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#IM NOT PLAYING AROUND I NEED IT I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM I DON'T FEEL LIKE I KNOW ENOUGH I DON'T LIKE MAKING SHIT UP.
tsimvkas · 2 days
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find comfort in you — trent a.
A/N: it took me a week to be able to write this so im sorry to be posting it on a happy sunday lmao 😵‍💫 a proper trent fic is coming soon please be patient with meee
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In the six months you’ve been together, you’ve seen Trent crying once: when Klopp announced his decision.
Since then, you’ve been dreading this day. The final game, when Trent would have to say goodbye to one of the most important men of his life.
When all the celebrations ended and the player’s family entered the pitch, you sat and waited. Trent is very reserved, and you’re even more reserved than him.
Since day one, the agreement was not dragging attention to the relationship, which means you hadn’t been officialised to the rest of the world yet.
It was never a problem to you, not wanting to have people stalking you around or commenting weird things on your socials. But in moments like these you wish Trent were a normal guy.
You wish you could just go there and share the moment with him and his family, supporting him and telling him how proud you were. How strong he was.
But your choices needed some sacrifices, so you kept watching the lap of honour as a normal fan, smiling to the view of your boyfriend holding Aura, so happy and comfortable in her uncle’s arms.
Having seeing him crying earlier during Klopp’s speech had broken your heart, but you knew it was coming. Even though the rest of the world doesn’t know how much, Trent is a sensitive guy, and the end of this era — the only era he has known in his professional career — really affected him.
You agreed to meet them in the parking lot, so when Marcel waved for you it was your signal to leave.
Patiently waiting next to Trent’s car, you instantly noticed how his mood had changed since the last time you checked on him on the pitch.
When no one’s watching, is when your boy shows how he’s actually feeling.
“Are you coming home with me?” was the first thing he said, but instead of teasing and saying something like ‘good night to you too’, you chose to cup his face and stroke his cheeks.
“I think your mum was thinking about staying with you, she was telling me about what she’ll cook” you told him softly, your heart hammering in your chest when he leaned on your touch.
“I asked her not to. Just for tonight, I need to be alone” Trent squeezed your waist, sighing. You nodded, since you imagined that he’d want some space after the draining day.
“That’s ok babe” you stroked his chin. “Can you drop me home?”
“No” he shook his head and opened his eyes, his pleading eyes immediately finding yours. “I need to be alone with you. Can you come?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course” you felt your heart tightening with worry. “What do you want for dinner? We can have a takeaway”
“I don’t feel like eating” he mumbled, playing with the hem of your Liverpool shirt. “I just wanna cuddle and sleep”
It was your turn to sigh, but you kept stroking his cheek to give him some comfort. “Trent…”
“You can make me breakfast tomorrow” he shrugged, and you knew the subject was over for him.
“Do you want me to drive?” you asked him, ignoring the dinner topic for a while. When he nodded, you pecked his lips and walked to the driver’s side.
You drove quietly, scratching Trent’s scalp at every traffic light and smiling at his little pout.
It didn’t take long to get on his porch, and soon you were turning off the engine. Trent jumped out of the car and ran to open your door for you, making you smile.
Holding hands, you entered his house with him and Trent sighed at the warmth of his safe space.
Once you were in his room, you let go of his hand to open his wardrobe.
“You can shower first” you told him, wanting your boyfriend to have a relaxing time whilst you got to tidy his room. You love Trent, but on a daily basis he’s a messy guy and there’s nothing you can do about it.
He nodded without enthusiasm, accepting the towel you grabbed for him and walking to the bathroom.
Knowing Trent you knew it was going to be a long shower, so you got to work. Changing the bed sheets, putting his clothes in the laundry, opening the bedroom’s window and preparing a snack for him, soon you were back in his room.
Placing the sandwich and the cup of tea on his side table, and looked for the pyjama you’re always leaving there for moments like these.
When he got out, Trent frowned at the plate on the table, but you didn’t give him time to complain, quickly kissing his cheek and entering the bathroom.
Coming back to his bedroom, you were welcomed with the sight of Trent still sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for you. His tired and puffy eyes looked back at you when you got closer and leaned to peck his lips, happy to see that the plate you brought him was empty.
“Ready to knock out?” you murmured, scratching his scalp. Instead of answering, he grabbed the hoodie next to him and handed it to you.
“It’s cold tonight and we know I’ll steal the blanket” he murmured, giving you a shy smile
Giggling, you wore the hoodie before climbing in bed. Cold or not, Trent’s bedroom was acclimated and he could easily make the room warm, but you know how much he liked seeing you in his clothes and after a day like the one he had you think you boy deserves the little happinesses.
When your boyfriend crawled behind you, you let him lay in bed before laying on top of him and tucking your head into his neck, sighing when his hand started to stroke your lower back gently.
In the past six months you quickly found out that cuddling with Trent was one of the best parts of your relationship. His strong arms made you feel safe and it never took you long to sleep with the comforting warmth that irradiates from him.
“Thank you for staying with me tonight” he murmured, and you instantly pulled back to look at him.
“Always. Are you ok, though?” you gently stroked his cheek, brushing away a few tears that you know he tried to hold, without success.
“I’m gonna be” he murmured, kissing your nose. “We’re all gonna be alright. But I was thinking…”
“Mm?” you gently poked his nose, waiting for him to talk.
“You should come live with me” he said casually, biting a smile. “If I’m not seeing Klopp everyday I think I should be able to see you everyday”
“You’re comparing me to Klopp?” you raised an eyebrow.
Trent smiled softly and shrugged, and it was crazy how you could make him feel better even after the intense and emotional day he had.
“I mean, both are family”
You rolled your eyes with a pretending disbelief.
“I’m surprised you never tried to move in with him, Trent”
“I did” he mumbled, making you laugh loudly. “Ulla said no”
“I’m Klopp’s replacement then” you mocked, playfully biting his jaw.
Your boyfriend shook his head, now looking at you seriously. “You’re not a replacement. I just think the time is right but I understand if you think it’s too soon”
“I know baby” you kissed his cheek, smiling he caresses your back beneath the hoodie and your shirt. “I’ll move in with you if you learn how to clean your room”
Trent eagerly nodded, hugging your waist tighter and pecking your lips.
