#I'm not saying which side I am until the end of the poll I need this to remain a pure poll | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

auroraescritora · 6 months

Text

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER XIV

In this chapter we have a super 18+ scene. It's a gift for the delay in updating the story. And while I'm on this subject, I'd like to know what you guys think about something. Like, technically, I should indicate that the blog is for adults, which would hide it behind that annoying warning and consider me a sex bot, you know? If someone reports me, the blog will be deleted. So, should I continue with the +18 scenes here or put them somewhere else? I've already put up a poll in the Portuguese version, but I'd like your opinion too.

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI / CHAPTER VII / CHAPTER VIII / CHAPTER IX / CHAPTER X / CHAPTER XI / CHAPTER XII / CHAPTER XIII

Percy learned something very interesting these last few days. He had found out the right way to have a happy ending, both between Nico's legs and in the heart of his beautiful baby. The secret to satisfying Nico was doing the right thing, at the right time and at the right pace. If he took things slowly at first, treated him with affection and made Nico relax, the chances of him getting everything he wanted and going much deeper than that were high. Honestly? Percy didn't think someone so innocent in everything he did could have such an uninhibited side behind four walls. The funny thing was seeing the rare moments where Nico remembered that he shouldn't act like that, feeling embarrassed, only to have Nico open his legs the next moment, asking for more.

“You've been a naughty boy today. You deserve a punishment. My boy remember what I said earlier today?’’

“Hmm… that you would let me cum?'' Nico tried, hopeful.

“No. I said, I would make you beg.’’

''Oh.'' That's all Nico said before being thrown onto the bed and his pants being ripped off him.

But Percy did everything with care. He took off Nico's sneakers, pulled his pants down along with his underwear and enjoyed the moment; it wasn't often that Nico let him see all that exposed skin. He stroked Nico's long legs and kissed them slowly, nibbling where he went, tortuously slow in his touches, moving up and up, finally reaching Nico's groin and lingering there, massaging the junction of his legs with his pelvis and touching Nico's member, then, he heard a whimper.

''What's wrong, baby?’’

''You… you‘re torturing me!’’

“Am I?’’

“Hmmm.'' Nico nodded, bringing his hands to his own face, like he was trying to hide it, and ended up biting his fingers just as Percy looked at him, seeing Nico’s face flushed and his eyes almost closing with sleep, holding back the next moan. Percy had to admit, he was in the mood to do exactly what Nico accused him of doing. So, he ignored Nico's erect member and went a little lower, stroking his entrance, rubbing in soft, delicate circles, until it opened up like a flower for him, pulsing against his fingers.

But Percy didn't push right all the way like Nico wanted. No, he kept rubbing and rubbing, watching Nico open and close for long moments, hearing the sweet moans that his baby couldn't contain inside himself.

''Percy!’’

“What it that?’’

''I…’’

''Yeah?’’

''I need you! Inside of me!’’

''Oh, no. Don't cry. We haven't even started yet.’’

“T-thank you.'' Nico whispered, all tearful, and leaned towards him, grabbing his shirt, begging sweetly, his big black eyes looking at him so desperately and frustrated that Percy took pity, although only now Percy was recalling their deal. If Nico didn't know what to say and wanted to continue, he would say “Thank you” and when it felt good and still Nico wanted to stop, he would say “Please”.

‘So sweet’ Percy thought. He would make everything better. So, Percy pulled Nico against his chest and comforted him, kissing his hair, mumbling:

''There, there. It's already gone. See? All good.’’

''I… I wanted…’’

''I know what you want.’’

With Nico in his arms, Percy turned to the side and opened the first drawer on the bedside table and took out a tube of lub. He put some on his fingers, warming the gel in his hand, and brought his fingers to Nico's entrance. Exactly as before, Nico moaned sweetly and threw his head back when Percy rubbed around Nico's hole, feeling Nico melt like butter in his arms, surrendering to the sensations he felt.

Percy couldn't help the heat that spread in his chest, both from pleasure and affection, but from lust too, that feeling that made him forget everything and encouraged him to take everything he wanted.

''Is this what you wanted, beautiful? For me to fuck you at my parents' house?’’

Percy tried to be as delicate as possible, as delicate as his pleasure-drunk mind would allow. And He had to admit, it wasn't enough for him, it never would be, because, deep down, he knew this wasn't the way he should treat his baby. If Percy had his head on straight, he would never do this, but something inside him dominated his body, making him act the way he never thought he would.

The truth was, since Nico’s return, he wasn’t acting like himself, he wasn’t behaving like Nico deserved. But, in the end, care and kindness wasn't what he wanted and it wasn't what Nico wanted either. Percy wasn't proud of himself; the next thing he knew, he had three fingers inside Nico, opening him slowly, but eagerly and more deeply than he had done in the past. Percy had to stop for a moment and take a deep breath, he had promised that he wouldn't let his feelings get in the way of his relationship with Nico. What could he do if Nico became even more beautiful, moaning with his back bent, about to come while he just kept playing with Nico's body, discovering the places that made him moan, and what made him cry with pleasure, or even that little place that was making Nico scream, shaking from head to toe?

That's why Percy forced himself to take his fingers out of Nico and take a deep breath. It wasn't right to treat him like a plastic doll, a little toy he could use and then put away in a box.

''Baby? All good?'' Percy forced himself to see through the haze of lust and see his baby and not… a lover where he could satisfy all his desires.

Percy watched in slow motion Nico opening his eyes, unfocused and dilated, breathing as deeply as he had done, looking confused.

''No... ah... don't stop... I... thank you.'' Nico said in the softest and sweetest voice Percy had ever heard, all obedient and happy, smiling dreamy, saying: “I'm so drunk.”

And then, Nico was laughing, looking more stoned than any drink could make him, putting his arms around Percy’s neck and kissing him softly.

Percy couldn't blame him, he felt as high as Nico seemed to be, but what Percy hadn't noticed until that moment were the tears that were flowing, seeping from Nico's eyes that, in addition to being unfocused, were also teary;his dark skin warm to the touch, marred by invisible lines. Why did Percy know this? He had to raise his hand and wipe Nico's face, sliding them until he held Nico by the back of his head and neck, keeping them there, buried in Nico's hair. And Nico? Well, he just moaned, letting Percy lean him closer to him, and spread his legs wider, offering himself to Percy.

Percy didn't want to think about this, this… show of submission. That made something inside him wake up, something Percy was ashamed to admit he had inside him. But… he looked down and saw that Nico had cum at some point. They should stop, right? So, why was Percy unzipping his own pants and applying lube to his own cock?

Percy grunted when he felt the tip of his member's head come into contact with Nico's entrance. They should use condoms, shouldn't they? But he knew Nico was a virgin before he fucked him, which Percy knew was just another excuse for his endorphin-filled brain not to force him to stop. But, Nico had asked, hadn't he?

He didn't hesitate any longer, Percy grabbed Nico by the waist and pulled him against his member, letting gravity do its work. It was an out-of-body experience seeing Nico's small, tight little hole, accommodate his size, watching him go down slowly, taking him in inch by inch, seeing his member disappear inside Nico with almost no effort at all, now hearing the high-pitched moans and gasps against his ear, chest against chest, feeling Nico hug him tightly around the neck and wrap his legs around his waist, bouncing around in his lap so deliciously that for a moment Percy found himself without reaction, only able to gasp against his baby's black hair, helping him in any way he could.

Then, Nico let out a long, breathy moan against his neck and bit him hard, stopping moving immediately, squeezing him so hard that Percy didn't know how he hadn't come at that very moment. Yet, knowing Nico had just cum, Percy didn't have enough strength to stop, but he didn’t try to move either. So, he waited, staying in that same position for long moments, sitting motionless on the bed, thinking that maybe Nico had fallen asleep, or that Nico didn't want to continue anymore. That was the moment when Percy heard a sly little moan and felt Nico move, just a little, rotating his hips, as if trying to find a better position. And Percy, like the gentleman that he was, helped him. Still holding Nico's waist, he moved him a little to the right and then forward, finding a more comfortable angle.

Yes! Percy thought he had found it, feeling Nico squeeze him tightly and whimper like he was dying.

''Is it here? Like this? Feels good?’’

''Ah… ah… thank you!'' Nico squirmed and forced himself against him, hugging Percy tightly again. And since Nico was so determined to kill them with pleasure, it was the best way Percy could die.

Percy held Nico's hips tighter and, almost immobilizing him, pulled him up and then took him down, slowly and deliciously, feeling Nico squeeze him so hard it almost hurt.

''Baby, you gotta relax, hm? Take a deep breath for me.’’

Nico did, because he was the best boy in the world, and let himself fall onto his chest, relaxing with his head resting on his shoulders.

