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pixiesfz · 17 days

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cough syrup s.c x child reader!

apart of sunshine series!

plot: you get sick right before a big game

warning: sickness, appendicitis, vomiting, this is literally my experience when I got my appendix removed (I was 6)

You hadn't been feeling good since you got home from Kindergarten, your stomach hurt and your head was pounding, you hadn't even felt the need to eat your lunch Steph made you. You had never felt like this before.

You hadn't talked a lot to your friends or on the way home which was weird since you usually told Steph about your whole day and complained about the boys in your class.

You didn't like them.

"Did Jack annoy you today?"

"Hm" you grunted and Steph just nodded and furrowed her brows, you must be tired she thought.

You ran straight to your room when you got home, Calvin following you as you both sat on a bean bag.

Calvin seemed to know you didn't feel good as he licked your arm, sitting on your lap "Hi Calvy" you sniffled as the dog looked up at you.

Usually when you felt sick you told your mum but all she and all your aunties had been talking about for the last week were the 'conti' cup which you didn't know what it meant but you knew it had to do with her soccer career.

Lara used to talk about it sometimes, but she used a different word for it.

So you stayed quiet, a tear running down your eye every so often as you played with toys in your play house.

Steph noticed your quietness at home and got worried "Sunshine?" she called out to you and you quickly rubbed your eye and turned around with a soft smile "mummy?"

"Did someone say something to you at Kindergarten?" you shook your head "nope" you hummed and turned back to your doll house.

Steph sighed before walking over to you and bending down "you okay Sunshine?" she asked and you faltered, nodding your head quickly after.

Steph knew better.

"Sunshine what did I say about lying" she looked at you sternly before you looked down to your feet "to not do it" you mumbled and she nodded "exactly".

She placed her hand on your forehead before her eyes popped open "Sunshine your head is burning, are you sick?"

You nodded "head and tummy hurts"

"Why didn't you tell me? has it been hurting since Kindergarten?" Steph asked, panic setting in

"You have cunti cup tomorrow!"

Stephs eyes grew wider "Con-ti not..." she sighed "that."

Tears started to roll down your face, not bothering to act anymore "hurts" you whined "everything hurts!"

Steph nodded quickly picking you up "What hurts the most Sunshine?" Steph asked and you pointed to the right end of your stomach

Steph nodded, blowing out air.

She never liked seeing you in pain, and you were really in pain.

"Can I touch it?" Steph asked and you wiped away your tears and nodded.

You let Steph lay you down on the couch, Calvin sitting nearby as she lightly laid her hands on your stomach

"wrong side mummy!"

Steph winced "right, sorry Sunshine" she apologized before moving to your right side, a scream leaving your lips when she applied pressure.

"Hurts" you yell and Steph wiped her forehead "I know honey, I know"

Steph stood up, panic thriving within her body, this wasn't just any stomach bug, should she call the hospital?, local doctors?, Mini?

"Your whines grew as you started to struggle to lay still "Mummy!" you cried as she left to grab her phone "Sunshine did you eat today?"

"Wasn't hungry" you grumbled, laying your hand out for Calvin, hoping he could distract you from the pain in your stomach.

Steph was quick, typing your symptoms into an app she had downloaded since she got you and winced when she saw the answer she begged it wouldn't be.

appendicitis.

Quickly she ran to your room, grabbing more comfortable clothes and a water bottle, running inside the house, lastly grabbing Calvin and putting him outside before grabbing you which you screamed at.

"Where we going?" You asked as tears rolled down your cheeks "We're seeing the doctor" (hospital, but she didn't want to freak you out) she replied and you clung onto her before she reached the car and sat you down in your seat.

She looked up to your tear covered face as she did the buckle "You will be okay Sunshine" she told you, wiping your cheeks before closing the door and running to the drivers seat.

Your whines didn't stop on the way and Steph almost started crying herself, her blood pressure dropping whenever your cries grew louder.

"I called the doctor and we get to go straight in Sunshine" she told you, her voice croaky.

You had become silent now and Steph didn't know if that was better or worse as she parked the car, running out to grab you and go to the front desk.

You had taken yourself out of reality, almost getting used to the pain as you looked around.

Must be a new doctors, you thought as Steph discussed with the lady on the chair before you were placed on an uncomfortable bed and taken to a white and blue room, some painted fishes on the side as well.

Tonight had been a long night.

A man came in with a metal circle thingy as he discussed with Steph, trying to talk to you but you were too scared.

You hadn't made a sound at all until he placed his circle on your stomach, a scream leaving your mouth as he pursed his lips and nodded.

"It's good you came now, before it burst" he informed your mum but you widened your eyes "what?" you ask

burst.

What did that mean.

Steph held your hand, squeezing it tight as the man left again, telling you he would be back quickly

"Sunshine?" Steph called for you as you turned your head, tears falling down "mummy?" you questioned, your voice breaking Steph's heart

"You're going to have a little surgery-" "Lara used to have surgeries!" You tried to get up as you yelled but Steph stopped you, you turned to her again seeing that she also had tears running down her face.

"It's not scary, trust me I've done his before, hey even Calvin's done this before" she said and you relaxed

If Calvin can do it so could you, if Lara did them, so could you.

The doctor came back in, some nurses behind him as they grabbed your bed again, wheeling to another room where the man held a plastic mask.

"Do you like chocolate y/n"?"

You nodded and Steph smiled "chocolates your favourite isn't it Sunshine" You smiled "I like chocolate Ice-cream" you said and the doctor and nurses smiled "this is just like chocolate the man said before passing Steph the mask.

"You trust me Sunshine?" she ask and you nodded, the woman putting the mask around your head as you tasted chocolate, a warm smile coming across your cheeks.

"What about your game?" You mumbled, starting to feel tired

"I'll be with you Sunshine."

When you woke up in your room you were surrounded by a lot of happy aunties with gifts in their hands.

"Did you win cunty cup?"

Steph didn't even bother correcting you this time, just happy you were feeling fine.

#woso #woso soccer #woso community #woso x reader #matildas #steph catley x reader #steph catley #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #sunshine

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sanakimohara · 4 months

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“BRING ME A DREAM” B. C.

{ MDNI }

++++++

Chan wasn't sure what compelled him to wake up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat settling on his bare skin and his head spinning with worry.

Pleasant would be the last word he'd use to categorize the disruption.

It took him several minutes, deep breaths, and a gentle neck roll to compose himself before he could settle his body down next to your soundly sleeping one.

Chan was surprised you hadn't stirred awake from his sudden movements but was grateful your peaceful sleep hadn't been disturbed due to whatever had bothered him.

"Shit," he whispered hoarsely, groaning quietly as his head and upper neck throbbed with a dull pain. He was used to discomfort in the area but couldn't pinpoint why it was occurring since he'd been asleep in a comfortable position for most of the night.

With a heavy exhale and another tired groan, Chan sat up in bed, careful not to shift the covers too much to avoid waking you, and when he was sure you were undisturbed, he hung his head to try and release the tension there.

The pain just seemed to grow. Chan bit back a mirage of curses as tiny pricks of tension morphed into shallow aches in his upper back. He breathed deeply, brows furrowing in frustration as his body began to combat what was bothering him, remaining like that for some time before he felt the bed shift and your soft hands reaching out to touch his back.

Chan instinctively flinched, grunting as your fingertips trailed to his shoulders and rubbed tight circles in the aching muscles. "Thank you, baby.." he breathed in contentment, visibly relaxing his body into yours that'd unfurled from the heavy covers on his bed.

You smiled sleepily, fully sitting up on your knees behind him as his head lulled back onto your shoulder. "No need to thank me, Channie…is it your neck again?" you ask him quietly, doing your best to help without hurting him further.

Your gentle hands and soft voice bring Chan a sense of peace, and he mumbles, "Yes," as his eyes slide shut while he fully welcomes you, massaging the affected spot. "Mmm," you hum in understanding, taking great care in helping him, even while half asleep, but that didn't matter to you when it came to aiding him.

He does so much for you; he'd do everything for you if he could, and despite already being burdened with the life of an idol -leader, producer, and all-around artist- he still needed a helping hand himself.

Even if he refused help most of the time.

Moments like this, being able to return the same devotion to Chan and witnessing firsthand how your dedication to him could be shown in the smallest of gestures, really did make your heart feel full.

Chan was simply glad you were his; he took pride in taking care of you, but he wasn't sure how to comprehend it whenever you'd return the favor. He was used to being in a caretaker position, but you always made it clear to him that his well-being is also your first priority.

There's no in-between.

No hesitation & not a single complaint from you.

Ever.

Deep down, he admired and loved you even more for that. So, when you'd taken the time to massage and work the pain out of his body at 3 in the morning with the sweetest smile, he was already formulating a reward for you.

It's the least he could do; even if you didn't expect anything in return, Chan couldn't help but appreciate your efforts.

His eyes peered at you, watching your delicate features scrunch up slightly in concentration as you kneaded your small hands into his shoulders, paying particular attention to each area that bothered him the most. You had done this for him before -granted, you'd also enlisted the help of a massage gun at the time- and managed to memorize the points in his upper body that required particular focus.

Chan observed you intently, wincing only once or twice when you had to work out a sore part with some force, but ultimately, you completed your task with no griping from him.

After ten minutes, you stopped putting pressure on his body and checked to see if he felt any better with a hopeful smile on your face. "Did that help?" You ask sweetly, kissing his shoulder blade lightly and letting your head settle into the crook of his neck. Chan hummed. The tension he'd felt earlier had nearly gone after your hard work, and his mind was no longer hyper-focused on relieving the pain.

"Yes, I feel much better, baby girl. Thank you.." he mumbled, dark eyes shifting to stare at your pleased expression and his lips curling into a charming smile as you blinked slowly to hide your tiredness.

"I'm glad I could help…" your hands drag down from his shoulders to travel the expanse of his back, grazing every dip of muscle he possessed before you lazily wrapped your arms around his toned torso. Chan shivered under your warm fingertips, his skin still cool from the cold sweat he'd endured during his sleep, and you flashed him a worried look as his large body reacted to your touch.

"Am…am I hurting you?" concern is evident in your voice, and you quickly remove the light weight of your body off of his. Chan shakes his head, laughing softly at your panicked state as he reaches behind to pull you back to him. "You could never hurt me, princess. I'm fine," he reassures you, eyes steady on your doe-like stare before trailing down to your plush lips that were parting to say something.

"Are you sure, Channie? If you're still not feeling alright, I can- mhmm!"

Your babbling was silenced the instant Chan pressed his lips to yours, drowning out all your worries with his tongue sliding against yours and his hands finding their respective places around your throat and lower back.

His touch burned right through the thin fabric of his shirt that you wore to bed, the heat bounding straight to your core and causing a chorus of soft moans to slip from you as he fully turned his body towards you. Chan swallowed every sound you made, chasing your lips with a particular urgency you could only compare to devotion, and your mind began to melt as he pressed for another hungry kiss after the next.

His hands traveled all over you, following every edge and curve you had to offer him, and your face heated up with every firm grope he gifted you. Chan was usually never this reactive or desperate for you. It was always the other way around, you pining for him and praying he'd let you touch and taste him as much as your little heart desired…

Now…it felt as if Chan was begging you to let him have that same privilege, and your mind was going into a lustful mush from the thought.

He pulled away from the kiss, letting you pant for air as he went to work on marking up your unblemished neck. Your body instinctively pressed closer to his, hands flying to tangle in his hair and gently tug on the soft strands as he nipped at your sweet spot.

"A-Ahm …Channie…" you yelped quietly as he abused the sensitive area, smirking against your skin while your head lulled to the side to give him better access. You pushed on his chest lightly, trying your best not to let him cloud your mind with desire when you both needed a good night's rest, but he carefully slapped your hand away from stopping him.

Chan lifted his head from your neck, eyes half-lidded as he took in the mixture of emotions flooding yours, and even then, he thought you looked purely angelic.

You could be so anxious to please and willing to take care of him while fighting the urge to let him pleasure you.

An anomaly in itself, really.

He found it cute and endearing.

"We have to get up…early," you try to reason with him, eyes lowering as you back away to lay back down, but Chan was one step ahead of you. He leaned forward, capturing your lips in another kiss to trap you underneath him and prevent you from inching further away.

You relaxed immediately, legs spreading wide open for him to lie between as he held himself up with both arms placed on either side of your head. He was careful not to crush you, opting to steal your breath away with heavy kisses and rolling his hips down against your core.

A whine tumbled from your mouth as he created a dizzying friction between your cunt and his hardening cock.

God, you were so glad he slept naked. It made it so much easier and enticing to let him fuck you.

Chan bit back a moan feeling how wet you were already, eyes narrowing down at the smug smirk on your swollen lips, and he had half a mind to make it disappear and replace it with the cock drunk smile he knew you'd never fail to show him.

However, Chan decided to bide his time and only ground against your greedy cunt harder until you were blushing and squirming underneath for more.

"Daddy…please.." you whimper as the heat in your walls builds to new heights, clenching around nothing and growing slicker from the promise of him stretching you out. Your eyes rolled slightly from the thought, and he chuckled at how desperate you were, "Please, what, princess?" He spoke to you softly, eyes trained on yours with a familiar condescending aura, and you had to look away to keep from blushing any harder.

"Please….fuck me…p-please." You swallow thickly and roll your hips to meet his to convince him your plea wasn't unreasonable, but Chan simply smiled down at you before placing a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your trembling body.

You whined and whimpered as the fleeting pass of his plump lips lowered to your waist, his hands pushed the hem of his shirt up to reveal your lower half, and the cold air hitting your skin paired with his breath fanning over your pelvis drove you insane.

Chan halted his movements, peering up to catch the sight of you biting back another longing plead and raising your hands to cover your flushed face.

You were on edge and feeling vulnerable under his gaze.

Chan took in all the shameful little noises and faces you were trying so hard to hide with a coy smirk, hands now occupied with tenderly groping the underside of your plush thighs, and his head resting against the inside of your right.

His hair tickled your skin, followed by the graze of his lips as he placed a few kisses in random spots to hear you groan softly, and he only stopped teasing when you reached down tentatively to run a hand through his hair.

"Wanna take care of you," Chan breathed the words against your skin, eyes closing as he felt the invisible chills rise through you, and all you could do was nod slowly while another shuddering moan leaped from your mouth.

At this rate, you'd come just from the sound of his voice, and that wouldn't be the worst thing in your opinion, but Chan demolished that idea by flicking his tongue across your folds.

The sudden attention to your entrance caused you to yelp in slight surprise and pure satisfaction, rolling your hips up for more, and your head pressing back into his pillow when he offered another tantalizingly slow pass of his tongue over your dripping cunt.

Chan smiled at your reaction, not wasting another second teasing you and using two fingers to spread you open for him to place a kiss on your clit. You were losing control under him, unable to stay still as he lapped at your drooling cunt, and circled his tongue around the ever-so-sensitive bundle of nerves in practiced patterns.

Soon, you couldn't keep quiet, your soft moans filling the air, fueling his every move. You could feel the pressure mounting in your core rapidly, and when Chan took the time to spit on your entrance before effortlessly dragging your hips closer to his face and wrapping your legs around his neck, you were bound to see stars.

He never failed to put his all into devouring you. If anything, Chan took immense pride in the task and wouldn't stop until you were overstimulated and your cum was all he could taste.

You let your head roll to the side as he let you grind against his face, gentle groans thundering through his chest each time your back arched from the bed, which told him you were close to unraveling.

Chan unwrapped your legs from around his neck, pushing them up towards your chest and putting all his focus into delving his tongue in and out of your leaking walls.

The slight invasion had you feigning for the stretch of his cock, and a love-drunk smile inched its way onto your face as he moaned at the taste of you. "You always taste so good, princess…" his voice was lowered, heavy with want, as he held your legs open for more access to your slick cunt.

"You're gonna cum in daddy's mouth like a good girl?" he mused at you, diving right back to your fluttering entrance, setting an agonizing pace with his tongue flicking over your clit and into your warm core. The feeling had your head spinning, and you almost didn't respond to him as a wanton whimper fell from your parted lips, but Chan elicited a reply with a soft slap against your thigh. You flinched at the subtle sting of his hand and nodded weakly as a quiet "yes sir" dripped off your tongue.