“Deal. I’ll clean it everyday after training”
“We know you can’t clean it everyday, not even if your life depended on it, Trent” you chuckled, resting your head on his shoulder.
“But you’ll move anyways” he brushed his nose on your hair. Trent always says how much he loves the smell of your hair products, and you think it’s cute how he pays attention to that, even complaining when you use a different one.
“I will” you kissed his neck. “I’d do anything to be closer to you”
Tangling your legs together, your boyfriend yawned before readjusting your body on top of his so you could both be more comfortable.
“I wish Klopp felt the same” Trent jokingly sighed, making you both laugh.
You know he’ll cry when you’re asleep. You know there’s a maximum amount of comfort you can offer.
But you also know that Trent will feel better if he can cry holding you; for him, your presence is already enough. You know he’ll wake up with puffy eyes and a tired expression, but he’ll get up and look for you in the kitchen.
He’ll give you a softly smile and hug you, giving your face little kisses until you start to giggle and push him away. He’ll sit and wait for you to finish coffee, and then bring you to sit on his lap.
Trent knows that tonight something was taken away from him, and that the future is uncertain, but he has you. And you, he’s sure, are his only certainty.
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teenytinyjimin · 1 day
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baroque (j. jungkook)
summary: masquerade balls are all fun and games until you meet that one person that you feel like you’ve known for a lifetime, but regardless as to who he is, you can’t just let him go.
pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 2.4k
tags: masquerade, mystery, academia/renaissance/baroque (i know these are all different but its a little combination), ballroom dancing, reader is absolutely in love with this mystery man she’s dancing with, and he’s kinda in love with her too, spoiler: they know each other, kissing of course!
warnings: none
author’s note: IM BACK! IM SO SORRY BUT IM BACK! anyways i hope u guys enjoy! my last kook fic got a lot of traction so thank u so much <3 so i hope this is up to par with that one :)
── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──
As you stood at the steps to the entrance of one of the largest ballrooms in town, you took a deep sigh. This wasn't a sigh of distress, however, it was more of a sigh of anticipation.
Balls weren't necessarily a thing of the 21st century. Had it been, say, four-hundred or five-hundred years prior, a ball would be the talk of the town and absolutely everyone would be flooding into the ballroom to have the time of their lives dancing with one another. Alas, it was 2024, and the only people you'd see attending a ball nowadays would be people who are actively interested in Renaissance and Baroque culture and seek rare events pertaining to such.
There was something about these classical time periods that felt ageless and beautiful to you. The big gowns, glimmering jewels, and elaborate ballroom designs were absolutely gorgeous. So of course you were going to indulge in as much classical beauty as possible in modern times. And that meant going to balls whenever you could (or, in other words, whenever you were able to hear about them through the grapevine).
So here you were, in your elaborate Renaissance dress, staring at the entrance ahead of you. This particular ball was a masquerade ball, so it was even more exciting considering the fact that most everyone would be anonymously dancing behind beautifully decorated masks. You looked down at your own mask in hand, a beautiful and ornate piece strewn with jewels, glitter, and feathers. You had spent the last week perfecting the mask and had gone through nearly a dozen prototypes before you created what you thought was the best piece of work you had ever done in your twenty-something years of living. It was beautiful, and it would do a perfect job of hiding exactly what needed to be hidden to make this masquerade a true mystery for you.
Fastening the mask over your head and onto your face, you began to ascend the steps and enter the ballroom. As anticipated, the venue was covered in beautiful Renaissance artwork and ornate chandeliers. The marble pillars holding the place together really brought everything to life as they echoed the Roman influence that they possessed into the large room. Ahead of you was a sea of elaborate gowns and tuxedos, all spinning around in harmony as they danced with one another to the beautiful orchestral music that played.
"A glass of champagne, miss?" A voice called out from next to you. You looked over to see a masked waiter with a tray of champagne flutes in his hand. You gave him a polite nod and curtsy as you took a glass from him. Champagne wasn't necessarily your drink of choice, however you needed something to keep you company while you waited for a good opportunity to join the dancing or, alternatively, until you were asked to dance.
As you approached the floor of the ball, navigating through the sea of dancing people, you attempted to find someone you may have recognized. Sure, masquerades made it rather difficult to identify a person and thus it was quite hard to know if you knew anyone anyway, but it was worth a shot for the sake of socializing. For the most part, everyone seemed pretty invested in their partners, committing to the elaborate ballroom dance that was taking place to the sound of a piano and violin.
Within a matter of moments, you suddenly found yourself on the ground as you had accidentally run directly into another individual. You looked up to see a gloved hand reach down to you, begging for your touch so that it could help you to your feet once again. As you obliged, you realized the body to which the hand was connected was much stronger than you had anticipated as you practically flew back to your feet. A little lightheaded from the rush of movement, you swayed for a moment and tried to find your footing, but the hand that previously helped you was now firmly on your waist as a form of support.
You brushed off your dress once you found yourself more stable, a bright red blush creeping to your cheeks. "I'm so sorry-" You began before looking up to the person in front of you. Something about his presence left you fascinated – He was tall with wide shoulders and toned arms, something you could immediately notice through his tight-fitting shirt. Despite being fit to his body, his shirt was beautiful and contained all sorts of frills and jewels. Only one of his hands were gloved, as the other one was covered in bracelets and rings of a particularly ornate design. He had the most beautiful chain necklaces wrapped around his neck which perfectly suited his beautiful jawline, which was both sharp and soft at the same time. His lips, a perfect amount of plump, were curled into a soft smile which made him a lot less intimidating than he seemed. When you finally saw his eyes, you were met with the most beautiful black orbs that were wide with wonder and amazement. You could've sworn that you've seen those eyes somewhere, as they reminded you of all the comfort you had ever felt in your life, but you couldn't quite put them to a face you recognized. Though this man's face was hidden behind a beautiful mask, you could tell that he was breathtaking in every sense of the word.
"Are you okay?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you. There was no way you were going to escape his gaze, not because he wouldn't let you but also because you didn't want to. You nodded softly as you continued awkwardly brushing off your dress, unsure of how to speak to the man in front of you. The soft smile that was once on his face now grew to a more toothy grin as he took your hand in his and gently pressed your knuckles to his lips. "If you'd like to make it up to me, I'd love to dance with you."