Ah, that was much better, because, suddenly, his member was sliding in and out of Nico without any effort, Nico moaning shamelessly with his head thrown back. Percy watched for a moment as Nico gave himself to him without any fear and forgot about himself, regretting that he had almost lost Nico forever.

''Do you want to cum?'' Percy asked, feeling himself float away.

''Per… I… ah! I don't know!'' And again, in the sweetest voice, but now panting and desperate, Nico opened those black eyes and pleaded with his gaze, something that Nico himself seemed to not know what it was.

Percy didn't really know what he was doing, but if Nico wanted it, he would make it come true.

''Touch yourself.’’

''W-what?'' Nico asked without understanding.

''I want you to touch yourself.’’

Percy then held one of Nico's hands and took it between their bodies where Nico's member was erect once again.

''I want to see.'' Percy repeated and waited to see what Nico would do.

Nico blinked slowly at him and, still looking uncertain and stoned, wrapped his fingers around himself, beginning to slide his hand up and down, in the most delicate, gentle touch Percy had ever seen. He did nothing but watch Nico touch himself with him still inside Nico, feeling Nico pulse and squeeze him rhythmically for a few short minutes.

It didn't take long, as slowly and gently as Nico had started, Nico came, with long strokes and even sweeter moans. And this time Percy saw Nico ejaculating, the small member twitching and finally releasing the last drops until Nico stopped moving his hand and looked at Percy, blinking slowly and breathing quickly, as if waiting for the next order.

That was a slightly strange and wonderfully extraordinary moment for Percy. He was content to just watch Nico's pleasure and let his erection go away on its own. The fact is that Nico was still looking at him, still looking uncertain and honestly confused.

''Aren't you going to cum?'' Nico asked him, and Percy almost laughed, thinking he was going crazy.

“What do you suggest, hm?’’

“Oh.'' Nico murmured, tilting his head and gently placing his hands on Percy's shoulders. ''Can I decide?’’

“Sure.’’ Percy shrugged, why not?

The surprise came immediately; Nico lifted his hips, moaning softly and let Percy's member slip away from him. Soon after, Nico knelt on the bed, sat between Percy's spread legs and holding the base, kissed the head for long moments. He licked and sucked without rushing to finally suck it whole, starting a light suction, in the most beautiful and erotic sight that Percy had ever had the pleasure of witnessing, thinking that this would be the fastest orgasm of his life.

Nico started to move his hands too and suddenly, his member was sliding into Nico's throat. What finally made him cum was when Nico swallowed around him and gasped, choking slightly. And again, Percy had no reaction other than leaning on the bed and throwing his head back, moaning for a long time. Surprising him again, Percy watched as Nico continued to suck him, now so gently he could barely feel it, only sliding away when Nico was sure Percy had finished, finally softening against his lips. It was as if a new world had opened up right in front of Percy's eyes; he didn't know that someone sucking his cock could rock his world like that. But, of course, Nico wasn't just anyone and no one but Nico could cause these feelings in him.

''Per?'' He heard Nico's small voice call him. Percy opened his eyes and realized that he still had his head thrown back and was staring at the ceiling. It was difficult to even open his mouth.

''Hmm?’’

''I… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…’’

He didn’t mean what? Percy wanted to laugh in hysteria and pleasure.

Content and truly satisfied, Percy finally gathered the strength to move and sat down on the bed, seeing that Nico was still between his legs. The funny thing is that Nico didn't look happy, looking like he would burst into tears at any moment.

''What's wrong, baby?’’

''I hurt you.’’

''Hurt me?’’

''You looked like you were in pain, but I didn't want to stop. You never let me do that.’’

Percy smiled and pulled Nico onto his lap, hugging him to his chest. He could tell Nico was right; It felt so good it hurt, like his orgasm was being pulled out of him and Percy had no control over it.

''You didn't hurt me. In fact, you only had to ask. You were great.’’

“Was I… great?'' Nico sank against Percy's chest, but he still looked doubtful. ''If you say so, I will believe it.’’

Percy smiled again and kissed Nico's hair. He just hoped that Nico wouldn't fight with him the next morning when they were both completely sober.

***

''If you say so, I will believe it.'' Percy hears Nico say, watching him close his eyes and sigh before relaxing against his chest, now breathing deeply in his sleep.

Percy was almost tempted to do the same and sleep in that exact position, sitting in the middle of the bed with Nico using him as a pillow. But unfortunately, he had to be the responsible person. Feeling his legs still shaking, he placed Nico on the pillows, covered him with a sheet and got up. He entered the suite's bathroom and after cleaning himself and arranging his clothes, he returned to the room with a damp towel and cleaned Nico, saying "I'll be back soon", which Nico didn't seem to hear, and left the room, closing the door softly behind him, leaving Nico under the covers in just socks and a t-shirt.

He went downstairs and, already regretting it, saw that there were still people at the party. Not that it mattered to him, it was just another day at the Jackson house, so he walked with determined steps towards the kitchen, but when he got there he had an unwanted surprise.

It was Annabeth, of course! Who else? Who else could it be? His relaxation vanished in the blink of an eye, especially when Annabeth turned to him and smiled, holding a crystal glass with red wine against her lips, her favorite drink, Percy unfortunately knew.

Maybe he had hidden some things from Nico and, maybe he had spent more time than he’d wanted with Annabeth in the last few years; Nico was gone and Percy was feeling lonely, imagine his surprise when Annabeth showed him a little sympathy.

Percy had let his guard down, he admitted. In the name of old times and childhood friends, Percy decided that giving another chance to the first friendship he had made in his life could work. The fact is that everything was fine for some time, the gang got together once again and everything was going well, that is, until Annabeth, in a drink-fueled study session, their best friends and books scattered on every surface of his room, she had tried to kiss him. In the end, all Annabeth wanted was to be homecoming queen and take advantage of his family's influence to get a scholarship and a cheerleading position at the best university in the country. If she had asked him for these things, Percy wouldn't have minded helping, but since she decided to take it by force, Percy returned it in kind.

Now, here they were. Annabeth in a long red dress that hid nothing, standing in front of the refrigerator, seeming to observe some photos stuck in it, photos of them and their other friends from when they were children and Percy hadn't met Nico yet. Percy almost believed her longing look, almost got fooled once again, and all because he was trying to get his baby a glass of water with painkillers, hm?

Not this time.

''What are you doing here? I thought I was clear.’’

''I wanted to talk to you.’’

''You'd better go home.’’

''Don't you miss us? How it used to be?’’

Annabeth then turned completely towards him and placed the glass on the counter, moving closer to him, parading herself, trying to seduce him. All it did was make his stomach churn. What would he miss? Of feeling alone, as if he were invisible? Living to fulfill all the selfish desires of a spoiled girl? Of not being able to do something if Annabeth didn't allow it? The worst thing would always know that no matter what he did, Percy would always feel cold and abandoned, even if she was less than five steps away.

''How did you intend to do that? Breaking into my room in the middle of the night?’’

''It's a good idea. I still remember where it is.’’

''Have you gone crazy? That’s it?’’

''It's you who doesn't understand! It should be both of us. This is not natural. What would your father say if he saw you like this?'' Annabeth touched his shoulder and then the urge to vomit really came, almost materializing itself.

''My father has nothing to do with this. You’ve crossed the line.’’

''Percy, darling. It's not too late yet.'' Annabeth touched his face and looked at him with those cold gray eyes, something he had once found beautiful and magnetic, but that now froze his body and soul. If there was one thing he had learned from Annabeth, it was that manipulation came in all sizes and shapes.

He took a step back, out of Annabeth's reach and took a deep breath, feeling free from a ghost that had continued to haunt him since he decided he liked sweet, well-behaved little boys more than manipulative, cruel girls. Maybe Nico was right and the only way for him to really get rid of Annabeth was to run away and disappear, just like Nico had done before.

''You need to leave. Now!’’

''Percy, I know you're confused. He's so cute he almost looks like a girl, doesn't he? He will never give you what I can. A family. A home.’’

“Nico can’t give me…?'' Percy asked himself for a moment, distracted. Then, he felt like laughing. Nico gave him exactly what he wanted and in the exact way he wanted it the most.

''Are you sure about that?’’

Percy knew he shouldn't, knew it wasn't Annabeth's business, and yet, he did it. Percy opened the top buttons of his shirt and showed the mark in the middle of his chest from teeth and nails, close to his neck, but discreet enough to cover with his shirt.

''Do you think Nico doesn't give me what I need? He is so much better than you will ever be.’’

''You will regret it! How do you trade me for that--’’

''In fact, even if I wasn't with him, you'd be the last person on earth who--’’

Plaft!