Chan hummed in approval, sending vibrations through you and pushing you over the edge in seconds. Your warm arousal flooded his mouth in waves, coating his skilled tongue as your body visibly trembled, hands fisting the sheets with every swift lick he did to savor your release.

Your high was spiraling down, but he wouldn't stop, holding you right to his mouth as he coaxed another orgasm out of you.

"D-daddy s'too much…s-stop-Ahm!" You tried to draw yourself away from him, but Chan held you down with a certain amount of force you knew was impossible to fight. Tears built in your eyes as he swirled his tongue in quick circles around your clit, slipping two thick fingers as far as possible into your soaking cunt, and curling them just right to hit your g-spot repeatedly.

Your mouth fell open, gaze fixed on the ceiling as it blurred over with white-hot pleasure, and your mind finally lost traction in reality as Chan forced you to cum in his mouth again.

Breathing was a struggle, and every time you gasped for a breath, he'd steal it away with another flick of his tongue or a precise thrust of his fingers. It was too much for you, the knot tightening in your tummy so fast you couldn't comprehend the feeling, and before you could steady yourself, another wave of euphoria coursed through you.

Your brows furrowed, a hand flying to clasp over your mouth as your cum spilled onto his hand, and an obnoxiously loud moan leaped from your throat. Chan finally pulled away from you, leisurely dragging his fingers from the sweet confines of your cunt and reclaiming his position hovering above you. Your legs fell open for him, cunt dripping onto his sheets with a steady stream of cum and his spit. He glanced down to admire the view before refocusing on your tear-stained face.

You couldn't stop crying, lost in the lingering sensation he caused, and your need for logical behavior long forgotten. Chan adored that unconscious stupidity swirling behind your eyes, knowing he was the cause and that you were beyond refusing his attention.

He tilted his head, smiling as he removed your hand from covering your agape mouth, and you shivered as his fingers fully encircled your wrist to pin it beside your head. A blush engulfed your damp cheeks as Chan lowered his head to kiss you deeply, whispering to you right before his lips connected with yours.

"Don't hide your moans from me, little one…I want to hear you…"

You can't even begin to formulate a response as his tongue dominates your own, making you taste yourself and drowning out the whimpers you fail to restrain. Chan caresses the side of your face, swiping his thumb across your cheeks to wipe away your tears while the other intertwined with the hand he'd been holding down.

Your tiny fingers fit so well in between his larger ones, squeezing them with the bit of strength you had as he started to grind his rigid cock into your eager core. His kisses became feverish the longer his length slid between your folds, and you bucked your hips to follow his rhythm.

He broke away from the kiss, head dropping to the crook of your neck as he groaned in ecstasy. Your free hand ran up Chan's back, dipping with every flex of muscle until your fingertips reached the back of his head, and you tangled your digits through the soft tresses as he held your hand tighter.

"Wanna take care of you," Chan repeated his earlier statement, falling into a daze the more you doted on him, and you smiled before nuzzling your nose against his temple.

“You do daddy…you always will…” you whisper in his ear lovingly, and he exhales slowly into your neck, placing a chaste kiss on your shoulder as he nudges the head of his cock past your folds. You cry out from the unwarranted stretch, accustomed to a warning before he slides inside you but not given one as he buries his length in you with one sharp thrust.

The tears come rushing back, and your nails dig into the back of his hand as he shifts his hips in shallow circles. "D-daddy…w-wait..mmm," you whine, wanting a moment to adjust, but give up as the tip of his cock reaches your cervix and replaces the twinge of pain in your core with shockwaves of pleasure.

Chan grunted as you clenched around him, your cunt conforming to every detail and drenching his cock with your slick. "There you go, sweetheart. Take me like a good girl…" he praised you amid his own moans, only able to hear the shaky, high-pitched ones you let out as he picked up the pace of his thrusts and let your small body rock against his.

The hand you had entangled with his went limp as he played with your fingers, ever so gentle with your soft fingertips that had relieved his stress moments ago, but the overwhelming repetition of his cock pounding itself into your spot relentlessly overshadowed the sweet gesture.

Two very contrasting feelings that encompassed Chan's personality perfectly.

He could be the sweetest, clingiest, and most dependable person you knew. At other times, he was the epitome of strength, control, and confidence.

He quickly became the only man you could rely on to make you feel safe, wanted, and most of all…loved.

In every aspect possible, he loved you and intended to show you that now and for the rest of his life.

A smile graced your lips as the realization dawned on you; in the fog of lust, you could still feel how much Chan cared for you, and that alone had your core aching with another climax. He felt the change in your body, saw the way your eyes slid closed in unfiltered ecstasy, and the way your breathing lost stability.

His fingers laced through yours again, the hand on your face traveling down your leg to hook it around his waist, which gave him a new angle to take advantage of.

"Right there.." you mewled as he hit an unfamiliar sweet spot, sending a shiver down your spine, and your cunt gushing slightly when he honed in on it. "Right there…" Chan growled in your ear, losing focus for a second as your cunt suffocated him, and your hand found a purchase on his bicep.

Your nails dug into his skin, helping to ground you as he pulled all the way out just to slam back into you more profoundly than before. "Yes…y-yes.." you drawled your answer out, forgetting how to speak as his cock twitched inside of you and effectively added to your excitement. "N' gonna cum…daddy p-please can I cum?…" your soft whine fills his ears, and as he looks into your teary doe eyes, he's compelled to give you anything you want.

"Yes, come for me, Princess…" Chan groaned lowly, having to hold himself steady above you as the pressure in his body reached its peak, his thrusts quickening to animalistic speed as you let him fuck you over the edge. "T-thank you.." is all you're able to utter as your body arches to meld into his, soft tummy brushing flush against his abs, and your cunt milking every single drop of his seed when it spills from his tip.

Chan halted his hips, burying his cock to the base so you'd have no choice but to accept it all, and you comply with a dreamy smile on your face.

He wanted to take a quick picture of you, wishing to possess a memory of you in this exact state for his personal use. You just looked so brilliant, all fucked out and docile with his cum safely nestled inside your womb.

You're panting softly, trying hard to keep your eyes open, but having a terrible time fighting your exhaustion. Chan carefully shifted his hips, drawing a sleepy moan from you and smiling at the sound. The hand he'd interwoven with yours drew back, pushing fallen strands of your hair away from your face as he laid down and guided your body to rest on his.

"Mmm, pull out, Channie.." you pout, still feeling his cock comfortably concealed in your fluttering cunt. He shook his head, adjusting to lay on the pillows properly before saying anything in response.

"We are going to sleep like this tonight, baby doll. It'll help me sleep…" he emphasized his decision with a subtle thrust. You whimpered at the definitive gesture, a half moan half yawn slipping past your lips, and you decided trying to change his mind wouldn't be possible in a state like the one you were in.

So, you stayed just as he positioned you, humming in delight as he kissed the top of your head while pulling the covers over you both and wrapping an arm around your waist while the other draped over his closed eyes.

"Thank you for always taking care of me, baby girl…" Chan mumbles into your hair, smiling when you hum softly and respond politely, "You're welcome, Daddy.."

+++++

Feel like I’m lacking in my writing lately but idk… 🖤

#Spotify #skz #stray kids #skz smut #bang chan #stray kids x reader #bang chris #skz imagines #bang chan smut #skz x reader #chan skz #christopher bang

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lucyrose191 · 5 months

Text

NO LONGER HIS| T.WOLFF

Pairing; Toto Wolff x Ex!wife!reader

Summary; Toto now has to face the consequences of his actions that tore your family apart.

Warnings; angst, heartbreak

F1 Master List

You loved him more than anything, supported him through everything and sacrificed way more than you should have.

You had given him your all but it hadn’t been enough.

Your family hadn’t been enough for him.

He had made you feel like a queen the entire time you were married; you couldn’t deny that there were hardships when he was travelling the world and you were left to deal with your own heavily demanding job whilst also raising your son, but even through that you had never expected the heartbreak he had caused you.

You had never in your life thought that Toto could break you the way he did but it was really just a lesson learnt that you don’t really know someone as well as you think you do.

That night when he came home you could immediately tell that something was wrong, that something had happened and so you had put Jack to bed early before going back downstairs to ask him what the problem was.

You would never forget the words he muttered that night, they still replayed in your head over and over again, tormenting you sleep and acting like a rain cloud hovering over your head as you tried to go about your day.

"I slept with Lara."

Your heart had dropped as he spoke those words, it was as though the entire world had came crashing down onto your body.

You knew Lara.

Lara, his assistant that had looked you straight in the eye each time they spoke and treated you with nothing but kindness.

She had been very kind. Kind enough to fuck your husband.

You didn’t speak, simply stared at him as you processed the situation. Strangely, you didn’t feel anger, you felt many things; sadness, disappointment, loads and loads of betrayal but no anger because you were never one to get angry. Seemingly even when the man in front of you had torn your family apart.

The remorse was clear as day on his face but it made you feel nothing, you had no forgiveness for him.

That night, Toto had crawled into your cold bed, his chest heavy when you didn’t subconsciously turn over and cuddle into him, instead you remained facing away for him, body rigid and uncomfortable.

The next morning, Toto had woken to an empty bed and an empty house. You had risen at some point during the night and quietly packed your bags and left, taking Jack with you.

On his nightstand, you had left him a note.

The divorce papers are on the dining table, I don’t want anything so all you need to do is sign. I’ll be in touch about co-parenting schedules.

I hope she was worth breaking our family apart

It had taken four lines for him to realise the severity of what he had done.

It has taken four words for you.

Travelling around the world with your ex husband wasn’t ideal but since your job was flexible, only needing to make the occasional trip back to England to go into the office, it made sense to do it.

It was painful in the beginning, more than painful but it allowed Toto to remain with Jack and you weren’t the type of person to stop your son seeing his father just because of the pain he caused you.

Toto may have committed the ultimate sense of betrayal but that didn’t change the fact that he was the best father in the world to your son.

So here you were, a year later walking into the Mercedes garage, now the ex wife of Toto Wolff; no longer did the team call you Mrs Boss or Mrs Mercedes out of respect to you, it really wasn’t hard for them to understand what had happened since shortly after Toto fired his assistant the news of your divorce became public.

Sometimes members of the team still couldn’t look at him without wanting to punch him in the face or question what the fuck was wrong with his brain to cause him to lose the kindest woman in the world.

It had been shocking to them when they heard the news of the two of you parting ways, after seeing you interact as a couple over the years, they witnessed nothing but unconditional love and happiness but it just shows that you never really know what’s happening behind closed doors.

You were greeted by a series of smiles and hellos, the team loved you to pieces as you always treated them with the utmost respect and politeness, even offering to help with what you had the skill set for.

You glanced around the garage, easily setting your eyes on Toto’s 6ft 5 frame, immediately walking in his direction, Jack resting on your hip with his head on your shoulder.

It still hurt to see him after all of the time spent apart and getting over him, you were aware that you would always love him but even still the heartbreak would possibly never leave and you knew it was time for you to move on from what you thought was a great love, it was time for you to start over and put yourself first.

Bono noticed you walking over and quickly excused himself from his boss to give you privacy.

Toto turned and saw you walking over to him, still as beautiful as ever, even more so with your handsome little boy by your side, his bag on your shoulder.

"Hey," he greeted, reaching his arms out for Jack who leaned forward into him.

Everytime Toto looked at you he was slapped in the face with guilt, knowing he deserved to feel more than that for the pain he caused you.

"Hi, are you positive you’re able to have him here? I know how busy you can get around here." You asked for the hundredth time in the past couple of days.

"Don’t worry, everyone loves him here and I’m not too busy today so we’ll be fine. What are you doing anyways?" You barely asked him to have Jack during her scheduled hours, you always had him when you were meant to have him, unlike Toto who was always rearranging times.

"I’m going on a date and didn’t want to leave him with just anyone, I was going to cancel if you couldn’t so I’m glad you can, I really appreciate it." You smiled, a tad excited for the date, not noticing the way Toto had stiffened because of your words.

I’m going on a date.

"I should really get going, the last thing I want is to be late. I’ll pick him back up straight after, thanks again." He zoned back as he heard your goodbye but was still riddled with shock to say anything and by the time he had registered everything you had already started walking away so all he could do was simply stare until you were out of sight.

He should’ve expected it really, he hadn’t, but he should have.

It had been a year now and no man would turn down the opportunity to be in the company of a woman so rare.

"Who’s shit in your coffee?" Toto jumped, his grip momentarily tightened on Jack as he turned around, coming face to face with Lewis.

"What?" Toto mumbled, way too distracted to listen to his driver’s question.

Lewis tilted his head at his boss. "What’s wrong with you? Was that Y/N I seen earlier?"

Toto nodded.

"Right…" Lewis eyed him weirdly. "Well I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone pull a face like yours after a conversation with her."

"She’s going on a date," there was a bite to his words that wasn’t heard very often but the idea of you with another man made him sick.

"Wow! Good for her!" Toto glared at him. "What? You aren’t jealous, are you?" Lewis laughed.

"I’m not jealous." Toto muttered like a petulant child.

Lewis shook his head in disbelief. "You have no right to be jealous, Toto. Look, you’re a good man and a great friend but what you did to her was unforgivable. She carried your child for nine months, then had to adjust to be a parent by herself in those first five months because you’re always working and you payed her back by sleeping with your assistant. You lost one hell of a woman, she’s one of a kind, you really cannot be surprised that she’s been asked out on a date, any man would want a woman like her."

Lewis was right, Toto knew he was. You were a one of a kind woman and he had no right to be jealous or annoyed by the fact that you were moving on. Especially when it was his fault that you were now divorced.

It was his fault you were seeing another person, he should be happy that you were no longer consumed by the hurt of his actions but all he could think about was the fact that he had officially lost you now and there was most definitely no way back.

You were no longer his to love because loving him had brought you a pain like no other.

#formula one #motorsport #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff #toto wolff x oc #toto wolff x you #toto wolff x y/n #toto wolff fanfic #toto wolff fluff #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fanfiction #formula one x reader

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myouicieloz · 6 months

Text

Heads will roll

Kim Minjeong x aespa 5thmember!reader

Synopsis: Your girlfriend promised you it was ok for you to match with your best friend, Yuna, for the upcoming Halloween party. However, with how she’s behaving all night, you simply had to drag her to and empty room and punish her.

Warnings: smut. sub!minjeong x dom!reader

Word count: 4.4k lol sorry

Notes: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! I’ve tried my best but the verbs might still be all wrong… I hope u enjoy, tho!! ^^ i rlly like halloween kisses mwuah

You spent the whole evening apart from your best friends and bandmates, shooting your solo pictures for the group’s latest comeback. Since you were the last one to do so, you asked them to get back to the dorm and get ready for Ryujin’s party without you. You’d see each other soon enough, anyway, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

They sent you countless pictures of them getting ready, and your heart ached to be making funny group memories with them, instead of taking a thousand pictures in a cold studio. It was for work, though, so you’d just have to deal with it.

After what it seemed like ages, your photoshoot was finally over, and you quickly made your way to the dorm to shower and get ready. It sucked to do your makeup by yourself, since Giselle always did it for you, and to not curl Ningning’s hair just as she liked it, but it was either that or you’d all be terribly late for the party, and no one would have that.

Ryujin’s Halloween party was one of the most expected events of the year, so, naturally, no one would want to be late. The girl knew how to host a party— it always had sickening decor, lots of creative and delicious drinks and, most important, secrecy. None of what you did ever got leaked, to ensure the guests always had a good time.

Which you always, always did.

“Woah!” You whistled as you entered Ryujin’s living room, getting the attention of your bandmates. They smiled at you, waving and calling you over.

The four girls were impeccable, each one looking just as gorgeous as ever: Giselle was dressed as a sexy jaguar, wearing a tight jumper with little feline ears; Ningning opted to go as a corpse bride, although her bloodied, ripped wedding dress barely reached her knees; Karina, as a pirate, hat carefully placed in her hands; and at last, your sweet girlfriend, looking lavish as Alice in Wonderland.