How were you meant to say no to him? Besides the fact that he had quite literally left you speechless, everything about him was absolutely gorgeous and you'd never turn down an offer to dance with someone like him. As you once again responded with a nod, you felt as he used the hand he had wrapped around your waist to guide you further into the crowd of people and to a more open area where you could properly dance. Once there, he pulled you slightly closer to him as he took your hand in his free one. You naturally placed your other hand upon his bicep, which was tense under your touch, and he began to guide you into a waltz-style dance. It felt as if this came naturally to him as you effortlessly swayed around. You continued to stare into his beautiful doe eyes which shimmered with fantasy as they quite literally pierced into your soul. Whoever this man was, he was perfect in every sense of the word. He was just so perfect.
"You look absolutely stunning, by the way. I'm not sure if I mentioned that," He said after a moment, causing you to blush and look away. "I could say the same about you," You responded quietly, letting yourself feel the air around you blow through your hair. "Thank you for helping me up, by the way. This dress is difficult to maneuver in when you're on the ground."
"It's my pleasure. After all, we bumped into each other. I had an obligation. I wasn't going to let a beautiful girl fend for herself on the ground as a bunch of people danced all over her." You looked back over to him and let out a soft giggle, watching as a grin rose to his face. Something about him was just so warm and inviting, yet you couldn't put your finger on what it was. Perhaps you two knew each other in a past life, one in which you were actually attending balls together in the Renaissance.
"I bet you call a lot of girls at these sorts of things beautiful. I mean, look at you." You say in a teasing tone, watching as his grin dropped to a smirk. "Bold of you to assume that I go to these dances very often, miss." He lets out a soft sigh as he continues to effortlessly sway you around, refusing to stop staring at you. "But even if I did, you're the most breathtaking of them all. Honest."
You remove your hand from his as you bring both hands to rest on the back of his neck, attempting to push yourself closer to him so you can talk a little quieter. "You seem like a pro, do you really not go to balls very often?" He shrugs under your touch as he wraps both arms around your waist, holding you tightly. "Not really. This is my first time coming to this place at least. I'm more of a contemporary dancer."
"Ah, I see," You say softly, letting one of your hands feel at the hair on the back of his neck. He lets out a hitched breath at your touch but continues to sway the two of you back and forth. "It's a beautiful venue, though. It feels like we're in the 1700s and not the 2000s." He comments, looking up briefly at the chandelier above the two of you. You couldn't help but agree. Sometimes when you go to events like these you forget about the chaos of life and pretend that you're still in the Renaissance, which is beautiful in and of itself.
"Have you been on the balcony yet? It has a beautiful view of the city if you want to go take a look," You propose, looking back down at the man in your arms. You watch as his eyes soften and a small smile grows on his lips, pulling away so he can offer you his hand. "You lead the way," He says as you take your hand in his and gently pull him away from the crowd.
As soon as you reached the fresh air of the empty balcony, the two of you stood in silence as you admired the shimmering lights of the city in front of you. "Wow..." He muttered, clearly surprised at the sight in front of him. "You can see pretty much everything from here. How is that possible?" You approach the railing of the balcony and lean against it, taking a moment to look around. "The ballroom is on a hill, even though it doesn't really feel like it. It's actually above the rest of the town so the balcony is able to look down on everything around us."
"I hate to say it, but it seems like I might have found something more beautiful than you." Letting out a small gasp, you turn around to face the man behind you, noticing a huge grin on his face. You smile in return. "I guess I don't blame you. A good view beats a pretty face any day."
"Mmm." He hums, approaching you slowly. He secures his hands on your waist as he picks you up with ease and places you on the railing, keeping contact with you at all times to ensure that you don't fall. Once you are steady on the railing he wraps both arms around you and presses himself tightly to you for extra support, and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck to stay safe. "I'm only joking anyway. I don't think it's possible to be more beautiful than you."
"Well, I think you're living proof of that, because you're definitely more beautiful than me," You mumble as the distance between your faces becomes much shorter than it once was. He lets out a breathy laugh as he removes one of his arms from your waist and attaches his hand to your face, stroking it gently before closing the gap completely and bringing you in for a kiss.
Kissing someone under the stars is one thing, but kissing someone mysteriously under the stars is another thing. You have no idea who this man is, you don't even know his name, yet here you are, lips connected to his. This is perhaps the best kiss you have ever experienced, as he is so soft yet so passionate with his movements. He never once lets go of you with his other hand, keeping you secure on the railing so that you don't accidentally slip. The one on your face is so soft and gentle, holding onto your face in the most perfect way. It is only now that you are able to really breathe in his scent, an obviously expensive cologne that you would kill to drown in at this point. He was consuming every part of you and you wanted him and only him.
The two of you pulled away briefly so that he could stare into your eyes for a moment. "You really are breathtaking," He mumbled, fiddling with the bottom edge of your mask. As he began to slowly pull it off of your face, you watched as his expression went from lovestruck to shocked. It looked as if seeing your face without the mask scared him. He didn't like how you looked.
"I'm sorry-" You begin to say, tears welling up in your eyes. However he stops you as he takes his own mask off, revealing a face that you could never forget. Jeon Jungkook. Your childhood best friend. The boy you had a crush on for years several years ago. He wasn't disgusted by how you looked. He was shocked that it was you.
"Jungkook?" You said breathlessly, unable to say anything beyond his name. He only stared at you in response, unsure of what his own next move would be. This wasn't something you had ever expected. Not the whole 'kissing your childhood best friend' part, but the fact that somehow in an event of anonymity, you would find your way to each other. And now that you have shared this night together, it's almost as if all the feelings you ever felt for him over the years have flooded back to you as you once again felt head-over-heels for him.
Finally, you watched as a toothy smile returned to his face. He placed his hand once again on your cheek and brushed it as you watched him admire your features. "Thank god it's you. I've been waiting for this moment for years," He mumbled before pulling you in again for another kiss.