Percy even didn't felt the pain coming, he just heard the sound of Annabeth's hand against his face, the cold touch of her hand freezing him face. The shock came when his face turned to the side with the impact, it came when her scream of fury reached his ears, completely enraged, like a demon had possessed the body of the beauty with light eyes and blonde hair.

''Do you think you can talk to me like that? That you can treat me like this? Who do you think you are!'' Annabeth shouted, going at him once again. But this time, Percy refused to submit to her wishes, he wasn't afraid of what they would say or what the consequences would be.

This time, Percy held Annabeth's arms and faced her, without fear, before the next slap could arrive.

''We're done here. I don't want to see you, hear your voice or know about you. You are not welcome in my life or Nico's life. And if you try something, you will regret it. This is my last warning.’’

With that, Percy turned his back on her and left the kitchen, still hearing Annabeth's screams. When Percy returned, Annabeth was still in the kitchen pacing back and forth, furious, with the crystal glass in her hand. But if it were up to Percy, Annabeth should keep the glass as a souvenir. He didn't want anything she had touched.

''Make sure she never sets foot in this house again.’’

Standing in the middle of the hallway that led to the kitchen entrance, Percy watched the men nod and go towards the intruder. Each one held Annabeth by an arm and without another word, Annabeth was taken away by the men, screaming and offended, because finally, the person who haunted Percy’s nightmares was banished from his home and life once and for all.

***

Still hearing the blonde's screams, Percy was finally able to get the glass of water and the painkillers that Nico would need. And feeling exhausted and with his face throbbing, he climbed the stairs to the upper floor and entered his room at the end of the corridor, finding Nico awake, leaning against the bedpost, looking at his own lap covered only by the sheets with the saddest, most gloomy expression Percy had ever seen on his baby.

Everything got worse the moment Percy closed the door and step in the room. Nico raised his head and looked at him with those big black eyes, now all teary.

''Where were you?'' Nico said in a low voice, sounding hoarse and tired.

''I went to get some hangover medicine.’’

''I'm not hungover.’’

But Nico looked like he would fall asleep at any moment, continuing to look at him, as if he didn't believe him, and Percy gave up trying to convince him. Because, in that way, they were similar. Once they set their mind to something, nothing would make them change their mind. It would be worse if they found out that the other was lying. So, resigned, Percy walked quickly to the bedside table, placed the water and medicine on it and sat down next to Nico, pulling him onto his lap.

''What happened, hmm?’’

''It's nothing.'' Nico buried his face in the crook of Percy's neck and hugged him tightly around his waist, relaxing, and only then did he feel comfortable enough to say what he thought. ''I saw Annabeth at the party. After you sent her away. I hate knowing that she's still around, hanging around us and waiting for the right moment to attack.’’

So, that was the problem.

Well, Nico was more right than he thought.

Percy hugged Nico tighter, completely wrapping him in his arms, and sighed, laying his head on top of Nico's hair.

''Is what you think of me? That I would rush to her side after being with you?’’

''No, I don't think so. I just… she has a strange influence on you. I just… I don't like it.’’

''What don't you like?’’

''The way she looks at you. Like she wanted to… dominate you. It kills me to think that… to think that she can get what she wants.’’

‘Exactly what I do with you?’, Percy had the impulse to ask, but stopped before they got into an argument that they both weren't ready to face. Even though he knew their situation was different, and even though Percy wanted to dominate Nico, it was completely consensual between both parties; with Annabeth, he couldn't say the same. Just the thought of it turned his stomach.

''You don't need to worry.'' Percy said finally, trying to relax.

“Sure.’’

''Nico.’’

Percy grabbed Nico's face, pulling his head up and forcing him to face him:

''I love you. Just you and no one else. When will you understand this?’’

''I understand. Believing is more difficult. I remember the times when you smelled different... or had marks in suspicious places… '' Nico took his hands to the place he himself had left a mark, moving the shirt away to touch the skin and making Percy understand everything.

''They meant nothing more than… stress relief.'' Percy said, touching Nico's hand on his chest. ''They never meant anything more than that. You need to believe me.’’

''At the time I couldn't understand. It was so confusing. You slept in my bed and had sex with them.'' But now, Nico seemed to understand better, going to Italy and feeling the need to relieve that same kind of stress.

''You were… a perfect angel, delicate and immaculate. I didn't want to get you dirty.’’

''Get me dirty?'' Nico said, looking confused once again.

''I didn't want to force you like those boys did.’’

Nico raised his head, ready to say that those boys would never compare to Percy, looking back at him. However, when Nico saw a large mark on the right side of Percy's face, confusion was replaced by concern.

''What happened?'' Percy was immediately surprised by the change in Nico. The little boy was making a face, somewhere between confused and irritated.

''Your face. Who hit you?’’

Would it be too corny to say that Nico made him forget the pain? Percy decided yes, it was one of the cheesiest things he had ever thought of saying.

''It was nothing. Just a scratch.’’

''I want to know.'' When Nico realized that demanding wouldn't work, he gently touched Percy's face and kissed him sweetly on the lips, saying very delicately and quietly: ''I'm worried about you. Please, Per. Tell me who did this to you.’’

'It doesn't even hurt anymore.’’

''Please?’’

''Annabeth. It’s Annabeth. I found her in the kitchen.'' Percy sighed and closed his eyes, almost purring at Nico's affectionate touch. ''She didn't take no for an answer.’’

''Per! You should file a complaint!’’

'Maybe tomorrow. When Sally sees my face and makes me go. Or Paul arrives from a trip and drags me there with Tyson's help.’’

''Per.'' Nico murmured weakly, his eyes filling with tears, making Percy's heart clench and fill with affection in equal measures.

''I'm fine. I swear.'' To prove his point, Percy kissed him softly and stroked Nico's hair, combing it back. “See? Everything’s fine.’’

“Only if you take the pills.’’

''But I brought it to you.’’

''Let's share.’’

Percy smiled and shrugged. He broke the medicine in half, gave one part to Nico, swallowed the other part and held it in Nico's hands.

''How about a shower before bed?’’

Nico accepted the offer, of course. Because Nico was the most obedient and well-behaved boy in the world, always wanting to please him and take care of him, even if Percy didn't deserve it.

So, Nico took the medicine with the water and they stripped off the rest of their clothes, taking a quick shower and were soon under the covers. It had been a long day and all they wanted was a moment of peace and quiet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soo... We finally begin to understand a little about Annabeth's relationship with Percy and Nico. Honestly? I didn't want to write about Annabeth, because it's a bit cliché. But here we are, I've been forced to introduce our antagonist properly. This way, Annabeth will be much more present in the story, but not too much, just enough to move the story forward. What did you think of her? And the development of the other characters? I'd love to hear what you think.

Thank you for reading!

If you liked it, leave me a comment, suggestions and constructive criticism. Even an emoji is valid, just so I know the story is pleasing you.

Until next time.

#percy jackson #pernico #percico #my writing #nico di angelo #percy/nico #there's no place like home

7 notes · View notes

anonymousad · 9 months

Note

Just learned about your blog, and I have been SO tired of keeping quiet about my issues with Harlan. I was in the Invictus server for about 2 years and I saw so much. I'm going to bullet point what I can remember:

-Harlan has repeatedly posted screenshots of negative reviews/critiques without redacting usernames, despite being advised that it could lead to fans dogpiling

-He has shared screenshots of emails from his family where they said negative things about him, which is wildly inappropriate for a creator to share with his fans

-Some of the perks to being an Invictus patreon member is getting weekly Malevolent episodes (which then get put together as a single longer public episode) and typically an episode ends with a choice and patreon members at certain tier and above can vote on which option is chosen, like a choise your own adventure story. Back in October someone voiced their disappointment in not getting to vote in the patreon poll because Harlan closed it on a Friday instead of a Sunday as normal, he went on an emotional spiral where he lashed out at fans, said "anyone who is unhappy being a patreon doesn't have to be a patreon", and tried to guilt trip people by bringing up his son.

-Other perks of higher patreon tiers include a personal message from a character of your choosing at the $25 tier and a personal thank you video from Harlan and Jo at the $50. I know of multiple people who paid at the $25 tier for months, a few who paid for a whole year at once, who didn't receive these rewards until they reached out and contacted Harlan themselves, months after they had paid for the tier. And they did have to be the ones to message Harlan, when it was brought to his attention that there were many people waiting for their rewards he didn't do any legwork himself to find out who's had never been fulfilled, which is extremely unprofessional.

