they’ve done.  But there are people in the world, who have committed FAR more heinous crimes than the Manson Family murders, and who are far less repentant than Leslie, but because those crimes weren’t as notorious, they get to walk free.

Addendum: When I first posted this, I had a few people point out to me that they had always associated Voldemort and the Death Eaters with Hitler and Nazi Germany.  This is a perfectly fair point, but one that I personally don’t jive with, and the reason is simply the numbers.   There were literally millions of people in the Nazi party during WW2.   Death Eaters don’t even reach triple digits, as far as I’m aware.  As I hinted at in this essay, I consider Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be MUCH closer to Charles Manson and the Manson Family.  The Manson Family 100% had Nazi ideology, of course. "Helter Skelter” was Charles Manson’s prediction that there was going to be a massive race war; one that the Whites were going to lose, and that he and his Pure White family would emerge from it in order to rule over the remaining Blacks.  Kinda... sounds like a Death Eater thing, huh?

Sorry.  Back to Snape.  There is a lot we don’t know about Severus’ actual time as a Death Eater. I think it can be reasonably assumed he’s never actually killed anyone before Dumbledore (In Prince’s Tale, Severus questions if his soul would be safe from killing Dumbledore, and Dumbledore implies that his soul would not be damaged by helping an old man avoid pain and humiliation.  This leads me to believe that Severus never committed any soul-damaging murders before this).  Beyond being a sneaky spy and delivering the prophecy to Voldemort, his time as a Death Eater is all up for conjecture.  

Severus does make one important deviation from the typical cult member mold, however.  In the end, he manages to break away from the cult.  The scales fall from his eyes.  In a figurative sense, the LSD has worn off.  What made him sober up, was the threat to his last lifeline to the light. The one good fucking thing he’d ever had in his miserable life.  He was brought back by genuine love.  Ya know, the ENTIRE MESSAGE OF THE HP SERIES. And not only did he leave the cult, but he then spent the rest of his life actively attempting to destroy it, and atone for the mistakes he’s made, in an effort to bring back the world he’d been excited for, as an 11-year-old kid, so full of hope.

#Snape Meta #Severus Snape #Pro Snape #Snapedom #Snape Community #This will be the TRUE test of the tags #Essay Jam #Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult

[lovelyjasmari]

Twisted Wonderland Reaction Part 6 ~ Yelling at the Tweels Edition

Finally! We are finally done with chapter 3 in EN! Hoping we get the beginnings of chapter 4 soon! ✨

Before we dive back under the sea, I’ll be posting the first part of my SECOND Danica vignette story this coming Friday. I honestly didn’t think I’d write a second one so soon after finishing the first but I had so much fun writing it. TWIST has taken over my life and has given me brain worms. So here we are. 😭

Now onto the fish mafia! Warning: pic heavy with a lotta swearing, shitposting, yelling at the tweels and one or two NSFW jokes. 🤐

When Trein’s cat catches you nodding off in class... 

Yuulan, sweetie, I’m think you’re becoming a tad too self-aware for your own good...

Ahh, don’t be like that, Mr. Grumpy-Puss! You know you’ll miss us when we’re gone! 

Damn right, Jack! LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!! 

F 

Okay...so...this implies that The Little Mermaid exists in this world as a movie WHILE KING TRITON STILL EXISTS AS A REAL HISTORICAL FIGURE. And considering the implications with what happens later in the mirror...ahhh...my head hurts...

Also, I could literally hear the moans from the Disney execs collective circle jerk as they added this line. They aren’t wrong though, that last “I love you, Daddy” from Ariel never fails to pull at my heartstrings. 😭💕

BUT WHY DOESN’T THE MERMAN HAVE EYES?!

Aaaand, with the return of eel-Jade, comes the departure of God from the chat. I swear to God I’m not normally a fish fucker, idk what is going on! 😳😳😳

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I CANT EVEN ANYMORE! 💀

Well ain’t that rich! Coming from the man telling us to steal a photo from a museum. It’s probably a very cute photo too! 😤

And I have Tsunotaro to thank for it! 😁

Why does this sound like something I would have said like 15 years ago? 

Shut up, Grim! He’s trying to enslave half the school and repossess our house! A little bullying is perfectly appropriate! 

NO SHIT SHERLOCK

Oh wow, oh wow! Again, I know this is supposed to be horrific, but I LOVE THIS DESIGN! It’s so pretty! This is probably the most gorgeous overblot design so far. At least until I see Vil’s overblot. 

And what the hell were you talking about before, Azul? You look stunning as an octopus! SHUSH! 😍😍😤

SHUT UP! You aren’t one to talk when did the exact same thing in the last chapter!

SEE?! He agrees with me!

Floyd, sweetheart, my sweet feral child, please be stop talking before I beat you with a stick (affectionate). 

At least these two have the right idea, such good boys. ❤

Yuulan: It may be a raggedy ass shack, but it’s MY raggedy ass shack! 

Damn, sweetie, don’t look so thrilled to to see me. Especially when I brought you Dairy Queen. 😭

Ummm...thank you?

You’re gonna stop teasing me with those fangs, or no Dairy Queen for you! 

Nope. ya’ll just missed him. He’s probably fed up with you two squabbling over him all the time. 

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! Like I KNOW what it is, but WHY?! WHY?! WHY IS THE RAT HERE?! WHYYYYYYY?

When I showed this to my brother, he made an Unreality joke and said perhaps Mickey found Twisted Wonderland while trying to find Quadranum. I screamed into my pillow for a good 5 minutes. 

Yuulan: GET OUT OF MY...oh? Museum trip! Hell yeah I’m down for that! 

Jack simping for King Triton...😂

Ah shit, here we go again...

Welp, that’s all of chapter 3! Now let’s look at of Jade’s dorm uniform story!

I have never wanted so to be a shoe so badly, hell I’ve never wanted to be a FOOT so badly! Ughhhhh. 😭😭😭

Sometimes, these jokes write themselves. 🤐

LIKE HOW HE WORMED HIS WAY INTO MINE?! 👀

#twisted wonderland #jas reads twst #shitpost

[quissum-ego]

A Look At Whip It (2009) Through A Trans Lens

** A preliminary note: throughout this post, I will be referring to Bliss with he/they pronouns, both out of respect for Elliot Page, as well as the fact that it feels right for the character. You’ll see why. Thank you for understanding! (:

I rarely make my own posts on Tumblr, but this feels important enough  to deviate from that streak a little bit, since I think this is something more people should be talking about. Now, as some of you may know, Whip It is a 2009 comedy-drama film directed by Drew Barrymore. The film is an adaptation of the 2007 novel Derby Girl (a.k.a Whip It) by Shauna Cross. Both the film and the novel follow the life of Bliss Cavendar, a Texas teen pursuing their newfound roller derby dream behind the backs of their parents. While I am by no means saying the novel or the film intended for Bliss to be trans, as a trans masc person myself, I cannot help but pick up on the similarities. Let’s dive right in with some quotes from Cross’ novel.

There are a couple instances throughout the text where Bliss expresses a dislike for his given name. 

“ [ ... ] Bliss is not gonna cut it (I’ve been telling Brooke that for years.)”

Bliss’ struggle with his mother-given name and his complete awe at the fact that people (specifically the roller derby girls) so freely adapt an alternative name really hit home with me, personally. His feelings towards his birth name mirror the way myself and many of my trans friends feel, and these feelings were especially strong for me when I was around Bliss’ age. It is apparent that he has wanted a different name to better express himself for years, something that his mother looks down upon. 

On a similar note, there are multiple instances where Bliss wonders who he really is, and how he can find and reclaim his own sense of self. 

1. “I suddenly wonder what else I have in me that’s been stunted by too many years of pageant participation.” 

Bliss would have little-to-no chance to explore how he wants to present himself when around his mother, but the world of roller derby slowly begins to open that door. Leading a double life that his parents don’t know about becomes his ticket to exploring aspects of himself that otherwise might have been pushed down.

2. “In an effort to shake off the pink-suit residue and reclaim my personal identity [...]”

Bliss resorts back to what he feels most comfortable in (graphic t-shirts) in an effort to “reclaim [his] personal identity”. Instead of the traditionally feminine ways that his mother has come to expect of him, Bliss finds comfort in his personal identity that is the exact opposite. 

3. “Who are you [...]” “[...] I’ve been wondering that my entire life.” 

Bliss struggles with his identity, and obviously has for as long as he can remember. 

4. “You don’t even know me!”

“Bliss, you’re only sixteen. You don’t even know who you are.”

“I know I’m not Miss Bluebonnet [...] I know that much.” 

Bliss emotionally retorts to the fact that he may not know who he is with the fact that he knows he is not a pageant girl. The identity he has found through roller derby triumphs over the Miss America cage Brooke has tried so hard to secure. He knows who he is, and she can no longer dictate that for him. 

In the final two passages, Bliss’ parents begin to come around to the idea of him playing roller derby (an identity of his that feels like an ongoing metaphor for being LGBT). 

“But you - you’re Babe Ruthless.” 

“[...] she’s not only giving me my skates, but my freedom.” 

In the end, Bliss’ mother accepts that he has come to be “Babe Ruthless”, and in giving him his skates to compete, she is giving him freedom. Brooke has finally accepted that Bliss may not be the person she believed him to be, but she wants him to be happy regardless. 

“Not that Earl would ever say it, but I’ve always had a feeling he would have loved to have had a football-playing son. I think me playing Roller Derby might be the next best thing.” 

Earl would have loved to have a sports-loving son, and Bliss sees his love for roller derby as the next best thing. He is, in his own way, the son Earl never knew he had. 

The film adaptation of Whip It offers many great moments that carry this theme of roller derby being used as a metaphor for Bliss being trans. 

After dying his hair blue before an important pageant in what feels like an act of defiance against his mother, Bliss is saddened to return home from the hair salon with it all washed out. When Earl notices the family coming home, he exclaims, “Dang it, girl, what has gotten into you?” to which Bliss replies with, “Just defective, I guess.” 

Bliss feels defective in the world of beauty pageants because it is so opposing to who he is, and the life he wants to live. All he’s known thus far has been a complete 180 from himself, rendering him to feel out of place. 

When Bliss first sees the derby league out in Austin, he is instantly enamored. His wish to live as freely as they do and express himself away from his mother is what drives him towards wanting to join the league. 

After the game, Bliss expresses that the league are his new heroes. Maggie encourages him to be his own hero, to go out and live freely. 

The film evolves into Bliss leading a double life. His parents believe he is studying with an SAT prep group, while in reality, he is training and playing with the roller derby league. One life where Bliss has to practice for pageants, study, and be who his mother wants him to be, and a second life where “Babe Ruthless” can follow his heart and be himself. The more Bliss embraces his inner Babe Ruthless, the more confident he becomes, both on the track as well as in school, as he finally begins standing up to bullies. 

A key moment in the film comes when Bliss’ parents discover his roller derby promotional poster, and his secret double life becomes a lot less secret. The dialogue throughout the scene feels heavily trans-coded, particularly as Bliss cries out for his mother to “[...] stop shoving [her] psychotic idea of 50′s womanhood down [Bliss’] throat”. Bliss explains how he knows his parents wouldn’t have accepted the life where he feels he is truly himself, and the confrontation ends with them parting ways, and Bliss temporarily running away. 

After reconciling with his parents and agreeing to participate in the pageant, Bliss initially believes his roller derby dreams to be a thing of the past. On the night of the pageant, however, Bliss’ father warms up to the idea, and seeks out Bliss’ teammates. They all arrive at the venue of the pageant to surprise Bliss. 

When Brooke (naturally) disagrees with Earl’s change of heart, he expresses that he “[...] can not taking losing the chance for (our) kid to be happy.” 

His parents make it to the game, and end up coming around to the fact that this is who Bliss is, and perhaps who he has always been. After the match, Bliss meets up with his mother to talk with her. 

She comes to terms with the fact that she can’t change what Bliss is going to do in life, and he expresses that he needs to know she can accept him. She admits that it will be hard, but ultimately she will try, which is all that Bliss truly hoped for. 

The film closes with Bliss’ mother reading his pageant speech and putting away the custom gown (perhaps accepting that this chapter of their lives has closed), Earl putting up a Babe Ruthless sign on the Cavendar’s front lawn in support of their kid, and Bliss sitting atop the Oink Joint, seemingly at peace with this newfound joy in his life. He has found himself, and found what he truly loves doing, and he now knows that he has people in his life who support him through and through. 

All in all, while I am aware this is just one way to interpret the film, I wanted to share my thoughts because this has made his film truly special to me. If you haven’t already, give the film a watch. It is more than worth your time. I’d love to hear your thoughts, if you picked up on any of the same themes as me, or what you thought if this post ended up encouraging you to watch the film.

Thanks for sticking around and reading to the end. You’re the coolest. (~:  

#Whip It #Elliot Page #Drew Barrymore #Bliss Cavendar #filmedit #lgbt #trans #transgender #film analysis

[polar534]

Jersey Stealing Pt.2

Well. You all need to stop liking my stuff. It only encourages me. Anyways, Jersey Stealing is now at a 4 parter so I lied before apparently. I just got done writing part 3 so I’ll post the second part here now! Honestly it’s the most boring of the 4... so... apologies. I’ve said too many numbers now.

Also eventually I’ll learn how tumblr works and actually just... make a master post... or like link back to previous parts. Ah... dreams. Anyways, we meet a new character today. Apologies in advance, this do be the boring part out of the bunch.