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jackmanbj · 1 day
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bikini bottom
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summary: you go to the beach with your boyfriend for the first time.
a/n: i think im back .. probably for good
you got into the passengers side while jack started packing everything into the trunk of the car.
when he was done he went to the drivers side and started playing the music on the radio.
“j how long is the drive?”
“about twenty minutes why?”
“cause you were rushing me i didn’t have time to do my makeup and now its not going to get done cause its only a twenty minute drive.”
“mamas were literally going to a beach..with water you dont need makeup..”
“i might not even get in the water!”
“baby you amazing you don’t even need the makeup can we go?”
“you’re just saying thattt!”
jack didn’t listen to you convincing him to let you do your makeup and pulled off.
when you both got to the beach jack immediately got in the water but you decided to tan for a little while.
after about 10 minutes you were lying on your stomach when you felt water dripping on your back.
you turned around and seen cench hovering over you, the water dripping off his chest onto your back.
“boy more you blocking my sun!”
“never seen somebody so spoiled they called the the sun ‘their sun’.”
“well you seen one now, move!”
you pushed him and he dramatically fell onto the ground.
“you are so embarrassing get the hell up!”
“my leg!”
“boy this is not no fucking spongebob, jackman get upp!”
jack pouts and gets up “ma watch this!” jack says as he runs into the ocean while you watch making you giggle
“jack your really a big child”
jack didnt hear you and continued to play in the water
after five minutes of watching him you decided to go get in the water for a while
“i told you that you would get in the water”
“jack hush because im not even gon’ be in long, and did you put on sunscreen? you know yo’ ass sunburn”
“no..”
you sighed and grabbed him by the arm and brought him to the chairs to put sunscreen on him
“there now you can go back and get in the water”
jack immediately got up and ran to the water with you laughing and walking behind him
“jack boo come here” you say calling him to the shallow part of the water where you were
“huh?” jack says coming back by you with his hair soaked from being underwater
“im hungry is there any close food spots?”
“uhmm… not that i know of, wanna go get some?”
“no not right now your having fun”
“it’s fine im getting tired anyway” jack says rising out of the water and picking you up carrying you bridal style to the chairs
jack places you on the chairs and you both dry of and start getting dressed in coverup outfits.
you both decided to go to canes being as though it was your favorite food.
“jackie after we eat what do you want to do?”
“i dont know mamas, its up to you really.”
you thought about it for a second before asking to just go back to the room and relax a while.
while you both were eating you took some of jacks food and he popped your hand away.
“jackman i know you didnt just pop me like im a child.”
jack laughed and kissed your forehead before getting up and throwing away the trash.
“come on pretty girl, lets go back to the room.”
you and jack walked the 10 minutes to the hotel. once you were in the room you put on a movie for yall to watch together.
“jackie bring the weighted blanket” “i forgot to pack it” “jackk! i told you several times to pack it!” “i know mamas i forgot, im sorry”
you huffed and turned to face the tv while jack came next to you
“your so pretty baby..”
you smiled and kissed jack “thank you handsome..”
“i love you girl” he said smiling and wrapping his arms around you “i love you to, forever and always?”
“forever and always my girl”
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sweetestlamb · 1 day
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Remember Me
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Author's note: I can't believe it's almost over. I'll miss them so much 😭😭 I've been meaning to write but life is lifing and I never have time so I quickly got this out and hope to post something else tomorrow.
Summary: I was made to love you in every universe.
It's like learning to breathe again after being submerged in water for too long, his lungs burn from the strain but his body knows what to do.
Inhale. Exhale. Remember.
Her smile on the rainy day and the way his heart stopped just for a moment to take her in.
The ache in his chest as she cried desperately lashing out in the hospital and the guilt that threatened to suffocate him.
How deeply he loved her and how full he felt when she finally loved him back, she never said the words but he felt her love all the same.
It was all erased without his permission and then suddenly it was pressing down on him until he could barely breathe. Memories. Not fantasies, or dreams or even hallucinations but memories from a life the he doesn't recall living but his heart does, it feels so real to him, so much so that he can't stop the tears from begin to pour from his eyes.
How could he forget her? How could she let him?
"Sun Jae? Are you in pain? Are you okay? I'll get the doctor."
He blindly grabs at his manager's hand stopping him before he can leave him.
"No. I need you to get Im Sol. I need to talk to her, right now."
"What? Why do you need to talk to her? You need to let this crush go! You almost died tonight, I was so worried about you!"
It doesn't make sense, nothing does anymore and he doesn't even know where to begin in explaining to Dong Seok, he just knows that he has to see Sol. He's never wanted anything more in his whole life, or lives.
"Please. Just get her."
He hears a deep sigh and then it's quiet again and now he just has to wait and hope that she'll come.
That she can help make sense of the mess in his head.
Although he tries to fight it, sleep is a worthy opponent and he loses the battle.
But at least in his sleep she finds him again smiling so beautifully that it's hard to believe that he could have ever forgotten her.
He remembers her laugh, the touch of her hand on his, and every kiss plays like a movie of someone else's life and it ignites a burning in his chest that he's only ever felt since meeting Im Sol.
I was made to love you.
He watches himself whisper those words to her and the gentle smile that forms on her face as she leans over to press their lips together.
But before they can touch he feels himself being shaken from his sleep and he almost rumbles, annoyed to be pulled from a memory so sweet but when he opens his eyes it's not Dong Seok that he sees but her.
His fate.
"What happened? Why are you here? Why are you hurt? You're not supposed to be hurt, I did all of this so you wouldn't ever get hurt!"
She wails at him, his chest tightens as he watches her cry again. Always crying for him.
"Sol. I missed you."
And that makes her freeze her eyes wide and glossy with unshed tears as she stares at him. He stares right back, lifting himself up into a seated position. He needs to sit for this conversation.
"What do you- I shouldn't have come here. I should go."
This time he takes her hand and refuses to let go. He's never letting go ever again. Even if it means he dies, death is worth the touch of her hand.
"Stop running away. I know you want me to live a long life but I can't be happy without you in it."
"What are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you when I said that I was talking about....uhhhh I meant-"
He lets her fumble trying to find a way to end her sentence but words escape her and he's done being without her.
" It's me. It's always been me and for me, it's always been you."