-Everything up to now has just been the things I saw as a member of the server with access to the patreon channels. I'm friends with an ex-mod, and her getting kicked from the mod team was my sign to give up on the server and finally leave it. I hadn't posted anything in there in months, and I didn't make any sort of "im leaving" post, I just dipped. Apparently they keep track of who's left the server, because Harlan DM'd me saying he was sorry to see me go and he was there if I ever wanted to talk. When I didn't respond overnight, he followed up with "Well, if you ever want to hear my side of this thing with [former mod], I'll be here 🙂". I still don't understand what his intention was in messaging me, but I was curious so I engaged him in conversation and he sent me a screenshot of the message he had sent her explaining why she was being removed from the mod team. I just want to point out that I never asked to see any screenshot. When I asked if he had ever established mod expectations he tried to pass me off to another Invictus admin, despite the fact he was the one who contacted me and I was no longer a member of the server. I told him that he needed better boundaries in his interactions towards fans (or ex-fans in my case) and that there was no reason for him to have messaged me. Instead of apologizing or responding in any way, he simply blocked me.

I am aware of other things that have happened in the server since I left, but I don't want to share stories I haven't been given the ok to bring up or talk about things I've only heard about secondhand. I've been uncomfortable with the way Harlan publicly interacts with people for a long time now, and I kept quiet because I didn't want to start drama but at this point it feels irresponsible to not talk about it.

this anon says they saw a lot over the 2 years they were in the server, so I would like to say upfront that I don't know how much of that is things that have stopped and been addressed and how much has continued more recently.

some of these points seem more related to other aspects than the discord, like apparent issues with the Patreon supporter relationship side of things.

#anonymous ad #anonymous #malevolent discord #Malevolent patreon #again I want to state I don't know whether some of these points are or aren't still valid #so I guess it's your own discretion or experience on that aspect #as I said if things are addressed appropriately then I don't know how much good it does to bring them up over and over #if they aren't dealt with then you start getting into “pattern of behavior” kind of stuff

7 notes · View notes

headspaceinanutshell · 5 months

Text

Wholesome but holey

Since my last post, there has been a few significant changes in my life. My new relationship is still going well, we've even hit 6 months which I never believed would be possible after so much heartbreak in previous relationships.

Since me and my partner have been together, we have been on a holiday abroad, met each others families and even made the decision to move in together. I think the world of him and love him dearly. These are big leaps of faith for us both but so far it's working. Don't get me wrong, its not all been plain sailing. Whilst getting to know each other better, we've had a few and quite firey arguments. One of which resulted in me walking back to my parent’s house in tears. We both said things we didn't mean but it still hurt. To this day, I often replay what he said to me in my head. We both apologised and moved on from it knowing how much was on the line after how far we both have come. I hate the thought of us loosing each other over something so stupid.

The arguments do seem to be alcohol fuelled but I suppose, speaking for myself, that's when my guard comes down and my feelings come out. In most instances where something is said or I'm overthinking a situation, I won't speak up to save the drama. So, when I drink, I open up my heart and the tears start falling.

When something is bothering me, I've been encouraged to talk about it by my therapist, so I have been trying to work on it for some time now. I am not one to sit on an argument and fall asleep. I always want it to be resolved before we wake up the next day and the only way to do that is to talk it out. My boyfriend, however, is a closed book. With any conflict between us, he shuts down. Closes me out and will easily fall asleep and request to forget it all the next day.

Whilst forgetting it is good and a sign of moving on from it to me I feel that we are not moving past it. Those issues will resurface and relive again and again.

I have been asked to move into his flat with him at the end of January. I'm excited knowing that we can build our own space together and for my doggy to join me. My only worry is that it's such a small apartment that if an argument does arise, there is no other rooms to retreat to if we need space. And for him, I know this is what he wants when he's overwhelmed.

I'm sure it will all work out. I need to tame my over-active mind which is much easier typed than done.

On the plus side, 2 days ago, I had the news of which I've been waiting for since what feels like forever! I am now officially and legally divorced. When that email came through and I took it in. I immediately felt like a huge, heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Even though, I have no contact with my NOW ex-husband, I always felt like he still had control of me somehow just by that stupid piece of paper. Just another manipulation technique added to the huge list. Honestly, it feels like such a relief knowing that part of my life is NEARLY closed.

I say nearly because until my surname has been changed by Deed poll back to my maiden name, it will be a constant reminder of him. Now I'm back on social media, I ensured that my maiden name was public because I just don't want to be associated with that part of my life anymore.

So, hears to the future. We are nearly at the end of another whirlwind year. Let’s hope that 2024 brings me new challenges (Good ones) and lots of happiness. I just want to make as many memories as I can before my time runs out.

#new relationship #life after divorce #overthinking #worry #love

0 notes

thegodofthisnewworld · 3 years

Text

UPDATE - October 2021

As some of you may have noticed, I've been extremely inactive (which I should apologize for), but I'll take this as an opportunity for a small update in terms of things I am/will be working on!

Any and all feedback will be appreciated! Also, longer works will be posted on my AO3 (same name as here), whilst sneak peeks, one shots and updates will be here, so here are my upcoming works with no specific due dates.

warning, contains the following: my messy planning and descriptions <3, My Hero Academia, DSMP

MY HERO FANFICTIONS

Horns - Dabi x reader x Hawks (NSFW)

status : ongoing (nearing the end)

description : a greek mythology inspired fanfiction following the tales of Icarus/ Persephone and Hades. The MC (female) is a pro heroine that happens to be co-working with Hawks, who is madly in love with the reader but is terrible at confessing his feelings.

Due to his very busy hero life, MC begins to wonder, whether he even views her as a friend, let alone something more and decides to go to a nearby bar to drink her sorrows away. That is where she meets the flame villain, Dabi. (A meeting that Hawks was trying to prevent at all costs)

(the first 12 chapters are on my AO3, but exclusive sneak peaks/polls will be held here https://archiveofourown.org/works/32346559/chapters/80188357 )

Pirate Captain Bakugou x Gender neutral dragon Reader (SFW)

status : ongoing (second chapter tba)

description : The Bakusquad managed to get MC to join their crew and things couldn't be better. Everyone is thriving and no pirate crew (in their right mind) would attack them, as they have a dragon on their side!

That was until none other than king Enji decided to get revenge on them. With a powerful fire wizard on his side, he decides to chase down the crew and punish them for humiliating him in front of his sons, guards and loyal subjects.

(first part is posted on here and I might post this on AO3 as well, this idea was suggested by @pakabear here on Tumblr, go check them out!)

Cherry flavored lip gloss - Endeavor x reader x Hawks (NSFW)

status : ongoing (second chapter ouf of three tba)

description : A new, young heroine managed to emerge on the hero scene quicker than anyone before her, catching the attention of the #1 and #2 heroes, Hawks and Endeavor.

The first chapter follows MC (female) as she joins the hero rating conference. Her quirk, paranoia allows her to make all her opponents dreams and nightmares come true, which intrigues none other than the #1. Leaving Hawks to attend lunch alone.

Chapter 2 is tba, but it will follow the plotline of Hawks x reader, whilst the final chapter (chapter 3) will include both the #1 and the #2 hero.

(this is a NSFW fanfiction and in short- it's pure smut with a TINY amount of plot, also, the last chapter will include a threesome so- enjoy? https://archiveofourown.org/works/33377353/chapters/82902034 )

Frequent Flier - Hawks x Gender neutral reader (SFW) + (TW)

status : planned (first draft completed/scrapped)

description : Keigo is known as the man that is too fast for his own good, so it came as no surprise that he managed to shut down the League of Villains with ease, leaving the city without any major villain activity. And so, life became boring, he felt no semblance of joy or excitement from his job anymore, at least until he managed to catch a tumbling body, finally getting a whiff of adrenaline.

But to his surprise, MC didn't want saving.

(this will be a depressed/suicidal reader, hence the TW. I thought of this and wrote the first draft when I was feeling extremely down and I needed a vent, that is why it needs redrafting, but I may pose some sneak peaks to what I have written (and scrapped)

Pretty boy - Hawks x Reader x Dabi (NSFW)

status : planned

description : All I'm going to say is that it's a street racer AU. How guys with nice cars :)

Poltergeist - Demon Dabi x female Reader (NSFW)

status : planned (first few paragraphs were written, but will be changed/rephrased)

description : A modern-day halloween story. MC is a bored young adult that just got dumped by her boyfriend and by accident, she manages to summon a demon that not only helps her get revenge, but makes her feel a hell of a lot better <3

(To be completely honest, I forgot all about this, but found it in my drafts and I love the idea- so yeah.)