You smiled at the sight of her beautiful face, promptly reaching out to hug her, but Winter was having none of it. She didn’t push you, naturally, but her face was all flustered, and she looked livid, frowning as she checked you out.

“Is that really why you didn’t match with me?” Winter asked, offended. She was judging your Lara Croft costume with hard eyes, even though they lingered on the leather belt you wore for a tad too long. There were fake guns attached to them, too, and your hair was braided into two elaborate pieces all by yourself, your skillfulness making the hairstyle neat and composed, not a single strand out of place.

“We’ve had this conversation before.” you reminded her, ever so patient— being used were used to her defensiveness. Besides, you knew you looked good; a little harsh look from your girlfriend wasn’t going to smash out your confidence, “I had already promised Yuna I’d match with her. She arranged our costumes and everything months ago, remember?”

Winter rolled her eyes, murmuring something too low for you to hear, but visibly still annoyed, regardless of your explanation.

You did warn your girlfriend that you’d be matching with your best friend for Halloween, just like you always did ever since you could remember. However, Winter hoped you’d notice her subtle signs and realize she wanted you to match with her, as a couple, instead. After all, it was your first Halloween together, and Winter wanted it to be special.

“You look beautiful, by the way.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She brushed past you, scoffing. You could tell she was very much pissed by the way she stomped through your friends, mixing herself a drink with too much alcohol in it, as she completely turned her back to you.

It was quite unusual for her to drink, but you’ve gotten on her nerves enough to make Winter want to relieve some stress. It bothered her to have you choosing Yuna-subaenim over herself, your girlfriend, no matter how hard she tried to shake the venomous feeling off.

Naturally, Winter knows it’s silly to feel this insecure and jealous over a stupid costume, specially since you and Yuna have been friends since your rookie days— and you’ve only been dating for a couple of months.

Nonetheless, Winter can’t help but to be sulky besides Karina, downing her cup in a few, long gulps. She doesn’t even dislike Yuna, even though she wasn’t exactly friends with the girl, either. Winter found her kind and lovable enough, with her long hair and composed, yet bubbly remarks.

It simply unsettled your girlfriend, to see you matching with Yuna when she was so excited about your first Halloween together. You were Winter’s first partner, and the thought of wearing matching outfits had her all month wondering what to pick. There were just so many cool options, and she was so excited… Which was why having you mention Yuna had already bought you identical costumes— just like she did every year, as long as Winter could remember, — was like a bucket of cold water being thrown in her head.

Of course, had your girlfriend told you wearing couple outfits to the party was that important to her, you would’ve simply brushed Yuna off, claiming you’d comply with your girlfriend’s wishes this year. However, she said nothing, so you naturally didn’t think much of it, brushing it off.

However, Winter felt a bitter taste in her mouth as she stared at you and Yuna, looking pretty much like twins if it weren’t for you towering over the girl, hair much longer and darker. It was as though she were fighting her first battle, a silent, passive one with your best friend, and she had just lost.

Winter really wasn’t going to hide her pout for the rest of the night. She’d allow herself that, at least.

Your girlfriend behaves like nothing but a fucking brat the whole afternoon.

She makes sure to be extra touchy with people— much unlike her nature, laughing hard and smiling at whatever it is that Jaehyun was saying. The boy was as boring as they came, and she’d stopped listening to his ramble minutes ago. Now, her eyes were trained on you, with every action calculated to bring you to the edge. From the way her slick fingers traced his skin, to her leaning to listen better, since the music is so loud, isn’t it?

You let her be, allowing Winter to celebrate her little tantrums alongside her members. Despite her obvious confrontation with you, she genuinely seems to be enjoying herself: laughing, drinking and joking with the girls and other close friends on the dance floor. So you let her have her little victory, observing from afar as you enjoy your night just the same; Even though your eyes narrow once you feel her subtly— almost unnoticeably, ducking from your touch, when you join the girls after hanging out with your other friends for a while.

In fact, Winter’s cold shoulder gave you plenty of time to think about the ways you’d punish her for her foolish behavior. You licked your lips at the thought of having little Alice in Wonderland all spread open just for you, crying as you deny her orgasms over and over until her pretty, abused cunt is all red and sore, drenching and clenching over the slightest brush of your fingers. It’d be such a heavenly sight: the girl on all fours, screaming and pleading for you to touch her anywhere, to do anything to her or else she’d explode.

However, you remain composed, your face giving none of your impurities away as you twist the ice in your whiskey and patiently listen to whatever funny story is being told by Chaeryeoung in the corner you all stand. You could feel the avalanche of thoughts and ideas going over and over through your mind, aching to make your girlfriend wither and destroy her petite body, as you made sure to let her know who possessed her in every way.

Meanwhile, Winter was walking through a dangerous path, she knew it as much. The feeling of your eyes poking wholes on her back was dense enough to send electric shocks through her entire body, and she was well aware of you watching her every move. She smiled to herself, glad to have your full attention despite feeling like such a loser, earlier. The thought of being punished for all of her bratty actions, too, aroused her perhaps a bit too much to keep her from being good. So she closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and smiled again, humming to herself as she knew her night was barely getting started.

“Hey, if you’d like we could, ahn, keep our conversation somewhere quieter…” Winter heard Jaehyun say, lips dangerously close to her ear. She was about to brush him off when he was abruptly shoved backwards, and soon enough she felt a strong grip on her waist.

She couldn’t contain a smile, hearing your harsh voice echoing from above her tiny frame.

“I suggest you keep your _hands_ to yourself, subaenim, if you want them intact.” You growled, turning your girlfriend to you as you pushed her upstairs, opening doors until you found an empty room. You shoved Winter on the bed without delicacy, smiling slightly to see her bounce a little on the mattress, in response to your touch. She was so petite—even now, staring at you behind her lashes.

“Fucking whore.” You cursed, taking your time unbuckling your numerous belts as she stared at you, licking her lips at the sight of your hands putting on work. She needed them on herself, immediately. “Throwing yourself at that fucker like a cheap slut. I guess that is just what you are, right?” You said, gripping her face. “A cheap fucking slut.”

Winter’s pupils were as blown out as yours, and her heart was beating so loud she was sure it echoed loudly through the bedroom. It was so hot for her to have you like this: mad out of your mind, handling her like a doll. It was a deep contrast from your caring, worried nature, one that she loved to experience from time to time. And the best part was that she got to have this feral side of you all to herself. You were hers, and hers alone.

No stupid fucking costume would change that.

She nodded as best as she could, since your touch was strong in order to keep her still.

“Say it.”

“I’m just a cheap slut.” Her reply came immediately, as Winter’s eyes remained locked on your face.

You kissed her deeply in response, exploring all the possible places of her mouth. Your hands went down her neck, blocking her airways just enough to make your girlfriend sigh, lightheaded.

“Perfect, baby.” You praised, sucking on her pulse point. “And who owns you?”

Winter’s hands found their way to yours, even though her touch wasn’t meant to make you stop.

She simply had to feel you, to have your skin on hers. It was a necessity to taste you and to have you taste her, too. It was taking you too long to touch her, already: she was feeling like her whole body was going to explode.

“You, unnie.” She breathed.

You stopped your work on her neck, now sucking at her earlobe as you whispered. “Just that? I’m starting to think you don’t want me to do anything to you at all; you just wanted to fuck that stupid ass guy to piss me off.”

She whined as you distanced yourself, opening her legs so you could place yourself between them. She looked like a painting, with her shoulder-length hair all disheveled and flustered face, trying to gather her breath and her thoughts. You allowed her to do so, squeezing and brushing your hands up and down her thighs while waiting for her next move.

As if Winter could ever concentrate with you touching her like that.

Pulling you by your pants—she couldn’t help but to look for your belt, biting her cheek to keep a smile from adorning her face as she found it in your hands, already—she pleaded. “Please, mommy,” She opened her legs even more, with her hands on your neck to kiss you again, “I’ve been so bad tonight… please, please punish me.”

You smiled, thinking about all the ways you’d ruin her through the night. She was so beautiful, so eager to surrender herself to you completely. It warmed your heart with both desire and lust, to know you had her to yourself.

“You’ll be well punished, Minjeongie. Don’t worry,” You promised, leaving wet kisses against her shoulders. “I’ll ruin you, so you’re reminded to not even look at anyone else, my love. You’re fucking mine.”

As you shared another wet, lustful kiss, Minjeong couldn’t help but to feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

You interlock her wrists with one of your belts, wiggling it to make sure it wasn’t too tight on the girl’s skin; just enough to make it a slightly ache. “Do you know your words?”

“Yes.”

“And what will you do if you want me to stop?”

“I’ll use them.” She assured you, nodding.

“Very well, then,” You took her in, looking so pretty messed up like that. You’d have to leave her like that more. “On your fours.”

Winter got half-up, cocking her head to the sides as she sent you a confused look. You were both still all dressed up. Had you forgotten about that detail, perhaps?

“Dress stays on,” You mumbled, groping her body through the fabric. “You look too pretty in that outfit. It nearly made me fuck you in the middle of the room, for everyone to see, when I first saw you.”

She giggled, delighted to have your praises. Her face was met with a pout soon after, though, as she sighed, defiantly. “If only you’d matched with me, instead of that bi—”

Winter lets out a loud grasp once you turn her around, adjusting her body roughly on your thighs.

“Shut the fuck up.” You told her. “Toys don’t talk. Specially ones that behaved so poorly the whole night.” Pushing her tiny dress up, you gave her ass a good squeeze. “Now, count. 10 for each cheek, since I’m feeling patient, for now.”

Winter couldn’t suppress the shiver that went through her body as she heard your words. She bit her lips, not wanting to let you see how much your tone aroused her; so drenched already, and you’ve only made out for a few minutes.

“O-one,” She took a deep breath as you went on, kissing her back and her ass until you’d finished, your hands’ impressions well painted on her milky skin. “T-two…”

You were surprised she didn’t lose count, not even once, even though her face was already glistening with a few tears, and she was shaking her head vigorously. “T-ten!”

You let out a proud smirk once you got her spankings over with, helping her up. “You did good, love.” You assured your girlfriend, kissing her gently to make sure she wasn’t overwhelmed. You let Winter take some time to breathe, nodding as she got her body closer to yours as much as she could, since her hands were still locked up.

Winter was always needy and touchy. You laugh at her exasperate touches, kissing her as you guide her body to lay on the bed completely. You tear down panties with hunger, soon taking out her white stockings, too, until you manage to push up the skirt of her dress and leave her cunt bare, inviting you over.

“You look so pretty, love. All dolled up and ready for me. So fucking hot tonight, baby.”

All she could do was nod, lost in pleasure as you kiss along her thighs. She instantly opens them more, hoping you’d mark them —just as you both liked it. You took your time pinching, sucking and bruising her perfect skin, enjoying the sound of the pornographic moans that left her mouth. You were drenched yourself, too, at the sight of your pretty girlfriend’s face as she lets out incoherent cries and whines.

Your fingers brush her cunt, never more than a light tease over her heated body as you add, “Wearing this little dress like the whore you are. Do you even have any idea of how delicious you look right now? Of how many people ogled you all night, desperate to touch you?” You giggled to yourself at the sound of her frustrated huffs, tracing your fingers to her slit before giving her pussy a long lick, “They can’t, though. You’re all mine. Mine to mark, mine to toy with. My doll.”

She couldn’t even answer as you dive in, sucking her pretty cunt vigorously as Winter wriggles and tries her best to get a hold of your hair, which makes you nibble your teeth though her sex, provoking her.

“M-more, more, mommy. Please! Oh shit—“ She was a mess, feeling even more as if she were going to erupt. Your hands kept touching her everywhere, with your nails leaving long, red lines from her forearms to the ends of her thighs.

As you kept on with an even faster rhythm, you could feel her inner walls clenching and her eyes starting to close in pleasure. So, naturally, you subsided your movements, allowing Winter’s cunt no more than a few kitten licks. She opened her eyes immediately, looking at you so adorably confused and frustrated.

“Do you really think you deserve to cum, my sweet?” Your fingertips entered her hole just enough so you could gather some of her wetness and taste it yourself, giving her sex a light slap. It made her joint, and you smiled at how sensitive she was, all bruised and marked. “With how much of an ungrateful slut you’ve been all night, hiding from my touches and presenting yourself to others…”

Still, she shook her head vigorously, “I’ll make it up to you, mommy, I promise.” Winter pleaded, with her best, sweetest voice. “Let me cum, please! Even though I don’t deserve it.”

Her obvious attempts to get herself off made you scoff, although you positioned yourself between Winter’s small body once again. She was your little doll, after all, so pretty dressed up as Alice in Wonderland.

And you have all the time in the world to edge her until she’s a withering mess, at the dorms, anyway.

Positioning your index and middle finger on her entrance, you brushed her hair off her face. “Work for it then, doll. If you want to get off so bad, do it.”

Winter’s eyes widened at your suggestion, and she let her shoulders down at the thought of having to do all the work. She’d never done such a thing, specially since you were always so eager to be the cause of her moans as she fell into pieces. As she opened her mouth to whine again, though, a simple look from you shut her out: the girl immediatly knew it was either that or nothing. Logically, your girlfriend bit her lip, pressing herself against your fingers as she felt the feeling of them in her tight cunt. She let out a loud moan, fucking herself on your fingers until the knot on her stomach soon presented itself back.

“Stop staring at me like that.” She said, looking the other way to not acknowledge you observing her, since she couldn’t push you herself. You curled your fingers inside of her, giggling at her little screams and surprised huffs.

“But you look so pretty, specially like this. Only for me.” You were making your best to follow through your words, even though Winter’s sounds and movements were making you crazy. You simply needed to grab her pretty little waist and take her until she was really screaming, crying loudly for you to stop.

However, you had to be patient, or else your girlfriend wouldn’t be taught her lesson. One she so desperately needed, so she would communicate to you better.

“Only for you, always.” She promised, her breathing erratic as she twitched under you. “Mommy, I’m gonna—please, please, let me cum.”

“Do it, love. You can cum, now.” You smiled, kissing Winter’s thighs as you bit them gently.

That did it for her; with a loud cry, she came all over your hand, trying to get your fingers off her pussy once she got too sensitive. You retrieved your fingers, sucking them clean as Winter gestured for you to set her hands free, which you promptly did. She immediately went to your lap, wrapping her fingers around your neck as she marked your skin, just as you had done to her, earlier.

“Thank you mommy.” She murmured, still light-headed and needy from her orgasm. You loved how dependent she got afterward, always requiring many cuddles and kisses after you fucked. You loved your girlfriend deeply, and she’d always be the number one in your life. “I wore the dress just for you, you know? I saw your look when we passed by the costume shop.”

You hummed, throwing your head slightly to allow Winter to suck on your neck as she liked to, “You’re such a little evil being, Minjeong.” She giggled, trailing kisses through your face until she captured your mouth, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

“I’m only yours.” She moved her bangs out of her face. “Are you only mine, too?”

“Of course, baby.” You frowned, squeezing her tiny waist to assure her of so. “I belong to you, just as you belong to me.”

“Good.” She whispered, feeling relieved to have that envious feeling finally off her shoulders. She didn’t master the courage to look at you, as she added. “I just wish we had matched, tonight.”

You held her even closer, kissing both of her cheeks repeatedly. “We will, next year. Ok?” You winked, managing to get a smile from her at the subtle promise. “You have to tell me when something’s bothering you, baby. I thought you were cool with me matching with Yuna and all.”

“I thought I was cool with it, too.” She shrugged, kicking her feet. “But I guess I wasn’t.”

You kissed her once again, hoping to have her know how much you loved her.

“It’s all good now, though. Come on, the party’s still going. Let’s head back?”

Winter’s head cocked to the side at your words, and soon her hands were toying with the hem of your crop top. She smirked, trying to look as innocent as she could at the thought of keeping you all to herself.

“Not yet… still want to get more of what’s mine, then.” You smiled back at the auburn haired girl, placing your arms up to allow her to get rid of the piece. “Besides, you’ve made me do all the work just now… I think I deserve a compensation.”