Her breath hitches and he reaches across to brush away the tears slowly trailing down her cheeks.
"How?"
"I remember everything. I know why you pushed me away and I know why you're scared to be around me."
For a moment it's like she's frozen in time and then everything erupts and she cries like a child, like her heart is broken and she's lost everything precious in this world, like a weight has been lifted and she's gained everything she's ever wanted.
"Come here." He draws her closer hugging her tightly, healing them both.
He rocks her back and forth as she weeps in his arms and he hums soothing words into her ears.
"You did good. I'm sorry I forgot you, I'm sorry I left you all alone."
Those words make her pull back and she shakes her head viciously.
"I wasn't lonely. I was fine. Everything was fine, I did what I had to do and I'd do it again."
And he takes offense. Anger so hot it burns rises up in his chest.
"Do you love me?"
His words are hard, they bite the air and smack her across the face.
It's an accusation. And he sees her anger form right back like clouds before a hurricane.
"Do I love you?! You remember everything and you're still asking me that?"
"Yes! You're still lying to me. You'd be fine without me? Well I wouldn't be fine without you! I need you, more than life."
"If you stay beside me then you'll die!"
"And if I don't then I won't live!
He grabs her face as shouts his final plea, baring his entire heart to her on a platter. He's always been consistent.
"Do you understand? If I don't have you then life isn't worth living, Sol. I was made to love you and only you. In every universe. That's my fate."
"Why? Why can't you love someone else? Why can't I save you? Why is fate so cruel?"
That he has no answer to. He's never had to watch her die but she's endured that pain too many times and he knows that's what held her back.
But it's different this time. He's not going to die.
"Nothing's going to happen. They got him. He's never going to hurt anyone ever again."
"Are you sure? He's.. Really..."
She stutters in disbelief and he nods, "Your friend got him. He saved my life too."
"Thank goodness. Thank goodness."
She collapses onto his bed and he tries to suppress the tinge of jealousy that flares. It's not the right time and she loves him, he's seen it through space and time.
"So, stop pushing me away. Please."
There is only silence and then there's sobs and she's gripping his hand just as tightly.
"I..... didn't want to. It hurt everyday. To watch you and know that I couldn't have you, to know that I'd never hear your voice or feel your arms around me or be there to comfort you. I cried every night. I wasn't fine. It felt like stabbing myself in the heart a million times. I-"
"Shhhh. It's okay now. Just give me all the love you've been hiding. I'll take it all."
"Can I?"
She sounds so young and sixteen year old Sol flashes in his mind.
"You can."
She squeezes his hand before bringing it to her mouth and placing a butter soft kiss on his skin.
Then she leans closer and reaches up to caress his face. She stares at him as if she's drinking him in and she says as much, "This beautiful face. I should have enjoyed it more when I had the chance."
He blushes, not used to being called beautiful but he doesn't contradict her. Who is he to deny a compliment?
"Enjoy it now. You can even take a picture."
Her giggle is music to his ears.
"Your ego got bigger."
"Hmmm that's not all that got bigger." He fires back straight faced and then he smirks as her tell tale blush colors her face a vivid red.
"Where is your mind right now? What are you thinking about Sol? Hmmm?"
"Nothing! Shut up! I wasn't thinking about anything dirt-!"
And he probably shouldn't do what he wants to because those other timelines weren't truly them, or were they? It's all so confusing but ever since he watched himself kiss her it's all he's been able to think about. He wants to kiss her desperately, hungrily.
He's too impatient to wait for her to catch up. He kisses her hard, then soft then hard again and it's everything. A taste that he forgot that suddenly takes him over and it's all he can remember now. He twists his head remembering that she liked that, then swipes his tongue in a move that used to make her moan.
"Sunjae.." she moans into his mouth.
Still makes her moan.
"You know he's still recovering you really shouldn't be sucking his face off quite yet." A voice rings it loudly breaking the tension in the room.
She bolts away from him but he doesn't loosen his hold on her. Instead he turns his head to glare at the intruder.
"Get out."
"No. You'll have a scandal if I leave, who knows how far you two will go..." Baek Inhyuk replies with a salacious wiggle of his brows.
It's probably for the best.
There's so much he wants to do with her, and he doesn't want an audience.
He just wants Im Sol.
Now, and forever.
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24kmar · 16 hours
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 (A. Donaldson)
Part 2 of Thigh to Thigh
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𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Art Donaldson x fem! Reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ MDNI, smut, angst, language, fluff, love confession, happy ending 🩷
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: The aftermath of the argument with tashi.
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𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈
𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒚 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖, 𝒀𝒐𝒖
The argument you had with tashi has been replaying in your mind. The same question running in circles in your head. "Me or art?". And to add insult to injury, art heard all of it. Was he asking the same question? Him or tashi?
You had been avoiding both of them. Being succesful uptil now. While finishing an english essay you heard a knock at your door. It couldnt have been your roomate. She was at a lecture right now. Getting up and answering the door to your dorm, you were met with art.
Art-" you gasp being cut of as he pushed his way past you, into your dorm. "We need to talk" he breathes out, sitting on your bed. "About what?" You play dumb, crossing your arms nervously. "You know what" art looks at you.
Look y/n, im not asking you to pick me" he rushes the words out like hes been holding them in for ages. Chewing on your lip, you hug yourself. I just need you to know how much you mean to me," he sighs, tears brimming at his waterline. Which causes tears to brim in yours too. "even if we stay friends or dont." "you mean so so much to me." He cries, tears falling down his face. Standing up, he cups your face "I would destroy myself for you" "Art-" "Listen to me-" Art you should leave"
Silence. Pure fucking silence.
Nodding, he opens the door and speaks up before walking out "i love you". That makes you freeze completely, but not without tears rolling down your face.
Flinching as you hear the door shut, you just stand there. Standing there hugging yourself, while sobbing.
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𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈
𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏
Its been two days since you last spoke with art. Those two days have been miserable. Downright depressing. You missed him so much. Knowing you hurt such a good person made you hate yourself. Especially hurting someone cause they loved you. Why did you tell him to leave? You didnt want him to leave. You needed him to stay, now more than ever.