DSMP FANFICTIONS

Sincerely me - King George x Knight Dream (SFW)

status : in progress (scrapped and rewritten twice)

description : The typical King x Loyal knight trope with a small twist at the end

(This is a song fic as I am in a desperate need of the new Helium chapter and thus I write to pass time. Also, I absolutely love this trope and I need more of it with Dream and George)

July - Dream x George (tba)

status : in progress (rewritten more times than I can count)

description : A fanfic regarding the whole, George going to Florida tease

(Yet another song fic, what do you expect, but hey, more scrapped drafts to post as sneak peeks!)

- Bunny <3

37 notes · View notes

fictionalrambles · 4 years

Text

Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Fifteen

Submitted by jwrites_

Five Favourite Fics:

1. What's It Gonna Be by @lemonoclefox

Why I love this fic: I'm a sucker for Pride & Prejudice. San was able to take that dynamic and put it all in a modern day telling of it. I can't count how many times I've read this. Sometimes I read it all the way through, other times I go and find my favorite parts just to get that rush of emotions it never fails to give. The enemies to lovers is done perfectly, the dialogue is great and flows seamlessly, the way she tied in the storyline between Simon, Isabelle, Valentine, and Alec together was genius. I truly love every word of this story.

Favorite scene: Awkward - love - confession - in - the - rain

Favorite quote(s):

(Yes. Love confessions are great but have you ever overheard someone say something rude about you and then have the opportunity later that same night to be able to casually call that person out for their comment?)

"Her friend is..." He trails off, as though searching for the word, and Magnus can imagine him gesturing in the meantime. "Interesting," Jace eventually settles on, pointedly.

"Who, that Bane guy?" Alec says, and as he does, Magnus is hit with a wave of intrigued surprise. Does Alec like men? Interesting. The assumption could be wrong, of course, but Jace's tone implies that that's why he's mentioning it. "He's a bit over the top, don't you think?"

He sounds almost disdainful as he says it, as though Jace's mere suggestion is laughable, and Magnus's intrigue immediately shifts to offended annoyance. He straightens a little where he stands, reluctantly affected by it.

"I mean, love songs are great," Magnus admits lightly. "But stringing a few pretty words together does seem a bit unoriginal when everyone does it."

Simon shoves him lightly in offense, and Magnus can't help but laugh.

"Then what do you suggest?" Magnus is taken completely by surprise when he realizes that it's Alec who's speaking, and he turns to him. The guy's expression is neutral, but seems genuinely curious.

"Oh, I don't know," Magnus says, swirling his drink around in his glass. He shrugs. "I suppose I'm more a fan of showing and not telling. I'd much prefer someone showing interest in what I like and who I am, than comparing my eyes to the night sky, and whatnot." He gestures airily, then hesitates. He suddenly can't seem to stop himself, the memory of the Lightwoods' overheard conversation bubbling to the surface. "I think most people can appreciate that. Even if some of us are a bit over the top."

--Okay...I'm gonna go ahead and throw in a love confession~

"Look, I don't expect anything from you," he says, as though the words are hard to say. "You've made your feelings pretty clear, and I respect that. But I heard you talked to my mom, and with the stuff you said to her... I guess it just kind of made me a bit hopeful, or something. A bit." He clears his throat, while Magnus just listens. He turns to watch Alec's profile as the young man struggles to find the words, eyes on the view in front of him. "Either way, I'll admit that how I feel hasn't really changed. Maybe it should have, but..."

Alec shakes his head, and Magnus feels his throat go dry. He wants to interrupt Alec, wants to say and show everything that's bursting out of his chest, but he waits. Alec takes a deep breath then, turns to him. He looks determined.

"If you want me to," he says steadily, "I'll go. I'll leave you alone, I promise. You won't hear from me again." He pauses, licks his lips. "But if you don't want me to, if something has changed since last time, somehow... I'd really like to know. Because that would be pretty great."

2. 42 North 71 West by @lecrit

Why I love this fic: I was blessed with the opportunity to witness Lu working on this fic from its conception to its end. I was there and still I am blown away at the way she was able to work the time jumps. I remember thinking with every chapter I read, 'Wow. The way she is telling this story is amazing. She is amazing.' Lu has a way of presenting so much honesty in her characters. She writes them in a way that feels so real, that you can't help but understand their fears and hesitations even though it hurts. The story is a back and forth told through scenes set in the past and present. You get to see what they were and where they are. The story is beautifully heartbreaking. And she was able to make me enjoy a story that dealt with politics? What? Sorcery, I tell you. -- also, the bench.

Favorite scene: This was almost impossible to choose and I took way too long trying to pinpoint just one. But I'm going to go with one that I hold very dear. When Magnus goes to visit Alec on his birthday and he finds Alec playing the song he only plays when he's sad. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil~

Favorite quote(s):

“Magnus,” Alec breathes out.

The name feels almost foreign, as if he hadn’t uttered it in too long and now his mind is troubling to catch up with his mouth. Still, it manages to make Alec’s heart stutter.

“We should’ve stayed on that bench in Boston,” he murmurs.

The good thing is, he knows where to go to find his way back. It is inked on his body, engraved into his soul, sealed into his heart.

3. Lead The Way by Clockworkswan

Why I love this fic: Because it takes the wonderful adventure of Doctor Who and packs it in with Malec. This is the ultimate fun and feel good but you will also cry at one point fic. I always go back to it if I want a wonderfully written Doctor Magnus and his adorable companion Alec. Seriously, even if you're not into Doctor Who, give this fic a shot. It's written in a way that you will get so caught up in the adventure that you won't even realize it's based on something else. And if you're a Doctor Who fan, you're in luck with all the little Easter Eggs Heather left throughout.

Favorite scene: I really don't want to spoil anything. The planet of Ablorix. This will mean nothing if you don't read the fic (so you should ;])

Favorite quote(s):

Magnus extends a hand. It’s just like before, when they were in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. It’s just as inviting as it was the first time.

“How about it, pretty boy? Name a star. Any one will do. Or a date,” Magnus says. The double meaning is evident when he winks. He pauses then, and his expression shifts, growing solemn.

A clear shift in his demeanour happens. Magnus turns from playful to sincere in the blink of an eye. Although, there was also a serious tone to it. Magnus looks at him, and understanding eyes meet Alec’s hesitant ones. “Alexander, you seem like a man in need of a break, and I am very much a man in need of a friend. Adventures are always a quick way in figuring out what you want. What do you say?”

What does he say?

He says yes.

Of course Alec does.

Before Magnus can think of a good retort, he tries to ignore the clenching ache his stomach gives at the sight of a confident, smirking Alec Lightwood watching him so openly. He settles for pointing in a random direction. “I have to go and see a dog about a man. Meet back here in five?”

“Uh, isn’t the expression, ‘see a man about a dog’?”

“Not when the dog ran off with the man’s wife. A rather big scandal, it seems. The president wants me to try and step in. Smooth things over, so to speak.”

At that, Alec just stares blankly.

Magnus holds up a finger. “Yes, this is normal for me. No, you may not come along. Go.”

4. Love & Other Drugs prequel of Our Love Is A Harsh Chord in the Semi-charmed Kind Life series by @la-muerta

Why I love this fic: I'm kind of cheating here by listing two fics but they're a package deal. Love & Other Drugs was a smutty one-shot that left me wanting

more...

backstory. Let me tell you the pining and 'unrequited' love between those two demanded a story to be written. Which is why when la_muerta ran a poll on whether or not she should start it or another series first, I campaigned for this one like it was my job (I lost but I still got the series eventually so did I really lose?) The writing in this and with all of la_muerta's fics will hook you. The sadness over the back and forth between them is done so well. It's angst that will grip you and hold onto you until you eventually finish. Just go on the twitter hashtag of #OLIAHCfic and see my screaming.

Favorite scene: Probably the LSD scene.

Favorite quote(s):

Alec was still here, in bed with him.

How many times had Magnus wished that he could wake up with Alec in his arms? He didn't dare to move, wanting the dream to last a little longer, but Alec was already stirring.

he'll wonder if life would be a little easier if he wasn't hopelessly in love with Magnus, but it is a fact of who he is now: Alec Lightwood is 6'3, has dark hair, is gay, and is in love with Magnus Bane.

They are lying next to each other now, turned on their sides and face to face. The world is no longer warped and weird, but glowing and perfect. Magnus is tracing a path of lightning down Alec's body with his fingertips, and in a moment of clarity Alec understands that in Magnus' eyes he is as beautiful as he thinks Magnus is (it is the first thing Alec forgets when he wakes up sober later).

Words aren't enough to express how he feels, but they've always understood each other better when clumsy words don't get in the way.