***

“Ms. Noceda?”

“Can you tell me about Luz’s classmates?”

The dish dropped from the woman's hands. The sound of it clattering back into the sink echoed throughout the quiet house.

“I’m sorry!” Amity yelped as the sharp sound caused her to wince.

Camilla turned around quickly, holding up her hands with a smile on her face.

“No, no. It’s fine.” Camilla reassured her gently. “The last time I was asked that, it wasn't a pleasant talk.”

“So, it’s not good then.” Amity sank deeper into her seat at the kitchen table.

In all honesty, there was a part of her that already knew that the truth wasn't pretty. It was the same part that caused a painful twist of her heart whenever her girlfriend 'shut down'.

Camilla sighed. She reached over to the counter and grabbed a towel, drying her hands as she sat down on the opposite end of the small table.

"Well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you this but Luz has always been..."

"Odd." Amity finished for her.

The older lady nodded and suddenly the bags under her eyes seemed to darken. Camilla Noceda looked tired.

"At first, it wasn't such a big deal. Every little child starts off 'odd'." Camilla chuckled. "But eventually all the other kids grew up, while Luz's imagination grew wild."

Amity clenched her fists. She knew where this story was going. Knew how easy of a target a girl like Luz was. After all, it wasn't too long ago that she would jump on the 'odd' ones at school.

"She began to make her classmates feel... uncomfortable. Those who didn't go out of their way to avoid her, lashed out, especially because my daughter doesn't exactly know how to take no for an answer."

"That's an understatement." Amity laughed softly as Camilla cracked a small smile.

"Every school we tried her in had it's own problems. Eventually I think Luz finally understood how the other kids felt about her. That was about when we found a school that seemed to work... but of course there were still problems. And there was also Bryce."

Amity's ears twitched. Bryce? Camilla must've noticed her confusion as the older lady lifted her glasses and rubbed her nose tiredly.

"Bryce was, or rather is, a mean kid who thinks he deserves the world. And because he is the 'star athlete' of the school and is well liked by all the teachers... he usually gets it."

Guilt began to twist in Amity's heart. This sounded all too familiar.

"Him and Luz always got into it. He was the only person who ever managed to bother her. Everyone else she simply... ignored."

Camilla sighed heavily and looked at the table. Amity could tell it bothered her, the way Luz was treated. The witch wondered if Camilla was happier now that Luz had found so many friends in another world.

Or if maybe she was still just stuck in the past.

Amity pushed aside her feelings and Camilla's both as she tried to puzzle together what might have happened the other night. If it was just another spat with Bryce, well, Amity saw how Luz used to handle Boscha. That kinda fighting didn't get to her like this...

Even now, 2 days later, it was obvious something was still bothering Luz.

As Amity sat there, sinking further and further into her chair, another question entered her mind. One that she just had to know... even if it was painful.

"Was there anyone?" The witch blurted out after a short pause.

Camilla looked up at her quizzically.

"Anyone who was... nice to Luz? Or at least gave her a chance."

Amity's heart sank as Camilla shook her head sadly.

"I wouldn’t call the girl nice, but Luz always came home gushing about a Sasha. She was a fine enough girl, never joined the other kids in bullying Luz. I think that’s why Luz held on to the hope that one day they could be friends."

***

“Alright. What’s up with Luz?”

Amity turned as the team captain of the Otter’s skated up to her. The witch immediately turned her head back to look at her girlfriend, sitting quietly in the players box, scribbling something in her notebook.

Luz hadn’t moved all practice.

“Yeah, we noticed all right.” Lokte acknowledged Amity’s unspoken question as she turned back to them with a heavy sigh,

“I don’t know.” Amity answered sullenly.

The witch had nothing. Even the answers Camilla gave her this morning didn’t seem to help. Her shoulders slumped as Lokte lined up for their next shot.  

A loud crack echoed around the rink as the puck sailed straight into the goal. Amity’s eyes flicked up once again to Luz. Normally a shot like that would have her out of her seat and cheering.

Instead, the rink remained quiet.

Lokte kicked up some ice as they skidded back around to rest near Amity again. Leaning against their stick, they raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t know?"

"No." Amity growled, digging at the ice with her skates. "And it's getting worse..."

Lokte shifted, tossing their stick in the air flippantly. Amity could tell Luz's behavior was worrying them too. They were anxious to do something.

"All I know is that something happened at our game the other night. Luz ran into her old classmates."

Her captain growled, and Amity knew why. When the team first started to bond with both her and Luz, they wanted to know why they weren't enrolled in any local school. It was a fair question and Luz told them that they were too cool for school. Amity only told the truth to some of her teammates later. About how poorly Luz was treated and how she had decided to be homeschooled when she came back from 'camp'.

Lokte was one of the more vocally upset ones, having been treated similarly themselves for being who they were. Amity watched as their face changed into a slightly more hopeful expression.

"Wait, you said this happened the other night? My brother goes to Luz's old school, he went to the game with a couple of his friends. I'll bother him about it when I get home. See if the little weasel heard anything." Lokte grinned.

Amity could only stare at them, she glanced back up to Luz as her fingers curled tighter around her stick.

"Try to get names for me. I understand if Luz doesn't want to talk, but I'm looking forward to having a... conversation... with whoever is responsible for this."

Amity felt a gloved hand on her shoulder. Turning around she saw was met with the supportive eyes of her team captain.

"I'll let you know as soon as I know." They nodded.

***

- Is Luz home?

- Yeah she's asleep. Why?

- I'm coming over.

Amity stared at her phone. The short conversation with Lokte happened only a few minutes earlier. She didn't know where they lived, or how they knew where she lived. The witch could only guess it had to do with her girlfriend who was currently passed out, snoring, on her lap. Amity dropped the phone to her side and let her face sink into Luz's hair. In the background she could hear the movie that they had put on earlier, but she couldn't care less about it at the moment.

Amity loved the end of every night, when she was finally able to have Luz all to herself. Squeezing the human ever tighter, Luz sleepily snuggled further into her girlfriend’s arms with a large smile on her face.

The witch sighed as she heard a buzzing come from nearby. It was her phone. She felt a sharp flicker of annoyance, before gently kissing Luz's forehead and leaning back to check it.

Swiping across the screen she answered the call.

"Hey. I'm out front. You're going to want to hear this." Lokte voice answered, their tone guarded.

Amity glanced down at Luz who was still snoring away.

"Alright, give me a moment." Amity told them quietly, hanging up.

Taking a deep breath, she shifted Luz aside her on the couch. Her girlfriend groaned softly, but Amity simply grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to tuck her in, silencing any sleepy protest that would follow. Leaning down she swiped her jersey off the floor and gave it to Luz. For being almost entirely asleep, Luz snatched it quickly from Amity's hands, relaxing back into sleep as she buried her face into the material.

Amity smiled softly. She already couldn't wait to get back under the blankets with her. Grabbing a coat from the front closet, the witch opened the door and slipped out into the night. Standing on the front lawn, Lokte held a squirming kid by the ear.

"Come on, let me go already!!"

"Tell her what you told me!" Lokte ordered sharply, letting the boy's ear go and shoving him forward.

Amity raised an eyebrow. This must've been the little brother.

"Fine. Yeesh! Like I told my sibling over here," the boy turned around to glare at the hulking figure of Lokte before turning back to Amity, "I went to the game with a group of my friends. Sasha and Bryce left to go grab some snacks and when they came back Sasha was really shaken up and Bryce was pissed. They told us something about a really creepy delusional girl who was stalking you. Claiming to be your girlfriend."

Amity's eyes narrowed.

"I don't see why I'm in trouble! We were just watching out for Amity. I mean Bryce usually over exagerrates everything but this was serious. Sasha looked genuinely freaked out, and nothing EVER gets to her. They told the girl that they would call the cops on her if she came near you and then we left shortly after. That's it. That's all that happened. I don't even know what the creep looked like."

Amity's mind was buzzing with anger. She could feel her face going red and had to remind herself to breathe as she heard the two siblings begin to squabble.

"You little, THAT WAS LUZ! Amity's actual girlfriend!"

The boy's eyes widened as they shot between Amity and Lokte.

"Wha- I didn't, I didn't know that!! I swear! The way Bryce was describing her you'd think she was some sort of criminal!" He yelped as Lokte grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket.

"Go. Wait. In. The. Car." They growled. "We'll talk about your choice in friends later."

The boy shrank under his sibling's glare and Amity felt a small bit of pity. Lokte was no small person, they towered over pretty much everyone they met and had the muscles to match. Being on their bad side had to be terrifying, but in actuality that was nothing compared to the pure fury radiating off of Amity as the brother's words registered.

After they watched their brother climb back into the car, Lokte turned to Amity and immediately flinched in fear under the witch's furious stare.

"Looks like I'll be paying Luz's old school a visit tomorrow." Amity growled after a short pause.

Lokte's fear eased only a bit as their eyes lit up with mischief. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I'll see you tomorrow at practice." Amity nodded, ignoring the suggestion as she turned to walk back into the house.

She stopped with her hand on the door handle and turned around. Lokte was climbing back into their car. The teammates shared a look as Amity nodded.

'Thank you.' She mouthed.

Lokte gave her a small smile.

'Anytime.' They mouthed back, turning on the car and pulling away.

When Amity went back inside, she crawled back into Luz's arms, squeezing her close. Tomorrow, she would have to talk with Luz about what she had learned, but tonight?

Tonight Amity buried her head deep into Luz's shoulder, her anger draining rapidly under her girlfriend's warmth.

Regardless of how Luz was always somehow able to relax her, Amity laid there wide awake. Wishing she could do something, anything, to somehow fix the years of emotional abuse Luz had suffered.

All she could do however was hold Luz closer and wait until morning...

#toh #toh au #the owl house #lumity #Hockey AU #part 2 of 4 now because I have problems #will probably post the 3rd part soon #the owl house au

[weeb-writor]

Bakugou’s S/O dies in a crash, leaving him a single father

Hello, gonna be very honest I forgot how to read properly and read a request wrong and wrote a 3000 word fic for it, woohoo! But i mean at least you guys get a fic from it, lol. Italics are flashbacks, bold is reality trying to pull him out of his head, and the regular text is reality. The actual request should be up tomorrow. Reader is neutral and I didn't specify the birthing process! Hope you all enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Bakugou’s S/O dies in a crash leaving him a single dad, he has flashes backs of your life together.

TW: Death, depiction of a car crash and blood. Kinde heavy angst

Words: 3052

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I am so sorry sir but there's nothing we could do for them, w-” The doctor went on but the words slurred together in Bakugou's mind. This isn't how it was supposed to go, you were both supposed to grow old together. Supposed to send Kaori to her first day of school together. To bully the shit out of her first significant other. Go all out on each and every one of her birthdays. To give her at least 3 more brats to hang out with...to cry as you sent her off to college. This isn't how it was supposed to go, he was supposed to protect you, to be your hero. Everything you both had promised to each other was slipping through his grasped fist and the flashbacks were not helping either.

“Watch where you are going, Pomeranian.” You said to him.

“Pomeranian? The fuck, watch your mouth shitty extra!” He roared back at you.

“I think you’re the one who needs soap in his mouth, you're cursing every other word.” You cocked a brow at him.

“Whatever you god damn extra, get outta my way i'm gonna be late.” He backed off shocking his small group of friends.

“What the heck bakubro! If I said that to you I would be dead! You’re caught by the balls already!” Denki said pouting

“Whaddyah just say dunce face? I am not and it doesn't matter. I went easy cause they're so insignificant I wont see them again.” He said with a shrug as they walked into the training yard where their class was meeting.

“Alright, today we have a few helpers from other classes to help you with physical combat skills without the use of your quirks. Pair up with them, if you can actually beat them the first go than you pass. If you don’t, then well you fail, and will do supplementary training with me after every class.” Aizawa said, zipping himself into his sleeping bag.

“Hello class 1-A, Im Y/N. I am in charge of everybody you're about to fight, we've all trained in various types of Martial arts, and uhh you're probably all gonna lose but try your hardest alright?! I've got match-ups based on your physical abilities, so let's begin.” You said getting everyone into their pairs.

“So much for never seeing them again, huh?” Sero said laughing at the fuming bakugou.

“Yeah you’ll be seeing a lot more of me Pomeranian boy, but for now let me wipe the floor with you.” You said getting into a fighting position. He remembers how he lost that fight, terribly he might add. You only offered to help him after the loss, ignoring all his cries of protest. He didn't only lose the fist fight, he lost his heart to you. He had hoped you would never give it back to him, but here you are giving him his heart back. He hated these images, he wants them to stop.

“Bakugou”

“Go on a date with me.” You said as you and bakugou walked back to the dorms together after a sparring session.

“What!?” He yelled at you a deep shade of red.

“You know, on a date, and then you know if all goes well like 2 more before you kiss me and ask me to be officially yours because i'm not easy, you know?”

“Who asks like that!” He continued to yell.

“What did you want some flowers too, bakugou.” You giggled at him.

“You damn, dumbass! Fine but we're going now!” He said grabbing your hand and pulling you away.

“Wait but we are sweaty and I wanted to look nice! You're such a tyrant, Bakugou!” You sang as he pulled you away but slammed into his back as he came to a halting stop.

“Katsuki...call me Katsuki.” He said looking to the side with a blush. This moment was precious to him, your stupid giggle always brought brought blood rushing to his cheeks and made his heart race. As precious as it was, he begged his mind to stop, he didn't want to see what he couldn't have anymore… he wants to forget.