You've just been bedrotting, barely eating, missing classes, the whole nine yards. Today, you decided to go to class. Not wanting to mess up your grades. The whole day was draining, dreadful even. Everything reminded you of art. You decided to blow off some steam. Going to play some late night tennis. You were just lazily smacking around the tennis ball.
Thats when you heard footsteps. Turning around, you saw art. With a heavy heart and sweaty palms, you greeted him. "Hi" you said nervously. "Hi" he replied, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "Can we talk?" You asked "Sure" he nodded softly "my dorm or yours?"
His dorm was closer, you didnt want the walk to be long. Far too awkward. The walk was silent, but not awkward silent, calm silent. Like nothing had happend at all.
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Now at his dorm. You both sat on his bed. "Im so sorry art" you spoke, tears rushing to your waterline, guilty look in your eyes. Tearing up, art spoke "y/n-"
"I never meant to hurt you-"
"Y/n-" "
"I just didnt kmow what to do-"
Pulling you in to a hug, cutting you off, he spoke "Its okay, y/n, really i understand. It was a tough situation" he sighed, rubbing your back. "You mean so much to me art" you huff out into his neck "i love you" you admit nervously, pulling away from him to look at his face. Searching for emotion. Thats when leaned in and kissed you.
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𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈𝐈
𝑰𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖
"I- i love you" art whimpers, cock drilling in and out of you "i love you- soso much."
"Hgh- i love you too. So much" you moan , pulling his hair, legs wraped around his waist as he thrusts into you. Soft yet powerful thrusts, full of love, and adoration.
Art trails a hand down your body to rub your clit. Making your back arch and eyes screw shut, letting out a high pitch moan. It was so much at once, the nips at your neck, the fast yet delicate circles around your clit, the thrusts, the love.
"I need you" he gasps "You have me" you reply, confused.
No, like i need you to-" he cuts himself off with a moan "i need you like you're oxygen" this makes your heart swell and eyes fill with tears. cupping his face, you rest your forhead against his "your mine and im yours, always" you kiss him. And like that you cum together in unison, looking into eachothers eyes, forhead to forhead.
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𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐕𝐈
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒅 𝒈𝒐 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖
Chest to chest, face to face. You lay in silence, taking in the moment. When art breaks the silence.
" You know i meant every word, right?"
With the confused furrow of you brows he continues "id destroy myself for you" he pauses to interlock your fingers "im in love with you y/n" he admits.
"Im in love with you too art." You admit smiling "i pick you".
Now its his turn to be confused, "what?" He asks confused.
"If its between you or tashi, i pick you art"
With that, you both smile lovingly at eachother
He was family. He would kill for you.
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writers-potion · 4 hours
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hello! im so sorry if this sounds weird, but you're literally the only person who gives actually useful writing advice, so idk who else to ask.
but basically im writing a side romance arc in my novel where the girl is taller than the guy. usually we see the vice versa happening, but im really fixated upon writing them, and i wonder if you could give me any good tips on how to make this dynamic work.
once again, sorry if this sounds weird. keep up the good work!
Writing Tall Girl x Shorter Guy Dynamics
Hey thanks for the question!
How Others See Them
Writing a tall girl x shorter guy couple would work best if the two of them could joke about it regardless of how others see them!
Give them jokes that only they can make -
When others ask uncomfortable questions, show them defending and taking care of each other fiercly.
Tom x Zendeya?? I mean they're sooooo cute
On the other hand, you can try writing conflict that circles around the fact that the girl is taller:
Other girls (guys) gossiping about how they'd never date someone shorter (taller) than them.
Mindless comments about how they would be "cuter" if the girl was shorter, etc.
It's hard to imagine this happening outright (it happens subtly more or less) in the modern sense (unless you have a mean character), but can work in slightly older period settings when steroetypes were stronger than they are now.
Personally, I think it would be funny to have scenes where the two of them don't care at all while another character tries to comment on their height, only to leave slightly embarrassed.
How They See Themselves
Given that the average guy is taller than the average girl, it's likely that (1) your female character is taller than average and/or (2) your male character is shorter than average.
In such cases, they might be insecure about their height and therefore feel unsure about the relationship for the reason, especially in the beginning. You can choose to show this especially if:
The two characters are teenagers, when people are sensitive about their looks/peer pressure
They have a job/hobby where they constantly encounter the traditional "ideal man/woman" (e.g. the girl works at a drama studio where all the shippable couples in it have petite girls/ the guy's hobby is basketball and his buddies would tease him, etc.)
This allows you to then write healing relationship arcs like:
The girl making the guy realize that his his heighten doesn't undermine his masculinity.
The guy making the girl feel "protected and safe" - I feel like this is the top quoted reason for girls preferring taller guys - despite the height difference.
The girl/guy initially believing that they need to find someone who is taller/shorter than them but realizing that height isn't important when you've met the right one.
Since romance is about how two people come to know more about themselves and grow together into more mature. stable people, try playing with how having a height that stands out affects the characters' psyche and how this relationship makes them care less and be more comfortable in their own skin.
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haunted-xander · 4 months
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that#like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was#but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it#urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her#it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything#urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation#y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance#too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change#and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK#GOD#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne#urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag
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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 month
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Something something about Buck and learning and or teaching.
Something something about Buck teaching when he really needed to be learning.
I just keep thinking about how the show has increasingly - especially last season - put Buck into the role of 'teacher' - including his coma dream. (i'm using teacher for the lack of a better term!) and how in the aftermath of the coma dream - he's been trying to teach but it hasn't worked - instead he's been learning.
I've been musing on the fact that even back in season 1 Buck has been in a teacher role -
Abby learning to chose herself and go for her happiness,
Bobby learning to let people in and Buck being a major part of that because of their developing father-son type relationship
'teaching' Eddie that he could rely on other people for help
Maddie learning at Bucks hand that she didn't need to keep running, that she could lean on him for support and build a new life for herself
Ravi being tutored by Buck in the fire house
even Lucy being given advice by Buck - teaching her through his own experiences in dumb luck
Buck making himself into a teacher in his coma dream and the idea that all these people he has helped teach teaching him that he has a place with them and that he is important
and so many more examples through the seasons that I won't list or I'd be here forever!