5. The Lonely Hearts Hotline by @unrestrainedlyexcessive

Why I love this fic: It's funny, it's endearing, it's heart wrenching, it's sexy, etc. The way Alec is written in this fic is one of my favorite characterizations. The way his situation can resonate with so many young adults today. That feeling when you're an adult and you feel like you should know what to do with your life and who you should be but the truth is, you're still just as lost as always. Being an adult sucks tbh and even when you're an adult, sometimes life doesn't quite feel like it. Alec's character and growth in this fic is beautiful. (I also really loved Jace in this fic)

Favorite scene: A tough choice. Probably the office party and follow up scene in Magnus' office.

Favorite quote(s):

The problem with being a new grad, in general, is that the world and job force demands you have experience, but you have to live a certain number of productive years on the planet to gain that experience.

Early adulthood is no man's land. You don’t have the experience to matter and no one wants to pay you to gain it, hence how he ended up in the precarious situation he’s in: dodgy sex work by night, an even dodgier roommate, and desperately hoping an internship eventually turns into an actual paying job.

Magnus runs his tongue down the knobs of Alec's spine. "You're so beautiful," he says, pausing.

"I'm really not," Alec insists, eyes fluttering closed.

"Why are you so kind to everyone except yourself?"

"I'm a work in progress."

"Aren't we all?"

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction blog

57 notes · View notes

famous-aces · 5 years

Text

Morrissey

Who: Steven Patrick Morrissey

What: Musician

Where: English (Active, internationally)

When: May 22, 1959 - Present

(Image Description: a black and white photo of Morrissey from 1992. He is a young white man in his early thirties with dark hair and eyes. His hair is short and messy. He has thick eyebrows and a strong jawline. He is smiling very slightly. He is wearing a pale knit sweater. End ID)

Morrisey is one of those world-famous single named singers: Cher, Sting, Prince, Madonna, Morrissey. Perhaps a little Bono as, while he is more ironic and droll than the U2 frontman, he also has a reputation for douche-baggery. Morrissey is famous for his music's bleak drama blended with bleak humor, sexually ambiguousness, themes of the past and self-reflection, and being an all around "anti-pop idol".

Morrissey made a name for himself as the frontman for The Smiths in the 1980s (1982-87), but has a successful solo career since 1988 with only a brief hiatus from '98-'03. His most beloved albums include The Queen is Dead (1986), Strangeways, Here We Come (1987), Viva Hate (1988), Your Arsenal (1992), Vauxhall and I (1994), You are the Quarry (2004), Years of Refusal (2009). His most recey album (California Son) came out in February of this year (2019).

He is outspoken politically on, for example, vegetarianism and animal rights and against the monarchy and Americanization. In 2006 a BBC poll voted him the second greatest living British cultural icon.

I admit that while I like the Smiths well enough I had never liked them enough to really follow Morrissey's career, which is odd as I do like the whole punk/new wave/post punk scene very much. But I started listening to him a bit for this and a bit depressing but quite good.

(Image description: a photo of the Smiths backstage in 1984 by Tom Sheehan. From left to right Andy Rourke [a white man with brown hair and a leather jacket. Below that he has on a shirt with what I think is a crow on it. He has his bass slung around his neck and his hands behind his back. He has his head slightly cocked], Morrissey [wearing a striped shirt with a low neck, long necklaces, and square glasses. He has his arms crossed], Mike Joyce [pale with black hair spiked up and his bangs falling into his face. He has on a Smiths t-shirt and is mostly hidden behind the others], and Johnny Marr [pale with a black mop top with long bangs, he is thin with an angular face, he is wearing a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He has his guitar slung around his neck and fingers on the frets.] End ID)

Orientation: Humasexual (A word of Morrissey's own creation meaning "attracted to humans" but I will go into why, in Morrissey's case, it seems to fit under the asexual umbrella.)

I'm breaking my own rule here. Morrissey does not call himself "asexual," but uses his own term: humasexual. But as he defines the term and the nature of his sexual/romantic orientation it fits under the aspec umbrella. At one point Morrissey identifed as a bisexual who "hates sex" and later a "non-practicing bisexual," but be later abandoned that terminology. By the 2010s he was very open on the exact nature of his orientation.

While I would not go up to him and demand he identify as aspec the experience he describes does fit in fairly neatly into our letter of the Alphabet Soup. Again, I would not demand anything of him. He is a human person. Sexual orientation is, in the end, highly personal and individual. Do not be The Guy/Gal/Person. In the end everyone is entitled to name and define their own experience.

It may seem odd that a man who writes a lot about sex/sexual desire in his music could be asexual, but I don't think writing is necessarily indicative of the writer's true feelings. Morrissey agrees, saying time and time again from his earliest fame that he is writing a general story, not a biography. He says of his lyrics that "It was very important for me to try and write for everybody...nothing is ever open and shut.". Remember, while the artist always leaves a trace of themself in their art it is not always in the most obvious way.

I believe his humasexual might be closer to demi (or perhaps gray) than it is to utterly asexual. Aspec, but not at the zero/zero point, when we get to the quotes section I will explain further. Morrissey is definitely not aromantic. But he was intentionally celibate until his mid-thirties. It was then he had his first serious relationship, all by his own admission, not being interested in sex much before that. He still seems to have stints of celibacy. Sex as a "maybe" or a shrug rather than a necessity. And again it took a deep personal connection to his partner for him to even feel the urge to have sex. Indeed, he claimed to "hate" sex before that.

I hope to clear things up in the quotes section when I let Morrissey speak for himself, which he has done, extensively. I included quotes from his most recent public discussion on the matter from 2013.

(Image Description: a more recent photo of Morrissey performing on stage this one in color. He has graying hair now and is slightly larger than he was as a younger man, though he is not overweight. He is just less trim. He is wearing a dark suit. His face is wracked with emotion, eyes closed, mouth open. He has one hand in front of him, open palmed. The other holds the mic to his mouth. End ID)

“Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course . . . not many.”

-Morrissey in a statement from October 2013 (quoted by Time Magazine. Emphasis in original as it is the same in multiple sources) (I think this should be obvious. Again, labels are entirely up to the person using them and thus I am not applying one to Morrissey, but clearly he could stand under the ace umbrella mspec romantically and aspec sexually)

"[F]or the first time in my life the eternal ‘I’ becomes ‘we’, as, finally, I can get on with someone, Jake [Owen Walters] and I neither sought not needed company other than our own for the whirlwind stretch to come.”

-Morrissey in his 2013 memoir Autobiography. (Walters was his first serious relationship. The relationship began in 1994 and ended in 1996. It describes sentiment echoed by many demisexuals "'I' becomes 'we'" and "finally I can get on with someone". Also the idea of solitude may reflect an aspec relationship.)

"Girls remained mysteriously attracted to me, and I had no idea why, since although each fumbling foray hit the target, nothing electrifying took place, and I turned a thousand corners without caring … Far more exciting were the array of stylish racing bikes that my father would bring home.”

-Morrissey on being a teenager in that same memoir

"I don't recognise such terms as heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and I think it's important that there's someone in pop music who's like that. These words do great damage, they confuse people and they make people feel unhappy so I want to do away with them."

-Morrissey in a 1985 interview. (I don't agree with him in the least, my label makes me very happy and I know it makes many other people happy [although I did feel like this before I had my asexual label.] I think he might have been projecting. I think his not quite fitting into anything made him uncomfortable and it shows why he might not be inclined to stick to a traditional label and instead invent his own.)

[Nick] Kent: …[Y]out write a lot about homosexual longing.

Morrissey: I've always said that I leave things very open and that I sing about people. Without limitation. And I don't think that automatically makes me homosexual.

Kent: What about...sexual relationships?

Morrissey: I don't have relationships at all. It's out of the question.

Kent: Why?

Morrissey: Partly because I have always been attracted to men or women who were never attracted to me. And I was never attracted to men or women who were attracted to me. So that's the problem. I've never met the right person.

-A 1985 interview with Nick Kent, quoted by David Brent in Morrissey: Scandal and Passion (2004) (not finding "the right person" seems quite demi to me. He also says that is "part" of the reason. So there is probably a more complicated reason too. Also of note, Morrissey doesn't like Kent [or at least didn't at the time] so odds are he was disinclined to further articulate his most personal life to him. But that is purely speculation and it is dicey waters even speculating that much.)

