#Incorrect VLD Quotes

[alien-slushie]

Lance: You carved open my heart! Can't just leave me to bleed!-

Keith, eating a fry: I asked if you wanted something from McDonald's like six times, and you didn't answer me! You lost your rights to complain!

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[shitty-voltron]

Lance: *walks into a door*

Keith: he’s so stupid. I can’t believe I’m gonna kiss him

Pidge: well you don’t have to

Keith: no I’m gonna

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[bluemantics]

Transcript quotes from a VLD ghost hunting au (in the style of The Office)

(Interviews)

Hunk: Keith and Lance decided to go ghost hunting last year. Keith wanted to find ghosts, but Lance just thought Keith was hot and was willing to follow him to shady places.

Lance: any place is a makeout spot if you have enough determination.

(show)

Keith: I’m taking out the EMF reader.

Lance: HA, an Emo Mother Fucker reader.

Keith: ….

(interviews)

Keith: Sometimes I feel like Lance doesn’t take this seriously.

(show)

Lance: Do you think if I start banging these pans together a ghost will yell at me to stop? loudly hits pans together

(Interviews)

Keith: I’m starting to think he doesn’t believe.

(interviews)

Lance: Oh, yeah. I never believed in ghosts. The things you do for hot men… unspeakable.

(show)

Keith: Ms. Petunia, if you can hear me, turn the flashlight on and off.

Lance: I could turn YOU on!

Keith: Sorry, what?

Lance: Uh, I was talking to the light

(interviews)

Lance: I was not talking to the light.

(show)

Keith: it looks like the ghosts aren’t active tonight.

Lance: DARN, guess we’ll have to go for dinner and a movie! What a shame.

Keith: I guess we can. Do you want to see the new horror film that we watched the trailer for?

Lance: …sure.

(interviews)

Lance: I hate horror.

(interviews)

Keith:

He hates horror, but if he wants to get in my pants that badly, he’ll have to endure “Blood on Shore 3” first.

*Someone speaks off camera*

Keith: Yeah, I know it’s a date. I just like fucking with Lance. I’ll kiss him at the end, he’s earned it.

(Later interviews)

Lance: my subtle plan worked!

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[paladudley]

Lance: Hey Keith, can you hold this egg for me?

Keith: Um, sure?

Lance: Thanks, don’t break it! I’ll be back.

*Two hours later*

Lance, returning from a mission: I’m back

Pidge: Did you tell Keith to look after an egg for you?

Lance: Yeah, how’d he go?

Pidge: Take a look for yourself

{Lance walks in on Keith laying on the couch eating popcorn, snuggled in blankets with the egg safely placed on a pillow on his lap with the movie ‘Chicken Run’ playing on the TV.}

Keith: What took you so long? I’ve been looking after this egg for hours! Hunk keeps on threatening to cook it.

Lance: Let him, I don’t need it anymore

Keith, gasping: *Puts his hands over the eggs nonexistent ears* I can’t believe you just said that!

Lance, laughing: Hunk makes some killer scrambled eggs though

Keith: Yeah, emphasis on “killer”

Hunk: IT’S AN EGG!

Keith: IT’S NOT JUST AN EGG -

IT’S MY EGG!

Lance: This test is getting a little out of hand…

Pidge: Ya think?

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[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

keith: shiro, do you want to see a video of my dance recital?

shiro: yeah!

keith, showing him the video: do you know which one is me?

shiro: of course i do! i can always tell, even when you were younger

shiro: youre always the one whose a half beat off!

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[tending-the-hearth]

Lance, throwing their head into Keith's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Keith, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

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[galraluver]

Krolia: Alright everyone, settle down! If we don't get to sleep soon we're going to hate ourselves in the morning

Kolivan and Antok: *in sync* I already hate myself

Krolia: *concerned* We're definitely talking about that tomorrow…

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[yandere-voltron]

Y/n: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me

Pidge: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Y/n: Yes!

Keith: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you

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[garfle-warfle-snick-vld]

Lance: im bleeding out in the middle of Walmart like a hashtag girlboss

Keith: what did you do

Pidge: WHAT

I love @gumbeee

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[lurking-leaf]

Keith: Was it a bad idea? Yes, very.

Keith: Do I regret it? No.

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[shitty-voltron]

Hunk: Keith, fuck marry kill: Lance, Allura and Pidge

Keith: kill Allura, kill Pidge and marry Lance

Keith: *looks intensely at Lance*

Lance: oh my god yes

The others:

Pidge: did they just get engaged...?

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[bluemantics]

Lance: babe, what’s that???

Keith, covered in space goo, holding a ten foot tall glowing spear in his left hand and a cup in his right: a smoothie.

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[paladudley]

*Power goes out*

Keith: Lance, can you go grab the flashlight from the kitchen?

Lance: but you’re the light of my life

Keith: Lance Charles McClain if you don’t get the flashlight I swear-

Lance: Okay fine Keith Yurak Kogane

Lance, shining the flashlight in Keith’s face: Happy?

Keith: No, the light of my life is blinding me

Lance: I knew it

Keith, smiling: Come on let’s get these lights back on

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[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

keith: why do americans celebrate red white and blue?

shiro: what?

keith: because those are the french colours? i thought americans were super patriotic about their own country

shiro: be quiet

shiro: if someone hears you they’re gonna beat you up

shiro: and then i will have to beat them up to protect you

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[awhoreintheory]

Keith, smiling softly around a campfire with the whole team + Krolia and Romelle: I never got to thank you all, for how understanding and supportive you were about my heritage... *a small (good natured) side eye aimed at Allura*

Lance: actually, it was a hard pill to swallow ngl

Keith, genuinely surprised bc Lance was THE most supportive and junk: being half Galra???

Lance, without missing a beat: being half Texan.

(Cue Pidge shrieking with laughter)

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[galraluver]

Kolivan: Regris, and Keith. Your mission is to find out what's happening and resolve the issue as swiftly as possible. If you don't succeed-

Kolivan: *pauses for dramatic effect*

Kolivan: You'll get no more snacks

Regris and Keith:...

Kolivan: That was a joke, I promise you can have snacks. Please just laugh

#Incorrect Galra Quotes #Incorrect Voltron Quotes #Incorrect VLD Quotes #Kolivan #VLD Kolivan #Regris #VLD Regris #Keith #VLD Keith #Blade of Marmora #BoM #Voltron AU Where Everybody Lives #Voltron Legendary Defender #Voltron #VLD #Jan 2024