Because there has been a lot of emphasis on teaching and learning since Buck woke up from his coma - he learnt he was good at maths, but then wasn't allowed to help Chris with his maths homework because it would be cheating.
used his maths skills to win at Poker - but got taught lessons even in victory - rather than teaching others lessons (whatever they might have been)
Natalia being interested in him because he could teach her about death and things going south pretty quickly when it became evident that Buck needed to learn how to live again rather than be stuck in death
And now we've had several mentions by Tommy of him teaching Buck things - teaching him to fly, teaching him Mauy Thai, all the way to him being his bi awakening is teaching him about a part of himself he didn't know. Things are turned on their head - Buck is the student not the master now
Even with Eddie this season, we've seen him teaching Buck things - rather than Eddie learning from him - Eddie handing over this really important thing going on with Chris - Eddie knowing that Buck would be a better option - that Chris would open up to him more - is teaching Buck about his importance in the Diaz family - re-enforcing that he is part of their life. Its also Eddie who has had the good advice for Buck this time rather than the other way round.
Something something about 'you like to be the guy with the answers' to Buck becoming the guy with the (maths) answers - only for it to fade away and now he's having to learn
Something something about the tie to Buck and death and the resurrection and how Christ was the teacher up to and immediately after his death and resurrection when he left others on earth to spread his teachings and he ascended to learn at the right hand of god
Something something about how that is the key to happiness and that is what Buck has figured out and that is why his journey to figuring that out has had him wearing the bright blue - because in Christianity - that shade of blue is the colour of the kingdom of heaven (because it is the colour of the sky!) so putting Buck in it at all these key markers of his journey is showing him as being on the road to ascension.
This post is a mess - I don't even know what it is any more! I started with one idea about teaching and Tommy and then more kept coming and we ended up here!!!!
#I know technically that they all teach and learn from each other and that others were also involved in these scenes#but I'm just interested in the fact that the tables have now been turned on Buck specifically and he is now the student#I think thats interesting as a character study - Buck who learnt to survive on his own and teach himself now getting to go back to learning#look here I am - atheist me blabbering on about religious symbolism around Buck once again!!!#Im fascinated in it though - especially in relation to Eddies catholic guilt and the way that the show is using much more#scientific symbolism around him - hearts and guts and the mind - all working organs (or groups of organs)#that have these metaphorical and intuitive attributes attached to them#but all have important real world functions that a human need to survive#and the fact that we've got Buck to this point of 'ascension' and Eddie effectively working on the last of the three - the gut#well I think that is pretty telling - once Eddie has his gut under control/ worked out (catholic guilt) then he will be in a position to#'ascend' as well.#and don't even get me started on the triangle symbolisim within all of this - the holy trinity and the trifecta of heart mind and gut#because they are playing into the triangles this season - literally every where!!!#I feel like at this point if they put Buck in purple (esp if hes wearing it when buddie go canon) - the holiest of colours and#one associated with magic -then I will be the one ascending - because that would be the ultimate#this show is insane!!#it makes me insane - I'm insane!!#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#911 meta
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gensymscribes · 1 month
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making ocs is all fun and games until you try to write concrete lore about a nebulous yet core concept that you previously handwaved for the sake of "it's cool if this happens"
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vagueiish · 4 months
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genuine question: how do i know if my oc is actually good or not?
or, maybe, 'well-developed and well-designed' rather than 'good'?
esp without feedback from others, lol, because it's hard enough putting snippets out there for funsies, im hesitant to put more out there if i'm just gonna be bringing a shitty stick figure glued to a popsicle stick to show and tell while everyone else is bringing like....meticulously crafted ball-joint dolls and lovingly made amigurumi and so on (/end crappy metaphor)
#everyone's ocs and tavs and such are lovely. it's kinda fun watching yall play#i wanna play too :(((#but not if my guy sucks#but i dont know if he actually sucks or if there's something there and im right to love him the way i do#idk man#im the worst at self-evaluation with this stuff#the default is to assume im failing at what i set out to do#(well my default is to assume I Suck at Everything but that mindset isnt helpful right?#so what am i setting out to do with this? and am i hitting it? or am i getting there? or am i failing? is probably more useful. idk)#(tho maybe 'am i missing the mark and how can i get there' is even more useful than 'am i failing?' but this isnt the point)#people have told me in the past that no. he doesnt suck. they liked reading about him#but if that were actually true then more people would like him. obviously.#but its actually a general question because if i can ever get out of my head and into my creative endeavors....#i'll need to create and design a lot of characters right? like.... i wanna do comics#i want to make my villain knitting circle dating sim#and if i cant even be sure the little guy i made for shits and giggles is any good#how can i expect to do something more in-depth???#i know the general answer is practice. but then if it turns out i am bad at Characters....#then i'll just practice the bad things#feedback is the answer but then that swings back around to i dont wanna just shove garbage in people's faces because thatd be cruel#so i dont know what to do. and all the while i'm just not doing anything and it's not productive and i'm aware#i know part of it is also 'feel the fear. show him off anyway' but i am!!!!!!#nobody is biting!!! and its because they hate hiiiiimmmmm/whiny baby mode#i mean. yall might see more of him bc i might actually write some things but god. nobody will probably bite with those either#ughh....#to the void with love
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dashiellqvverty · 7 months
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one thing people online are going to do is attribute things to taika waititi that he has literally nothing to do with (from that post abt wwdits where they are interviewing the SHOWRUNNER who is NAMED in the article and is very much not taika)
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faarkas · 2 years
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this wonderful template is by @/arcandoria :)
ramon - verde's first real relationship and love, they met at her gym while she was training and after being iced out for weeks, she agreed to hang out with him and things blossomed from there. he was good to her, a welcome distraction from the grief of losing her mother, and they only broke up after their relationship soured when she started to get involved with Militech and he slid deeper into unsavory Valentino activities.
landon - a fairly brief relationship built on ambition and manipulation, landon saw how much she enjoyed his accent and sense of humor and exploited it for as long as he could. they clashed over many things but there was a chemistry they had a difficult time ignoring. it ended when verde finally realized he was only using her for her connections and didn't actually love her.
goro - a relationship that started the night he plucked her from the landfill, they realized after some initial clashing that they share a lot of the same ideals and quirks. they quickly became close, only pulled apart when it finally came time to take care of the biochip. they reunited a little over a year later and have rarely been seen without the other since.