(Image Description: the album cover of You are the Quarry. It shows Morrissey on a red background holding an old fashioned Tommy gun and wearing an old fashioned pin stripe suit. He takes up most of the left side of the image. Beside him on the right it says "Morrissey, You are the Quarry." End ID)

#lgbtq #queer #asexual #ace #20th century #europe #bi #21st century #modern #english #british #entertainers #musicians #bio #Morrissey

26 notes · View notes

phoenix-downer · 6 years

Note

I'm still crossing my fingers for Kairi being the other playable character. No offense to any other big potential possibilities but we've 2 (3 if you count kh2) games playing Riku for a big portion of the game. Roxas had a whole game to himself as well as kh2 long prologue. Aqua technically starred in 2 games too. I'd love to have Kairi jist to finally have played all Destiny trio members and to see her fighting style. Plus since Light's going to expire maybe the keyblader who's a pure light --

(2/2) will be left standing in a reality overtaken by darkness? Idk, she’s already saved Sora’s butt once by basically defying all accepted logic. I have a feeling she could do it again (plus we’ve had so much Sora+Riku development and even really cute Kairi+Riku interactions, I want some heavy focus on the Sora+Kairi bond again considering they’re each other’s most important person).Answer, here be KH3 spoilers:

I’d love for Kairi to be the other playable character for the reasons you mentioned, but lately I’ve been thinking there’s a good chance Roxas will be the other playable character instead.

For one, his move set is similar to Sora’s, so it’s probably easier to have him as a playable character.

For another, just like how we play as Roxas for a little while in KH2 and we even have to fight him near the end of the game, it would be an interesting twist to play as Roxas again, this time as the good guy fighting Sora near the end of the game (if Soranort happens).

Plus, if Sora falls to darkness saving Roxas, I can see Nomura going for the parallel of Roxas returning the favor and saving Sora.

And, let’s be honest, Roxas is a lot more popular with the fanbase than Kairi, and Nomura is probably aware of that. He tends to give more screentime to fan favorites like Lea, Aqua, and Riku (though Riku has waned in popularity somewhat in Japan at least) than to the (as of late) neglected Kairi and Naminé, who scored third and fourth place in the female character popularity poll behind Aqua and Xion. Of course, this is arguably even more of a reason to have Kairi be playable, but history is not on Kairi’s side here.

Would I like a playable Kairi? Yes, but honestly, I probably would enjoy playing as Roxas again. I’d rather have him be playable over Riku, since we’ve had plenty of chances to play as Riku already and DDD was more his game than Sora’s. Playable Riku wouldn’t ruin the game for me though; I do think if the other playable character was him, however, Nomura wouldn’t have been so secretive about it.

The one thing I do think that might hint at Kairi being a playable character is that she has been shown on the cover art with her Keyblade:

This isn’t by any means conclusive, but it’s interesting to note that the only other characters who have their Keyblades on that cover art are Mickey, Sora, and Riku, who have all been playable at some point or other throughout the series.

My guess is that this is hinting that these four (Mickey, Riku, Sora, and Kairi) will be the main characters of this game, but it’s hard to say, and again, hoping for tons of screentime for characters who are not Sora is setting expectations that might not get met.

But based on what we know, I think the narrative will follow three general arcs: Riku and Mickey’s search for Aqua and whatever comes next, Sora’s quest to gain the Power of Waking and find The Key to Return Hearts, and Kairi’s training along with Lea. It would make sense for at least one of these other main characters to be playable, and fingers crossed it’s Kairi.

Who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and Sora, Kairi, and Riku will all be playable though! If Soranort does happen I’d love for Kairi (along with Riku) to be the ones to rescue him because of those potential parallels with KH1.

No matter what happens, however, give me more moments of Sora and Kairi bonding, please and thank you! As friends, as allies, as potential romantic interests, because we NEED to see more of their relationship! KH1 did a good job of this, but you’re exactly right - KH3 would do well to focus more on their bond again. They’ve been separated for so much of the series and that separation has NOT done their romantic development (or friendship, for that matter!) any favors.

Think about it: we haven’t seen them on screen together since Blank Points. It’s been eight years (nine for the Japanese fans). Now, I think Nomura has something special planned for their reunion, because he carefully avoided having them meet in 0.2, but Square Enix in general lately has… not been good about having their main couples actually interact with each other (looking at you, Noctis and Luna and Snow and Serah, though the latter was much better about this than the former). And let’s face it, interaction is VITALLY important for a good romance! Don’t tell me they are deeply in love, SHOW me.

I am a HUGE SoKai fan, as anyone who has read my writing can tell you, but… even I know that if Nomura wants to further their romance in a believable way, they actually NEED to be on screen at the same time. Talking. Interacting. Cracking jokes. Making each other laugh. Comforting each other. Cheering each other up. Lingering gazes. Lingering hand holds. Reminiscing about shared memories. Grand romantic gestures. Small acts of love. Big acts of sacrifice.

And the thing is… every time they have been on screen together so far, their interactions have been fantastic! The chemistry is there, the emotion is there. Their reunions are always the highlights of the games. There just hasn’t been enough shared screentime, and the two of them desperately need more of it for their romance to develop believably.

I’d even argue that Sora’s feelings have been demonstrated well. There’s no doubt about how he feels about Kairi; he sacrificed his life for her in KH1, Xion looks like her because of how much she means to him; Naminé replaced his memories of her with memories of Naminé because Naminé knew she was the most important person to him, he can’t wake up in KH2 until he has his memories of her back, etc., etc. It’s not much of an exaggeration to say the plots of two entire KH games (COM and Days) have been centered around how much she means to him.

It’s more on Kairi’s end that I want to see more about what Sora means to her, and it’ll help if she has more screentime. Especially if she’s playable. That being said, I don’t want her to only think and talk about Sora; she needs to have just as much depth as he does. Let her interact with other people and have friends of her own, just like Sora has friends of his own. Her growing friendship with Lea is promising, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that that’s going to center completely around Xion, given Xion’s popularity with the Japanese fans. I’m worried Lea won’t value Kairi for Kairi, instead the audience will just constantly be reminded of how much Kairi reminds him of Xion instead of treating Kairi like her own person.

I mean, c’mon, she’s the original! Without her Xion wouldn’t even look like she does! Naminé wouldn’t exist! Sora wouldn’t have needed to sacrifice himself to save her in the first place, so Roxas wouldn’t either, for that matter. For a series so big on how special and unique every heart is, no matter how it came into existence, it’s kind of shooting yourself in the foot if you treat one of the original main characters as lesser than the people she helped create!

To be fair, though, that’s more just my concerns, and we don’t know how things will actually play out in the game, so I’ll reserve further judgment until then.

But I actually have hope that we will see Kairi and Sora interacting more in this game, mainly because of this:

“Destinies intertwine, and an oath becomes power” - combined with the quote about a new charm that seems to imply Kairi will be giving Sora some sort of leveled up version of her good luck charm, if not a completely new one, and my guess is that they will talk at least once before the final battle. Hopefully during the battle and after the battle as well. I have a hunch that even if Kairi is not playable, she might very well be a party member along with Riku for the final world.

And I am really excited about that. That screenshot above at least is proof that they’ll have time alone together to talk, which is in and of itself huge! The last time they were alone together was in KH1. Even in KH2 other people were present for their reunions. Alone time like this is a sign of something special, make no mistake about that :) (Edit to add: and no, I don’t think this is proof that Riku is dead. Riku exists outside of their relationship, and they exist outside of their relationship with Riku. He’s a good friend and knows when to give them their space, that’s all. Riku is also the deuteragonist of the series and it would make little sense to kill him off in a game that seems like it’s going to be all about saving and restoring people, but that could be an entire post of its own and I’ll leave things as they are for now).

Anyway, this got really long-winded, but yes, I’m hoping Kairi is the other playable character too, because I want her to get the screentime and development she deserves.

Thanks for the ask!

#kh3 spoilers #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #kairi #sokai #kh meta #kh speculation #kh analysis #my analysis #answer #long post

114 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

But I'm A Cheerleader! - Chapter 14 (Aja x Farrah) - Millie

A/N: since I’m indecisive, I created a poll for you guys to vote on which team you think should win the football season and why (optional). Vote here.

This week’s game had been long awaited. Over the past few weeks, it was looking as if the Bombers were going to take the trophy this year, with their wins quickly stacking up. Today was the third game before the final, and this was always where things started to heat up - even the cheerleaders were nervous, Sasha, in particular.

“Seriously, I’m scared!” she repeated to Aja for the fourth time. All the girls were standing under the bleachers, pom-poms anxiously clutched in their hands. The teams had slowly begun to integrate over the course of the past month of two, and now both shared their nervous conversations beforehand.

“Sasha, it’ll be perfectly alright,” Aja reassured. “We’re not the ones playing, remember?”

“Still,” Sasha said, “I want them to do well. This’ll reflect on us, too.”

Aja grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “It’ll be fine, no matter who wins.”

Sasha pulled her into a hug. “God, I hope so. I don’t know why I’m freaking out so much.”

“Just… don’t think about it too much.” They both pulled away and Sasha nodded.

“Guys, get in line,” Shea hissed. “We’re about to go on.”