“Bakugou!”

“You know, if i knew you were so messy I wouldn't have moved in with you.” Bakugou yelled to you as he put up one of your many blankets that were always littered around the house.

“Sorry not Sorry, Kat, it's your fault for keeping this damn house like an ice box all the time.” You said as you shoved some more takeout into your mouth.

“And why did you order takeout, i wanted to cook instead of eating that shitty and so unhealthy food.” He nagged you some more but you only giggled. He smiled, that had become his favorite sound.

“Because Mr. Pro- Hero some of us are college students barely staying afloat! It's my last semester so let me live, you ass! Also you are so much like your mother babe, it's kind of funny.” You said to him. His head was bulging in irritation as he sat next to you.

“I can't believe I want to marry you…” He said shaking his head with a sigh. You put down your takeout and stared at him with wide, teary eyes.

“You want to marry… me?” You said to him, he chucked at you before placing a black velvet box in your hand.

“Yeah, so say yes and put the ring on.” He blushed looking away from you.

“You jerk, this is how you ask me? And like an idiot of course I'm putting on the ring with no hesitation.” You giggled around your tears, admiring the ring you had just placed on your finger.

“Yeah, as I recall, you asked me out the same way. Whaddyah want some flowers?” He teased you with a grin. You looked at him with burning passion before your lips met, engaging in a fiery dance of passion. Stop, stop. Please just stop, he begged his brain. At the moment he thought it was perfect, it was so you and so him. Now, he wished he did it on tv or yelled it from the rooftops. Maybe then it would have shown the universe, or god, or whatever was taking him from you just how much he needed and loved you. Just maybe it would have permitted this outcome.

“Bakugou!!”

You and bakugou stared down at the little 6 pound baby. She was sleeping peacefully for the first time since the girl came home, which was 4 day ago! Maybe it was because you had just taken her to meet her grandparents and she didn't want to deal with her grandparents much like her father.

“Give me that baby!” his mom said swopping the baby into her hands. You only giggled at her excitement but Bakugou threw a fit.

“Mom! She's a fuc-freaking newborn! You’ve got to be gentle and support her head! You’re gonna hurt her, it's dangerous” He shouted at his mom.

“Oh hush you ingrate. If that was true believe me kid you’d be dead by now, would've saved me a lot of trouble. Now come on little Kaori, I know you've got it.” She said looking down at Kaori.

“What's she got?” You asked curiously. The blonde did not respond, only blew a little stream of air on the baby's nose and then turned her towards you and the blonde next to you who was still pouting. The baby stirred before waking up giving you all the meanest mug you had ever seen come from a baby.  She stared at bakugou and then at you before going back to sleep.

“She’s got the bakugou bitch face or the bakugou glare or even the bakugou mean mug. However you want to call it but that doesn't matter cause she’s got it.” His mom said placing the sleeping baby in the basinet you guys had brought.

“Did that brat just glare at me!?” Bakugou whispers, causing you to burst into full belly laughter.

“What the hell are you laughing at?” he said to you trying to hide his small smile that was brought out by your laughing.

“Nothing, I just love you and I believe you just said H-E double hockey sticks so we're getting takeout on the way home, love.” You said kissing his cheek. He only stuck his tongue out at you before mumbling a quick ‘i love you back’. It's getting more painful now he's drawing closer to the day he knew his mind was counting down to. As much as he wanted to relish in the memory all he could think of was how Kaori wouldn't remember you or your melodious laughing. How he should have said I love you more clearly in that moment. He wanted it to stop, he wanted the flashes to stop, the memories to stop but they wouldn't and he knew because they were telling your story.

“BAKUGOU!!”

“Come here, dumbass I wanna cuddle!” Bakugou yelled from your bed.

“Hold on I just wanna call your mom and make sure Kaori is okay. It's the first time Kaori has been away so long. She’s only eleven months, she's probably scared without us.” You said with the phone in your hand pacing.

“Babe, if you are so worried you should know I called my mom while you were bathing. Kaori is chasings around my mom's fat cat. And my moms gonna call when they are putting her to bed so we can say goodnight. Now, get over here and quit worrying I want to cuddle you.” He said finally getting you relax enough to lay down, you rested your head on his chest.

“You're such a good dad, you were worried enough to phone your mom.” You said breathing in his caramel scent.

“Of course I did, I worry about you and Kaori whenever yall are out of my sight. I love you both too much yet not enough at the same time.” He said to you kissing the top of your head.

“Katsuki I want us to always be this way, I want to always be with you and kaori smiling. I love you both too much too.” You said back to him straddling him to meet his eyes.

“I want some more brats and a cat and a dog. I want everything with you. And I want it for forever” He said looking up at you with passion. He needs it to stop, he can't relive the same nightmare. He didn't want the image of you dying in his hands to replay, but that's where his mind was heading, wasn't it?

“Bakugou!? Can you hear me!?”

“You know when people said you become boring when you have a baby I didn't believe them but were totally boring. We just did 10 over the speed limit to pick up Kaori.” You said taking a glance in the mirror to see her cute little grumpy face.

“Baby I realized we were boring when we went to that baby store on our day off to look at baby stuff and we went “ ohh” and “awhh” to every third object we saw.” He said back to you with a chuckle. You giggled at him and your eyes fluttered shut for just a second, it was a second too long because when you opened them you slammed into a car ahead of you that had just been in an accident causing a pile up. Behind you a semi rammed into your suv doing terrible damage to the car and everyone inside. Bakugou was the first to wake and quickly fought to get himself free. Once he did he was all over you but you were in far worse shape and the metal of the car dug into you, slicing you open, and locking you into place.

“Noo.. Kat get Kaori first.” you whispered to him.

“Y/N, i'll get you out first, you're right here. Then we’ll get kaori together.” He said tears spilling from his eyes.

“Katsuki, please get Kaori first. Please, i'll try to get loose myself” You plead with him, he thought about it but you were more stuck than her and you were bleeding heavily from the metal cutting into your abdomen.

“Katsuki Bakugou! Her first, then me! I’ll wait for you, promise.” That was all he needed to hear, his heart ached for his little girl who was crying softly more shocked than hurt.

“It's alright baby we're gonna get you safety and then dadas gonna come get mommy and we’ll all go home cuddle.” He said as he pulled the baby from her car seat, recognizing ‘home’ and ‘cuddle’ she clapped at him. He planted gross, wet kisses all over her face before dashing to the place where he saw all the flashing lights congregating. It was a pretty big pile up so there were a lot of ambulances. He took the first one open.

“This is Bakugou Kaori, she’s eleven months and has no allergies to anything or any medication. I'll be coming back with Bakugou y/n who has a pretty deep gash in their abdomen and isn't allergic to any medication either.” He said as the EMT took his baby from him. He almost didn't want to leave her but he knew you were waiting on him, so he dashed back to your totaled car where he saw people crowding your figure as they had just pulled you out.

“Y/N!” He said dropping to the ground taking you from the girl who was holding you.

“Come on, you're bleeding a lot we’ve got to get you to the ambulance.” He said tears cascading from his eyes as he tried to lift you while simultaneously slowing your bleeding but as he lifted you not only did you scream, blood rushed out of your gash at a very alarming rate.

“We can't lift them, they're losing too much blood, the ambulance got to come down here….They’ll die if we take them down there.” Someone said as Katsuki placed you back on the ground. He wanted to yell at them and tell them they were wrong but he knew they weren't. As well as he knew the ambulance wouldn't fit down here, it was hard for him to fit through the cracks of the cars. He had to try though for you, for Kaori, and for himself.

“You're all hurt, go get to an ambulance and get some help, idiots.... And please, I'm begging you, make one of them come down here.” The group of people nodded as they raced for the ambulances.

“Told you I’d wait on you, Kat.”

“Yeah, you did such a good job, baby! You are so strong, love. They went to get help, everything's gonna be alright.” He whispered to you clutching your body closer to him.

“Who are you trying to convince me or you.” You laughed coughing up blood.

“Stop laughing, dumbass this isn't funny.” He gritted his teeth at you.

“Alright then stuffy, onto the serious business. I want Kaori to grow up knowing what love is, so tell her all our cheesy stories. I want her to grow up knowing she is so loved by you so tell her everyday from me and you that you love her more than anything. I want her to know she can come to you for anything so don't be such a hardass to her when she starts to rebel a little…. I don't want her to forget my face or my voice too much, so as much as it might hurt at first show her all the pictures and videos we took over the years. And when she's old enough to understand what happened tonight tell her she doesn't need to go to my grave if she ever wants to talk to me, I'm always watching over you both, promise.” You paused to throw up some more blood. “And now for you my love, I won't say anything to cliché. Like ‘i want you to find love’ cause we both know I am the jealous type but if it happens don't worry I'm not turning over in my grave. I want you to keep following that dream of yours if anyone can be the Top hero and a single dad it’s you, Kat. I want you to indulge yourself and eat takeout sometimes that stuffy diet of yours isn't fun. Be sad for as long as you need but just don't hold it all inside and try to continue on like everything is fine. It's okay to cry, to need a break or some help or both really. Lastly, Bakugou Katsuki, I love you and I am so sorry we didn't get that always and forever we wanted.” You said using the last of your strength to caress his cheek. He sobbed as he grasped your hand and held it tighter to his cheek.

“I love y-” he tried to say but stopped as he realized you were already gone. You didn't get to hear it back from him… the scream that ripped from him was pure anguish in its finest form. He should've been quicker to say it. He should have said it more often. He just should have. And now he was begging his head to stop playing these flashbacks to stop driving the knife further into his heart, he had a daughter he was trying to live for. He just wanted it to stop.

“DADA DADA”

Just like that he was drawn from his head. He looked around to see his friends and family staring at him in concern and his daughter at his feet with fat tears rolling down her face. He quickly picked her up, cursing at himself as he probably just scared her.

“What are you crying for you, little brat?” He started but paused as fat tears of his own rolled down his sunken cheeks “Everything's gonna be alright soon, so we shouldn't cry for too long okay, Brat.” He said as he hugged Kaori tighter than he should have. Somewhere in his mind he did believe it. That he and his daughter would be okay but for right now he was trying to stay afloat in the waves of suffocating flashbacks.

#bakugou katuski x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x you #bhna x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #very sad #angst #poc writers

[angelmush]

hey! I’ve got a 12 week old puppy who is very nibbly, have you got any tips on how to train her out of it? currently working on redirecting it to a chew toy but would love and advice (also realise she’s just a puppy and will grow out of it but would like to try!)

omg congrats on ur new friend!! my dog before goose was a super bitey puppy, that can be such a frustrating phase. i would do all the normal things, yelping, ending the game, walking away for a moment, then the redirecting to toys. and even still, with her it still felt like forever until the nipping stopped.

the biggest tip i can give u is that with dogs, behavior is communication. they are not trying to make u mad or be dominant over u, but a puppy that is relentless with biting at u is always telling u something.

1) teething is painful! mouthing helps soothes that pain and your hands are an irresistible temptation. this can be helped by providing chews (i like toys like chilly bones, bully sticks occasionally, or teething toys). puppies grow out of chewing on you because of teething around 6 months old, so hang in there!

2) they’re overtired! okay literally this one is what finally helped me with my bitey saint bernard. puppies are similar to human toddlers in that they ride the line of cranky and overstimulated when they need a nap, and often they won’t put themselves to sleep. if u have ever been playing w ur puppy for a long time and all of a sudden they shapeshift into a man eating shark with an insatiable craving for human flesh, they probably need to go into the crate for a nap. this for us was a game changer.

3) they’re frustrated! a puppy has a low tolerance for frustration typically, and they don’t quite now how to communicate it yet. no worries, they have 42 razor sharp puppy teeth to convey the message with. this may be accompanied by frustration barking too! trying to identify the source of the frustration is your best bet here (toy stuck under couch, water bowl empty, dog has to pee).

4) overarousal during play! your dog may just be having too much of a good time playing with you and riling himself up. this was definitely the case with my pup, she had a hard time regulating her excitement so she was almost always playing at a 10. when she would bite, i would end the game instantly. i would quickly and wordlessly put her in the crate to calm down. i would set the timer for 60 seconds and let her back out to play (if she wasn’t wining) after her little cool down time. this got her biting to end pretty fast!

5) hands are confusing little toys to a dog! i would like to note here that dogs also think human hands are so FUN! we wave them around their faces like little toys. and while we might be pushing them away to get them to stop biting at us, a dog sees that as such a fun game, and are inclined to give em a little chomp. crossing ur arms over ur chest is helpful at combatting this sometimes!

my last tip: never underestimate the power of managing the behavior instead of training it.

managing = things the human does to prevent the unwanted behavior from occurring (ex: clear the counters so dog isn’t tempted or rewarded by jumping up and countersurfing)

training = what we teach the dog to do instead of performing the unwanted behavior (ex: dog is taught a “leave it” command to ignore food on the counter)

my biggest life hack for puppies is to use a leash indoors (manage the behavior using the leash). your puppy cannot bite you if he can’t reach your hands because you are holding him at a distance with the leash until he calms down for a moment. leashes are so helpful with managing puppies!

i hope this was helpful info, though i am sure in your own research u have read most of this already hahaha. thanks for reaching out, i wish u and ur new friend good luck!!