You scoffed, but pushed Winter’s body back on the bed just the same. You were her girlfriend, after all. You’d always spoil her rotten and indulge to her wishes.

“Bratty ass.”

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natalievoncatte · 8 months

Text

This was it, the moment of truth. The plan was going flawlessly, and in a few minutes, Lena would have what she needed to complete and launch Non Nocere. She was about to save the world.

(You mean your master plan, Lex’s voice snickered in her head)

Lena shook it away, as she had so many times already. When Kara glanced at her, Lena played it off as the cold. She was, after all, standing outside in the actual Arctic, brutally aware of how underdressed she was even in a heavy woolen coat and doubled up leggings.

Even here at the roof of the world, Kara was gorgeous. The sunlight glared off the ice and yet it only seemed to make her more radiant, her sun kissed skin practically glowing, blue eyes the color of the sea darkened by a distant storm.

“I’ll never understand why your cousin built this place here,” said Lena.

“He didn’t. There was an ancient Kryptonian outpost here from long, long ago, when my people were more expansionist. They abandoned any plans to colonize other solar systems thousands of years ago.”

Lena looked at her, damning her own curiosity. Kara, for her part, looked far away.

“Why?” said Lena.

“They decided they’d done enough damage to their own world.”

Lena blinked. Turning away, Kara inserted the key into the locking mechanism and unleashed a series of heavy grinding sounds as the doors parted.

Within, it was warmer.

(At last I walk these hallowed halls, a conquerer)

Not by much, though.

Lena drew in a breath and looked around, allowing herself a moment of unrepentant awe. The ceiling arched high overhead where the crystalline walls joined to form a peak, giving the Fortress of Solitude the air of a great cathedral. This gave a reference to the statue of a handsome man and beautiful woman, pressed side by side with joined hands and expressions of fear and hope as they gazed off into some distant star.

“That’s Jor-El and Lara, my aunt and uncle.”

Superman’s parents, Lena thought.

“Don’t your family have statues?”

“Kal-El created the memorial,” said Kara. “He didn’t know about my family until I told him.”

Lena huffed.

“I have a hologram of my mother,” said Kara. “It’s really just a computer interface. She doesn’t… I remember them in my own way.”

Kara cleared her throat, and Lena saw tears welling up in her eyes. A twist of pain turned in her stomach and her hand fell on Kara’s shoulder.

(That’s it. Play to her emotions. Use them like she used yours.)

“I hate this place,” Kara whispered.

Lena pulled her hand back.

“Why?”

“I thought I’d be excited to show you. There’s just so much I’ve always wanted to share, but this place is a tomb. When I’m in here, it’s like home, but not. It’s just a reminder of everything I’ve lost, and it makes me feel sick how much I want to go back.”

“Of course you want to go back,” said Lena. “It was your home.”

Kara let out a low, shuddering breath.

“It was, but it’s not anymore. I’ve lived on Earth now longer than I did on Krypton.”

She was looking up at the statues, or past them, perhaps. Lena couldn’t help but study her profile, the curve of her jaw and the soft lines of her face. How could someone who could crush coal into diamonds with her hands and kill with a glance be so angelic?

(Such an innocent face to hide such betrayal)

Lena swallowed, trying to still herself and tamp down the sympathy she felt.

“I envy him.”

“Who?”

“Superman. My cousin. He’s so lucky. He only gets the good part, the blessing from my uncle and the special heritage. For him, this place is joyful. It’s the answer to all his questions and full of strange wonders and joys. He tries to mourn them but how can he mourn something he’s never known?”

“I’m sure it must be sad for him, wondering what they were like.”

“He never knew them to disappoint him, either. It want his father that created Medusa. Sometimes I just wish I could forget it all. This place reminds me I don’t really have a home.”

Lena turned to her sharply.

Kara sighed. “My home is still out there. Argo, I mean. It’s basically a new Krypton. I could go if I wanted. Kal is there with…” she trailed off.

“Lois,” Lena added. “I pieced it together pretty quickly after you told me your identity. He’s Clark Kent, isn’t he?”

“You’ve always been too smart,” said Kara, and she sounded so genuine, so admiring, that it made Lena briefly wish she didn’t have to do this. That it had been real.

“I can’t go back there. I can’t be part of that society anymore, where people don’t get any choices in what they do, or…” Kara looked directly at Lena, dragging out the pause a beat too long. “Who they love.”

“What do you mean?”

“On Krypton, we had what I guess you’d call arranged marriages.”

“So you’d never have been able to be with Mon-El.”

“I wouldn’t have been allowed to choose him, no,” said Kara, “though thinking back, really thinking about it, I don’t think I would have in the end.”

Lena looked at Kara, who still stared up.

“Why?”

“We were only together because…” she let out a long sigh. “Because I don’t have a home anymore, not really. I can’t go back to my own people and I don’t belong here.”

“Of course you have a home, Kara,” said Lena, lightly touching Kara’s arm.

“You’d don’t know what it’s like,” said Kara, choking back a small sob. “No matter what path I take I have to kill part of myself. I can’t be Kryptonian and human, no matter how hard I try. The Kryptonian side keeps taking things away from me. I can never be my whole self with someone.”

Lena swallowed.

“Just look what it did to us,” said Kara, turning to Lena. “I almost lost you because of it, because of the lies I let myself tell.”

“Kara,” Lena lied, “I’ve forgiven you. We don’t have to re-litigate this.”

“Maybe you have, but I’ve never apologized to you properly. I’ve just been trying to smooth it over and fill in the cracks and I know how hard you’ve tried but it’s not enough for me to just let you do all the work.”

“Kara…”

“I was such an asshole,” Kara said, and Lena blinked. In any other circumstances, she’d have made a joke and chided Kara for her unusual profanity.

“I mean about the Kryptonite, but about other things, too. I shouldn’t have treated you one way while I was in the suit and another way when I wasn’t.”

“I’m still not sure which one was real,” Lena blurted.

(No! No, what are you doing? You have to make her think all is forgiven so she’ll take you to the armory!)

“They both were,” said Kara. “I was angry about the Kryptonite, and I was scared. I admit it, Lena. As much as I trusted you then and I trust you now, I didn’t know what to think. My best friend was making a poison that only hurts me.”

“I didn’t know it was you,” said Lena. “If I’d known…”

Kara swallowed.

“I know.”

“If I’d known, I would have come to you about Sam. I would have come to you about a lot of things, Kara.”

Kara tried to blink back tears and failed. Something about seeing her cry openly while wearing the suit made her seem so small and delicate.

“I wish I could be human,” said Kara. “I wish I could just be the person you thought I was and we could just be us.”

(Us? Lex snarled. You’re nothing more than a dog to her, that can be put down when she’s done with you!)

Lena’s throat tightened and tears stung her eyes.

“You know, when I was fighting Red Daugher, Lex’s clone of me…”

Lena looked at her sharply.

“I… I couldn’t beat her. I was losing. She… she killed me. My heart stopped. I was gone.”

Lena choked out a soft sob, unable to restrain it.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I knew I couldn’t go. I had so much to stay for. I don’t know how I did it but I dragged myself back from the other side, I just… I thought of Alex and J’onn and all my friends and everything I have to live for, everything here, on Earth, my home. Even that wasn’t enough.”

“What was?”

“You,” said Kara. “I couldn’t go without making amends with you, or at least trying. You’re my lodestar. I’ll always come back to you eventually.”

(She’s just trying to keep you in line. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie, she’s all lies!)

“I’m glad. I need someone around to safe me from assassination attempt number 547,” said Lena. The joke turned to sand in her throat, her voice on the edge of breaking.

“I’ve spent weeks trying to think of a magic combination of words that will make it better, but there isn’t one, is there? I can only tell you how sorry I am that I did what I did and promise I never will again. I’m so sorry I hurt you. It’s the worse thing I’ve ever done.”

“Kara…”

(Just let her trust you. You’re almost here. Myriad is here. The answer is here. Fuck her sentimental bullshit. She-)

Kara slowly reached out and caressed the back of her fingers against Lena’s tear-stained cheek.

“It’s crazy how dying made me realize so many things.”

“Like what?”

“All the things I never knew I wanted to do, until I knew I’d never do them.”

Lena swallowed, hard, fighting the urge to lean into her hand and press the warm skin to her own.

“Like what?”

Kara leaned in, filling Lena’a space, and Lena was acutely aware that she was the only warmth in this frozen place. Kara’s other arm swept around her, Kara’s fingers spread wide across Lena’s back.

“Is this okay?”

(No! NO NO NO!)

“Yes.”

(You can’t do this! You killed me, Lena! You killed your only brother for her and she’s a liar and a-)

Kara kissed Lena the way she did everything: Fully and completely. As Kara drew them together, Lena tipped back just a touch, as Kara seemed to tower over her, surrounding her in a warm embrace. Their lips met softly, chastely. Lena felt like she was in middle school again. It was as if she’d been rewound back to before her first clumsy, lip-pinching kiss in a boarding school bathroom.

She wasn’t sure whether it was Kara who deeepened the kiss, or her. In the end, it didn’t matter. Kara escalated by degrees, pausing as if to murmur an apology at any moment. Lena grasped her like was the only solace in a raging storm, feeling those steel cable muscles flexing beneath her suit.

Then she squeaked in Lena’s mouth when Lena grabbed a handful of ass, and Lena giggled.

“Do you want this too?” said Kara.

(You killed me!)

Yes, Lex, and I would again.

“Yes,” Lena admitted, and it was as if some great heavy weight had fallen from her shoulders.

She threw herself into Kara, shivering.

“It’s cold in here.”

Kara pulled Lena tight, wrapping them both in her cape.

“Let’s get what we came for and go home.”

477 notes · View notes

bussyslayer333 · 1 year

Text

Looking for somebody (to love)

summary: a flurry of bad dates leads bradley bradshaw to you.

pairing: bradley bradshaw x reader

word count: 5k+

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, smut, big dick bradley 🙏 MDNI 18+

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Phoenix had pushed him into this, dating wasn’t really Bradley’s scene. As much as he rebuked Jake’s love ‘em and leave ‘em mentality Bradley wasn’t much better. It was easier that way, no strings and no one left pining when he inevitably was sent on deployment.

He’d been on three dates in total so far this month, each one worse than the last.

The first wasn’t so bad in comparison to the rest. Her name began with an L, Bradley couldn’t quite remember whether it was Lana or Lara, either way Jake had set them up which should have been the first red flag.

She was pretty and blonde, definitely Jake’s type. In fact, Bradley was pretty sure he’d been on a date with the female version of Jake Seresin. The whole date she had talked about herself, and not in the cute, rambley sort of way that Bradley could get behind. But in the braggy, daddy’s money kind of way.

“Yeah and that’s the story of how that bitch of a barista burned my tongue off.” Lan/ra snarled, picking her fork at her salad.

“Oh, yeah, that sounds horrible.” Bradley tried to sound sincere.

“And I didn’t even tell you about the time a waitress scuffed my vintage Dior bag-” She interrupts herself, “fuck is that a tomato?”

Bradley looked up from where he had been cutting at his steak (that she had turned her nose up at) and winced, recalling how she had made a large scene out of not having tomatoes in her salad.

Unfortunately, one of the younger waiters at the restaurant managed to walk past their table as said revelation took place. Bradley’s date snapped her fingers in the poor waiters face, stilling him and looking down at her in fear.

“Hi miss, how can I help?” The waiter, who couldn’t be more than 17, stuttered out.

“Help?!” She looked to Bradley as if to encourage him to join her in complaining.

Bradley looked at the waiter apologetically, hoping for this to pan out calmly. Much like everything else that happened in Bradley’s life, it did not go the way he wanted it to.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Lan(r)a snapped, staring angrily up at the boy.

She stared at him expectantly, clearly waiting for a reply. Bradley wondered if it was worth slamming a few bills on the table and making his way out now.

“Uhm..” The waiter is looking around now, making pleading eye contact with who must be his manager.

Bradley finally tries to speak up, maybe diffuse the situation, “It’s okay, look I’ll just pay and we can get out of here.”

Lan(r)a objected once again, “We won’t be paying for anything! I want this meal free of charge!”

Bradley held in a laugh at her use of “we”, she had made it very clear at the start of the date that he would be paying. He was going to anyway, but her insistence made Bradley’s eyebrows furrow. Before her grating voice could start again, Bradley looked to the waiter.

“If you could just get us the bill, please?” He tried his best to communicate how apologetic he felt through his eyes and hoped that the waiter understood.

The waiter scurried off, fearing for another berating and in lieu of finding the bill.

“Why did you do that?” Bradley’s date seethed.

“I didn’t want to cause a scene,” Bradley didn’t really know why he was explaining himself to this girl.

“Whatever, Jake told me you were a dick anyway.”

Bradley laughed, loud. This girl could not be serious. He stood up and did what he should have done after the first ten minutes of being here. Slapped a hundred on the table and walked out.

In his car, Bradley considered his options. He could go home drink a few beers, maybe wallow about that pitiful date and pass out. Or, he could drive to the Hard Deck where he knew all his friends would be and chew Jake out.

He chose the latter.

“Bagman, what the fuck?”

Jake span around from where he was bent over the pool table, a smile plastered on his face.

“Not with Lana?” Jake chuckled, winding his neck around slightly trying to see if she was in tow.

“Fuck no! Why did you send her on a date with me?” Bradley all but whined to Jake.

By now Phoenix had made her way back from the bar top and was interested in what had seemingly got Bradley’s panties in a twist.

“She’s a friend, I thought you guys would have a lot in common.” Jake’s smile still scheming.

Bradley scoffs, “Like what?”

“You’re both bitches.” Jake cackles, picking his beer out of Phoenix’s hand.

Bradley’s pissed. He all but snatches the beer from Jake’s hands and takes a long swig.

“I’m never going on a date ever again.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Bradley’s vow of no dates didn’t last long. Phoenix had tricked him into another date, this time with someone of Coyote’s choosing. She was one of Javy’s sister’s friends and around the same age as Bradley and she was a total knockout.

When Javy had shown Bradley a picture he thought he was getting pranked. Seeing her in real life was even more insane. He’d decided this time on a more casual date, drinks at a bar in downtown San Diego. Although he was regretting his casual attire now. He definitely should have worn the black button up, Bob said it made his arms pop or whatever.

“Hi, I’m Bradley. Javy’s friend, you must be Maria?”

“Hey.”

Bradley’s eyebrows quirked slightly, maybe she was just nervous?

“Do you want to go in and get some drinks?”

“Sure.”

Okay maybe she’s just a woman of a few words, Bradley liked that. She’s mysterious, and hot. He’s sure he can crack her, maybe a few longing glances with his puppy dog eyes and she’d be done for.

Or at least that’s what he thought.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

This was one of Bradley’s many ice breakers he had tried, and he still couldn’t figure out for the life of him whether this girl was that uninterested in him or if she was actually just this goddamn boring.

“I model.”

“Oh cool, I mean I’m not surprised you’re totally beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

Even the bartender was looking somewhat sympathetically at Bradley’s poor attempt at saving this date. They sat in another few seconds of silence as Bradley wondered whether she was going to ask him a question. She did not.

“…yeah I’m a fighter pilot, like Javy?”

“Cool.”

Bradley was about to gouge his eyes out with the trendy metal straws sat in a ceramic pot on the bar top next to him. He mulled over whether he should bite the bullet and ask if she really even wanted to be here. He decided on a more polite version of that.

“So.. what made you decide to come on this date?”

Maria sits quietly for a moment, sips at the straw of her daiquiri and hums.

“I’m not sure.”

Bradley was going to bang his head on the table.

“Yeah I don’t know, I’m not really into guys with facial hair.”

Bradley snorts as he takes a sip of his beer, and Maria pulls back slightly disgusted. He taps a finger against his moustache in consideration. Was she hot enough for him to get rid of the stache?

No.

“Okay, cool. I’m not sure this is gonna work out.”

“Yeah.” Maria shrugs.