Everyone did as they were told; Aja nervously approached the front of the line so she could lead them on, with the others obediently following behind her. Sasha looked up at her girlfriend with desperate eyes, and Shea’s expression instantly softened. She gently kissed Sasha’s forehead and smiled at her, a silent reassurance that quietened her panic. All of them tended to get in their own heads when it came to this game, it just so happened that Sasha was more vocal about it.

When the cheering from the crowd above them started, they knew that was their cue to come on. Aja took a deep breath and held tightly to her pom-poms, and pranced out from behind the purple and orange striped curtain that closed them off from the field. The applause suddenly became louder once they’d entered, and it filled them all with adrenaline. Somehow each time they came out here, they felt like it was their first.

“Okay, folks,” Mr. Mathews said over the speakers. “Overall, the B-52 Bombers have the most game wins, but RuPaul’s Glamazons are only a couple behind.”

The cheerleaders got into their starting positions, Aja standing proudly at the front with the rest of the Glamazons behind her, and the Bombers at the side anticipating their turn. In all honesty, the routine had been performed to exhaustion, but they still had fun with it.

“There are only two more games, this being one of them, until the final,” he continued. The crowd oohed with a twinge of sarcasm. “And with that, let’s begin!” He blew the whistle and the already-lined up footballers began to play, determination in their eyes.

“And, it’s a victory for RuPaul’s Glamazons!” Mr. Mathews congratulated, rising out of his chair to clap and cheer. Everyone sitting in the bleachers followed suite, standing up to applaud the end of the game. The Glamazons pulled each other into a tight squeeze, screaming hysterically. Even though it wasn’t them who were playing, they still felt as if they’d won, too. Sasha looked far more relaxed; to be fair, they all did.

“Guys, we did it!” Jaymes exclaimed with a squeal. “Well, the footballers did.”

“It’s still a victory,” Nina said, a broad smile on her face.

“This is our first win in, like, three weeks?!” Aja added, the statement only bringing her shock after she’d said it aloud.

“I guess this calls for-” Charlie began, but was cut off by an ecstatic Shea.

“No parties, no drinking,” she said. “I want us to remember tonight, at least for now. Why don’t we all come back to mine? It’s been a while since we’ve just hung out like normal.” She looked around the group for the others’ approval, which she received immediately.

Aja tensed up a little. She’d turned down invites too many times for her excuses to pass anymore, and besides, she’d hate to leave Farrah walking home alone. She was at a crossroads.

“Sorry, I’m meeting Kandy soon,” she lied.

“Come on, please?” Sasha begged. “We never see you outside of school anymore.”

“I can come by later…?” she offered. “I won’t be that long.”

Sasha’s lips were pressed into a firm line. She stared Aja down for a second before saying something.

“Sure,” she said. The celebratory atmosphere had quickly fizzled out as her friends exited the stadium, leaving her trailing behind a couple of metres. Aja felt a sharp sting in her heart.

She waited anxiously under the bleachers, just hidden from view by the drawn curtain. Keeping secrets from her friends always ate her up inside, and the guilt just festered on her thoughts. Disloyalty was one of her biggest pet peeves.

Farrah found her a couple of minutes later once all their friends had cleared out. The stadium had just begun releasing people, but no one paid that close attention to anything at the sides; the two could talk safely.

“Congratulations on the win,” Farrah said, smiling up at Aja.

Aja returned the smile weakly, responding with a simple, “Thanks.”

Farrah’s grin faded. “What’s wrong?” she asked, running her hand along Aja’s shoulder. “Did something happen?”

She looked down at her feet, playing with the hem of her shirt. “We need to tell our friends that we’re close,” she said. She looked back up at her, and there was a look of confusion plastered on her face.

“Why the sudden change of thoughts?” Farrah asked, stopping her movements.

“I can’t balance things anymore,” Aja said. “My excuses don’t work. They’re clearly pissed.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing…” Farrah admitted. “It’s just… aren’t you afraid of them reacting badly? I’m terrified.” She looked down at the ground.

“Of course I am!” Aja exclaimed. “But if I lose them, then I’d rather lose them being honest than keeping a secret.” Aja would never be willing to give up a friend, whether she’d known them for years, or just a few months. But if she didn’t come forward now, the universe would make her choose one person over another.

“You won’t lose them, okay?” Farrah assured, and resumed stroking her shoulder. “It won’t be as bad as we think.”

“Can we just leave here?” Aja pleaded. “I want to go home.”

“Sure,” she said, and they blended into the crowd. As they were walking, Farrah slipped her hand into Aja’s and gave it a tight squeeze.

It was now, or never.

Aja had never felt so confident yet so incredibly anxious walking to someone’s house, and the way she was moving probably made her look like a newborn giraffe. All the possible outcomes played through her mind, but the one that came forward the most was complete and utter rejection. But honesty was something she cherished, and was probably her only motivation right now.

Farrah had made a vow alongside hers to tell the Bombers as well, and if all went swimmingly, the two teams could maybe become even closer. After all, who could deny Farrah something when she gave them That Look? Aja was slowly becoming immune to it, but there were always times where she’d give in.

At last, she arrived at Shea’s house, and her surroundings were deadly quiet; she spotted a faint glow of light from her bedroom at the front of the house, and heard some faint speaking. She knocked at the door and the speaking stopped, and in a matter of seconds Shea was at the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Aja, but quickly fixed her expression to mask her shock.

“You weren’t with Kandy for long, then?” she asked.

“Well, about that,” Aja replied, and Shea raised a sculpted brow. “I’ll explain once I’m inside.”

Shea stepped to the side to let her through, and they both went back upstairs. The other five girls all turned their heads toward the door when Aja greeted them, some doing their best to feign a neutral expression.

“Can I talk to you all about something?” Aja asked, sitting down on the swivel chair at Shea’s desk. “Two things, actually.” Now she was here, she might as well have been fully true to herself. She was going to come out first, and save her confessions for second.

“Go ahead,” Sasha said. For the first time in a month, she looked at Aja with hope in her eyes.

She took a deep breath. “Well, this is something I’ve wanted to tell you all for a while,” she began, “and I figured a couple of seconds ago that now is a good time. I’m…” She paused for a second and took another deep breath, daring to look up at her friends. They all looked concerned for her except Sasha, who had a giant smile on her lips. “I’m gay.”

Sasha immediately leaped up from Shea’s bed and engulfed Aja in a hug, and her whole body was filled with relief. The remainder clapped awkwardly, unsure of how to react. However, if her next statement was taken badly, Aja was sure that that would be the last hug her and Sasha would ever share, and the final feeling of acceptance that she’d receive from them.

“I’m proud of you,” Shea said, a beaming smile on her face to match Sasha’s.

Sasha pulled back and sat down again, looking at Aja like she was a proud mother. The rest of her friends looked overjoyed, and Aja’s heart was filled with a nervous pride.

“Is that why you’ve been acting so distant?” Alexis asked. “Because you were afraid of us judging you or something?”

“Yes, and no,” Aja replied. “Which brings me onto my second thing, I guess.”

Alexis nodded at her encouragingly.

“Well, you guys know Farrah?” she asked. Stupid question, but somewhat a time delay.

They all nodded in unison, and a couple of them shared a confused glance.

“We’ve been… close. Even before our teams had to come together. I was there when she got mugged. We’ve been - friends? I guess - since then. So, I’ve been walking home with her after practice and all our games, and that’s why I’ve been blowing you all off. I’m sorry about that, truly.”

The Glamazons stared back at her, stunned. Their previous happy expressions were dead, now replaced with stiff, gaunt faces.

“You blew us off just to walk home with someone else?” Alexis questioned. “You could’ve-”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Aja said.

“Can’t she walk home by herself?” Shea asked. “I know she whines and all, but she’s not a little kid.”

That statement filled Aja top-full with rage. “It’s scary for her, okay?!” was all she managed to get out through her anger. “She was mugged, for fuck’s sake!”

“Aja, calm it,” Sasha said softly, looking between her and Shea. “I’m sure Shea didn’t mean anything bad by that. And thank you for being honest with us.” Aja shot her a quick smile, her irritation still flaring.

“It’s just… a shock,” Jaymes added. “You know the B-52 Bombers have been our rivals for years, and still kind of are.”

Aja simply nodded. “Yeah.”

“You guys are just gonna let this go?” Alexis countered, crossing her arms over her chest. “It took her weeks to tell us this, something that’s actually very important. I mean, do you know what would’ve happened if anyone had known about the friendship before we started practising for the tryouts?”

“Yes, and I knew someone would react like this!” Aja exclaimed. “We’re friends, okay? I’m friends with a Bomber.”

#millie #but i'm a cheerleader #farraja #aja #farrah moan #au #rpdr fanfiction #cheerleader au #lesbian au

29 notes · View notes