#asks #dogs #long post

[notmymainblog]

Villain

Sirius x reader

Master list

InteractiveFics  

 to use: enter name in enter name here box. If you need to change something other than y/n click that option. After you input y/l/n y/h etc, CLICK STORE THIS REPLACEMENT. all done good job!

Warnings: angst, violence :(, self-harm :/, the relationship is toxic, suicidal ideation, and JAMES IS SO MEAN IM SORRY

HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!

Prompts: 1.I let you down; 2.I'm not a villain. You shouldn't treat me like one; 3.I don't need help! I just want the pain to go away; 4.did it ever occur to you that you're hurting me too? 5. I’m not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.

You sat alone in your room. It was dark and raining. ‘Pretty cliche,’ you thought to yourself. You were in a fight with your boyfriend, Sirius. He was a great guy, really, but you two were both very stubborn, and sometimes you were both a bit too blunt. He knew what he did wrong but didn't want to apologize. This was how most of your fights went. You always made out up. But this one was different.

You were both sitting up at the astronomy tower late at night. Peaceful moments were sparse between you two. It was special. You were leaning against his shoulder, and he was kissing the top of your head, telling you that he loved you and would never leave you. Footsteps echoed up the stairs, and you pushed him off of you drawing your wand at him.

“Stupid fucking Gryffindor!” you yelled, “you're lucky I don't throw you off the tower,”

He had his wand raised as well. “I'd be grateful if you did, you bloody snake. I couldn't stand living in a world that has you in it y/l/n!”

The footsteps retreated down the stairs quickly as you both sat down next to each other once again.

“Why can't we just tell them, Sirius?” You whispered, “I love you; I don't care what they think of it. I don't care if they bully me. I only care about you.”

He sighed “y/n, I love you too but, we're just too different. It's a miracle that we’re even together, ” he laughed softly. You didn't think it was funny but brushed it off. “I just don't want people to think that I'm...” he trailed off.

“What? You don't want people to think you're what?” You said, pulling away and raising your voice, “like me? You don't want them to know you're dating me because of my fucking house? I was sorted at eleven, Sirius. Do you really think I'm still the same as I was at eleven? You think I'm bad? You don't want to be seen with me? Is that it?”

He looked down “y/n... I mean...yeah...kind of.” he cleared his throat, “but when you say it like that, it sounds bad.”

Your eyes started to water “that's because it is bad, Sirius. I'm not a villain. You shouldn't treat me like one.”

“y/n wait!” he called out. But you were already halfway down the stairs, crying softly.

You reached the bottom and headed straight outside. (pretend that Lucius is the same age as you and Sirius) you caught your breath under a tree on the outskirts of the forbidden forest.

The smell of cigarette smoke filled your nose.

“Black hit a nerve?” Lucius questioned, “looked pretty intense; I personally think you should've thrown him off as you threatened. We both know your bark is just as strong as your bite.”

You laughed dully “you could say that. And maybe I should've, ” you said.

The blonde handed you an already lit cigarette. To both of your surprise, you took it. After a long drag, you exhaled, smoke pouring from your mouth. He sunk next to you, and you felt more at peace with him sitting next to you than you ever had with Sirius.

“So, ” he began, “have you guys hate fucked yet?”

You snorted “disgusting, ” another drag “do you know how many STDs I'd test positive for?” It pained you slightly to think of how many other girls Sirius had been with. And those were just the ones you knew of.

Lucius let out a genuine laugh “at least fourty,” he pushed his hair back, “if you ever needed to...get rid of him, I could help.”

Your breath caught in your chest. “I'd rather not, ” you had to think quickly, “the Blacks are a vital family, and somehow he's part of it. We’d be in deep shit if we got caught, ”

Lucius frowned “vital my ass, ” he huffed “all I'm saying is that Walburga would thank us, ”

You could sense the newly formed tension, “I should head back, Lucius; it was nice seeing you. We should talk more often.”

As you got up, he grabbed your arm. You winced in pain. “I've noticed all the long sleeves y/n. I'm not a great listener, but Narcissa is. You should talk to her if you need someone.”

You nodded. You did have someone you could talk to if you really needed it, but Sirius was apparently disgusted by you. You made your way back to the castle, crawling into bed.

The next day

You walked into the great hall. While walking past the Gryffindor table, you had your eyes glued to the floor.

“Look what crawled out of the dungeons this morning.” James laughed at you. You looked up. Sirius didn't say anything. He just laughed softly, avoiding your gaze.

“You know what? That's it, ” you growled, pulling out your wand and holding it to James’ throat.

Remus raised his wand at you, but it fell to the floor after Lucius muttered “expelliarmus, ” next was Sirius, but Severus knocked his wand away even quicker than Lucius’. He was dying for James to have a taste of his own medicine. You muttered a spell as painful boils spread over his body; your eyes were locked with Sirius’ the whole time.

“That'll teach you, bitch, ” you spat at him. Riping your gaze away from Sirius’ wide eyes, Lucius and Severus walked you to the table.

“Next time, it’ll be you, Black, ” Lucius hissed. “I heard your little fight, ” he warned, raising his wand threateningly before walking back to the table.

Even though you had made yourself a sort of target, you felt safe. ‘Maybe I should stick with my “own kind,”’ you thought sarcastically although you wondered if there was some truth to it. As the day went by, everything was normal. Except that you weren't sitting alone, watching Sirius from afar. You had friends. Were they good people? Merlin no! But you didn't think Sirius was so great either.

Exiting y/n’s mind

Bringing yourself back to the present, you focused on hearing the rain tap outside of your window and the dull burning on your wrists. You sighed deeply. You decided to go for a walk. This was a mistake.

As you walked down the empty corridors, you were shoved against the wall by a dark-haired boy who was no longer covered in boils.

“An eye for an eye y/n,” he rolled up your sleeve. He laughed “guess I've got my work cut out for me, ” He said before adding a fresh cut to your arm.

You locked your eyes onto Sirius’ grey ones; he was horrified but didn't move. You wrenched yourself free from James and stormed over to him. “I will never forgive you for this, Sirius! Never!” you began to cry “what happened to ‘i’ll always be there for you’? ‘I’ll always love you y/n’? Huh? You only love me when it's convenient for you. When you want someone to cry to or someone to suck you off. Not that I'd ever go near that thing, I'd get at least twelve infections.”

You scoffed, the tears drying, “I wish I'd never met you, Sirius Black. I wish I'd never given you a god damn thing, but I gave you all of me. Every ounce of my time and energy for someone who would watch his friend cut me.” you wanted to kill him, “speaking of cutting, the only one who fucking noticed was Lucius. Not you. You're a horrible person Sirius Black; you should be the one in Slytherin.” you finished.

You walked away, feeling his eyes on you. They were both silent. Loud footsteps came down the hallway as Lucius stormed up to James, leaving him with a split lip, one less tooth, and a black eye. You turned around, seeing him walk towards Sirius.

You ran to Sirius, pulling him behind you, “Lucius, please don't, please.” you begged.

He looked at you “even after what he did to you?”

You nodded, “yes,” you whispered, although you weren't so sure.

He sighed “you're an awful person Sirius.” he walked away.

“Y/n you really don't have to forgive-”

“I didn't, ” you interrupted. Walking away.

As time went by, Sirius began to change. He didn't let James bully Severus; he made up with Regulus and would even show lost students the way to their classes. One day you were sitting at the astronomy tower late at night. Cold and alone. No one is kissing the top of your head or telling you they loved you; no warmth or comfort surrounded you.

You began to break down. The bottle inside of you broke, and the emotions came spilling out—love, fear, joy, guilt, regret, sadness, anger, hatred. Tears streamed down your face. You looked over the edge of the tower. It was a large drop. Easily 200 feet.

‘How would it feel, ” you wondered, ‘to hit the ground?’ another voice inside of you spoke up ‘how would it feel if someone caught you?’ but there was no one there to catch you. You sighed and looked around. You were still crying softly, leaning further over the railing, wondering if you would just slip and fall.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back. You didn't struggle. You just sighed. Unsatisfied with your fate.

You turned around “what do you want, Sirius?” you said, sounding bored.

“What do I want?!” he yelled. “I want you not to kill yourself!”

You sighed and began to walk away until he grabbed your arm, making you wince once again.

“y/n, please let me help, ” he said, eyes teary “please let me help you,”

Another crack in the bottle.

Tears spilled from your eyes. “I don't need help! I just want the pain to go away!” You sobbed, looking up at him, your y/h/c hair blowing in the wind.

He groaned, “Let me fucking help you y/n, or I'm pitching myself off this God-forsaken tower too, ”

Your breathing stopped momentarily. Why should you care if he did? After everything he did to you, he deserves it, right? But your stomach twisted at the thought.

“did it ever occur to you that you're hurting me too?” he said “ fuck wait, no, I shouldn't have said that. That's not what I meant y/n I just meant that,” he sighed. “I let you down. I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but I just need you to know that I'm sorry and that I, ” his voice broke, “I really did- I really do love you y/n.”

Tears fell down his cheeks “the day of graduation, I wanted to take you up here,” he stopped to gasp for air, “and I wanted to ask you to marry me. I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to say sorry the day after, but I laughed at James’ dumb joke when I should've stood up for you. I should have told him to shut the fuck up and never talk to the girl I love like that ever again. But I didn't, ”

He put his head in his hands, “I didn't. And he hurt you. And I didn't fucking stop him. God y/n I fucking died that day, ” he sobbed again “you were so scared. I was right there. When I looked at you I just-” his voice broke “I hated him y/n. I hated myself. I still hate him. I still hate myself for it. I never spoke to him again unless I was yelling at him to let Snape go.”

He looked up at you, “I'm not asking you to forgive me y/n. I just wanted you to know that I think about it-about you, every day. And that I never just let it go. That I never touched another girl. I never thought about another girl. That it's always been and always will be you. Whether we're together ten years later, or we never speak again.”

You were speechless as tears rolled down your cheeks; he pulled out the box storing the ring.

“Oh my God, Sirius, this isn't the-” you began

“No, no! I just wanted you to know I was telling the truth. I still carry it around.” he said, looking down.

You sighed, he was really sad. He was really sorry. And he really loved you.

“One more chance, ” you whispered, “your last chance, ”

He looked up at you, “y/n, I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He kissed you gently. “I’m not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.” and this time he meant it.

Dinner was boring; you sat with Sirius and Regulus at the end of the Slytherin table. Lucius and Severus joined you, mostly to keep an eye on Sirius. You left the great hall.

“Let me walk you back y/n,” Sirius said, kissing your temple. “Regulus is going to the library. Lucius and Severus left at least ten minutes ago, and I don't want you to go yet, ” he finished.

You sighed “well, alright, ” it was really nice of him to walk you back. He never did this stuff when you first started dating, if you could even call it that.

Sirius smiled and placed his hand on your lower back as you headed back to your dorm.

“Hey!” James shouted

You tensed. “Sirius, ” you whispered

“I know, ” he said, “I've got you. Don't worry. I'm here. He won't hurt you again.” he wrapped his arm around you. “Yes?” he said. He was trying to stay neutral even though he was fuming.

“Are you bringing her as like a peace offering? I mean, what are you doing with this slut?” he said, pointing at you.

“Dont fucking talk to her like that, ” he said “come on y/n, let's go,” he said quietly.

James stepped in front of him “what's the rush? Stay awhile, ”

Sirius was done. He was tired, pissed off, and just wanted to go back to your dorm and do sweet, sappy bullshit for you. Like read to you or hold you or drink tea with you. Not have some face-off with James. So he punched him in the face.

“Let's go, ” he repeated, steering you away from James, who was seeing stars. The walk back to your dorm was relatively quick.

When you got to the door of your room, you hesitated, “would you umm like to come in, ” you said softly.

He nodded. You walked in and sat on the edge of your bed awkwardly. Sirius sat behind you. He pulled you to him before laying both of you down. You were pressed to his chest. You were tired. So tired. You just hadn't realized it until now.

“Can you stay?” you said softly

He smiled. “I'd love to y/n.”

“I love you, Sirius, ” the words felt better in your mouth than fresh warm food.

“I love you too y/n, ” he whispered.

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THAT WAS KINDA INTENSE DAMN. I entered ‘flow state’ using a subliminal, and I think it worked. I want to write some Remus fluff next 🥺 IM SO SORRY, JAMES WAS SO MEAN, BUT PETER AND REMUS JUST WOULDNT HAVE MADE SENSE! That's all for today. If you're feeling depressed or suicidal, please call or text 1-800-273-8255 (Suicide Hotline) or 1-800-231-1127 (Common Ground). Please refer to the post below this if you are struggling with something different.

#angst #angst with a happy ending #angst with fluff #fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius x you #x reader #harry potter #harry potter marauders #marauders era

[partnersatfazbear]

Fazbear Frights: What We Found Analysis

Here’s my analysis for What We Found, the third story in Gumdrop Angel. I wrote this as I read so it may be a little different than my previous analysis where I read the story first and went back.

If you’re a Michael Afton fan I highly recommend this. Also, there’s possibly some insight into William Afton, Mrs. Afton, and Henry too, so it’s worth a skim.

Pg 144 '...a place thirty-some years forgotten' Just reconfirming FNAF 3 is 30 years past *one* of the FNAF closings, presumably FNAF 2 location.

Pg 145 "The whole building was giving him [Hudson] a headache." FIX THE VENTILATION BRUH

Pg 148 '...they were able to use salvaged derelict equiptment original to the old pizzerias.' Another confirmation of something we heard from Phone Guy.