Bradley nods curtly, and pays off his tab. As he’s walking out he notices a guy approaching Maria, clean shaven. Bradley sees for the first time tonight a smile grace her face and rolls his eyes.

He’s on the phone to Phoenix as he enters his apartment, “Seriously Phe she was the most boring girl I’ve ever met.”

“What, because she didn’t like your moustache?”

“Shut up, you know that’s not why.”

Phoenix can hear Bradley pacing around his apartment and the opening of the fridge, she hears the clink of a beer opening and decides to bite the bullet.

“Look, I know these past two dates haven’t been great but I have one more for you-”

“Absolutely not.”

Phoenix huffs.“Hear me out. pleeeeeeeeeea-”

Bradley cannot believe he’s on the phone with a thirty year old woman, “Oh my god, fine.”

“She’s an old school friend, recently broken up with her boyfriend so she’s not looking for anything super serious and she’s your type to a T.”

Phoenix can hear Bradley tapping his foot on the wooden floor of his apartment, a sign he’s clearly thinking about her offer. He hums,

“Nothing serious?”

“Not at all.”

Phoenix holds her breath.

“Ugh, fine.”

Bradley hopes he doesn’t regret this.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Clare is exactly what Bradley was looking for, as much as he hated to admit it; Phoenix was right. Clare was just what she promised to be, funny, not looking for anything serious and exactly Bradley’s type. Honestly the date was going pretty good considering the horror show that the last two were.

“Nat never told me her pilot friends were so handsome.” She flirted.

Bradley chuckles into his wine glass, “I think Nat would probably throw up if she called me handsome.”

“She’s still that stubborn?” Clare giggles.

“As ever.”

There’s a lull in conversation as flirtatious looks are exchanged whilst they both sip at their wine. It gives Bradley a chance to remind himself to text Phoenix a thank you message.

Clare breaks the silence, “How come you’re single? I feel like you’re too good to be true.”

Bradley stews, wondering if he’s going to reveal himself so early on in the date,

“Well, if I’m being completely transparent I’m usually more of a one night stand kind of guy.”

Clare smirks, “What if I told you that was exactly what I was looking for?”

Bradley’s eyebrows quirk in intrigue, “Oh?”

“I just got out of a long term relationship so I don’t want to jump into something immediately, buuuut I like you Bradley. You’re cute.”

Bradley laughs, “Cute?”

Clare rolls her eyes, “You know what I mean.”

Bradley feels the tip of her heel begin to trace its way up his calf, stroking up and down lightly. She looks up at him smiling and he widens his legs, a suggestion for her to continue on her ministrations. It’s a nice kind of teasing, that promises a fun night ahead for Bradley. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited. However, Clare suddenly removes her foot from his calf and sits up straight, Bradley’s about to whine when a deep voice from behind him speaks,

“Shit, Clare?”

Bradley turns to see who Clare’s eyes are locked on. There’s a tall man stood behind him and a pretty woman slightly to the side, her dress short and red.

“Fuck, Daniel what are you doing here?”

“I’m with my date,” Daniel gestures to you.

You frown as the woman you now know as Clare glares at you.

“Yeah well I am too.” Clare folds her arms and gestures to Bradley.

You let your eyes wander to the man sat opposite her. He’s attractive, wavy brown hair, tan skin and muscular. He’s somehow even pulling off his porn stache. You finally pull your eyes away from your date’s ex girlfriend’s date and back to whatever was unfolding in front of you.

Daniel scoffs and gestures to Bradley, “This guy?”

Bradley isn’t sure whether he should be offended or not. As he sizes Daniel up he catches your eye, you’re even prettier on second look. You make a look at him as if to say “is this really happening right now?” and in that moment he decides he likes you infinitely more than Clare.

Clare rolls her eyes at Daniel, “Yeah, and what new skank have you got with you?”

Your eyes widen. This girl cannot be serious. Daniel had told you he’d recently gotten out of a long term relationship but he failed to mention it was clearly with someone who was still hung up on him, and probably vice versa. Your eyes wander back down to Clare’s date who has a disgusted look on his face, clearly equally surprised and annoyed by her words.

He speaks up for you before Daniel does, “That was uncalled for.”

“Bradley you don’t know what Daniel or the girls he used to cheat on me with are like.”

Repulsed by the newfound revelation about your date and tired of being slandered by a girl you’ve never met, you storm out of the restaurant. Early winter air in San Diego is chilly, especially at night when you’re wearing a skimpy slip dress. Your heels clack along the concrete loud enough that you don’t hear the footsteps approaching behind you. A hand grasps lightly at your shoulder and your shake it off in anger,

“Fuck off Daniel, this isn’t going to work.”

You spin on your heel, ready to berate him further when you realise it’s not Daniel at all.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped out on you. My name’s Bradley.”

Bradley. Clare’s date. He’s gorgeous, big brown eyes lit up by the moon. He’s looking at you with so much concern you don’t even realise that you’ve started crying until he raises a hand to wipe a tear off of your cheek. You blink quickly, willing the tears away and chuckle wetly,

“Sorry, I’m so embarrassed.”

“Please don’t be.” Bradley’s thumb swiped across your cheek in a comforting gesture.

“Hey, do you want to go on a walk?” He suggests, offering his arm to you.

You let out a shaky breath, “Yeah, okay.”

You walk slowly along the sidewalk, arm in arm with Bradley as he tells you about himself and asks about you. You learn that he’s 35 and a fighter pilot for the navy and probably the most charming man you’ve ever met.

He looks at you hesitantly, “Can I ask you something?”

You smile at him reassuringly, “Of course.”

“Why were you on a date with that douche bag? You’re way out of his league.”

You giggle at his suggestion and stare at him as you continue to walk, trusting him to guide you.

“My friends thought I needed to get out more, but every date I’ve been on this past month has been horrific.”

Bradley cackles, “No fucking way!”

You frown at him slightly, not enjoying the feeling of being laughed at. He quickly picks up on your expression and rectifies what he said.

“Sorry, shit, it’s just that’s exactly what happened to me.”

You cock your head to the side and let a small grin onto your face, “Really?”

Bradley smiles, “Totally.” He carries on, “The first girl was insufferable, I’m pretty sure my friend only picked her to annoy me.”

You chuckle, “Damn, why was she so annoying?”

“All she did was talk about herself and her money, and then flipped on the waiter when there was a tomato in her salad.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

You look up at him and giggle, somewhat uncontrollably. He joins in with you until your both leaning on each other for support. Once you’ve stopped laughing and alarming the other people in the street, you realise you’ve come full circle in your walk and back to the front of the restaurant you had left. You peer into the window and see Daniel sat where Bradley was previously, sticking his tongue down Clare’s throat. You hold down another bout of laughter as you look at Bradley’s shocked face.

“They fucking suck, don’t they?” He whispers into your ear.

You look back at him, “Oh 100%.”

You look into each others eyes for a moment, not really sure where to go from here. You hesitantly speak up,

“I should call an uber.”

Bradley frowns, “No way, I’ll drive you.”

You smile, teasing, “Haven’t you ever heard of stranger danger, Bradley?”

“I promise I’m not an axe murderer, sugar.”

You scoff in mock offence, “I’m talking about me.”

He rolls his eyes, “I’ll take my chances.”

Bradley’s bronco is clean, he has a pine scented air freshener dangling from the rear view mirror next to some mini fuzzy dice and he lets the radio hum 70s r&b hits whilst you direct him to your apartment.

When he comes to a slow in front of your apartment building you consider your options for a moment. Were you really about to let the first man who genuinely made you laugh for the first time in months slip out of your hands? Fuck no.

“Would you- Do you want to come up to my apartment with me?”

Bradley is so glad you have more initiative than him.

“Yeah, definitely.”

He steps out of the car and jogs round to help you out of your side. He’s holding your hand as you step down and once your feet are planted on the ground you look up at him and giggle,

“Definitely?” You tease, hand dragging up and down his chest.

He smirks at that and fires back, “I mean, I can just go?”

You roll your eyes and turn on your heel, taking his hand in yours and dragging him behind you, “Yeah sure.”

In your apartment, you make quick work of kicking your heels off. You make your way into the kitchen and return with two beers. Bradley’s sat on your couch, legs spread invitingly wide. You hand a beer to him and he smiles,

“Thanks, gorgeous.”

It’s impossible to ignore the way he makes your stomach flutter with want. Once you’re planted on the couch next to him he pulls your legs onto his lap and strokes a hand up and down your calf.

“So, tell me about your tragic dates.” He speaks, startling you out of your daze.

You take a sip of your beer and lean back, dragging your eyes across his face. He looks genuinely interested so you decide to indulge him.

“The second one was definitely the worst.” You chuckle in memory.

“Colour me intrigued, gorgeous.”

You rolls your eyes at the pet name but continue, “This guy took me to dinner and made eye contact with my boobs the whole time, and when I say the whole time I mean like I couldn’t even tell you what colour his eyes are because we never made actual eye contact for long enough.”

Bradley laughs at your explanation and can’t help himself but glance down at your exposed cleavage, he shrugs appreciatively, making a little “ow!” sound when you smack his shoulder lightly.

“Anyways, he kept insinuating that I was going to sleep with him and when I told him I wasn’t interested he immediately asked for the waitresses number.”

Bradley splutters into his beer and mumbles something about your date “fumbling the bag.”

“I’ve gotta see a picture of this guy,” Bradley laughs, curious as to what type of man could have such audacity.

You smirk and reach for your phone on the coffee table and quickly swipe open instagram, clicking on his profile in your recently searched. You hand your phone over to Bradley and he places his beer down before swiping through the pictures. He outright cackles,

“This fuckin’ guy? He’s literally the size of one of my thighs.”

You look down at his muscular thighs where your legs are resting and suck in a deep breath. When you look back up Bradley’s showing you a post on his instagram where he’s awkwardly stood next to two beautiful girls clearly dressed in some type of festival outfits and clearly not friends with him. Bradley’s laughing so loudly you consider your neighbours complaining.

You pout at him, holding in your own laugh, “Don’t be mean! He’s kind of cute in his own right?”

“Sugar, how do you expect me to believe that when you don’t even believe it yourself?”

You hum at his explanation.

“Besides, I think I have a good grasp on what your type is.”

You raise you eyebrows at his statement, “Really? Enlighten me.”

Bradley quirks his upper lip, “Well first off you like big tall guys, maybe some would even describe them as hunky.”

You giggle as he continues.

“Brown hair, brown eyes, huge dick, killer moustache and absolutely hilarious. Am I missing anything?” He peers down at you, teasing smile on his face.

“What was that middle one again?” You cock your head to the side in faux innocence.

“Killer moustache?”

“Nope.”

“Brown eyes?”

“Not quite.”

“Ohhhh, huge dick?”

You giggle, “Yeah that was the one, I was wondering why you think that’s part of my specific type?”

Bradley grins, “Well, you seem to like every thing else about me.”

Your stomach burns with desire at his confidence and you have to quickly compose yourself to answer.

“Well since we don’t have any proof, I’m not sure I can hold you to that, handsome.”

You move your legs from his lap and tuck them under yourself, moving your front towards him until your breasts are pressed up against his bicep, lips hovering over his ear.

“Unless you’re willing to provide some?”

You meet Bradley’s lust filled gaze and he groans,

“Fuck.”

His lips are on yours in an instant, his strong hands threading through the hair at the back of your head. Bradley revels in the feeling of your soft lips against his, the taste of alcohol mixing between your mouths. You’re moaning into his mouth as his tongue licks into yours. His hand leaves the back of your head in favour of gripping at your waist and pulling you over onto his lap. Bradley’s thighs are firm beneath you, as you roll your crotch down into his you get evidence of his claim and whimper into his kiss. He pulls back to smile smugly at you,

“You okay there, gorgeous?”

His cocky tone only proves as fuel for the slick accumulating between your thighs and you whine as you grind down onto his hard cock, straining against his dark jeans.

“I’d be better if you fucked me.” You whimper out.

Bradley chuckles, playing with the hem of your dress,

“Is that what you want, sugar?”

You aid him in pulling of your dress, once it’s flung on the floor you speak up,

“Right now? More than anything.”

Bradley is biting his lip, eyes trained on your breasts as he reaches out to grab at them.

“Shit I can’t blame that guy, you’ve got great tits.”

Your roll your eyes at him and prepare a quip, but all thought are wiped from your mind as he reaches down and swipes his tongue across your pebbled nipple. Instead, you moan out his name breathily with another roll of your hips.

“Bradley, please.”

He pulls back and looks up at you, “What do you need, sugar?”

“You, Bradley.” You whine, nimble fingers already unbuttoning his shirt.

Once you’ve finished with his shirt, you help him slide it from his shoulders and where it sits tight around his biceps. As you suspected, he’s just as muscular under his shirt. You reach down to suck at the skin of his chest, marking his pecs.

“You’ve got great tits too, Brad.”

He grants you with a laugh which turns into a moan as your small hands begin to palm at his cock. Your touch is momentarily stopped as you help him remove his jeans and boxers. You’re sat before him staring with your mouth slightly agape at his sheer size.

“Jesus,” You murmur, hand reaching out to stroke him slowly.

Bradley wants to gloat but your touch feels so good that he doesn’t want to risk you leaving him high and dry. He watches in awe as you reach forward to spit on the tip of his cock, using your saliva as lubricant as you speed up your strokes. Once you begin to lightly circle his tip with your tongue he pulls you back up with a whimper,

“Sugar, if you carry on i’m going to cum.”

You smile coyly, “Isn’t that the whole point?”

Bradley reaches a hand down to pull at your lacy underwear. Once he’s removed it he cups your pussy, the feeling of his large, warm hand making you shiver in excitement.

“I was kind of hoping to be inside of you before doing that.”

You grind down into his hand as he speaks, finger tips grazing at your clit deliciously.

“Well don’t let me ruin your plans.”

Bradley’s eyes roll back slightly at your words and he pulls away his hand to lick at the juices you left. He hums down at you,

“Delicious.”

You whine and turn your back to him, lying into the couch and arching your back up so that your ass is pressing against his hard cock. You wiggle your ass back against him and feel some of his precum seep out onto you.

“You gonna fuck me now?” You simper at him, turning your head slightly and giving him your best doe eyes.

He reaches a hand out to stroke at your flushed cheek, “How could I say no to this pretty face?”

You keen under his praise and squeal as you feel him guiding his cock through your folds, collecting your wetness onto himself. Bradley groans at the feeling as he begins to push into your hole, the way your velvety walls are squeezing him is almost addictive.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he finally bottoms out after what feels like hours of him pushing his considerate length in. You feel so fucking full with him pushed all the way into you.

“You good, gorgeous?” Bradley asks, care in his voice evident.

You moan and push back against him, “Shit yeah, you feel so good, so deep.”

Bradley feels a whine catch in his throat at your words and tentatively thrusts into you. When he’s met with a high pitched moan he takes that as a sign to start moving.

Bradley’s thrusts are deep, making you whimper with each one. Managing to make you feel even more full than before. He has both hands placed at your waist, strong grip almost intoxicating.

The sound of slapping skin and your combined moans fill up the space of your apartment as Bradley keeps up his pace. You’re beginning to drool slightly onto your couch as Bradley lifts your body up so that your back is pressed against his chest. His strength is so attractive to you that you can’t help but let a strangled moan fall from your mouth. He smirks at the sound and reaches one of his hands on your waist down to toy with your clit. The action makes your jolt as your pleasure suddenly intensifies. You turn your head and whimper into his neck,

“Fuck, Brad please.”

Bradley’s starting to think your moans are the best thing he’s ever heard. He only increases his ministrations, spurred on by your whimpers, close to making the sound himself as your walls clench around him. Bradley increases the pace of his thrusts quickly, determined to push you over the edge. It’s working faster than you would have liked and you would have felt embarrassed was it not for the way he also increases the pressure on your clit, making you twitch and squeak out, “Bradley! Oh my God!”

You can feel him chuckle breathlessly into your shoulder, his breath on your hot skin making the coil growing in your stomach tight. With one last quick thrust the coil snaps and you’re moaning unabashedly as you spasm on his cock. Your moans are music to Bradley’s ears and the feeling of your pulsing walls pushes Bradley to his precipice.