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fruitysoupy · 9 months
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🕳️
#vent#my brother really doesn't see me as a person does he#im allowed to be around as decoration for his personality#im allowed to be around if it serves him in some way#but I can't be a person I can't have opinions I can't have needs#I can't have problems im supposed to be his pillow to scream into and punch when he feels like it#I can't be unwell because I'm not a person#I'm a doll he can show around when he feels one way and toss against the wall when he feels another way#I think he actually hates me#he's so mean to me on a level that makes it hit much harder than other things#always assuming the worst about me#because im bad annoying a waste of space im loud and useless#unless I serve him#I listen to him vent I play therapist because I love him#I love my family and I want all of them to be okay and to be happy#and I've minimized myself to the point I don't know who I am anymore and neither do they#though im not so sure they even care#my mother is actively working on herself#she's in therapy#she's nicer to me now and a touch more considerate#and I appreciate it... but I'll never be able to forget what she and the others have done to me over the years#and it'll take much more than 8 weeks in a clinic to overwrite that survival strategy I developed as a child...#I feel like I'll never be whole again#like Ive lost myself forever...#my brother is ableist. he hates the neurodivergent which is mostly directed at my sister but also me unknowingly#he attacks me for my symptoms. judges me harshly and is just very mean in general#if I end up getting the autism diagnosis i am so scared of him finding out#it's strange because I love him he's my brother and we have fun but im also scared of him because I know what he's capable of and I know#what he's like when he's angry. I know how he used to laugh at me getting hurt as a child and how he would physically attack me for#expressing excitement around him. I repeat things I find funny or nice or just good in general like if someone says something funny I repeat
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skrunksthatwunk · 6 months
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not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine
#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you#she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them#she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even#change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake#and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy#like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip#but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over#just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat#it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have#cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me#like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff#but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him#with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him#god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it#having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly#much less play with him or take care of him#it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going#slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW#fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet#and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up.#rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell#i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE#AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH#sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more.#i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it#ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth
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silhouettecrow · 10 months
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 209
Adjective: Voracious
Noun: Churchyard
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Voracious: wanting or devouring great quantities of food; having a very eager approach to an activity
Churchyard: an enclosed area surrounding a church, especially as used for burials
#so a coworker of mine that ive been having quite a few various issues with the past few months seemingly got fired today#(i cant confirm he was fired but between the phrasing of his departure email and him not putting in a two weeks it seems like he was fired)#and it honestly feels like a massive weight has been lifted off of my chest#(despite knowing we still have a long way to go in terms of inclusivity as a whole organisation but im hopeful to make changes with that)#cos i know that our clients (at least legally) are going to be getting the best help possible between me and our other legal advocate#and im hoping that now that his (honestly) oppressive energy is gone the environment at the office will be much nicer to work in#im just worried about potentially getting overwhelmed or incredibly busy cos ill have to take his existing clients#and any new ones needing help in my specific service areas cos im now the only person serving these areas#but ill handle that if it happens#i just feel like i can breathe and that ill feel a lot more comfortable being myself at work#also our supervisor has been out all week while being on vacation so she is gonna come back on monday to a real big surprise#anyway sorry for the rant#but these prompts are lowkey my diary so kind of not sorry#anyhoo back to our regularly scheduled programming#the prompt gives the feeling of the 'churchyard' (whether the church or the cemetery) pulling people or souls or corpses in to feed on#and for me there is the added theme or element of abuse through the word 'churchyard' reminding me of the song of the same name by aurora#there is just a lot to play around with here#definitely more than there appears to be on the surface#aurora#aurora aksnes#aurora music#infections of a different kind#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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orcelito · 1 year
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also. what they dont tell you about being a sorcerer (5) bard (1) is that
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you get a F U C K ton of spells
#speculation nation#fang#d&d#and ALL!!!! of them are prepared#im used to playing a wizard with many many spells but u can only have a handful prepared at a time#fang can use Any of these at Any time (spell slots permitting)#and he got detect magic (unlimited) from his eldritch invocation (feat). and darkness from a shadow sorcerer feature#fang really is just all *finger wiggles* about his magic. he doesnt understand it. but BOY can he do a lot of it#he described today his fireball as 'if i think Really Hard and Point... i can make Big Things happen'#AGHHHHHH i love him so much tho. he's still so squishy but i love him sooo much#AND!!!!!!!!!! i have healing spells now too. thank god#5 sorcery points on top of all this. AND two bardic inspiration#fang really is just like. absolutely overflowing with magic. but super fucking casual about it#he does not!!! understand what he's doing!!!! he's just like playing the flute and feeling smth different with his magic#& he's just like 'Huh." decides to play around with that. and suddenly he knows 6 more spells#and he can HEAL!!!!!!!!! im so stoked about that lmfao#i did NOT take vicious mockery bc i already have Mind Sliver as a psychic damage cantrip AND chill touch. two damage cantrips#vicious mockery is kinda the iconic bard thing but just. idk minor illusion seemed more useful to me.#probably gonna keep it at 1 bard level at least until i get my shadow wolf. so im taking shadow sorcerer level next level (whever that is)#I WANT MY BIG PUPPYYYYYYYYYYYYY big boy loves to bite. i need him#i would have him if i didnt take bard level... but it's ok.... the versatility is worth it#fang is the most hilariously influential person that exists and everyone just has to deal with it#he walks around changing people's lives & he's just like 'eh dont worry about it' b4 leaving to continue on his way#tunnel vision. very task-focused. unless he gets distracted in which case it is tunnel vision on the distraction#he regularly went on swims in the fuckin ocean alongside the boat bc he's got a fancy cloak that lets him breathe underwater & he loves it#i literally love him so much guys i Cannot describe how much i love him#i wish his charisma was higher lol BUT it's ok. we just need to get to level 9 so i can increase smth (with sorcerer 8)#tho hmmm levels 2 and 3 bard look so good too... hmmmmm#difficult choices lol. ah well
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