Pg 147 "How old are you?" "Twenty-three, same as you." I think this gives us Michael's age during FNAF 3.

EDIT: This kept me awake last night. Obviously this is impossible because he has to be alive for at least 10 years before 1983, BUT maybe its just reconfirming FNAF 3′s year? 2023?

Pg 149 "Hudsan's dad died and his mom married Lewis, a ridiculous balding man who wore plaid vests and smoked a pipe" Did... Did this book just seriously imply Mrs. Afton left William for Henry? Really? (Yes, there's differences; the husband is dead and the man wears plaid 'vests' but it seems very odd to include that detail. This could just have been the writer's own imagination, though.) I have seen this as a fan theory and 100% explains the jealousy aspect of William, but I can't help but kinda hate it. I think this is very important, though, and probably Scott's intention. "This horrible little man [Lewis]... would make Hudson's next ten years a living Hell" This REALLY intrigues me given the context I just went over. The text implies Lewis was fairly neglectful to our main character / Michael stand-in Hudson. Maybe I'm wrong and for some reason Mrs. Emily left and went to William? XD Haha, I'm reading too much into this page. Maybe I'll come back to this later. I figure it's more of Scott possibly including double-details (contradicting stuff with the same character that really applies to two, which has been something I heavily pointed out in previous anaylsis on this blog) Having said that, I'm going w/the former because I can't imagine Henry being abusive (neglectful yes, abusive no) and he's never been portrayed that way in official works like William has in the novels.

Pg 150 "Hudson began to screw up in class...a product of spending the night in fear that his stepfather [Lewis]... [would] beat him just for the fun of it." Ooof. Big confirm on William actually being abusive. Unless we stick with the Henry theory for Lewis (combined with Midnight Motorist Henry theory / alcoholic). "...near-daily beatings..." "his mom started taking pills to get through the day..." So, whoever Mrs. Afton is, she was definetly not paying attention. But then, most people married to serial killers either don't notice because of denial (like this) or because the killer is so manipulative / careful they can't notice.

"Barry, who had red hair and freckles..." Yo?! Is that a description of Fritz?! These friends in the story could be the other kids Michael knew's stand-in's, aka the two gravestones with names he used (Fritz and Jeremy), as shown in the checks for the games and FNAF 6. I've long figured Michael was probably friends with the victims--it makes them easier, although riskier, targets [for William]. The two friends are male, too, like Fritz and Jeremy. If you're curious about Duane's description (our stand in for Jeremy), it's "tight black shirt... muscles... black hair long enough for a glossy ponytail..." I'm not sure if this matches anything found in the novels or contradicts them, though. (The novels = TSE trilogy)

"And so it went... until the night of the fire." For context, this is before FF burns down. We're learning of Hudson's life from his close friends in childhood, his father's death, his mother remarrying, to his abusive stepfather, to his grades slipping to this line. This would be a new fire not seen/mentioned in the games...

Pg 151 "...go to Charlie's for a sundae..." Really. Really Scott. Just gonna use this name again. OK. I'm not even gonna discuss this because it's probably irrelevant. *This is confirmed on pg 158 to be an ice cream shop. No lore relevance aside the annoying name coincidences Scott loves to troll with.

"This is not... an advance into enemy territory, a fight with demons, or a descent into Hell..." Uh, what? What is Hudson talking about? XD I'm only noting it because it seems so out of place. He's probably talking about video games or something.

Another note, although I don't have a specific reference since it is mentioned off-hand many times, is that Hudson keeps referring to his "history" which is implied to have kept him from getting a well-paying job and a girl he's crushing on doesn't know this "history" which is good for him. Seems good old "Michael Stand-In" has done some jail time or something. Edit: On pg 154/155 the girl asks Hudson, "Did you do it?" Seems he may have killed his stepfather or been involved with something else just as bad. Edit 2: No, I was thinking too deep into it. This probably refers to Evan's death at Fredbear's. DUH.

Pg 156 describes an actual "prize corner" in FF! What am I even reading? IIRC this is in FNAF 3, too. So they just hand out these scary gift boxes to people that complete the attraction? (Hudson says he *would* have fun handing out the scary toys to kids when this location opens--kind of a bully thing to do, eh?)

"[Hudson] avoid[ed] glancing in any of the mirrors..." I'm only pointing this out because it could be reference to one of two things. 1) We know because of one of UCN's music tracks, William has a fear of his reflection. Michael probably shares this trait, especially since 2) after Ennard and all... and later on pg 157 it also says, "he never wanted to face: himself" Sounds like guilt, my guy.

Pg 157 "blonde hair... blue eyes..." Hudson shares an eye color with Michael. It's possible Michael had blonde hair as a child and it changed to brown (it's common, something I personally went through being technically blonde/ blue eyed myself)

"He [Hudson] knew from personal experience that toys could turn from fun...to torture ina heart-beat" Fairly self explanatory. Either Hudson's worked at a creepy location before or he doesn't like remembering Fredbear's.

*checks how much is left.* There's still 35 pages (not counting back/front) left of this... This is gonna be a lot of notes.

Pg 158 Hudson doesn't have a car. Poor Mike, probably having to walk everywhere. Especially as a corpse.

Pg 160 This page describes many physical issues Hudson has that prevents him from entering the Navy, all from the abuse of Lewis. Obvious paralell to Michael becoming an undead [because his father sent him to CBPR indirectly causing his condition]

Pg 161 "How's your granny, Hud?... ...Is she still alive?" "I don't think she can die." Does anyone in the Afton family really 'die'? XD

Pg 162 These few pages discuss Hudson's grandmother. She's described as "a seer who claimed to know the future... ...wore big men's plaid flannel shirts with baggy jeans" Um, more plaid / flannel? AGH. STAHP. Lowkey, I would totally headcanon my Aunt Jen like this, though.

Pg 163 "Hudson's mom... the way she was before Hudson's dad had died... never... particularly warm and fuzzy... but... effiencient and responsible..." More about Mrs. Afton, so that's kinda neat.

"Hudson's dad was fun and attentive." There's a good Dad in this series?

"Unfortunetly, he also struggled with mental illness." "invisible low points" (Pg 164) Kinda reminds me of how Henry is described after Charlotte's death in the books.

Pg 164 "When Steven got himself into a bad deal that cost him his small business... he'd taken his life." Oh, it is Henry! SMH. Way to use confusing paralells. So, from our understanding thus far, Hudson's real father, Steven, is our Henry stand-in. His step-father despite being described similar to Henry, is actually our William stand-in. Fair game, Scott.

Pg 164 "...he [Hudson] was locked into a supply closet..." Oh shit, you guys. So, let me go on a tangent here, because this IS important! I just watched a retrospective on Sister Location and FNAF 6 earlier and one theory for Midnight Motorist was the person in the chair was the mother and the kid was Michael. I think this little line may confirm that. In fact, the story may be the key to figuring things out. Obviously, the line is a paralell to FNAF 4's scene in which Crying Child was locked in the supply closet of Fredbear's. I know some people, including Matpat, believe[d] CC was Michael, and in this book's context, it sort of works. This does contradict Step Closer and 1000 other things that make Michael the older brother, but maybe it's hinting at MM? Abusive stepdad (possibly Henry... maybe William is gone at this point), checked out Mom (hey, grey couch lady with Foxybro's font). IDK, but its definetly something to think about.

Pg 165 Lewis is mentioned as calling Hudson "nothing" and saying "you're nothing" on several occasions on this page. Just more abuse, for those accurate fanfic writers like me. Also I kinda wanna watch Morel Orel again. Yall know my fav character is Clay. Yall know.

"You're smoke." <-- Lewis / The text later reads, "...there was some irony, given what eventually happened." BRUH. Why did your stepdad die in a fire? :V TELL ME.

"When his family's house burned down at the end of his senior year..." Huh. Is there a fire we don't know about in the game-verse? Could this explain what happened to the FNAF 4 house before MM house?!

"...it purged Hudson of Lewis and his mother." MRS. AFTON BURNED ALIVE, TOO? Bruh. I can't with this story.

The text later describes the fire is concluded to be man-made and Hudson was blamed for it. Can't say if this ties to Michael, but it IS interesting... TBF, there is a small paralell to draw between Henry in FNAF 6 and his history of suicide in the books, too.

Pg 166 "...this place's [FF] busted thermostat.." I just find this line funny.

Pg 167 "...after three weeks of keeping an eye on the place" Some more timeline context for FNAF 3. We know that Michael worked there a little while before we start playing the game thanks to one of the phone calls, IIRC, so this makes sense. If Michael was accused of [something] and also wanting to hunt down his father, then it makes perfect sense why he's working a dead end job at Freddy's over and over and over. Fun fun fun.

Pg 169 "He hated to think about a functional character [Foxy]" This line is in regards to Hudson not liking the set up of Pirate's Cove and Foxy's hook to scare people. Sounds familiar, don't it? (For Michael anyway.)

Pg 173 "Some big find is arriving tomorrow." SPRINGY BOI! COME ON BOOK, get on with the show?

Pg 176 "Granny was wearing a red-and-green plaid shirt and her baggy jeans." Nothing special, but it was specifically brought up twice. I'm kind of racking my brain trying to understand what the point of this character is outside of "woooo everything is haunted don't you know that" kind of character.

Pg 180 "...dropped the crate on the linoleum with a resounding thud." HEY. Poor Springtrap, just gettin' tossed around like the trash he is.

Pg 186 "If you weren't so stupid, I'd tell you more about it." Springtrap bringing the burn. =:)

"A voice with a burr-like rasp...hint of a Southern accent" I'm going to assume this is because it's Lewis probably in the suit in this story and not our old British lad.

"It's was Mr. Atkin's voice." THE MATH TEACHER? *goes back to check* 'The algebra teacher'. Okay...

Pg 190 Okay, so Hudson hear's Lewis' voice this time. Okay, I get it now. Springtrap in this kind of imbodies all of Hudson's old bullies, including the teacher. He also has PTSD, just FYI. IDK if anyone finds that important, but it's fairly obvious by the line "He wasn't in his bedroom. Lewis didn't just slam his head into a desk; his head had been slammed into the [arcade] game."

"Why did he hallucinate a scene from his childhood?" Oh, it's not PTSD, then. It's just the VENTILATION ERROR. lol Okay.

Just a note, as I'm reading through the more action-based stuff, I kind of feel bad for Michael if he had flashbacks like this guy. They're intense.

So, Lewis' voice finally comes out of Springtrap on Pg 213. There's that.

Pg 220 "You can just stay there [in his room]" Kind of a paralell to Midnight Motorist. Lewis is saying it to Hudson. I really feel like the kid in the MM game is Michael because of this story...

Pg 223 "Heat purges. Fire heals." I'm sure that's Henry's life motto.

The ending was stupid, but most in these stories are. Hudson is hallucinating and is implied to have burned himself alive in FF's oven. Meh? The first half of this one is A TRIP and a little insight into what I 100% believe is Michael's childhood. I think the saddest part of it all is that we never got Springtrap speaking to Michael in FNAF 3--and if it's ever remade I hope we get more of them interacting.

#fazbear frights #fnaf spoilers #spoilers #what we found #michael afton #springtrap #fnaf theories #fnaf theory #fnaf 3 #midnight motorist #mrs. afton #henry emily

[sery-chan-13]

Together

Chapter 4 to 100 Promises

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

It's going to start off where chapter... 2? Left off. I think it was chapter 2 anyways.

Warnings: swearing, weapons, and I think that's it. This chapter isn't that bad.

You feel down to the floor, staring out to the person standing on the balcony. 'Why did I have fucking glass see through doors? Oh fuck my taste in aesthetics!' You thought, looking around a bit panicked, looking for any type of solutions. You quickly crawled besides the bed, hoping they didn't see you. They did. It was to dark out without any lights, so you couldn't see any specific features, other than they were tall, and had some sort of weapon. "Please be locked please be locked please be locked," you muttered, grabbing the dagger you had from the game. The person turned the doorknob from the outside, opening the door. "Oh, fuck me!" You shouted standing up, pointing the dagger at them. "Try me bitch, see what happens! I am not afraid to stab you!"

"Woah there. Didn't think you'd hate me that much," they said, laughing. You recognized that voice. That laugh. You'd know it from anywhere, although it sounded a bit more... confident.