He pulls out quickly and flips you over so he can look at your gorgeous blissed out face as he cums. It spurts out in thick ropes onto your belly and Bradley groans deeply at the sight, growling as you reach down with a few fingers to swirl it around and lift it back up to your lips.

He’s still heaving whilst looking down at you. The sight of his sweaty chest dropping up and down enough to make you squeeze your legs as another flood of arousal leaks from you. He catches sight of the action and smirks, but chooses not to taunt you any further.

He finally speaks up, “Was that good enough proof for you gorgeous?”

You giggle up at him, hair splayed around your head, reminding Bradley of and angel.

“Maybe I need some more?”

You widen your legs for him to look down at your pussy, arousal dripping from you. He whines albeit somewhat pathetically.

“Yeah I think so too.”

When Bradley wakes in the morning, his arm is draped around your naked waist. He smiles down at the sight and picks up his phone to text Phoenix a quick thanks for sending him on that date.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: sorry guys i’m on my big dick bradley agenda rn !!!

i love this so i hope everyone else does too HAHEJA

also apologies for the filth i literally cant help myself

pls comment, reblog or send me an ask and tell me what u think !!!

thank u for reading :))

- honey <333

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reality-detective · 9 months

Text

Millions now know the truth about Covid. And….nothing.

People are dying because of the vaccines and….nothing.

The nation knows Russia-collusion was a seditious conspiracy to undermine a legally elected President.

And…nothing.

It’s now obvious “climate change” & the green movement is a total scam to manipulate & control, isolate us geographically, destroy the natural food supply & starve populations across the globe. And….nothing.

Big Tech is working with big govt to undermine every constitutional right we have and….nothing.

American citizens have been denied their right to a free trial & have been sitting behind bars for years because those in power are abusing the law and…. Nothing.

Really makes you wonder what it will take. Is this how good people lose everything and nations slide into catastrophe and people wonder afterwards, “how did they let this happen?”

- Lara Logan

#pay attention #educate yourselves #educate yourself #knowledge is power #reeducate yourself #reeducate yourselves #think for yourselves #think about it #think for yourself #do your homework #do some research #ask yourself questions #question everything #do your research #do your own research #lara logan

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newkatzkafe2023 · 4 months

Note

@lara-legomonkiekid

What if Y/N talked in her sleep and called the Monkey King her husband?(I've seen a lot of things that say that Monkey King would watch Y/N while she sleeps)

I'm pretty sure they thought you guys were married already so

(Lmk Wukong) He loves to watch you sleep. You always have a sense of calm And it's super cute when you mumble or talk in your sleep. One night you were talking again this time we were but It was saying his name and husband in the same Sentence. You never did figure out why he was so happy and more lovey in the morning.

(MK Reborn Wukong) He is usually awake at this time usually as a lookout for enemies. You try to stay awake too. But the sleep finally caught up to you. And not that he don't mind you need your rest. He would be upset if you were tired because of him. He will slow on lookout when he heard you call him when he turned. He saw that you were still sleeping which confused him. Until he heard You say my husband can kick your ass he's crazy i'm not scared of you. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're talking about him. And in the morning He held you tightly just so he can hide very bright red blush on his face.

(Nezha Reborn wukong) The second he heard the word husband It was over. He usually watches you sleep because you tell him that you would sometimes have a nightmares. And he was very worried at the time. So he was on standby But thanks to your blissful comment. He spent a whole night day dreaming about your married lives together. Oh He has to do now was figured out you ring size

(HIB Wukong) He too was asleep when it happened this time. He actually heard you cause it was talking louder than usual. He knows you're talking your sleep sometimes. But he never really took it seriously and so he finally heard what you said. It seemed like you were scared you were telling someone to leave him No you were telling someone to leave your husband alone. Is that what you're saying you think of it as a spouse a good husband. He's not sure what to do with this information. So he doesn't bring it up until maybe in the morning.

(Netflix Wukong) Husband?!?! he felt he was lucky enough to be a boyfriend!!!! This just tells him that you totally wanna spend your life with him. His insecurities had caused him to doubt. But your dream seems to confirm that you do love and value him that much to where you wanna join him in marriage. This changes everything🥰🥰🥰

Feel Free to Reblog😇👍

#monkey king netflix #monkey king reborn #monkey king x reader #nezha reborn #lmk monkey king #monkey king hero is back #x female y/n #goodnight #i need sleep

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fr3sh-tragedies · 4 months

Text

Pure Admiration

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.03k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: A really corny ending (bear with me), very brief mentions of death, soft anxiety

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: This was more of a drabble than an actual individual chapter. Not proofread, but the ending is still extremely cheesy, so feel free to ignore it if you'd like.

[A/N] #2: Most likely going to rewrite this sometime in the future, but I currently have six more characters I plan on writing for first.

Enjoy!

Throughout the time she spent during and after the trip to Yamatai, Lara was often seen with a deadpan expression and heard with a cold or uninterested tone by anyone who happened to stumble across her path. Trinity soldiers, paparazzi, Jonah, Sam, and everyone alike had grown accustomed to glancing over at any given moment, and even when she was talking about something she was passionate about, there was always a sense of stress or frustration laced within each crease that lined her face.

Even before her first independent expedition, it wasn’t uncommon to see her scowling down in confusion as she reread over pages and pages of books she had carried to study with, murmuring that she had to be missing something. It had taken a toll on her appearance too–due to the countless nights she spent staying up to continue her research, her eyes had grown dull and heavy with fatigue. It only added to the look of exasperation that seemed to constantly adorn her features.

To most, it was almost seen as a trademark feature of hers–a part of her that would never fully disappear. It was why it was such a surprise to the people closest to her when [Y/N] came into the picture. For once, it seemed as though Lara was finally at ease with someone other than herself. When Jonah or Sam would glance over at the two, it was hard not to mirror Lara’s contagious smile as she chatted away happily with [Y/N] about whatever came to mind.

Not once did Lara hold an ounce of resentment or irritation in her tone or eyes when she would gaze over at the younger woman. Instead, there was a sense of admiration, one in which seemed to bring out the best of her. In cases where she’d usually grow stubborn and aggressive toward whoever she was bickering with, [Y/N] was somehow able to extinguish even the smallest feelings of fury that might’ve sparked to life beneath her skin, always steering the conversation to something everyone could seemingly agree with before things escalated too far.

And over time, the effects [Y/N] had on Lara began to shift into her everyday way of looking at things. Where she’d once swipe everything off her desk and clutch handfuls of her hair in utter frustration, her head pounding from lack of sleep and confusion as to why she couldn’t figure something out, she’d instead take a moment to herself and focus on something else before moving back when she was ready. She found it helped her get things done much quicker, as well as prevent the high levels of stress she had grown used to, though she wasn’t entirely aware it was [Y/N] who had ultimately caused it.

Even when Lara wasn’t with her, doing so much as talking about [Y/N] was enough to lighten her mood. It was evident to anyone who even managed to glance over at the right time. Something had lifted her spirits with the mere mention of it, that much was obvious, though they never knew what. Although Lara didn’t visit Sam often, Jonah made sure to fill her in about every time the brunette would start rambling on and on about the other woman, much to Sam’s amusement. When Lara would visit here and there, she’d be gently teased about her “little crush,” in which she’d deny her feelings and try her best to change the subject.

Sam eased up on her taunting remarks after a while, but eventually asked Lara when she planned on asking [Y/N] out, her previously chipper tone suddenly serious. Again, Lara denied how she felt and shifted the topic before she made an excuse to leave. As she went to bed that night, however, she found herself pondering whether or not she had actually fallen for someone.

She didn’t get any sleep, too busy tossing and turning as she desperately tried to get the image of [Y/N] out of her mind. Each time she’d think about her kind smile, her comforting hugs, her cheerful and comforting demeanor, Lara would hide her face behind her hands or bury it in her pillow, groaning at the feeling of a burning warmth enveloping her skin.

After another night or so of this, she somehow found that she was able to fall asleep, although she had to hold one of her pillows to her chest. Unwillingly, she pictured it was [Y/N]’s sleeping form against her own. Her face burned with embarrassment the next morning when she discovered she had clutched onto the plush surface rather tightly throughout the night, and she hesitantly found herself shoving the pillow back up against the headboard. She scolded herself before forcing her weakened body out of bed to start her day.

There was no way she could possibly be in love with someone she had known for such a short amount of time.

Was there?

It took months for her to finally come to terms with her emotions enough to finally ask for advice, and since she was away on a trip without any way to talk to Sam, she confided in Jonah. As they pushed their way through the ground of the forest, hacking down loose branches and bushes that blocked the path with a makeshift machete, she not-so-casually admitted she might actually feel something for [Y/N]. She had expected him to be surprised in one way or another, but he quickly let her know she wasn’t great at hiding it.

Sheepish, she tried to brush it off and ignore the fact she ever brought it up, but Jonah insisted that he didn’t mind. He told her how relieving it was to see her so happy with someone–that she deserved to find someone special and spend time with them rather than constantly hiding away in her study to bury herself in research.

Even with a grumble rebutting the remark of essentially stowing herself away, Lara couldn’t deny that it felt nice caring so deeply for someone. She had cared for others before, sure: Jonah and Sam were like family to her at this point. But this felt different. It felt intimate and passionate in all the right ways.

Trudging their way up a hill to set up a base camp for the night, she and Jonah cautiously talked about ways to get Lara to confess, both too worried of crossing a boundary and upsetting the brunette. Jonah knew it was a touchy subject when it came to romance and settling down to start a family with her, but Lara was terrified of messing things up more than anything. She had finally found someone she loved like no other, and given that she had no prior relationship experience, the question of whether or not she would ruin things hung heavy in the back of her mind with every thought that flashed through.

Nothing else was mentioned about Lara’s feelings for the remainder of the journey, but once the two of them were seated in the plane headed back home, the testy topic was picked up again. Jonah had to keep reminding Lara that there was no reason to get defensive, that it was okay to be open about how she felt. It took nearly an hour, but she finally got it.

She had never had any kind of crush before–never understood why girls back in junior high and high school would gossip about the people they had their eyes on–she had no idea how to express how she felt. Although it was difficult, she knew she could trust Jonah, and she finally managed to talk about exactly how she felt.

Another few months had passed, and it had almost been a year by the time Lara was ready to confess how she felt to [Y/N]. Every time she thought of how long it had taken to muster up the courage, she felt ridiculous. It had taken her nearly a full year to realize how she felt and actually act on it. Normally, when she felt something strong bubbling up within her, she acted on it right away. Granted, those feelings were usually ones of annoyance at someone going against her wishes or determination to find an ancient ruin she had been studying for weeks.

Regardless, she scolded herself for being so cowardly, reminding herself that she’d need confidence if she were to ever get rid of the feeling of anxiety that stemmed from how she felt about the other woman–who seemed to increasingly plague more and more of her thoughts with every passing day.

At first, she thought she could go all out for her confession, wanting it to be special. She decided against that quickly, however, upon remembering something as simple as a location or a certain activity could be special on its own. She also cringed at the idea of a large event for something that could go wrong, though she hated the idea of a huge confession either way.

Yes, she wanted things to be special and go smoothly, but that didn’t mean other people had to be there to witness it. Whether or not it went well was nobody else’s business. Plus, the mere thought of being around other people made her anxious. The idea was discarded faster than it had even crossed her mind.

Finally, after getting different ideas from Sam and Jonah, Lara setup something small, invited [Y/N] to join her, and eventually managed to confess how she felt, unable to look the other woman in the eye as she awaited her response. Pure relief washed over her senses once [Y/N] voiced that her feelings were mutual. A short while later, Lara asked [Y/N] to be her girlfriend, to which she said yes as well.

Jonah was the first to congratulate Lara, given that he was essentially the wingman in the situation, and Sam was quick to tease her about what she planned to wear at the wedding. Lara brushed her off with a playful laugh each time, though she wouldn’t deny that she had already begun planning out the wedding anyway.

Somehow, each time anyone saw the two of them together, Lara always seemed to be in a cheerful mood, uncharacteristically lively and energetic. She was friendlier towards others, so long as she knew they weren’t making [Y/N] uncomfortable.

And just like before, when they hadn’t been dating, anyone with a set of working eyes was able to see the absolute admiration swelling up in Lara’s eyes whenever they’d land on [Y/N]. Her eyes never dimmed with disinterest or disgust, but rather lit up with love and genuine joy. Her fingers would often be seen laced with the other woman’s, allowing her to give a squeeze here and there, whether it be reassuring, teasing, or simply because she enjoyed being there with her. As they talked about anything and everything, [Y/N] would lean into Lara’s side, and in turn, Lara would rest her head atop the younger woman’s, still glancing down at her here and there just to see the face of the one she had fallen so deeply in love with.

The look in her eye only grew stronger as the years went on, and the two ultimately married, ready to settle down for good. During the vows, Lara spoke about how gleeful [Y/N] made her feel over the years, and Jonah and Sam couldn’t help but smile at each other in understanding. They had been there to witness the joy. They knew it wasn’t temporary.

Even when Lara and [Y/N] would argue, as most couples do, it never caused that gleam in Lara’s eye to falter. It grew and grew, all the way into their thirties, then forties, then fifties, and continued to grow until their eyes closed for the final time. Had anyone outside looked into their life, even the most cynical of onlookers couldn’t wholeheartedly deny how in love they were, nor could they ignore the admiration that had burrowed in and made itself at home in Lara’s gaze, there 'til the day she died.

#fluff #x reader #female reader #slight angst #tomb raider #rise of the tomb raider #shadow of the tomb raider #lara croft #lara croft x reader #lara croft x fem!reader #lara croft x female reader

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fancifulplaguerat · 2 months

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At last….I have Katerina thoughts……That is. There is consistent reference to the dichotomy of good/evil in Katerina’s character, in her words, how others speak of her, and her narrative position as arbiter between Nina and Victoria. Her character concept states that Katerina previously “served as independent arbiter to opposition of the two Mistresses,” and likewise Lara’s portrait quote: “Who could survive between Nina’s rock and Victoria’s hard place? That’s how the town worked back then—upon this rock Nina was forging it, while Victoria maintained a firm stance to keep it in check; Katerina was the one to ensure the balance was in place.” Katerina’s prior position appears in her philosophy in-game, where she tells Clara that three ends are possible and that while Simon generally bound Utopians and Termites, “I insist that he’s built the town as a triangle… and so I declare loyalty to the third idea—the faith of Humility! I am their Mistress. There’s neither heat nor cold anymore; there is only Earth…” Katerina again identifies herself in between dichotomies, in Town philosophy and earth as opposed to heat and cold.

I think this connection to good/evil per se first appears in the Bachelor Route, when Katerina tells Daniil “Any conflict that has two sides inevitably turns into a battle of good and evil” and the infamous question she poses to him: “Do you favour good or evil?” Altogether a little precursor to a later delicious dialogue between Katerina and Clara:

Katerina Saburova: A period of your antagonism with Maria is beginning. Along what lines will it be? Which of you will be the good one, and which one wicked? Will it be up to the Kains once again to determine the meaning of good and evil? How are you to take the good path if Maria doesn't choose the evil one...? Changeling: Why divide everything into good and evil right away? Could that have been your mistake? Our mistake... Katerina Saburova: That was what I thought—when I chose my own dark path... I thought the conflict was not between good and evil, that neither good nor evil existed... That wasn't true! For it is in the nature of humans to translate even a dichotomy of red and green into the language of good battling evil. We are doomed to make choices... Changeling: But did you really choose evil? Katerina Saburova: I now think I did... Nina could control it at the time... and I couldn't. Nor was Nina wearing the black tiara... But don't put your trust in what is more alluring, more attractive! That is usually where evil lies!