"Niragi?" You asked, hopeful in his answer. "That's me," he said, finally stepping into the part of your room that had enough light from the moon to see. You dropped the dagger, your eyes widening. "You're not? You're not dead," you whispered, walking over to him. "Dead? Why would I be-" he started, before you hugged him tightly. He could feel the shaky breaths you were taking, and decided now wasn't the time. "You stupid fuck, I thought you were dead!" You suddenly shouted, pushing him away. "Yeah? Well, I thought you were safe back home you dumb bitch!" He shouted back. You two looked at each other with a straight face for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.(that's how you know you're best friends UwU)

"I'm so glad I found you! Well... you found me? I don't know, I don't care. How did you find me?" You asked, watching as he walked around your old room. "An educated guess," he said. You laughed watching as he walked around. "I'm guessing all your stuff is at our apartment?" He guessed. You nodded. "Not like I would need it. Also, what's with the gun? And how did you find out I was even here?" You asked, it suddenly dawning on you there was no possible way he could've known. "To your first question, I'll answer in a bit.  To your second question, a... Cheshire cat of sort, I guess you could say," he answered with a smirk. "Cheshire cat? The only person who I've even talked to is- wait... that little! Does he have really blonde, almost white hair and a very condescending look all the time? Pretty short?" You asked, getting a bit angry at the thought that someone had lied to you, and you hadn't caught on. "Uh.. yeah? Wait, do you know him?" It was Niragi's turn to be confused. "That little bitch! He told me- hmph! I'm going to kick his ass off a roof next time I see him!" You yelled in anger. Niragi knew when you got angry to let you rant. You were scary when you were angry. He learned that pretty early on, and learned to stay out of your way when you want to deal with someone. "Yeah, he has that effect on people. He pisses me off. Chishiya... he's well, Chishiya. Thinks he's better than everyone sometimes, I swear," Niragi said. You stopped your rant with a sigh. "Sorry. This is kind of a new situation. Don't know how to deal with it," you muttered sitting on the edge of your bed. Another thing Niragi noticed early on was that you didn't do exceptional with change. "It's human nature to adapt to new things. Just takes you a bit longer. And from what I heard, you did great for your first game," Niragi said as he sat next to you. "Who- oh... Chishiya... Where have you been staying since the games started?" You asked, looking at him curiously. "That's actually what I came here to talk about. Basically, it's a 'safe haven' called the Beach. Players go there, we all play the games when assigned, collect the cards, and give them to Hatter, the leader. Basically communism," he explained. "The fuck?" Were your only words. He laughed. "The more games you play, the more cards you collect, or the more useful you are to the Beach, the higher you wristband number. Right now, we think that if we collect a complete deck of cards, a person can leave. The number 1 leaves first, then we all go up a number," he kept explaining, showing you his wrist band. "4? What did you do to get up that high?" You asked, amazed at his high ranking. "Played the games. Oh, and I guess I'm part of the milital sect, so there's that," he said. He found it cute how you were so excited about something so... irrelevant to him. He had always found it interesting how your emotions could go like the flip of a switch. You could be a total badass one second and the next be curled up under blankets acting cute.

"You're so mean to me!" You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest. He could only laugh in response. "Jerk! I'll lock you out!" You shouted, stomping your foot. He knew you were lying, and you wouldn't. Or, at least he thought so.

"(Y/N), it's been 3 hours, come on I'm sorry," he apologized for what seemed to be the hundredth time to him. You really had locked him out on the balcony. You sat in front of the glass doors, sticking your tongue out at him. "(Y/N), you're 17, not 5 for God's sake, let me in already! You're being really annoying right now!" He shouted, getting angry at you now. Not something that happened very often. You tilted your head to the side, and frowned. You unlocked the door and opened it. He came into the room, and you went and sat on your bed. "Fucking finally..." he whispered to himself. He heard you say something under your breath.

"What was that?" He asked, looking at you. " 'M sorry... don't be mad. I didn't mean to be annoying," you whispered loud enough for him to hear. He suddenly regretted his choice of words from earlier. Being childish sometimes was how you expressed your feelings. You didn't get to be or act like a child when you were younger, so with him, you felt like you could be. He realized that you trusted him enough to do that, and he had been rude about it. "I'm not mad at you. I shouldn't have used those words, I know it's just you being you," he said, sitting down besides you. "I'm sorry I locked you out..." you muttered an apology as you hugged him. "Apology accepted. And I'm sorry for what I did for you to lock me out, and for what I said," he apologized, hugging you back. "You just... it scared me, I thought you had actually... actually done that," you whispered. "I'm thought you'd left me..."

He had remembered that day more than most because it showed how much he actually mattered to you. Back then, when he thought he was worthless and how no one would miss him if her were gone, you did. You had always cared, since the first day he met you. It was one thing he liked about you. The way you cared about people, even if they didn't deserve to be cared about. Sure, you had trouble accepting apologies from people who had hurt you, but it didn't stop you from being nice when needed.

"Yumi? Are you alright?" You asked, seeing one of your bullies crying. "G-get away from me freaks," she had stuttered, wiping away the tears. Niragi tried to pull you away. He knew what this girl had said to you. She was always making fun of you, how you looked, your weight.(I mean, I didn't make the reader plus sized(I'll keep it as neutral as possible), but the more I write, the more I want to. Niragi gives me vibes of the skinny guys who love chubby/plus size women. Aka, the best kind of guy) Anything to make you feel bad about yourself. "Let's just go..." he whispered, trying to pull you away. You shook his hand off, walking over to her. "Yumi-San, what's wrong?" You asked, reaching in your bag, finding a tissue and handing it to her. She blew her nose into it. "M-my boyfriend broke up with me. But it's none of your concern, freak," she sniffled. You both knew who her boyfriend was. One of the guys who was in your main group of tormentors. "Oh honey... a pretty girl like you shouldn't cry over trash like him. You are a solid 11/10, he doesn't deserve the tears," you said, taking another tissue, and drying her tears. Even though she was always so rude to you, you had to admit she was a beautiful girl. She had short back hair that was just above her shoulders, and beautiful brown eyes. She didn't like makeup, so she never wore it, so it made her beauty natural. She wasn't curvy, and made a lot of girls look up to her, as she was actually pretty flat chested. She was incredibly smart as well. All in all, she was simply a teenage girl that was attractive to most guys. And a part of you liked that she wasn't the normal beauty standard, because it was just so badass to you. She hadn't used her looks to get ahead either. She was just mean. You had always thought she was pretty, even if she was mean. "If he can't see how pretty you are, then he's not the one for you," you said. "W-why are you being so nice to me? I- I'm always so mean to you," she stuttered. You stopped to think for a second, and looked back at Niragi. He walked over to you, and stood besides you. "Ok... mm... 'M being nice to you 'cause... I wanna be. No one deserves to feel unwanted. And besides, my karma stays clean," you smiled. She laughed. Not a mocking laugh, not a rude laugh, not a fake laugh. You  told her some joke to make her feel better, and she started laughing even harder. Her real laugh, not the fake preppy laugh she always did. She snorted, and covered her mouth in embarrassment. "You should laugh like that more often. Your real laugh is so nice," you complemented. Yumi had always hated her laugh, as it wasn't the cute laugh that was described in books. But, then again, neither was yours. "Bye bye Yumi! Hope you feel better soon!" You shouted, waving back at her as you and Niragi left. She smiled to herself, waving back at you.

"I want to take a nap," you muttered as you got closer to your house. "You are something else, you know?"

"If... if I go with you right now, I don't think I'd be that helpful. I've only played in one game after all," you stated. Niragi thought for a moment. He'd talked about you, Chishiya would most certainly talk about you seeing as he would never bring someone from a game up unless they were interesting, and once you showed how you could play, he was sure you'd get a high rank. "I've got my ways. You coming with me, or not?" He asked, getting up.

"Yeah. I don't want to be alone again. Or at least without you again. That's 6 months of my life I didn't have my best friend you asshat."

"That wasn't my fault, I had no say in it!"

"Fuck you."

"This is a personal attack on my hp, you're lowering my health bar with your mean comments."

"Nerd."

"Bitch."

You two basically walked back to the beach like that. Most of the way, anyways. You two knew you meant none of the words, it was just your way of talking to each other. In a playful way.

He had taken you up to a room that had a table with chairs around. In there had been 5 people. One with long ish hair, sunglasses, and a colorful robe, another with tattoos covering his body, a woman with a white, sleeveless button up shirt with black shorts, a man dressed in a black tank top and what you would call 'drill Sargeant pants', and well, you knew the last one. "You little bastard!" You shouted, seeing his smirk. "Everyone, this is (L/N) (Y/N), the girl I told you about,'' Chishiya introduced you, ignoring your words. Niragi held your arm to keep you back from hurting Chishiya. He wanted to see it, but he also didn't want you to die. "Ah, lovely! We've heard about you. All good things, all good things," the man in the robe exclaimed. You smiled a bit, seeing as he seemed to be a person who was a fan of the theatrics. He seemed fun. "That's Hatter. The leader, as I told you earlier," Niragi whispered to you. You nodded. "That's the dissection freak, or Ann," he whispered again, nodding his head over to the woman with black hair."That's Aguni. He's the leader of the milital sect. So, basically, my boss," Niragi whispered again, pointing at him. "And that's Last Boss. We're sort of friends?" He whispered making a gesture to the man with tattoos.  "Ah... ok. So, these are all members of the militals?" You asked him quietly. "No, Ann and Chishiya are part of the executives. Aguni is leader of the militals. If you want to work with weapons, that's who you have to impress," Niragi explained. Chishiya had walked over in the time you'd been talking, and only got your attention by tapping your shoulder. You glared down at him. He looked you up and down. "Are you wearing heels, or are you just that tall?" He questioned. You stared down at him. "I'm just this tall?" You said confused. He hummed walking away. Niragi tried to keep his laughter in, and you immediately noticed. You flipped him off, and he acted offended. "So are you two... together?" Hatter asked, noticing you two were standing closely, you went knocked out or trying to kill Niragi. "Together? Like... a relationship? No. Friends? Yes," you said, grabbing his arm. 'Mhm... friends for now.' Ann thought. "We've heard from both Chishiya and Niragi that you're good with weapons?" Ann asked, keeping everyone on track. You nodded. "Which ones?" She asked

You took a big breath, beginning your list, "Knives, swords, bow and arrow, mace, guns I could go into which type if you would like, daggers, throwing knives, crossbow, and many many more but I don't want to bore you."

The room went quiet. "Well... um... that's quite the list. What games have you played in?" Hatter questioned. "Just one... the game with Chishiya," you said, looking down, playing with your- well, technically it was Niragi's, but you thought he was dead, so in your defense, you thought you would never feel the comfort of your best friend's hugs. "Ah, the five of spades, correct?" Hatter asked, more towards Chishiya than you. You both nodded. "Well, before anything, you must know the rules of the Beach. 1, you must wear a swimsuit," he started. "Woah, Woah woah, sorry to interrupt you, but um... why? And uh... he's not wearing one," you stated, pointing at Niragi. "Oi, don't throw me under the bus you dumb whore," he insulted with a smile. You know he didn't mean it in a rude way. Again, you two were best friends. "Sir, I have more blackmail on you than you can think of don't go there with me. For instance I caught you m-" you started, before Niragi put a hand over your mouth. "And that's enough from you. You were saying?" He said, directing his attention back to Hatter. "Uh... what was I saying? Oh yes, he's a milital and carries that gun around so he can't hide weapons. He has access to them, 2 all the cards you collect get handed into me, and 3 Death to the traitors," he finished. You licked Niragi's hand which was still over your mouth. He immediately took his hand off. "Ew! Disgusting!" He shouted, wiping his hand off. You laughed, and everyone else in the room smiled. Especially Hatter. He liked you already. Not in a creepy way, but he enjoyed that you weren't scared. "Anywho, alright. Swimsuit,cards to you, death to the traitors," you repeated. "Good girl," Chishiya said, a teasing tone obvious in his voice. "Tomorrow, you'll be going to a game with Aguni and An. They will decide your skills so we know where to put you. For know, I'm sure that Niragi wouldn't mind showing you to an empty room, and getting you changed into our 'uniform'," Hatter said. "By empty room, you mean she's staying with me until she gets her number, right?" Niragi asked. That's what he wanted, for you to stay with him. You two had almost 6 months of talking to catch up on. "Oki! Come on bubs, lead the way!" You shouted, grabbing his hand. He rolled his eyes, leading you out.

"I bet you guys anything they'll get together," Hatter stated after you two left. "Oh thank the gods I wasn't the only one who thought so," Ann breathed. You two had quite the overwhelming personalities. "I'm sure. She's a smart girl though. From what I saw, she's a potentially strong player for diamonds and hearts," Chishiya stated, watching the spot you had just stood at. "Oh, I think so too. Aguni, what do you think?" Hatter asked, turning his attention to his stoic friend. "We'll have to wait and see for tomorrow," he responded.

Anyways, this is on Wattpad and AO3 as well, I hope you're all having a lovely day/evening

#niragi suguru #niragi × reader #i think its good? #alice in borderland #please dont judge me ^_^ #100 Promises

[girlofthefandom]

Tales from the smp thoughts and random quotes I enjoy (essentially delayed live blogging) Part 1

I love all these npcs already

“Hurry up camera man!”

Yes! Gladiators! I remember seeing someone say that idea

Just some joes

Porkeous the 7th. Oh no I can see the fan girls now.

Yes! Punch em off!!

“Yeah same.”

“That’s good cause I don’t” “we build a new colosseum every time”

I can’t want to see the names of everyone’s characters. Especially Philz’

Stairs everyone’s worst enemy

Tubbo... sweet child

She disappeared!! Witch craft! Burn the witch!

Tubbo=Jacky (forced off streets)

Fundy=Laggius Maximus (I love this name so much with the spinning)

Please don’t kill both the boys in this fight. But also I’m cheating for Laggius.

Subbin Empire? Subbin to Technoblade!

Go Laggius! This is not going to go well... this is really not going to go well...

No I refuse to root for Jacky. I like Laggius the bit will be funnier later.

I want to know what happened to the last camera guy! Let us know!

Vertical feeling! Heaven forbid! Also look at them insulting TikTok

I love the background music. Feels magical.

A lovely jump

Surprises... well that’s ominous. And wait the first one!

Tower! Towers are always good.

We got our popcorn. Ready to watch this fight.

Laggius is... coming... maybe...

GG Jacky... he hasn’t won yet but gg.

Lava!!!! Hooray! Love us some good lava

Poor Laggius... he was burning too early

And Laggius is still lagging

Why isn’t Jacky burning?? He won???

Knocked unconscious in the lava. What is this a Pokémon game?

GG Jacky.

Nobody needs to know the way around here.

“Almost like a video game” just break that fourth wall right down

Keeps looking at sapnaps character and talking about strong. How sweet. We love some fiancé’s.

Please don’t throw Laggius to the wolves

Jack Manifold = Bartholomew

Phil having to translate. I love it.

Watson = Phil

Good pun. Very good pun.

Nobody likes Punz. Gosh everyone’s so mean

We love Watson. Let’s go Watson.

Bartholomew with the drugs and Watson.

Crazy drunk man with fire resistance

I agree with Watson why did we come to this cousin.

Sapnap in a hole

Also I love the drinking age being 3

Let’s go Watson!!!

Where are my Pom poms? I’ve got a Watson to cheer for.

Execute those architects.

And their first Borns.

Watson! Watson! Watson!

“Welcome to the land of the living Bartholomew.”

I love the slow fight.

Come on Watson shoot em!

Oh no. Oh no. Come on Watson. You’re so close!

Noooooooooo.

Why Bartholomew???? I can’t spell that! I’ve been relying on autocorrect this whole time.

Watson would be so much easier to spell.

Still must go down the stairs.

Speed running life. That’s what I do.

No one dies. Just take them to nurse joy.

Poor Punz being so bullied

Punz=Levi

Levi? Really? Oh well I like the name. He won’t like but I like the name.

Also why does Levi have such a full backstory.

Has weapon hands with a horrible southern accent. I love it.

“Hmmm”

Who is Ol’ Sap?

Sapnap = John

And no creativity apparently.

Laggius had the best name for a gladiator. All the others are too boring.

Why are we beating up BBH

Hannah=Genevieve

Genevieve! I can spell that thanks to old Barbie movies!!

Go Genevieve! Trained her life! I love this woman!

Mostly women upstairs. I love it our fandom is so biased.

“Are you sure about that?”

Darlin? Really that’s not the right word.

Go Genevieve! I probably shouldn’t cheer for her since everyone I’ve cheered for has lost.

But still GO GENEVIEVE!!

Our empire is millions in dept

Let’s step up the battle! Let’s gooooo

“Ayyyyy!!!”

Go Genevieve! Levi hush up with your gills.

Jump in! Splish Splash!

Wait why are we listening to Mario Kart music? Wait I recognize this song.

Go Genevieve!!

YES FINALLY! I PICKED THE WINNER!

Levi hush. You done lost messed up southern boi.

Go Genevieve! I can actually spell your name!

I straight forgot Porkeous the 7ths name for a second and had to check my notes.

Stairs. Woop de doo.

“Pick the most handsome” wow

Ol’ Sap = John as I remember. And he’s sticking with it. Bold man sticking with it.

Ranboo = Ran

Just Ran and it’s just the enderman part of the skin. Haha. Very funny.

BBH = Edward

He went from strange voice to normal(ish) voice

I don’t like Edwards speech pattern. At the very least. Yucky.

John v. Edward letsa go

Go John!

Wait we renaming? This is going to get confusing.

Handsome. Can you two quit flirting (not really keeping going)

Alrighty then Ugly v. Edward

Go Ugly! (Sentence I never expected to type)

The seat thing

And saying king Julien. Sigh.

Just BRB real quick.

Thinking about buying things. Oh he meant ad.

Alright Ad 1/3 let’s go.

No I can’t even open chat to watch them instead of the ad. Boooo.

2/3 let’s get this done!

3/3

Snickers just loading for forever

Alrighty we survived.

And a crown really? Just wants his normal skin back.

Let’s go Ugly!

Bo-at battle! Let’s go!

Please don’t shoot Ugly.

Go Ugly!

“King Are you ok!”

I still hate Edwards speech pattern so much

Please. Just pretend to have a fair fight.

The rabbits???? Cant rabbits swim?

Hooray rabbits! I don’t what purpose they serve but I love them.

Edward or Edwardo? Did I miss something?

Ok it seems both.

Shooting a rabbit? Disowner on you disowner on your cow.

Killing pets reference? The references are so good.

YES UGLY!!!! Thank heavens!

I’m 2/4 for choosing the winner.

I hope ugly keeps on winning

“Colosseum Remote Control”

3 in 1 battle how did they not plan correctly for an even number

Nerds hold cameras you heard it here folks

I don’t want to hear deeper for some of these stories. All I want to see is Genevieves further story. She seems deep.

“Massive pigs growling at us. No offense”

Watson trying to clean the table.

We bringing in the Harmonika.

Harmonika fits the moment.

Yes name him handsome! Haha

Grievous is how I’m spelling that stupid sounding name. But it’s better than John and ugly.

I can’t get over the name Ran.

BE GONE LEVI!

I love Watson having to take care of Bartholomew. Translating for him and waking him up.

Phil just can’t resist playing the dad.

No no stopping just fighting.

Also I love Watson saying break it up. I wish Watson had won.

Genevieve sounds like such a lovely lady and she deserves to win.

As much as I love Grevious I want Genevieve to win.

Sapnap=Grevious good gracious this is hard to follow.

Ran is cool. I’m going to kill over listening to them just saying Ran.

Complicated backstory. Found the main character.

Ran is cool.

Wait this place is going down??? Pardon me???

Three person fight is...

Grevious v. Ran v. Bartholomew

Genevieve v. Jacky

Puns! Let’s go! And of course Levi likes Puns.

Everyone is so mean.

GO GENEVIEVE!

And Watson just babysitting Bartholomew

I’m going to get good at spelling Bartholomew. Because I was horrible at it before.

Empire of women!

Cages=Lava

“Mmm what smells good”

Battle star!!

“Boing Boing Boing”

Water dome?

Water Dome in Lava?

Well he tried zombies/bunnies

Lava in the water sphere?

Only fight at top of fishbowl got it.

GO GENEVIEVE!

Come on girl you’ve got this!

No Genevieve babe please don’t lose.

“The boats going down.” “It’s yelling timber.” “Like that song that hasn’t been made yet.”

Hurry up and die. I love it.

NO GENEVIEVE!!!!!

Do do do do

That was a longer fight. But pretty good.

To the cellars! Not to the cellars!

No! The boat is gone!

That was close.

This feels like a funky Pokémon game.

Jacky is a finalist! Good for him. I’m not cheering for him but good for him.

TRIANGLE FORMATION

Who’s missing? Oh wait it’s Bartholomew

“Intense prison cosmetic surgery”

Rabbits! We love rabbits.

Oh no faceplant mode!

What is even happening?!?!

Thinking creatively.

Just don’t die. What a game.

Cant wait to watch the thinking creatively animatic.

In a boat to avoid floating.

Attack!

Go Ran!

Oh we’re lagging.

Disable the dive mode!

The zombies are a bit much. Oh everyone’s actually fighting.

Rats why weren’t there baby zombies when Watson was going. They even made a Phil reference.

No treaties.

Go Ran! Keep on running away.

I love Ran.

GO RAN! I love Grevious. But GO RAN

Faster Zombies. Zombies go zoom.

Oh Grevious won.

Wait why does Ran have grass and why do they see him again.

Placing more dirt to clean old dirt.

Poor Grevious.

I feel sorry for him now.

Stand on da dirt.

Put the rabbits in the cages!!!!

I cheer for Grevious.

And yes there are many a loser.

Everything is so spicy. As in lava is there.

You can’t kick your fiancé’s future descendent out of the gang.

A full inventory

Watson with the backup button!

Seriously all he can do is be a dad.

OH BOY LAGGIOUS IS BACK!

And he’s here for the picture.

And Watson is (still) bullying him!

Bartholomew is pure trouble.

Ooops. The root beer was on the brain.

Watson! Come get your drunk!

Oh wait he actually did! I love this so much.

Petition for more Phil in Tales.

Only Genevieve voting for Jacky

Some people refusing to vote.

I’m sorry who asked if Laggius is ok.

He is always (not) ok

He is fine. See.

I love Laggius’ character the most.

Go winners!

Reformed kinda. If that doesn’t sum up the whole of the smp.

All the grass in the cage.

And Laggius being his slow self.

Nothing v. General

I love how it went from King to Emperor to King

And there is Laggius.

I don’t know how anyone else is spelling Laggius but I like this way and refuse to edit it if it actually spelled different.

Oh we’re getting more ads.

1/3 let’s go

#tales from the smp #tftsmp #dreamsmp #dsmp #delayed liveblogging

[erikthedead]

entry #4

Started reading FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY’s ‘Notes from the Underground,’ and I just got into the second half of him rambling and reflecting on his behaviour in detail. I never would have thought a Russian man from the 19th century would make me feel a little bit less alone in this world (or at least the ‘character’ delivering the narrative). Yet the more I read about what goes on in peoples’ heads the less insane I feel, or at least comforted by realising that everyone is a little bit insane, as long as they’re being honest. Should that be comforting? I feel like that should actually be disturbing, but I kinda like being disturbed. The bit that struck me to get writing about myself was how he recurringly mentions this need to be seen and heard and be a noble member of society, but flip flops between that and a state of isolating himself and being a recluse, ashamed by how his own face looks. I hope I’m interpreting it right, as I’m not so sure I’m smart enough to fully understand everything the man was trying to convey. The whole thing reads as him trying to make sense of himself, if anything. But if I am right in that, I can totally relate, and it causes me much distress as it seemed to have tormented him too.  His way was to throw himself into busy streets and bars, never feeling comfortable with it from what I’ve read, and possibly did it on purpose to feel uncomfortable, because he was getting bored with the current discomfort of isolating himself in his room with his books. That’s the interesting thing about it, he never once says he ‘leaves the comfort’ of his own home, like you’ll hear many well-adjusted introverts say. People who are content on their own. He obviously wasn’t content, he was bored, sick of his own brain, he tells us how he would break down into tearful fits from some sort of mental anguish that he tried to escape from through consumption of literature. I do exactly the same thing with media of all kinds, not because I ENJOY spending time with myself and my things, but because it helps me COPE with it. I am so envious of consistently introverted people who relish in their alone time. That SHOULD BE ME. All the same, it annoys me to death when someone complains about being ‘stuck in the house’ all day when they want to go out and mingle and see the world, because that is too exhausting a thing to wish for compared to creature comforts and solitude, surely. Both of them irritate me because I’m jealous of their seemingly consistent understanding of themselves, their desires and what makes them content on a regular, general basis. I’ve been trying to hard to figure out my own. I’m twenty-six now, yet I still feel juvenile as hell. I still feel like a child that goes up to the next thing that catches its eye and wants to ask, ‘can I have a go?’ And of course, to an innocent child, you let them have a go, without any expectations. You don’t get that luxury as an adult. You are expected to choose, commit, KNOW what you want. But again, I can’t help but think this isn’t me being special, that everyone probably feels this way, you certainly hear it from a lot of old people who humbly state that they are still always learning and discovering new things. Then again maybe they miss the point. Discovering things is fine, all the time. Learning is appreciated and encouraged. But actually changing or choosing not to change (both can be bad, right?), that is unsettling. We’ve given up good and evil for behaviourism and yet still people like me, Fyodor and to name a few other people I relate to when I read their autobiographies, Russell Brand, Stephen Fry, Steve-O (oh yes I compare myself to the greats, in all my unheard mighty feats), people like us can’t even get that right. Creative, expressive, bipolar people. People with big heads and sensitive souls, I’d say. Although I connect deeply to people like this I’d never want to be around them for too long. I know their torment and quite frankly my own is enough to contend with. There is a feeling of ‘pay attention to me but leave me alone.’ ‘Love me more than anything but don’t care too much about me because I’m bound to hurt you or make a fool of myself.’ Actually, in Notes from the Underground, Fyodor talks about man’s unconscious desire to smash up something he has been building, because he is unconsciously terrified of what to do what he has completed it, and Brand actually mentions this quite a bit in his Bookywooks. How he’d personally reach a level of fame and notoriety but then sabotage it, fearing the peak or what comes after – the come down. I hope I’ve interpreted these guys correctly, because it does make sense to me. The only thing that really sets me aside from these guys is my utter lack of ambition. At least in these peoples’ hypomanic states they were achieving something. What do I do? I’m the classic, slightly mentally ill underachiever that never sticks to anything. The sheer magnitude of my unconscientiousness could be used as an example of how not to be during a Jordan Peterson lecture. My downfalls were not self-sabotages, conscious or unconscious for the first half of my life. The rest you can blame on me, that’s fair enough, but puberty hit me early and like a train, and all that meant was I was spotty and got a bullied a bit, but that didn’t excuse me from performing well in my exams and essays. I was predicted to come out with some of the top grades in the whole school. I even started finding my confidence and standing up for myself to bullies after a few years adjusting to adolescence. Then my mother died suddenly one night from an overdose when I was fourteen, and my whole world flipped upside down. Like an anime main character backstory right there. It wasn’t perfect beforehand, anyone who knows my whole childhood situation will agree, but I had a bloody good chance up until she died. After that, I became nihilistic, rebellious, promiscuous and generally self-destructive. ‘How would your mother feel if she could see you now? She wouldn’t have wanted this.’ Oh how I wish I slapped anyone that said this to me. How dare they even try to assume what she would have wanted, having never known her. Of course, I said it to myself all the time, I still do sometimes, but I have that right. The rest of you don’t. Hah, rights. What a joke, even as I try to be dominant through typing to imaginary figments of the past and the future, I’m not even convincing myself.