To properly analyze this I want to first discuss how Andrey and Lara characterize Katerina’s failed attempt to emulate either Victoria or Nina. Andrey claims, “As the Mistresses were dying, Katerina was throwing herself hither and thither, unable to choose a role; she tried to be Nina and she tried to be Victoria, but neither light nor darkness have worked out for her—she sucks at both.” Lara echoes this claim: “When Victoria died, Katerina rushed to take her place—she was quite afraid of playing games with Mother Darkness by then. The last of the Mistresses was struggling and throwing herself from one extreme to another.” Both dialogues emphasize Katerina’s inability to adhere to either part of the dichotomy, yet other dialogues suggest Katerina favored darkness. Maria claims Katerina “always found evil attractive,” and Lara states that after Nina’s death, “Katerina, who had been inclined towards Darkness before, became the Black Mistress…” The latter of course reinforces Katerina’s response to Clara that she chose evil, but I think Lara/Aspity’s portrait quotes and her character concept again complicate this and. Might I add. Make it far more devastating.

Aspity describes Katerina as “A queen turned witch. That’s what you get for dabbling with the spirits of the night. After Nina died, Katerina shamelessly rushed to take the place of the Dark Mistress; the burden of caring for the town was Victoria’s […] She got carried away though…” Aspity implies that Katerina became the Dark Mistress only because Victoria was still alive—because there were only two Mistresses, and Victoria was “good,” Katerina must be “evil;” this idea appears again in Katerina asking how Clara can take the good path “if Maria doesn’t choose the evil one.” This makes me wonder: was Katerina truly drawn to Darkness or was she just led to it by virtue of being half of a dichotomy? Her character concept states that Katerina “heartily replaced the infernal Nina. After Victoria’s death, she was left on her own and rushed to become the white Mistress, but it was too late. The evil seeds grew strong roots in her soul.” Which could imply that she *did* favor evil, or suggests her desire to be a proper Mistress (more on that momentarily). The last sentence parallels Aspity’s assertion that Katerina “got carried away” and perhaps Katerina’s own claim that she could not control “evil” as Nina could or Lara saying that Katerina was “afraid of playing games with Mother Darkness” by the time Victoria died.

To me, it feels less like Katerina was always drawn to evil—maybe she was, but the way these quotes describe her, it feels more as though she had to choose evil and was subsumed by it through no fault of her own. The main culprit instead being, of course, the Rat Prophet. The character concept reads: “[Katerina’s] game with the poltergeist called the Rat Prophet, who appeared to her as both her inner voice and a character of prophetic dreams, went too far. The poor woman who wanted to become a Mistress so badly was deceived.” Which contextualizes a line of Katerina’s which obliterates me: “There is nothing to tell. Everything is clear. I never had the power. I am not a true Mistress. I lied… but not for gain. Merely because I wanted so much to be like them. No… wishing for a miracle is not enough to become a miracle-worker…” AGH that last line makes me goddamn throw up blood !!!!! Even more so how her character concept concludes ??? “The Rat Prophet indoctrinated her with the idea that the Town’s demise is inevitable and fighting it would be as pointless as resisting the coming of winter.” TRAGEDY !!!!!!!!

#pathologic #patho.txt #katerina saburova

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sl-vega · 2 months

Text

✧Sticking to the Script✧-05

⋆｡°✩ 05-lara jean who?

You placed your phone into your bag, you had just finished your audition and it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You supposed that doing something one loved had that effect. You forgot about Chaoxi, and everything that had happened yesterday. All the pain seemed to disappear.

"I love you, Sisi."

Speak of the devil

There was Chaoxi, waving goodbye to a girl, while professing his love to her. You connected the dots, she was the one he left you for. You felt your heart stop when you heard his voice.

I'm too tired to deal with this shit.

You thought as you started to turn the other direction. You should've just agreed to walk home with Lyney and Lynette. You mentally berated yourself as you took a step forward.

Was this the long way home? Yes. But would you have to talk to Chaoxi? Nope.

Or so you thought.

"(Y/N)!"

You heard him call his name, as he did many times before, in the past. The girl he just said goodbye to, that was you once. He had you wrapped around his finger. Looking at him now, you didn't see what you fell for.

"What do you want?" you said, trying to sound cold. You took a few steps back, hoping that he would take the hint.

"I know we didn't end things on the best note-"

"That would be an understatement." You said cutting him off. You were practically seething at this point. You attempted to keep your cool, just barely maintaining decorum.

"I know, I fucked up, and I'm really sorry." He apologized but it didn't seem sincere.

"If you just came to apologize, you're wasting your breath." You replied turning away from him again. What did you see in him?

"Just give me another chance!" He protested. You certainly weren't expecting that from him.

"What about that girl just now? Sisi was it? You seemed awfully taken with her when you dumped me." you replied bitterly, making sure to get every word into his head.

"I-I swear we're just friends! She's not the other girl..." He trailed off clearly not even believing his own lie.

Archons, I can't believe him, first he dumps me, confesses to cheating, and has the audacity to try and get me back?!

You had to resist punching him then and there. You weren't going to get involved with this mess again.

"I don't care what your relationship is with her, I'm not interested."

"Why? Come on, we both know you're afraid of being alone. Plus it's not like there's anything stopping you." He said, his voice cocky.

I'm not afraid, I was just stupid enough to be dependent on you.

You thought, but you kept that to yourself.

"There actually is something stopping me, I'm seeing someone else at the moment." You weren't, there was no way you could find someone in such a short period of time, but the lie came out so naturally.

In the distance, you saw the blue haired boy from earlier exit the school building with his friend.

"And he's actually waiting for me right now." You told him as you pushed him aside.

This is a dumb idea

This is a really, really, dumb idea

But you were more of an actor than a thinker anyway. Plus it's not like you actually had to talk to the boy, there's no way Chaoxi was still watching you walk over to him. But just for safe measure, you turned around to check.

Fuck, he's still watching.

Well this dumb idea would have to turn into a dumb action at this rate. You walked over to the two boys, you felt your stomach turn in on itself as you got closer and closer to them.

The umbrella boy glanced at you and you still couldn't believe that you were actually going through with this. You waved at him, getting his attention. His friend noticed you too, which added to your anxiety, but it's not like you had anything to lose.

"Hey, can we talk for a sec?" You asked, trying to keep your voice steady. The boy nodded and waved bye to his friend, you grabbed his wrist, and guided him towards the path that you usually took to go home, you made sure you were just barely out of Chaoxi's sight.

The two of you stood in awkward silence for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

"I know we don't know each other very well, hell, I don't even know your name, but I really need you to do me a favor." you pleaded, making direct eye contact with him, trying to make sure that he knew that you really needed this.

The boy nodded, still following along, even though he didn't know what you needed yet. You decided to take that as a good sign.

"It's Xingqiu by the way. That's my name I mean." he said suddenly, his voice was rather pretty, he seemed polite too.

"I don't really know how to word this, and this is going to sound really weird." you started, anticipating a negative reaction. "But I need you to be my boyfriend." you winced, speeding through the last bit.

He looked taken aback, but a lot less weirded out than you thought he would be.

That must be a sign right?

"Pretend boyfriend I mean!" you added, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. "It's a complicated situation, but long story short, my ex won't leave me alone and I told him I was going out with someone, and then you happened to be close by, so then I told him that my new boyfriend was you and-" you caught yourself rambling about it.

"I swear I'll make it up to you if you agree." you assured him. There was no way he'd get anything out of this, but you'd certainly be indebted to him if he did.

"You don't need to pay me back! I'm actually in a bit of a situation myself, and this will benefit me." he replied.

"Wait, you're actually agreeing?!" you exclaimed, there was no way that convincing him would've been this easy, right?

Xingqiu nodded. "It helps both of us so I don't see why I shouldn't." he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You tackled him into a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" you repeated several times, making sure that he knew how much you appreciated this. Thanks to Xingqiu, the next few weeks should be a lot easier for you.

"If you don't mind me asking, why does this help you out?" you asked.

"Have you ever heard of the Roses and Muskets competition?" he asked. You shook your head.

He went on to explain the competition to you, it's origins, and how he got entered. He told you about his inexperience with love, but he still wanted to write something he was proud of.

It was kinda cute, how he rambled on and on about his passion for literature. It wasn't just a hobby for him anymore, he wanted to do it for the rest of his life. You found that admirable.

Soon you lost track of time, hours had past, yet Xingqiu had made it felt like a few minutes. You could've listened to him talk even more, you'd gladly listen to him forever, but you had to get home soon.

You exchanged phone numbers and said goodbye to each other.

Maybe this wasn't such a dumb idea after all.

additional notes:

-opening the chapter with haypasia slander cuz why not

-yes scara auditioned

-take a guess of who i'm gonna cast him as

-OML sm happened in this chapter

-i'm quite proud if i do say so myself

-fun fact: in the original planning of this chapter, xingqiu was gonna ask y/n out, but i decided to let our protag make the first move #feminism

-xingqiu going on about it being "mutually beneficial" yeah we know why he really agreed

-poor chongyun's probably so confused rn

-giving myself a pat on the back for the subtle implications during this scene

-iykwim

-*sigh* if only i had a boyfriend who would ramble abt literature to me, the struggle is real

-also i wanted to say ty to all the support you've all given me! i love you guys

-this fic is becoming a walking-talking to all the boys reference

-sorry abt not updating in a bit, but hey (insert shameless transition) if you're tired of waiting for me to continue this little smau, you should check out my bestie on wattpad who is also a fellow author. they're @eggosforbreakfast btw and they write some really good bluelock stuff :3

-they don't have tumblr (dw y'all i'm tryna convert them) so follow their wattpad :3

-they actually proofread this very chapter for me <3

masterlist

✧Sticking to the Script✧

Pairing: Xingqiu x FEM! Reader

Genre: fake dating, strangers to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst (?), high school smau, modern smau

⋆｡°✩-Synopsis: Xingqiu just got entered into a special writing contest, the type that's invite only, the theme this year is love, the only problem is that he has zero romantic experience. but he really wants to prove himself as a writer. meanwhile, you just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you need to show him that you're 100% over him, the only problem is that there's no way you can get an actual boyfriend that quickly. clearly, the solution to both of your issues is to fake date each other. it shouldn't be hard for an actor such as yourself, all you need to do is stick to the script.

(OPEN) Taglist: @freyao7, @thatoneswordgirl, @sn1perz, @latay7, @esmetrees, @nmriki0, @help-whatdoimakemyusername, @httpsrenren, @cupid-spams, @aixaingela, @kaitfae, @luvkvni, @danhenglovebot

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utilitycaster · 3 months

Note

Hi! What fiction books have you really loved lately?

Hey anon! On the one hand this is a great time to ask me because I literally received it at the library and went to a virtual panel my local bookstore put on today and have many book thoughts! On the other hand I have not been as great at reading regularly the past few years and have been making a concerted effort lately, but everything I say is probably going to be repetitive for longtime readers of my blog.

First volume of Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui

The Daevabad Trilogy by S. A. Chakraborty; I am currently reading The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi and it's also excellent.

Amberlough by Lara Elena Donelly. I have Armistice, her second in the series, out from the library right now!

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu

Starless by Jacqueline Carey

Sisters of the Forsaken Stars by Lina Rather (second book in a series, both novella length - Sisters of the Vast Black is the first, and is also very good)

A Memory Called Empire and A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine (technically I read A Memory Called Empire over a year ago but I read A Desolation Called Peace last March).

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg

Various books from the Murderbot Series by Martha Wells

Thanks for asking and if you have questions about any of the above, want to know about books I've read less recently that I loved, nonfiction books I've loved, OR books I've read recently that I only kind of liked/did not like, or recommendation questions of any kind let me know!

#answered #Anonymous #m's book recs #<-making a book rec tag i will endeavor to recall and use

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heartinthehospital · 5 months

Text

not that hot

hunting season masterlist

content: male whumpee, female whumper, big whumpee, small whumper, defiant whumpee, possessive whumper, kidnapping, violence

When Elijah wakes up, Lara is nowhere to be seen.

Well, he can’t see much of anything. Elijah blinks a few more times to confirm, but he’s sure he’s blindfolded. And tied to a chair. His back muscles tense through his t-shirt as he measures how much movement his arms are allowed when they’re duct-taped behind him. It’s none. The same goes for the duct tape that secures Elijah’s ankles to the chair legs. Slowly, he tries to recollect the events of the last few hours.

There was the gas station. The couple of guys who mugged him. Elijah shifts his weight and winces when he can feel the bruises on his ribcage. There are other injuries, but this has to be the worst of them. Elijah knows what broken ribs felt like, and this isn’t that, but damn if it doesn’t hurt the same.

There was Lara. The offer to clean him up back at her place. Elijah wonders if his car is still at the gas station and frowns. Everything he packed for the hunting trip was inside, and if getting mugged was any sign, that couldn’t be a safe place to be parked.

Elijah told Lara about the hunting trip, when she asked why he looked like he was ready to tour Afghanistan. She laughed, and he began to question if it was the alcohol they were sharing or if she did really look that pretty when she smiled. He must’ve asked out loud, because the next thing he remembers, she was on top of—

Elijah hears footsteps. Thank God.

With a swift tug of the cloth around his eyes, Lara is standing in front of him again.

“Are you awake?”

Absent-mindedly, Elijah decides that she really is that pretty. There’s no alcohol in his system to convince him otherwise, but as soon as he realizes that, he wonders why he isn’t hungover. There’s no way he doesn’t have a throbbing headache if he blacked out hours ago.

“Eli?” That’s not important.

“My bad,” he clears his throat. “I’m awake.”

Lara steps back, still in the same clothes. Elijah can’t help but imagine how the two of them look. Him, dressed in what looks like military uniform. Her, barely clothed in a wife beater and daisy dukes. If either of them were to be tied up, he wouldn’t expect it to be him.

She’s searching in his face for something, but Elijah doesn’t know what. The look in her ice-blue eyes is unreadable. It's like she's waiting for something. Behind his back, he gently grazes his bloodied knuckles with his fingertips, expecting her to speak first. It doesn’t look like she’s going to.

“Do you want me to be scared?” Elijah offers.

Suddenly, Lara’s expression turns into blatant confusion. “What?”

“I mean, do you want me to be scared?” That’s what he just said. Elijah clears his throat and tries to explain himself. “You know, what we’re doing here. I’m tied up. You’re not. Should I be scared?”

The expression on Lara’s face doesn’t change. Somehow, the conversation brings him back to high school, when everyone stared blankly at him whenever he spoke because his accent was too thick to understand. Elijah feels as stupid as he did then. What was Lara not understanding?

“Okay,” he tries again. “Last thing I remember, we were on your couch together, and I guess I blacked out when we— it’s not important. Now I’m in your basement. You didn’t ask if I was okay with this, which I don’t mind, because I am, but I don’t really do this. I don’t know if I’m supposed to ask if you want me to be scared, or if I should be scared as soon as you walk in. I don’t know how we’d even have sex if I’m tied up like this, honestly.”

Something like recognition clicks in Lara’s face, but she doesn’t say anything. Elijah begins to consider he might not watch enough porn. That’s not true, and he knows it, but no matter how he racks his brain to think of every video he’s watched, he can’t think of one that lets him know what he’s supposed to do. “If you didn’t want me to be this confused, you could’ve told me what you wanted. Maybe it would ruin your fantasy, but it would help. Like I said, I don’t do this.”

Finally, Lara steps back. She looks him up-and-down, her features softening.

“Oh my God, you’re stupid.” The sentence is said with such incredible tenderness, Elijah takes a few moments to register it as an insult.

“Hey, what the fuck?”

“You’re not scared?” Lara reaches out a hand to brush against Elijah’s bruised jaw, and he stiffens at the physical contact. “You’re tied to a chair in my basement, and you’re not scared?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.” Elijah shakes his head. “You know what? Nevermind. Thanks for helping me and everything, but I don’t think this is working. I wish it did—” his eyes rake over her body in the same way she did his “—but it’s not.”

“You’re so stupid,” Lara repeats herself in that same voice, her fingertips still soft against his skin. Elijah might find it attractive if she wasn’t insulting him. She turns her head towards a blinking red light in the corner of the room that he hadn’t noticed. “None of them have ever done that. They always wake up asking me what happened, and he just explained it to himself."

Elijah looks at the camera. “Are you fucking recording this?”