The inconsistency, of my desires, my attitudes, my cognitions, my emotions and ultimately my behaviour is what pains me. I would rather be a complete abolition that was sure in himself than be like this. What’s even more frustrating is that it’s not that uncommon for people to be like me in that sense, but they just go with the flow with it, seemingly unaware of their inconsistency, and become incredibly defensive when you point it out. It’s understandable, I get defensive with myself, which could be an early sign of schizophrenia, who knows, time will tell. At the moment though I am without doubt an anxious, depressive, inconsistent muddled mess of a person, and even the HOPE for my future self comes and goes in powerful forms. I have the grandiose fantasies of being interviewed by people because I’m just that interesting and my achievements are that remarkable, and I also have the sheer terror while preparing to talk to the shop assistant when I’m buying something. Oh yeah, buying things, that’s a tricky one for me an’ all! The trick with me is not to give me too much choice, because if I have I will never decide, or I will make a silly last minute decision or pick the third thing after debating with myself for ten minutes between choosing from the first and the second. Not only indecisiveness, but impulsiveness plagues me. Not just buying things I don’t need, or don’t even want yet because I haven’t finished the last thing, but even charitably so. I saw a stranger E-begging by chance and decided to send him money. I have no idea why. Am I just a good person? I don’t have enough money for myself, and even if I do have some to spare, that should go to others who have helped me financially before a stranger on the internet. Maybe I’m not a good person, and I just did it to cleanse myself of some feeling of shame or guilt for wasting money on myself. As well as the positive fantasies of my future where I am destined to greatness through nothing other than my own conviction and virtues, I have the other vision in the crystal ball that shows myself destitute and addicted to hard drugs, homeless or institutionalised, ultimately suicided. Addiction and suicide run through my veins afterall, and I’ve been close to becoming the 3rd generation of my bloodline to go out by my own hand. The decently sized scar on my arm from a self-inflicted slash that was intended for my neck, that nearly severed my nerves and would have left me with a malfunctioning left hand had I gone any deeper. Sometimes I look at it and feel ashamed for doing it, for trying to throw away my beautiful, special life, and other times I look at it and feel ashamed for missing my real target, my consciousness. I battle with my consciousness a lot, I try to minimise it through drink and drugs or healthy mental exercises, distract it with my media, sublimate it through writing and drawing, but rarely do I get peace from it. Then other times, I count my blessings and praise the universe for bestowing onto me just the ability to think and feel and be a person. Neither approach to life is crazy to me, what’s crazy to me is not being able to bloody pick one and settle on it for more than a couple of days at a time. Like Fyodor describes his character going out into a busy bustling area in his urges to be part of society after a stint of isolation, I will go out some weekends and do the same, but that’s only a more recent, probably more healthy advance in my development than what I have been doing for a long time which is going online to provoke and debate people with my thoughts and opinions, and sometimes cheeky insults. I really resent when people who know me call it ‘trolling’ when I go off on these episodes. Trolling to me is when you put something out there that you don’t actually stand by, but you know will get a reaction out of people because you’re bored and want to mess with people. Now fair enough, there’s a lot to be said for that last part, but I have no reason to say things I don’t really think/feel/believe when the things I say genuinely are enough to upset people on their own, things I sincerely believe are correct. I’ll feel ever so right and convicted during these online tirades, then the next day want to delete all my social media and wipe my name from the planetary database. Perhaps I could just delete my existence while I’m at it. Seems like my self-doubt and my self-assuredness play equal part in my misery, because like everything else, I can’t choose one. The same happens if I go out and meet new people on the weekend, I’ll exchange numbers and add people with all intention of meeting up in the future, only to ghost them afterwards. I don’t know why.

#rambling #4 #entry #entry 4 #four

[knittingdreams]

Fireheart - Chapter 8

Okay, let’s quickly give you all the links to the previous chapter while I *cof cof* work on a *cof* masterlist :D

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7

If you’re new to this story, Fireheart is a HS AU from the TOG saga. (I love and hate abbreviations so much, lol) It’s centered around Celaena joining High School when she’s 17, to try and find clues on who killed her parents. 

Sam (my baby, my love, my little beam) has a lot of protagonism in this story, and you’ll see his POV quiet often (like on this chapter, yayyy)

WARING: Almost every chapter will have physical violence and blood. I will do my best to remember and add other pertinent warnings on each chapter (sorry if I don’t, I’m still pretty new to publishing my work and sometimes forget about this things. Don’t hesitate to let me know if I forget, so I can make sure to add them up and save any readers a bad time, which is the last thing I want <3 I want my writing to entertain you, sometimes to break your heart a little, but only to fill it back up with mushy feelings afterwards n_n)

On the last chapter.... We left Celaena in the office, the door knob slowly twisting....

CHAPTER 8

A thanks would do

The dance floor was still packed, the same as it had been since the start of the night. People came and went, but the crowd never diminished. Sam had been dancing to the side of the room for a while, trying to talk with as many people as possible while keeping an eye on Celaena. He hadn’t been surprised when he saw her walking up the marble stairs, and had made sure to start a counter on his wristwatch. 

It was sitting on eleven minutes when Sam started to get fidgety and walked closer to the stairs’ landing while dancing with a girl called Ansel. She was so incredibly full of energy; Sam was almost struggling to keep up. 

“This party is lit!” The girl said as she raised her arms in the air and started spinning around in circles.

Sam used the distraction to leave the girl behind and move closer to the stair, casually lingering around the landing while fake sipping from an empty plastic cup. By the twelfth minute Chaol Westfall, the one he had learned to be Dorian’s best friend, headed up the stairs. He waited until the guy was almost to the top before he rushed up on silent feet. The staircase ended up in a long hallway stretching to the right, and a dead-end to the left. Sam peeked through the corner, watching Chaol walk halfway across the hallway and stop in front of a door. His hand sat on the knob for a moment before he looked to the side, towards the end of the hall, and kept walking.

“For fucks sake,” Sam murmured under his breath.

He tiptoed the first half of the hallway and once he was there, Chaol’s hand on the knob of the last door, he purposely tripped with the carpet and cursed out loud. Chaol almost jumped up as he turned around, his brows tightly knit together.

“What are you doing here?” The student president asked in a stern voice.

“So- So sorry, mate,” Sam half slurred. “They-Someone… told me there was a- agh- toilet up here,” he finished as he scratched the back of his neck, holding himself against the wall with one hand.

“You shouldn’t be up here,” Chaol said as he walked towards him. “There’s a bathroom downstairs you can use.”

“There was a - agh - really long - que… queue,” he finished as he stretched an arm and rested it on Chaol’s shoulder for extra support. “I’m really... busting.”

“Come here, I’ll show you the way to the secret bathroom out back, Dorian will kill you if you puke up here,” he continued. “He will get the place professionally cleaned up before his father is back in town, but still, he hates when people sneak up.” Chaol kept talking almost to himself as he walked Sam down the hall and towards the stairs. 

Sam looked back just in time to see Celaena peeking through the door before they turned the corner.

“You owe me,” he said under his breath, low enough for his voice to be lost under the music that was already reaching them from below.

***

All everybody was talking about on Monday morning was how amazing Dorian’s party had been. But all Sam could think about, was how close of a call it had been. He was sure Celaena had a plan B and could have gotten out of it, but any kind of suspicion could have ruined her plan. They were lucky no one had found anything out, and Celaena had shown back in the middle of the dance floor minutes later, dancing around as if she had never left.

He hadn't told Arobynn about the incident, he was too scared he would have scolded Celaena for being careless and almost getting caught. He was risking his neck by keeping that information to himself, but it was worth the risk. And obviously, Celaena hadn’t thanked him for the help. She hadn’t even spoken a word to him since the party.

Once lunchtime came over, Sam was feeling restless after thinking for so long. He needed something to do, he was probably just not used to the quietness. He had had a really busy weekend training for the fights to come, and sitting still wasn’t resonating with him. The tournament was set to start in a month, but he had a fight on the weekend to win his place in the competition, which meant he had trained hard, his muscles still aching from the strain he had caused his body.

He looked up at Celaena, who was eating her lunch with the exchange student again before he decided to go for a walk. He hung his bag from his shoulder and started circulating the hallways, pretending to be mindlessly walking while he tried to catch on anything unusual. He hadn’t studied the building as much as Celaena had, and he was always glad for any spare time to get to know the place better.

The halls were almost deserted and fairly quiet, which was probably why he heard the soft sobs coming from one of the classrooms. He headed straight towards the sound, opening the door slowly and finding a girl with her head hidden between her arms. All he could see was a mass of dark brown hair spilled onto the desktop. 

“Are you okay?” He asked as he approached the crying girl, carefully placing a hand on her forearm.

As the girl looked up, her emerald eyes made Sam’s gut twist at the sadness behind them. Her eyes were red-rimmed, with tears pooling in the corners. She looked puzzled for a moment, as if unsure of what to say.

“I’ll be alright,” she said in a small voice. “Just… leave me alone, I didn’t think anybody would find me here.” She turned around, hiding her face between her arms again.

Unsure of how to proceed, Sam sat on the floor next to her, his legs crossed.

“I think I’ll stick around in case you want to talk to someone, I promise I won’t bother you, but you shouldn’t be alone while you’re in pain,” he said. “I’ll be quiet,” he added.

She looked down at him with fresh tears running down her cheeks. “Why would you do this? You don’t even know me,” she said between quiet sobs.

“I don’t need to know you in order to care, Lysandra,” he said. She didn’t seem surprised that he knew her name, but why would she? Everybody in school knew who she was.

“Sorry, I don’t even know your name,” she said as she wiped her tears and tried to smile a little.

“I’m Sam, Sam Cortland.” He extended his hand, and Lysandra shook it with a chuckle.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“You’re distressed, I know I would like someone to be by my side if I was in your position, so here I am. I can listen to what’s troubling you, or I can just sit here in silence. If you like it better, we can chat about the weather or any other non-important matters to keep your mind off whatever is troubling you,” he offered.

Lysandra wiped the remaining tears with the palm of her hand, seeming calmer after Sam’s little monologue. She took out a small mirror from her bag and opened it up. 

“Don’t think I’m superficial, but I rather people not notice I’ve been crying,” she explained as she fixed her makeup, adding some mascara and then concealer under her eyes.

“Here, look at me,” Sam said as he pushed her chin lightly to make her look his way. “Hmmm, I can’t even tell, your eyes look brighter if that’s even possible, but you look as good as you do every day,” he concluded with a smile as he let go of her chin and stood up, offering her a hand. “Would you like to head back to the cafeteria?”

Lysandra accepted his hand to get to her feet but shook her head in denial. She smiled warmly at him for a moment, and then looked down to her feet.

“That would only lead to trouble, and the bell is probably about to ring. I’ll head straight to my next class, but thank you, Sam Cortland,” she looked up as she said his name, and started to walk towards the door.

“I’m always here to help,” Sam said as he followed her towards the door.

Lysandra walked through the threshold and turned left almost at the same time that Sam went out the door barely a step behind her, and turned the other direction. He was watching the girl walk away, and didn’t notice the small group of people coming back from the cafeteria already, making him bump straight into someone’s chest.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he took a step back and looked up.

“Look where you’re going, you fucking newby!” The guy he had bumped into said. Sam took an extra step back, feeling the angry energy that was emanating from the guy. He knew his kind, and he could tell anything he said would be used as an excuse to start a fight. 

There were already a few curious eyes looking their way, making him confirm his suspicions that the guy meant trouble.

“Sorry mate, my bad,” Sam said with his palms raised, trying to look smaller than he was as he rounded his shoulders inwards.

The guy standing in front of him took a step forward. He wasn’t taller than Sam, maybe even an inch shorter, but as the guy cracked his knuckles, Sam realized he wasn’t alone. Two taller guys were towering behind the first one, keeping watch.

“What were you doing, getting out of a room with a taken girl?” The bully said loud enough for the whole hall to hear as he pointed at Lysandra as if looking for an excuse to get mad at him. Sam looked over his shoulder and found the girl frozen in place only a few steps behind him.

“Leave her out of this,” Sam said, taking a protective step forward. “She’s got nothing to do with whatever is going on here.” He pointed to the narrow gap in between them. 

The guy closed that gap, grabbing a fist full of Sam’s shirt by its collar. He ran his other hand through his short black hair as a chuckle escaped his lips and his equally dark eyes bored into Sam’s golden ones. 

“What is going on here, is that you're about to get a black eye for being a smart ass,” he spat on his face.

“Look, mate,” Sam said with his hands still lifted in front of him, showing his palms. “I don’t even know you, sorry I bumped into you. Now, let’s just be mature about this and move on.” He smiled then, and he knew straight away that was the wrong thing to do. He knew the type all too well, the guy in front of him was going to have his head just for existing, just because he could feel a different vibe coming out of him; just because he felt threatened. 

He wished he could explain he was no competition to him.

“I’m Rourke,” the guy said with a grin. “And now that we know each other, junior, let’s teach you a lesson.”

Before Sam could even blink, Rourke’s fist collided against his jaw.

I’m so sorry my baby bean Sam T_T I love you! <3

Isn’t he the most adorable thing?? <3

#throne of glass fanfic #tog fanfic #tog fandom #throne of glass #sam cortland #celaena #chapter eight #fireheart