The dread finally begins to set in, and he struggles against his restraints. The duct tape didn’t feel this tight when he woke up.

“I’m leaving,” he insists, glaring at Lara. In the back of his mind, he imagines himself telling this story to his friends when he arrives at their cabin. That’s all this is going to be. One of his stories.

“Go ahead.”

“Fuck you.”

Lara smiles. “Do you always curse this much when you’re scared?”

“I’m not scared. I’m pissed that my fucking pit-stop is going to cost me hours and I’m not even getting laid. Which doesn’t matter because—” he continues to struggle without success “—you’re not that hot anyways.”

When Lara turns around and walks away, he twists his neck to try and follow where she’s going. “I’m going to get out of this chair, and I swear to God, I’m going to kill you if you don’t help,” he raises his voice to make sure she can hear, his stomach twisting itself into knots. If he strains, he can hear her rummaging through something. “I mean, I’m going to fucking rip you apart. I’ll—”

When Lara returns, Elijah’s voice dies in his throat. He doesn’t know whether it’s the ten-inch hunting knife in her hands or the calmness in her expression that silences him, but either way, his blood runs cold. With every step she takes towards him, his arms twist against the duct tape with more urgency, but he can’t get free.

“What are you going to do to me?” Lara tilts her head innocently, weapon still in hand.

Elijah stops moving.

Even when she turns back towards the camera and goes, “I can’t believe that’s all it took to get him quiet,” he doesn’t ask who the fuck she’s talking to. He doesn’t make a sound. Not when Lara steps closer to him, not when she brings the tip of the blade to his Adam’s apple, and not when she smiles at the slow roll of his throat underneath the pressure. Not a goddamn sound.

She puts her mouth against his ear, and when she speaks, her warm breath grazes his skin. “Are you scared yet?” This time, her voice is barely above a murmur. This question’s for Elijah, not the camera. His mouth is suddenly and totally dry.

“Kill me quick.” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself, but he doesn’t regret them. It’s a hunting knife. The images of what she could do with it flash in his mind one after the other. If all she does is kill him, here and now, it would be merciful. Maybe that makes Elijah a coward, but nobody’s going to know it.

Twenty-three years. He could be satisfied with twenty-three years.

“That’s not what I asked.” Lara’s knife presses deeper to his throat, and a pinprick of blood drips down his neck. Elijah strains his peripheral vision trying to catch a glimpse of Lara’s expression. Nothing.

“I’m fucking terrified,” he whispers. It doesn’t matter what his last words are. Nobody’s around to hear them.

When Lara pulls away, knife and all, Elijah doesn’t shut his eyes like he wants to. In a few minutes, he’ll be dead, and maybe he wants Lara to be the last thing he sees. He doesn’t know. Elijah’s about to die, and he doesn’t know anything.

Lara slams the hunting knife right between his legs into the chair.

“Good answer,” she hums, looking back over her shoulder to the camera. “I think this one is going to be fun.” Elijah’s entire body shudders involuntarily.

“I’m serious,” his voice shakes. “Kill me. Quick.” Twenty-three years.

Lara looks back to the sweaty, trembling mess she’s made of him and wrenches the hunting knife out from the chair with little more than a glance in his direction.

“Sorry, I missed.” With an alarming swiftness, she plunges the knife back into his thigh. The scream that rips out from Elijah’s throat drowns out her voice as she steps back to admire her work.

"Like I said. Fun."

#lara's right elijah's stupid #but i love him anyways #she does too #male whumpee #female whumper #lady whumper #big whumpee #small whumper #defiant whumpee #possessive whumper #long term captivity #whump stuff #whump ideas #whump scenario #whump writing #whump fic #whump #elijah king #lara callaway

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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 1 year

Text

Part 2

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Part 1 🍂 Part 3

Pairing: Syverson x ofc

Series summary: Life with Sy, what more can you wish for? The most amazing husband and father to a whole litter of cute little kids... Sometimes you wonder "how did you get here?"

Series warning: Eventual smut, right now, more fluff...

Word count: 1.4k

A/N: Thank @keanureevesisbae for hitting that 30k mark and earning the whole of the internet a nice little chunk of Sy <3

Any mistakes you may find I left in there on purpose for y'all to find!

“NO! NO! NO!” You jumped away from the spluttering shower as fast as you could. The water was ice cold and brown. God, you’d been so occupied with everything else that needed done around here that you completely forgot to call a plumber. Maybe Sy was right, maybe this house was a death-trap. Your phone rang; speak of the devil!

“Sy, hey! I was just thinking about the way you insulted my house yesterday!”

“I’m sorry, Sugar,” you could hear Sy laugh on the other side of the call. He had a hot laugh. And a hot voice. God you couldn’t afford to think about a man this much, you had other things to worry about. Brown tap water. Toilets that didn’t work. Things like that.

“Hey, I know there’s the whole thing where we’re supposed to wait three days to call,” he said nervously, “but I couldn’t wait. First because I’d really like to see you again,” that was awfully sweet of him… “and second because I couldn’t help but wonder if you’d gotten stuck in your porch again and were in need of rescue.” And another insult. Great.

The stifled snickering on the other side of the line made you want to punch this man in the throat. Sure, you’d need a step stool to even be able to reach it, but God he was annoying right now.

“I don’t need your help, Sy!” That was a lie. “But I’d love to go out for a drink again.” That wasn’t a lie.

“Lara, are you sure there isn’t anything I can help you with?” The concern in his voice was so genuine that you decided to humor him.

“I’ll let you know if I think of anything,” you said with the sweetest voice you could muster, “but in the meantime I could use a ride to the café?”

“Already on my way, I’ll see you in five.” Five? Did he mean hours? You were still in your pajama’s. And partially covered in dirt water. And dirt dirt. Hair a mess, face a mess, barefoot and… You quickly brushed your teeth with some bottled water, cursing all the way through at how completely ridiculous that was, and looked in the broken mirror over the sink. The options were: ‘Brush hair and look like exploded poodle who had been struck by lightning’ or ‘don’t brush hair and look like exploded poodle who hadn’t been struck by lightning’, and since that last option both saved time and looked less… static, you decided to go with that.

Five minutes, on the dot. You’d say your doorbell rang, but that didn’t work, either. A knock on the door worked just fine, though, especially if the person knocking tried his very best to whack the entire thing from its hinges.

“One moment!” You yelled, trying furiously to un-fuck the situation your foot and your jeans currently had going on, leaving you half-naked at the top of the three steps into the sunken kitchen, struggling and… Of course.

“AAHRH!” You were now half-naked at the bottom of the three steps that lead into the sunken kitchen, still struggling. Your foot was unstuck. That was great.

“Are you alright in there?” Sy sounded worried rather than amused, but it was the kind of voice that allowed for that to change immediately after finding out you were alright. You pulled your skinny jeans to where they were supposed to go and got up. Or tried to, because a sharp pain in your ankle sent you floor bound again.

“Fuck!” You swore a little too loudly to make your next statement believable. “Yeah!”

“Sugar, is your back door unlocked?” Oh god, back in secondary school that would have been a monster innuendo.

“Sy, I’m fine!” Another lie.

“Darlin’,” he said with the determination of a man not to be messed with, “if you were as good at soundin’ fine ‘s you are at lookin’ it, I’d believe you. Now can I get to you without harming this house any further?”

“Key’s in the planter – ow,” you said reluctantly while rubbing your ankle. With quick strokes of your fingers, you brushed your hair back where it belonged. If you had to suffer through the disgusting patriarchal ceremony of being saved by a man, you were going to be a cute damsel in distress, dammit!

“It’s a unique second date, Sugar,” Sy chuckled as he waited next to you in the uncomfortable chairs of the doctor’s office, “I’ll give you that.”

“Funny, Sy,” you scoffed. This man got on your nerves more than you cared to admit. You didn’t need to be here, at all. You’d just twisted your ankle. If you went to the doctor for this back home, he’d have told you you’d just twisted your ankle. And to take two paracetamol every four hours for the pain. Sy wouldn’t accept that for an answer, however, so here you were. Luckily, not too many people had gotten hurt in this small town today, and you were out of there in about thirty minutes. With – how predictable – the message that it was just a twisted ankle, and to come back in a week if the pain didn’t go away. No mention of paracetamol.

“Coffee?” Sy said, offering you his arm for support while you limped back to the car.

“But we’ve got to make it a quick one,” you sighed, “I have some stuff at home to take care of. Do you happen to know a decent plumber around here?” He’d lived here for years, he had to know someone, right?

“I can take a look at it when I drop you back off, if that’s alright?” It was a kind offer. Then why did it piss you off so much?

“It’s alright, Sy, I don’t need your help.”

“I’m not saying you need my help, Sugar.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and you could tell he was doing everything he could to not allow it to break through completely. “I’m offering to help you. That’s two different things.”

Why, Lara, you thought, why do you have to be like this? “It’s not. I’m not some helpless little girl who needs a man to save her, or open doors or…”

“If you think I treat you the way I do because I think you’re weak or helpless, you’re wrong.” Sy said through gritted teeth. He looked really angry – and he had a right to be pissed. “I’m not going to beg you to let me help you, Sugar. Hell, if I didn’t like you the way I did, I probably wouldn’t be offering again.”

“Girl! Was that Sy who just drove off?” Julie’s curious face appeared in your kitchen right when you were getting ready to make your first cup of coffee in this house using tap water.

“It was, he fixed my pipes.” Fuck. Shouldn’t have said that. Not like that, anyway.

“I bet he d- “

“Jules.” You made no effort to hide your annoyance. Allowing Sy to help you while you just stood there and did nothing had put you on edge.

“Alright, anyway. I was stopping by to ask how that date went but… Girl, why are you limping?” Her eyes opened comically wide, only feeding your irritation.

“Jules!”

“Jezus Christ, tell me what happened, maybe?” She sank down in one of your kitchen chairs – uninvited and with a very dramatic sigh.

“You haven’t even given me the chance!” Without asking you poured her a cup of coffee too and basically slammed it down in front of her. Coffee should have spilled, but apparently luck was on your side for a change.

“Girl, spill!” It took you three minutes to give her the rundown of what had happened the night before, and the bonus events of this morning.

“He really likes you,” Julie said as she finished her coffee.

“How do you know?”

“First of all,” oh god, this was going to be a lecture, “he literally calls you the next morning. Lara, you are the only person on this planet who will not take that as a goddamn hint!” She shook her cup, asking you for more coffee.

“Second, acts of service are like this man’s number one love language,” Julie continued, “or maybe second. If he starts being touchy with you, you’re golden.” Oh, how you wished…

#syverson fanfiction #syverson x ofc #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson #syverson #captain syverson x ofc #syverson fic

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leftistfeminista · 14 days

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Sexual violence: the forgotten chapter of the military dictatorship of Brazil

Despite being present and constant, the sexual violence practiced by repression agents, authorized by the regime's top brass to torture any suspect, is hardly mentioned in history books and other more common records about the period. One of the challenges faced by consultants, academics and specialists who worked at CNV was precisely to bring these reports to light.

"Sexual violence is an unknown aspect of the military dictatorship. Even today, even after the publication of the CNV's final report, it is something that remains little known because it is a taboo topic and carries this extra burden when discussed", says Glenda Mezzaroba, scientist politician who coordinated the working group "Dictatorship and Gender" at the CNV and author of the book A reckoning with the future: amnesty and its consequences, a study of the Brazilian case . "

According to the political scientist, it was extremely important to conceptualize very well what can be considered sexual violence using the concepts of international bodies such as the World Health Organization. Especially because at the time of the military regime (and even today) the concept of sexual violence and rape are very focused on whether or not there was penetration. And the reports collected show that there was, indeed, sexual violence that did not necessarily involve penetration of the vagina or anus, "The majority of victims did not have the idea that being forced to be naked at the time of arrest is already sexual violence," explains. "We even observed that there were allegations of sexual violence in the book that Carlos Marighella published in 1965, reporting electric shocks to the genitals. However, there was not much clarity in the classification of this violence.

The chapter reserved for sexual violence in the final report of the National Truth Commission published in 2014, showed how the agents of repression had a macabre appreciation for the practice. In the reports, the initial act of stripping the prisoner naked and placing him in front of other agents and spectators was standard. Verbal humiliation, accusations and death threats against companions, family and friends then followed. Women were raped in front of their spouses as a way to get them to hand over information.

"I was there, I was vulnerable, completely vulnerable. Then the guy put his hand inside my clothes and then, well, like any other sexual abuse, I won't describe details, but that's what happened. His hand went through everything and I don't know what. He said: 'No, she's going to cum, with me she's going to cum and she's going to talk'. That's just normal people's stuff."

The excerpt above was taken from the testimony of Ieda Akselrud de Seixas, daughter of Minas Gerais militants, raped at DOI-CODI in 1971 when her entire family was arrested for involvement in revolutionary movements that fought against the military regime. Ieda, like several women and men, reports that it took some time to understand that the rape she suffered was also part of the military's torture method.

"But it took me a long time to realize that it was sexual abuse, do you know why? I minimized that episode because, after all, it wasn't a macaw's dick, it wasn't a shock and it wasn't a dragon's chair. That's really crazy! It's really crazy," she said.

Maria Auxiliadora Lara Barcelos, known as "Dora", was arrested in 1969 and taken to the Army Police barracks , in Vila Militar , where she was stripped naked, beaten, and subjected to electric shocks on her breasts, vaginas and various parts of her body. She was banished to Chile in 1971, but had to leave the country because of the Pinochet dictatorship. Dora never recovered from the emotional consequences left by torture and committed suicide in 1976 at the age of 31 in West Berlin. Photo: Reproduction.

The simple fact that they were women, whether left-wing militants or not, was also a reason for the military to curse and verbally humiliate the captured women. The common sense was that they were to blame for being there, as it was far from their role as daughter, wife or mother. Gender hatred was evident. That's why they called them "whore", "slut" and any other adjective that is the counterpoint of saint. The only two roles applicable to women in the regime's view.

"Because you are a woman, you also realize that there is perhaps, sometimes, a much greater anger, I don't know if it is because of the question of thinking 'why is a woman doing this? Why is a girl doing this?' And it's a way, perhaps, of wanting to disqualify you in every way. In fact, the least you hear is that you're a 'cow' That's the way you're called," reported Maria. Aparecida Costa to CNV.

According to the final report, sexual violence was not occasional but rather widespread as a common practice throughout the repressive structure of the regime. "In the testimonies analyzed by the “Dictatorship and Gender” working group, DEIC, DOI-CODI, DOPS, Galeão Air Base, Army Police battalions, Casa da Morte (Petrópolis), Cenimar, CISA, police stations, Oban are mentioned. , military hospitals, prisons and barracks," says item 37 belonging to chapter 10 of the final report of the National Truth Commission.

In addition to the emotional scars that the torture left on the victims, there are still some who carried great guilt for having given up information about their companions during the torture sessions. This issue was also addressed by the team coordinated by Mezzaroba. In an anonymous statement, a woman reports the great guilt she felt after not having resisted the pain during torture and revealed information to the military. She was arrested at 19 years old.

"(…) We can hear in the speech of many of those who have gone through the experience of imprisonment and torture, referring to themselves, expressions such as “I resisted”, “I didn't inform on”, “I didn't turn anyone in”. Or, referring to others, expressions like: “he didn’t open anything”. (…) Expressions that, on the one hand, reflect the feeling of pride and honor of those who say them, also carry with them, implicitly, even if subtly, a painful accusation against those who say them. who, for some reason, didn't resist. Maybe they don't understand their pain," said the victim in her report.

Mezzaroba says that the owner of the above statement carried a load of guilt, apart from the inevitable psychological consequences of anyone who was a victim of torture promoted by the State. "She brought great pain, embedded in this logic that you should resist and not give anything away. In fact, everything that happens from the first violence in torture, nothing becomes the victim's responsibility after that. (…) she was the victim of unspeakable and incapable of measurement violence. Nothing that happens under torture is the responsibility of the victim. There, the human being no longer has control over his or her body. which is really important."

#political prisoners #marxism-feminism #brazil #military junta #military dictatorship #women's rights

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